The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 5, Episode 9 - The Gruesomes - full transcript

The kind of place you want
is hard to find.

There's no demand for haunted
houses anymore, Mrs. Gruesome.

Well, Creepella,
I guess we'd better go.

Alright, Weirdly.

Say, wait a minute,
mr. And mrs. Gruesome.

How would you like
a broken-Down mansion?

That's the kind
we'd like.

It's the old tombstone
manor place.

Sounds repulsively
attractive.

Here's a picture
of tombstone manor.

Oh, it's delightfully
morbid!



Beautifully
run-Down.

I hope the neighbors are nice.

We've had trouble
with neighbors.

The folks next door to this
place are the Flintstones.

They're very
friendly people.

Sounds nice.

We'll take it.

Good! I'll chisel out
the contract.

[Growling]

[Grrr grrr]

- Gobby.
- Yes, mommy?

Please keep Schneider
the spider quiet.

Yes, mommy.
[Crash and banging]

Quiet, schneider, or I'll
have to scrunch you.



That's a good boy,
Gobby.

We call him Gobby. His
name is really Goblin.

That figures.

Well, good luck in your
new home, mr. Gruesome.

Yechh!

Mr. Gruesome has
a real gruesome handshake.

Clammy, isn't it?

Like a wet fish,
mr. Gruesome.

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

It'll be nice to have our own
dilapidated home again, Weirdly.

I hope there are some bats
in the house, Creepella.

I'll start a garden and
grow our own toadstools,

Weirdly, darling.

[Grrrr grrrr]

[Whimpering]

There's our new
residence, dear...

tombstone manor.

Ooh! Isn't it
a lovely mess!

A little unfixing
here and there,

And it will be
a total wreck.

Abominable lawn.
I love it!

Waist-High crabgrass.

[Snap snap]

With real crabs!

Delightfully wretched place.

Oh, look, Weirdly,

That must be our new
neighbor mr. Soapstone.

Oh, Creepella,

You always get
people's names wrong.

His name's not Soapstone.
It's Flintstone.

Come on, dear,
let's look inside our house.

[Snoring]

[Grrrr grrrr]

Huh? Ah!
Get off of me!

A giant
black widow spider!

Don't worry, kid.
I'll save you!

One side, boy.
I'll get him!

Come on, schneider.

Oh, no!

It's the kid's pet!

What could his parents
be thinking of?

Now he's heading for that
spooky old place next door.

All the other kids leave
tombstone manor strictly alone.

Now he's getting into
that black station wagon.

Uh...that's
no station wagon.

That's a hea...hea...
a hearse!

We'll have
the storage company

Move our things in,
Weirdly.

Right away,
Creepella, dear.

We have a good start with
tombstone manor, darling.

We'll become solid members
of the community,

Join the clubs,
the pta.

Sounds delightful,
creepy, dear.

I was not
dreaming, Barney!

The kid had a spider
as big as your head.

Face it, Fred. You had
a nightmare during the day.

I tell you, it happened.

Say, what's
that you planted?

It's a fast-Growing
watermelon seed.

And just what is
a fast-Growing watermelon?

That's a fast-Growing
watermelon, Fred.

This just isn't my day.

[Ooh bagga boo gabba]

Look at Bamm-Bamm.

Hey,
isn't that cute?

He's putting daddy's
car in the garage.

It's handy having the strongest
kid in the world for a son.

Yeah, he's some kid.

[Dada adda baba ka]

Okay, little pebbley-Poo.
Daddy's coming.

Hold on tight, pebbles.

Up she goes!

[Laughing]

Fred,
where are you?

I'm here, Wilma.

Fred, wait till you
hear the good news.

We're going to have
new neighbors

Next door
in tombstone manor.

I was talking to rock dome,
the real estate man.

He said a family
is moving in today.

Great. Whoever moves in
will have to fix the place up.

We heard the good news.

New neighbors.

Isn't it wonderful?

They'll spruce up
tombstone manor.

Look, here comes
the moving van.

Must be the new
neighbors' furniture.

I guess it's not polite
to stand here and watch, Wilma.

Right. Let's go in
the house and watch.

Right.

Hey, Fred, what's that
thing over the moving van?

Just a little
storm cloud, Barney.

Hey, Fred, look.

The storm cloud is
moving over the house now.

Must be one of those
local showers.

Over one house?

How local
can a storm get?

Nature has many
strange secrets, Barney.

Yeoww!

And lightning
is one of them!

Oww!

Isn't that
an odd-Looking chair?

Sure is, Wilma.

I don't get a charge
out of period stuff.

I bet you would
if you sat in it.

Wow. Look at the size
of that cheese slicer.

Everything's big.

How about that
crazy silverware?

- And look at that!
- What is it?

I don't know,

But I hope
they keep it chained up.

Wilma, look at the size
of that bird cage!

There's no bird that big.

[Squawk]

Of course,
I could be wrong.

A smart cat would
leave that bird alone.

Betty, I have an idea.

I'll invite our new neighbors
over for some cactus tea.

Wonderful, Wilma.

And I'll bring some
peanut butter sandwiches.

I'll fix them
right away.

Hey, what period
is that furniture, Fred?

That is early
torture chamber. Period.

Hey, Fred, what kind
of car is that?

The kind that
takes you there

But doesn't
bring you back.

I didn't get a good look at the
new neighbors. Did you, Fred?

No, I didn't. But
somehow I get the feeling

That we didn't
miss a thing.

Come on, Barney. Let's
check the girls' reaction.

Okay, Fred.

Hey, look, Barney. The girls
have fixed a snack for us.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Yabba-Dabba-Don't.
They're not for you, Fred.

Well, for who, then?

For our new neighbors,
to welcome them.

Welcome them?

How about a nice,
hearty handshake

And save the food?

You can have a
peanut butter sandwich

When the new
neighbors arrive.

[Knock on door]

Hey, Fred,
someone at the door.

Okay, okay,
I'm coming.

[Door opens]
yes?

Hello, mr. Flintstone.
I'm gruesome.

Yeah, you are,
sort of,

But knowing it
is half the battle.

You can
call me Weirdly.

I was just about
to do that.

I'm your new neighbor.

I came over to borrow
a cup of red ants.

Red an--
Ah ha ha!

Hey, that's
a funny gag.

My anteater
didn't have lunch.

Oh, no! Stop!

His anteater!

Oh, Fred,
who's your friend?

This is our new neighbor,
mr. Weirdly gruesome.

What a sense of humor.
He's a lotta laughs.

Nice to meet you,
mr. Gruesome.

Hi, weird.

Will you bring
your wife over

To have some tea
and sandwiches?

Thank you. I will.

But I really would've liked
to have had some red ants.

There he goes again.
Isn't he a scream?

What a sense
of humor!

Red ants?

I don't get it.

I don't want it.

Bring the little lady
back with you, weirdly.

I will,
mr. Flintstone.

We always manage
to get odd neighbors.

Mmm.

What a cute,
tender animal.

[Yipe]

[Yipe yipe
yipe yipe yipe]

Would you like sliced carrots
for dinner, Weirdly, darling?

Oh, yes,
Creepella, dear,

Especially the way
you fix them.

I think we'll get along

With our new neighbors,
the Flintstones.

They're
revoltingly friendly.

I hope so. In the past, we've
had only busybody neighbors

Always asking questions.

"Where's my pet cat?"
"Have you seen my poodle dog?"

"Where's my parrot?"

There, there,
creep, baby.

Don't get excited.

Let me hold your
scrawny hand, my dear.

Why is everyone else in
the world so odd, Weirdly?

They simply can't
help it, Creepella.

Now, dear, let's slither
over to the Flintstones'.

I'll bet that mrs. Gruesome
is very attractive.

That's right.

Usually when the husband is,
well, you know,

The wife is very pretty.
Right, Fred?

And vicey versey.

[Knock on door]

Here they come.

[Door opens]
mrs. Flintstone,

This is my nauseatingly
lovely wife Creepella.

Oh. Oh...hello,
mrs. Gruesome.

You may call me
Creepy, cookie.

Creepy?

That's one of those
vicey verseys.

Oh, yes, I have a perfectly
wretchedly darling little boy.

He'll be over
in a few minutes.

He's so adorable,
you'll loathe him.

Creepella, that's
one of my good cups!

Good? Don't be
so modest, darling.

It's delicious.

Oh, yes. Our boy gob
is quite a little lad.

Gob? Is he a sailor?

Oh, no.

Gob is short
for Goblin.

It figures.
It figures.

Does little Goblin
have a pet spider

That looks like
a derby hat with legs?

He did, but little gob,
shall we say, wore him out.

Yeah. Let's say that.
Spiders can't take it.

Goblin is the kind of boy

You don't take to
when you first meet him.

I'll buy that.

But when you get
to really know him,

You can't stand him.

[Wheezy laugh]

Weirdly:
here's Gobby now.

Gobby has a new pet,
a grasshopper.

Isn't that cute?

Hold it.

Hooooold it!

Out with
the grasshopper.

[Crying]

What a mean man,
picking on a little boy.

Fred, these people
are our new neighbors.

They're guests in our house!

Now, you apologize
to the Gruesomes.

Ohhh...

Alright. I'm sorry
I acted that way.

I apologize, Gruesomes.

That's alright,
Mr. Flintstone.

Good. Now, let's all
dig into the sandwiches.

At least they left
one sandwich. Hey!

Wilma!

Fred, for heaven's sake,
keep quiet.

What will the Gruesomes
think of us?

What will they
think of us?

Ask me what
I think of them.

Fred, please don't
hurt their feelings.

Well, okay.

Thanks, Fred.
They're our neighbors,

And I'd like to be
friends with them.

Okay, sweetie. I'll
be real neighborly.

You're sweet, Fred.

Ah. Hee hee hee.

Oh, shucks.

For they're such
jolly good Gruesomes

For they're such
jolly good Gruesomes

For they're such
jolly good Gruesomes

Nobody can deny

Oh, thank you.

It's been nauseatingly
gracious of all of you.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, folks.

See you later,
neighbors.

What's with the
"see you later" stuff?

I don't want
to see them later.

I'm Gruesomed
up to here!

I've offered to mind
Goblin for them.

The Gruesomes have to
go out for a while.

[Telephone rings]
I'll get it.

If it's the Gruesomes,
we're not home.

Hello?
This is Mrs. Flintstone.

Oh, yes, Andre.

Andre?

Oh, yeah.
Wilma's hairdresser.

Are you sure, Andre?

I thought my appointment
was for tomorrow.

Alright, Andre,
I'll be in today.

Oh, uh, Fred, dear...

yes, Wilma?

I have to keep
a hairdressing appointment,

So I can't mind
little Goblin for the Gruesomes.

You're lucky.

But I can't
disappoint them.

They're counting on me
to mind Gobby.

Fred and I could
mind little Goblin.

Oh, yeah?

Who's going to mind Pebbles
and Bamm-Bamm-- Our own kids?

No problem.
Betty's coming with me.

We'll take Pebbles
and Bamm-Bamm with us.

Thanks, boys.
See you later.

"Fred and I
can mind little Goblin."

Big mouth. You walked us
right into that one.

So what, Fred? We be
good neighbors to them,

They'll be good
neighbors to us.

There's no greater credo,
Fred, than love thy neighbor.

Oh, shut up!

Okay. We'll mind
little Gobby for them.

Gee, way down deep,
you're a good guy, Fred.

It's revoltingly
nice of you

To mind little
goblin for us.

We won't be long.

Well, there they go.

Yeah.

[Thunder]

And I'm glad the storm
cloud's going with them.

Now, play nice with
your gila monster, Gobby.

We're going to
take a look around.

Hey, nice house for
a halloween party, Fred.

Yeah. It's already
got one Goblin.

Very funny, Fred.

Get a load of those
hatchets over there.

Looks like a boy scout knife
that wouldn't quit.

[Squeaking]

Hey, what's that, Fred?

That's a bat,
and I don't mean baseball.

Come on, Fred.
Let's check on little Gobby.

Hey, Gobby's gone, Fred.

Yeah. I might know
where he is.

You see anything, Fred?

A turtle, two toads,
but no Goblin.

Hey, there
he goes, Fred.

Come back here, Gob.

You see him, Fred?

Yeah. I see him,
alright.

What happened, Fred?

He used a new blade on me.
Hey, come back here!

That's a fast kid.
He's disappeared already.

Maybe he went
in that door.

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

Well, go and look.

Okay. Don't
rush me, Fred.

Just stairs
down to the cellar.

Well, get down
and see if he's there.

I'm not
the curious type, Fred.

Go on!

We'll both go down.

Stop pushing, Fred.

I think I see his
eyes shining, Fred.

Yeah. I'll grab him.

[Crash]

Ooh! Aah!

Aah!

It's a herd of crockadools--
Crickadiles--

Alligators!
Alligators!

That's it! That's it.
I'll hold the door, Barney.

Get a mallet.

Yeah,
right, Fred.

Hurry up!

Oh, boy,
what a place this is.

Here's a sandbox, Fred.

Yeah. Maybe
he's hiding in here.

Hey, I'm sinking!

It's a quicksand box!

I know! I know!
Pull hard. Pull hard!

Not that hard.

Here, Goblin.
Here, Gobby.

Where can that kid be?

Let's go home, Fred.

We'll have to
find gob first.

Then we'll
get outta here.

Oh, Fred. Fred.
What is it?

That flower grabbed me.

That's ridiculous.

Flowers
don't grab people.

[Muffled]
help! Help!

Do something, Barney!

Don't worry, Fred.
I'll save you.

[Growls]

Must be a tiger lily.

Oh, Goblin!

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

Let's stay close
together, Barney.

Right, Fred.

[Growling]

Hmm. That's interesting.

Gobby might be
hiding in here.

Oh, pardon me.

'S alright.

I'll get you
this time.

Uncle.
Uncle. Uncle.

Uncle. Uncle.

Oh, okay, uncle.
I'll put him down.

I'm going!
I'm going!

Did you find him?

Yeah, I found him.
Let's get out of here.

Not me, Fred.

I promised to protect
little gobby,

And that's what
I'm gonna do.

Ah, there you are.

Uncle.

Uh, okay, uncle.
I'm putting him down.

Like you said, Fred,
let's get out of here!

That isn't easy, barn.

I haven't been able
to find the way out.

Tell you what-- You look
that way, I'll go this way.

Okay, barn. If you
need help, yell for me.

I'll come a-Running.

What a creepy place.

Fred! Fred!
Help! Help!

I'm coming, barn!

W-W-What's the trouble?

No trouble yet, Fred.

I wanted to see how
fast you could get here.

Get going.
Find the way out.

Well, uh, okay, Fred.

I heard a lot
of footsteps.

Nobody.

I must've imagined it.

Now I'm imagining
something else.

[Mumbling]

Yeoww!

Help! Fred!

Fred! Fred!

Okay okay.
I'm coming.

Oh, no.

Let go of him.

Let go, I say!

Here we are,
home again, Creepella.

Good old tombstone manor.

I hope our boy has been
a good little Goblin.

There he is now,

Riding his
man-Eating iguana.

Isn't he cute?

I hope Goblin hasn't done
you-Know-What

To mr. Flintstone
and mr. Rubble.

Could be. Gobby is
at the pranky stage.

Mommy won't be mad.
Tell her.

Did you hide
the nice men

Down the wellsy-Wellsy...

or cement them
in the wallsy-Wallsy?

Isn't he darling,

The way he ignores us?

He's delightfully
disobedient.

Fred and Barney:
help! Help!

Help! Help!

They're inside,
safe and sound.

Goblin wasn't naughty
after all.

Help! Help!

Put us down.

They're having
fun with ocki.

No, no, ocki,
put them down.

You've played enough.

Thank you very much,
neighbors.

Y-Y-You're welcome.

S-S-Same here.

See you later, betty.

Okay, Wilma.

[Goo goo-Goo gaba]

[Uboka ka wah]

Your hair looks
just darling.

Thank you, betty.

Fred! What's going on?

We're moving. Get
your clothes packed.

Moving? Why?

Because I'm not gonna live
next to that gruesome twosome!

But, Fred--

Get your things packed!
We're getting out.

Nothing could make me stay
with those gruesomes next door.

Here are the stars
of at home with the gruesomes.

The gruesomes?

We hope all you viewers

Will tune in
our show next week.

Creepella and I are just
the usual simple homebodies,

But we will have
unusual guest artists

On our show each week.

There's a lot of talent
right here in Bedrock,

And we bring it to you.

Wilma! Wilma!

What is it, Fred?

Stop this nonsense.
We're not moving.

We're stayin'
right here.

But you said you didn't
like the Gruesomes.

I said, I said.

Since when are you paying
attention to what I say?

Why aren't we moving, Fred?

You just don't move away
from tv stars.

Tv stars?

Fred, where
are you going?

To the Gruesomes',
where else?

Hey, Weirdly.
Weirdly, boy.

Open up.
It's neighbor Fred.

I saw you on tv, Weird.

You were
great, great, great!

What poise.
What a voice.

And you were
ravishing, Creepella.

Oh, you photograph
beautifully.

[Snap]

Ah! Ah! Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

Why, mr. Flintstone,

You stepped in Goblin's
little mousetrap.

Yeah,
with my big toe.

Gobby, you know

You shouldn't have trapped
mr. Flintstone's toe.

Oh, think
nothing of it.

Ha ha! I like a boy
with a sense of humor.

Let go! Let go!

I'm sorry about that.

Think nothing of it.

I love playful plants.

Oh, uh, Weirdly.

Yes, mr. Flintstone?

There's lots of talent
in bedrock.

Like, uh, take me,
for instance.

I sing...

la dee da

Dee da dee da dee

Dah dah

And I dance...

root-Y toot-Y too

A root-Y
too-Too-Too-Too

Rat-A-Tat a-Tat
a-Tat a-Too♪

I'm very popular
in this town.

I'd be great
for your opening show.

Give him the button,
weirdly, darling.

Excellent suggestion,

Creepella, my dear.

And then I end with
an "off to water buffalo."

Barney!

You auditioned, too,
Fred?

Yeah. And they sure
don't go for a single act.

You mean we team up?

What can we lose?
Let's rehearse it.

We certainly have some
oddball neighbors, Creepella.

Da dum
ba-Dum-Pum-Pum

Seems like
we always do, Weirdly.

We always do.

Da-Dum da-Dum

Da-Dum da-Dum da da

Da-Dum da-Dum da-Dum

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!