The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 24 - Son of Rockzilla - full transcript

To promote their new movie, "Son of Rockzilla," the producers hire Fred to wear Rockzilla's costume. However, Fred is unable to remove the creature's frightful mask. Now he is being pursued...


[dramatic music]


Hi, Mr. Flintstone.
Who are you pretending to be?

- Queen Kong?
- Queen Kong? Why, you little--

Aa-aa-ah. You're bein'
a naughty monster.

I've seen hammy performances,
but wow!

- He, uh, didn't buy it, huh?
- No.

Maybe I'd better give up.
I just don't have it.

What you need is
some instruction, Fred.

Instruction? Where do you learn
to act like a beast?

At the zoo.

I hear they got a couple of real
loo-loos up there. Ha ha ha.

Of course, the zoo.
I'm glad I thought of it.

- You uh--
- Let's go, Barney.

I don't wanna keep
my teacher waiting. Ha ha.

[theme music]

[horn blaring]


meet the Flinstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flinstones

Have a yabba-dabba-doo time

A dabba-doo time

You'll have a gay old time

Clear the alley.
Here we go.

Right down the old groove.
And another Strike! Ha ha ha.

Barney, can't you wait until
we get to the bowling alley?

Now watch this new
delivery of mine, Fred.

Poetry in motion.

Poetry? Ha ha ha.

Looks more like an advanced case
of bowler's bends.

Now look at this form.

Now look what you've done!

After it before it
goes down the sewer.

[peppy music]

Faster, Barney.

Hurry up
with the painting, Henry.

I have lots of
other things for you to do.


Get off those silly stilts,
and get back to work.

Duck, Fred.
It-It's coming back.


You and your trick shots.

Throw the ball to dada, son,
as hard as you can.



Yeah, that was my son
who did that.

- Waiter, where's my spaghetti?
- Here you are, sir.

- Where's my meatballs?
- It's coming right up, sir.

Come on, hurry it up.


I wasn't in
that much of a hurry.


Pardon me, sir.

Oh, here it is.


I think I've got
a little of your meat sauce.


Hey, not bad.
Not bad at all.

- Here, try some, Fred.
- Looks delicious.

Mmm. Very tasty.
Yes, yes.

Don't you think
it needs a little more salt?

Yeah, I thought--

Out. Both of you,
out, out, out!

Alright, my man,
have it your way.

And just for that,
we'll never eat here again.

Boy, what a sore head
that guy was.

Hey, Fred, look.
"Coming, Bedrock Theatre.

Son of Rockzilla."

Ha ha ha. That oughta be
a bundle of laughs.

Wowy! What a gruesome
looking monster.

Oh, yeah? You haven't seen
Wilma's mother lately, have you?

Oh, she couldn't be worse
than these movie monsters.

I wonder who thinks them up.

I don't know. But whoever it is,
he must be a real fien.

(female #1)
'Fiendish Films. Sorry,
Mr. Fiendish is in conference.'

Fiendish Films.
Mrs. Fiendish?

She's in Rock Springs.

Some publicity man
you are, Bunkley.

"Son of Rockzilla"
opens tomorrow.

And you still haven't thought
of a gimmick for the newspapers.

Now, don't worry, Mr. Fiendish.
I'll think of a stunt.

We've got to make the public
Rockzilla conscious.

Say, maybe we'd better aim
for the teenagers.

Say, I got it.
I got it.


Another lucky ticket contest.

Remember this one,
Mr. Fiendish?

This was
a great gimmick.

'"Win a date
with Frankenstone."'

'What a brain storm
that was, remember? ha ha ha.'

Yes, until the papers found out
that the monster was married.

We need something that will
put us in the headlines.

'Headlines, um?'

Say, how about the old
scare 'em stunt?

- Scare 'em stunt?
- Sure.

We dress up some boob
as Rockzilla

and send him
into the streets.

[evil laughter]

Get it?

Why, that would
cause a panic.

Traffic tie ups.
People screaming.

Great. Great!

Then we call the papers,
report that a monster's lose.

Headlines, TV.
Fiendish has done it again.

Bunkley, you're a genius.

I always thought so.

Come on.

We've got to find some stoob
to play Rockzilla.

It's nice
to be appreciated.

No, these people are all too

We need a real hulk.

A big ugly--

Chief, our worries are over.

Look, this guy won't need
hardly any make up.

Uh-Uh, pardon me, mister.

What are you?
A wise guy?

Ah, excuse me, lady.




That's show biz for ya.
Ha ha ha.

Oh, there's got to be somebody
to play the monster.

Hey, take a look at that.

And a one, and a two.

Zoom! Phooey! Strike!

Don't you
ever get tired, Barney?

He certainly
looks the beastly type.

Yeah. But how do we know
he can act?

- Now watch this one, Fred.
- Barney, will you cut that out?



Oh, I-I'm sorry, Fred.
I-I'll see you later.

- What do you think, Bunkley?
- He's our man, sir.

Ohh! Ah! Yee-ah! Ah!

I'm gonna tear you
limb from limb, Barney.

- Err, pardon me, sir.
- What do you want? I'm busy.

Come on here, Barney.
Face your execution like a man.

You're perfect!

How would you like to make 50
bucks for just one night's work?

Oh, no you don't. I'm not
selling any more encyclopedias.

I guess we made
a mistake, Mr. Fiendish.

I thought we found
a new movie star.

Movie star?
A star? Me?

That's right. Star.
Once you pass the audition.

Audition, eh?

What kind of a part
do I play? Is it big?

Is it big?
Why, it's monstrous.

Eh, Mr. Fiendish?

Right. And we'll tell you
all about it at the office.


Wilma Flinstone!

You mean Fred's actually
going to be a movie star?

I don't believe it.

Neither do I, Betty.
But that's what they told him.

Imagine, running around town
in a Rockzilla costume

trying to scare people.

For that, he needs a costume?
Ha ha ha.

[Fred growling]



Oh, very realistic, Fred.
You almost had us fooled.


If it wasn't for
your bad posture

I never would have
recognized you.


Now what do you say, Wilma?
How do I look?


'Perfectly ridiculous.'

You've done foolish things
before. But this takes the cake.

Oh, yeah? How many fools make
50 bucks for one night's work?

And this is only a start.
Who knows?

I can end up
with my own TV series.

Yeah, and I got
a good title for it.

Nightmare Sea-gator.


Ha ha ha.
Good idea, Barney.

There's only one problem.

I don't think
he can frighten anyone.

Oh, yeah? I'll wake up Dino
and show ya.




Dumb dinosaur.
What does he know?

Just that you're making
a fool of yourself.

Hey! Look
who just came in?

[kids babbling]

Watch this.
He he he.

Don't you dare frighten
Pebbles and Bam Bam, Fred.

[kids babbling]




- Bam bam bam!
- Let go of me.

Ow! Stop it!
Ouch! Put me down.

Well, he put him down, Bam Bam.
He's a nice monster.


That baby still doesn't know
his own strength.

He was probably so scared, he
didn't know what he was doing.


Very funny.

Somebody help me off with my
head, will you? I need air.

Hey, this catch
is pretty tight.

There it is.

Help! A monster!

- Oh, I'm scared.
- Isn't it ugly?

Alright, alright.
Knock it off!

Oh, boy. We got a house
full of comedians.


Well, I better get going.
I'm due downtown at 9:00.

Hook me up, huh, Barney.

- Uh, can I come along, Fred?
- On the job?

Yeah, I've always wanted to work
with a big time monster.

Oh, really?
Well, okay. Come on.

Fred, haven't you
forgotten something?

Oh. He he he.
Yeah, goodbye, honey.



Ooh, that tickles.
Bye, Rockzilla.

I don't approve,
but happy monstering.

Thanks, Wilma.
This is gonna be real laughs.


I see what you mean, Fred.

Flinstone should be downtown
in his Rockzilla outfit at 9:00.

What time
is it now, Bunkley?

- Oh, well, five to 9:00, sir.
- 'You sure it hasn't stopped?'

I'll check, sir.

It's running.

Yeah. And I've been
running for eight days.


Where's my relief?

I'll call the police department
and spread the false alarm.

You get the sound effects record
ready, Bunkley.

[imitating old woman]
Hello, police department?

Precinct 12, police sergeant
McAsphalt speaking.

What's that? A monster?

Oh, come on, now, lady.

You sure you haven't cracked
your bifocals?

I tell you
he's here.

[imitating old woman]
I mean, he's here.
His name's Rockzilla.


Be sure to spell it right.


Start the sound
effects record, Bunkley.

Right, boss.


Rockzilla's lose!

Calling all cars!
calling all cars!

'Be on the lookout for a lose
monster. He's dangerous.'

Hear that? Let's go!

A monster, huh?
I wonder what he looks like.


He's nine feet tall.
Approximately 500 pounds.

A killer. I repeat, a killer.

Last seen, headed north.

The monster's headed north.
Where are we going?

South, for the winter.

- Who you calling, Bunkley?
- The newspapers, what else?

Good thinking, Bunkley.
That should get things moving.

[telephone ringing]

(male #1)
'Bedrock News.
Cut rate subscription.'

Night editor speaking.


Rockzilla is, what?

Hold the phone!



Stop the presses!
Stop the presses!

A monster's loose.

A monster?

Say, I wonder if Uncle Herman
is out again.

This is radio station
K-R-O-C-K, your friendly--

We interrupt this program
to bring you an announcement.

A savage monster
is at large in the city.

Further details after a brief
word about our sponsor.

Friends, have you been
short tempered lately?

Got that rundown feeling?


Darn, this cheap costume.
It's beginning to itch.

What's on your mind, Fred?

You've been as nervous
as a catasaurus.

Oh, I'm worried, Barney.

I might not be able
to handle this job.

After all, supposin'
I can't scare anybody.

Are you kidding?

You look horrible!

I can't stand
the sight of you.

You're just saying that
because you're my friend.

How do I know
I'll panic the public?

Hey, I got it, Fred.

Why don't you try out your act
around here first?

Right here,
in the neighborhood.

Yeah. Then I'll know if I'm
gruesome enough for downtown.

Hey, stop the car, Barney.

Who's that up ahead
crossing the street?


'It's Arnold the newsboy.'

Yeah. Here's where I get back
at that fresh kid.




Hi, Mr. Flinstone.
Who are you pretending to be?

- Queen Kong?
- Queen Kong? Why, you little--

You're being a naughty monster.

I've seen hammy performances,
but wow!

- He, uh, didn't buy it, huh?
- No.

Maybe I better give up.
I just don't have it.

What you need is
some instruction, Fred.

Instruction? Where do you learn
to act like a beast?

At the zoo.

I hear they got a couple of real
loo-loos up there. Ha ha ha.

Of course, the zoo.
I'm glad I thought of it.

- You uh--
- Let's go, Barney.

I don't wanna keep
my teacher waiting. Ha ha.

"Bedrock Zoo."
At least we found the place.

Gee, it's so dark

How do we find
the wild beast section?

Just keep your eyes
open, Barney.

'They're bound
to be around here someplace.'

Squak! another bad dream.

Maybe I'd better
see the Zoochiatrist.


Hey, Fred.
I think this is one of 'em.

"Doris, The Finkasaurus.
Do not disturb."

Hey, hey, Doris.
Doris. Wake up, baby.

[Doris growling]

Yeah, she's a genuine
finkasaurus, alright.

I-I-I don't know if the

if this is-is such
a hot idea, Fred.

Now, now, give me a minute.

Let's see if I can capture
the character.

[Fred growling]

Oh, we better beat it, Barney.
I think I gave the mating call.

[Doris roaring]

How's this, Barney?
How's this?

Hey, you got it, Fred.

Oh-ho, boy!
This may mean an Oscar!

I can hardly wait to try it.
Ha ha ha.

Now's your chance, Fred.
I hear a car coming.

Great, great.
Watch this, Barney.

I'll spring out at 'em.

Uh-oh! Police!

It's the monster.

Son of Rockzilla.
Let's get him.


I did it, Barney.
I did it!

I passed for Rockzilla,
I took 'em in.

They will be takin' us in.
This way, hurry.

There he goes.
Come back here, you monster.

Did you hear that, Barney?

He called me monster.
I'm a success!

Get reinforcements, Brickly.


Alright you.
Pull up, or I'll fire.

Halt! Halt!


Okay, you asked for it.


Wow! They're really out
to get me, Barney.

This wasn't in the deal.

Hey quick, Fred,
into these bushes.

Uh, we-we'll be safe
here, Fred.

Phew! That settles it.

I'm givin' up
show business.

You mean,
no more Rockzilla?

Right. I wouldn't
be caught dead in this outfit.

Ooh, what I said.

Help me off
with this phony head.

Uh, I can't.
it's stuck, Fred.

I can't undo it.

Oh, boy. Now what do I do?

Oh, give yourself up.

Throw yourself on
the mercy of the court.

You can plead insanity.

Are you kiddin'?
If I go out like this

the cops will shoot first
and ask questions afterwards.

Oh, gosh. You're right.

I'll drive home
and get some tools

for your head.
Now don't go away.

Don't go away?
Where will I go like this?


Easy, Fred.
You're too jumpy.

Aside from the cops,
nobody knows you are around.

Monster loose.
Read all about it!

Monster loose.

Read the Bedrock News.

Monster loose.

Oh, really, what they won't do
to sell papers.

You're so right.
They should be ashamed of..

[both screaming]

[Doris growling]

Help! A monster!

Police. Help!

Monster loose.
Read all about it.

Our phony Rockzilla

should be here
any minute now, Mr. Fiendish.

- I hope so.
- 'Help! Help!'

[Doris growling]

Run, run!
Run for your lives.

(female #2)
'A monster is loose!'
'Help! Help!'

Ah, good old Flintstone.
He's right on time.

He he he.
Look at him.

He's really giving us
our money's worth.

Listen to him ham it up.
He he he.

Don't over do it, Flintstone.

You've got
the whole night ahead of ya.



Flintstone, you're fired!

Where is Barney anyhow?
He's been gone at least an hour.

I got to get this head off.

(cop #1)
'This way, men.'

Uh-oh. Someone's comin'.

sniff sniff sniff

I think the

have picked up
the monster's trail.

I gotta get outta here.

Hey, Fred. Yo-hoo.
I got the pliers.

Come out. Come out,
where ever you are.

Looks like I made
a clean getaway.



What the..

Oh, so they went out
and hired another actor on me.

Whatever you do, buddy,
look out for the cops.

Not a bad imitation, fella.
Not bad at all.

Hey, they promised me 50 bucks.
How much they payin' you?


Now, cut that out!

Hey, listen. Help me off
with my head, will ya?

Just pull hard.


Okay, wise guy,
you asked for it.

That mouth!

That ugly bridgework!

No human being..

Oh, it's the finkasaurus!


Help! A monster!

Well, Brickly,
I guess we've lost him.

Help! Help!

It's Rockzilla!

Only now, there's two of them.
This is a regular epidemic.

After them!

Hey, Fred. Fred!
You can come out now.


Hey, Fred, I got the--



Just for that,
I won't help you

take off your phony head.

I just adore rock rummy,
don't you, Fran?

Rock rummy?

I thought we were
playing 21.

I-I-I gotta get outta
this suit, and fast.


Is that you, Fred?

Yeah, yeah, honey.

Oh, you haven't seen Fred
for years, have you, Salma?

Not since your wedding.

He's changed a little
since then.

Come on in
and meet the girls, dear.

This is the father
of my child.

Hi, honey.


[women screaming]

What's going on?

- I knew he was homely, but..
- Poor Wilma!

No wonder
she stays home so much.

Oh, Fred, why are you
still wearing that costume?

T-The cops are after me.

[knock on door]

Well, at least we got
one of them trapped.

We'll never take him alive.
Here goes.

Hey, hey, wait.
Hold your fire. Hold your fire.

I should let them go ahead
and blast you

for runnin' me down, Fred.

Are you nuts, mister?

You lookin' to get
torn to shreds.

By him? Huh.
Come on, ex-pal.

I'll help you off
with your phony head.

It's no use, Fred.
You and I are quits.

Now don't try to make up.
We're through.


Okay, okay.

Now stop apologizing.

It tickles.

Hey, come on, now let's
get this costume off.

Barney, wait!

Say, what's goin' on
around here anyway?

It was all
a publicity stunt.

Now, watch this.
I'll take off the head.

Hey, Barney,
wait, wait, don't.

It's okay, Fred.
I'll have it off in a minute.

'Stop it, Barney!'

Oh, am I hurting you, Fred?

Barney, will you look?
I'm over here.

Say, that's tricky, Fred,
but if you are there

you can't possibly
be inside here.

Therefore, by process
of elimination

this is a genuine monster.


Oh, there's nothing
to be afraid of, Barney.

- He likes you.
- It's a she.

Her name's Doris
The Finkasaurus.

From the zoo.

A finkasaurus?
No wonder she looks familiar.


Okay, okay,
put me down.

'Now, come on, Doris.'

Where do you think
you're going?

- To the zoo.
- Huh?

Sure, I got to take
my date home, don't I?

[everyone laughing]

Well you'll have to admit,
they do make a lovely couple.



Blu-br-r-b to you.


meet the Flintstones

They're a modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Some day maybe Fred
will win the fight

And then that cat
will stay out for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-dabba-doo time

A dabba-doo time

You'll have a gay old time

You'll have a gay old time