The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 25 - Bachelor Daze - full transcript

Look, Pebbles honey.

'Wanna play outta
the teeter-totter?'

[gibberish]

'Ha ha ha. Yeah.'

Hey, Dino, why don't
you get on with the baby?

Uh-uh.

Ah, don't pay any
attention to Dino, Pebbles.

You can't get hurt
just sitting on a seesaw.

clang clang

(male #1)
'Evening, Mr. Flintstone.'

Here's your paper.



(Fred)
'Ah, no. Hold it. Hold it!'

Every time
you throw the paper

you hit me
on my head with it.

I'll be careful,
Mr. Flintstone.

I'll throw it
way over there.

Well, okay.
But watch it, buster.

Right.

woink

Oh, boy.

boing

thud

Ouch!

crackle crackle

Goodbye, Mr. Flintstone.



That Arnold.

I don't know whether
to cancel my subscription

or increase
my accident insurance.

[babbling]

You said it, sweetheart.
The paper's all broken.

Hmm, Fame Honeyrock Hotel
to be torn do..

Torn down?

Oh, that's a shame!

I met your mommy
at that hotel, Pebbles.

I'll take Pebbles in now, Fred.
You better come in too.

We're having
dinner at the Rubbles.

And it's time
to get ready.

Yeah. Hey, Wilma,
they're tearing down

'the old Honeyrock Hotel.'

No-o!

Yeah, to make room
for a super market.

'Oh, read it to me later, Fred.'

'I've got to get
Pebbles into the house.'

Boy, what a shame.

Well, I guess sooner or later
everything has to come down.

boing

thud

Yeah, everything.

[theme music]

[siren blaring]

Eee-yabba-dabba-doo!

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with
the family down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

You'll have a gay old time

That was the most
delicious meal, Betty.

I'm so glad
you enjoyed it, Wilma.

Yessir, Betty is the best.

Slurp

gulp gulp

Yessir, Betty!
You sure are..

slurp

...some cook.

I don't know when I
tasted better stegosaurus ribs.

Why, thank you, Fred.

Bam, bam!
Bam, bam!

(Barney)
'Hey, look at that, Betty.'

Bamm-Bamm
thinks you're a good cook too.

Yeah, give
Bamm-Bamm and Pebbles

peanut butter sandwiches,
and they're happy.

Say, let's have our cactus
sherbet in the living room.

- Okay, Wilma?
- Fine, Betty.

I'll just take some of these
dishes into the kitchen.

Argh. Umph.

Oh, Barney.
This door is stuck again.

[babbling]

Oh, Bamm-Bamm!

When are you going to realize
your own strength?

But thanks.

Boy, Betty.
This sherbet is sure good.

You said it, Barn.
I'm gonna have another.

Yeow! Betty,
I thought you said

this cactus sherbet
was safe to eat.

Here's a cactus needle.

(Betty)
'Oh, I'm sorry, Fred.'

But that's what
the man at the market said.

Oh, speaking of markets,
do you they're tearing down

the old Honeyrock Hotel?

'To make room
for a super market.'

Oh, for heaven's sake.

How could they tear down
that lovely hotel

to make room for super market?

I guess people
are more interested

in shoppin' than stoppin'.

- Ha ha ha.
- Ha ha ha.

Oh, boy.

No, it's a shame.

I almost cried
when Fred told me about it.

(Barney)
'Gee, ah, I'm a little
choked up myself.'

The Honeyrock Hotel was were
I first met my darling wife.

mwah

Oh, Barney.

We met there too, Wilma.

The Honeyrock Hotel.

Ah, that was a wonderful
summer, wasn't it?

- I'll never forget it.
- Yeah, me neither.

Hey, uh, how long ago was it?
14, 15 years?

(Fred)
'Sixteen, Barney.'

- Are you sure?
- Sure, I'm sure, Barn.

I remember it was the summer

my father gave me
my first straight razor.

(Fred narrating)
'You and I
had just started workin'

'as bell boys
at the Honeyrock Hotel.'

ding ding ding

Front, boy.

(Fred)
'Yes, sir, Mr. Stonyface.'

Show Mr. Roxon Rocks

and the rest
of his luggage to room 402.

Ah, yes, sir.
Right away.

Oh, uh, front, boy.

Uh, yes, Fred.

Eh, take this luggage
to room 402.

(Barney)
'Right, Fred.'

'Ooh! Aah! Umph!'

(Barney)
Okay, Fred.
Is that all?

(Fred)
'Yeah, Barney.
I'll handle the rest of it.'

(Barney)
Thanks, Fred.
You are a real pal.

They tell me Conrad Hailstone
started this way.

(Stonyface)
'Doris, you take station five.'

'Gloria, you take
station three.'

And, you new girls,
take station one and two.

Where I can keep an eye on you.

- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.

Now, there's no need
to be nervous.

We can't help it, sir.

We've never waited
on a table before.

In fact, this is the first job
we've ever had.

Well, there is nothing to it.
I'm sure you girls will..

Uh-oh. Wrong door, Doris.

I'm sorry.

You girls, watch that too.

Remember, accidents begin

when in is used for out
and out is used for in.

'Remember that, and you'll
avoid accidents.'

(together)
Yes, sir.

Excuse me, Mr. Stonyface.

(Doris)
'You're wanted in the kitchen.'

Thank you.

toing

thud thump

(together)
Remember, in the kitchen
through in

out, through out.

[laughing]

toing

cuckcoo cuckcoo cuckcoo

poing

It's not really 3 o'clock.

I just got hungry.

slam

How is it going, Betty?

Swell.

Just remember, in the kitchen
through in

Yeah, and out means out.

crash

[gasping]

We know.

Accidents begin when
in is used for out.

And out is used for in.

Hey, uh,
lets hurry, huh, Fred.

We don't wanna waste
our afternoon off.

Take it easy, Barney.

We got till 6 o'clock.

And we wanna look
our best, don't we?

In case we meet
some beautiful rich girls

who will take a shine to us.

Yeah, oh, that would be nice.

Of course, I wouldn't mind
having a beautiful poor girl

take a shine to me neither.

There ain't no such creature
around here, Barn.

This hotel is the playground
of the wealthy.

That it is, Fred.

That it is.

Ouch!

I washed it this morning
and I can't do a thing with it.

- 'Your hair?'
- No, my comb.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ho!

Come on, let's go.

[instrumental music]

Betty, we only have
till 6 o'clock.

Are you gonna spend our whole
afternoon off admiring yourself?

Now, Wilma, I just want
to be sure I look alright.

Suppose, I run into a rich
handsome young man.

- Betty.
- The woods are full of them.

And maybe one of them might
succumb to my obvious charms.

Betty Jean McBricker,
what kind of talk is that?

But if you should happen to meet
a rich handsome young man.

I hope you'll remember
to do one thing.

What?

Ask him if he's
got a friend for me.

Oh, Wilma.

[chuckling]

Shall we go?

If you can tear yourself away
from...yourself, yes.

What do we do
this afternoon, Fred?

I don't know, Barney.

But it'll have to be something
that doesn't take any money.

- I'm broke.
- Yeah, me too.

crash

crash

wham

wham

crash

Uh, having trouble, mister?

I certainly am.

I wonder if you'd be a good lad
and park this for me.

I just don't seem
to have the knack.

Uh, sure.

Wow! That'd be jolly.

Here is a little something
for your trouble.

Thanks, mister.

Fifty bucks.

Gee, thanks, mister.
Thanks.

Barney, he gave me fifty bucks.
He must be rich.

Oh, yes, Fred, in-doub-tebly.

That's Reggie Roxon Rocks.
The multi-multi-millionaire.

That's a multi-multi
millionaire.

Boy, what a cheapskate he is.

[instrumental music]

That's how the other half
lives, Betty.

It wouldn't be
too hard to take.

But we are lucky, just to be
working in a place like this.

You're right.

Say...look at that car.

(Wilma)
'Isn't it a beauty?'

(Betty)
'Oh, it's dreamy.'

Look, real cave bear interior
and every thing.

Wilma, what are you doing?

Mmm.

I just want to see how it feels
to sit in a car like this.

You know something?

- What?
- It feels pretty good.

Say, look at the turkey horn.

Honk.

Isn't that something?

Honk.

H-o-o-o..

Uh-oh! Uh-oh, now you did it.

(both)
'The horn's stuck.'

Let go the string,
Let go the string.

H-o-o-o..

snap

[panting]

These peasants.

There's a space at the other
end of the parking lot.

Yeah, watch me whip her in.

Uh-oh, here comes someone.

Let's get out
before they see us.

Too late.

Wow, what a beautiful girl.

(Barney)
'Man, oh, manny!
She's something.'

And look at that car, they must
be millionaire's daughters.

Think so?

I know so, I can spot
the real thing a mile away.

Look at that car.

They must be
sons of millionaires.

Yeah, say, the little one's
kinda cute.

What's that on
the big one's face?

That's his nose.

Oh.

He he he.

I hope you don't mind my parking
next to your beautiful car?

Oh this car isn't--

This car is,
is beautiful as your car.

Oh this car isn't--

This car isn't that beautiful.

I, uh, guess you girls
are staying at the hotel, eh?

Well..

(Barney)
'That's a silly question, Fred.'

Where else would millionaire's
daughters be staying?

(Wilma)
'Are you boys
staying at the hotel?'

Well..

Naturally, Wilma.

Where else would millionaire's
sons be staying?

[all laughing]

Hey, it's nice meetin' you.
My name is Fred Flintstone

and this is Barney Rubble.

Pleased to meet you.

I'm Wilma
and this is my friend Betty.

How do you do?

How would you girls
like to see a movie?

There's a great picture
showing in town

"One Million B.C."

It's all about life
in the future.

- Well--
- We'd love to, see it.

(Fred)
'Well, good. Let's go.'

Hey, how are we gonna get
to town, uh..

I mean whose car
are we taking?

I just assume, it wasn't mine.
I'm so bored with driving?

You know something, so am I.

The way things are

I'll probably never
drive that car again.

I'll tell you what, let's do
like the poor people do, walk.

What a novel, idea.
I hope I haven't forgotten how.

I got a better idea,
let's take the bus.

Hey, ya, ya.

It will give us a chance to see
how the other half lives.

[all laughing]

Boy, oh, boy.

Did you ever hear
so much baloney

being sliced up
and tossed around?

It just goes to prove
what I've always said.

People are phony.

What business
did you say you were in, Fred?

I, ah, we're in the,
leather business.

We handle ladies
in Gentlemen's Luggage.

Oh, that's nice.

And how is business?

Well, not bad.
Not bad at all.

'In fact, you might say,
it keeps us hopping.'

Yeah, yeah, bell hopping.

He he he.

ding ding ding

Uh-oh! Here comes the bus.

All, aboard.

This one is on me.

Take it out of this.

A $50 bill?

'Sorry, it's
the smallest I got.'

'And while you're at it, Take
an extra dime for yourself.'

Thanks, Mac.

ting ting

(man on screen)
'Yes, Pamela,
I have deceived you.'

'I could be masquerading
as a man of wealth"'

'While I am really just
an employee at the golf club.'

(woman on screen)
'If that is true,
you are nothing but a cad.'

(man on screen)
'No, Pamela,
not a cad, a caddie.'

'I'm sorry, my dear,
how you must despise me.'

(woman on screen)
'Then I too have a confession.'

'I am not a Duchess.'

(man on screen)
'What?'

(woman on screen)
'I work in a bakery.'

'I am a jellyist.'

(man on screen)
'A jellyist?'

(woman on screen)
'Yes. I put the jelly
in the jelly doughnuts.'

(man on screen)
'Pamela, Pamela,
Pamela, how could you?'

tick tick tick

"And though I met Fred
only a week ago.

"I feel I've known him
all my life.

"He's so kind and sweet.

tick tick tick

"I don't know how
I'm ever going to tell him

I'm not
a millionaire's daughter."

Wilma, you better hurry.

The dining room
opens in a few minutes.

Okay, okay.
I'm writing my mother.

'I told her, I think
I'm in love with Fred.'

I wrote my mother
the same thing about Barney.

Oh, Betty.
What are we going to do?

We can't go on this way.

I know, I know.

But if we tell them
we're not heiresses

it will be all over between us.

Millionaires stick to their
own kind, you know.

I know.

I wish they were poor,
like us.

"Masquerade party,
Wednesday evening."

Hah! I wish we could take
the girls to that party.

Oh, forget it, Barney.

We're working Wednesday evening.
It's impossible.

Yeah, I know.

Fred, how long can we go on
deceiving those nice girls?

I don't know.

But if we tell them we're only
bellhops and not millionaires.

Its goodbye Charlie.

Yeah, that's for sure.

And I flipped over that, Betty.

I wish the boys
would invite us

to the big masquerade party
Wednesday night.

So do I.

But stop wishing,
we're working that night.

(Betty)
'Yeah, I know.'

crackle

They used to think
we little dragons

weren't good for anything.

Just think, Wilma.

If you were to marry Fred.
You'd never have to iron again.

No, I suppose not.

Expect may be his money.

You know
to keep it fresh and crisp.

[chuckling]

knock knock knock

(Wilma)
'Come in.'

'Mother.'

My baby.

Oops, Watch out
for my live alligator bag.

Sometimes it snaps.

Hello, Mrs. Slaghoople.

Hello, Betty dear.

Mother what are you
doing here?

(Mrs. Slaghoople)
'I came to meet this
Fred Flintstone of yours.'

And see if he is really
as wonderful as you say.

(Wilma)
'He is, mother.'

But when he finds out,
I've deceived him

he'll probably board his yacht
and sail out of my life forever.

And Barney will do
the same thing to me.

Oh, gosh!

If those boys really love you,
they'll understand.

Now, my advice to you girls
is to tell the boys the truth.

After all,
being poor is no crime.

If it were, Wilma,
your father would be

public enemy number one.

You're mother's right, Wilma.
We've got to tell the boys.

We'll tell them tonight.
When we see them after work.

You are working tonight?

Yes, the whole town is having
a big masquerade party

and asked us to help out.

Oh, well.
I'll go down and register.

I'll see you girls later.

Okay, mother.

You know I can hardly wait
to meet your millionaire.

He feels like
a son to me already.

And it's not because he's rich.

I'd love him
if he didn't have a dime.

Fine thing, here I am
with a date after work tonight

and I haven't a dime.

Cheer up, Fred.

I got a hunch this is gonna
be a good night for us.

ding ding ding

Front, boy.

He-hey, that's you, Fred.

Looks like, you got
a big tipper, eh?

Oh, boy, that's just
what I need.

Show the lady to room 313.

Yes, sir.

Don't bother, sonny,
I can handle it.

Oh, it's no bother, ma'am,
I'm here to be your service.

Let go! I'm perfectly capable
of taking my own suitcase.

(Fred)
'Ma'am, I can't let
an old lady like you'

'carry this bag up
three flights of stairs.'

Old lady?
Why, I could carry you

and this bag up three flight
of stairs. Now, let go!

But, ma'am..

thud

Now, look at
what you've done.

You knuckle head.

I'm awfully sorry, ma'am.

Just wait till my future
son-in-law hears about this.

'He'll have your job.'

Well, he'd be a fool to take it.
The pay is terrible.

- Here, let me help you.
- Keep your paws off my things!

If you come near me again

I'll forget I'm a lady
and belt you one.

Sounds like, the guests
are having a great time

at the masquerade party, Fred.

Yeah.
You know, Barney.

Wilma, ought to be
in there having fun.

Yeah, and Betty too.

They didn't go because

we told 'em we couldn't go
on account of business.

We got to tell
the girls the truth.

So they can forget us

and enjoy life
with other millionaires.

Yeah, you're right, Fred.

If it wasn't for us
acting like a couple of phonies.

The girls would be enjoying
that party right now.

[jazz music]

Cigars, cigarettes.
Cigars, cigarettes.

Um, no thanks,
I already have some.

Oh, hi, Betty.
How are you doing?

Well, I've sold three cigars,
and two packages of cigarettes.

Had a proposal
from one gentleman

and gotten dirty looks
from most of the ladies.

How are you doing?

Ah-ah-ahchoo!

Now, I'm catching cold,
that's how I'm doing.

Some costumes they gave us.

A little more material
and I'd have a bikini.

No, sir. I haven't seen
Mr. Roxon Rocks all day.

Yes, I'll have him paged.

- Oh, boy.
- 'Yes sir.'

(Stonyface)
'Page Mr. Roxon Rocks,
long distance call.'

Yes, sir.

He's probably
at the party, Fred.

Okay, Barn.

Paging Mr. Roxon Rocks.

(Fred)
'Call for Mr. Roxon Rocks!'

Call for Mr. Roxon Rocks.

Wow, what a party.

Hey, Fred, you can quit paging
Mr. Roxon Rocks.

they found him.

Thanks, Barney.

Say, look at all
the gorgeous girls.

I don't wanna look at all
the gorgeous girls, Fred.

I just wanna look
at my gorgeous Betty.

Look, its Betty and Wilma!

- There's Barney.
- And Fred.

- Well, what are you doing here?
- Yeah, what are you doing here?

[both babbling]

- It's a long story.
- 'Yeah.'

Hey, I like those costumes
you girls are wearing.

Yeah, that's an original idea
dressing as cigarette girls.

Ha-ha.
Thanks.

But what about you two
masquerading as bellboys.

That's even more original.

[instrumental music]

Wilma, will you
dance with me?

Dance?

But uh,
I don't think I should.

I know, I shouldn't.
But I want to. Come on.

Monkey see,
monkey do.

Monkey do.

Oh, Fred. I wish this dance
could go on forever.

Wilma, honey. There-there's
something I got to tell you.

There is?

Well, there's something
I got to tell you too.

Okay, honey, you first.

No, Freddie,
after you.

Well, remember the day we met,
in the parking lot?

Well..

(Stonyface)
'Well, I hope
you're enjoying yourselves.'

(both)
Mr. Stonyface.

Since when do I pay bellboys
to dance with cigarette girls?

A bell boy.

A cig-ga-rette girl?

Oh, hiya, Mr. Stonyface.

Nice party you got here.
Ya, ya, Mr. Stonyface!

Alright, all of you, out, out!
You're fired.

Fired?

Fired!

You can dance your way
to the unemployment office.

Now, out, out, out.

I'll never forget
the hurt look on Fred's face

when I said goodbye forever.

And good riddance.
That phony millionaire.

Mother, I was just as dishonest
with Fred, as he was with me.

Besides, I still love him.

And I love Barney.

And I'll never see him again.

Wilma, look.

(Wilma)
'Mother, stop.'

screech

bang

(Mrs. Slaghoople)
'Now, look
and I haven't got a spare.'

I tell you, that
Fred Flintstone is a jinx.

- Barney.
- Fred.

- Yeah, Betty.
- Yeah, Wilma

You wouldn't just walk by

and leave us
stranded here, would you?

Of course not, Wilma.

I'll have you
on your way in a jiffy.

See, mother, Fred said he would
get us on our way and he did.

Isn't he wonderful?

Oh, Barney. Let's never deceive
each other again.

It's a deal, honey.

mwah

And we'll never have
secrets, will we, Fred?

(Fred)
'Never, Wilma.'

'From now on,
it's nothing but the truth.'

Come on, Fred.
Faster, faster!

Okay, mother,
but take it easy.

The speed limit's only
30 miles an hour around here.

[everyone laughing]

Yep, that sure was
a wonderful summer

at Honeyrock Hotel.

And the best part of all
was meeting you, sweetheart.

Oh, Barney.
You're so sweet.

mwah

Fred, What was the nicest part
of the summer for you?

Well, now, let me think.

Well..

'I remember, when you're mother
finally got a spare wheel.'

Oh, Fred.

For a son-in-law,
you get it?

[both laughing]

Oh, Fred.

mwah

mwah

[both giggling]

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're a modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday maybe Fred
will win the fight

And that cat will stay
out for the night

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

You'll have a gay old time

thud

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!