The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 21 - Foxy Grandma - full transcript

To avoid his mother-in-law being a helper for the house, Fred tries out many maids with little success. However, on a ride on town, a somewhat innocent old maid proposes to Fred to be their in-house maid. However, little he knows that this lady is a criminal called "Grandma Dynamite" who steals banks with dynamite sticks. And he learns it the hard way when he goes on an errant with her and her hunky grandson...

Hey, hey,
stop the car.

Let me out.

or I'll blast you!

But he ain't got
a driver's license!

He could get us
into trouble.

We've got company,

All right, coppers!

Try this one
on for size!



meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time


It's absolutely
amazing, Barney.

Just look
at Fred work.

Yeah. Ever since
he found out

Wilma's going
to have a baby,

He's been
a regular dynamo,

Cutting the lawn,
trimming the hedges--

All the things
Wilma used to do.

just so she can relax

In her delicate

Yeah, it's like
I always said, Betty,

It takes a baby to make
a husband a father.

I wonder whether my work
would be done for me

If I had a baby.

Gee, I don't know,

Looks like Fred's got
his hands full now.

Hee hee hee hee!

[Humming "rock-A-Bye, baby"]

And just what do you
think you're doing?

I'm going to
wash the dishes.

Oh, no, you're not.

The doctor said
for you to take it easy,

And that's just what
you're going to do.

But, Fred,
washing a few dishes

Isn't going
to hurt me.

Honey, there will be plenty
of work for you to do

After the baby arrives.

Until then,
I do the housework

And you don't
lift a finger.

Now go on into
the living room

And relax.

Well, all right, Fred.

But I hope you know what
you're getting into.

Of course I know,

Water, egbert.
Fill her up.

Wilma, where's
the soap powder?

under the sink.

Ok, thanks.

I don't see
no soap powder.

I can't find it.
It ain't here, Wilma.

[Wilma] Fred?


Oh, Fred, here it is.

Please, Fred,
let me do the--

Wilma, we have been
through this.

I'm taking care
of the household chores.


No "buts."

Now give me the soap,

And out of the kitchen
like a good little girl.

Well, all right.

Remember, Wilma,
with all the experience

I had when I was
in the army,

I'm an expert
on kitchen duty.

Oh, no! No!
Turn it off, egbert!

Turn it off!



Fred, what on earth
are you doing?

Look at that mess.

I-I'm sorry, Wilma,

But accidents
will happen, you know.

Don't worry,
I'll clean it up

As soon as you leave
the kitchen.

Now be careful. Don't step
on those broken dishes.

Oh, Wilma,
I know better than that.

Ouch! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

Ooh! Wilma! Ow! Ow!

I know you're trying
to help, Fred, dear,

And I love you for it,

But you can't do
the housework.

Let's call my mother.

No, absolutely not,

And don't start
that again.

But, Fred--

I'll go to
an employment agency

And hire a professional

You're being very unfair
to mother, Fred.

She's never done you
any harm.

She's never done me
any good either.

And you know something?
I can't remember

Her ever saying
anything nice to me.

I can't either,

And I got a memory
like an elephant.

[Telephone rings]

bedrock employment agency.

We help help get help.

What? You want
a silent butler?

The one you have
talks too much?

Just a moment, please.
I'll check our lists.

So this is
an employment agency, huh?

I never knew
such a thing existed, Fred.

Where did you think
people went

When they're
out of work?

To the unemployment office.
Hee hee hee hee!


now, what can I do
for you, uh...


I'd like to hire
a housekeeper, miss, uh...

I'm miss keystone.

You've come
to the right place,

Mister, uh...


Did you have

Special in mind,
mr. Flintstone?

Oh, no. I ain't fussy.

I just want one
that will cook and sew,

And iron
and clean the house,

Wash the windows,

Polish the furniture,
do the shopping,

Mow the lawn--

You know,
just take over

Some of the duties
of a wife.

Yeah, and I'd like her
to live in.

Oh, don't worry, Fred,
she will.

After all that work,

Who's going to have
the strength to go home?

Oh, quiet.

Ziegfried, send in
our available housekeepers.


Ziegfried, send in

Our available housekeepers.

Ok, will do.


Ok, will do.

They'll be right out.

[Door opens]

Ah! Here they are now.

Girls, this is
mr. Flintstone.

He's looking
for a housekeeper.

Fred: hello, girls.

This is peaches,
bubbles, and Bertha.

mr. Flintstone.

Uh...h-Hello, bertha.

[Miss keystone]
all the girls come

Very highly recommended,
mr. Flintstone., uh...

how are you
at housework, bertha?

What's that?

It don't matter.
You're hired.

Hey, Fred, Fred.
Whoa, boy, steady, now.

What about Wilma?


Wilma--Your wife.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I'll take peaches.

Welcome back
to planet earth, Fred.

It's just the old story,

Beauty versus brains.

His wife would take
one look at your beauty

And knock his brains out.

Hee hee hee hee!

[Fred imitating Barney]
hee hee hee hee.

Good morning,

Good morning, dear.


What are you
doing dusting?

Where's peaches?

In the kitchen
having breakfast.

Well, when she gets

Let her do
the dusting.

I don't want you
lifting a finger.

Fred, about peaches--

Tell me later,
will you, sweetheart?

I've got to have
my breakfast

And get to work.

Good morning, peaches.
I'm ready for breakfast.

Well, bully for you.


well, uh, uh,
just stay where you are.

I'll get it myself.

Hey, what happened
to all the food?

I filled this icebox
just last night.

Well, you better
fill it again

Before lunch,
mr. Flintstone.

My deal calls for
3 square meals a day.

Did you have
any breakfast, Wilma?

Oh, yes. I nibbled
on half a biscuit.

Half a biscuit?!

Dog biscuit,
that is.

That's all I could
get away from dino.

Now wait a minute!
That ain't right!

I agree with you,
mr. Flintstone.

She needs plenty
of nourishment now.

After all,
she's eating for two.


Listen, peaches, I hired you
to take care of my house,

Not to eat me out of it!

Look, a wishbone.

Let's see who gets
their wish.

I'm talking to you.

Which end do you want,

The one with
a little meat on it.

Go on, dearie. Let's see
how strong you are.

Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh!


[Fred mumbling]

Fred, what happened?

What are you bringing
the icebox in here for?

So peaches can't eat it.

It's just about the only
thing in the kitchen

She hasn't sunk
her teeth in.

let me call mother.

No! Positively no!

Hello. Bedrock
employment agency?

This is
Fred Flintstone.


"F" as in "famished."

Is miss keystone there?

It's about changing

Tell her I want to swap
peaches for bubbles.

When? Right now!

Ha ha ha!

Well, anyway, I got
the icebox filled again.

[Wilma] oh, Fred.


[Woman] it's 5:00,

Up, up, up.


Hmm? What?
Who's there?

Time to get up,
mrs. Flintstone.

I want to wash
the bed linen

And get it out to dry
before it rains.

Oh. Oh, yeah.
Good thinking, bubbles.

Come on, mr. Flintstone.
Rise and shine.

I don't want
to go to school.

What? Where am I?

Oh, oh. What time is it?

It's 5:00, and I'm already
5 minutes behind schedule.


Now that I'm up,

I might as well
take my shower.

Be careful,
mr. Flintstone.

I just waxed
the bathroom floor.



What did you say, bubbles?

I said, "be careful,
mr. Flintstone.

I just waxed
the bathroom floor."

Oh! My aching back!

Oh, good morning,

"Good morning.
Good morning," she says.

Ooh! That bubbles
is a prize.

Gets us up at 5:00.

Waxes the bathroom floor
so I nearly break my neck.

What's good about it?

Fred, sit down and taste

The pterodactyl egg
souffle she made.

It's out of this world.

Oh, yeah?
That's for me.

Mmm! Man,
this is really something!

Boy, what flavor!

[Bubbles] well,
still eating, folks?

I've got to get
these dishes washed.

I'm way behind schedule.

Hey, I'm just starting!

I'll let the dishes soak

While I get at the living room,
mrs. Flintstone.

Wah wah!
I'm hungry!

You can stop off
on your way to work

And grab a bite, Fred.

That does it!

I can't sleep!
I can't eat!

And I can't take
any more of bubbles!

She has got to go!

Good. I'll call mother.

Oh, no, you don't!

But, Fred,
you can't seem to find

The right housekeeper.

I'll find her.
I'll find her.

Somewhere in the world,

There must be
a housekeeper for us.

Now, wait right here,

I'll be right back.

Uh, yeah, grandma,
I'll wait.

"Second national bank.

Assets $2,500,000.63."

Ha ha ha!

Good day, ma'am.

Uh, can you help
a helpless little old lady?

Oh, certainly.
Oh, dear me.

All right, buster.

Fill this with some
nice, fresh money,

Or I'll blow
this joint sky-High.

grandma dynamite!

Right! Say, you ought
to go on "guess my line."

Come on, come on,

My fuse finger's
getting itchy.

All right.
All right.

Don't blow me up!

Oops. "Assets $2,500,000--"


Assets now 63 cents.

Hee hee hee!

Ok, sonny, let's go!

[Car engine]

Stop her!
It's grandma dynamite!

Help! Police!

[Man] extra! Grandma dynamite
strikes again!

[Second man] extra! Extra!
Grandma dynamite still at it!

[Police radio]
calling all cars.

Be on lookout
for grandma dynamite.

She's robbed the first,
the second,

And the third
national banks.

Wonder where she'll
strike next, joe.

The fourth national bank.
Where else?

[Man] holdup! Holdup!

It's grandma dynamite!
She's getting away!

Stop, thief!

Help! Police!

She's heading
for that car!

or I'll blast you!

[Grandma dynamite]
get going, sonny!

Oh, yes, sonny,

I got to find me
a new hideout.

Yeah. Oh, say,

Why don't you come and
stay at my place, grandma?

I got lots of room.

Thanks, sonny,

But I don't think
I'd be comfortable

At the y.M.C.A.

So if I don't find
a housekeeper by 6:00,

Wilma's going
to call her mother.

Well, you got 22 minutes.

I can just hear
Wilma saying,

"It was a tough fight,
mom, but I won."

Hee hee hee hee!

Yeah. I don't know why

It should be so hard
to find a housekeeper.

The pay is good.

She has her own
comfortable room

Where nobody
disturbs her--

Excuse me, boys.

Could you tell me where
I could find work

As a housekeeper?

Well, you could try
the employment agency

Or put an ad
in the paper,

Right, Fred?

Yeah. Or maybe
you could--


a housekeeper?

The best.

Lady, you've been
sent from heaven!

You can work for me.

Well, I don't know.

Oh, please, lady!

You'll have good food,
good pay, easy hours,

Huh, Barney?

Easy hours is right.
In fact,

You could call them
banker's hours.

Banker's hours!

Well, now you're
talking my language.

And besides, you remind me
of my own dear sonny.

Let's go.

Well, one minute to 6:00.

I guess Fred didn't
find a housekeeper,

And I can go ahead
and call mother.

Go ahead.

At a time like this,
a girl needs her mother.


[Fred] hold the phone!

Wilma, honey, meet, uh...

meet...I'm sorry.
I don't know your name.

Well, just call me...


Wilma, this is dyna...

our new housekeeper.

How do you do?

How do you do?

This is our neighbor--
Mrs. Rubble.

to meet you.

our search is over.

Dyna's going to be
perfect for us.

We've been looking
for you a long time.

Yeah? So have
a lot of people.

Now, if you'll just
show me to my room.

Sure. This way.
I'll take your luggage.

I'll break your arm!


I mean--I mean,
I can carry it.

Excuse me, ladies.

I have a lot
of on-The-Job planning to do.

Boy, this is a perfect setup
to operate from.

Let's see.

What's the target for today?


Great! They're delivering
lots of nice, new money

To the fifth national bank

Where it will be nice and safe.

Hee hee hee! I'd better
put in a call to sonny.

I'll use my shawl.



There it is. There's
good old grandma's signal.

It says...

which means,
"bank day today.

Love, grandma."

Ha ha ha!

Good morning, dyna.

[Grandma dynamite]
good morning, ma'am.

is all ready.

What's with
the suitcase?

Are you expecting
to leave in a hurry?

It's my lucky charm,
mrs. Flintstone.

Some people carry
a rabbit's foot.

I carry a suitcase.

good morning, ladies.

good morning, Fred.

Good morning,
mr. Flintstone.

Your cactus juice
is on the table.

Oh, thank you, dyna.



What's the matter,

No cream.

She didn't put any cream
in my cactus juice.

I'll get it.

Shall I make some toast,
mrs. Flintstone?

please, dyna.

Yes, ma'am.

Boy, you've got
some crust!

Unh! Unh!

What's wrong
with this icebox?

It's stuck.

[Grandma dynamite]
oh, just a minute,

Mr. Flintstone,
I'll open it for you!

Stand back, everybody!

look out, Fred!

I'm looking!
I'm looking!


[Grandma dynamite]
didn't even crack an eggshell.

You can get your cream now,
mr. Flintstone.

[Knock on door]

Oh, that's
the front door.

I'll get it.
I think it's for me.

Are you sure

It was a park
you met her in

And not a minefield?

All right, so she acts
a little peculiar.

But I'd still rather
have her as housekeeper

- Than your mother.
- Come in, sonny,

And say hello
to the nice people.

Uh, hello, nice people.

Folks, this is
my only grandson--

Come to visit me.

Hello, sonny.

You sure you only
got one grandson?

He looks like more
than one to me.

Sonny's going to drive
his poor old grandma

To the market,
aren't you, sonny dear?

I'm afraid I can't,

Why not?

My driving license

It would be against the law
for me to drive.

Oh, dear,
and I had my heart set

On picking up some
nice, fresh lettuce.

Well, I'll drive you,

I have to go
to town anyway.

Oh, mr. Flintstone,
you are a dear.

Sonny, I hope
you'll be like him

When you grow up.

Nice car
you got here,

Mr. Flintstone.
How fast will it go?

Oh, it should do 80
in a pinch.

Well, that's when you
want a car to go fast--

In a pinch, eh, sonny?
Hee hee hee!


[Brakes squeal]

What's the matter?

We're here.

Yeah, but this
isn't the market.

It's the bank.

Really? Oh, well,
now that we've stopped,

I'll just go in and see
if my money is safe.

You wait here
and keep that motor running.

Your granny picked
a swell bank

To save money in.

They got a wonderful
christmas club here.


Yeah, your grandmother
ought to join it.

You know, once she puts
her money in,

She can't get it out
before christmas.

Uh, you want to bet?

[Man] help! Police!

[Woman] - It's a holdup!
- What's going on?

It sounds like the bank
is being robbed!

Come on! Get moving!

Uh...grandma dynamite!

You heard her,

Get moving.

Step on it, sonny!

[Police siren]

Hey, hey,
stop the car.

Let me out.

or I'll blast you!

But he ain't got
a driver's license.

He could get us
into trouble.

We've got company,

All right, coppers!

Try this one on
for size!

Take the next turnoff,

Uh, ok.

[Grandma dynamite]
all right, sonny,

Back to the hideout.

[Sonny] ok, fatso,
in you go.


what's going on?

they're bank robbers.

She's grandma dynamite,
wanted in 6 states.

7 states,
but who's counting?

I guess we lost
those coppers,

All right, eh, sonny?

We sure did,

We're staying here
till the heat's off.

Now behave yourself,
you two,

And maybe
you won't get hurt.

You can't scare us,
you horrid woman!

Oh, Fred,
do something!

Yeah. Yeah,
I'll do something.

Dyna, you're fired!

Hee hee hee!

[Knock on door]

Answer that,
mrs. Flintstone,

But ask who it is.

Who is it?

[Woman] it's me--
Your mother!

It's my mother.

[Grandma dynamite]
don't let her in!

Say, you've got
your good side

After all.

[Wilma] Fred!
Of course I'll let her in.

Mother, am I glad
to see you!

Wilma, baby.

All right,
mrs. Flintstone,

Quit gabbing
and close the door!

Who are these people?

[Grandma dynamite]
never mind who we are.

Just sit down
and be quiet.

bank robbers

And they're holding
us prisoners.

Are you serious?

Fred, what are you
doing about this?

What are you,
a man or a--

You talk too much.

Sit down
and shut your trap.

Don't you talk
to my mother

Like that!

Yeah, now you're
going too far.


So I'm going
to bop you one.

Why, you big brute!

How dare you manhandle
my son-In-Law!

Open the door, Wilma,

So I can put out
the trash.

Yes, mother.

Ok, mother.


keep the door open, Wilma.

I got another load of trash!

All right, grandma.
You're next!

No, no, no!

I've seen enough.
I'm going.


I forgot my luggage.

[Door slams]

I don't think they'll
bother you again, Wilma.

Oh, you were wonderful,

Yes. Well, maybe
I'll take a little nap,

Then freshen up
for dinner.

Where's my suitcase?
Oh, there it is.



[Wilma] Fred,
are you all right?

Oh, my aching back!

He'll be all right,

He must be tired
from all that activity.

Yes, I guess so.

It's the car used
in the bank robbery,

All right.

Grandma dynamite
must be in there.

Hey, she's
mighty dangerous.

Let's sneak in
the back way.

Well, I'll unpack first
and then relax a little.

Good heavens!
It's full of money!

Must be more
than $1 million!


It's grandma dynamite,
all right.

We got her
with the goods.

So, when I saw

How dyna opened
the icebox with dynamite,

I knew she wasn't
the housekeeper for us,

And I called mother.

Ha ha ha.

I'm glad you did.

I guess that's why
I married you, Wilma,

Because you always know
what's best for us.

Do you think
your mother will stay

Until the baby is born?

Of course. Nothing
could drag her away.

I tell you,
you're making a mistake.

I haven't stolen anything.

I want my lawyer.
You can't get away with this.

I'm a taxpayer!

I'll have you

Your flat feet
in flat rock

If it's
the last thing I do!

I tell you,

You're making
a mistake.

I haven't
stolen anything!

meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone-Age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time