The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 20 - Mother-In-Law's Visit - full transcript
Wilma's mother, Mrs Slaghoople, comes to greet her daughter since she learns she is pregnant. Fred must repeat himself that "he loves his mother-in-law" in order not to get into a fight with her. However, in the meanwhile, Fred must find a way to get money to purchase a crib for the baby. Barney suggests to take a part-time job as a cab driver. Seeing his son-in-law leaving for the evening, Mrs. Slaghoople suspects Fred of fooling around instead of taking care of Wilma. She happens to take a cab in which a disguised Fred is on the wheels...
Here's the evening paper,
mother-In-Law, dear.
You read it first.
Take my chair,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I will sit on a box.
But I insist,
mother-In-Law, dear.
You take
the biggest steak.
Fred, I want
to thank you
For being so nice
to mother.
I'm trying, Wilma.
I'm trying hard.
I know, dear,
And I think you're
winning her over.
I sure hope so.
[Crash]
Why don't you look
Where you're going,
clumsy?
I'm sorry,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I didn't expect you
to stick your foot out.
I love my mother-In-Law.
I love my mother-In-Law.
[Squawk]
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
Of Fred's two feet
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Hey, Fred, why are you
leaving the freeway?
I know a shortcut
To the other
highway, Barney.
A shortcut?
But you're headed
for the river.
Relax, Barney-Boy.
[Splash]
No, Fred, we'll sink.
Stop worrying.
See? We didn't sink.
But don't just
sit there, Barney.
Tread water.
Oh. Okay.
Ha ha ha ha!
This is one time
Your big feet
came in handy, Barn.
Ha ha.
Yeah,
look who's talking.
There. That wasn't
so bad, was it?
No, not so bad,
If you don't
count him.
Some shortcut,
huh, Barney-Boy?
There. Now we're
on the back road.
What's all the rush
to get home, Fred?
Well, Wilma's going
to be a mother soon.
It's my duty
as the daddy
To be home with her
as much as possible.
What are you staring
at me for?
Well, Fred, I, uh,
I was just trying to
picture you as a daddy,
But it's no use.
You're just not
the type. Ha ha!
What do you mean
I'm not the type?
Well, gee, Fred,
no offense,
But fathers
are supposed to be kind,
Considerate, thoughtful,
And you strike out on
all three, freddy boy.
What'd you stop here
for, Fred?
Get out of this car!
You're kidding, Fred.
Out, out, out!
See? That's just
what I mean, Fred.
You're not kind,
considerate, thoughtful.
You're just not
the daddy type.
I tell you what
I'll do, Fred.
I'll help you.
You can practice
being nice on me.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay, Barney.
I'm sorry.
I'll be kind,
considerate,
And thoughtful
of you.
Now, if you two have
Patched up your
little spat,
Would you please
move on?
You're blocking
traffic!
[Horns honking]
Yes, sir, officer, sir.
Yes, sir.
Hi, Wilma.
May I come in?
Of course, Betty.
I'm in the kitchen.
I was just going to
peek and see
If the lobster
is cooked.
Down, boy.
Down, down.
It's not quite
done yet.
I'll say.
Wilma, do you think
you should be cooking
And doing housework
in your, um...condition?
Betty,
I'm feeling fine.
And Fred's a dear.
He's been doing
the cleaning.
- Fred?
- Yes.
And picking up
and putting away
His things.
That cuts a woman's
work in half.
[Tires screech]
Sounds like
the boys are home.
So I hear.
See you later, Wilma.
Okay, Betty.
Hi, Betty.
Wilma okay?
Little old mama-To-Be
is just fine,
O big daddy-To-Be.
[Giggles]
Hee hee hee.
Boy, that Betty
and Barney.
What a screwball couple.
[Arr arr arr]
No, no, dino! No!
No! Dino, stop!
Stop it, boy! Ha ha!
Cut it out!
Oh, knock it off,
you two.
Why, Fred,
you brought me flowers.
No, Wilma. That's
a present for the baby.
Go ahead.
Open it.
A baseball bat?
Isn't that a dandy?
I'm going to teach junior
to be a ballplayer.
Who knows?
Maybe he'll turn out to be
One of those bonus babies
you read about.
Oh, Fred...
yes, sweetheart?
Supposing--
Just supposing--
Yeah? Yeah?
Supposing junior
turns out to be
A little girl.
Great! Thank heaven
for little girls...
who might make
the big league someday.
[Telephone rings]
I'll get it, Fred.
Hello?
I can't hear you.
Would you speak
louder, please?
That's better.
Who? Oh, mother!
Oh, no!
Tell her to stay home!
No visitors allowed.
The place
is quarantined,
Out of bounds,
off-Limits!
You can hear
old loud what, mother?
Oh, old loudmouth.
Heh heh. Mother's
only kidding, Fred.
Well, I'm not kidding.
Tell her to stay home.
Mother hasn't
said a word
About coming here.
Not yet, she hasn't,
but she will.
Oh, that's good,
mother.
Your plane
arrives at 5:00,
Bedrock airport.
I told you.
I told you!
Fred will be there
to meet you, mother. Bye.
Fred, I want
this silly feud
Between you
and mother stopped.
Instead of hating
mother,
Tell yourself
you like her.
Ha! That's a hot one.
Fred, if you thought
Anything of me,
you'd try it.
Hmm. Maybe Wilma's right.
Maybe it is my attitude.
Why, I could
give it a try.
I like
my mother-In-Law.
There. I said it.
It wasn't easy,
but I said it.
I'm on my way
to the airport
To meet
my dear mother-In-Law.
I'm on my way to
the airport.
I love my mother-In-Law,
the darling.
Ah, here we are.
Bedrock airport.
I love my dear,
sweet mother-In-Law.
My mother-In-Law
is a doll.
I love my dear,
sweet mother-In-Law.
My mother-In-Law
is a--
Are you feeling
alright, mister?
Huh? Yeah, yeah.
I'm okay.
Good. Good.
You just stay in here
and rest.
That hot sun outside
is a killer.
Poor guy. He must have been
standing in it for hours.
[Deep voice on p.A.]
Attention.
Flight 36
now arriving
From rock creek,
arrowhead, and stone ax.
Passengers will exit
at gate 8.
[Nasal voice]
oh, if my voice only
Sounded like that
for real.
Here comes
mother's plane.
I hope it makes
a nice, smooth landing.
Boy, look at
that wingspread.
Keep its nose up!
Keep its nose up!
[Crash]
Boy, how smooth
can a landing get?
Good landing, bill.
That's keeping
the old nose up.
Watch your step,
folks.
Step carefully,
please.
You may claim
your baggage
At gate 8.
Hey, there she is.
I love
my mother-In-Law.
I love
my mother-In-Law.
Hey, mother-In-Law!
Here I am,
sweetie.
Oh, no. He's been dipping
into the cactus juice.
My, you're looking
beautiful.
Alright, sneaky,
what have you been up to?
I love
my mother-In-Law.
Let's hold
that thought.
I love
my mother-In-Law.
Oh, stop mumbling,
And put my luggage
in the car
If you think you can
stagger that far.
Coming, mother.
[Rrr rrr]
Watch out
for that truck.
Yes, mother-In-Law,
dear.
And slow down.
You're full of
cactus juice, you know.
I haven't had
one drop
Of cactus juice
in months.
Ha!
And like they say,
"don't raise a fuss.
Leave the driving
to us."
[Laughs]
Oh, boy. I love
my mother-In-Law.
I love my
mother-In-Law.
Oh, stop babbling.
You're driving too fast.
I am not driving
too fast,
Mother-In-Law, dear.
All speedometers are
a little bit off,
So they allow you 5
or 10 miles leeway.
[Siren]
Alright, you,
pull over.
I told you you were
driving too fast.
I like her.
50 miles an hour
in a 35-Mile zone.
You're in
a big hurry?
Your wife going to
have a baby
Or something?
Why, yes, my wife is
going to have a baby.
She is?
Okay, mister,
Just follow me!
Uh, yes, officer.
What's this all about?
I don't know.
He said follow,
so I'm following.
[Siren]
I can read it now--
"Alert officer
races stork to hospital."
This might even get
my picture in the paper.
Come on!
Step on it!
We're going 60.
This is crazy.
I know, I know.
[Siren]
Bedrock maternity
hospital?
Yeah, what's
this all about?
Come on, lady.
I got you here in time.
Put me down.
Put me down.
[Policeman]
just relax, lady.
You'll be alright.
We'll forget
the speeding ticket
In this case, mister.
Thanks, officer.
Yeah, well,
good luck.
Now to give this story
to the newspapers.
She's been given
a mild sedative.
You may wait and see her
when she wakes.
See her?
That's the last thing
I want to do.
Well! Some father
he'll make.
[Tires screech]
That sounds like
Fred's car, dino.
Let's go meet mama.
[Arr arr arr]
Go on, dino.
Say hello to mama.
[Arr arr arr]
Hey!
[Dino whining]
Wilma, what is with
this crazy Dino?
Oh, he's just
excited about
Mama coming.
Where is she, Fred?
Still in the car?
No, the last I saw her,
She was going into
the maternity hospital.
Maternity hospital?
Why did she go there?
It was the cop's idea.
The cop?
- Let me at him!
- Mother!
Where is he?
I'll tear him apart.
I'll--I'll pulverize him.
Mother, remember
your blood pressure.
Where--Where are you?
You--You--
You son-In-Law!
Now, it wasn't
my fault,
Mother-In-Law, dear.
I had to do what
the officer
Told me to do.
Fred, will you
please leave?
Go see if dinner
is cooked.
[Stammering]
glad to, Wilma.
I like my
mother-In-Law.
Ooh, I like her
so much.
Yow!
Wilma!
Dinner is not quite
Cooked yet,
sweetheart.
Oh, go on, mother.
Shake hands with Fred.
Yeah, mother,
let's be friends.
I'm sorry
about what happened.
Oh, alright,
for your sake, Wilma.
Here.
[Bones cracking]
Ooh!
Mother, you shouldn't
have done that.
Ha ha ha.
Can I help it
If I don't know
my own strength?
Oh-Ho-Ho, she's a doll,
a million laughs.
Here's the evening paper,
mother-In-Law, dear.
You read it first.
Take my chair,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I will sit on a box.
But I insist,
mother-In-Law, dear.
You take
the biggest steak.
Fred, I want
to thank you
For being so nice
to mother.
I'm trying, Wilma.
I'm trying hard.
I know, dear,
And I think you're
winning her over.
I sure hope so.
[Crash]
Why don't you look
Where you're going,
clumsy?
I'm sorry,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I didn't expect you
to stick your foot out.
I love my mother-In-Law.
I love my mother-In-Law.
How'd you like
The fight on tv
last night, Fred?
I didn't see it,
Barney.
Wilma's mother
doesn't like
To watch other
people fighting.
Hee hee! You two
never did get along, Fred,
So why worry?
What really
worries me is
How I'm
going to afford
The baby crib
Wilma wants.
It costs
25 bucks.
Oh, hey, Fred,
Charlie boulder,
the cabdriver,
He works only
in the daytime.
I bet he'd let you
use his hack at night
So as you could
make some extra money.
Oh, no, no, Barney, no.
That's out.
Somebody would
see me driving the cab
And tell Wilma
or my boss mr. Slate.
Neither one of them
wants me
To be holding down
2 jobs.
Well, Fred...hee hee!
The only way around that
Is to disguise yourself
while driving.
You know,
wear a false mustache.
[Tires screech]
Barney,
that's a great idea!
It is?
Absolutely. Tonight
I'll tell Wilma
I'm going out
to cruise around,
Which will be
the truth,
Only she'll think
I mean a walk.
In a couple
of nights,
I ought to make
enough money
To buy the crib.
[Baa]
good thing
The weather's warm,
whitey.
You said it,
blackie.
[Yawn]
I think I'll go
get some fresh air,
Cruise around town
a little.
[Door slams]
Just like that, huh?
Just like what,
mother?
He's gone out
to cruise around.
So what?
A husband's place
is home,
Beside his wife when
she's expecting,
Not cruising around
who knows where
With who knows who.
That's so what.
Mother, Fred's been
very nice to you
And all you do is
pick on him.
I don't wish
to hear any more.
Well, if you haven't
the gumption
To tell that husband
of yours off,
I have.
Deserting her
to have a good time.
I'll straighten him out!
Psst! Hey, Barney,
come on outside a minute.
I got something
to show you.
Here I am, Fred.
Hey, where are you?
Taxi, mister?
Is that you, Fred?
It's me, mac.
Fred flintstone's
taxi service.
Wowee, Fred.
That disguise is terrific.
Hee hee. The taxi's
around the corner.
I'm all set to roll.
Taxi, mister?
Ha ha ha!
Well, good luck, Fred.
Taxi, mister?
Ha ha ha!
Ohh, I'll never find
That no-Good
Fred flintstone on foot.
Ah, here comes a cab.
Taxi! Taxi!
Wow, there's
my first fare.
Uh-Oh.
It's Wilma's mother.
Well, her money's
as good as anyone's.
Okay, lady,
watch your step.
Watch your own,
you walrus.
Oh, boy.
I like her.
I like my sweet
little old mother-In-Law.
Where to, lady?
I'm not sure.
Do you know
a Fred flintstone?
Sure, lady. Everybody
knows Fred flintstone.
Swell fella.
I want you to drive me
To wherever he might be
hanging out.
Oh, boy. She's asking
to help pay
For the baby's crib.
Well, lady, Fred flintstone
spends a lot of time
At the water
buffalo lodge.
And a lot of money,
too, no doubt.
Take me there.
Yes, ma'am.
And I know
a bumpy road to it.
Slow down,
you crazy walrus.
Here you are--
Loyal order
of water buffalo.
I'll be right back.
Hurry it up, lady.
The meter keeps running.
Hee hee! It's run up
$1.35 already.
Hee hee!
At this rate,
my dear mother-In-Law
May go all the way
for the baby crib.
Hee hee hee hee.
Flintstone
isn't there.
Where else
does he hang out?
Well, lady, sometimes
he shoots a game of pool.
Take me
to the pool parlor.
Yes, ma'am.
Aren't there any
paved roads
In this town?
This is
a shortcut, lady.
Here we are, lady--
Bedrock pool parlor.
Well, he's not here.
A good pool player
like flintstone
Is bound to show up
sooner or later.
You better wait.
Fred flintstone--
A good pool player?
Why, even I
could beat
That tub of lard.
Perhaps while
we're waiting,
You'd care
to shoot a game?
With you? Ha ha ha!
Anybody who drives
a cab the way you do
Should be a pushover
at this game.
Oh, boy,
is she asking for it.
Just to make it
interesting,
I'll play you
double or nothing
For what's on
the meter.
Just as you say, lady.
Ha ha ha ha!
Little does the old
walrus know
I practically
invented this game.
The most balls out
of one rack, okay?
Okay, just as
you say, lady.
The customer
is always right.
I call that
my "follow the leader" shot.
And I call it luck,
fur face.
That's $6.84
you owe me now.
I know, I know.
Come on.
Let's get going.
I've still got
to find that
No-Good son-In-Law
of mine.
Another place
mr. Flintstone goes
Is the bowling alley.
Drive me there.
Okay, lady.
Bedrock bowl, lady.
When I find that
son-In-Law of mine,
He'll wish
he'd stayed home.
Keep going,
little meter.
When dear mother-In-Law
sees the cab fare,
She'll wish
she'd stayed home.
Ha ha ha!
Any luck, lady?
No. He isn't here.
Well,
that's odd.
He's such
a good bowler.
Good bowler?
Bowling's my game.
I could beat
that flatfooted
Flintstone anytime.
You couldn't
even beat me, lady.
Oh, yeah?
I'll play you a game
For double or nothing
on the meter.
Well, I don't know.
Come on. Come on.
I owe you $10.36 now.
You have to give me
a chance to get even.
Well...okay.
I like it best when
they beg for it.
Hee hee hee hee!
One more strike,
and my score is 260.
Yahoo! A 260!
You'll wish
you'd never
Taken that cab out
tonight.
You need 4 strikes
to beat me, fur face,
And you know
you can't do that.
Oh, no!
Well, that was
just luck.
You'll never get
3 more strikes.
I never saw such luck.
Jinx, jinx, hoo hoo, jinx.
No more strikes.
It worked!
It worked!
The ball's going
in the other alley.
4 strikes!
Oh, no!
[Thud]
Where to now, lady?
Home. I've had it.
You know, lady, a fine fellow
like your son-In-Law
Would probably be
at the library,
Reading up on how
to be a good father.
Oh, yeah?
How stupid can this
stupid cabdriver be?
Yeah. In fact, I'll bet you
The $12.50 on the meter
That flintstone's
at the library.
It's a bet.
I got you this time,
fuzz face.
Oh, no.
Not with the bumps
again.
Public library, lady.
Oh, this is the easiest bet
I ever won.
Ha ha.
Fred flintstone
in a library?
That's a laugh.
Ha ha.
You look over
there, lady,
And I'll look
on this side.
Ok, but don't strain
yourself looking.
Flintstone still
doesn't even
Know his alphabet.
Now to get over
to the reading room.
Hee hee hee hee.
I don't see
flintstone anywhere,
But even though
it's ridiculous,
I'll check
the reading room.
Oh, no!
Mother-In-Law,
dear.
What are you
doing here?
I'm reading up
On how to be
a good father.
Just like
the cabdriver said.
It's unbelievable
but true.
I've had Fred
all wrong.
To think
it cost me $25
To find out Fred
was in the library.
He was in there,
lady.
You owe me
25 bucks.
I know, I know.
Fred, you mean you made
the 25 bucks in one night?
Correct, Barney.
That's why I'm
Through with
the disguise.
Gee, how'd you make
so much, Fred?
Well, you might say
I caught me a nice,
fat pigeon, Barney.
Hee hee hee hee.
A nice, fat pigeon?
Isn't it wonderful,
Wilma,
How Fred and your
mother have made up?
I'll say, Betty.
Last night,
mother came home and said
She had Fred
all wrong for years,
That Fred is really
a wonderful man.
Mm. Look at them
out there--
Real chums.
Oh, it's the nicest thing
that ever happened.
I'm so happy,
I could cry.
So, you see,
mother-In-Law, dear,
How wrong
you were about me
All these years?
Yes, and I'm so sorry
I misjudged you, son.
[Barney]
psst. Hey, Fred.
I'm going to take
the taxi tonight.
Maybe with
this disguise,
I'll catch a fat pigeon
with 25 bucks
Like you did
last night.
Fat pigeon, eh?
[Blam]
Wilma, look.
They're at it again.
Oh, no!
I'll
"fat pigeon" you.
[Blam]
Why don't you
go home
Where
you belong?
Betty, it slowly
dawns on me
That those two
are happiest
When they're fighting.
I'll go home
when I'm ready.
The sooner,
the better!
I'll lower the broom
on you.
Ouch! Cut it out!
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday, maybe Fred
Will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out
For the night
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
mother-In-Law, dear.
You read it first.
Take my chair,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I will sit on a box.
But I insist,
mother-In-Law, dear.
You take
the biggest steak.
Fred, I want
to thank you
For being so nice
to mother.
I'm trying, Wilma.
I'm trying hard.
I know, dear,
And I think you're
winning her over.
I sure hope so.
[Crash]
Why don't you look
Where you're going,
clumsy?
I'm sorry,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I didn't expect you
to stick your foot out.
I love my mother-In-Law.
I love my mother-In-Law.
[Squawk]
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
Of Fred's two feet
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Hey, Fred, why are you
leaving the freeway?
I know a shortcut
To the other
highway, Barney.
A shortcut?
But you're headed
for the river.
Relax, Barney-Boy.
[Splash]
No, Fred, we'll sink.
Stop worrying.
See? We didn't sink.
But don't just
sit there, Barney.
Tread water.
Oh. Okay.
Ha ha ha ha!
This is one time
Your big feet
came in handy, Barn.
Ha ha.
Yeah,
look who's talking.
There. That wasn't
so bad, was it?
No, not so bad,
If you don't
count him.
Some shortcut,
huh, Barney-Boy?
There. Now we're
on the back road.
What's all the rush
to get home, Fred?
Well, Wilma's going
to be a mother soon.
It's my duty
as the daddy
To be home with her
as much as possible.
What are you staring
at me for?
Well, Fred, I, uh,
I was just trying to
picture you as a daddy,
But it's no use.
You're just not
the type. Ha ha!
What do you mean
I'm not the type?
Well, gee, Fred,
no offense,
But fathers
are supposed to be kind,
Considerate, thoughtful,
And you strike out on
all three, freddy boy.
What'd you stop here
for, Fred?
Get out of this car!
You're kidding, Fred.
Out, out, out!
See? That's just
what I mean, Fred.
You're not kind,
considerate, thoughtful.
You're just not
the daddy type.
I tell you what
I'll do, Fred.
I'll help you.
You can practice
being nice on me.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay, Barney.
I'm sorry.
I'll be kind,
considerate,
And thoughtful
of you.
Now, if you two have
Patched up your
little spat,
Would you please
move on?
You're blocking
traffic!
[Horns honking]
Yes, sir, officer, sir.
Yes, sir.
Hi, Wilma.
May I come in?
Of course, Betty.
I'm in the kitchen.
I was just going to
peek and see
If the lobster
is cooked.
Down, boy.
Down, down.
It's not quite
done yet.
I'll say.
Wilma, do you think
you should be cooking
And doing housework
in your, um...condition?
Betty,
I'm feeling fine.
And Fred's a dear.
He's been doing
the cleaning.
- Fred?
- Yes.
And picking up
and putting away
His things.
That cuts a woman's
work in half.
[Tires screech]
Sounds like
the boys are home.
So I hear.
See you later, Wilma.
Okay, Betty.
Hi, Betty.
Wilma okay?
Little old mama-To-Be
is just fine,
O big daddy-To-Be.
[Giggles]
Hee hee hee.
Boy, that Betty
and Barney.
What a screwball couple.
[Arr arr arr]
No, no, dino! No!
No! Dino, stop!
Stop it, boy! Ha ha!
Cut it out!
Oh, knock it off,
you two.
Why, Fred,
you brought me flowers.
No, Wilma. That's
a present for the baby.
Go ahead.
Open it.
A baseball bat?
Isn't that a dandy?
I'm going to teach junior
to be a ballplayer.
Who knows?
Maybe he'll turn out to be
One of those bonus babies
you read about.
Oh, Fred...
yes, sweetheart?
Supposing--
Just supposing--
Yeah? Yeah?
Supposing junior
turns out to be
A little girl.
Great! Thank heaven
for little girls...
who might make
the big league someday.
[Telephone rings]
I'll get it, Fred.
Hello?
I can't hear you.
Would you speak
louder, please?
That's better.
Who? Oh, mother!
Oh, no!
Tell her to stay home!
No visitors allowed.
The place
is quarantined,
Out of bounds,
off-Limits!
You can hear
old loud what, mother?
Oh, old loudmouth.
Heh heh. Mother's
only kidding, Fred.
Well, I'm not kidding.
Tell her to stay home.
Mother hasn't
said a word
About coming here.
Not yet, she hasn't,
but she will.
Oh, that's good,
mother.
Your plane
arrives at 5:00,
Bedrock airport.
I told you.
I told you!
Fred will be there
to meet you, mother. Bye.
Fred, I want
this silly feud
Between you
and mother stopped.
Instead of hating
mother,
Tell yourself
you like her.
Ha! That's a hot one.
Fred, if you thought
Anything of me,
you'd try it.
Hmm. Maybe Wilma's right.
Maybe it is my attitude.
Why, I could
give it a try.
I like
my mother-In-Law.
There. I said it.
It wasn't easy,
but I said it.
I'm on my way
to the airport
To meet
my dear mother-In-Law.
I'm on my way to
the airport.
I love my mother-In-Law,
the darling.
Ah, here we are.
Bedrock airport.
I love my dear,
sweet mother-In-Law.
My mother-In-Law
is a doll.
I love my dear,
sweet mother-In-Law.
My mother-In-Law
is a--
Are you feeling
alright, mister?
Huh? Yeah, yeah.
I'm okay.
Good. Good.
You just stay in here
and rest.
That hot sun outside
is a killer.
Poor guy. He must have been
standing in it for hours.
[Deep voice on p.A.]
Attention.
Flight 36
now arriving
From rock creek,
arrowhead, and stone ax.
Passengers will exit
at gate 8.
[Nasal voice]
oh, if my voice only
Sounded like that
for real.
Here comes
mother's plane.
I hope it makes
a nice, smooth landing.
Boy, look at
that wingspread.
Keep its nose up!
Keep its nose up!
[Crash]
Boy, how smooth
can a landing get?
Good landing, bill.
That's keeping
the old nose up.
Watch your step,
folks.
Step carefully,
please.
You may claim
your baggage
At gate 8.
Hey, there she is.
I love
my mother-In-Law.
I love
my mother-In-Law.
Hey, mother-In-Law!
Here I am,
sweetie.
Oh, no. He's been dipping
into the cactus juice.
My, you're looking
beautiful.
Alright, sneaky,
what have you been up to?
I love
my mother-In-Law.
Let's hold
that thought.
I love
my mother-In-Law.
Oh, stop mumbling,
And put my luggage
in the car
If you think you can
stagger that far.
Coming, mother.
[Rrr rrr]
Watch out
for that truck.
Yes, mother-In-Law,
dear.
And slow down.
You're full of
cactus juice, you know.
I haven't had
one drop
Of cactus juice
in months.
Ha!
And like they say,
"don't raise a fuss.
Leave the driving
to us."
[Laughs]
Oh, boy. I love
my mother-In-Law.
I love my
mother-In-Law.
Oh, stop babbling.
You're driving too fast.
I am not driving
too fast,
Mother-In-Law, dear.
All speedometers are
a little bit off,
So they allow you 5
or 10 miles leeway.
[Siren]
Alright, you,
pull over.
I told you you were
driving too fast.
I like her.
50 miles an hour
in a 35-Mile zone.
You're in
a big hurry?
Your wife going to
have a baby
Or something?
Why, yes, my wife is
going to have a baby.
She is?
Okay, mister,
Just follow me!
Uh, yes, officer.
What's this all about?
I don't know.
He said follow,
so I'm following.
[Siren]
I can read it now--
"Alert officer
races stork to hospital."
This might even get
my picture in the paper.
Come on!
Step on it!
We're going 60.
This is crazy.
I know, I know.
[Siren]
Bedrock maternity
hospital?
Yeah, what's
this all about?
Come on, lady.
I got you here in time.
Put me down.
Put me down.
[Policeman]
just relax, lady.
You'll be alright.
We'll forget
the speeding ticket
In this case, mister.
Thanks, officer.
Yeah, well,
good luck.
Now to give this story
to the newspapers.
She's been given
a mild sedative.
You may wait and see her
when she wakes.
See her?
That's the last thing
I want to do.
Well! Some father
he'll make.
[Tires screech]
That sounds like
Fred's car, dino.
Let's go meet mama.
[Arr arr arr]
Go on, dino.
Say hello to mama.
[Arr arr arr]
Hey!
[Dino whining]
Wilma, what is with
this crazy Dino?
Oh, he's just
excited about
Mama coming.
Where is she, Fred?
Still in the car?
No, the last I saw her,
She was going into
the maternity hospital.
Maternity hospital?
Why did she go there?
It was the cop's idea.
The cop?
- Let me at him!
- Mother!
Where is he?
I'll tear him apart.
I'll--I'll pulverize him.
Mother, remember
your blood pressure.
Where--Where are you?
You--You--
You son-In-Law!
Now, it wasn't
my fault,
Mother-In-Law, dear.
I had to do what
the officer
Told me to do.
Fred, will you
please leave?
Go see if dinner
is cooked.
[Stammering]
glad to, Wilma.
I like my
mother-In-Law.
Ooh, I like her
so much.
Yow!
Wilma!
Dinner is not quite
Cooked yet,
sweetheart.
Oh, go on, mother.
Shake hands with Fred.
Yeah, mother,
let's be friends.
I'm sorry
about what happened.
Oh, alright,
for your sake, Wilma.
Here.
[Bones cracking]
Ooh!
Mother, you shouldn't
have done that.
Ha ha ha.
Can I help it
If I don't know
my own strength?
Oh-Ho-Ho, she's a doll,
a million laughs.
Here's the evening paper,
mother-In-Law, dear.
You read it first.
Take my chair,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I will sit on a box.
But I insist,
mother-In-Law, dear.
You take
the biggest steak.
Fred, I want
to thank you
For being so nice
to mother.
I'm trying, Wilma.
I'm trying hard.
I know, dear,
And I think you're
winning her over.
I sure hope so.
[Crash]
Why don't you look
Where you're going,
clumsy?
I'm sorry,
mother-In-Law, dear.
I didn't expect you
to stick your foot out.
I love my mother-In-Law.
I love my mother-In-Law.
How'd you like
The fight on tv
last night, Fred?
I didn't see it,
Barney.
Wilma's mother
doesn't like
To watch other
people fighting.
Hee hee! You two
never did get along, Fred,
So why worry?
What really
worries me is
How I'm
going to afford
The baby crib
Wilma wants.
It costs
25 bucks.
Oh, hey, Fred,
Charlie boulder,
the cabdriver,
He works only
in the daytime.
I bet he'd let you
use his hack at night
So as you could
make some extra money.
Oh, no, no, Barney, no.
That's out.
Somebody would
see me driving the cab
And tell Wilma
or my boss mr. Slate.
Neither one of them
wants me
To be holding down
2 jobs.
Well, Fred...hee hee!
The only way around that
Is to disguise yourself
while driving.
You know,
wear a false mustache.
[Tires screech]
Barney,
that's a great idea!
It is?
Absolutely. Tonight
I'll tell Wilma
I'm going out
to cruise around,
Which will be
the truth,
Only she'll think
I mean a walk.
In a couple
of nights,
I ought to make
enough money
To buy the crib.
[Baa]
good thing
The weather's warm,
whitey.
You said it,
blackie.
[Yawn]
I think I'll go
get some fresh air,
Cruise around town
a little.
[Door slams]
Just like that, huh?
Just like what,
mother?
He's gone out
to cruise around.
So what?
A husband's place
is home,
Beside his wife when
she's expecting,
Not cruising around
who knows where
With who knows who.
That's so what.
Mother, Fred's been
very nice to you
And all you do is
pick on him.
I don't wish
to hear any more.
Well, if you haven't
the gumption
To tell that husband
of yours off,
I have.
Deserting her
to have a good time.
I'll straighten him out!
Psst! Hey, Barney,
come on outside a minute.
I got something
to show you.
Here I am, Fred.
Hey, where are you?
Taxi, mister?
Is that you, Fred?
It's me, mac.
Fred flintstone's
taxi service.
Wowee, Fred.
That disguise is terrific.
Hee hee. The taxi's
around the corner.
I'm all set to roll.
Taxi, mister?
Ha ha ha!
Well, good luck, Fred.
Taxi, mister?
Ha ha ha!
Ohh, I'll never find
That no-Good
Fred flintstone on foot.
Ah, here comes a cab.
Taxi! Taxi!
Wow, there's
my first fare.
Uh-Oh.
It's Wilma's mother.
Well, her money's
as good as anyone's.
Okay, lady,
watch your step.
Watch your own,
you walrus.
Oh, boy.
I like her.
I like my sweet
little old mother-In-Law.
Where to, lady?
I'm not sure.
Do you know
a Fred flintstone?
Sure, lady. Everybody
knows Fred flintstone.
Swell fella.
I want you to drive me
To wherever he might be
hanging out.
Oh, boy. She's asking
to help pay
For the baby's crib.
Well, lady, Fred flintstone
spends a lot of time
At the water
buffalo lodge.
And a lot of money,
too, no doubt.
Take me there.
Yes, ma'am.
And I know
a bumpy road to it.
Slow down,
you crazy walrus.
Here you are--
Loyal order
of water buffalo.
I'll be right back.
Hurry it up, lady.
The meter keeps running.
Hee hee! It's run up
$1.35 already.
Hee hee!
At this rate,
my dear mother-In-Law
May go all the way
for the baby crib.
Hee hee hee hee.
Flintstone
isn't there.
Where else
does he hang out?
Well, lady, sometimes
he shoots a game of pool.
Take me
to the pool parlor.
Yes, ma'am.
Aren't there any
paved roads
In this town?
This is
a shortcut, lady.
Here we are, lady--
Bedrock pool parlor.
Well, he's not here.
A good pool player
like flintstone
Is bound to show up
sooner or later.
You better wait.
Fred flintstone--
A good pool player?
Why, even I
could beat
That tub of lard.
Perhaps while
we're waiting,
You'd care
to shoot a game?
With you? Ha ha ha!
Anybody who drives
a cab the way you do
Should be a pushover
at this game.
Oh, boy,
is she asking for it.
Just to make it
interesting,
I'll play you
double or nothing
For what's on
the meter.
Just as you say, lady.
Ha ha ha ha!
Little does the old
walrus know
I practically
invented this game.
The most balls out
of one rack, okay?
Okay, just as
you say, lady.
The customer
is always right.
I call that
my "follow the leader" shot.
And I call it luck,
fur face.
That's $6.84
you owe me now.
I know, I know.
Come on.
Let's get going.
I've still got
to find that
No-Good son-In-Law
of mine.
Another place
mr. Flintstone goes
Is the bowling alley.
Drive me there.
Okay, lady.
Bedrock bowl, lady.
When I find that
son-In-Law of mine,
He'll wish
he'd stayed home.
Keep going,
little meter.
When dear mother-In-Law
sees the cab fare,
She'll wish
she'd stayed home.
Ha ha ha!
Any luck, lady?
No. He isn't here.
Well,
that's odd.
He's such
a good bowler.
Good bowler?
Bowling's my game.
I could beat
that flatfooted
Flintstone anytime.
You couldn't
even beat me, lady.
Oh, yeah?
I'll play you a game
For double or nothing
on the meter.
Well, I don't know.
Come on. Come on.
I owe you $10.36 now.
You have to give me
a chance to get even.
Well...okay.
I like it best when
they beg for it.
Hee hee hee hee!
One more strike,
and my score is 260.
Yahoo! A 260!
You'll wish
you'd never
Taken that cab out
tonight.
You need 4 strikes
to beat me, fur face,
And you know
you can't do that.
Oh, no!
Well, that was
just luck.
You'll never get
3 more strikes.
I never saw such luck.
Jinx, jinx, hoo hoo, jinx.
No more strikes.
It worked!
It worked!
The ball's going
in the other alley.
4 strikes!
Oh, no!
[Thud]
Where to now, lady?
Home. I've had it.
You know, lady, a fine fellow
like your son-In-Law
Would probably be
at the library,
Reading up on how
to be a good father.
Oh, yeah?
How stupid can this
stupid cabdriver be?
Yeah. In fact, I'll bet you
The $12.50 on the meter
That flintstone's
at the library.
It's a bet.
I got you this time,
fuzz face.
Oh, no.
Not with the bumps
again.
Public library, lady.
Oh, this is the easiest bet
I ever won.
Ha ha.
Fred flintstone
in a library?
That's a laugh.
Ha ha.
You look over
there, lady,
And I'll look
on this side.
Ok, but don't strain
yourself looking.
Flintstone still
doesn't even
Know his alphabet.
Now to get over
to the reading room.
Hee hee hee hee.
I don't see
flintstone anywhere,
But even though
it's ridiculous,
I'll check
the reading room.
Oh, no!
Mother-In-Law,
dear.
What are you
doing here?
I'm reading up
On how to be
a good father.
Just like
the cabdriver said.
It's unbelievable
but true.
I've had Fred
all wrong.
To think
it cost me $25
To find out Fred
was in the library.
He was in there,
lady.
You owe me
25 bucks.
I know, I know.
Fred, you mean you made
the 25 bucks in one night?
Correct, Barney.
That's why I'm
Through with
the disguise.
Gee, how'd you make
so much, Fred?
Well, you might say
I caught me a nice,
fat pigeon, Barney.
Hee hee hee hee.
A nice, fat pigeon?
Isn't it wonderful,
Wilma,
How Fred and your
mother have made up?
I'll say, Betty.
Last night,
mother came home and said
She had Fred
all wrong for years,
That Fred is really
a wonderful man.
Mm. Look at them
out there--
Real chums.
Oh, it's the nicest thing
that ever happened.
I'm so happy,
I could cry.
So, you see,
mother-In-Law, dear,
How wrong
you were about me
All these years?
Yes, and I'm so sorry
I misjudged you, son.
[Barney]
psst. Hey, Fred.
I'm going to take
the taxi tonight.
Maybe with
this disguise,
I'll catch a fat pigeon
with 25 bucks
Like you did
last night.
Fat pigeon, eh?
[Blam]
Wilma, look.
They're at it again.
Oh, no!
I'll
"fat pigeon" you.
[Blam]
Why don't you
go home
Where
you belong?
Betty, it slowly
dawns on me
That those two
are happiest
When they're fighting.
I'll go home
when I'm ready.
The sooner,
the better!
I'll lower the broom
on you.
Ouch! Cut it out!
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday, maybe Fred
Will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out
For the night
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!