The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 10 - Hawaiian Escapade - full transcript

What's Fred doing
out there?

I don't know,
but I don't like it.

[Man] ok, we're going
to make a take.

Stand up. Ride it.

That's fine.

Wave, Flintstone.
Wave and smile.

Great, Flintstone.
Great!

Gee, I'm pretty good.

Careful, Fred!

Watch out.

[Crash]



[Squawk]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

The barbecue is
just about ready, Wilma.



Got the steak?

Right here,
Betty.

Oh, wait, Wilma.

Let me give you
a hand with that.

Hope we
timed it right.

You know how fussy
the boys are,

Especially about
barbequed steaks.

They should be
pampered a little.

They're pretty good
husbands, you know.

And pretty cute, too.

Bless their hearts.

Wait till they get home
and see this.

Yes, sir.
If there's one thing

Our tubby hubbies
are experts on,

It's smoky steaks.

[Squawks]

I do all the work
around here,

And they get
all the steaks.

Wilma, it's 7:00!

Oh, my gosh.

We'll miss him.
Come on!

Hold on, larry.
I'm coming.

Me, too, larry.

Gee, we just
made it in time.

[Tarzan yell]

[Wilma]
Isn't he beautiful?

What a man!

[Giggles]

[Betty] Golly.

I'd like to see Barney
and Fred do that.

Barney and Fred who?

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Bring on
the barbecue!

Right, Fred.

After a hard day
on the golf course,

There's nothing like a nice,
thick brontosaurus steak.

Cooked by our ever-Loving
and devoted wives...

who stay home all day

Thinking of nothing
but how to please us...

making those steaks
tender and juicy...

and succulent.

Drive faster, Fred.
I can taste them now.

Wilma! Betty!
We're home!

[Barney] uh-Oh.
Hey, Fred.

You can bring out
the steaks now.

Hey, Fred.
Uh, look here, Fred.

What the--

How do you like that?

Anybody else
would use charcoal,

But not our wives.

They make a fire
out of old shoes.

Uh, look again, Fred.

Huh? Oh, no! No!

I hate to say
anything, Fred,

But I think we were supposed
to eat this old shoe.

You mean, this was once
our tender, juicy...

Wilma!

Watch out, larry!

The beasts
are after you!

Wilma!

What daring!

Wilma!

What bravery!

[Barney]
Betty!

What muscles!

What about this?

Fred, what are
you doing?

The program's
not over yet.

Wilma, the steaks!

Oh, my gosh!

We forgot
all about them.

Oh, Fred,
I'm so sorry.

We planned such
a nice dinner.

We were watching
larry lava,

And we--We lost
all track of time.

Who?

[Wilma] you know.

The star of
"hawaiian spy?" Look.

Never heard of him.

What did he ever do?

[Betty]
isn't he marvelous?

How does he do it?

[Barney] that's simple.
With mirrors.

Right, Fred?

Of course.

Some hawaiian spy.

That guy couldn't
hurt a fly.

[Wilma]
now, Fred--

Listen, the only
thing he has

That I haven't
is a stunt man.

Course, I wouldn't
need one.

You know it, Fred.

We better feed them fast.

They're so hungry,
they're delirious.

Here comes
a commercial.

Well, I've got some
pteratuna at my house.

I'll run over
and get a can.

Canned pteratuna.

Some dinner for
a hungry man.

Yeah, but they wouldn't
burn no steaks

If larry lava
was coming over.

Shh. Shh. Shh.
There he is!

[Fred] yeah.

Looks like he's
bringing his own tuna.

How's that for beautiful?

I ask you, c.W.,
Is that not beautiful?

Not interested
in beauty, goldrock--

Not his, anyway.

Interested in ratings.

And if they get
any lower,

I'll have to go
underground to read 'em.

Know what I mean?

But, c.W.,
There's a million women

In love with the star
of "hawaiian spy."

Right, larry?

How's your fan mail,
sweetheart?

Simply exhausting.

Ooh! Hee hee hee.

Watch it, buster.
Those hangnails tickle.

As long as larry
sells your cereal,

What do you care?

Do care, sam.

It's a status thing.

I want big ratings!

So, don't panic already.

Tonight we announce
the contest.

In one week, every man
in the country

Will watch this show.

Then you watch those old
ratings climb the flagpole!

[Snoring]

Gee, I'm sorry.

I couldn't
find the tuna.

Oh, we'll fix
something later.

Oh, this is
thrilling, Betty.

Be careful, larry.

Ooh,
watch out!

What's he doing now?

[Betty] he's wrestling
an alligator.

An alligator?

This I gotta see.

Oh, brother.

Wrestling alligators?

Anyone knows there's
no alligators in hawaii.

That's a fake
alligator.

Oh, Fred!

You're jealous
of larry lava.

Ha! That'll be the day.

Fred "muscles" flintstone

Jealous of that
hollyrock phony?

Ha!

Barney, who's the best
bowler in bedrock?

You are, Fred.

Who burns up
the golf course?

You do, Fred.

Swimming?

You're the champ.

And don't forget
football, Fred.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

And who is bedrock's
heaviest halfback?

Who else? Fred "muscles"
flintstone.

You know, Barney,

As long as
we're out,

Let's get
something to eat.

I'm with you, Fred.

Bye, muscles.

You know, they have a right
to be mad about dinner.

Let's surprise them
with a dessert.

Good idea.

Cactusberry pie
a la mode

Ought to make
them forgive us.

Ready, Wilma?

Yes.

Did you find the berries
in the freezer?

Yeah, they were hidden
behind the peas.

Pour the berries, Betty.

I'll turn up the tv

So we can hear the end
of the program.

I'll put the top
layer on, Wilma.

Ok, Betty.

[Squawk]

Whaddya wanna bet I don't
get any pie either?

[Squawk]

[Announcer] and now
an important announcement.

The makers of rock toasties,

Cereal of champs
like larry lava,

Offer you men the chance
of a lifetime.

Sounds like
another contest.

Merely write in
25 words or less

"Why I like
rock toasties."

Barney should
enter this.

He really eats
the stuff.

[Announcer] winner
will be awarded

An all-Expense-Paid
trip to hawaii for two...

my goodness.

Plus a paid appearance
in one episode

Of "hawaiian spy."

So, come on,
you armchair athletes.

Sounds like he's
talking about Fred.

Write to larry lava,
care of "hawaiian spy"

And let him know why his
cereal is your cereal.

Program's over.
I'll turn it off.

[Giggles]

Betty, I just had
the funniest thought.

[Giggles]

I got the message,
too, Wilma,

But we couldn't
get them to do it.

Not them.

We'll send it to
the larry lava contest

And sign their name.

[Chuckles]

Yeah! Let's do it.

That does it.

Read it, Wilma.

Ok. "Dear mr. Lava,

"I like rock toasties

"Because as a former
champion all-Around athlete,

"I need energy
to start my day.

"And whether I'm setting
new records water skiing,

"Climbing mountains,
or wrestling dinosaurs,

"Rock toasties
never fails me.

"Signed,
Barney v.I. Flintstone."

What's the "v.I." For?

Vivid imagination.

That covers
both of them.

Aren't we the devils!

I smell something burning.

The pie!

Oh, no!

Oh, yes!

Boy, Fred, it's
sure swell of us

To give the girls another
chance at barbecuing.

I warned Wilma
if she's gonna

Burn anything tonight,

It better be
her mother's picture.

Steaks are
too expensive.

[Betty] don't you think
we should wait for the boys

Before we put
the steaks on?

Don't worry.

I've got everything
timed perfectly.

[Betty] there's someone
at the door, Wilma.

[Wilma] yes,
what is it?

This the Barney v.I.
Flintstone residence?

No, this is
the Fred fli--

Uh, that is--

Yes! Yes, it is!

Telegram for
mr. Flintstone.

Thank you.

Betty,
you don't suppose.

Hurry! Read it.

"Mr. Barney v.I. Flintstone,
congratulations.

"The c.W. Crater company
is happy to inform you

"That you have
won first prize

"In why I like
rock toasties,

Et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera."

Oh, Betty,
we're going to hawaii!

Yahoo!

Rockiki beach,
here we come!

[Both]
yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Oh, well.

Somebody wins,
somebody loses.

[Sniff sniff]

Hey, uh, Fred,
something's burning.

You're imagining
things.

Well, maybe so,

But I still say where
there's smoke, there's...

fire!

The hose, Barney!
Hurry! Hurry!

Right, Fred.
Here it is.

It's out, Fred.

[Hawaiian music plays]

Queen rocky moolah

Did her rocky hula

And all the natives
would say

Pass the papaya today

We'll hula and hula
with queen rocky moolah

And wikki wakki
hula away

We'll wikki wakki
hula away

[Giggling]

They've flipped.

[Wilma]
oh, Fred, Barney,

Wait till you hear!

Papaya and poi.

"Aloha kelakahui!"

And larry lava, too.

We're going!

[Fred] hold it. Hold it!

Who's going where?

We entered a contest
on "hawaiian spy..."

Signed your names
to it, and we won!

Just think,

An all-Expense-Paid
trip to hawaii for two!

Yeah, but for
which two?

What do you mean,
which two?

We're all go--
Oh.

Which two?

Let me see that telegram.

"Congratulations.
You've won first prize...

[mumbling]

A paid appearance
on show..."

[Mumbling]

Aha! Hey! The winner
of this contest

Appears as an actor
in one of the shows.

Well, that decides it.

Only one of us
could do that.

I'm glad you see
it my way, Fred.

I'll send you
a coconut.

Don't be ridiculous.

You're no actor, Barney.

Are you?

Wait a minute.
I've got a solution.

Fred gets the free
trip as the winner,

He turns over his
salary as an actor

To you two to pay
for your trip,

And we all go!

Wilma, you're a genius!

Pass the suntan oil,
Betty.

We're going to hawaii.

Happy flying,
everybody.

We shall arrive
in hawaii in 5 hours.

During our flight
if you have any questions,

Please feel free
to ask me.

[Barney] oh,
I got a question.

Yes, sir?

Could I take
your picture?

Why, certainly, sir.

Oh, I'll go
get my camera.

Now don't go away.

Yeah, this must be it.

Hey, I don't see
no luggage here.

I better go in and ask
her another question.

Uh-Oh. The door locked.

Hey, let me in. Hey!

Tickets, please,
mister, uh, mister...

Uh, flintstone.
Barney v.I. Flintstone.

I'm a tv star.

Like you to meet
my manager Fred rubble.

Hey, where's Barney?

[Whistles]

Here I am, Fred.

Barney, what are you--

Oh! Oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh!

Get in here!

Thanks, Fred.

Brr. Oh, it was
cold out there.

Now, then, my dear,

If you want to
see my studio

When you get
to the island

Just ask for
me anywhere.

Barney v.I. Flintstone--
The, uh, actor.

Thank you,
mr. Flintstone.

Hey, I forgot
to ask you, Wilma,

What's the v.I.
Stand for?

Very important.
What else?

Well, here we are
in hawaii.

Having fun, Betty?

Some fun.

I thought we'd rest
while Fred worked.

Ha!

You know how it is
with actors.

They got to keep up
appearances.

There's the set.

This must be
the place.

[Man]
places, everybody.

You all set, joe?

Uh, check, boss.

Get a shot of that

Big funny-Looking
thing over there.

Right, boss.
How's that?

Let me take a look.

I, uh, I meant the other
funny-Looking thing, joe.

[Laughing]

Oh. There.

There we go.

That's better.
Shoot it.

I think the other
one was funnier,

But you are
the boss.

I guess I'm
working with you

On this picture,
larry.

I'm Fred--Uh,
Barney v.I. Flintstone.

I'm glad for you.

Look, Betty.

There's larry lava
with Fred.

Isn't he gorgeous?

Oh, excuse me,
mr. Lava.

Here's your
chair, Fred.

Thanks,
girl.

I'll never wash
this hand again.

It accidentally
touched larry lava.

Ooh! How did it feel?

Like a star.

You can call me
by my nickname--Fred.

Must I?

[Director] oh, larry,
in this next scene--

I'm Barney v.I. Flintstone,
your new actor.

Who?

Flintstone, contest winner,
rock toasties?

Oh. Oh, yes.

Tell you what,
flintstone.

You go over there,
sit down,

And when
the dancing starts,

Turn to the man
on your right

And say,
"pass the poi," ok?

Now, larry, in this
next scene--

Then what
do I do?

Then you go home,
I guess.

As I was saying,
larry...

hey, what's
the matter, Fred?

How do you
like that, Barney?

One line they give me.

Here. Hold my glasses.

I'll show 'em
what an old pro can do.

Ok, ready, everyone.
This is a take.

Quiet!

"Hawaiian spy"
take 14.

Roll 'em!

Please pass the poi.

Please!

Action!

[Chanting in
native language]

Hold it. Hold it!

Cut! Alright,
who's the wise guy?

But the camera
wasn't on me!

I know that.

It wasn't
supposed to be.

We're selling the dance
in this shot, you see?

Ok, joe, let's start
again from the top.

Hmm. Selling
the dance, huh?

Camera! Action!

[Chanting]

Cut! Cut!

[Scatting]

Say, uh, ha ha,

Mr. Flintstone,
where in the script

Did it tell you
to dance?

Ok, I don't dance.

How about if
I start a fight

With the guy next to me
at the lau-Wu?

That's luau.

Tell you what,
mr. Flintstone,

You sit down
and say your line,

And I'll see
you get a closeup.

A closeup?

A closeup.

It's a deal.
Makeup!

Coming right up, Fred.

Hey, not so hard.

Why did I become
a director?

I liked being
a bookkeeper.

Ready anytime you are,
mr. Stonehart.

Uh, yeah.

Camera!

Action!
It's a take.

Uh, pass the...

th-The, uh...

the...ugh.

What seems to be
wrong now?

I forgot my line.

I'm telling you,
mr. Crater,

He's got to go.

He's blowing my budget
sky-High!

I refuse to act
with that, uh,

That, uh...that, uh...

you take the words
right from my mouth.

He's out now!

He stays.

Flintstone won my contest,

And he's staying
in my picture.

You should read
his contest entry.

He's a champion athlete--

Water skis, swims,
climbs mountains,

Wrestles dinosaurs.

So that makes him
an actor?

Nope, makes him
a stunt man,

Know what I mean?

Ooh-Hoo-Hoo!

C.W., You are
a genius!

Call in your
writers, sam.

We're going to put
some stunts in this show

That'll make your
hair grow again.

So I looked
at the film

And knew we had to give
you a bigger part.

You were bound to
recognize my talent.

Yeah. Now remember,
you're king maheahea.

I'm king maheahea.

You stand proud--

Proud.

Wave to your people--

Ah, the people.
I wave.

Get it?

Yep. Yep.
"Hi, people!"

Say, that's very good,
very good!

You've got
a sense of humor, too.

Ha ha.

Ok.

Now, let's get out
there and do it.

Out there?

Yeah. You know,

You swim out
and ride the wave in.

Oh, but, but, but--

You're a champion
athlete, aren't you?

But, but, but, but--

Go, man, go!

What's Fred doing
out there?

I don't know,
but I don't like it.

Hold on.
Here he comes.

[Director] ok, we're
going to make a take.

Stand up. Ride it.

That's fine.

Wave, flintstone.
Wave and smile.

Great, flintstone.
Great!

Gee, I'm pretty good.

Careful, Fred!

Watch out.

[Crash]

What Fred needs
is a good stunt man.

Poor Fred.

I wonder what
contest we have

To enter to get him
off this picture.

Ok, larry, let's do it
as we rehearsed it.

The beast is tied up
good and strong,

Isn't he?

Yes, larry. As long as
you're in the shot.

Roll 'em!

Action!

That's it, larry.
Make it look real.

[Aagh]

[Aagh]

Cut!

Ok, flintstone.
You're in.

What? Wha--
What am I in?

Wh-What do I do?

Quit kidding,
flintstone.

You're a champion,
aren't you?

Yeah, but--But--

You wrestle the dinosaur.

Wrestle
the dinosaur?

I get it, Betty.
It's our letter.

They're making Fred

Do everything
we said he could do,

That he can't.

So far, Fred's
doing all the work.

Some he-Man,
that larry lava.

Yeah.

I may wash my hand
after all.

[Aagh]

I'm supposed to wrestle
that dinosaur?

Ok. Cut her loose.

It's a long shot,
joe.

Will you start wrestling,
Flintstone?

You're wasting film.

Phooey. Some champion.

To me, he's nothing but
a financial disaster.

And he's a big sissy, too.

Don't you dare speak of
my husband that way.

You and your
silly old show.

Come on, Fred.

I'm not gonna stand
around and let them

Make a fool of you.

We're leaving.

Help! Get him
off of me.

Help!

Fred!

Beat it, buster.

[Whimpering]

Let's go home, Fred.

Wilma, baby.
I'm with you.

Hey, you two,
wait for us.

My, that's a pretty table.

I hope Fred appreciates
all this fuss.

Well, he needs

A little morale
booster right now.

They didn't treat him
very nice in hawaii,

Did they?

No, and it was
all my fault,

So I want to try
and make it up to him.

Say, your steaks
are about ready, Wilma.

Well, I'd better
be going.

Bye, Betty.

Oh, Wilma.

Barney got some
beautiful pictures

Of you and Fred
and the dinosaur.

You want to come over
later and see them?

Oh, oh, honey.
No, thanks.

If there is one subject

We never mention
in this house...

you just mentioned it.

Ha. Sorry, Wilma.

Oh, don't forget the steak.

[C.W.] No, not that
part, goldrock.

I want to see
what comes next again.

But, c.W.,
Larry's not in that.

I know that, goldrock.

But we've got to talk about
the rock toasties image.

Take a look.

[Goldrock]
c.W.!

You want a whole show around
that bad contest winner?

No. I want a show
starring his wife.

She's a girl
after my own heart--

Spunk, energy,
fire!

Beat it, buster.

[Whimpering]

Get her on the phone.

Gee, I better
take off the steaks.

[Telephone rings]

Oh, dear.

Hello? Yes,
this is mrs. Flintstone.

Oh, hello, mr. Goldrock.

Yes, I'll speak
with mr. Crater.

Gee, I wonder
what he wants.

Oh, no! Not again!

No, mr. Crater.
I won't change my mind.

Wilma ought to have a long
talk with smokey the bear.

[Wilma]
I'm terribly sorry,

But that's just
the way it is.

On the telephone.
That's the last straw.

Oh, we appreciate
the trip to hawaii,

Mr. Crater.

She's talking
to that sponsor.

I'm terribly flattered
that you want to

Build a show around me.

Build a show
around Wilma?

Of course, I'm honored
that you and mr. Goldrock

Think you could
make me a star.

Wilma, they're trying
to take you from me.

No, no. The way
I look at it,

I am a star.

I'm mrs. Fred
Flintstone,

And that's good enough
billing for me.

No, you'll just have to

Find yourself
another girl

With spunk, energy,
and fire.

Fire!

Oh, my gosh!
The steaks!

Good-Bye, mr. Crater.
Happy ratings.

Oh, Fred.
I did it again.

I burnt your steak.

Yes, Wilma.

And you know what
I'm going to do about it?

What?

[Chuckles]

I'm going to
take you out

And buy you the biggest
dinner you ever had,

You living doll, you.

Oh, Fred. I should burn
your steaks more often.

Burn steaks,
fight dinosaurs,

Do anything you want,
Wilma.

As long as you're
mrs. Fred Flintstone,

It's ok with me.

Oh, Fred.

Flintstones

Meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will
stay out for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!