The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 11 - Ladies' Day - full transcript

Well, back to work.

Now to get into
these old duds of Wilma's.

I'll duck behind here.

Well, back to work.
Better punch in.

Wow!

Uh-Oh. I hope Charlie
doesn't recognize me.

[Fred giggles]

[Wolf whistle]

Fresh guy.

[Squawk]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!



Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Ok, Charlie.
Here comes another load.

Right, Fred.
Easy does it.

By the way, Fred,
I thought you'd be going

To the big
baseball game today.



Fat chance I got.
I'm flat broke.

Besides, slate, the boss,
is showing a customer

Around the place.
I could never sneak off.

Uh-Oh. Here they come now.

We better stop gabbing
and start working.

Yes, sir, se?or rocko.

You won't make a mistake
buying from us.

Top quality stone
at rock-Bottom prices.

Si. Si. Perhaps
we can do business.

Yes, sir,
slate's stone company,

The pebble's choice.
Ha ha ha ha!

Well, what say we go
to the club for lunch

And this afternoon
we'll take in a ball game.

Bueno. And then
perhaps we go dancing

With some
se?oritas, yes?

Se?oritas?
Well, now, I'll try.

Sure.

[Squawk]

Lunch!

What you got
for lunch, Fred?

A chicken sandwich.

Wow! Chicken.
Pretty lucky.

Hey, this isn't chicken.
It's chopped egg.

Egg? Maybe you just
didn't wait long enough.

Heh heh heh!

Hey, take it easy!

Ah...ah...ah...

ah-Choo!

Fred, watch out!

You clumsy blimp!
Give me that lunch pail!

Uh-Oh. What am I going
to do with this?

I don't know, pal,

But if it was any thinner,
you could shave with it.

Guess I'll have to
go home for lunch.

[Screech]

Hiya, Fred! Hey,
what are you doing home?

A dinosaurus
sat on my lunch box.

Look at that.
Flat as a pancake.

Well, it might
have been worse, Fred.

You could have sat
on it. Ha ha ha!

Ha ha. Oh, now,
that's humorous.

Very humorous.

And how come
you're home?

Oh, just took the day off.

Thought I'd go
to the baseball game.

The ball game?
You really going?

Yep. You see
what it says here?

"Admit one,"
and I'm the one.

Yeah. Gee, I'd sure like
to take in that game.

Wilma, I'm home.

I guess she's gone out.

If there was
only some way

I could lay my hands
on a couple of bucks.

You see what I see,
Barney?

Looks like
a lady's pocketbook.

And what's inside
a lady's pocketbook?

Well, there's can openers,
beads, golf balls, string,

Flashlights, candy bars,
house keys, bananas.

No, no, Barney.
Money, mazuma, lettuce.

Oh, yeah. That, too.

It's the answer
to a prayer.

Barney, I am practically
at the ball game now.

Oh, but, Fred,

You can't take it.
It's hers.

Barney, this is money,
not towels.

It ain't marked
his and hers.

[Grr]

Now, now, Dino.
Down, boy.

It's me--
The lord and master.

Of all the times

That mutt picks
to be a watchdog.

Give it up, Fred.

Before you can put
the bite on Wilma,

Dino's gonna put
the bite on you.

I know how
to handle this.

Dino! Come on, boy.

Got a nice
brontosteak for you.

[Arr arr arr arr]

Here you are, boy.

[Chomp]

Now, the money.

Fred!

What are you
doing home?

Uh, heh heh heh!
Hello, honey.

Just thought I'd come
home for some change--

I mean, for a change.

Oh, that's nice, dear.

And I see you found
my pocketbook.

Couldn't remember where
I left it. Thank you.

Don't mention it.

- Oh, Fred?
- Yes, dear.

Would you take that box
of my old clothes

To the rummage sale on
your way back to work?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Well, anyway, she saved you
from a life of crime.

A minute sooner
and we'd have been

On our way
to the ballgame.

Too bad you're
gonna miss it, pal.

There will be a big crowd.
It's ladies' day.

Ladies' day, huh?

Yep. Any paying customer
can take in a girlfriend free.

Ah, you're not
taking Betty, are you?

My wife? Nah.

I told you, Fred,
this is my day off.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Barney, how would
you like to take a gal?

A gal? What gal?

- Me.
- You?!

Who's to know?
I'll wear this dress.

What do you think,
Barney?

Um, no. I don't think so.
Definitely not.

Why not?

It's just not
your color, Fred.

You'd look much better in
basic black with pearls.

Alright. Look,

I go back,
check into the job,

Put this outfit on,
sneak off,

And meet you
downtown.

Wilma: Fred, I'm leaving.
See you tonight, honey.

I have to go shopping.
Bye, boys.

Barney:
good-Bye, Wilma.

Darn old lipstick.

Give me your
handkerchief, Barney?

Yeah.
Here you are, Fred.

Now, I'll see you
downtown

In front of
the hotel at 2:00.

It's a date.

You know, Fred,
we always been good pals,

But this is the first time
we tried going steady.

Ha ha ha!

La de de de de da

[Knock at door]

Who is it?

Wilma:
almost ready, Betty?

Oh. Yeah, Wilma.

Just let me just get
the rest of the laundry

In the washing machine.

Ok, sophie,
start agitating.

I'm leaving now, Betty.
Hee hee hee!

Well,
have a nice time.

Oh, I will. I will.
Hee hee hee!

Here. I got one more thing
for the laundry.

Hee hee! Bye, Betty.

Hee hee hee!

Bye.

Aah!

Wilma: Betty,
what's wrong?

Barney's handkerchief
is covered with lipstick!

That's cute.

But it's not
my lipstick.

That's awful!

You know,
he was acting peculiar,

Laughing and giggling.

Imagine! Another woman!

And here I am, spending
the best years of my life

Slaving and working for him.

Me, too.

But how can you be sure
there's someone else?

Oh, I'm sure,
alright.

A woman can sense
these things.

Gee, Betty.

I bet he's going
to see her right now.

Well, he's not going
to get away with it!

Come on! I can't wait
to get my hands on him

And that shameless hussy
he's running around with!

Well, back to work.

Now to get into
these old duds of Wilma's.

I'll duck behind here.

Well, back to work.
Better punch in.

Wow!

Uh-Oh. I hope Charlie
doesn't recognize me.

[Fred giggles]

[Wolf whistle]

Fresh guy.

I wonder what's keeping Fred.
It's close to game time.

Gee, that could be him.
I'd better check.

Hiya, fatso.

I beg your pardon!

Oh, excuse me!

I--I thought
you was Fred.

Did you hear that?

I've never been
so insulted in my life.

Oh, come on, honey.
You must have been.

The idea! I ask you,
do I look like a Fred?

A Fred? No.

A sam, yes,
but a Fred, no.

Psst!
That you, Fred?

You masher!
Officer, help! Help!

Can I help you, sir?

Well, I'm just
looking for someone.

Man or woman?

Why, that depends.
I guess a woman.

She's tall, fat,

With a big nose,
a loud voice,

And wearing a dress like
you'd find in a rummage sale.

You sure can pick 'em,
can't you, mac?

Never mind. I can
probably find her myself.

You probably can,

But let me ask you this,
friend, why bother?

Now, where's that Barney?

Anything wrong, lady?

What? Oh!

Oh, no. I'm looking
for a fellow--

A little guy
about so high

With a pointy nose.

Oh, he's been fresh
with you, too, huh?

That guy needs
a little talking-To.

He could use
some eyeglasses, too.

Hmph.

Maybe Barney's
waiting inside.

- Barney!
- Fred.

Gee, you're a sight
for sore eyes.

Well, anyway,
you're a sight.

Good enough to fool them
at the gate, though.

Betty: Wilma,
there's Barney's car.

He must be
around here somewhere.

Betty:
come on, Wilma.

Wilma:
wait here, driver.

Can I help
you ladies?

We're looking
for a man.

He's a little guy
about...

I know.

About this high
with a pointy nose.

That's right.
How did you know?

He's been annoying
every woman on the block.

He has? Wait till
I get ahold of him.

Yep. You are
numbers four and five.

Obviously a fiend
is on the loose.

I better call the sarge.
We'll need more men.

You'll need
an ambulance, too!

Where's your car,
Barney?

- Out front.
- Let's go.

Maybe he's in there.

Come on.

And to the ballpark,
Barney, dear.

Right, Fred.
I mean, honey.

Hey, that's him!

Did you see him
come out, officer?

He just took off
in a car.

- Alone?
- No, with a woman.

Coming, Wilma?

What a question!

Follow that car!

Step on it, Barney.
The game's about to begin.

Oh, yeah,
that's right.

How's that, Fred?

Now maybe we'll get
there in time.

Faster, driver. Faster.
They must have seen us.

Hey, there's a taxicab
seems to be following us.

So what?

Probably somebody else
going to the game.

Hee hee!
I was just thinking.

I wonder what Wilma
would say if she knew

You were going
instead of working.

Barney, do you have
to spoil everything?

I'm sorry, Fred.

[Screech]

Barney, where are we?

At the ballpark, Fred.
Let's hurry.

Tickets, please.

Barney:
after you, my sweet.

Thank you, dear.

Here's your ticket, bub.

Hey,
what's the matter?

I can take her in free,
can't I?

Yeah,
but think it over, mac.

Are you sure
it's worth it?

Betty: how do you like that?

He wouldn't take me
to the game,

But he takes
that shameless hussy!

Did a little man
just come in,

About so big
with a pointy nose?

He just went in.

Was he alone?

No,
he wasn't alone,

But it would have
been an improvement.

Let's go, Wilma!

Just a minute,
ladies.

Where's
your ticket?

It's ladies' day,
isn't it?

Yeah.

Well, I'm with her.

Then where's
your ticket?

It's ladies' day,
isn't it?

Yeah.

Well, I'm with her.

Oh.

[Squawk]

[Screech]

A-Ha! It's ladies' day.
That's why he came here.

Did a little man
just come in? He's...

I know, I know.

About so big
with a pointy nose.

Yeah, he's here.

Come on, sarge.

Yeah. Let's get him.

You mind telling me,
officer,

Why is everybody so interested
in finding that guy?

He's one of
these smart guys,

You know, considers
himself a ladies' man.

A ladies' man?
You wouldn't think so

If you saw the sample
he brought in.

Well, we're inside.
Let me get this rig off.

Well, how you gonna
take it off?

No problem.

I'll just step into
the men's washroom.

- You can't do that.
- Why not?

Look at yourself.

Huh? Oh, yeah.
This outfit.

You got to go in
the ladies' powder room now.

Yeah. I wonder
where it is.

Hey! I can't
go in there, either.

Why not? Oh, yeah.

You were wrong, Fred.
You have got a problem.

Ah, the heck with it.

Come on,
let's go see the game.

I'm with you, Fred.

How are we ever going to
find them in this crowd?

Just keep looking.
We'll find them.

You really think it's
worth all the bother?

Of course, sarge.
How would you like it

If he tried to
steal your wife?

Well, if you think
there's a chance,

I'll go get her.
Ha ha ha!

Come on!

Alright.
Let's play ball!

We just made it
in time.

Sure is crowded.

Right in
the old pocket.

Stee-Rike one!

I mean, ball one.

Hey, there's only
this one seat left.

Ahem. Excuse me, sir.
Is this seat taken?

Huh? Oh, no,
it's not, lady.

Sit down, dear.

I hope we're not
crowding you boys.

Ha ha ha ha!

Stee-Rike two!

Boo! You was robbed!
Throw the umpire out!

What a belt! On the button!
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Hey, it's coming
toward us.

I see it, I see it!
Out of my way!

Not bad! I can still
handle the hot ones.

Here you are, Barney-Boy.
A little souvenir.

Gee, thanks, Fred.

Who caught
the ball?

A guy over there
in section 23.

A little fella
with a pointy nose.

Did you
hear that, Betty?

It's him!
Come on!

I could use a hot dog.
How about you?

Yeah. Good idea.

Let's go to the stand
and get them.

Ooh, wait till I get
my hands on him.

Hey, Fred, look,
there's Betty and Wilma.

Betty and Wilma!

Barney,
duck back here.

Wow, that was
a close one.

Hey, Fred, the cops.
Duck back.

They must be
after us.

Boy, oh, boy, you sure
can get into messes.

Come on.

Hold it! Hold it!

What's the matter,
Fred?

Look, mr. Slate--My boss.
Back, Barney.

The cops!
Not that way either!

Betty and Wilma!

We're surrounded.
What'll we do, Fred?

Uh, let's go
back to slate.

He won't recognize me
in this getup.

Nice game, eh?

Not bad, but when do
we meet the se?oritas?

Oh, hi, mr. Slate.

I'm Barney rubble,

A friend of
Fred Flintstone's.

Oh, yes. How are you?
Meet se?or rocko.

Oh, it's nice
to meet you,

And this is,
uh, frederica.

Well,
how do you do?

How lovely you are,
my dear.

Excuse me.

I have to phone
the office.

There he is with
that shameless hussy.

Wait a minute.

That dress, that hat--
Why, they're mine!

You know who that is?
It's Fred.

Fred? Are you sure?

I'd recognize
those feet anywhere.

Oh, I get it.
He sneaked in

On Barney's ticket
for ladies' day.

Aww! And to think
I was upset.

The dear boy.

But Fred's supposed
to be at work.

I think we should
teach him a lesson.

Come on!

Ah, se?orita frederica,
you have charmed me

From the moment
I saw you.

Wilma:
hi, Barney.

Oh, hi, girls.
What a surprise.

Meet se?or rocko
and, uh, frederica.

Easy. Easy.

What's the matter,
my pet?

Well, I...
I hardly know you.

Maybe they want
to be alone.

Don't they make
a lovely couple?

Mm-Hmm. Oh,
that reminds me.

Barney, I'm dying for
a couple of hot dogs.

Ok, Betty.

Why don't we sneak off
somewhere quiet,

The two of us?

That sounds
so romantic.

Why don't you?

Oh, come on now.

I'm just not
that kind of a girl.

Go ahead, dearie.

You'll have the time
of your lives.

Si. Si.

We will dance
the tango.

[Music playing]

Oh, you dance
divinely.

Magnifico, my dove.

Iol!

Fred: I'm warning you.

I go steady
with another fellow.

The one
you are with?

He is just
a little pip-Squeak.

Yes, but he's awful
nasty for his size.

Wilma: you're going
with Barney?

But he's
already married.

Oh, but he just did that
to make his wife jealous.

What's the difference?

Yeah, you're so right.

Say, se?or rocko,
I like to go dancing.

Wilma:
why not take me?

Splendid idea.

Rocko:
come, my dear.

We will dance
in the clubhouse.

You're
a married woman.

Like you said, frederica,
what's the difference?

And, besides, my husband
will be at work for hours.

Ta-Ta,
frederica!

Wait a minute. I got
something to tell you.

Hey, sorry, miss.

No unescorted
ladies permitted.

Alright. I'll be back
in a minute with my date.

If I was
a betting man,

I'd put a year's
salary against it.

Pretty good hot dog,
eh, Betty?

Mmm. It's delicious.

Fred: psst, Barney!
Psst...psst...

what's that noise?

Must be my hot dog.
It's still sizzling.

Oh.

Hey, what's the big idea,
frederica?

Ha ha ha!

Come on. We're going
to the clubhouse.

Oh, but I haven't
finished my hot dog.

Never mind the hot dog.
Come on.

Barney:
now, wait a minute!

Fred: get in there!

[Crash]

Ha ha ha!
My date.

I've seen them
thrown out.

That's
the first time

I've ever seen them
thrown in.

[Dance music playing]

Ah, se?orita, my sweet,
you are heavenly.

There they are.
They're dancing.

Well, why not?
That's dance music.

What do you
expect them to do?

I've changed
my mind.

I think I should
tell you that--

There will be time
to talk later,

My beautiful pigeon.

Come on, Barney.
Dance me over to them.

Well, can't we just
sit this one out?

My feet are killing me.

Besides, I don't know
how to dance the tango.

Just do what he does.
I gotta get out there

And hear what's
going on. Come on!

Well, if you insist,
my dear.

Hee hee hee!

Rocko: ah,
my little chihuahua,

You are so lovely,
so very lovely.

Hey, you know, Fred,
I could get to like this.

Quiet, Barney. Listen.

Rocko: we shall
fly away together.

You do something
for me. Iol!

[Tittering]

Fred: now, here's
a little something for you.

Iol!

Well, that's
more like it.

Things are back
to normal.

That ought
to learn you a lesson.

Wilma:
why, Frederica!

What big muscles
you have!

Wilma,
it's me, honey.

I never
would have known.

Forgive me, Wilma.

I promise I'll never
play hooky from work again.

[Giggles] I'm glad
I'm not married

To the sort of girl
who likes

To go dancing
with strangers.

Well, all
straightened out?

Ha ha! Yes.

Betty: shall
we be going?

Yes.

Hey, wait a minute.

The police
are looking for me.

They'll be at the gate.
I'm trapped!

Don't worry, Barney-Boy.
Just leave it to me.

The old Flintstone noggin
will save the day cleverly,

As per usual.

Oh, boy.

Come along, girls.

Coming, Fred.

Not so fast.

We have to wait
for dear old grandma.

[Feebly]
coming, children.

Wonderful game today,
wasn't it, boys?

Hee hee hee hee!

- It's him!
- Right!

It's nice of you boys

To see a little old lady
to her car.

I'll have to knit you
some socks.

Hee hee hee hee!

Good, and you'll
have plenty of time

In the hoosegow!

The hoosegow?
But--But--But--But...

oh, no.
I can't watch.

I'm innocent!
Help! Police!

Good boy, Barney.

You're not mad
at me, Fred?

Mad?
Why should I be?

Well, gee, Fred,
I ruined your best dress.

Ha ha! Barney!

Ha ha ha!

[Laughing]

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out
for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Do time

A dabba-Do time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!