The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 2 - Droop Along Flintstone - full transcript

Fred's rich cousin drafts him into taking care of his dude ranch while the cousin vacations in "Eurock." Fred and Barney are enjoying themselves until they stumble onto a movie set, whose ...

Well, this sure burns me up.

Those two disappearing
like this for hours.

Yeah, they're out
somewhere having a ball

while we're sitting here
looking at some cold food.

[people ululating]

Listen. What's that?

Sounds like some kids
playing cowboys and Indians.

What kids?

There isn't a human within miles
of this dusty old place.

Do you suppose
it could be real Indians?

There hasn't been a real Indian
around here for years.

- Ah!
- What's wrong, Wilma?

Indians! And they're
after Fred and Barney.


[Indians ululating]

Head for that cave, Barney.
We'll hide out in there.

Right, Fred.

- What do we do, Wilma?
- We have to try and help them.

After all, we signed up
for better or worse.

And this is about as
worse as it could get.

[theme music]


[siren blaring]

[tires screeching]

[music continues]




[pleasant music]

We're getting close to the town
of Bedrock, Mary Lou Jim.

Cousin Fred Flintstone's reign.

Cousin Fred
will sure be surprised

to see his unspeakably
rich cousins, Tumbleweed.

He sure will.

I can hardly wait to see
that old sidewinder.


Hey, Pokey.
Ring this critter in.

Here's Cousin Fred's spread.

Uh, yes, sir.
Very good, sir.

[tires screeching]

Well, I declare, it ain't much
of a spread, Tumbleweed.

I keep tellin' you,
Mary Lou Jim..

...everyone isn't
unspeakably rich like we are.

Well...lookie there.

'Isn't that our cousin Fred
manicuring that tree.'

It sure is, Mary Lou.

That's the old
horny toad coyote.

Hey, Fred. You old horse thief.
Look who's here!

Cousin Tumbleweed,
and Cousin Mary Lou Jim!

[cousins hooting]




How ya been, ya old coyote?


Good grief. What's that?
Sounds like a last round-up.

Oh, my goodness!
Help! Police!

My husband's being attacked.

Leave Fred alone, you brute.
You're killing him.

Yip-yip-yip. Yahoo!


It's alright, Wilma.
They're my cousins.

They're just glad to see me.

Oh, I'm sorry!


What's all the commotion,

You're being
robbed or somethin'?

It's alright, Barney.
These are Fred's cousins.

They're just glad
to see him...he says.

Barney, I want you to meet

Cousin Tumbleweed
and Cousin Mary Lou Jim.

Howdy, folks?

Any friend of my Cousin Fred
is a friend of mine.

- Pleased to me you, I'm sure.
- Likewise.

And this is my darling wife,

She's a cute, little heifer,
Fred? Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

Well, now, I'm hungry.
Let's all go out and eat.

Wilma, honey..

...where's the most expensive
chuckwagon in town?

Oh, why, the Rockadero,
I guess.

Then, let's go.
My treat!

Yip yip yip!


But, I'm sorry, sir.

You and your party are not
dressed properly to dine here.

What's the matter
with you, sonny?

Why, I've eaten beef jerky
in my bathtub dressed this way.

I don't doubt it.. cow person.

I demand to see the manager!

Tumbleweed won't
get anywhere with the manager.

No. They're real strict
about being dressed right.

Hey, here comes, Cousin
Tumbleweed back with some guy.

Emil, show the new owner
to the best table.

Hey, how about that!
He bought the place.

Sure! He usually does!

You, dude, you're fired.
We'll find our own table.

Come on, you cowpokes.
Let's eat.


Mighty fine brontosaurus ribs
my restaurant serves.

'Eh, Cousin Fred?'

The best, Cousin Tumbleweed,
the best!

Now, folks, Mary Lou Jim
and I are taking an ocean trip.

We'll probably
have to buy the boat.

But for the month
we'll be away

I want all of you to go out to
my ranch and enjoy yourselves.

'We'd feel better
if our kin folk'

'was watching over our spread
while we're away.'

Cousin Tumbleweed, I..

I won't take no for an answer.

Else I'll cut you out
of my will, Cousin Fred.


- But what about Fred's job?
- And Barney's?

They can't take off
for a month.

You just tell me
what companies they work for.

Why, if I don't already own 'em,
I'll buy 'em.


[engine revving]

So long, Cousin Tumbleweed.

Have a good time,
Mary Lou Jim.

Bye, folks! Now, you get out
to the ranch! You hear?


Uh, it's a mighty big, uh,
car you got there, Tumbleweed.

Big car? Huh!

Down my way,
this is one of those, uh..

What do yo call 'em?
Uh.. Oh, yeah! Compacts.


I hope they have
a good time.

They don't seem
to have any other kind.

Well, what're we gonna do, Fred?

Do? There's only
one thing to do.

Let's go to the ranch. Why,
we'll have a ball, eh, Barney?

Fresh air,
wide open spaces, sunshine..

...and besides,
I can't take the chance.

Or Cousin Tumbleweed
will leave me out of his will.

We've been travelling
for four days now.

We should be getting
close to the ranch.

Yeah. We'll be there
in a few hours.

Hey, Fred, Fred.
Look at that sign up ahead.

'Boy, the Grand Canyon.'

That's one of nature's wonders.
Let's take a look.

So that's the
Grand Canyon, huh?

That's it!

Well, doesn't look
like much to me.

Not now. But they expect it
to be a big thing someday.

Fred. If you see a nice,
clean gas station, let's stop.

No wonder we can't
make any time.

We spend all day looking
for nice, clean gas stations.

Nice, clean restaurants,
nice, clean motels.

After travelin' all day
in this dust and dirt

a nice, clean place
would lock the door

when they saw us coming.

There's a nice,
clean gas station, Fred.

Okay, okay. We'll stop at
the nice, clean gas station

and get some nice,
clean gas.

[bell chimes]

Fill her up, sir?

- 'Yeah. Make it ethel.'
- Right.

glug glug glug

Hey, bud.
Can we have a road map?

Sure. Here you are, mister.

Thank you. Hey, Fred.
Let's find out where we are.

There's Cousin
Tumbleweed's place

right off of Highway Six.

Oh, you know, Fred...I could
always unfold these maps

but I can never get 'em
folded up right again.

Yeah. Yeah,
I know what you mean.

Well, girls, we know
exactly where we are now.

So do I.
We're exactly lost again.

Lost nothing. There's
the ranch straight ahead.

Well, as Cousin
Mary Lou Jim would say..


Quiet. You ornery
horned toad varmint.

Well, there she is.
The Tumbleweed ranch.

Looks more like
a tumbledown ranch to me.

Big spread, huh, Barney?

Sure is, Fred.
You oughta go on a diet.

Keep askin' for it,
Barney. Keep askin'.

One of these days
you'll get it.

Get what, Fred?

Get what, Fred?
Get what, Fred?

A face full of knuckles,
that's what.

Now, let's get down
to the ranch and unpack.



It only took them 10 minutes
to go all out western.

Listen to them.

Listening to them is easy.

It's looking at 'em
that's hard to take.

Look at me, Fred.
I'm a cowboy.

You sure got the legs
for it, tex.

ha ha ha

'Hey, Wilma.'

Droop-along Flintstone is
calling, Wilma.

Ten to one
is something about food.

Hey, Wilma, why don't you
rustle up some grub, honey?

Barney and I are going
down to the corral

and bust a bronco
or two before lunch.

I never saw it to fail.

Whenever I go any place
or any so called vacation

I always end up being
a home on the range.

Well, partner,
there they are.

Yeah, Fred.
There they are, and here we are.

And I'm all for keepin'
it that way.

But I told the girls
we were gonna bust a bronco.

'I've got a deal going
with those broncs.'

'They don't bust me...
I don't bust them!'

What's the matter, Barney?
You a chicken?

Well, uh...let's put it
this way, Fred.

[cackling like a chicken]

Oh, knock it off!

You're gonna bust a bronc,
if it's the last thing I do.

Now, get up
on this one, Barney.

- He's a quiet one.
- Okay, Fred. I busted him.

Now, get me off.

He ain't busted, yet.
Give him the spurs.

Alright, Fred.


No, Barney.
Watch it. Watch it!


Gee. Thanks, Fred.

Lucky for me,
you broke my fall.

You're lucky
I don't break your neck.

Now, get off my back!

I told you
we'd bust a bronco, Barney.

We almost busted this one
just by sitting on him.

So, we start small
and work up.

Give him the spurs, Barney.
We're going too slow.

Okay, Fred. Giddyup.



Not so fast, Barney.
Slow him down.

Yoo-hoo. Betty, lunch is ready.
Will you call the boys?

Okay, Wilma.


Come and get it!

[indistinct clamoring]

Fine thing! I fix lunch
for 'em, and they go off riding.

Some nerve. All they think of
is having a good time.

[indistinct clamoring]

[both screaming]


- You alright, Barney?
- Yeah, Fred.

- How about you?
- Not bad.

Considering we must've
fell a 100 feet.

Well, we're looking
for one thing, Fred.

Yeah? What's that?

We're lucky
we landed in soft water.




Oh, soak your head!

Boy, there's more west out here
than I ever thought possible.

- Hey, Fred.
- Uh-huh.

- I've a good idea.
- What's that, Barney?

I've a good idea
we're lost.

I had that idea an hour ago

when we discovered
we were walking in circles.

- Hey, Fred. Look...hotel.
- Uh? Where?

Oh, boy. What a sight
for my sore eyes!

And my sore feet.

First thing I'm gonna do is
get me a double chocolate soda.

Make mine vanilla, Fred.

There's something's spooky
about this place, Barney.

Not a soul around.

Uh...must be one of those
old ghost towns, Fred.

The West is full of 'em.

Let's take a look
in that saloon, Barn.

If there's anybody around here,
they'll be in there.

Alright, Fred.

'Hello. Anybody home?'

It's as empty
as the rest of the town.

Sort of gives you
the creeps...huh, Fred?

Uh-huh. Looks like people
were here just an hour ago.

I don't know about you, Fred,
but I'm bushed.

What do you say
we take a rest?

I was gonna suggest
the same thing, Barney.

We can take a nap
on those cots

in the back room before
we start hikin' again.

Sounds good to me, Fred.

Now, what's the schedule
on this one's shot?

We gotta shoot fast, boss.

We only have the ghost town
rented for three hours.

Ah, you got enough Indians
for the big scene?

Yeah, and plenty of good guys.

But I'm short
of a couple of bad guys.

No one wants
to play the bad guys.

Well, I don't blame them,
you know.

I mean, the bad guys always
take an awful clobbering.

We'll pullin' into
the ghost town now, boss.

Oh, good, good.
We'll start shooting right away.

Ah, come on, fellas.
You can't all be good guys.

Now, somebody's gotta
wear the black hats.

- 'How about you, Pebble?'
- Not me, boss.

Last time I was the bad guy,
I got two teeth knocked out.

'Ah, it's a shame.'

Alright, alright, we'll shoot
around the bad guys.

Hey, you Indians, take a break,
but keep those feathers clean.

We're gonna shoot
the bar-room fight first.

Some Indians
I got them from the audience

at an all-night movie.

Okay, you guys. We gotta shoot
four episodes in three hours.

So, give it all you got!
No time for re-takes.

But, boss, they're all
wearing white hats.

- They're all good guys.
- I know, I know.

So the good guys have a fight.
I mean...what's the difference?

So long as there's a fight.
Okay. Roll 'em.


thump thump thump

[people screaming]

Hey, Barney. Wake up.
There's somebody here.

thump thump thump

Looks like they're
having a party, Fred.

Yeah. These cowboys
live hard and play hard.

thump thump thump

Let's ask 'em how to
get back to the ranch.

Pardon me, fellas.

Hold it! Hold it. Now, just
a minute, will you, fellas?

I wonder if you could direct me
to the Tumbleweed Ranch?



Hey, mister?

Excuse me, mister. But my friend
and I are lost, see.

Uh, and I wanna ask you..



- Who are those two guys, Chuck?
- Search me, boss.

Shall we shoot
the scene over?

Are you outta your mind? We'll
write them into the script.

Take this down, Chuck.

Two strangers enter,
try to break up fight,

get knocked cold.
Ha ha ha.

'We don't shoot scenes over
on a low budget, you know.'

Hey, boss. You wanna
hear something funny?

Those two guys finally come out
of it and are scared stiff.

They think this whole
set up is real.

They don't know
we're just shooting a picture.

Ain't that a scream!


Say! Say, that gives me an idea.

- Yeah-yeah, it'll work.
- 'How's that, boss?'

We found our bad guys.

Now, get the two
black hats, quick.

So you're
the two bushwackers

that tried to break up
our party, eh?

- Well, you see, I--
- 'Shut up!'

I am the sheriff in this town.
And what I say goes.

- Sure, Mr. Sheriff.
- Whatever you say goes.

And I say,
put on those black hats.

Well, if you insist.
O-okay. But, I don't get it.

Sounds good a squeak
to me, sheriff.

Now, you coyotes
better vamoose

before the boys decide
to have a lynching party.

Alright. But.. Huh!


What do you mean?

They don't take kindly
to having their fun interrupted.

And if I were you,
I'd beat it!

But you'll have to get
through those cowpokes.


Well, Barney.
It's either them or us.

If we stay,
we might get lynched.

Yeah, Fred. How can we explain
that to the girls?

- You ready, Barney?
- Ready, Fred.




- It worked, boss.
- Boy! And how!

Keep those cameras rolling.


You were great, fellas.
Now, beat it, quick.

Thanks, sheriff.

Let's get outta here, Barney

before these screwballs
come too.


Get the cameras
outside, Chuck.

I told the Indians to jump those
two when they got outta town.

Oh, we'll get some
great chase footage.

Boss, you're a genius.

Okay, Barney.
We're safe now.


There ain't nobody
around for miles.

It's a good thing, Fred.
I was getting awful bushed.

Well, what was that, Fred?

That, Barney, is an arrow
used for hunting by...

[Indians ululating]

- ...Indians.
- Indians?

Boy, what a nifty chase!

Are you getting it all, Chester?

Yeah. The zoom lens
brings 'em right up close.

Well, this sure burns me up.

Those two disappearing
like this for hours.

Yeah, they're out
somewhere having a ball

while we're sitting here
looking at some cold food.

[Indians ululating]

Betty, listen. What's that?

Sounds like some kids
playing cowboys and Indians.

What kids?

There isn't a human within miles
of this dusty old place.

Do you suppose
it could be real Indians?

'Not a chance.'

There hasn't been a real
Indian around here for years.

- Ah!
- What's wrong, Wilma?

Indians! And they're
after Fred and Barney.

- What do we do, Wilma?
- We have to try and help them.

After all, we signed up
for better or worse.

And this is about as
worse as it could get.

We must've
lost 'em, Fred.

I don't hear them
hollering anymore.

Good. Head for that cave,

- We'll hide out in there.
- Alright, Fred.


- Any sign of them, Betty?
- I don't see a soul, Wilma.

Poor Fred. He was starting to
worry about his hair falling.

- Imagine how he feels now.
- Yeah.

Knowing that those Indians
could make him instant bald.

Keep looking, Betty.

They've gotta be
out here somewhere.

The Indians got 'em. Good, good.
Are you getting this, Chester?

Uh-huh. Look at that, boss,
they're tying 'em to a stake.

And now, they're going
into a war dance.


Say, they're not bad dancers.

Considering they came through
an all night movie theatre.

Do you think we'll
get outta this one, Barney?

I don't think so, pal.
It looks bad.

- Are you sure?
- Oh, I'm sure, Fred.

Well, then,
here's the 10 bucks

I borrowed from you,
two years ago.

Gee, Fred. To have you pay up,
makes this almost worthwhile.

Wilma, the Indians.

And they have our husbands
tied to a stake.

Oh! Some nerve.
Let's go, Wilma.



Hey, boss, those women in that
car are gonna spoil the shot.

Keep shooting.
It must be their wives.

Oh, they're getting
outta the car.

They're attacking the Indians.
Wow! Oh, this is great!

The Indians are running away.

We got an adult
western going here.


Honest, lady.
We were only kiddin'.

Gee. They never told me
about this in acting school.


That's it, Chester.
We got enough for 10 shows.

Wrap it up! Everybody,
back to Hollyrock.

Oh, come on,
Wilma. Be reasonable.

We walked for five miles,
and we're beat.

Yeah. How about letting us ride
in the car with you, huh, girls?

We told you before, there's no
room in the car for those poles.

And you're not getting loose
until we get back to the ranch.

'For the first time today,
we'll know where you are.'

Giddyup giddyup
giddyup old crate


Oh, brother! A solid
month of cowboy songs.

We must've been
out of our minds

letting Fred talk us
into coming out here.

Maybe, we could give them
back to the Indians.

If the Indians hear them sing,
they won't take them back.



Put the pot on fire, girls.
We're back. Yahoo! Yip-yip-yip.

It's, Cousin Tumblebug.

- Tumbleweed, not bug.
- What's the difference?

They're back
and that means we can leave.

Let's go, Wilma.

Start packing, boys.
We're going home.

Wow! There they go

the ungrateful varmints.

They never even
said a thank you.

I told you, Tumbleweed.

You just can't do enough
for poor relations.

All that crazy talk
about wild Indians.

Bah! Ain't been an Indian
around here for 50 years.



Boy! Look at that
man and woman run.

They're leaving the Indians
way behind.

Keep shooting, Chester.
We got another good one going.

[ululating continues]

I didn't think Cousin Tumbleweed
would ever get that mad.

How mad, Fred?

That he'd pass right by
and never even say hello.


[theme music]






'Come on, Wilma.
Open this door.'