The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 18 - The Entertainer - full transcript

Fred needs to entertain a comely client for work, but decides to skip the explanation to Wilma.

Don't tell me you've
never married, Greta.

You were the most
popular girl in school.

Hmph, I guess my
standards were too high.

I played hard to get and...

..well, I just didn't get got.

'Oh, I wonder what's
keeping Freddy.'

'Freddy, oh-ho, funny that's
my husband's name too.'

Shall I call a cab, sir?

Never mind, I'll crawl home.

[theme music]


[sirens blaring]


[tires screeching]

[music continues]



cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo


Eh...what's the use?



Yeah? Who is it?

Morning, Fred.
It's me, Barney.

It's seven o' clock.
You better get up, Fred.

You'll be late for work.

- 'Go away.'
- Uh-uh.

I promised Wilma I'd see
you got to work on time

while she's away
visitin' her mother.

'Hey, come on, Fred.
Seven o' clock.'

Huh? Then how come
it's so dark?

You've got your eyes closed.

Uh. This working overtime every
night is pure murder.

I won't live long enough
to catch up on my sleep.

Hey, I'll be right back.
I gotta finish breakfast.

And remember, Fred,
it's your turn to drive to work.

[instrumental music]

This getting up early
is for the birds.

Every morning wash your face,
brush your teeth.


Oh, boy. I better make
an appointment with my dentist.

How's the new disposal
workin', Betty?

Oh, just wonderful, Barney.

It's one of those new
quiet type ones.

chomp chomp chomp


Excuse me.

Poor Wilma. She's so anxious

for one of these
modern conveniences.

That's why Fred's been
workin' so late

all these nights
he's been away.

To impress his boss into
a raise, so he can afford

these little wife savers.

[car honking]

That's Fred.
Bye, dear.

Aren't you gonna kiss me?

Why? You goin' away somewhere?

Hmph. I didn't think
we've been married that long.

Okay, Fred. Let's go,
or we'll be late. Get going.

I sure..
late going, yeah.

You must be Superman, Fred.
Working far into the night

goin' with just a few hours'
sleep and still

fresh as a daisy
the next morning.


Me? After eight hours of sleep,
I'm still bushed.

Eh, wake me up when we get
to my office, Fred.



You must have the heater on,
Fred. I'm perspiring.

Me too.

[instrumental music]

- There you are, Barney.
- Safe and sound.

You're sure
a good driver, Fred.

Just don't take any unnecessary
chances, that's all.

Pick you up tonight,
Barney, unless--

Hey, you ain't workin'
overtime again tonight, Fred?

Yeah. The boss wants it.

You know something Barney?

I think Mr. Slate
has started to notice me.

- 'Really, Fred?'
- Uh, little Freddy's no nut.

When I work overtime,
I work out loud.


Adios, amigo.

[instrumental music]

'Be reasonable, Bertha.'

This is the buyer
for our largest account.

You know we've gotta entertain
our buyers when they're in town.

Show them the hotspots,
and stuff like that.

I can't cancel now and take
a chance on losing millions

in orders, just because
of a theater party

for one of your nutty
charity clubs.

This is not nutty, Howard.

It's to raise money
for a worthy cause.

You call that worthy?

To provide sneakers
for poor rickshaw boys?

That's my Tuesday club.

This theater party is to raise
funds to discover a cure

for pancretoris.

- What's pancretoris?
- 'We don't know.'

But it was
the only disease available.

All the others
are already taken.

This city is over-run
by charity organizations.

Ah ha. Come on, Fifi.
Mommy is late

for her beauty saloon

But-but, what will
I do about the buyer?

'Well, perhaps you can get
someone else to take your buyer'

'out to the...hotspots tonight.'

We are going to attend
"Romeo and Juliet."

I haven't seen
either one of those plays.

Get somebody else?

Where can I find somebody
on such short notice?

Say...that could be my pigeon.

[phone ringing]

Hello, Flintstone here.

You wanna see me, Mr. Slate,
in your office?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Right away, sir, at once, sir.

Oh, boy!

[dramatic music]

Must be a raise boss wants
to see me about. Maybe a bonus.

I'll have to buy something
with it before Wilma comes home

and gets her hands on the dough.

She'll probably stick it
in the bank and waste it.

[knocking on door]

Come in, faithful employee.

Ah, Flintstone. Come in,
come in. Sit down.

Make yourself comfortable.

- Do you smoke cigars?
- Yes, sir.

Good. Let me have one of yours.
I'm fresh out.

Here you are, sir.

Light, sir?

Allow me, sir.


Flintstone, I have a problem.
My wife--

'I understand, sir.'

Don't interrupt.

- I haven't finished yet.
- 'Sorry, sir.'

It's seems that Mrs. Slate
has committed us to a charity

affair tonight, not realizing
that I have promised

to entertain a buyer.
A very important buyer.

Too bad, sir.
Anything I can do?

'Yes. You can take my place.'

Yes, sir. A pleasure, sir.

What time shall I pick
your wife up?

Not my wife, the buyer.

'Me, sir?'

Take out a buyer
like a big time salesman?

With an expense account
and a padding and all?

'Do me this little favor,
Freddy boy. And perhaps'

'the next time there's
an opening on the sales force..'

Gosh! An inside job with
a water cooler to hang around.

You've got the touch,

A born leader of men.

Well, then it's all settled.

I've made reservations for two
at the new nightclub

The Copa Cave.

Might as well go home now
and get shaved and stuff.

Oh, here's the buyer's
address. Pick her up at 8:00.

On the dot, H.P old boy.


Her?...He's a she!
Oh no!

I'm glad you understand,
Miss Gravel.

Yes, Fred will be picking
you up at 8:00.

Eh, what's Flintstone like.

Well, he's got a great
sense of humor.

What? What's he look like?

Eh, great sense of humor,
that boy.

He's the funniest.

Yes, yes, goodbye.

'Mr. Slate, about that buyer.'

It's all set,
she can't wait to meet you.

Well, she'll have to,
I'm a married man.

This is business.

I just realized it. I mean that
the buyer is a female woman.

Well, I can't call it off now.

Might lose the whole account.

It'll slow things down.

I guess, you'll have to ask
your wife to join.

I'll change the club
reservation to three.

My wife's out of town
visiting her mother.

Oh, then there's no problem.

Your wife will understand.

Not my wife, I can't do that.

And I love my wife.

(Mr. Slade)
'I love mine too,
I keep telling myself.'

Sorry, Mr. Slate. I guess,
I'm just doomed

to be a plain old
dino operator.

(Mr. Slate)
'If you take out this buyer
it can be the beginning '

'of things for you.'

You mean, the end
if I know my wife.

(Mr. Slate)
'For her, it could be a whole
new world'

'the wife of a junior

Junior executive?

Yeah, just what Wilma always
wanted. To be proud of me.

That she'll be.

Eventually you could
be made vice president

and after a while
who knows, maybe a partner.

Yeah, Wilma would be the
happiest woman in the world.

What do you say, Freddy?

Do you take Miss Gravel out?

How's about a light, partner?

Coming up.


Ha, 7:30, just in time to get
dressed and pick up Miss Gravel.

How I hope Wilma
will forgive me.

After all I'm doin' it for her.


Those soap bubbles
get in my nose.

Oh, I'm so proud
of you, Barney.

Another $2 raise.

The second in ten years.

Guess, the boss has been
noticin' my work.

This calls for celebration.

Oh, yeah, hey,
I'll go out and get a pizza.

I mean a real celebration.

And ask Fred to join us.

Hey, that's a good idea.

He's been working real hard
since Wilma's been away.

He could use a little

Let's see if he's in.


'Fred, oh, Fred.'

Hey, hello, Betty,

'Me and Betty celebratin'
tonight, Fred.'

We'd like you to join us.

'Oh, that's delightful of you,
but, but I--'

You're not workin' again?

'Workin'? Yeah, yeah.'

That Mr. Slate. He always
finds things for me to do.

'Working? Isn't that
your new tie?'

Yeah. Boss' order's he's
on a neat kick lately.

Ha, your smells like
bath salts or somethin'.


Ha, yeah, they happen to fall
into the tub by accident.

From the bedroom?

That's where Wilma
keeps her bath salts.

Sure strange, something like
that'll happen

once in a million years.

Yup, there's always
a first time for everything.

Well, thanks anyway
for thinking of me, folks.

But I got to hurry now.

Fred Flintstone, if I didn't
know you better

I'd say you had a date
with another woman.

Ha ha ha.

Old Fred,
a date with another woman.


Yeah, old Fred.

Yeah, that's the craziest
thing I ever heard.

Old, Fred, huh?

Wilma, what happened to you?

'Oh, hello, Betty, Barney.'

Home so soon?

You were supposed to stay
at your mother's another week.

- Anything wrong?
- No, everything's fine.

I just felt guilty about
leaving Fred alone so long.

I sure miss my boy.

'By a couple of seconds,
he just left for work.'

Work at night?

'And every night
since you left.'

Yeah, he's trying to impress
his boss so he'll get a raise.

Like Barney just did.

'Well, congratulations Barney.'

Say, me and Betty are goin'
out to celebrate tonight, Wilma.

How's about you joinin' us?

We've been savin' ourselves
for one big yahoo.

And tonight's the night.

We're going to that snazzy
night club the Copa Cave.

Oh, I'd love to, kids.

But, well, I'd like to be home
when Fred gets back from work.

Oh, come on, Wilma.

Fred will be hours yet.

Yeah, he never gets back
till early in the morning.

We hear him when he gets in.

No tippy tippy toe
that Fred.

What do you say, Wilma?

Join us, we'll be home early.

Well, since Fred will
be at work so late.

And I've heard so much
about Copa Cave.

And Fred wouldn't mind
I'm sure.

Goody, good, good.

We'll pick you up
in a half an hour.

Oh, it'll be fun.

Betty's teaching me to dance.

A one and two
and tip turn.

A one and two
and tip, cha-cha-cha.

Would you care to order
now please, perhaps?

I'd like to start off
with champagne.

Champagne for two.

And what kind, please?

Ah, the most expensive.

The most expensive?

I'm a very important client.

And imported,
make sure it's imported.

Oui monsieur.

'Cause I don't know
the difference.

Oh, I can't remember when
I've had such a wonderful time.

Mr. Slate, was right.

You do have a terrific
sense of humor.

'Yeah, Freddy the joke cracker
they call me, Miss Gravel.'

- You call me, Greta.
- Sure, Greta and you call me--

I will, every time
I get into town.

Oh, but-but, but, I'm--

Booked up far in
advance, naturally.

I'll just have to take
my chances that you'll be free.

Uh, shall we dance?

Ah, sure, sure Greta.
My pleasure.

Right this way,
here we are.

And before dinner would you
care for something to drink?

Champagne, perhaps?

'Champagne? No thanks, nothing.'

'Nothing for me.'

'Me neither, nothin'.'

Three nothings, shee.

Isn't this just thrill?

Oh, I wish Fred
were here with us.

Too bad he has to be working.

Wilma, you mind if Barney
and I dance?

This music is just like, wow.

'Oh, go right ahead.'

One and two, one and two,
scooby dooby doo.

Oh, you sure dance up
a storm, Freddy.

And you say you've
never taken a lesson?

Oh, guess I was just
born with talented feet.

Oh, our champagne's arrived.

Let's drink it while
it's still cold.

Great idea.

How am I doin', honey?

N-not bad.

Ah, but this is a
rumble, waltz faster.

Maybe we better
get back to the table.

Oh, not doin' so good, ah?

Oh, it's not that.

I-I just don't like leaving
Wilma there all alone.

'Oh, sure, sure.'

I'm gonna call home, just in
case Fred got back early.

Wowy, wo-wo-wow.
Look at these prices.

Eh, if Fred's home,
ask him to join us.

and bring some money.

I didn't expect these prices.

That dancing certainly
made me hungry.

I think I'll order now.

I'm gonna have chopped
Pteranodon liver

and mastodon chow mein.

Oh, let's see.

Holy mackerel!

What's that?

I wondered whether have any
holy mackerel on the menu.

My-my-my favorite dish.

Greta, Greta Gravel.

Wilma, Wilma Pebbles.

Not anymore,
I'm married now.

Lucky you.

Gee, Wilma, I haven't seen
you since high school.

Oh, this is..

Well, I guess my escort
just stepped out.

Wonderful fella, Wilma.
You should meet him.

Kind, attentive,
great dancer.

'Just the kinda guy
a woman can marry.'

'If she's lucky.'

'I'm already lucky.'

'That's the kind
of a guy I married.'

'Kind, faithful as a puppy dog
I was just about to call him.'

'He's been working
hard overtime.'

My date will be back
in a moment, Wilma.

Sit down and chat a while.

Don't tell me you've
never married, Greta.

You were the most
popular girl in school.

Hmph, I guess my
standards were too high.

I played hard to get and...

..well, I just didn't get got.

'Oh, I wonder what's
keeping Freddy.'

'Freddy, oh-ho, funny that's
my husband's name too.'

'While you're waiting
for your date.'

'Why don't you visit with my
friends the Rubbles a moment?'

- 'I want you to meet them.'
- 'I'd love to.'

'Wonder where the waiter is?'

I'm getting hungry.

'Mr. and Mrs. Rubble
this is Greta Gravel'


- 'Pleased to meet you.'
- 'Likewise, I'm sure.'

'Won't you sit
down and join us?'

Oh, thanks but my date
should be right back.

Oh, C'mon just
till he returns.

Well, alright.

'Perhaps when your boyfriend
gets back, Miss Gravel'

'You can both join
us for a drink.'

'Oh, no, you join us.'

'My escort has an unrestricted
expense account.'

Shall I call a cab, sir?

Never mind I'll crawl home.

Oh, Wilma, would never
believe the truth.

I can't blame her.

I-I have a hard time
believing it my-myself.

Sorry for the crowding.

These sport models are murder
with extra passengers.

I don't mind. And it's very kind
of you to drive me to my hotel.

It's not out of our way.

And say, Greta, we
have to pass my place.

How about stopping off
for a while?

Maybe Fred's back
from work.

I'd love for you
to meet him.



Poor darling, fast
asleep like a baby.

Wilma, I thought you
were at your mother's.

I didn't want to
stay any longer.

Thought you
might be lonesome.

I was.


Poor darling you must have
worked tonight till exhaustion.

Eh, worked, yeah
yeah, I'm-I'm bushed

Too tired to even change
into pajamas, huh?

Ah, ha-ha, yeah-yeah.

Well, since you're dressed,
I'd like you to meet someone.

Sure, sure.

'It's an old school chum of
mine her name is Miss Gravel.'

Oh no!

What's wrong Fred?

You look sick.

it-it-it's the mumps.

I don't see any lumps.

I-I-I it-it-it's
a new kind.

Re-reversible, that they
break out on the inside.

You better send everybody away,
it's terrible contagious.

Anything wrong, Wilma?

It's Fred, he's got
reversible mumps.

Reversible mumps?

I never heard of that and I
studied nursing at one time.

Must be something though.

Fred is pale as a ghost
and shaking like a leaf.

'Maybe we better call a doctor''

In the interim, maybe
there is something I can do.

[knocking on door]

That you, Wilma?

'No, a friend of your wife's.'

'Maybe I can ease
your suffering.'

No, go away.

I mean, away.

Here I come.
Ready or not.

Don't be afraid,
I won't hurt you.

Go away, I'll be alright
if you go away.

'This might lead to
serious complications.'

You ain't kiddin'.

What's his trouble?

So far just
understandable bashfulness.

I've got an idea how to
force him to let me check.

Maybe we'd all better just
leave him rest for a while.

'Yeah, yeah, that's just
what I need aloneness.'


Wow, that was close.


'Oh, no, you don't!'

'Ducking out on me
on the Copa Cave'

'and leaving me stuck
with the check!'

'The cat's out of the bag.'

And little hardworking
overtime Freddy is holding it.

Look, honey,
I can explain.

I'm waiting,
start lying.

Fred Flintstone steppin'
out on his own wife?

I wouldn't have believed it.

I guess that's what
you were up to.

Gallivanting around
while your wife

was visiting
her sick mother.

I'm the one that's sick now.
My own husband!


How could you, Fred?

How could you?

Doll, Wilma, don't do it.
Gimme a chance.

'I gave you a chance.
Two weeks of it.'

'And you certainly took
advantage of my absence.'

Wilma, believe me you are
making a big mistake.

The biggest.

I'm not blaming you, Greta.
You didn't know.

To you this was
just another date.


Wilma Flintstone you should
be ashamed of yourself.

[Wilma gasping]

I should be ashamed myself?

'That's ridiculous, why her?'

Yeah, I'm the one that ain't
worth wiping her feet on.

- That's right.
- Don't be such a helper.

Now listen to me
Mrs. wife and you too Betty.

You both should be grateful
that you have husbands.

What do you know about it,
you're single.


Because I didn't think
any man was good enough.

But you women who have
hard-working husbands.

You don't know
how lucky you are.

Yeah, guys like us
don't grow on trees.

Fred, here, did no wrong.

He took out an old...

..well, not a too old gal
like me to please his boss.

So that he can get a raise and
pay for all these luxuries.

So that your life could
be a little easier.

To please his boss?

Oh, Fred, I'm sorry I
never really realized.

We husbands, we are just
took for granted.

Sometimes I wonder
whether it is all worth it.

Think it over girls, before
you jump to conclusions.

'Goodnight, Wilma.'

Goodnight, Greta.

I'm sorry, Fred.

I shouldn't have
jumped to conclusions.

I really appreciate you.

So do I, Barney.

'Ah, tell us.'

We appreciate--

Not with words,
tomorrow is Sunday.

So startin'
tomorrow morning.

What we overworked unappreciated
husbands insist on is..

ta-da te-te te-te

ta-da dum-pum pe-pe

pa-pe pa-pa


Yes, Fred.

Get Barney on the phone, wife.

Yes, Fred.


[phone rings]

The phone, wife.

At once, husband-san.

Herro, this residance,
Braney Rubble.

Lord and master.


For you, lord and master.

Hello, Barney, Fred.

Say, ah...

I see by the papers that there
is a ball game tonight.

Wanna go?


Put this down in my memo, Wilma.

Ball game tonight.

'Fights tomorrow night.'

- 'Bowling next night.'
- Yes, Fred.

May Betty and I come
along on bowling night?

Naturally. Who do you think
is gonna set up the pins?

[both laughing]

Oh, Fred,
you're so good to me.

[both laughing ]






[slamming door]


'C'mon, Wilma, open the door.'