The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 15 - The X-Ray Story - full transcript

Okay, Fred.
Altogether now.

Oopsy-Daisy!

ting ting ting

crash

- He's down again.
- Try again, Barney.

You ought to go
on a diet, Fred.

Barney, you got this
coming to you.

viip

Barney's doing a good job
of keeping Fred active.

I'll say.
Look at them now.

I'll get you,
you little pipsqueak.



Fred, hey, you're skatin!
You're skatin!

- I'm skatin'!
- 'Yeah, yeah, yeah.'

viip

- Wilma.
- I know, Betty.

He's down again.

- Fred, watch out!
- Fred, watch out!

crash

You had to open
your big mouth.

[theme music]

[honks]

[honks]

preet

screech

[siren wailing]



preet

vroom

screech

screech

vroom

bam

bam

bang

mwah

[humming]

Wilma.

Oh, Wilma.

- 'Come on in, Betty.'
- What are you doing, Wilma?

'Oh, Dino's been off
his feed for some reason.'

So I'm trying to stimulate
his appetite

by reading
the can label to him.

Oh? Oh, yeah.

(Wilma)
'Now, listen to all
the goodies in here, Dino.'

'"Shlump is the best food
for your pet dinosaur'

'"because it contains
chopped pterodactyl livers'

'"tenderized crocodile ribs'

'"saber-toothed tiger giblets'

'dried turtle egg yolks,
and sea serpent fillets."'

Mmm, yummy, yum, yum.

Who could ask for anything more?

Dino's been raised on Shlump.

He's never turned
it down before.

Contains everything he needs.

Well, we ought to fix
a dinner of Shlump some night

for Fred and Barney.

[laughing]

Dinosaurs and humans
are different, Betty.

What's good for one
isn't good for the other.

'They're just different.'

And I'm for keeping it that way.
I'll make a deal with Dino.

He doesn't eat my
New York cut steaks

and I'll leave
his Shlump alone.

Oh, don't joke, Betty.
I'm worried.

- 'Oh, I'm sorry, Wilma.'
- 'Well, I'll open the can.'

(Wilma)
'He's just got
to eat something.'

Now, where did that
can opener get to?

Oh, there it is!
You come down here.

viip

[clattering]

Me and my big mouth.

[squawking]

[snoring]

(Wilma)
'Here you are, Dino.'

'I want you to eat up
all your Shlump'

'or I'll give it to the cat.'

meow

(Wilma)
'Please, Dino.'

Ew!

There he goes
into his bed again.

He hasn't eaten
for two days.

'All he wants to do is sleep.'

Well, you better get Dino
to the vets, Wilma.

Yeah. I'll call Fred.
He'll take him over.

Attaboy. Up, up, up.

That's it.
Up to the top.

'Easy does it.
Good, good.'

Oh, no! Hold it!

Hold it!

Yeow!

crash

(male #1)
'Hey, Flintstone.'

Yeah.

'Your wife wants you
on the phone.'

- That figures.
- 'Here you are, Fred.'

Yeah, Wilma.

Oh, no. You're not
interrupting.

You see, I'm just laying
around doing nothing.

[indistinct chatter]

Dino? Yeah?

Won't eat his Shlump?
That does sound serious.

'Dino loves that stuff.'

I wish you'd take him
to the vets

if you can drop
what you're doing.

I've already dropped
what I'm doing.

Okay, I'll be right home.

It was sure nice of my boss
to lend me his brand new car.

I'd never get home
with that old clunker of mine.

Poor Dino.

I wonder what's wrong with him.

Boy, what a hot ride this is.

I'm practically home already.

thud

I better remember to tell
the boss his brakes grab a bit.

Oh, I'm so glad
you're home, Fred.

I can't figure out
what's wrong with Dino.

Poor guy doesn't
want to eat, huh?

'I figured you'd be sympathetic
with that, Fred.'

Hello there, Dino boy.

bang bang bang

[clattering]

Fred, pick him up.

He'll knock everything
off the shelves.

He hasn't lost any weight yet.
That's a cinch.

Okay, Wilma.

I'll take him over to the V-E-T.

[squeals]

Fred, you shouldn't
have told him.

He hates to go to the vet.

Well, I didn't think
he could spell.

Come on, Dino. We'll go
for a nice ride in the car.

Here's a seat, Dino.

Just be patient
until the doctor calls us.

You'll be okay.

thud

I'm sorry. I didn't know
I was sitting on your tail.

- Mr. Flintstone.
- 'Yes, ma'am.'

The doctor will see you now.

Well, well, well.

He's a healthy-looking one.

Now, what seems
to be wrong with him?

- He just won't eat.
- Oh!

Tsk tsk tsk.
That's no good.

And he's sleeping
all the time.

Well, the poor animal
might be tired.

Sometimes, you know
that makes them sleepy.

'But I will examine him
in the examination room.'

'Follow me, please.'

First, we will take
the photograph.

Say, that's quite a machine,
doc. What is it?

That's a new Polarock
x-ray camera machine.

It takes instant photographs.

'Okay.'

'Hold him steady,
Mr. Flintstone

'so we get
a good picture.'

click

[buzzing]

'Und now, a simple
turn of the dial'

und here's the picture.

Ooh!

A-ah!

No wonder he's sleepy.
Look!

'He's got a dinopeptic germ.'

(Fred)
'A dinopeptic germ!'

- 'Is that dangerous?'
- 'No, no.'

(doctor)
'All dinosaurs
get it sometimes.'

'A few days rest,
and he'll be okay.'

(Fred)
'Oh, then, he'll be
alright, doc.'

Ah, yeah. Sure, sure.

A dinopeptic germ
is nothing to a dinosaur.

But if a human ever got it,
then I rather not talk about it.

It makes even
the doctor squeamish.

(Fred)
'Okay, Dino boy.
Let's go.'

You were smarter
than all of us, Dino.

You we're doing
the right thing.

Here, Miss Schultz.

File the Flintstone x-ray away.

Yes, doctor.

Fred F-L-I-N-T-S-T-O-N-E.

Flintstone.
35, Cobblestone Road.

- 'Miss Schultz.'
- Coming, doctor.

Uh-oh! What's this?

Somebody's x-ray.

Hey, I'd better take this
down to the police laboratory.

I found it out on the street.
Does it mean anything, doc?

Oh, yes, yes.

It means that this man,
Fred Flintstone

has a dinopeptic germ in him.

A dinopeptic germ?
Is that bad?

'Well, it's something
that dinosaurs get'

and it's harmless to them,
but if a human gets one..

Ooh, ooh. Oh, my, my, my.

Well, I'd rather
not talk about it.

It even makes us
doctors squeamish.

[shuddering]

- Isn't there any cure, doc?
- Oh, yes, yes. Yes, indeed.

If the patient is kept awake
and active for 72 hours

'the dinopeptic germ
conks out from frustration.'

They can attack only
when the patient is asleep.

Asleep!

Gee, I better
call him right away.

- He might decide to take a nap.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, my. No, no.
He mustn't know.

- The shock could be harmful.
- 'What should we do?'

Well, I'll go myself
and explain it to his wife.

It's the only way to save him.
The only way, the only way.

Yeah, Dino's okay.

The vet said he'd sleep
it off, whatever it is.

[snoring]

(Wilma)
'Well, he's doing
a good job of that.'

Yeah, I think I'll go over
and see if Barney's home yet.

'Okay, Fred.'

[door opens and closes]

Ah, I better
get dinner started.

knock-knock

That's someone
at the back door.

I wonder who that could be.

- Mrs. Fred Flintstone.
- Yes.

I am Dr. Sandstone.
How are you?

Before I answer that

am I being charged
for this visit?

'No, no. Oh, no, no.'

'Mrs. Flintstone, it's about
your husband, your husband.'

I waited until you were
alone to tell you.

'Tell me? Tell me what?'

What you must do
to shake off dinopeptitis.

- Dinopeptitis, what is that?
- 'What is it. What is it?'

'It's something that
dinosaurs get, dinosaurs.'

But this x-ray shows that
your husband has it.

But he can be saved, saved.

Saved, how?

'You must see that he doesn't
fall asleep for 72 hours.'

Seventy-two hours!

And keep him active all
the time. Then he'll be okay.

- Oh, I will, I will.
- 'Good, good, good.'

'Call me if you need me,
and remember'

'you must keep him awake.'

Well, thank you, doctor.

Oh, my goodness.

- 'Oh, Betty.'
- Yes, Wilma.

Can you come over
a minute, Betty?

'Oh, sure.
Be right there.'

- Dinopeptitis!
- Yes.

And to save Fred

I have to keep him active
and awake for 72 hours.

And he doesn't know
he's in danger?

'No. We don't dare tell him.'

'The doctor said the shock
would be harmful.'

Oh! Well, after dinner,
Barney and I'll be over

and we'll go out some place

'and we'll all help keep
Fred awake for 72 hours.'

Oh, thanks, Betty.

You're both wonderful neighbors.

Betty, that was the best
brontosaurus ribs I ever tasted.

Thank you, Barney.

Yeah, after a meal like that,
a nap will be just the thing.

- 'Get up from there, Barney!'
- Why, Betty?

'We're going out
on the town tonight.'

You're kidding, Betty.

No, we're going out and whoop it
up tonight with Wilma and Fred.

It's a gag, Betty.
You can't mean it.

'It's no gag.
We have to do it for Fred.'

For Fred?

He's got a dinopeptic germ

and he must stay awake
for 72 hours to get rid of it.

A dinopeptic germ.
Hey, uh, what is it?

'Well, it's-it's a-a,
well, it's dangerous.'

'And Fred doesn't know
he has it.'

You mean, you can have a
dinopeptic germ and not know it?

Yes. Now, you sit down, and I'll
explain it to you, Barney.

I get it.

And we've got to help Fred
stay awake for 72 hours.

- We have to help save him.
- Yeah.

Because Fred is a wonderful
friend and neighbor.

Oh, he sure is.

And besides,
he owes me twelve bucks.

Boy, what a day!

A boulder falls on me.

Dino gives me a scare.
I'm glad it's over.

'A hot shower..'

'...sure relaxes a guy.'

I'll sure sleep tonight.

Now, into my pajamas,
quick glance at the headlines

and then I will hit the sack.

Boy, this paper's heavy.

I'll just look
at the sports page.

Fred should've been
through by this time.

I wonder what he's doing.

Am I tired.

I've never been so sleepy.

I better go see
what's keeping him.

[snoring]

(Wilma)
'Fred!'

bang

What happened? What happened?
What, what, what?

Fred, you were
closing your eyes.

Yeah, yeah. That's right.
I was closing my eyes.

Right. Have they passed
a law against it?

'Well, you can't.'

'Uh, Betty and Barney
will be over any minute'

and you're not dressed.

I'm dressed for where
I'm going, bed.

'You can't go to bed.
We have a date.'

- A date?
- Yes.

I told Betty that we'd
go out with them tonight.

That's a laugh.

When I left Barney

he said he was hitting
the sack early tonight.

(Barney)
'Yahoo! Aren't you
ready yet, Fred?'

We'll have a ball tonight,
Freddie boy.

Razzmatazz

Ricky-ticky-ticky

Sh-boom sh-boom sh-boom

Barney, are you out of your
peanut-sized mind?

Stop, Fred.

You're wrinkling
Barney's jacket.

You were too tired
to go bowling tonight.

What happened?

Oh, well, I got
my second wind, Fred.

Well, I can knock
that out of you.

Stop it, Fred,
and get dressed.

We haven't been out for ages,
and we're going out tonight.

I am tired, and I say we are
staying home tonight. Home!

H-O-O-M-E!

- Isn't this fun, Fred?
- Fun..

Fred! Open your eyes, Fred.

[mumbling]

Great, great, great.
Great band. Great, great.

[snoring]

Well, Fred seems to be
doing okay so far, Barney.

- Barney!
- Oh, yeah. Oh, oh.

Yeah, yeah, Betty.
Oh, I'm bushed too.

Well, it's up to us to keep
Fred awake, so snap out of it.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

Skinamarinky-doo-doo

Doo-doo-dee-doo

Skady-doo-doo-doo

Ricky-tick-ticky-doo-doo

Fred! Keep your eyes open.
Everybody's looking.

Ah, he'll be okay
for a while.

clang

(all)
Fred!

[snoring]

Hey, uh, come on, Fred.
Drink another cup of coffee.

[muttering]

Coffee keeps me awake.

[gargling]

Oh, we've got a lot more
stops to make.

gulp gulp gulp

(Betty)
'Come on, boys. Let's go.'

A rooty-toot-tooty
and a skiddly-doo-doo

And a razzmatazz
and a rooty-rooty-rooty

Boom boom boom sh-boom

Ah, what is with you, guys?

Let's go home.

[jazz music]

Come on, Fred.
Come on. Keep dancing.

It's the nuttiest thing
I ever heard of.

thud

Uh-oh! Hold it, Betty.
Fred's down again.

Hurry, Barney.

Black coffee coming up.

Quick, Barney.
He's falling asleep.

[mumbling]

I-I-I don't want any coffee.

[gargling]

Come on, Fred.
Just three more cups.

[grunts]

Remember, the night's
still young.

gulp gulp gulp

Come on, Barney.
Make him get out of the car.

He won't let go
of the steering wheel.

Pull harder.
We've got to keep him active.

[creaking]

- They're coming now.
- That's a boy, Fred.

We got some rockin'
and rollin' to do.

What's with you guys?
Have you all flipped?

I got to go
to work tomorrow.

[instrumental music]

Come on, Fred.
Just move your feet.

Keep dancing.

Fred, Fred.

thud

Fred!

Hot stuff coming up, Fred.

Hurry, Barney.

Down the old hatch,
Freddie pal.

- Nice, hot coffee.
- Oh, no, no, no.

No more coffee.

That's it.

- Get him on his feet, Barney.
- Yeah, keep him active.

Come on, Fred.
On your feet.

Yeah, boy.
We're getting out of here.

All that coffee will
keep you going now, Fred.

[water gurgling]

Put him in the car,
Barney.

The fresh air
will do him good.

(Barney)
'Yeah. Oh, come on, Fred.
Okay, in you go.'

thud

- Oh, dear.
- He drank too much coffee.

Looks like one of them
new Rock Stone missiles.

How's about going home?

What are we trying
to prove?

Just keep your eyes open.
Please, Fred.

- 'Well, here we are, Fred.'
- Ah, home at last.

Barney, help Fred in, please.

Yeah, we'll see you
inside, boys.

Ah, Barney, Barney, Barney.
I've never been so tired.

Just keep going, Fred.
We'll be inside in a minute.

(Fred)
Boy, am I glad to be home.

- Hold your foot up, Fred.
- Oh, thank you.

Thank you for putting
my slippers on, Barney boy.

Fred's so groggy,
he doesn't even know

Barney's putting
skates on him.

I'm getting
dead tired myself, Betty.

Me too, Wilma.

We'll sit this one out, huh?

Yeah. Barney can take care
of Fred for a while.

Come on, Fred.
Let's go.

(Fred)
'Go, go?
We just got here.'

- W-where are we going?
- We're going skatin', Fred.

viip

Skatin', I don't know
how to skate.

Why didn't you say so, Fred?

You didn't ask me,
you numbskull!

bang

bam

- Fred's down again.
- Help him up, Barney.

I'm tryin', I'm tryin'.

Okay, Fred.
Altogether now.

Oopsy-Daisy!

ting ting ting

crash

- He's down again.
- Try again, Barney.

You ought to go
on a diet, Fred.

Barney, you got this
coming to you.

viip

Barney's doing a good job
of keeping Fred active.

I'll say.
Look at them now.

I'll get you,
you little pipsqueak.

Fred, hey, you're skatin!
You're skatin!

- I'm skatin'!
- 'Yeah, yeah, yeah.'

viip

- Wilma.
- I know, Betty.

He's down again.

- Fred, watch out!
- Fred, watch out!

crash

You had to open
your big mouth.

Get up, Fred,
before you fall asleep.

And what's wrong
with falling asleep?

I can't figure out
what you all are up to.

But it's all over.
I'm going home and go to bed.

'And from the looks
of you hotshots'

you could use some rest too.

Any of you middle-aged
teenagers want a ride?

- Come along.
- He won't get far.

I siphoned the gas
out of his car.

[sputtering]

Oh, boy! Out of gas.

- I'll never get any sleep.
- 'So what, Fred?'

We're walking home
just for the exercise, anywho.

(Barney)
Yup. Walking can be fun.

Right, Fred?

[gibberish]

Oh, how are you
going to keep

Fred awake
for 72 hours, Wilma?

I don't know, but we just have
to, or else the doctor said..

That's it, Fred.

Keep walking and don't
close your eyes.

Ah, yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure, Barney.

Oh, thank goodness!
We're home, Wilma.

- My feet are killing me.
- Home! Oh, boy!

- My bed.
- Wait, Fred! Wait!

- Beddy-bye, here I come.
- Wilma, he's going to bed.

- Come on, Betty.
- Come on, Barney.

No, no, no.
Let me sleep.

- Come on, Fred.
- On you feet.

It's for your own good, Fred.
You got to stay awake.

Let's give him
a cold shower.

Maybe that will
snap him out of it.

(Barney)
'Hey, that's
a good idea, Wilma.'

All set over here.
Holler when you're ready.

- 'Okay, he's in the shower.'
- One cold shower coming up.

slurp

Let him have it.

(Fred)
'Yeow!'

What's the big idea? You trying
to freeze me to death?

I just thought
you might like a shower

before going to bed, dear.

[mockingly]
You thought I might
like a shower

before going to bed, dear.

Well, if I wanted one, I..

(Barney)
'Uh-oh! There he goes again.'

- 'Catch him, Barney. Quick!'
- I got him. I got him.

thud

Bring me some toothpicks, Wilma.
I got an idea.

Are you sure
it will work, Barney?

(Barney)
'Positive. Watch.'

- 'Hello, Fred.'
- Oh, hi, Barney.

'See? The toothpicks
keep his eyes open.'

'Pretty neat, huh?
He he he.'

snap

[snoring]

'Uh-oh! His eyelids
are too heavy.'

We've got to keep him awake.
Barney, he mustn't fall asleep.

How about making
some noise?

I have an old horn
from last New Year's Eve.

Oh, sure, sure.
That's it.

I should've thought
of that in the first place.

Happy New Year, Fred.
He he he.

preet preet preet

It's no use, girls.
I can't keep him awake.

- Don't go to sleep, Fred.
- His eyes are closing fast.

'You'll have to tell him
what the trouble is.'

It's the only
thing to do.

It'll give him
a fighting chance.

You're right.
Fred, can you here me?

Oh, yes, yes, I hear you.

The doctor,
got that, Fred?

Doctor showed me
your x-ray, understand?

Doctor, doctor, x-ray.
I understand, yeah.

Hey, I saw a movie
like this once.

Oh, this girl took
sleeping pills and--

Oh, quiet, Barney!

The doctor says
if you fall asleep..

[stammering]
Doctor...fall asleep.

- You're a goner.
- I'm a goner.

You get it?
You're a goner.

I-I get it.
I'm, I'm a goner.

Goodnight.
I'm a goner!

D-did you hear that?
I'm, I'm a goner.

'Wilma, don't just stand there.
Help me. Do something!'

Keep me awake, Barney.
Barney, Barney, Barney.

Get me some coffee.
Lot's of coffee.

Coming, Fred. Coming.
Coffee coming up.

Oh, thanks, Barney.
Thank you.

gulp gulp gulp

That's what the doctor said.
I-I got to stay awake.

Oh, I-I'm a goner.
The doctor said that.

The doctor!

What doctor? Hold it!

- Hold it!
- What's the matter, Fred?

'Wilma, what doctor told you
that I had to stay awake?'

The doctor who had
your x-ray, Fred.

My x-ray?
I never had an x-ray.

Yes, you did.
Here, it's got your name on it.

That's why we had
to keep you awake.

'You had a dinopeptic germ.'

(Fred)
'A dinopeptic germ?
Oh, no, no, no!'

- What's the matter, Fred?
- This is Dino's x-ray.

- Dino's!
- 'Yes, Dino's.'

You mean we kept you awake
all night for nothing?

Oh, Fred. We're sorry.

Hold it! Hold it!
Hold it!

We can all save our apologies
for the morning.

I wouldn't want
to wake him up for that.

[snoring]

mwah

(Betty and Wilma)
'Isn't that cute.'

[theme music]

[yawns]

thud

thud

bang

Wilma!

bang bang bang

'Wilma!'

'Come on, Wilma.
Open this door!'

'Wilma!'