The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 16 - The Gambler - full transcript

Hey, uh, Fred. Open up.

- 'What do you want?'
- How about a game of marbles?

Marbles?

Come right in, boy. I need
somebody to practice with.

'I have to get real good.'

(Barney)
'Why, Fred?'

I got my reasons.

Hey, tell you what, Fred

we'll play for a nickel
if you wanna bet?

A bet bet bet..

A bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet..



[theme music]

[blows whistle]

screech

[siren blaring]

[blows whistle]

[tires screeching]

[music continues]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

bam

wham

thud

pop

[music continues]



[instrumental music]

[women giggling]

These old snapshots
are a scream.

Look, Betty,
here's a baby picture

of Fred his mother gave me.

'In those days they used
to pose him on a bear rug.'

(Betty)
'And that's not all
that was bare.'

[laughing]

'Aw. This is the day
Fred and I got married.'

Oh, gee.

Doesn't Fred look
handsome in tails.

(Wilma)
'Yeah, genuine
black leather too.'

And here we are on our honeymoon
at Bed Rock Race Track.

(Betty)
'Sure looks like
Fred was having fun.'

And here we're at
the High-a-laya Stone

for the derby.

(Wilma)
'Uh, Fred had
a wonderful honeymoon.'

'He bet a three-horse parlay
and a daily double and won.'

Sounds real romantic.

(Wilma)
'This was taken
at Holly Rock Park.'

'That was the day
Fred had a sure thing.'

'He bet everything we had.'

(Betty)
'And lost?'

Yeah. I was miffed
at Fred about that.

Miffed? I'd have
screamed my head off.

'In those days, Fred would
have bet on anything.'

Well, whatever cured
Fred of betting, Wilma?

Well, I had him go
to a psychiatrist.

How did you get him to go?

Well, I bet a month's
house money at poker with him

and he lost.

That's right. A real gambler
never goes back on his bets.

They'll skip house payments,
the kid's lunch money

but gambling debts
are debts of honor.

Right.

Fred got so bad if anyone
even mentioned the word bet

he'd quiver,
roll his eyes

and make funny noises
like this.

Bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet.

Oh, you poor dear.

That's why I made
him go to a doctor.

Betting Freddy they all
called me when I was a kid.

Anytime anyone
said the word bet

something came over me.

I'd hear bells, whistles.

I'd go bet bet bet
b-b-bet b-b-bet.

I-I-I just have to bet.
I couldn't help myself.

'It was that way
all the time I was a kid.'

Hmm.

And then what happened
when you grew up

and heard the word bet?

'I'd hear louder bells
and whistles'

and more bet bet bet
b-b-bet b-b-bet b-b-bet..

[panting]

But I always figured
I had the willpower

to quit anytime I wanted to.

You are kidding
yourself, Flintstone.

You have become
a compulsive better.

I have not.

Yes, yes, you have.

I'll bet you
six to five, I haven't.

Aha! See what
I mean, Flintstone?

Oh!

It's really got me,
huh, doc?

Yes, yes, and unless you stop

you're gonna lose your home,
your wife, everything.

Yeah. I see that now.

You're the type of better

that losing only makes
you more determined.

That's right.
I'm only happy when I win.

I am real nice winner.

But, ooh,
what a sorehead loser.

There's a lot of people
like that.

You should never bet again.

Doc, I'll do it.
I'll never bet again.

And Fred never has bet again?

Never. He's been
an ideal husband ever since.

(Fred)
'Wilma!'

Your ideal husband
is home, Wilma.

I didn't say he was perfect.
He's ideal as husbands go.

Every night when I come home..

Oh, hello, Betty.

(Betty)
Hi, Fred.

Hello, Fred.

We were lookin' over
some old snapshots, Fred.

And, say, you were a chubby
little rascal, weren't you

with your bear rug showing?

Betty.

(Betty)
'Yes, Fred.'

Out, out, out!

(Betty)
Yes, Fred.

[Betty giggling]

Night, Wilma.
Call you tomorrow.

Wilma, I have told you
a thousand times

'don't show anyone
that picture!'

I hate to leave
and miss anything.

But, um, I better
get home to Barney.

[giggling]

Fred, you shouldn't get
all upset about nothing.

Well, all I get around
here is aggravation.

I come home, no newspaper.

Big deal. The newspaper isn't
here. The end of the world.

It'll be the end
of that paperboy

when I get my hands on him.

Arnold may have been kept
after school or something.

Well I'm gonna find that kid
and cancel my paper.

thud

For some reason Fred and Arnold
always have a thing going.

That kid, Arnold, he's got
no sense of responsibility.

He's gettin' paid
to deliver the paper on time

but he never does.

And no wonder.

(Fred)
'Playing marbles
instead of delivering my paper.'

- 'Hey, Arnold.'
- Hi, Mr. Flintstone.

Arnold, I'm cancelling my paper.

You gotta learn
to run a business.

I am through as your customer.

I'm sorry,
Mr. Flintstone.

You have to learn to do
what you're supposed to do.

You'd like to pay me
what you owe me, sir?

Of course, how much is it?

Twenty two dollars
and twelve cents.

Twenty two dollars?

'That's right, Mr. Flintstone.'

You haven't paid me
for a long time.

You kept saying, "Put it on
my bill, put it on my bill."

I didn't know it was so much.

Ah, tell you what, Arnie boy,
forget what I said.

You keep delivering the paper.

I don't want you
to lose me as a customer.

I can't afford to lose
you now, Mr. Flintstone.

Good. And to show you
there's no hard feelings

I'll shoot you
a game of marbles.

'Okay, Mr. Flintstone.'

But it's only fair to warn you.

I used to be a marble champ
when I was your age.

I'll bet you a marble,
I'd beat you. If you wanna bet.

Bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet..

[panting]

Eh...not a marble, Arnie.

Let's make it interesting.

We'll play for the 22 bucks
I owe you. Double or nothing.

- But, but, Mr. Flintstone--
- Here's the way we'll do it.

We'll keep shooting 'em till
one of us knocks the marble

right outta the ring. Okay?

But $22, Mr. Flintstone?

Think big, Arnold.
Come on, my boy.

- 'You go first.'
- If you say so, Mr. Flintstone.

clink

'You owe me $44,
Mr. Flintstone.'

'I'm thinking big now.'

How lucky can you get.

We'll, uh, do that again.

Double or nothing,
and I'll go first this time.

Okay, Mr. Flintstone.

Cut out that
heavy breathing, Arnold.

- You're trying to rattle me?
- No, Mr. Flintstone.

Well, watch it.

Yes, Mr. Flintstone.

That's it. Go, go, go.

Hit it, hit it.

Yabba dabba doo doo ooh..

'Nice try, Mr. Flintstone.
But you missed.'

Now it's my turn,
Mr. Flintstone.

Well stop talking
so much and shoot.

Okay, Mr. Flintstone.

Heckle, heckle, heckle.

[babbling]

clink

(Arnold)
'That's $88, you owe me,
Mr. Flintstone.'

What happened?

I promised Wilma
I wouldn't bet anymore.

I'm back to being
Bettin' Freddy again.

I can't play anymore,
Mr. Flintstone.

You can pay me now.

I cannot, I don't carry
that kind of dough on me.

Don't you trust me?

Sure, I trust you,
Mr. Flintstone

because you're a real sport
and a real sport never welches.

'He may not pay
for his newspapers'

'but a wager to a real sport
is a debt of honor.'

Where do these kids
pick up this stuff?

You're right, Arnie.

Fred Flintstone always has
paid off his debts of honor.

You come to the house
later and I'll pay you.

Okay, Mr. Flintstone.

I was saving that money
for the lodge convention.

Now I have to pay it
to that kid.

Oh, Mr. Flintstone.
You forgot your paper.

'Oh yeah, Arnold. So I did.'

'Here, catch.'

clang

thud

Sometimes, I think he
does that on purpose.

Hiya, Fred.
I see you got your paper.

I got it, alright,
in more ways than one.

What's the matter, Fred?

Hi, Fred. Dinner's ready.

I'm not hungry.

Not hungry?

Fred used to go without food
when he was on a betting kick.

But I know that's not it.

For one reason,
he hasn't got any money.

Ah, there's the little beauty.

One place a wife would never
think of looking for money

is in the holes
of a bowling ball.

[mumbling]

The money is gone.

Now don't panic Freddy boy.
It's got to be here.

(Fred)
Wilma!

Uh-oh. Something's gone wrong.

Yes, Fred.

Wilma, I had some money
stashed away in the holes

of my bowling ball.
Did you touch it?

Oh yes, Fred.
I meant to tell you.

'The men came and I had
to give them some money.'

Oh boy. The men came.

What men?

The men came
to repossess the TV set

because you haven't
been making payments.

Just as they were taking it

I happened to remember
the money in the bowling ball.

Happened to remember
the money in the bowling ball?

And how did you
happen to remember

something you didn't know about?

I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Um, I was dusting and happened
to run across the money.

Well, ain't I the lucky guy.

What a good housekeeper I have.

She even dusts the holes
in my bowling ball.

Oh lay off, Fred.
The TV set is all paid up.

'It's ours and nobody'll
take it from us.'

[knocking on door]

(Wilma)
'Oh hello, Arnold.'

'Fred. Arnold wants to see you.'

'He says you'll know
what it's all about.'

I'll see him.

Fred, now be nice to Arnold.
He likes you, Fred.

Well he's done nothing lately
to endear himself to me.

- Hi, Mr. Flintstone.
- Hi, Arnold.

Arnie my boy,
something has come up

and I will need
a little more time.

I'll get the money
to you as soon as I can.

But, you understand,
don't you, Arnie?

I understand, Mr. Flintstone.
You're welching.

'It's hard to believe.'

'Like you said, sir,
"A debt of honor."'

But I'll see you around, sir.

Hey, Arnie.
You got me wrong, Arnold.

Fred Flintstone
doesn't welch on a bet.

Tell you what, Arnold.

You get your wagon,
I'll give you my television set

for your clubhouse to hold
until I can pay you the money.

Okay, if it'll make you
feel better, Mr. Flintstone.

Right I'll get the set, buddy.

Good. Wilma is in the kitchen.

What's a TV set

when a man's honor is at stake?

Don't forget, Arnold, I get it
back when I raise the money.

Okay, anytime,
Mr. Flintstone.

Good time to catch up
on my reading

now that the TV's gone.

- 'Fred?'
- Yes, dear?

I went to turn on the TV set
and it's gone!

Oh, heh heh.

I forgot to tell you, Wilma,
I loaned the TV to Arnold.

You loaned the TV to Arnold?

Well, I got thinking Arnold's
Boys' Club hasn't a TV set.

I thought it'd be nice if they
had TV for a couple of evenings.

Mmm, okay.

A couple of evenings.

But I want the set
back by Friday.

Boy, how am I gonna
get that TV set back?

It's a cinch.
I can't raise the money.

Hey, I could practice
up on my marbles

beat Arnold and win it back
on one double or nothing bet.

Bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet.

[panting]

What excuse does Fred give

for being closed up in the
bedroom playing marbles, Wilma?

No excuse at all, Betty.
What excuse is there?

Any grown man that plays marbles
hasn't got his marbles.

After we get our hair dried
and set we'll go home

and I'll get Barney
to go over with Fred.

Good idea. Maybe Barney can
find out what this is all about.

Gee, Betty. I don't wanna
play marbles with Fred.

I hung up my marble bag
the day I discovered girls.

[chuckling]

I want you to go over to Fred
and play marbles with him.

Wilma's worried
and you can help.

- 'I won't do it.'
- Oh yes you will.

- Oh, no, I won't.
- You will.

- I won't.
- Will!

Won't!

[knocking]

Hey, uh, Fred. Open up.

- 'What do you want?'
- How about a game of marbles?

Marbles?

Come right in, boy. I need
somebody to practice with.

'I have to get real good.'

(Barney)
'Real good at marbles?
Why, Fred?'

I got my reasons.

Hey, tell you what, Fred

we'll play for a nickel
if you wanna bet?

A bet bet bet..

A bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet..

[panting]

Okay, Barney, you're on.
But don't tell Wilma.

Okay, Fred. I won't.

'Whoops! Tough luck,
you missed, Barney.'

Now it's my turn.

toing

That's it. You owe me
a nickel, Barney.

Well, that was a lucky shot,
Fred. Hey, let's do it again.

Double or nothing.
Is it a bet?

B-b-bet bet bet..

Bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet..

[panting]

It was sure nice of Barney to go
over and play marbles with Fred.

Oh, Barney's glad to help out.

I told him to find out what's
with Fred and the marble kick.

'Oh. Here comes Barney, Wilma.'

Did you find out
anything, Barney?

I sure did.

(Wilma and Betty)
Well, what did you find out?

I found out that Fred Flintstone
is no friend of mine.

What's that supposed
to mean, Betty?

I don't know.

Betty, did you happen to notice
what Barney was carrying

when he left your house?

Um-hmm. Our TV set.

That's what I thought. But why?

I don't know.
Let's find out.

Yeah, let's.

There's something funny
going on with TV sets lately.

Okay, there it is, Fred.

That's swell, Barney.
Nobody can say you're a welcher.

Well, uh, you won
fair and square, Fred.

(Wilma)
'Fred, what's going on?'

Oh, heh heh heh.

I, uh, I, uh, told Barney
I loaned our TV

to Arnold's Boys' Club
and good old Barney, he said

and I quote, "You can have mine
until you get yours back."

Isn't that nice of him?

Fred Flintstone, you give
that set back to Barney.

You heard what the lady
said, Fred. You heard it.

You, Barney, are a false friend.

(Barney)
'Right, Fred.'

And we false friends like
to watch our TV programs.

Thanks, Wilma.

(Wilma)
'Don't mention it.'

I better go to Arnold
about our TV

make a deal with him.

This must be it. Boys' Club.

- Hey, Arnold.
- 'What's the password?'

Don't give me that password
stuff. Come on out, Arnold.

thud

Who is it? Somebody knocked?

Yeah, me, Arnold.

Oh, it's you, Mr. Flintstone.
I didn't recognize your voice.

- Our TV was on.
- My TV, you mean.

Oh. You have the money,
Mr. Flintstone?

'Eh...well, Arnie, um,
as a matter of fact I haven't.'

But I thought maybe
I can have it back

until I got the money.

Gee, Mr. Flintstone,
much as I'd like to

but I just couldn't.

Why not?

'Because it would spoil the
lesson in good sportsmanship'

'you're teachin' us kids.'

I see, I see. Okay, okay.

'But my wife isn't being
a good sport about this.'

Gee, Mr. Flintstone.
I didn't suggest that we bet.

Bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet.

[panting]

Come on, Arnie boy.
One game, double or nothing.

If you say so,
Mr. Flintstone.

- What'll you put up?
- My car?

Unh, I'm too young
to drive a car.

'How about a washing machine?'

Ha ha, oh, that's a good one,
Mr. Flintstone

but what would we do with it?

But we could use some
furniture for our clubhouse.

Okay, okay. My living room sofa
against the TV set.

'Alright, Mr. Flintstone.'

Heh heh heh.

The kid doesn't realize
I've been practicing.

I'm ready, sir.

(man on TV)
'Next week, same station,
we will bring you'

'another thrilling episode
of "The Unmentionables."'

Hey, that's sure
an exciting program.

(Wilma)
'Thanks, Betty for
letting me watch TV.'

(Betty)
'Don't mention it, Wilma.'

It doesn't sound like Fred
to lend his TV set to anybody.

Even a Boys' Club.

No it doesn't.

But I'm glad Fred that
was big-hearted enough

to help the boys.

Um, something sounds
kinda fishy to me.

'I'll go see if Fred's
home yet, Betty.'

Wait, Wilma. Barney and I
will go over with you.

I just can't stay mad at Fred.

Sometimes he does
such nice things.

I still think there's
something fishy about it.

Well, Fred isn't home yet.

I'll make some coffee.

You two sit down
and get comfortable.

Sit down? On what?

(Betty)
'The furniture's all gone.'

Well, that does it.

I know Fred's betting again
when all the furniture's gone.

I've had five years of that.

'Somebody must have started
Fred on that kick again.'

[thinking]
We'll play for a nickel,
Fred, if you wanna bet?

(Fred)
Bet bet bet b-b-bet b-b-bet.

[panting]

Okay. You're on.

pop

Now that he's started,
he might not be able to stop.

We'll lose everything!
Our house, our car..

(Barney)
'Stop, stop.
It's all my fault.'

I'm to blame. I'm the one
that got him started again.

I didn't know his weakness.

I'm sorry, Wilma.

That's alright, Betty.

At least I know where
our television set is.

And I'm going to get it.

You should, Wilma.

Whoever heard of lending
a TV set to a bunch of kids?

I don't know exactly where
the Boys' Clubhouse is.

Mmm. Oh, there it is, Wilma.

Right. Boys' Club.

[tires screech]

Boy's always seem to want
to belong to Boys' Clubs.

Until they grow up.
Then they join Men's Clubs.

Hey, boys. Open up!
We want to speak to you.

(Arnold)
'Go on, beat it!
No girls allowed!'

Much as I hate to admit it,
we're not girls.

We're women.

(Arnold)
'Women? Those are
the worst kinda girls.'

Arnold, you open this door.

thud

Oh, hello, Mrs. Flintstone.
I didn't know it was you.

Thought you were a girl
and then you said--

Never mind that.

I wanna talk to you
about that TV set.

Oh, certainly. Come in, ladies.

(Betty)
Wilma, look.

I'm looking.
It looks like my house.

(Betty)
'No wonder, it's all
your furniture.'

Makes a nice clubroom.

Yeah. It looks better
here than at home.

Arnold, just how did you
furnish your clubhouse?

Well, we couldn't have
without Mr. Flintstone.

He's a real nice man.

(all boys)
'Hurray for Mr. Flintstone!'

We think Mr. Flintstone is tops.

Come on, Betty. I wouldn't
have the heart to take it back.

No. Not after Fred
let them have it all.

You know, Betty,
this could work out fine.

How, Wilma?

Well, I've been after Fred
for a year to get new furniture

but he's refused.

Yeah, men think
furniture never wears out

or goes out of style.

Right. But now's my chance
to redo the living room.

Uh-oh. I just remembered
I haven't the down payment.

I used the money
I found Fred's bowling ball.

Fred's bowling ball?

'Yeah. It was stuffed
in the finger holes.'

Bowling ball, hmm?

You know, Wilma,
Barney has a bowling ball

and if there's anything there
I'll lend it to you.

Ooh, hoo-hoo. Thanks, Betty.

Well, after all
it's found money.

Come on, Wilma, step on it.

[revving]

[tires screeching]

[footsteps]

(both)
'Yabba dabba doo!'

(Wilma)
'If Barney says anything, tell
him you found it while dusting.'

[footsteps]

(both)
Cha-a-arge!

[clanging]

Hey, Fred, you can't spend

the rest of your life
in a trash can.

You're right, Barney.

I won't have long to live anyway
when Wilma catches up with me.

Fred, I feel responsible

for starting you back
on that betting routine.

No, no, no. It's-it's my fault.

Never-the-none-the-less

I'm gonna give you the money
to pay off your bets to Arnold

and get your furniture back.

I didn't know you had any
dough stashed away, Barney.

That's one reason
I have it, Fred.

You didn't know I had it.

And the other reason is

that Betty would never think for
looking for it where I hid it.

You sit right there, Fred,
and I'll get it.

'A fella needs
a little fun money hidden.'

'You never know
what might turn up.'

A little dough stashed away
in the holes of a bowling ball

'saves a lot of arguing.'

- Barney.
- 'Yes, Fred.'

Does Betty do a lot of dusting?

'Why, uh, yeah.
She's always dusting.'

I'll bet that dough has been
dusted right out of that ball.

Fred, you're right!
Betty beat me to it.

It figured. Forget it, Barney.

But I want you to know
I appreciate the offer.

You know I may forget it some
time, but you're a real pal.

However, we are stuck.

You know the old rules about
money hidden around the house.

Yeah, finders keepers.

Well, I may as well
go in and face the music

about losing the furniture.

I'll go with you, Fred.

Hey, Barney, look!

'I don't get it. The house
has all new furniture.'

Wow-wee! This must've
cost plenty of money, Fred.

Yeah, but whose money?

(Wilma)
'Oh, Fred. How do
you like it, dear?'

Cave Dweller Modern.

Betty loaned me some money
she found while dusting.

Finders keepers.
You know, Barney.

Yeah. I know.

So, help me,
I'll never bet again.

There's a better way.

- Barney.
- Yes, Fred.

(Fred)
'Here's a rag for you
and one for me.'

Well, uh, what's
the rag for, Fred?

(Fred)
'Dusting, what else?'

We might get lucky

and find some money
to help pay for all this.

Right, Fred.

[both laughing]

[theme music]

toing

[music continues]

[yawns]

[music continues]

[clinks]

thud

boing

thud

[rattling]

Wilma!

[knocking]

'Wilma!'

'Come on, Wilma!
Open this door!'

[music continues]

'Wilma!'

[music continues]