The Fall Guy (1981–1986): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Rich Get Richer - full transcript

♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE
KIND TO KISS AND TELL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE BEEN
SEEN WITH FARRAH ♪

♪ I'VE NEVER BEEN
WITH ANYTHING LESS ♪

♪ THAN A NINE SO FINE ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN ON FIRE
WITH SALLY FIELD ♪

♪ GONE FAST WITH
A GIRL NAMED BO ♪

♪ BUT SOMEHOW THEY
JUST DON'T END UP AS MINE ♪

♪ IT'S A DEATH-DEFYIN'
LIFE I LEAD ♪

♪ I TAKE MY CHANCES ♪

♪ I DIE FOR A LIVIN' IN
THE MOVIES AND TV ♪

[Siren Wailing]



♪ BUT THE HARDEST
THING I EVER DO ♪

♪ IS WATCH MY LEADING LADIES ♪

♪ KISS SOME OTHER GUY
WHILE I'M BANDAGIN' MY KNEE ♪

♪ I MIGHT FALL FROM
A TALL BUILDIN' ♪

♪ I MIGHT ROLL A BRAND-NEW CAR ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MADE
REDFORD SUCH A STAR ♪

♪♪ [Women Vocalizing]

♪ I'VE NEVER SPENT
MUCH TIME IN SCHOOL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE TAUGHT
LADIES PLENTY ♪

♪ IT'S TRUE I HIRE MY
BODY OUT FOR PAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I'VE GOTTEN BURNED
OVER CHERYL TIEGS ♪

♪ BLOWN UP FOR RAQUEL WELCH ♪



♪ BUT WHEN I WIND UP IN
THE HAY, IT'S ONLY HAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I MIGHT JUMP AN
OPEN DRAWBRIDGE ♪

♪ OR TARZAN FROM A VINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MAKES EASTWOOD
LOOK SO FINE ♪♪

[Colt Narrating] THIS IS THE STORY OF
ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT UNSUNG HEROES.

I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN HIM, BUT
YOU NEVER KNEW WHO HE WAS.

YOU'VE CHEERED FOR
HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM,

WOMEN HAVE WANTED
TO DIE FOR HIM.

BUT DID HE EVER GET ANY
CREDIT? OR THE GIRL? NO.

HE WAS WHAT WE CALL A STUNTMAN.

AND THE REASON I'M TALKIN'
SO FONDLY ABOUT HIM IS...

WELL, BECAUSE IT'S
ME, COLT SEAVERS.

ANYWAY, PICTURE WORK ISN'T
WALL-TO-WALL EMPLOYMENT.

SO MAYBE YOU WONDER HOW A
GUY KEEPS HIS HEAD TOGETHER.

WELL, ONE WAY IS TO
WAIT BY THE PHONE...

AND WAIT... AND WAIT.

THE OTHER IS TO TAKE AN OCCASIONAL
JOB FOR THE COURT SYSTEM...

OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,

WHERE A MAN IS CONSIDERED
INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE...

GET OUT OF JAIL ON
WHAT WE CALL BAIL.

AND THEY RUN LIKE HELL.

THAT'S WHERE I COME IN. I SOMETIMES
PICK UP RENT MONEY TRYIN' TO FIND THEM...

AND BRING THEM BACK TO JUSTICE.

"A" CAMERA READY.
"B" CAMERA READY.

"C" CAMERA READY. [Man On
Speaker] OKAY, FELLAS, LOOK SHARP!

HERE COMES THE PLANE.

HEADS UP, GUYS!
I'M BRINGIN' IT IN!

I'M WAITIN' FOR YOU, JODY.
NOW MAKE IT NICE AND SMOOTH.

[Man On Speaker]
JODY, YOU'RE OFF LINE!

BACK OFF! YOU'RE UP TOO FAR!

NO GOOD, GUYS.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.

OKAY, RON, SLIDE
OVER. TAKE THE WHEEL.

WHOA, KID! SMOOTH!
SMOOTH! KEEP IT SMOOTH!

LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE.

OKAY. LOOKS GOOD. LOOKS GOOD.

I HIT SOME AIR TURBULENCE!
I CAN'T HOLD HER, COLT!

YES, YOU CAN! YES, YOU CAN!

YOU'RE DOIN' GREAT.

- KID, YOU ALMOST
TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
- SORRY, COLT.

OKAY, THIS ONE'S A
PRINT. I CAN FEEL IT, COLT.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT, JODY.

ONE MORE TIME FOR COLT
SEAVERS. I COULD GET OLD DOIN' THIS.

GOOD! GOOD, JODY, GOOD!

NOW DON'T CUT ME IN HALF! I DON'T
THINK YOU COULD STAND TWO OF ME!

HEY, COWBOY, YOU WANT A RIDE?

DON'T MIND IF I DO.

OKAY, I'M ON. WE GOT A PRINT.

[Woman] AU REVOIR JEANS. FOR THE MAN
WHO LIKES TO LIVE BY THE SEAT OF HIS PANTS.

THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING I EVER
SAW. WHAT A WASTE OF GOOD STUNTS.

I MEAN, HOW DID YOU EVER TALK ME INTO
DOING TWO MORE OF THOSE COMMERCIALS?

WELL, WE NEEDED THE MONEY. YOU
KNOW, THE STRIKE HURT EVERYONE.

THERE ARE BETTER
WAYS TO MAKE MONEY.

I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT, BECAUSE BIG JACK
WANTED TO DROP BY AND SEE YOU TONIGHT.

BIG JACK IS NOT A BETTER
WAY. AH, BE REASONABLE, COLT.

WE HAVEN'T BEEN OUT ON A CASE
SINCE YOU GOT OUT OF TRACTION.

THAT LAST ONE PUT ME
IN TRACTION, REMEMBER?

I'M NOT GOING OUT ON ANOTHER
BOUNTY HUNT. [Big Jack] COLT.

I TOLD YOU THAT'S FINAL.

NOW HIS NAME IS
E. CHARLES NEIMAN.

HE'S A VERY PROMINENT
BEVERLY HILLS BUSINESSMAN...

YES. WHO WAS ARRESTED FOR EMBEZZLING
10 MILLION DOLLARS' WORTH OF BONDS...

FROM HIS OWN BROKERAGE HOUSE.

I DO KEEP UP WITH THE NEWS.
WHERE'D HE SKIP OFF TO?

LONDON? ROME? PARIS? YOU
KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE TO TRAVEL.

HOWIE, HE DIDN'T SKIP OFF
ANYWHERE. HE'S RIGHT HERE IN TOWN.

LOOK, IF HE HASN'T JUMPED BAIL,
THEN WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME?

TO BRING HIM DOWNTOWN
SO I CAN REVOKE HIS BOND.

I WANT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH
E. CHARLES NEIMAN. [Howie] WELL, WHY NOT?

A WELL-TO-DO
WHITE-COLLAR CRIMINAL.

HE'LL PROBABLY HIRE HIMSELF A TEAM OF
EXPENSIVE LAWYERS AND GET OFF SCOT-FREE.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN I POSTED
THE BOND TO THE TUNE OF $500,000.

[Whistles] THAT IS A HEFTY SUM. I
HOPE YOU GOT SOME COLLATERAL.

I CERTAINLY DID. HIS
MALIBU BEACH HOUSE.

WELL, THEN, YOU'RE
WELL PROTECTED.

EXCEPT FOR ONE THING. HE
SOLD IT RIGHT AFTER THAT.

I DIDN'T THINK HE COULD DO THAT.

I DIDN'T EITHER. BUT WE'RE
DEALING WITH THE PRIVILEGED CLASS.

HE'S A SPOILED EGOMANIAC WHO THINKS
HE CAN BEND THE RULES TO SUIT HIMSELF.

JACK, YOU KNOW HOW I
HATE TO RISK MY NECK.

COLT, I'M PREPARED TO PAY YOU
HANDSOMELY FOR MY MISTAKE.

$500 A DAY.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I HATE TO
SEE YOU PLAYED FOR A SUCKER.

NOW WHERE JUST MIGHT I
FIND THIS E. CHARLES NEIMAN?

[Howie] WHAT IS THIS
CAVALIER CLUB ANYWAY?

[Colt] IT'S A PRIVATE CLUB WHERE PEOPLE
WITH MONEY TO BURN CAN BUY SOME PRIVACY.

[Man] LET ME GET
TO THE POINT, AL.

I THOUGHT I HAD COMMITTED
THE PERFECT CRIME.

I NEVER EXPECTED THE BANK
TO DISCOVER IT THAT QUICKLY.

[Chuckles] WHO SAYS GOOD
GUYS DON'T GET BAD BREAKS.

TELL ME, HOW CAN I RIGHT
THIS GROSS INJUSTICE?

I AM SITTING ON 10 MILLION DOLLARS'
WORTH OF TRACEABLE BONDS.

I NEED TO CONVERT THEM
INTO CASH. CAN YOU HELP ME?

YOU GIVE ME TWO WEEKS AND I'LL
GET YOU 75 CENTS ON THE DOLLAR.

I HAVEN'T GOT TWO WEEKS.
MY HEARING'S ON FRIDAY.

I DON'T INTEND TO BE THERE.

FRIDAY? CHARLIE, YOU'RE... YOU'RE
TALKING THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

OR SOONER. I HAD TO UNLOAD
THE COLLATERAL FOR MY BAIL.

THAT MEANS THE BONDING
COMPANY IS GONNA COME AFTER ME.

AND THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO BE
PUT BACK IN JAIL ON A MERE TECHNICALITY.

IS THIS A GAG? NO, IT'S A TRUCK.

WELL, WHERE DO YOU
EXPECT ME TO PARK IT?

PUT IT RIGHT OUT FRONT. SHOW IT
OFF. YEAH, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL TRUCK.

MR. NEIMAN DOESN'T
EXACTLY KEEP A LOW PROFILE.

[Chuckling] [Woman]
THAT'S GREAT.

YOU LIKE IT? THAT'S
A FUNNY JOKE.

YEAH, AND IT'S MINE TOO. OH.

COLT! HIYA, KID!

HEY, MILTON, HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO
SEE YOU. HEY, HOWIE, THIS IS MILTON BERLE.

I DID A STUNT FOR
HIM ON A MOVIE ONCE.

AT MY AGE, I NEED A STUNTMAN
TO PUT ON MY MAKEUP.

- ENJOY THE CLUB.
- THANK YOU, MR. BERLE.

I HEAR THIS IS THE TOP PLACE IN
THE CITY FOR FOOD AND DANCING.

WHO KNOWS FROM DANCING? I
COME HERE FOR THE TAKEOUTS.

[Laughing]

COLT, THIS IS A PRIVATE CLUB. AREN'T WE
GONNA NEED A LITTLE PULL TO GET INSIDE?

I'LL USE ONE OF MILTON'S LINES.

HELLO. HELLO.

CAN I HELP YOU? YES, WE'D LIKE
TO SPEAK TO MR. E. CHARLES NEIMAN.

ARE YOU MEMBERS, MR...

SEAVERS. COLT SEAVERS. NO, WE
JUST CAME IN TO REPORT THE ACCIDENT.

- ACCIDENT?
- IN THE PARKING LOT. THAT IS
HIS ROLLS-ROYCE, ISN'T IT?

- YES. WHAT HAPPENED?
- OH, NOTHING MUCH. YOU CAN
HARDLY SEE WHERE WE HIT IT.

YES. SO I'D LIKE TO GIVE HIM THE
NAME OF MY INSURANCE COMPANY.

- SO IF YOU'D PLEASE GET HIM.
- FRANK, YOU WATCH THE DOOR
WHILE I STEP INSIDE.

- EXCUSE ME, MR. MAGLIA.
- OH, YES, SALLY?

THERE'S A MR. SEAVERS AT THE
DOOR, WANTS TO SEE MR. NEIMAN.

SAYS HE SMASHED INTO HIS CAR.

NOT MY ROLLS?
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

OH, PLEASE. HOLD IT. HOLD IT.

YOU GO TELL HIM THAT MR. NEIMAN
WILL BE RIGHT THERE. OKAY? OKAY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

CHARLIE, IF YOUR CAR WAS HIT, MY PARKING
LOT ATTENDANT WOULD HAVE REPORTED IT.

I MEAN, WE CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL
IF SOME BAIL BONDSMAN'S ONTO YOU.

WELL, I TAKE MY
HAT OFF TO YOU, AL.

LOOKS LIKE I CAME TO
THE RIGHT MAN AFTER ALL.

HE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

OH, SO TELL ME, UH, WHAT KIND OF
PEOPLE BELONG TO THIS CLUB ANYWAY?

IT'LL TAKE TWO GRAND AND A NEW SET
OF THREADS FOR YOU TO FIND THAT OUT.

WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS SPACE
GAMES AND A SIX-PACK AT HOME.

[Engine Starts]

[Tires Squealing]

- COLT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- SIT TIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[Tires Squealing]

HEY!

HEY, WHERE'S MY TIP?

[Siren Wailing]

[Chatter On Police Radio]

SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU
WERE CHASING THAT CAR.

THAT'S RIGHT,
OFFICER. I CAN EXPLAIN.

I'LL BET. LICENSE AND
REGISTRATION, PLEASE.

I WAS HIRED BY A BONDSMAN TO PICK UP THE
MAN DRIVING THAT CAR... E. CHARLES NEIMAN.

WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE
HE'S ABOUT TO SKIP TOWN.

I HAVE HIS BOND
RECEIPT RIGHT HERE.

BE RIGHT BACK.

DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED TO APPREHEND THE
MAN THAT WAS DRIVIN' THIS CAR? IS THAT HIM?

THAT'S HIM, OFFICER. THAT'S THE CREEP
THAT WAS HUSTLIN' ME ALL THROUGH LUNCH.

SCARED ME TO DEATH. THANK GOD
YOU CAME ALONG WHEN YOU DID.

- WAIT A MINUTE...
- IT'S OKAY, MISS. YOU CAN GO NOW.

THANK YOU.

YOU FOLLOW ME, TURKEY.

WHERE'D YOU GO, COLT?

NEVER MIND. WHAT HAPPENED
BACK HERE? DID YOU SEE NEIMAN?

YEAH. RIGHT AFTER
YOU TOOK OFF, THEY

SLIPPED HIM OUT THE
BACK IN A BLACK PORSCHE.

I COULDN'T GIVE THEM
MUCH OF A CHASE ON FOOT.

GREAT! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO
BE ONE OF JACK'S SIMPLE PICKUPS.

BUT I DID GET HIS LICENSE
NUMBER. FANTASTIC.

GET IN.

ACCORDING TO THE D.M.V.,
THE CAR THAT SMUGGLED

NEIMAN RIGHT OUT
FROM UNDER OUR NOSES...

IS REGISTERED TO AN
ALBERT MAGLIA OF BEL AIR.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
NEIMAN IS AT THIS GUY

MAGLIA'S HOUSE? I'VE
BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE.

BOY, THE TROUBLE WITH
FINDING NEIMAN IS THAT

EVERY PLACE HE'S
SUPPOSED TO BE, WE'RE NOT.

YEAH, NOT IF WE DO
SOME ROLE-PLAYING, KID.

THAT'S WHAT THIS
TOWN'S ALL ABOUT.

HOW YOU DOING? I'M COLT SEAVERS.

UH, TELLY SAID THERE
WOULD BE A PASS.

I'M HIS HAIRDRESSER.

[Howie] THAT'S THE CAR.

AND THAT'S NEIMAN INSIDE IT.

THERE'S NO WAY THIS TRUCK'S
GONNA KEEP UP WITH THAT PORSCHE.

WHY, YOU DON'T THINK SO?

WELL, THAT CAR GOES FROM
ZERO TO A HUNDRED IN 10 SECONDS.

ITS TOP SPEED'S 150. I'D CALL
THAT A LOST CAUSE, COLT.

NOT WITH A FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE.

[Howie] HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHERE THIS TRAIL COMES OUT?

[Colt] I'VE SHOT EVERY INCH OF
THESE HILLS IN THE MOVIES WE'VE DONE.

THIS IS WHAT WE CALL
"HEADING THEM OFF AT THE PASS."

- WE'RE RUNNIN' OUT OF ROAD!
- HOLD ON, KID,
WE'RE GOIN' AIRBORNE!

COLT! LOOK OUT!

WHERE'D SHE COME FROM?
NEIMAN'S GETTING AWAY!

WAIT. SHE LOOKS HURT.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MA'AM?

[Colt] HEY, WHAT'S THIS ALL
ABOUT? WHO ARE YOU, LADY?

I WARN YOU. I'M QUITE
ACCUSTOMED TO USING FIREARMS.

- LADY, GO EASY NOW. COME ON.
- WHY WERE YOU CHASING
MR. NEIMAN?

WELL, YOU PUT THAT GUN
AWAY AND I MIGHT TELL YOU.

I THINK FOR THE TIME BEING I FEEL
MORE IN CONTROL HAVING IT HANDY.

ALL RIGHT. NOW YOU'VE DONE
IT. KID, THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.

WHAT ARE YOU... WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU... WHAT ARE YOU...

STOP IT! STOP IT, YOU TWO! YOU'RE
GOING TO GET US ALL ARRESTED!

OH.

OKAY, UM, I HAVE A LEGAL
PAPER TO BE CARRYING THAT GUN.

I HAPPEN TO BE MR. NEIMAN'S
PERSONAL BODYGUARD,

AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY
YOU HAVE BEEN HARASSING HIM.

KID, I GOT THE GUN. DON'T I
GET TO ASK THE QUESTIONS?

THAT'S THE WAY I ALWAYS
UNDERSTOOD IT WORKED. YEAH.

NOW COME ON, YOU
TWO. WHAT'S THE STORY?

LADY, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE PAYING
ATTENTION. NOW THIS IS A COLT .45,

AND YOU'RE OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE, PRACTICALLY HELPLESS.

HOW COME IT IS YOU'RE
NOT EVEN NERVOUS?

[Woman] THAT'S BECAUSE I KNOW
SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T, GENTLEMEN.

YEAH, WHAT?

[Colt] OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.

I WON'T MAKE A
FUSS IF YOU WON'T.

I'LL SEE YOU ROT IN JAIL.

OH, COME ON, YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND
ALL DAY DOWNTOWN SORTING THIS OUT.

I THOUGHT I RECOGNIZED THE
TRUCK. WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?

OH, NOTHING, OFFICER. JUST
HELPING A STRANDED MOTORIST.

WHY, OFFICER, DON'T
YOU BELIEVE HIM. WHY,

THIS LUNATIC TRIED TO
DRIVE ME OFF THE ROAD.

WELL, THANK HEAVENS YOU CAME ALONG. I
WAS SO AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN NEXT.

LOOK, PAL, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?

YOUR CREDENTIALS SAY
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GUY,

AND YOU SPEND HALF
YOUR TIME CHASING WOMEN.

- I'M FUNNY THAT WAY.
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT LAUGHING.

LADY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SWEAR OUT
A COMPLAINT FOR THIS MAN'S ARREST?

- I'D BE GLAD TO HAUL HIM IN.
- HAUL HIM IN?

UH, NOW WHAT WOULD
THAT ENTAIL, OFFICER?

WELL, YOU JUST FOLLOW US DOWNTOWN AND YOU
SWEAR OUT A CHARGE FOR ATTEMPTED ASSAULT.

NO, I DON'T THINK THAT
WOULD BE NECESSARY.

BUT I DO BELIEVE WE SHOULD
DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT GUN.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S
GO, TURKEY. AGAIN.

WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.

DON'T TAKE IT SO
PERSONALLY, COLT.

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE GET
ARRESTED. YEAH? WELL, I'LL KILL HER.

YOU'RE GETTING
EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.

AS A FORMER POLICE SCIENCE MAJOR, I
CAN TELL YOU THAT THAT'S DANGEROUS.

I'LL SHOW YOU DANGEROUS
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HER.

OH, YOU DUG HER, DIDN'T YOU?
KID, WILL YOU GO FEED THE HORSES...

BEFORE I GIVE YOU A LITTLE OF WHAT I
GOT PLANNED FOR LITTLE MISS BODYGUARD.

AGGRESSION TRANSFERENCE. THAT'S
NORMAL. IT'S UNHEALTHY, BUT IT'S NORMAL.

I TOOK ALMOST A YEAR OF
PSYCHOLOGY... OKAY, I'M GOING.

COME IN. COME IN.
COME IN. COME IN.

THAT'S VERY GENEROUS OF YOU,
CONSIDERING THIS IS MY HOUSE.

THANKS FOR THE BEER. WELL, WE HAD
KIND OF A LONG WAIT. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

YEAH, WELL, I DO MIND. WHAT
ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? COME ON.

DON'T TAKE THAT ATTITUDE.

WE ALL KNOW THAT FRIENDS
ARE MERELY ACQUAINTANCES...

WHO HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET TO
KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

WE'RE VERY HEAVILY INTO
FRIENDS, MR. SEAVERS.

YOU'VE BEEN BOTHERING ONE OF
OURS. A VERY, VERY DEAR, DEAR MAN.

E. CHARLES NEIMAN. BINGO!

LOOK, FRIENDS, UH, YOUR FRIEND PROMISED
MY FRIEND THAT HE'D SHOW UP IN COURT.

NOW IT LOOKS LIKE
YOUR FRIEND IS TRYIN' TO

STIFF MY FRIEND. THAT'S
NOT BEING VERY FRIENDLY.

COME ON. WHY DON'T
YOU GIVE HIM A BREAK?

THE HEARING'S NOT FOR
A COUPLE OF DAYS YET.

THEN TELL HIM TO COME ON IN, WE'LL
TALK ABOUT IT. THAT'S FAIR, ISN'T IT?

YOU KNOW ALL THESE
FAMOUS PEOPLE?

YEAH, I'VE WORKED WITH
MOST OF THEM. IS THAT RIGHT?

GEE, THESE PICTURES MUST
BE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU.

THIS ONE, FOR INSTANCE.
ISN'T THIS BJÖRN... BJÖRN...

BJÖRN BORG STANDING
HERE WITH YOU?

- YES. HE'S A GOOD FRIEND.
- HEY!

LOOK, FELLAS, UP UNTIL,
UH... UP UNTIL THIS TIME,

YOUR FRIEND HAS JUST BEEN BENDING
THE LAW, BUT NOW I THINK HE'S BROKEN IT.

BINGO! ROY, SHOW HIM
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

YEAH. WELL, UH, THIS
ROBERT MITCHUM, RIGHT?

PAUL NEWMAN. HE MUST BE
A REAL FAVORITE OF YOURS.

HEY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, MR. SEAVERS,
WHEN HE RUNS OUT OF PICTURES TO BREAK?

HE'S GONNA START BREAKING YOU,

UNLESS YOU JUST GIVE US A
PROMISE THAT YOU'RE GONNA BACK OFF.

- SUPPOSING I SAY I WILL?
- WELL, THEN
I'D BE VERY GRATEFUL...

AND LEAVE YOU THIS ENVELOPE.

IT'S YOUR FEE. IT CONTAINS IT TO, UH, BACK
OFF, YOU KNOW, NOT PICK UP OUR MR. NEIMAN.

BUT JUST IN CASE THAT YOU, YOU KNOW,
GET SENTIMENTAL OVER THESE OLD PICTURES...

AND YOU DECIDE MAYBE
TO CHANGE YOUR MIND,

I JUST WANT TO GIVE
YOU SOMETHING TO,

WELL, KEEP OUR WHOLE
CONVERSATION FRESH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? ROY.

REAL... FRESH.

COLT, WHAT IN THE
WORLD ARE YOU...

COLT? HEY, COLT?
COLT, ARE YOU OKAY?

COLT, ARE YOU OKAY?

COLT! COLT! COLT! COLT,
IT'S ME JODY! JODY! IT'S JODY!

- JODY?
- OH, EXCUSE ME.

I THOUGHT I HEARD SOME
ACTIVITY OVER HERE, BUT I...

[Colt] KID, GET BACK HERE.

JODY, I'M SORRY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

OHH! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?

OW!

I'LL TELL YOU WHO. STRANGERS
BEARING GUNS. GUNS?

YEAH, TWICE IN THE SAME DAY,

BUT IF YOU GOT ME THE D.M.V. MAKE ON THAT
WOMAN'S CAR, I CAN SURE NAIL ONE OF 'EM.

OH, YEAH. I'VE GOT IT RIGHT
HERE IN MY... MY PURSE.

MMM.

I'M SORRY, JODY.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?

UH, 33770 COLDWATER CANYON.

UH, KAY FAULKNER.

[Jody] WHO'S SHE?
[Colt] I DON'T KNOW.

BUT SHE'S UP TO HER
MERCEDES IN THIS LITTLE SWINDLE.

[Howie] SHE'S TURNING IN
TO THAT COUNTRY CLUB.

[Colt] THERE'S NEIMAN'S
BLACK PORSCHE.

COLT, EVERY MINUTE WITH YOU IS AN
EDUCATION. SHE LED US RIGHT TO HIM.

WELL, LET'S GO GET HIM. UH-UH.

NO, THE LAST PRIVATE
CLUB WE ANNOUNCED

OURSELVES GAVE NEIMAN
ALL THE WARNING HE NEEDED.

IT ONLY HAD A FRONT
AND BACK DOOR.

THIS ONE'S SURROUNDED
BY THREE MILES OF FENCE.

[Camera Shutter Clicking]

[Shutter Clicks]

[Neiman] ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY
CERTAIN ABOUT THIS VEGAS CONNECTION?

[Al] IN 36 HOURS, YOU WON'T
HAVE A CARE IN THE WORLD.

YOU WANT THE FLAG? NO. THANKS.

- WHAT ABOUT THE PLANE?
- IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.

WITH THE ADDITIONAL $500,000, THE PLANE
WILL BE COMPLETELY AT YOUR DISPOSAL.

I'VE INSTRUCTED THE PILOT TO
TAKE YOU ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.

EXCELLENT.

[Al] THE MONEY WILL BE
ARRIVING TOMORROW NIGHT.

WE'LL MEET IT AT THE AIRPORT. WE'LL
MAKE THE EXCHANGE AT THAT TIME.

WHY DO I HAVE TO MEET
YOU LATER AT YOUR CLUB?

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
ANY OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE.

WHAT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE?

IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT
WE FOUND OUT WHO MR. SEAVERS IS.

I DON'T LIKE THE LOOKS OF THAT
RAZOR-EDGED BARBWIRE UP THERE.

WE'LL USE THE AIR RAMP
TO SHOOT ME OVER IT.

COLT, I'VE NEVER
QUESTIONED YOUR ABILITY WITH

THE STUNT GEAR, BUT THIS
DOESN'T LOOK VERY SAFE.

WELL, YOU COULD BE
RIGHT ABOUT THAT, KID.

HERE, PUT THIS
ANTENNA DOWN FOR ME.

[Howie] WELL, IT... WELL, IT STILL
LOOKS KINDA DANGEROUS TO ME.

NOT IF YOU KNOW HOW TO LAND PROPERLY.
I'M ONLY USING 1,200 POUNDS OF PRESSURE.

SORT OF A HUMAN
CHIP SHOT, HUH? YEP.

ONCE ON THE FAIRWAY, I'LL FIND
OUR LITTLE SNAKES IN NO TIME.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE READY.

LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT.

OH, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A
FIVE "X" AROUND HAVE YOU?

YOU SEE, I'VE GOT
THIS, UH, TERRIBLE SLICE.

BIRD-WATCHING?

MR. SEAVERS. WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOU?

FISH-WATCHING. DON'T BE
SO FORMAL. CALL ME COLT.

COLT. HOW'D YOU FIND ME?

I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR CAR.

I DON'T SUPPOSE THAT'S OUR GOOD FRIEND
NEIMAN YOU'VE BEEN PROTECTING, IS IT?

NO, AS A MATTER OF
FACT, IT IS NOT MR. NEIMAN.

OH, OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
WELL, SOUND AND EVERYTHING.

VERY FANCY, EVEN IF IT ISN'T
STANDARD BODYGUARD GEAR.

WELL, THIS TIME YOU
DON'T HELP THEM GET AWAY.

SEAVERS, STAY OUT OF IT.

LOOK, YOU GOT ME HAULED OFF ONCE
BEFORE WITHOUT EVEN SO MUCH AS A GOOD-BYE.

THIS TIME IT ISN'T
GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I DON'T
WANT HIM TAKEN YET. YEAH, WELL, I DO.

JUST WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SEAVERS!

THIS IS MY GOLF CART AND
A ONE-MAN SHOW! I AGREE.

AAAH!

THERE'S SOMEONE FOLLOWING
US. IT'S SEAVERS! STEP ON IT!

HEY, WATCH OUT! HEY, MAN!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
MAN? HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

DAN! ROY! SEAVERS IS AFTER US!
HOLD HIM! WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE!

[Dan] HOLD IT RIGHT
THERE, SEAVERS!

[Crowd Gasps]

SEAVERS!

SEAVERS! GIVE ME BACK THAT
RECORDER AND TAPE! THAT'S MY PROPERTY!

I SAID GIVE THAT BACK, SEAVERS!

SORRY, DEAR, IT'S MY ONLY LEAD
TO WHERE NEIMAN'S GOING. SEAVERS!

- NO! OHH!
- [Siren Wailing]

SEAVERS, NO!

NO! GIVE ME MY EQUIPMENT!

NOT YOU AGAIN, TURKEY.
OH! WAIT A MINUTE.

OFFICER, IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU THINK.

I'M GONNA GET YOU PEOPLE SOMEPLACE
WHERE YOU CAN'T HURT ANYBODY OR YOURSELF.

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS MAN!

WAIT A MINUTE, YOU CAN'T ARREST
ME. I HAVEN'T COMMITTED ANY CRIME.

I'M AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

OH. YOU'RE STARTING
TO GET ON MY NERVES.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING PHOTOGRAPHING
AND RECORDING THOSE GUYS ANYWAY?

THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

WHAT'D YOU HEAR?
WHAT'S THEIR PLAN?

DO YOU HONESTLY
THINK I'D TELL YOU?

WELL, ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME YOU
TOLD ME WHAT YOU'RE AFTER?

I MEAN, I'M GONNA FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH NOW
THAT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT WORKING FOR NEIMAN.

IF I DO TELL YOU, DO YOU AGREE NOT
TO PICK HIM UP UNTIL HE'S READY TO RUN?

IF I WAIT TILL HE TRIES TO RUN, HE MIGHT
MAKE IT. I GOTTA GET HIM WHILE HE'S AROUND.

YOU'RE DOING A
HELL OF A JOB. WHAT?

YOU HEARD ME. GOD,
I'M SICK OF AMATEURS!

LISTEN, I WOULD HAVE HAD NEIMAN
LOCKED UP EIGHT WAYS FROM SUNDAY...

IF YOU'D HAVE STAYED OUT OF MY
WAY WITH THAT CANDY-APPLE ACT.

WHAT IS ALL THAT GADGETRY? WHAT ARE
YOU, SOME KIND OF REPORTER OR SOMETHING?

I'M SAMANTHA JACK. THIS
IS COLT SEAVERS'S RELEASE.

HERE COMES THE
CAVALRY. IT'S BEEN AN HOUR.

HEY, YOU'RE LUCKY SHE KNOWS YOU.
OTHERWISE IT COULD HAVE TAKEN ALL DAY.

BESIDES, IF YOU JUMP BAIL, WHO WOULD I
SEND TO BRING YOU BACK? YOU'RE ALL HEART.

[Chuckles] THANK YOU, OFFICER.

WAIT A MINUTE. OFFICER.
OFFICER, WAIT A MINUTE!

WHAT ABOUT ME? I CALLED
FOR A BONDSMAN TOO.

OH, WHO'D YOU CALL? AMALGAMATED.

IT'S AN ANSWERING SERVICE. YOU COULD BE
HERE THROUGH CHRISTMAS. UH, WHO ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHT. LISTEN,
I'M KAY FAULKNER...

WHAT ARE THE CHARGES?
DON'T YOU DARE.

SHE'S IN HERE FOR SETTING FIRE TO THE
MICKEY MOUSE MUSEUM. WAIT A MINUTE.

AT DISNEYLAND. COLT! COME ON!

WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A
MINUTE, SEAVERS! [Door Closes]

I'M GONNA GET YOU, SEAVERS.

BAIL HER OUT. BAIL HER
OUT? YOU JUST SAID...

I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID. I JUST DON'T
WANT HER TO KNOW YOU'RE INVOLVED.

GET ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS
TO DO IT. COLT, WHO IS SHE?

HER NAME IS KAY FAULKNER.
BUT WHAT SHE IS I DON'T KNOW.

SHE WAS USING SURVEILLANCE
EQUIPMENT ON NEIMAN.

SHE COULD BE A REPORTER,
A DETECTIVE OR EVEN

A THIEF AFTER NEIMAN'S
MONEY FOR ALL I KNOW.

GET HER CREDENTIALS
WHEN YOU BAIL HER OUT.

- WELL, THEN WHAT HAPPENS?
- WELL, KAY WILL TELL US.

SHE'S GOT SOMETHING ON THAT EQUIPMENT
THAT WILL GIVE US NEIMAN'S NEXT MOVE.

IN OTHER WORDS, YOU'RE ASKING
ME TO HELP YOU USE THIS POOR GIRL.

- ANY OBJECTIONS?
- I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.

THANKS. YOU'RE WELCOME.

KID, LET THAT BE A LESSON TO
YOU. YOU HAVE TO HAVE INTEGRITY.

WHAT DOES INTEGRITY HAVE TO
DO WITH BAILING KAY OUT OF JAIL?

I DIDN'T SAY IT HAD ANYTHING
TO DO WITH BAILING HER OUT.

I JUST SAID YOU OUGHT TO HAVE
INTEGRITY, SOONER OR LATER.

[Gunshots]

PRETTY HOT MOVE.
NEIMAN'S GOT TO BE IN THERE.

WE NEED SOMEBODY THAT CAN GET IN
THERE AND FLUSH HIM OUT IN THE OPEN.

[Howie] YEAH, COLT, I CAN
GET IN THERE. NO PROBLEM.

[Colt] I WAS THINKING
OF USING JODY.

- JODY?
- WHO'D HAVE A BETTER SHOT
OF LURING MR. NEIMAN OUT?

I MEAN, YOU, ME OR JODY?

WELL, I... YOU NEVER
KNOW. THIS IS CALIFORNIA.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL CALL JODY.

I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS
MANY GUNS SINCE KOREA.

YEAH, THE WHOLE WORLD'S GONE
PARANOID. EVERYONE'S INTO GUNS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S SOMETHING YOU
MIGHT CONSIDER, WHERE YOU'RE GOING...

AND WITH ALL THE MONEY
YOU'LL BE CARRYING.

I MAY TAKE YOU UP ON THAT. WELL,
GOOD. I'LL SET YOU UP ON THE RANGE.

YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO KILL
BEFORE TOMORROW MORNING. MORNING?

AL, THIS IS MY LAST
NIGHT IN THIS COUNTRY.

I'VE GOT FRIENDS THAT I GOTTA
SEE BEFORE I GO. NO DEAL, CHARLIE.

THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE LOOKING FOR YOU
AND THIS IS ONE PLACE WHERE YOU'RE SAFE.

WELL, I'VE SEEN THAT ALL RIGHT.

SECURITY HERE IS TIGHTER
THAN A MILITARY BASE.

OH, JUDY, RESERVE TWO
SPOTS FOR ME, WILL YOU?

GORGEOUS.

♪♪ [Jazz]

OH, MY! OH! OH!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, I'M... I'M... THAT WAS VERY CLUMSY
OF ME, SIR. A-ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. I'M FINE. I'M FINE. LOOK, IT WAS
AS MUCH MY FAULT AS IT WAS YOURS.

OH, THANK YOU, SIR. PLEASE, SIR, I-I
APOLOGIZE. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. NO PROBLEM.

- GOOD RECEPTION?
- GET OUT OF MY VAN. I'M WARNING YOU.

YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! WAIT!

SORRY, KAY. I OFFERED TO COOPERATE AND
WORK WITH YOU, BUT YOU WOULDN'T DISCUSS IT.

COLT, LISTEN TO ME. I WORK
FOR THE INSURANCE COMPANY.

YOU'RE ONLY INTERESTED IN
KEEPING NEIMAN FROM SKIPPING TOWN.

WE'VE GOT TO
RECOVER THOSE BONDS.

- CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
- [Gunshots]

AHH! NOT ANYMORE.

[Gunshots]

YOU GOT A MEMBERSHIP CARD?

UH, NO. I'M A NONMEMBER.

BUT THEY SAID IT WAS
ALL RIGHT AT THE DOOR.

WHEN A LADY LOOKS LIKE
YOU, IT'S ALWAYS ALL RIGHT.

GOTTA KEEP OUR MEMBERS HAPPY.

THANKS.

[Gunshots]

YOU'RE HOLDING IT WRONG.

I BEG YOUR PARDON? WHEN YOU SHOOT,
YOU'RE HOLDING YOUR GUN WRONG.

SHE MADE CONTACT.

MAY I?

WELL, I CERTAINLY BELIEVE IN
LETTING A LADY PROVE HERSELF.

CAREFUL.

UH, WHERE DID YOU LEARN
HOW TO SHOOT LIKE THAT?

BUY ME A DRINK AND
I'LL TELL YOU MY SECRET.

OKAY.

HAS HE PUT THE MOVES ON HER YET?

NO, THEY'RE JUST
GETTING A DRINK.

YOU'RE GONNA BLOW EVERYTHING.

I'LL BLOW EVERYTHING?
IF I WAIT, I MIGHT LOSE HIM.

WHO CARES ABOUT NEIMAN?

MY COMPANY'S ON THE HOOK FOR
10 MIL. NOW, COLT, LET'S MAKE A DEAL.

LOOK, I MIGHT'VE
BEEN INTERESTED IN A

COMPROMISE BEFORE.
BUT NOT NOW. IT'S TOO LATE.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I HAVE
EVER MET A GIRL QUITE LIKE YOU.

OR ONE THAT'S QUITE AS YOUNG, AND
AS BEAUTIFUL AND AS DEADLY. WOW!

OH, HARDLY THAT. I JUST
LIKE TO TARGET SHOOT.

- I DON'T WANT TO
SCARE ANYONE AWAY.
- WELL, THAT'S NICE TO KNOW.

[Man On P.A.] BAR'S CLOSING,
FOLKS. LAST CALL FOR DRINKS.

IT'S TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T HERE EARLIER.
WE COULD'VE HAD QUITE A NIGHT OF IT.

WHO SAYS WE STILL CAN'T?

LOOK, AS LONG AS THIS PLACE IS CLOSING
UP, WHY DON'T WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE?

WHY DON'T YOU TWO USE
ONE OF THE SUITES UPSTAIRS?

THEY'RE OPEN 24
HOURS TO MEMBERS.

AL, UH, LOOK, I'LL BE BACK
IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.

I ASSURE YOU, HONEY, IT'S QUITE DISCREET.
THE ONLY ENTRANCE IS BY PRIVATE ELEVATOR.

I-I DON'T THINK SO.

- I'M AFRAID I MUST INSIST.
- YOU INSIST?

OH, RIGHT.

AL! MR. NEIMAN, YOU'RE
UNDER MY PROTECTION.

WHEN THIS, UH, YOUNG
LADY CAME IN HERE TONIGHT,

SHE HAD TO LEAVE HER DRIVER'S LICENSE
AT THE DOOR, AND I HAD IT CHECKED.

WELL, THAT'S ALL VERY
COMMENDABLE, BUT...

THERE'S NO BUTS
ABOUT IT, CHARLIE.

BY SOME STRANGE
COINCIDENCE, SHE HAPPENS TO

BELONG TO THE FALL GUY
STUNTMAN'S ASSOCIATION.

THE VERY SAME ONE THAT
OUR MR. SEAVERS BELONGS TO.

[Al] TAKE HER UPSTAIRS.

- WE GOT TROUBLE. LET'S GO.
- I CAN HELP.

YEAH, SURE YOU CAN. COLT.

VERY NICE. FIX US A
DRINK, WILL YOU, CHARLIE?

MM-HMM.

MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, HONEY.
WE'RE ALL GONNA BE HERE FOR AWHILE.

WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT
EASY. AND DON'T CALL ME HONEY.

[Chuckles]

IF SHE'S WORKING WITH THAT BOUNTY HUNTER,
ISN'T HE LIKELY TO COME LOOKING FOR HER?

WELL, THIS FLOOR
IS TOTALLY PRIVATE.

THERE'S NO WAY
HE CAN GET UP HERE.

I PROMISE YOU, CHARLIE,
YOU'RE PERFECTLY SAFE HERE.

HEY, THERE'S SOMEBODY BREAKING
IN THE SECOND FLOOR CORRIDOR.

[Alarm Rings] EMERGENCY!

ALL GUARDS TO THE SECOND FLOOR.

EMERGENCY! ALL GUARDS
TO THE SECOND FLOOR.

[Alarming Ringing] AL, WHAT'S
GOING ON OUT THERE?

DON'T TELL ME SOMEONE'S
BROKEN IN? BINGO!

ROY, TAKE CHARLIE OUT TO THE
CAR. DANNY, YOU COME WITH ME.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME? SIT DOWN!

THE MAID WILL BE BY EARLY IN THE
MORNING. NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

[Alarm Continues]

THEY'RE HEADED FOR
RANGE NUMBER TWO.

[Alarm Continues, Distant]

[Alarm Continues, Distant]

KEEP THAT END COVERED.

- THERE THEY ARE!
- [Gunshots]

COLT, THEY'VE GOT ENOUGH FIREPOWER
TO BLAST US BACK TO PEA FALLS.

LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE
NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE
AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE,

BUT IF YOU DON'T COME OUT ON THE COUNT OF
THREE, WE'RE GONNA STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

ONE,

- TWO...
- [Howie] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- SAVING OUR NECKS, I HOPE.
- THREE!

[Gunshots, Distant]
[Alarm Continues]

[Alarm Ringing] JODY?

- JODY? JODY?
- HELLO? ANYBODY OUT THERE?

COLT, I'M IN HERE!

HERE, LET ME HANDLE THIS
ONE, COLT. STAND BACK, JODY!

GOOD, KID. GOOD.

JODY, YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH. BUT
NEIMAN'S LEAVING THE COUNTRY.

COME ON. WE BETTER
GET OUT OF HERE.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING
AROUND WHILE NEIMAN'S GETTING AWAY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE
WHILE THOSE BONDS ARE GETTING AWAY?

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I'M
SORRY I HAD TO LOCK YOU UP.

YOU'RE SORRY. YOU'RE GONNA KNOW WHAT SORRY
IS WHEN YOU GET THESE THINGS OFF OF ME.

WELL, I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU
ANOTHER CHANCE TO WORK WITH ME.

GET THESE THINGS OFF OF
ME AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.

NEIMAN AND MAGLIA ARE HEADING WHO KNOWS
WHERE. NOW, I THINK YOU CAN HELP FIND THEM.

FIND THEM? OF
COURSE I CAN FIND THEM.

IF HE'S STILL GOT THAT
BUG, I CAN FIND THEM.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND,
DARLING. YOU GOT THE

BUGGING EQUIPMENT, AND
YOU KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

EXACTLY. SO WHY DO I NEED YOU?

WELL, BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO HAVE THE
KEYS TO THE HANDCUFFS AND TO THE VAN.

NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YOU DEVIL.

OKAY, LET'S GO. YOU
DRIVE, I'LL DIRECT.

YOU AND JODY
FOLLOW IN THE TRUCK.

[Kay] DO YOU THINK YOU
CAN SPEED THIS THING UP?

THE SIGNAL'S SO WEAK, I DON'T
EVEN KNOW IF IT'S WORKING.

WELL, THIS RIG ISN'T
EXACTLY A FERRARI. SHUSH.

THERE HE IS. THERE HE IS.

OKAY, MAKE IT A LEFT.

[Tires Squealing] [Horn Honking]

NO. NO, WAIT A MINUTE,
COLT. I'M SORRY.

MAKE A RIGHT.

NO. YOU GOTTA DO A 180.

UH-HUH.

- DAMN! I THINK WE'VE LOST HIM.
- FORGET THAT THING.

THERE'S ONLY ONE
AIRPORT IN THIS DIRECTION.

[Colt] SIT BACK. WE
GOT A TWO-HOUR DRIVE.

NICE JOB, AL.

THE PRIVILEGED CLASS HAVE
TO STICK TOGETHER, CHARLIE.

[Vehicles Approaching] ROY!

[Dan] AL, GET OUT OF THERE!

HOLD IT!

GET THOSE TWO!

[Crash]

COLT, YOU'RE STILL IN ONE PIECE!

GO PICK UP KAY AND THE
OTHERS. I'LL GET NEIMAN.

WELL, MR. NEIMAN, I HOPE YOU HAD A PLEASANT
TRIP. MAY I HELP YOU WITH YOUR LUGGAGE?

♪♪ [Country]

[Crowd Cheering]

[Bell Rings]
[Cheering Continues]

COME ON, COLT! YEAH! RIDE HIM!

- COME ON, COLT!
- [Buzzer Buzzes]

ALL RIGHT! YEE-HEE! YEAH!

[Woman] AU REVOIR JEANS. FOR THE MAN
WHO LIKES TO LIVE BY THE SEAT OF HIS PANTS.

I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH
ANY MORE OF THAT.

I THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT. YOU
KNOW THE THUMB? THAT WAS AN AD-LIB.

OH, I KNOW, DON'T
TELL ME. A HALF A

SEMESTER OF IMPROVISATIONAL
THEATER AT YALE.

NO, NORTHWESTERN. I DON'T
UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO DEPRESSED.

THEY DID SHOOT
YOUR BEST SIDE, HMM?

I'M GOING BACK IN. THE BEST ONE'S
COMING UP HERE. YEAH, WELL, SUIT YOURSELF.

[Engine Cranks]

OOPS. CAR TROUBLE?

IT MUST BE FLOODED.
[Engine Cranks]

I DON'T REMEMBER
INVITING YOU ALONG.

OH, WELL, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT ME TO
COME ALONG, CONSIDERING I SAVED YOUR LIFE.

SAVED MY LIFE? IT'S THE
OTHER WAY AROUND, ISN'T IT?

LET'S NOT ARGUE ABOUT
THESE THINGS, COLT.

I THINK YOU SHOULD ASK ME ALONG
BECAUSE WE HAVE SUCH FUN TOGETHER.

IN THE WEEK I'VE KNOWN YOU, I CAN
REMEMBER ABOUT 30 SECONDS' WORTH OF FUN.

COLT, BELIEVE ME,
YOU NEED ME. I DO?

MM-HMM. I HAVE YOUR
DISTRIBUTOR CAP.

UH, UH, UH.

[Man] FALL GUY IS A GLEN
LARSON PRODUCTION.