The Fall Guy (1981–1986): Season 1, Episode 2 - The Meek Shall Inherit Rhonda - full transcript

♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE
KIND TO KISS AND TELL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE BEEN
SEEN WITH FARRAH ♪

♪ I'VE NEVER BEEN
WITH ANYTHING LESS ♪

♪ THAN A NINE SO FINE ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN ON FIRE
WITH SALLY FIELD ♪

♪ GONE FAST WITH
A GIRL NAMED BO ♪

♪ BUT SOMEHOW THEY
JUST DON'T END UP AS MINE ♪

♪ IT'S A DEATH-DEFYIN'
LIFE I LEAD ♪

♪ I TAKE MY CHANCES ♪

♪ I DIE FOR A LIVIN' IN
THE MOVIES AND TV ♪

[Siren Wailing]



♪ BUT THE HARDEST
THING I EVER DO ♪

♪ IS WATCH MY LEADING LADIES ♪

♪ KISS SOME OTHER GUY
WHILE I'M BANDAGIN' MY KNEE ♪

♪ I MIGHT FALL FROM
A TALL BUILDIN' ♪

♪ I MIGHT ROLL A BRAND-NEW CAR ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MADE
REDFORD SUCH A STAR ♪

♪♪ [Women Vocalizing]

♪ I'VE NEVER SPENT
MUCH TIME IN SCHOOL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE TAUGHT
LADIES PLENTY ♪

♪ IT'S TRUE I HIRE MY
BODY OUT FOR PAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I'VE GOTTEN BURNED
OVER CHERYL TIEGS ♪

♪ BLOWN UP FOR RAQUEL WELCH ♪



♪ BUT WHEN I WIND UP IN
THE HAY, IT'S ONLY HAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I MIGHT JUMP AN
OPEN DRAWBRIDGE ♪

♪ OR TARZAN FROM A VINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MAKES EASTWOOD
LOOK SO FINE ♪♪

[Colt Narrating] THIS IS THE STORY OF
ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT UNSUNG HEROES.

I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN HIM, BUT
YOU NEVER KNEW WHO HE WAS.

YOU'VE CHEERED FOR
HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM,

WOMEN HAVE WANTED
TO DIE FOR HIM.

BUT DID HE EVER GET ANY
CREDIT? OR THE GIRL? NO.

HE WAS WHAT WE CALL A STUNTMAN.

AND THE REASON I'M TALKIN'
SO FONDLY ABOUT HIM IS...

WELL, BECAUSE IT'S
ME, COLT SEAVERS.

ANYWAY, PICTURE WORK ISN'T
WALL-TO-WALL EMPLOYMENT.

SO MAYBE YOU WONDER HOW A
GUY KEEPS HIS HEAD TOGETHER.

WELL, ONE WAY IS TO
WAIT BY THE PHONE...

AND WAIT... AND WAIT.

THE OTHER IS TO TAKE AN OCCASIONAL
JOB FOR THE COURT SYSTEM...

OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,

WHERE A MAN IS CONSIDERED
INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE...

GET OUT OF JAIL ON
WHAT WE CALL BAIL.

AND THEY RUN LIKE HELL.

THAT'S WHERE I COME IN. I SOMETIMES
PICK UP RENT MONEY TRYIN' TO FIND THEM...

AND BRING THEM BACK TO JUSTICE.

AND THAT REMINDS ME OF
A VERY INTERESTING CASE...

WHERE SOME SKYDIVING
SKILLS CAME IN REAL HANDY.

YEAH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
HOLD HER NICE AND STEADY.

[Jody On Radio] WITH ALL DUE RESPECT
TO ROBERT WAGNER, COLT, PLEASE...

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA
GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

WELL, IT'S ONLY THE
FIRST STEP THAT'S TRICKY.

I'LL BE SEEING YOU, I HOPE.

HAVE YOU GOT HIM LINED UP?

RELAX. JODY. I'VE BEEN FLYING
SINCE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT
INTO THE AIR FORCE ACADEMY?

WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?
I GOTTA GET BACK TO THE SET.

[Colt] YOU HAVEN'T SEEN
WHAT I'M GONNA SHOW YA.

IT'S EXACTLY THE KIND
OF STUNT YOU NEED ON

HART TO HART. EVERYONE'LL
BE TALKIN' ABOUT IT.

COLT, I'D PREFER THAT THEY'D COME
AWAY TALKING ABOUT ME, NOT YOU.

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
THEY'LL THINK IT IS YOU.

- THERE HE IS.
- WHERE?

RIGHT THERE.

YOU MADE ME TAKE FOUR
HOURS IN THE MIDDLE OF MY DAY...

TO COME OUT HERE AND
WATCH COLT DO A SKYDIVE?

THAT'S THE OLDEST
STUNT IN THE WORLD.

HE ISN'T WEARING
A PARACHUTE, R.J.

HE'S NOT WEARING A PARACHUTE?

WHAT IS HE, SOME KIND
OF A BANANA OR SOME...

HE MUST BE CRAZY. YOU'RE
RIGHT. HE'S NOT WEARING A CHUTE.

R.J., THE ENDING OF YOUR NEXT
HART TO HART CALLS FOR YOU...

TO BE FORCED OUT OF THE
AIRPLANE WITH A FAULTY PARACHUTE.

THOUGHT I'D SHOW YOU
A BETTER WAY TO GO.

WHAT BETTER WAY?

YOU'RE GONNA SAVE YOURSELF BY
FREE-FALLING TO ANOTHER AIRPLANE.

- COLT, HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
- INCREASE YOUR SPEED
30 KNOTS, HOWIE.

YOU SLOW DOWN ON ME, I COULD
WIND UP IN YOUR PROPELLER.

- YOU KNOW, THAT MAN IS OBVIOUSLY
A CARD-CARRYING LUNATIC.
- [Colt] YOU'RE COUNTING.

FIVE, FOUR, THREE...

BETTER SPEED HER UP A LITTLE,
HOWIE. I'M COMIN' IN TOO FAST.

SPEED IT UP. SPEED IT UP.

LOOK OUT! HE'S GONNA HIT!

MY GOD! HE BOUNCED RIGHT OFF US!

HE'S GOING IN! COLT! COLT!

[Howie] EVERYONE HANG ON.

[Jody] OH, GOD, COLT.

KNOCK IT OFF, JODY. THAT'S NOT
HOW WE PLANNED THE BACKUP.

BACKUP? HOWIE, HE'S UNCONSCIOUS.

COLT TOLD US WHAT TO DO
IF SOMETHING WENT WRONG.

YEAH, BUT HE'S PROBABLY DEAD.
PAY ATTENTION. YOU HAVE WORK TO DO.

LISTEN TO HIM, JODY. IT'S
THE ONLY CHANCE COLT HAS.

GET READY TO JUMP. OH, GOD.

TEN, NINE, EIGHT...

AND GO!

COME ON. YOU CAN DO IT, JODY.

COLT! COLT!

CAN YOU HEAR ME? PLEASE HEAR ME.

PLEASE SAY SOMETHING.

PERFECT, JODY. PERFECT.

YOU WERE CONSCIOUS
THE WHOLE TIME!

AND YOU'RE WEARING A CHUTE!
WE HAD TO TEST THE BACKUP.

AND YOU WERE IN ON IT TOO, R.J.

DO YOU THINK I'D GO ALONG WITH IT IF I
DIDN'T THINK COLT KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING?

- I MEAN, I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
- YOU DIRTY, ROTTEN...

HEY!

STUPID MALES.

[Big Jack] I CAME AS SOON AS
I HEARD. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

[Colt] JACK, REALLY,
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
I CARE ABOUT YOU.

WELL, YOU SURE HIDE IT WELL.

I'M EVEN HEARTBROKEN YOU'LL HAVE
TO LAY OFF STUNTS FOR EIGHT WEEKS.

SAID WHO? THE DOCTOR.

IT'LL BE TORTURE FOR YOU TO STAY
ON THE SIDELINES THAT LONG, BUT...

BUT NOTHING. WHAT
DO DOCTORS KNOW?

I'LL BE READY TO GO
BACK TO WORK IN A WEEK.

BUT STILL, A WEEK IS A LONG TIME FOR A
MAN LIKE YOU TO LAY AROUND THE HOUSE.

[Woman On P.A.] DR. PARKER, EMERGENCY
ROOM. DR. PARKER, EMERGENCY ROOM.

- WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?
- WELL, I'M WILLING
TO DO YOU A FAVOR,

AND GIVE YOU A VERY EASY CASE TO
KEEP YOUR MIND OFF YOUR INJURIES.

OH, NO. FORGET IT, JACK.

LOOK, I'M A STUNTMAN
FIRST, NOT A BOUNTY HUNTER.

I SWEAR, COLT, THIS ONE'S A SNAP.
LOOK AT THIS HARMLESS LITTLE PUSSYCAT.

HIS NAME IS MILTON BOX.
HE'S A COMPUTER EXPERT.

HE MADE A LITTLE MISTAKE, AND HE RIPPED
OFF A BANK FOR FIVE MILLION DOLLARS.

HE GOT CAUGHT
AND I BAILED HIM OUT.

AND THEN HE MADE ANOTHER
LITTLE MISTAKE AND JUMPED BAIL.

LOOK, DO YOU WANT TO EARN
AN EASY 10 GRAND OR NOT?

YEAH, ABOUT AS EASY AS CATCHING
THAT SCHOOLTEACHER FROM PASADENA...

THAT STOLE HER MOTHER'S CAT.

DON'T BLAME ME FOR THAT. I
HAD NO IDEA IT WAS A CERAMIC CAT.

YEAH, OR THAT IT WAS
FILLED WITH HEROIN.

BUT YOU KNEW THE
SCHOOLTEACHER WAS A HOOKER.

WELL, ONLY IN HER SPARE TIME. BUT I
HAD NO IDEA HER MOTHER WAS A MADAM.

ALL I KNOW IS I GOT
CAUGHT UP IN A CROSS

FIRE THAT WOULD HAVE
MADE CUSTER FEEL LUCKY.

BUT THIS ONE WILL BE DIFFERENT.

LOOK AT THIS MAN. CAN YOU
TELL ME YOU'RE SCARED OF HIM?

COME ON, WHAT'S THE CATCH? WHAT DID
HE DO, MURDER HIS MOTHER OR SOMETHING?

HE LOVES HIS MOTHER... AND
HE'S DEVOTED TO HIS WIFE.

BUT HOW DID THE
POLICE LET HIM GET AWAY?

ALL THEY HAD TO DO WAS LET HIM OUT
OF JAIL AND FOLLOW HIM TO THE MONEY.

THEY TRIED THAT.
YEAH? AND THEN WHAT?

HE GAVE THEM THE SLIP. UH-HUH.

COLT.

[Sneezes] GOD BLESS YOU.

THANK YOU.

[Colt] THE ONLY LEAD SO FAR IS
THAT MILTON'S WIFE IS MISSING TOO.

WOW. RHONDA STARR IS HOT STUFF.

WHAT DOES SHE SEE IN MILTON?

RIGHT NOW, FIVE MILLION BUCKS.

THAT COULD HELP CHANGE
A GUY'S IMAGE. YEAH.

WELL, RHONDA'S A MOVIE EXTRA.

THE POLICE QUESTIONED A
FRIEND OF HERS, ROSE DANTON.

THEY DIDN'T GET MUCH, EXCEPT THAT
RHONDA WALKED OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A JOB.

FALL GUY, THIS IS JODY. COLT, I'VE
TALKED TO SCREEN EXTRAS GUILD.

- ROSE DANTON'S WORKING
ON A MOVIE RIGHT NOW.
- YEAH? WHERE?

SHE'S WORKING AT TWENTIETH
CENTURY FOX TODAY.

RIGHT. WE GOT IT, JODY. THANKS.

YOU THINK YOU CAN GET MORE
INFORMATION OUT OF THIS ROSE?

WITH MY CHARM?

ROSE?

EXCUSE ME. ROSE DANTON?

YEAH. I'M COLT SEAVERS.

I UNDERSTAND YOU DO A LITTLE STUNT
WORK EVERY NOW AND THEN. YEAH.

WELL, I'M COORDINATING STUNTS
FOR A BIG PICTURE COMING UP. YEAH?

AND I'M GOING TO NEED SOME ESPECIALLY
ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WHO CAN DO STUNTS.

ARE YOU INTERESTED? YEAH.

WELL, THE FACT IS, I'M
GONNA NEED FOUR GIRLS,

AND YOU CAME HIGHLY
RECOMMENDED ALONG WITH A GIRL...

I THINK THAT'S A
FRIEND OF YOURS. YEAH?

A RHONDA STARR. YEAH.

YEAH. YOU, UH... COULD YOU
HELP PUT ME IN TOUCH WITH HER?

NO.

WELL, WHY NOT? SHE'S
OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

WELL, HOW FAR OUT IS SHE?

MEXICO. SHE'S NOT COMIN' BACK.

WE'LL BE PAYING
AWFULLY BIG MONEY.

HEY, COLT, TRUST ME.

THIS TIME SHE THINKS SHE'S
HITCHED HER WAGON TO A STAR...

I MEAN A REAL ONE... JERRY ROME.

THANKS. YOU'RE A REAL GENTLEMAN.

WOW.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? HER HUSBAND
HASN'T EVEN COME TO TRIAL YET,

AND SHE'S RUN OFF
WITH SOME ACTOR.

NOW HOW DO WE FIND HIM?

OH, ACTORS ARE EASY, KID.
THEY ALWAYS LEAVE A NUMBER.

[Phone Ringing]

HELLO?

UH, JERRY? COLT SEAVERS.

WHO?

[Clears Throat] COLT
SEAVERS. I'M A STUNTMAN.

A FRIEND OF MINE DOUBLED
YOU IN DEVIL'S REVENGE.

OH! WELL, UH, HOW'D
YOU TRACK ME DOWN?

WELL, NEVER LEAVE YOUR NUMBER WITH
YOUR AGENT IF YOU DON'T WANT WORK.

YOU GOT SOMETHING COMING UP?

WELL, NO, IT'S NOT MY PICTURE.

I'M JUST RIGGING THE
STUNTS FOR FRANCIS.

OF COURSE, I DID TELL
HIM ABOUT THE BOOK.

IT WAS ON THE BEST-SELLER
LIST FOR A YEAR.

UH, WAIT A MINUTE, UH, COLT.

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT
FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA?

WELL, NOW, LOOK. I'M NOT
PROMISING ANYTHING SPECIFIC,

BUT, OF COURSE, A LEAD IN ANY
ONE OF FRANCIS'S PICTURES...

IS REALLY A-A BIG BREAK.

LEAD? DID YOU SAY LEAD?

WELL, LOOK, I'VE PROBABLY SAID
MORE THAN I SHOULD ALREADY.

BUT I'LL BE COMING DOWN
AROUND THE WEEKEND...

TO LOOK OVER THE
LOCAL AIRPLANE SITUATION.

WELL, JERRY, THIS IS HARD FOR ME
TO SAY TO YOU, BUT I JUST CAN'T LIE.

I'M JUST GONNA COME
RIGHT OUT WITH IT.

HE DID ASK ME TO LOOK YOU OVER.

LOOK ME OVER? WELL, JERRY, YOU
HAVEN'T HAD A PICTURE IN A WHILE,

AND TALK IS AROUND
TOWN THAT YOU MIGHT BE...

JUST A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT.

OVERWEIGHT? ME? [Chuckles]
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

WELL, I'D RATHER NOT
SAY. BUT I TELL YOU WHAT.

WE'LL BE DOWN AROUND THE
WEEKEND. I LOOK FORWARD TO IT, PAL.

SEE YOU THEN. WHEW.

I'VE GOT TO LOSE 10
POUNDS BY SUNDAY.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

MAKING LOVE IS EQUAL
TO AN 11-MILE HIKE.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE RUN?

WHY NOT?

SO HOW DOES FINDING JERRY ROME
BRING US ANY CLOSER TO MILTON BOX?

ACCORDING TO THE POLICE
REPORT, MILTON WAS PICKED UP...

TRYING TO CROSS THE
BORDER INTO MEXICO.

WHERE DO WE FIND
JERRY ROME AND MRS. BOX?

MEXICO. PRETTY BIG COINCIDENCE.

WHY WOULD MILTON GO THERE WITH THE MONEY
WHEN HIS WIFE RAN OFF WITH JERRY ROME?

FOR ALL WE KNOW, THAT WAS PART OF
THE PLAN TO THROW HER FRIENDS OFF.

JERRY ROME MAY HAVE EVEN
HELPED PULL OFF THE ROBBERY.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE HIS
LAST PICTURE. ANYWAY, WHO CARES?

WE'RE GOING INTO MEXICO...

PUERTO VALLARTA... LAND OF MYSTERY,
ENCHANTMENT AND DARK-EYED WOMEN.

YEAH, DOWN, BOY.
THIS IS BUSINESS.

AT LEAST, IT BETTER BE IF I
HAVE TO STAY HOME, COLT.

IT'S ALL BUSINESS,
JODY, AND YOU TOO, KID.

ALL OF THESE CASES
ARE DANGEROUS,

AND I GUARANTEE THERE'S MORE TO
MILTON THAN WE KNOW... THERE HAS TO BE.

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME. SÍ, MI AMIGO.

UH, I'M LOOKING FOR A
PLACE TO STAY. UH-HUH.

YEAH. SOMETHING...
SOMETHING SPECIAL.

OH, MUCHO ESPECIAL, MUCHO
GRANDE, MUY CALUROSO.

NO, NO. "WRONG-O." NO,
UH, MUCHO, UH, BARATO.

OH, CHEAP. YEAH, CHEAPO.

NO TURISTA. ¿COMPRENDE?
SURE, SLICK AMIGO.

CHEAP YOU WANT,
CHEAP YOU GET, AMIGO.

[Speaking Spanish]

♪♪ [Mariachis Playing]

[Chattering]

WHERE HAS THIS
COUNTRY BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

LOOK AT THE LADIES, COLT. WE'RE
HERE TO WORK, KID, NOT PARTY.

BUT ONE COULDN'T HURT.

COLT?

COLT SEAVERS. HEY,
JERRY. HOW ARE YOU?

THIS IS MY YOUNG ASSOCIATE,
HOWIE MUNSON. JERRY ROME.

HOWIE. [Howie] HOW ARE YOU?

YOU'RE A BIG ONE. I BET
YOU'RE A STUNTMAN TOO.

GENTLEMEN, THIS IS
MY FIRST LADY, RHONDA.

RHONDA, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW
COLT'S FRIEND THE LAYOUT?

- WE HAVE SOME
BUSINESS TO DISCUSS.
- THAT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.

VERY PRETTY LADY. DID YOU MEET
HER HERE? HOLLYWOOD, ACTUALLY.

NOW ABOUT THIS PICTURE
THEY WANT ME FOR...

YOU KNOW, I MIGHT BE INTERESTED.

[Laughs]

MY GOD. WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIME YOU ATE?

UH, WELL, I DID HAVE LUNCH,
BUT IT DIDN'T COMPARE TO THIS.

[Laughs]

♪♪ [Men Singing In Spanish]

♪♪ [Continues] IS
SOMETHING WRONG?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

LOOK, HONEY, WHY
DON'T YOU JUST, UH,

MAKE YOURSELF
AT HOME, ALL RIGHT?

♪♪ [Continues]

STOP IT!

STOP IT, I SAID. ♪♪ [Ends]

WHO TOLD YOU TO PLAY THAT SONG?

♪♪ [Mariachi]

[Gasps] MI... WHA... I
MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

MILTON, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR
MIND? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT AM I DOING
HERE? YOU'RE MY WIFE.

OH, MILTON, I... I DON'T
LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

YOU GOTTA LEAVE ME ALONE.

YOU DON'T LOVE ME?
AFTER ALL I DID FOR YOU?

WELL, I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO DO IT.

NOW, LOOK. YOU'VE GOTTA GET OUT
OF HERE. JERRY'S GONNA KILL YOU.

I MEAN IT.

YEAH, WELL, MAYBE... MAYBE I'M
THE ONE WHO'LL DO THE KILLING.

YEAH. GOOD OLD MILTON, HUH?

WOULDN'T HURT A FLY.

YOU JUST TELL YOUR
FRIEND ONE THING...

HE BETTER BE OUT OF HERE BY
MORNING, OR I'LL BE WAITING FOR HIM.

WHAT?

YOU JUST GIVE HIM THAT MESSAGE.

FRANCIS ALSO THOUGHT THAT
YOUR HAVING BEEN A PILOT...

MIGHT MAKE IT EASIER TO DO
ALL THE FLYING STUFF DOWN HERE.

DO YOU STILL HAVE A LICENSE?
I EVEN HAVE A PRIVATE PLANE.

[Chuckles] BOY, YOU
SURE LIVE THE GOOD LIFE.

COLT? COLT, CAN I SEE
YOU FOR A SECOND?

IT'S URGENT.

WE JUST GOT A CALL FROM
THE BIG GUY AT THE STUDIO.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT BIG GUY?

MILTON BOX... I
JUST SAW HIM. HERE?

YEAH. NOT FOR LONG. HE'D BEEN TALKING
TO RHONDA, AND HE'S LEAVING. COME ON.

[Car Departing]

GREAT. WE PARKED
OUR TRUCK OUT BACK.

I'LL PARK IT FOR YOU, MA'AM.

[Tires Squeal] HEY! ARE YOU
GUYS PARKING ATTENDANTS?

[Tires Squeal]

SEÑOR EL CHEAPO, I THINK
SOMEBODY IS FOLLOWING US.

PEDRO, I'LL GIVE YOU DOUBLE
THE FARE IF YOU LOSE HIM.

AH, SEÑOR, THIS ROAD
IS VERY DANGEROUS,

AND FOR A FEW PESOS A
MAN SHOULD NOT RISK HIS LIFE.

HOW ABOUT A FEW HUNDRED PESOS?

HUNDRED?

SEÑOR, YOU JUST BOUGHT
YOURSELF A RIDE WITH THE DEVIL.

WELL, IT WON'T
BE THE FIRST TIME.

[Tires Squeal]

[Horn Honks]

[Tires Squealing]

YOU TAKE THE
WHEEL. I'M GETTIN' OUT.

YOU'RE WHAT?

THIS IS WHERE I GET OFF.

GO BACK, AMIGO.
THIS TAXI'S TAKEN.

I'M WARNING YOU.
I-I'M GONNA SHOOT.

MILTON, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

YEAH, I-I CAN HEAR YOU.

IF I SEE YOU, I'M
GONNA SHOOT YOU.

YEAH, WELL, IF YOU DON'T THROW THAT
GUN AWAY, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOUR DRIVER.

- AY, MAMACITA.
- NO. NO, YOU WOULDN'T...

B-BECAUSE YOU'D GET
KILLED RIGHT ALONG WITH ME.

I'M A STUNTMAN. I
DO THIS FOR A LIVING.

NOW, I'M GONNA COUNT TO FIVE.

- ONE...
- PLEASE, SEÑOR!

TWO, THREE...ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

- [Sighs]
- NOW, MOVE OVER, MILTON,
WILL YA?

WELL, I KNOW THIS IS A HELL OF A
WAY TO GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER,

BUT BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH WE
COULD BECOME REAL GOOD FRIENDS.

IF YOU'RE A STUNTMAN,
WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME?

OH, BETWEEN JOBS I DO A
LITTLE WORK FOR THE COURTS.

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE
TO HEAR MY SIDE OF THE STORY.

WE GOT PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT
ON THE WAY BACK TO LOS ANGELES,

BUT RIGHT NOW LET'S JUST GET YOUR
STUFF PACKED UP AND GET STARTED, HUH?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
MILTON IS HERE? HE'S IN JAIL.

NO, HE'S NOT IN JAIL. HE'S
HERE, AND HE HAS A GUN.

HE WOULDN'T DARE USE
A GUN. HE'S A LITTLE WIMP.

WELL, DID YOU THINK
HE'D EVER DARE...

RIP OFF A GOLD EXCHANGE
FOR FIVE MILLION DOLLARS?

IT'S PERFECT.

PERFECT? HE HAS A GUN.

WHICH GIVES ME EVERY
RIGHT TO PROTECT YOU...

FROM THIS CRAZED MANIAC ON THE
LOOSE FROM JAIL IN LOS ANGELES.

HE'S A FELON.

ONCE HE'S DEAD, OUR
TROUBLES ARE OVER.

I TOLD YOU THERE WASN'T
ANY MONEY IN THE ROOM.

I KNOW WHAT YOU TOLD ME.

IF YOU'D JUST TELL ME WHERE IT IS,
IT MIGHT GO A LOT BETTER FOR YOU.

OH, YEAH. YEAH, YOU'D
LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?

EVERYBODY WOULD LIKE THAT.

LOOK. ARE YOU A REASONABLE MAN?

I LIKE TO THINK SO, YES.

WELL, I HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING
TO EAT SINCE EARLY THIS MORNING,

AND COULDN'T WE HAVE
OUR SERIOUS DISCUSSION...

OVER, SAY, STEAK AND SODA POP?

ALL RIGHT... IF YOU
PROMISE TO REMEMBER...

THAT YOU ARE MY
PRISONER, AND I AM ARMED.

I PROMISE.

SODA POP.

♪♪ [Mariachi]

OH, THIS IS COZY.

I THOUGHT WE WERE DUCKING OUT
OF TOWN IN A HURRY? SIT DOWN, KID.

MILTON HERE WAS JUST
ABOUT TO EXPLAIN THE

WHEREABOUTS OF A
CERTAIN FIVE MILLION DOLLARS.

- I DON'T RECALL SAYING THAT.
- YES, YOU DID...

WHEN I AGREED TO BUY YOU THAT
NICE, BIG STEAK... AND THE SODA POP.

NO. NO, I SAID I WANTED TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT A PROPOSITION.

H-HOW MUCH DO YOU GUYS
GET FOR BRINGING ME IN?

$10,000.

[Chuckling] YOU MUST BE KIDDING.

NO, THAT'S PRETTY
MUCH IT. $10,000.

PLUS EXPENSES.

- I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO FUNNY.
- COME ON.

A MAN STEALS FIVE MILLION
DOLLARS... U.S. CASH...

AND ALL YOU GET
IS A PALTRY $10,000?

- YOU MADE A BAD DEAL.
- IT'S MY BUSINESS, AND I'LL
RUN IT THE WAY I LIKE.

BESIDES, I DON'T LIKE PUTTING
HIGH PRICES ON A MAN'S HEAD.

I MEAN, I CONSIDER WHAT I
DO A FORM OF POLICE WORK.

ALL I WANT IS AN HONEST
WAGE FOR AN HONEST JOB.

THEN I GUESS YOU WOULDN'T BE
INTERESTED IN MY PROPOSITION.

IF IT'S A FAIR-AND-SQUARE OFFER TO
RETURN THE MONEY FOR PLEA-BARGAINING,

YEAH, I'D BE INTERESTED
IN LISTENING TO YOU.

AW, FORGET PLEA-BARGAINING.

I'M OFFERING YOU AND YOUR FRIEND
HERE A GOOD SHARE OF THE MONEY I STOLE.

- ARE YOU TRYING TO BRIBE ME?
- ABSOLUTELY.

ALL RIGHT, MILTON. DINNER'S
OVER. THAT'S IT. LET'S GO.

FIVE PERCENT. NOT INTERESTED.

TEN PERCENT? NOT INTERESTED.

COLT, THAT'S A HALF
MILLION DOLLARS.

I HEARD HIM. I'M
STILL NOT INTERESTED.

GRACIAS, SEÑOR.

WELL, THEN NEITHER AM I.
I'M JUST GONNA STAY HERE.

MILTON, I'M ONLY SAYING
THIS ONCE. GET ON YOUR FEET.

YEAH, I'M SURE YOU'D SHOOT ME RIGHT
HERE IN FRONT OF ALL THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE.

SOME OF 'EM DON'T
LOOK SO INNOCENT.

I'M ONLY TELLING
YOU ONE MORE TIME,

THEN I'M GONNA PUT THIS GUN BEHIND
YOUR BACK AND MARCH YOU OUT OF HERE.

- NOW, ON YOUR FEET. COME ON.
- OKAY. JUST DON'T SAY
I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

SEÑORES, SEÑORITAS.

ALTHOUGH I'M NEW TO
YOUR QUAINT LITTLE VILLAGE...

MILTON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I THINK YOU OUGHT TO KNOW THAT
YOU HAVE A CROOK IN YOUR MIDST.

[Chattering]

- I'M THAT CROOK.
- [Laughter]

AND I JUST OFFERED THIS MAN
HERE A HALF A MILLION DOLLARS...

NOT TO TAKE ME BACK TO
LOS ANGELES AS HIS PRISONER.

- COLT, I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND
OF THIS.
- MILTON, WILL YOU SHUT UP?

NOW, Y-YOU SHOULD KNOW
THAT HE'S A VERY BRAVE...

AND COURAGEOUS AND HONEST
MAN, BECAUSE HE SAID NO.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND,
HE'S ALSO VERY STUPID.

THAT'S IT.

SO WHAT I'M DOING
IS, I'M OFFERING...

I'M OFFERING ALL OF YOU THE
SAME HALF A MILLION U.S. DOLLARS...

TO KEEP HIM FROM TAKING
ME ACROSS THE BORDER.

THINK ABOUT IT... A
HALF A MILLION BIG ONES.

MILTON, I DON'T BELIEVE
WHAT YOU JUST DID.

WELL, ANY PORT IN A
STORM. COME ON, GET IN.

COLT, WE ARE IN
SERIOUS TROUBLE HERE.

YOU DON'T EXPECT ANYONE IN THERE
TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY, DO YOU?

[Clamoring]

MILTON, YOU HAVE JUST MADE THE
SECOND-BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE.

¡MUCHACHOS!
[Shouting In Spanish]

[Howie] I DON'T SEE ANYONE.
I THINK WE GOT AWAY CLEAN.

THAT'S A LITTLE TOO
GOOD TO BE TRUE.

I WISH THEY'D TAKEN ME.

MILTON, ISN'T A LITTLE JAIL
TIME BETTER THAN BEING DEAD?

NOT WITHOUT RHONDA.

I-I JUST DON'T WANT TO
LIVE IF I CAN'T HAVE HER.

MILTON, I DON'T
LIKE TO SAY THIS,

BUT I DON'T THINK RHONDA'S
BEEN ALTOGETHER LOYAL TO YOU.

DON'T SAY THAT.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING
AGAINST RHONDA.

MILTON, I'M WARNING YOU.

MILTON! MILTON...

NO, YOU DON'T. NO, YOU DON'T.

NOBODY'S EVER GONNA
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME AGAIN.

NO. I'M NO MORE MR. PUSHOVER.

I'M IN CHARGE NOW.

MILTON, GIVE ME THE GUN.

LAY ONE HAND ON
ME AND I'LL SHOOT.

GO AHEAD.

EVERYONE THINKS I'M WORTHLESS...

EVEN TOTAL STRANGERS.

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE WORTHLESS,
MILTON, JUST CROOKED.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN
CARE IF I KILLED MYSELF.

NO, I JUST WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT
YOU DOING IT WITH AN EMPTY GUN.

[Clicks]

IS-ISN'T SOMEBODY GONNA
GUARD ME? WHERE YOU GONNA GO?

YOU REALLY THINK ANYONE'S GONNA
TRY AND TAKE HIM AWAY FROM US?

FOR A HALF A MILLION
DOLLARS? GEEZ.

WE GOTTA BE PREPARED FOR THE
WORST. EVER USE A SEMI-AUTOMATIC?

COLT, MY TWO
YEARS AT WEST POINT.

I KNOW. I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED.

[Vehicle Approaching] UH-OH.

GET IN.

MR. SEAVERS, I THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING I OUGHT TO TELL YOU.

NOT NOW, MILTON. YOU'VE
ALREADY CREATED ONE MESS FOR US.

YEAH, BUT I MIGHT HAVE CREATED
AN EVEN BIGGER MESS OVER THERE.

[Man] MR. SEAVERS...

- CAN YOU HEAR ME?
- THEY KNOW YOUR NAME.

YEAH.

YES, I CAN HEAR YOU.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

YOUR PRISONER... TURN HIM OVER.

WE WILL LET YOU GO UNHARMED.

I CAN'T DO THAT. I'M AN
OFFICER OF THE COURT.

- NOT IN MEXICO.
- WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER,
FRIEND.

HE'S WANTED IN THE UNITED STATES.
HE CROSSED YOUR BORDERS ILLEGALLY.

THAT IS A MATTER FOR OUR COURTS.

I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MINUTES.

- COLT, THERE MUST BE
40 OF THEM.
- I CAN COUNT.

DO AS HE SAYS. I DON'T
WANNA SEE ANYONE GET KILLED.

WE CAN'T TRUST THESE MEN NOT TO KILL
YOU ONCE YOU LEAD 'EM TO THE MONEY.

WHERE IS THE MONEY, MILTON?

I-I CAN'T TELL YOU.

ONE MINUTE, MR. SEAVERS.

YOU GUYS GET DOWN QUICK.

[Engine Starts]

HOLY...

COLT, WE CAN'T BREAK THROUGH
WITHOUT KILLING SOMEONE.

YEAH. US.

YOUR TIME IS UP.

RELEASE THE PRISONER
OR WE WILL TAKE HIM.

DO IT. DO IT.

MILTON, YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE GONNA BUY
'EM OFF WITH HALF THE MONEY. YOU'RE NOT.

YEAH, BUT THAT-THAT'S
MY PROBLEM.

YOU GUYS JUST GET OUT
OF HERE. SAVE YOURSELVES.

- COLT, WE DON'T HAVE
ANY CHOICE.
- MILTON, YOU'LL BE KILLED.

WITHOUT RHONDA, I DON'T CARE.

LOOK, I DON'T LIKE HAVING A
PRISONER TAKEN FROM ME AT GUNPOINT.

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO
HIM, I'M GONNA LOOK YOU UP.

I DON'T THINK YOU ARE IN ANY
POSITION TO BE MAKING THREATS.

[Men Whooping, Cheering]

GRACIAS, SEÑOR SEAVERS.

AND I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND
GOING TO THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES.

YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE TO WORK
WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

THEY'RE LIABLE TO PUT YOU IN JAIL
FOR CARRYING UNAUTHORIZED WEAPONS.

[Laughs] VÁMONOS.

KID. YEAH?

I CAN'T LET 'EM TAKE HIM.

I KNOW.

CAN'T ASK YOU TO GO WITH ME.

CAN'T STOP ME FROM
GOING ALONG EITHER.

THERE'S AN AWFUL LOT OF 'EM.

THE ELEMENT OF
SURPRISE IS ON OUR SIDE.

THEY COULDN'T POSSIBLY
THINK WE'D BE STUPID ENOUGH...

TO TRY AND SAVE
AN IDIOT LIKE MILTON.

MAKES SENSE TO ME.

[Tires Squealing]

[Colt] THIS MUST BE THE
PLACE. THERE ARE THE TRUCKS.

I'D HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO WALK AROUND
WITH FIVE MILLION DOLLARS ON ME.

I-I JUST TOOK ENOUGH TO GET TO
MEXICO AND A LITTLE TO SURVIVE ON.

HE'S DOIN' ALL RIGHT. AT LEAST HE'S
ALIVE. [Man] ...SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.

- COLT.
- [Man Continues, Indistinct]

SOMETHING JUST DOESN'T SMELL
RIGHT ABOUT THIS OPERATION.

THEY'RE BEING TOO POLITE. THOSE
GUNS LOOKED DOWNRIGHT MEAN TO ME.

IF WE'RE GONNA GET
MILTON OUT OF HERE,

WE GOTTA CREATE A
DISTRACTION. COME ON.

I ASK YOU FOR THE LAST TIME!

WHERE IS THE REST OF THE MONEY?

THE $500,000 YOU PROMISED
FOR YOUR FREEDOM.

COLT, THAT'S AN AWFUL
LOT OF PLASTIQUE.

YEAH, WELL, THERE'S
AN AWFUL LOT OF GUNS.

WE'LL FIND OUT HOW MUCH I
KNOW ABOUT SPECIAL EFFECTS...

IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.

[Clamoring] [Speaking Spanish]

OKAY, PAL, NOW WE'RE EVEN.

NOT EVEN, SEÑOR SEAVERS.
YOU ARE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.

I DON'T THINK SO. I DON'T THINK YOUR
FRIENDS WILL BE ABLE TO CATCH US.

YOU ARE IN A LOT OF
TROUBLE. I AM A POLICE OFFICER.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

IF YOU WILL CHECK THE WALLET IN
MY COAT, YOU WILL SEE FOR YOURSELF.

[Colt] OH, NO, MILTON.

- NOW YOU'RE REALLY MADE ME MAD.
- HE NEVER SHOWED ME THAT.

IT WAS OUR PURPOSE TO MAKE HIM
THINK WE WERE FELLOW CRIMINALS...

SO HE WOULD LEAD US
TO THE STOLEN MONEY.

ALL THIS IN COOPERATION WITH THE
LOS ANGELES POLICE DEPARTMENT.

COLT, COME ON. THEY'RE
ALL HEADING THIS WAY.

BOLT HIM TO THE FLOOR.

YOU ARE TREATING
ME LIKE A CRIMINAL.

FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU AND THAT
PACK ARE IN BUSINESS TOGETHER.

I WARN YOU, SEÑOR. OBSTRUCTION
OF JUSTICE IS ONE THING,

BUT KIDNAPPING IS QUITE ANOTHER.

¡MUCHACHOS! [Muffled]

[Men Shouting]

ALL RIGHT, MILTON,
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY...

WE'RE ALL GONNA GET OUT
OF THIS WITHOUT GOING TO JAIL.

YOU'RE GONNA TAKE US TO
THE MONEY. I CAN'T DO THAT.

MILTON. IT'S THE
TRUTH. I DON'T HAVE IT.

IF YOU DON'T, WHO DOES?
RHONDA HAS IT. I GAVE IT TO HER.

YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING.

I ONLY TOOK IT TO WIN HER
BACK. IT WAS ALL PLANNED.

WE WERE GONNA
MEET HERE IN MEXICO,

LIVE HAPPILY EVER
AFTER. WHAT HAPPENED?

RHONDA DECIDED SHE'D RATHER LIVE
HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH JERRY ROME.

I-I CAN'T STAND IT.

IF HE DARES TO
LAY A HAND ON HER...

IF THEY KNEW YOU WERE
PLANNING ON COMING TO MEXICO,

WHY DIDN'T THEY
GO SOMEPLACE ELSE?

BECAUSE JERRY ROME
KNEW HOW I'D GET TO MEXICO...

AFTER I'D GIVEN
RHONDA THE MONEY.

HE PHONED THE
POLICE. TIPPED 'EM OFF.

HE FIGURED I'D BE STUCK IN JAIL
WITHOUT ENOUGH MONEY TO RAISE BAIL.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT WAS JERRY
THAT TURNED YOU IN AND NOT RHONDA?

SHE WOULDN'T DO
THAT. OH, NOT RHONDA.

SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE
THAT KNEW YOUR PLANS.

THEN HE MUST HAVE
BEAT IT OUT OF HER.

[Phone Ringing]

HELLO?

THIS IS COLT SEAVERS.
CAN YOU TALK PRIVATELY?

- YES. WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S ABOUT RHONDA'S HUSBAND,
MILTON.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HER HUSBAND?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE ON A PICTURE.

WELL, JERRY, I MAY AS
WELL TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

WE MAY BE ALL OUT
OF TIME IF I DON'T.

WHO IS IT? IT'S COLT.

IF THAT'S RHONDA YOU'RE TALKING TO,
THERE'S NO ROOM FOR HER IN THIS DEAL.

WHAT DEAL? I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

LOOK, JERRY, I KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE FIVE MILLION DOLLARS.

NOW, I'M WILLING TO DEAL
IF YOU'RE WILLING TO LISTEN.

- THEN THE MOVIE
WAS ALL A HOAX?
- FORGET THE PICTURE.

LOOK, I'M NOT EXACTLY MAKING
MONEY AS A STUNTMAN, YOU KNOW.

YOU'VE GOT A CHOICE. IT'S
HALF THE MONEY OR JAIL.

THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS. I'M
GONNA CALL THE POLICE RIGHT NOW.

GO AHEAD, WHILE I
IMPLICATE YOU IN A MURDER.

MURDER?

YEAH. CALL THE POLICE.
THERE'S A CAPTAIN DELGADO.

THEY THINK HE'S
MISSING. I KNOW HE'S DEAD.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED IN THE
SAME CROSS FIRE AS DELGADO.

NOW THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO
KNOW WHERE THE MONEY IS...

IS MILTON AND YOU
AND RHONDA AND ME.

NOW, IF YOU WANNA CUT RHONDA OUT
OF ALL THIS WITHOUT MAKING A MESS,

JUST TELL HER THAT I'M
DEMANDING ALL THE MONEY...

IN RETURN FOR MY
SILENCE. THEN WHAT?

THEN YOU GET THE MONEY AND GET YOUR
PLANE READY. I'LL MEET YOU AT THE AIRPORT.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM THERE?

AFTER YOU DROP ME
OFF, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

THAT SOUNDS NICE AND NEAT.

BUT, UH, WHAT'S TO PREVENT ME...

FROM TAKING OFF ON MY OWN?

JERRY, I'M A
PROFESSIONAL HUNTER,

AND FOR THAT KIND
OF MONEY, I'LL FIND YOU.

- DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
- YES, I GUESS
I DO UNDERSTAND.

WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?
COLT SEAVERS IS A BOUNTY HUNTER.

- WHAT? HOW... HOW COULD HE KNOW?
- THAT IDIOT HUSBAND OF YOURS.

[Groans] NOW, LOOK.
WE HAVEN'T A CHOICE.

I HAVE TO GIVE HIM THE MONEY...

IF YOU AND I ARE EVER
GOING TO HAVE ANY HAPPINESS.

NOW GO GET THE MONEY.

ARE YOU READY? READY.

YOU TAKE THIS SEAT. I'M SURE
YOU'RE A BETTER PILOT THAN I.

JUST LET ME SEE THE
COLOR OF YOUR MONEY.

WELL, I THINK WE'RE GONNA...

WHAT'S THAT FOR, JERRY?

YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE
GONNA FLY THIS THING...

OUT OF THE COUNTRY
HOLDING ME AT GUNPOINT?

NO, YOU ARE. I'LL TURN YOU LOOSE
ONCE WE'RE SAFELY OUT OF MEXICO...

AND IN A NICE COMMUNITY
A LITTLE FARTHER SOUTH.

YOU KNOW, IT REALLY ISN'T FAIR TO
MAKE YOU FLY THE ENTIRE DISTANCE.

OH, I DON'T MIND.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?

LITTLE SPOT SOUTH OF
THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC,

WHERE I CAN CATCH A COMMERCIAL
FLIGHT BACK TO LOS ANGELES.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A REAL NICE PLAN.

I WAS THINKIN' I'D HANG AROUND
THE BAHAMAS FOR A WHILE.

SORRY, BUT I CAN'T LEAVE YOU AROUND
TO TELL ANYONE WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

JERRY, I WAS HOPING THAT
GUN WAS JUST A PRECAUTION...

SO THAT I WOULDN'T TAKE THE MONEY AND
TURN YOU IN WHILE WE WERE ON THE GROUND.

I'M SORRY. ONCE YOU'RE GONE, THERE'S
NO ONE TO KNOW I HAVE THE MONEY.

THAT SHOULD GIVE ME A NICE, LONG
TIME TO GET MY CAREER STARTED AGAIN.

THERE'S ALWAYS RHONDA.

SHE THINKS I'M GIVING
ALL THE MONEY TO YOU.

IT WAS YOUR PLAN, REMEMBER?

IF I SHOULD EVER SEE HER
AGAIN, I'LL JUST PLEAD DESPAIR...

AT THE WHOLE SORDID AFFAIR.

IF YOU'RE THINKING OF
PUTTING A BULLET IN ME,

I GOTTA WARN YOU THAT BODIES
DO HAVE A WAY OF SHOWING UP.

OH, I DON'T THINK A BULLET IS
NECESSARY. THE FALL SHOULD DO NICELY.

UNLATCH THE DOOR.

AND OUT.

LOOK, YOU, UH...

YOU DON'T THINK THAT I'M GOING
TO DO THIS WILLINGLY, DO YOU?

GET OUT.

[Groans]

[Delgado] YOU ARE ALL GOING TO
JAIL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES.

IF THIS DOESN'T
WORK, I'LL BE GLAD TO.

THERE! THERE HE IS.

¡SANTA MARÍA!

EVEN SEÑOR SEAVERS, I DO NOT
WANT TO SEE HIM DIE LIKE THIS.

HOLD ON.

[Colt On Radio]
LOOKING GOOD, HOWIE.

HOLD HER NICE AND STEADY. HE'S
CONSCIOUS. WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

COME ON. PICK UP SPEED, KID.
I'VE ONLY GOT ONE GOOD SHOT.

HEY, MIND IF I DROP IN?

INCREDIBLE, SEÑOR SEAVERS.

GOOD. THEN THAT'S A PRINT.

SEÑOR ROME.

YES? THERE'S SOMEONE
HERE TO SEE YOU.

YOU KNOW, THAT
REALLY WASN'T VERY NICE.

YOU DID A GOOD JOB
ON THIS ONE, COLT.

[Milton] THERE'S ANOTHER
WAY TO LOOK AT IT, RHONDA.

AT LEAST WE'LL BOTH BE
GETTING OUT ABOUT THE SAME TIME.

OH, MILTON.

I'LL BE AN OLD LADY.

NOT TO ME, YOU WON'T.

OH, MILTON, I'M SO SORRY.

SOMEHOW IT'S... IT'S ALL
GONNA WORK OUT JUST FINE.

RIGHT NOW,

I'M THE HAPPIEST
GUY IN THE WORLD.

UNBELIEVABLE. YOU KNOW, I
REALLY THINK HE BELIEVES IT.

WELL, HE'S IN LOVE. HOW
MUCH TIME WILL THEY DO?

OH, FIRST OFFENSE,
WHITE-COLLAR CRIME...

MIGHT NOT BE TOO BAD.

BUT JERRY ROME, ON THE OTHER
HAND, IS IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.

BIG JACK, WOULD YOU
DO ME A FAVOR? SURE.

MAKE SURE THAT MILTON
GETS A DECENT LAWYER.

OH, DECENT LAWYERS COST
MONEY. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
THIS ONE'S ON ME, HUH?

WHAT? COLT.

SPEAKING AS YOUR MANAGER,
YOU'RE GONNA DIE BROKE.

HEY, BROKE OR BROKEN... WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE? AT LEAST I'LL BE SMILING.

RIGHT, JERRY? $100,000. WHERE
AM I GOING TO FIND SOMEONE...

TO PUT UP $100,000 BAIL FOR ME?

JERRY...

OH, COME ON, GUYS.
THAT'S MY LIVING. COME ON.

[Man] FALL GUY IS A GLEN
LARSON PRODUCTION.