The Fall Guy (1981–1986): Season 1, Episode 19 - Charlie - full transcript

♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE
KIND TO KISS AND TELL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE BEEN
SEEN WITH FARRAH ♪

♪ I'VE NEVER BEEN
WITH ANYTHING LESS ♪

♪ THAN A NINE SO FINE ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN ON FIRE
WITH SALLY FIELD ♪

♪ GONE FAST WITH
A GIRL NAMED BO ♪

♪ BUT SOMEHOW THEY
JUST DON'T END UP AS MINE ♪

♪ IT'S A DEATH-DEFYIN'
LIFE I LEAD ♪

♪ I TAKE MY CHANCES ♪

♪ I DIE FOR A LIVIN' IN
THE MOVIES AND TV ♪

[Siren Wailing]



♪ BUT THE HARDEST
THING I EVER DO ♪

♪ IS WATCH MY LEADING LADIES ♪

♪ KISS SOME OTHER GUY
WHILE I'M BANDAGIN' MY KNEE ♪

♪ I MIGHT FALL FROM
A TALL BUILDIN' ♪

♪ I MIGHT ROLL A BRAND-NEW CAR ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MADE
REDFORD SUCH A STAR ♪

♪♪ [Women Vocalizing]

♪ I'VE NEVER SPENT
MUCH TIME IN SCHOOL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE TAUGHT
LADIES PLENTY ♪

♪ IT'S TRUE I HIRE MY
BODY OUT FOR PAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I'VE GOTTEN BURNED
OVER CHERYL TIEGS ♪

♪ BLOWN UP FOR RAQUEL WELCH ♪



♪ BUT WHEN I WIND UP IN
THE HAY, IT'S ONLY HAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I MIGHT JUMP AN
OPEN DRAWBRIDGE ♪

♪ OR TARZAN FROM A VINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MAKES EASTWOOD
LOOK SO FINE ♪♪

[Colt Narrating] THIS IS THE STORY OF
ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT UNSUNG HEROES.

I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN HIM, BUT
YOU NEVER KNEW WHO HE WAS.

YOU'VE CHEERED FOR
HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM,

WOMEN HAVE WANTED
TO DIE FOR HIM.

BUT DID HE EVER GET ANY
CREDIT? OR THE GIRL? NO.

HE WAS WHAT WE CALL A STUNTMAN.

AND THE REASON I'M TALKIN'
SO FONDLY ABOUT HIM IS...

WELL, BECAUSE IT'S
ME, COLT SEAVERS.

ANYWAY, PICTURE WORK ISN'T
WALL-TO-WALL EMPLOYMENT.

SO MAYBE YOU WONDER HOW A
GUY KEEPS HIS HEAD TOGETHER.

WELL, ONE WAY IS TO
WAIT BY THE PHONE...

AND WAIT... AND WAIT.

THE OTHER IS TO TAKE AN OCCASIONAL
JOB FOR THE COURT SYSTEM...

OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,

WHERE A MAN IS CONSIDERED
INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE...

GET OUT OF JAIL ON
WHAT WE CALL BAIL.

AND THEY RUN LIKE HELL.

THAT'S WHERE I COME IN. I SOMETIMES
PICK UP RENT MONEY TRYIN' TO FIND THEM...

AND BRING THEM BACK TO JUSTICE.

ONCE IN A WHILE, I GET A CHANCE
TO DO NOTHIN' WITH ALL MY BUDDIES.

HEY, TOM! HEY, WELCOME.
HOW YOU DOIN', ALL RIGHT?

OKAY? EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

HYAH! HYAH!

HYAH!

LOOK AT ALL THOSE PEOPLE, COLT.
GEE, THIS IS EXCITING. YEAH, I KNOW, KID.

REMEMBER, THE KEY IS TO PACE
YOURSELF. YOU DON'T WANNA PEAK TOO SOON.

WE GOT TWO DAYS OF
NONSTOP PARTYIN'. YEAH.

YEAH. HYAH! HYAH!

WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE OLD WELLS
FARGO MAN HIMSELF. [Horse Whinnies]

TAKE IT IN. HI, STAN.

HERE WE ARE.

WOW. WELL, JODY,
HOW WAS THE RIDE?

I'LL LET YOU KNOW AS SOON AS I GET
SOME FEELIN' BACK. COME ON OUT, BIG JACK.

THANKS, HOWIE.

OH, BOY. I'LL NEVER SIT AGAIN.

COLT, THE NEXT TIME YOU SAY
WE'RE TRAVELING BY COACH,

I'D LIKE TO SEE
THE TICKET FIRST.

I'LL SAY ONE THING, YOU STILL
KNOW HOW TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.

HELLO, GUS. HOW ARE YOU?
FINE. GOOD TO SEE YOU, COLT.

YOU KNOW JODY AND HOWIE. SURE.

THIS IS SAMANTHA
JACK, FRIEND OF OURS,

WANTED TO COME ALONG FOR
A FEW DAYS OF SUN AND FUN.

COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. YOU HAVE NO
WORRIES AT ALL. THIS IS A FUN-LOVIN' GROUP.

SURE LOOKS LIKE YOU
GOT A GOOD TURNOUT.

YEAH, WE GOT ALL THE BIG NAMES,
ALL EXCEPT FOR CHARLIE HEFFERTON.

OH, NO, CHARLIE... CHARLIE SAID SHE'D
BE HERE. YOU CAN BET SHE'LL SHOW UP.

- CHARLIE'S A SHE?
- BEST STUNTWOMAN
IN THE BUSINESS.

YEAH, I REMEMBER WHEN YOU AND
CHARLIE USED TO WORK TOGETHER.

YOU WERE A REAL PAIR TO DRAW TO.

- WELL, SHE HAD THAT
SPECIAL FLAIR, ALL RIGHT.
- COLT, LOOK AT THAT.

[Woman] THANKS FOR THE RIDE.

COLT, I THINK YOU'VE BEEN
JUST UPSTAGED. WATCH IT.

COLT, DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?

THAT'S CHARLIE.

SHOULDN'T WE GIVE HER SOME ROOM?

NO NEED TO. SHE
KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOIN'.

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Woman] YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

WHOO!

WHOO!

COLT! NICE TO SEE
YOU AGAIN, CHARLIE.

HOW ARE YOU? OH.

SORRY TO STEAL YOUR
THUNDER, BUT YOU KNOW ME.

WHERE THERE'S A STAGE,
I'LL DO A SHOW. I KNOW, I KNOW.

OH! THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

GREAT JUMP, CHARLIE. GOOD
TO SEE YOU. [Big Jack] GOOD JOB.

HEY, COME ON. LET'S
GET YOU GUYS SETTLED.

SEE YOU LATER.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
DO FOR AN ENCORE?

STICK AROUND, BIG FELLA,
AND YOU'LL FIND OUT. HI, GARY!

HEY, CHARLIE. COME OVER AND
SAY HELLO. YEAH, JUST A SECOND.

COLT, I'VE GOT ABOUT A MILLION
PEOPLE I'VE GOTTA SAY HELLO TO.

I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET MY BROTHER.
WHERE YOU GONNA BE LATER?

- THAT DEPENDS ON LADY LUCK.
- WELL, FINE. I'LL SEE YOU IN THE CASINO.

NOPE, I'LL BE HAVIN' A COLD BEER BY THE
POOL AND SEE WHO LADY LUCK BRINGS ME.

OH. WELL, IF YOU'RE REAL
LUCKY, SHE'LL BRING YOU ME.

AH. [Chuckles]

[Nickers] NOT BAD,
COLT. NOT BAD AT ALL.

YEAH, IT'S A GREAT TEAM OF
HORSES. TAKE CARE OF 'EM, WILL YA?

I WAS TALKIN' ABOUT THE GIRL.
I WANNA HANG OUT WITH YOU.

WAIT A MINUTE, KID.
YOU TRUST ME, DON'T YA?

WELL, YEAH, SURE, BUT... LET ME GIVE YOU
ADVICE THAT DAVE ROBINSON GAVE TO ME.

HE SAID, "'TIS A WISE
MAN THAT WOULDN'T

TRADE A WORLD FILLED
WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN...

FOR A TEAM OF
DEPENDABLE HORSES."

I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE WISE.

UH, DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BUY THAT.

OH, GREAT.

SHE LIKES ME. [Nickers]

♪♪ [Country]

[Man] GOT EIGHT, SKATE AND
DONATE. LET'S GO. ROLL 'EM UP.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

HEY, BOSS. CAN WE TALK
TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

I'M STUCK HERE. YOU BETTER
HAVE GOOD NEWS. WALK OVER HERE.

IT'S GOOD NEWS, ALL RIGHT. WE LOCATED
HEFFERTON. WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

HEY, BOSS, HE'S PRETTY SLIPPERY.
I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. WHERE IS HE?

WELL, THE RENT-A-CAR PLACE AT THE AIRPORT
GAVE HIS ADDRESS FOR A HOTEL RIGHT HERE.

DID HE HAVE THE MONEY WITH HIM? WE CHECKED
THE ROOM. IT'S NOT REGISTERED TO HIM.

IT'S REGISTERED TO SOME STUNTWOMAN
WHO'S ON SOME KIND OF VACATION.

IT FIGURES THAT LITTLE LEECH
WOULD BE LIVIN' OFF SOME BROAD.

YOU JUST GO SIT ON
HER. HE'LL POP UP.

HOW HARD DO YOU WANT US TO COME
DOWN ON HIM? HOW HARD IS DEAD?

HELLO, LOVELY LADIES.
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?

DO YOU MAKE A GOOD PIÑA COLADA?

DO I MAKE A GOOD PIÑA COLADA?

HONEY, YOU'RE LOOKIN'
AT THE BEST PIÑA COLADA

MAKER TO COME OUT OF
BREWSTER, PENNSYLVANIA.

COURSE, I'M THE ONLY PIÑA COLADA
MAKER TO COME OUT OF BREWSTER.

- WE'LL HAVE TWO.
- YOU DON'T HAPPEN
TO MAKE, UH,

DIET PIÑA COLADAS, DO YOU?

JACK, WE'RE ON
VACATION, REMEMBER?

YOU'RE RIGHT. MAKE
THOSE DOUBLES.

GO FOR IT. DOUBLES COMIN' UP.

NOW THIS IS WHY I
BECAME A STUNTMAN.

JUST LOOK AT ALL
THOSE BEAUTIFUL BODIES.

I FEEL LIKE A KID IN A
CANDY STORE. EASY, KID.

REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT
PEAKIN' TOO SOON. HOW ARE THE HORSES?

THE HORSES ARE FINE. THE
QUESTION IS HOW ARE THE WOMEN?

GREAT. YOU RUB 'EM DOWN?

- THE WOMEN?
- THE HORSES.

I BOUGHT 'EM ALL STEAKS AND
TOOK 'EM TO A SHOW, OKAY?

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT FAR.

COLT, IS IT MY IMAGINATION OR IS
THAT GUY ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE?

OH! I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK.

- HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.
- HE DID KNOW THAT AIR BAG
WAS THERE, DIDN'T HE?

COURSE HE DID. IT'S ONE OF THE
NEW ONES THEY'RE DEMONSTRATIN'.

THAT WAS JUST A DEMONSTRATION?

MM-HMM. AND A
LITTLE SHOWING OFF.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S A
LITTLE TOO MACHO FOR ME.

THINK I'M GONNA TAKE A SWIM IN
THE DIRECTION OF THAT REDHEAD.

SEE IF SHE LIKES THE
STRONG BUT SENSIBLE TYPE.

MMM. GOOD LUCK.

[Water Splashes]

COLT?

HEY, WHAT KEPT YOU? PULL
UP A CHAIR. I WISH I COULD,

BUT I SPENT SO MUCH TIME LOOKING FOR
MY BROTHER, I HAVEN'T BEEN TO MY ROOM YET.

HURRY BACK AND
I'LL BUY YOU A BEER.

WHY DON'T YOU COME TO THE
ROOM AND I'LL BUY YOU A BEER?

- I COULD USE A LITTLE COMPANY. RIGHT NOW.
- SOMETHING WRONG?

I HOPE NOT. I MEAN, I DON'T
REALLY THINK SO, NO. IT'S...

WE'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHIN' UP
TO DO. WE MIGHT AS WELL START NOW.

THAT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. I
GOTTA GET MY TRUNKS ANYWAY.

OKAY. [Exhales]

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE LEAVING
PARADISE. OH, TEMPORARILY.

HEY, DON'T FORGET. YOU PROMISED TO
TAKE YOUR NEW STUNT GIRL TO LUNCH.

WHO'S THAT? ME.

DON'T WORRY. I'LL HAVE
HIM BACK BY THEN. SHORTLY.

YOU KNOW, GUS WAS RIGHT.
THEY DO MAKE A GOOD TEAM.

OH, JODY!

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW
GOOD IT IS TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

IT'S BEEN A LONG
TIME, HASN'T IT?

IT MAKES FOR A
BETTER REUNION. TRUE.

[Snaps Fingers]
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

FORGOT TO STOP BY THE DESK TO
SEE IF MY BROTHER LEFT ME A MESSAGE.

I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA MEET YOU
HERE. SO DID I, BUT HE NEVER SHOWED.

MESSAGES FOR 516, PLEASE.

YOU WORRIED ABOUT HIM?

OH, A LITTLE.

YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. HE'S MY KID
BROTHER AND, UH, HE LIVES IN PHOENIX.

I'M NOT SO SURE THAT ALL HIS BUSINESS
DEALINGS ARE ENTIRELY ABOVEBOARD.

WELL, THAT HAPPENS IN
THIS TOWN. IS HE A GAMBLER?

I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT HE IS. I WAS HOPING

WE WERE GOING TO
HAVE A TALK ABOUT THAT.

[Whispers] CHARLIE!

MEL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
MEET ME AN HOUR AGO. SOMETHING CAME UP.

COLT?

COLT SEAVERS, THIS
IS MY BROTHER MEL.

HEY. HOW YOU DOIN', MEL? FINE.

I'LL GRAB A BEER. BE
RIGHT WITH YOU. SURE.

WHAT IS GOING ON? ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT? [Exhales] NOT EXACTLY.

DO YOU HAVE ANY
CASH? IT'S IMPORTANT.

- WHY?
- I... CHARLIE, I...

YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T ASK
YOU IF I WASN'T DESPERATE.

MEL, DO YOU WANT TO TALK
TO ME ABOUT IT OR SOMETHING?

I CAN'T EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW. WILL
YOU JUST GIVE ME THE MONEY?

SCUSE ME. HOPE I'M NOT
INTERRUPTING ANYTHING.

NO, HONEY. IT'S OKAY. HOW
MUCH MONEY DO YOU NEED?

GUESS A WHOLE LOT MORE
THAN YOU'RE CARRYIN', CHARLIE.

UH, HI, FELLAS. CAN WE HELP YOU?

BUTT OUT. [Colt] THAT'S ONE.

MEL, LANCE ROSS
WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU.

ME? I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.

I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY NAMED
LANCE ROSS. WE'LL INTRODUCE YOU.

HEY, FELLAS. WAIT A MINUTE. IF
THIS LANCE WANTS TO TALK TO MEL,

WHY DOESN'T HE COME
OVER AND HAVE A DRINK?

I'LL GIVE YOU 200,000 REASONS.

I GUESS WE'D BETTER ORDER SOME DRINKS,
BECAUSE THAT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME.

A REAL COMEDIAN,
HUH? [Colt] THAT'S TWO.

- LET'S GO, JUNIOR.
- HANDS OFF MY BROTHER.

YOU JUST BOUGHT
IT, PAL. [Charlie] HEY!

DAMN GOOD.

♪♪ [Country, Indistinct]

I FEEL GUILTY ALL
OVER. I'M SORRY.

GUILTY? WHY? THAT THIS HAD TO HAPPEN,
THAT YOU HAD TO GET INVOLVED IN IT.

INVOLVED IN WHAT? IN MY BROTHER'S
LIFE. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I AM.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S POSSIBLE
TO STRAIGHTEN HIM OUT ANYMORE.

I JUST PROMISED
MY PARENTS I'D TRY.

WAIT. WHERE YOU GOIN'?
AFTER MEL. HE MAY BE A FOOL,

BUT HE'S THE ONLY
BROTHER I'VE GOT.

YOU EVER STOP TO THINK YOU MAY BE
GETTIN' IN OVER YOUR HEAD ON THIS ONE?

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
MAYBE. AND MAYBE NOT.

YOU'RE GONNA STAY IN
YOUR ROOM UNTIL I FIND

OUT WHO THOSE GUYS
ARE AND WHAT'S GOIN' ON.

I'M GOIN' WITH YOU. NO, YOU'RE
NOT. AND IF YOU GIVE ME ANY MOUTH,

I'M GONNA PUT A FRIEND OF MINE OUTSIDE
YOUR DOOR TO MAKE SURE YOU STAY PUT.

OKAY? OKAY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU GUYS
LET HIM SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS.

HE GOT HELP. WHAT DO
YOU MEAN? FROM WHO?

FROM HIS SISTER
AND THIS OTHER GUY.

I'M UP TO HERE WITH ALIBIS FROM YOU TWO,
ALL RIGHT? I WANNA GET BACK TO THE HOTEL.

THERE'S A GUY OVER THERE, OWES
ME $200,000. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES.
I WANT IT BACK FROM HIM.

NOW LET'S GO.

[Screaming]

[Shouts] THAT WAS
GREAT. YOU GOTTA TRY IT.

UH-UH. I GET DIZZY
IN HIGH HEELS.

THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GONNA GET ME
OFF THE GROUND IS WITH ONE OF THESE.

[Man Chuckling]

[Chuckling, Shouting]

GOSH. BOY, YOU FELLAS HAVE GOTTA
BE BUBBLE UP TO PLUMB TO DO THAT.

HEY. DON'T KNOCK IT UNLESS
YOU'VE TRIED IT, BIG JACK.

OH, HI, COLT. WHAT
HAPPENED TO LUNCH?

OH, SOMETHING CAME UP.

THAT'S THE GUY
WHO WAS IN THE BAR.

RIGHT NOW, I'M LOOKIN' FOR AN OLD FRIEND
NAMED ROSCOE, WORKS HERE SOMEPLACE.

HMM. BARTENDER'S NAME IS ROSCOE.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

WHAT'S YOUR POISON? I'M BUYIN'.

WELL, RIGHT NOW I'M
LOOKIN' FOR INFORMATION,

BUT IT JUST MIGHT BE
UNHEALTHY AT THAT.

COLT, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE.

BUT YOU STAY HERE. LESS YOU
KNOW, THE BETTER. EXCUSE ME.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE A FUN
CONVENTION WITH A LOT OF SEXY STUNTMEN.

YOU SURE HE'S NOT
WORKIN' ON A CASE FOR YOU?

MM-HMM. I'M SURE.

HOW MANY OF THESE
PIÑA COLADAS HAVE I HAD?

HOWDY, ROSCOE. COLT SEAVERS!

HEY, MAN, I'M CLEAN! YOU GOT...
YOU GOTTA CATCH ME! [Shouts]

[Grunts, Sputters] MAN, I
HAVEN'T DONE A... A THING.

I DIDN'T SAY YOU DID. I JUST WANTED
TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS.

[Exhales] WELL, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY SO? I HATE GETTIN' WET.

- WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT A GUY NAMED LANCE ROSS?
- I NEVER HEARD OF HIM.

WELL, COME ON, ROSCOE.

- WHERE WE GOIN'?
- UP ON THE ROOF.

[Tarzan Yell]

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
BEIN' A STUNTMAN.

NO, I'M NOT GONNA LOVE BEIN' A STUNTMAN.
WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW ABOUT LANCE?

WHATEVER YOU CAN TELL ME.

WELL, BASICALLY HE'S
A... HE'S A LIGHTWEIGHT,

BUT WORD HAS IT THAT
HE GOT TOOK FOR A COUPLE

OF HUNDRED THOUSAND IN
A PHONY REAL ESTATE DEAL.

200,000 DOESN'T EXACTLY
SOUND LIKE A LIGHTWEIGHT.

NO, I'M TALKIN' ABOUT
HIM, NOT THE MONEY.

WHAT'S THE WORD ON WHO TOOK HIM?

WELL, IT'S A YOUNG, UH, CON
MAN... ANOTHER LIGHTWEIGHT.

- IS HE LOCAL?
- NO, HE'S FROM PHOENIX.

PHOENIX. NAME WOULDN'T
BE MEL, WOULD IT?

YEAH, THAT'S IT. THANKS, ROSCOE.

I'D CHANGE UNIFORMS
BEFORE THAT ONE SHRINKS.

NICE TALKIN' TO YOU, COLT.

ALL THAT AND NO DRINK?

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO
FIND OUT WHAT HE'S UP TO.

YEAH.

HEY. HEY! HEY. WHAT'D
THE COWBOY WANT?

WANTED AN ESTIMATE
ON A DAIQUIRI.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL TELL
YOU. I'LL TELL YOU.

OKAY. EVERYBODY UP.
WE'RE GONNA DO SOME

CELEBRATIN'. I'LL CALL
UPSTAIRS FOR CHARLIE.

FORGET IT. HANGIN' OUT WITH EX-PARTNERS
IS LIKE HANGIN' OUT WITH EX-WIVES.

JODY, I SWEAR. I WAS HELPIN'
CHARLIE OUT OF A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

TURNED OUT IT WASN'T SO SERIOUS.

I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG
BEFORE, BUT YOU SURE LOOK BETTER NOW.

OH, COME ON, JODY.
COME ON. LET'S GO.

JODY, I SWEAR I'M NOT TAKIN'
CHARLIE BACK AS MY PARTNER.

I JUST HAD TO SATISFY MYSELF THAT THIS
LANCE ROSS WASN'T GONNA HARM HER BROTHER.

- LANCE ROSS?
- HE'S JUST A SMALL-TIME
OPERATOR FROM PHOENIX.

LITTLE HANDLING, NO PROBLEM.

- COLT, I THINK
YOU BETTER SIT DOWN.
- WHAT?

LANCE ROSS IS A SMALL-TIME
OPERATOR, BUT HIS FATHER ISN'T.

HIS FATHER. HOW
HEAVY IS HIS FATHER?

HIS FATHER'S NAME
IS TONY THE GROCER.

T... TONY THE GROCER?

TONY THE GROCER. HE STARTED
OUT DELIVERING PRODUCE,

BUT THEN HE DISCOVERED
THERE WAS A LOT MORE

LETTUCE IN BOOZE THAN
THERE WAS IN LETTUCE.

HIS KID'S REAL NAME IS BILLY.
THEY CALL HIM BILLY THE BOX BOY.

BOX BOY? I THOUGHT
HIS NAME WAS LANCE.

WELL, HE THOUGHT LANCE, YOU KNOW, WAS
THE KIND OF NAME PEOPLE WOULD RESPECT.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WEAR AN EXPENSIVE SUIT
OF CLOTHING, IT MAKES YOU FEEL IMPORTANT.

SOUNDS LIKE A REAL WINNER.
BUT A VERY DANGEROUS LOSER.

HE KEEPS TRYING TO
MAKE THAT BIG SCORE,

AND HE KEEPS TRYING TO GAIN
THE RESPECT OF HIS FATHER.

[Clears Throat] THIS, UH,
BILLY THE BOX BOY...

HE WOULDN'T BE THE KIND
OF GUY THAT WOULD, UH,

HAVE $200,000 TO INVEST IN
A PHONY SCHEME, WOULD HE?

$200,000? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

HE'D HAVE TO HAVE DIPPED
INTO ONE OF HIS DAD'S ILLEGAL...

WHAT'S WRONG, COLT?

YOU DON'T LOOK TOO GOOD. YOU
DON'T DRINK PIÑA COLADAS EITHER.

I DO NOW.

MY BROTHER SWINDLED
THE MOB? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU CAN BELIEVE IT. I DON'T THINK
HE QUITE REALIZED IT WAS THE MOB.

I'D CHALK THAT UP
TO REAL BAD LUCK.

THEN THEY WANNA KILL MELVIN.

THEY PROBABLY WANNA GET THEIR
MONEY BACK FIRST, THEN KILL HIM. OH, COLT.

UH, TRY AND KILL HIM. WE'RE
NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN.

[Sighs] WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

FIRST OF ALL, WE GOTTA FIND MEL, SEE
HOW MUCH OF THAT MONEY HE STILL HAS LEFT.

- AND CHANCES ARE,
WE CAN MAKE A DEAL.
- NOT "WE." ME.

LOOK. I'M A STUNTWOMAN, REMEMBER?
I CAN HANDLE MYSELF OUT THERE.

- BESIDES, I'VE GOTTEN YOU
IN ENOUGH TROUBLE AS IT IS.
- I DON'T CALL THIS TROUBLE.

COLT, I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE
TRYING TO DO, REALLY. BUT IT'S POINTLESS.

MEL IS MY BROTHER, HE'S MY PROBLEM,
AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY STAKE IN THIS.

I THINK I DO.

GEE, I LOVE IT WHEN A MAN
WON'T TAKE "NO" FOR AN ANSWER.

COME ON. LET'S GO
FIND YOUR BROTHER.

[Sniffles]

WHAT IS IT? IT'S THE TWO
THUGS FROM THE BAR.

COME ON.

[Pounding]

[Man] HEY, WHAT'S
GOIN' ON? EXCUSE US.

[Woman] I THOUGHT YOU
SAID THIS WAS A PRIVATE

ROOM, JEROME. ARE
THESE FRIENDS OF YOURS?

HAVE A NICE DAY.

COME ON.

THIS MAY SOUND SILLY, BUT
WHY ARE WE RUNNING UP?

DON'T TALK WHILE YOU'RE
RUNNING. IT SLOWS YOU DOWN.

ALL'S I CAN SAY IS, I HOPE
YOU KNOW SOMETHING

I DON'T KNOW, LIKE HOW
WE'RE GONNA GET DOWN.

TRUST ME. I DID TRUST YOU,

AND LOOK WHERE WE WOUND UP: STUCK ON A ROOF
WITH TWO HOODS BREATHING DOWN OUR NECK.

WE AIN'T STUCK. COME ON.

JUMP!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE'RE NOT
STUCK? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

WE'RE GONNA JUMP. ARE YOU CRAZY?

CLOSE YOUR EYES. [Screams]

[Both Screaming]

[People Cheering] YOU KNEW ABOUT
THIS BAG ALL THE TIME, DIDN'T YOU?

BUT WOULD YOU TELL ME? NO.
YOU HAD TO SCARE ME TO DEATH.

I TOLD YOU TO TRUST ME.

TRUST YOU. YOU SEE IF I TRUST
YOU EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE.

[Bell Dings]

WELL? WHERE IS HE? WE
HAD 'EM. WE HAD 'EM BOTH.

TILL HE JUMPED OFF
THE ROOF. HE WHAT?

HE JUMPED INTO SOME
KIND OF AN AIR BAG.

HE MUST BE A STUNTMAN WITH THE
CONVENTION HERE. THAT'S TERRIFIC.

HI. ANY MESSAGES FOR 207?

SEE THAT GIRL? THAT'S THE ONE
WHO WAS AT THE POOL WITH HIM.

I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME WE TOOK
THE UPPER HAND IN THIS AFFAIR.

AND THIS TIME, LET'S NOT
BLOW IT, ALL RIGHT? RIGHT.

YOU GOT IT.

WALK BETWEEN US AND
SAY NOTHING. WHO ARE YOU?

JUST WALK. THIS IS SOME
KIND OF A JOKE, RIGHT?

YEAH, IT'S A JOKE. WE'LL
ALL LAUGH ABOUT IT LATER.

[Jody] HEY! OW! TAKE
IT EASY, YOU GUYS.

UH... OH, NO, NO.
OW! [Engine Starts]

THAT'S JODY.

[Charlie] COLT! LOOK OUT!

[Tires Squealing]

OW.

WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT? NOTHING.
SECURITY PEOPLE DIDN'T SEE A THING.

YEAH, OR THEY'RE NOT TALKING.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
WE KNOW IT WAS LANCE ROSS.

YEAH. DO WE KNOW
HE'S PLAYIN' FOR KEEPS?

COLT, I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE
TOLD ME YOU WERE IN TROUBLE.

AT THE TIME, I REALLY DIDN'T
THINK I WAS. [Charlie] YOU WEREN'T.

YOU HAVE TO POINT FINGERS,
POINT 'EM AT ME. IT WAS MY FAULT.

OH, COME ON, CHARLIE.
DON'T BLAME YOURSELF.

YEAH, BLAME YOUR BROTHER.

SO WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO NOW, COLT?

I'M NOT HANGIN' HERE. I'M GONNA
LOOK FOR THAT PUNK, LANCE ROSS.

OKAY.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME WHAT COLT
SEAVERS HAS TO DO WITH MEL HEFFERTON.

NOTHIN'. NOTHIN', EH?

WELL, HE'S AN OLD FRIEND
OF CHARLIE HEFFERTON.

MEL'S SISTER? RIGHT.

MUST BE PRETTY CLOSE FRIENDS IF
HE'S WILLING TO RISK HIS LIFE FOR HER.

YEAH, WELL, COLT'S LIKE THAT.
HE'S A REAL MAN OF ADVENTURE, HUH?

HE'S A STUNTMAN.

THAT'S ALL? ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?

THERE'S NO NEED TO
GET DEFENSIVE, HONEY.

SEE, WE KNOW COLT
SEAVERS IS A BOUNTY HUNTER.

I HAVE A FEW FRIENDS, I
MAKE A FEW PHONE CALLS.

IT'S A GOOD THING FOR YOU
THAT HE IS A PROFESSIONAL.

IT'S A GOOD THING
FOR BOTH OF US.

[Chattering]

[Phone Ringing] WANT
ME TO GET THAT, COLT?

NO. I BETTER GET IT.

- COLT SEAVERS.
- HELLO, MR. SEAVERS.

YOU ENJOYING YOUR TRIP TO RENO?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S CUT THE SMALL TALK,
PAL. I WANT JODY BACK, AND I WANT HER NOW.

WE'LL DISCUSS IT WHEN
YOU DELIVER MEL HEFFERTON.

I DON'T HAVE MEL
HEFFERTON. THAT'S TOO BAD.

JODY WAS EASY TO
FIND, BUT MEL ISN'T.

FROM WHAT PEOPLE TELL ME,
THAT SHOULDN'T BE TOO DIFFICULT...

FOR A MAN OF YOUR
EXTRAORDINARY TALENTS.

WHAT ARE YOU PROPOSING?

SIMPLE EXCHANGE. YOU
FIND MEL HEFFERTON,

YOU BRING HIM TO ME, AND
YOUR FRIEND GOES FREE.

I MAY JUST FIND YOU FIRST.

WELL, I DON'T THINK YOU
COULD FIND ME IN TWO HOURS,

AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW MUCH TIME
YOU HAVE BEFORE I KILL YOUR FRIEND.

KILLING HER WON'T GET YOU
MEL, BUT IT'LL GET YOU DEAD.

WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT,
BUSTER. I WON'T KILL HER.

BUT AFTER I GET THROUGH WITH HER,
BELIEVE ME, SHE'LL WISH SHE WAS DEAD.

NOW, DO WE HAVE
AN UNDERSTANDING?

YEAH, WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING.
BUT YOU UNDERSTAND THIS.

YOU LAY ONE HAND ON JODY, AND I'LL SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE TRACKIN' YOU DOWN.

WELL, LET'S HOPE THAT WON'T BE
NECESSARY. GOOD-BYE, MR. SEAVERS.

WHAT'D HE SAY?

HE SAID IF WE DON'T FIND HER BROTHER,
HE'S GONNA KILL JODY OR WORSE.

- OR WORSE?
- TALK ABOUT A NO-WIN SITUATION.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, COLT?

CHARLIE, MEL'S GOTTA HAVE
SOMEBODY HERE IN RENO HE'D TURN TO,

SOMEBODY THAT'S
HELPING TO HIDE HIM OUT.

COLT, I ONLY KNOW ONE PERSON OTHER THAN
HIMSELF THAT MEL EVER HAD ANY INTEREST IN.

- I DON'T KNOW IF HE WOULD TURN
TO HER IN THIS KIND OF TROUBLE.
- WE'LL NEVER KNOW UNLESS WE ASK.

LET'S GO. WE DON'T
HAVE MUCH TIME.

[Colt] WHERE IS IT
THAT WE'RE GOIN'?

WELL, ALL MY BROTHER
USED TO TALK ABOUT...

WAS THIS DANCER HE WAS DATING WHO
WORKED IN A CLUB SOMEWHERE OFF THE STREET.

HOW FAR OFF? WAY OFF.

♪♪ [Pop]

[Glass Shatters]

MY BROTHER NEVER REALLY HAD WHAT
YOU MIGHT CALL GREAT TASTE IN WOMEN.

[Howie] HIS TASTE DOESN'T
SEEM TOO BAD TO ME.

WHAT'LL IT BE, FOLKS? PERSONALLY,
I RECOMMEND THE CHI-CHIS.

WE JUST WANNA TALK TO
ONE OF YOUR DANCERS.

- WHAT ABOUT?
- IT'S PERSONAL.

PERSONAL, HUH? THAT KIND OF
TALKIN' CAN GET PRETTY EXPENSIVE.

UH...

HMM. OH, VERY GENEROUS.

NOT SO FAST.

YOU CALL IT, YOU WIN. IT'S YOURS. I
WIN, YOU TELL US WHAT WE WANNA KNOW.

HMM. THAT'S THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH
THIS CITY. EVERYBODY'S A GAMBLER.

OKAY, FLIP IT.

GOOD GIRL.

RED SIDE UP.

SORRY.

OKAY, COWBOY. WHICH DANCER
DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR MIND?

- MONIQUE MALROW.
- YOUR LUCK JUST RAN OUT.

MONIQUE HASN'T WORKED
HERE SINCE LAST MONTH.

- WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?
- SHE HIT THE BIG TIME.

- LANDED A JOB IN THE MAIN HUB.
- WHICH HOTEL?

UH, THE ONE WHERE ALL THE
GIRLS WEAR THE BIG HEADDRESSES.

YEAH, YEAH. SURE. I
KNOW THE ONE. THANK YOU.

HEY, HOLD YOUR
HORSES THERE, COWBOY.

WE HAVE A TWO DRINK MINIMUM.

TIMES THREE, THAT'LL
BE 90 BUCKS. 90 BUCKS?

YEAH, $15 A DRINK, WHETHER
YOU DRINK 'EM OR NOT.

WELL, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
IT CERTAINLY IS.

IF YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA PAY 90
BUCKS FOR NOTHIN', YOU'RE CRAZY, LADY.

FIFTEEN BUCKS A DRINK. THAT'S
OUTRAGEOUS. I HAPPEN TO KNOW...

THAT THERE ARE LAWS IN
THIS STATE AGAINST CLIP

JOINTS TRYIN' TO DO
WHAT YOU'RE DOIN' TO US.

- UH, HOWIE.
- COLT, IF EVER THERE WAS...

A TIME FOR RIGHTEOUS
INDIGNATION, THIS IS IT.

[Clears Throat] HOWIE, WHY
DON'T WE JUST PAY THE LADY?

SOMEBODY HAS TO
TEACH THESE PEOPLE THAT

THEY CAN'T GET AWAY
WITH THIS KIND OF THING.

HOWIE. HOWIE. LISTEN TO COLT.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I LOVE AS
MUCH AS BEING A STUNTMAN, IT'S LAW,

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S
CLEARLY ON MY SIDE.

UH, THE LAW IN
HERE IS ON MY SIDE.

OR SHOULD I SAY BEHIND YOU?

[Colt] IT'S NOT WORTH IT, KID. WE'RE STILL
PAYIN' FOR THE LAST BAR WE BROKE UP.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE
WE OUGHTA JUST... PAY THE BILL.

A GOOD IDEA. A BROKEN
JAW IS NOT WORTH 90 BUCKS.

TWENTY, 40, 60, 80, 100.

KEEP THE CHANGE.

ALL OF IT.

Y'ALL COME BACK NOW, ANY TIME.

SMOOTH, KID. REAL SMOOTH.

COLT, I'VE GOT A GOOD
FEELING ABOUT THIS. I

THINK MONIQUE'S GONNA
LEAD US STRAIGHT TO MEL.

YEAH, I HOPE SO. HOW
MUCH TIME HAVE WE GOT?

LESS THAN AN HOUR.

HADN'T YOU BETTER GET THIS THING
IN GEAR? LET'S SEE SOME DRIVIN', BOY.

[Tires Squealing]

[Colt] YOU MEAN LIKE THAT? [Charlie] YOU
HAVEN'T LOST YOUR TOUCH BEHIND THE WHEEL.

♪♪ [Piano: Up-tempo] [Man] OKAY,
GIRLS. LET'S PUT A LITTLE LIFE IN IT.

♪♪ [Continues]

OKAY, KELLY. SMILE
NOW. COME ON. SMILE.

COME ON. LET'S KICK HIGH.
THAT'S A GIRL. THAT'S IT.

EXCUSE ME. WHERE DO
WE FIND MONIQUE MALROW?

SHE'S STILL IN HER
DRESSING ROOM,

AND WILL YOU TELL HER
TO PLEASE GET OUT HERE?

OKAY, GIRLS. A
LITTLE LIVELY NOW.

EXCUSE ME. MONIQUE? YES?

WE'RE LOOKIN' FOR MEL HEFFERTON. THOUGHT
MAYBE YOU MIGHT COULD HELP US FIND HIM.

- [Monique] YOU'RE GONNA
BE SORELY DISAPPOINTED.
- PLEASE. MEL'S MY BROTHER.

HE'S IN TROUBLE, AND
WE'RE TRYIN' TO FIND HIM.

SORRY. I HAVEN'T
SEEN HIM IN WEEKS.

HEY, MONIQUE. THAT
MEANS YOU, BABE.

- I'VE GOTTA GO.
- I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.

LOOK, I TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW WHERE
HE IS. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

HEY, MONIQUE. IF YOU'RE
NOT OUT HERE IN TWO

SECONDS, YOU'RE GOING
BACK ON THE STREETS.

LET ME GO. SURE. BREAK A LEG.

♪♪ [Continues]

COLT, THERE HE GOES!

MEL!

MEL, COME BACK HERE!

[Charlie] MEL, YOU IDIOT!

MEL, WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS.

WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS
SUPPOSED TO BE A REHEARSAL.

GO THAT WAY, KID.

SORRY.

WHOA!

ANY LEAKS? THE POLICE WILL
NEVER KNOW YOU'RE IN THIS STATE.

GOOD, GOOD. HAVE THE PILOT COME BACK
IN FOUR HOURS SO HE DOESN'T GET SPOTTED.

YOUR FRIEND IS RUNNING
OUT OF TIME, HONEY.

COLT ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN,
EVEN IF HE IS BEING BLACKMAILED.

DAD.

YOU GUYS TAKE HER IN
THE OTHER ROOM. YEAH.

DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? YOU KNOW
THEY GOT A WARRANT FOR YOU IN NEVADA.

HOW'S MOM?

MY SON, THE BIG SHOT! I GOT HALF
A MIND TO TAKE YOU OVER MY KNEE.

- COME ON, DAD.
- YOU'RE SUCH A... AH, I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT.

YOUR MOTHER AND ME, WE
ASKED GOD TO GIVE US A SON,

AND WHAT DOES HE
DO? HE GIVES US YOU.

DAD, I...

YOU'RE NEARLY 30, AND I'M
STILL CLEANIN' UP YOUR MESSES.

DAD... DON'T INTERRUPT
ME WHEN I'M TALKIN' TO YOU.

NOW WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?

HOW COME YOU LET SOME TWO-BIT
HUSTLER GET THE BEST OF YOU?

DAD, DON'T WORRY. I GOT A PROFESSIONAL
GUY AND HE'S OUT TRACKIN' HIM DOWN.

WHAT? YOU GOT SOMEBODY ELSE
INVOLVED? WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH YOU?

DAD, DON'T WORRY. I'LL
GET THE MONEY BACK.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.

IT'S $200,000. $200,000 I
CAN MAKE IN A GOOD WEEK.

I'M HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE
I DON'T WANT YOU TO LOOK LIKE A FOOL.

- I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE
KNOWN BETTER.
- WELL, NOW YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU?

I JUST THOUGHT THIS TIME I COULD
DO IT BY MYSELF. I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, DAD?

WE'RE GONNA FIND HEFFERTON AND
WHOEVER ELSE YOU GOT INVOLVED IN THIS,

AND WE'RE GONNA TAKE 'EM
FOR A RIDE IN THE DESERT.

AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE SURE
THAT THEY NEVER COME BACK.

TELL ME SOMETHING, MEL. HOW COULD YOU BE
SO STUPID AS TO TRY TO RIP OFF A RACKETEER?

I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS CONNECTED TO
THE MOB. IT LOOKED LIKE A SURE THING.

LANCE ROSS IS ABOUT
AS BRIGHT AS THE BOTTOM

OF A COAL MINE. I NEVER
THOUGHT HE'D CATCH ON.

[Sighs] MEL, I SWEAR. SOMETIMES
I WONDER IF YOU'RE MY BROTHER.

HEY, IT'S NOT LIKE I ROBBED A HELPLESS
VICTIM. THE GUY'S A CROOK HIMSELF.

YEAH, A CROOK THAT'S
HOLDIN' JODY HOSTAGE...

UNTIL YOU COME UP WITH THE
$200,000 YOU STOLE FROM HIM.

- YEAH, I KNOW. THAT'S GONNA BE A PROBLEM.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, A PROBLEM?

I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY. I
BLEW IT AT THE CRAP TABLES.

YOU WHAT?

WHY DO YOU THINK I WAS HITTING
YOU UP FOR CASH? I'M BUSTED.

I WAS TRYIN' TO RAISE A
STAKE TO GET OUT OF TOWN.

COLT, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY TRYIN' TO
RAISE $200,000 IN THE NEXT 17 SECONDS.

LOOKS LIKE ALL WE HAVE TO OFFER
LANCE IS MEL IN EXCHANGE FOR JODY.

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU CAN'T
JUST FEED ME TO THE WOLVES.

OH, WE'RE NOT GONNA LET THEM
EAT YOU. JUST LICK YOUR FACE A LITTLE.

[Phone Rings]

- SEAVERS.
- HELLO, MR. SEAVERS. I HOPE
YOU HAVE SOMETHING FOR ME.

- YES, I DO.
- IS IT GREEN?

- NO, YELLOW.
- I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW YOU.

I'VE GOT YOUR MAN. YOU'LL HAVE TO GET
YOUR MONEY OUT OF HIM ANY WAY YOU CAN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PLANNING
A WEDDING? GIVE ME THAT PHONE.

- SEAVERS?
- WHO'S THIS?

THIS IS THE BOY'S FATHER. HAVE
YOU GOT MEL HEFFERTON? YES, I DO.

OKAY. LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO
MAKE THE EXCHANGE? IN PUBLIC.

HUH. I SEE YOU'RE A MAN WHO
TAKES PRECAUTIONS. VERY WELL.

WHY DON'T WE MAKE IT
THE BAR IN OUR HOTEL?

RIGHT. MY SON WILL BE THERE
WITH YOUR FRIEND IN 30 MINUTES.

[Handset Settles In
Cradle] IT'S ALL SET.

WELL, DON'T WORRY, DAD.
HE WON'T GET AWAY THIS TIME.

- WHO WAS IT?
- LANCE'S FATHER.

TONY THE GROCER HIMSELF?

[Big Jack] THIS HAS GOTTEN
PRETTY SERIOUS IF HE'S IN TOWN.

THERE'S A WARRANT
OUT FOR HIS ARREST,

WHICH MEANS THE RENO
POLICE WILL PICK HIM UP ON SIGHT.

NO WONDER HE'S IN SUCH A HURRY.
ANOTHER THING YOU BETTER KNOW.

- WHEREVER HE GOES,
A LOT OF MUSCLE GOES WITH HIM.
- NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU CAN'T TURN ME OVER TO
A GUY LIKE THAT. HE'LL KILL ME.

COLT, HE IS MY BROTHER.
CAN'T WE WORK SOMETHING OUT?

IT'S WHAT I'M TRYIN'
TO FIGURE OUT.

COME ON, KID. LET'S GO TO THE
BAR. WE GOT SOME RECRUITING TO DO.

WHO ARE WE GONNA RECRUIT?
EVERY AVAILABLE STUNTMAN.

- WHAT FOR?
- MORAL SUPPORT.

[Colt] TONY THE GROCER WOULDN'T
USE THE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT.

HE'D PROBABLY SNEAK ONTO ONE OF
THOSE RANCH STRIPS NORTH OF THE CITY.

THIS GUY COULD BE UP TO ANYTHING,
SO LET'S NOT TAKE ANY CHANCES.

I'M ALL FOR THAT. WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA LET US IN ON YOUR PLAN?

I DON'T GOT ONE. JUST
FOLLOW MY LEAD, HUH?

IT'S BEEN QUITE A WHILE, MELVIN.

WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR BARGAIN?
YOU SAID YOU WERE BRINGIN' JODY.

THERE'S BEEN A LITTLE
CHANGE IN THE PLANS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, A
LITTLE CHANGE IN THE PLANS?

WELL, WE'LL ALL WALK OUTSIDE
AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

- YOU SLIMY...
- SIT DOWN, BUSTER. WE DON'T NEED A SCENE.

BESIDES, I DON'T THINK YOU
REALLY HAVE AN ALTERNATIVE.

WELL, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE.
THERE... THERE IS ONE ALTERNATIVE.

[Woman Screams]

ALL RIGHT, BREAK IT UP,
YOU KIDS! COME ON. STOP IT!

[Continues, Indistinct]

KID!

[Engine Starts]
[Tires Squealing]

[Howie] COLT, THERE'S JODY.

COME ON, KID. STAGECOACH. A 25-MILE-AN-HOUR
STAGECOACH CAN'T KEEP UP WITH A CAR.

IT CAN IF HE'S HEADIN' FOR
AN AIRSTRIP ON A RANCH.

[Horse Whinnies]

HYAH!

[Tires Screeching]

[Horn Honking]

[Colt] THEY HUNG A RIGHT. THAT
ELIMINATES THE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT.

GIDDAP! GET! HYAH!

HYAH! HYAH!

GIDDAP! HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!

HEY! GET OUT OF THERE!

[Horn Honking] MOVE! COME ON!

[Horn Honking]

I KNEW DOING WESTERNS ALL THOSE
YEARS WOULD PAY OFF SOONER OR LATER.

TAKE THE LINES, KID.

[Tires Screeching]

HO!

ALL RIGHT, LANCE. OUT OF
THERE, NICE AND SLOW, HUH?

[Sighs] BOY, AM I
GLAD TO SEE YOU.

- YOU OKAY?
- I THINK SO. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIM.

- MEET TONY THE GROCER.
- WELL, TONY.

I GUESS IT'S ONE TIME YOU WISH YOU'D
STAYED HOME AND MINDED THE STORE.

HUH.

HO! HO!

I THINK THIS IS YOUR STOP, BOYS.

COME ON, SEAVERS. THERE'S NO
REASON TO DO THIS. LET'S MAKE A DEAL.

SURE. YOU GET WHAT'S
BEHIND DOOR NUMBER ONE: JAIL.

- VERY FUNNY.
- THEY SAY A SENSE OF HUMOR'S
A GOOD THING TO HAVE,

ESPECIALLY WHERE YOU'RE GOIN'.

TAKE 'EM AWAY, BOYS.

DON'T WORRY, DAD. THEY'LL NEVER DO
THIS TO YOU. I'LL GET YOU OUT OF THIS.

[Tony] WILL YOU SHUT UP! IF YOU WEREN'T
MY OWN SON, I'D HAVE YOU BUMPED OFF.

GIDDAP. GIDDAP!

[Exhales] THIS IS
THE LIFE, ISN'T IT?

MMM. DOESN'T IT FEEL
GREAT JUST TO RELAX AGAIN?

YEAH. MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL
GET A BIT OF A SUNTAN. I'M SO PALE.

[Big Jack] COLT, DON'T
YOU WANT A DRINK? NOPE.

- I DON'T WANNA
SPOIL MY APPETITE.
- WHOO! LOOK AT YOU.

- NICE TIE.
- IT'S YOURS.

HOW COME YOU NEVER WEAR A TIE
WHEN YOU GO OUT TO DINNER WITH US?

'CAUSE YOU NEVER OFFER TO PAY.

OH, IS CHARLIE TAKING YOU OUT?

YEP. THAT'S THE
MODERN WOMAN FOR YA.

SHE'S EVEN GONNA PICK HIM UP.

SHE'LL PROBABLY EVEN
BRING HIM FLOWERS.

[Knocking] ♪♪ [Vocalizing]

WHOOP.

I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA
HAVE TO BREAK OUR DATE.

DON'T LIKE MY TIE?
I LOVE YOUR TIE.

JUST THAT MY FOLKS
ASKED ME TO MAKE SURE HE

GETS HOME SAFE, AND SO
I'M FLYING BACK TONIGHT.

OH. MAYBE NEXT YEAR.

WELL, IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA WAIT A WHOLE
NOTHER YEAR TO SEE YOU, YOU'RE CRAZY.

YOU STILL LIVE IN THE HILLS?

YEAH, THE SAME PLACE.

WELL, DON'T BE
SURPRISED IF I DROP IN.

YEAH, I'LL BE... LOOKIN'
FOR YOUR PARACHUTE.

I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO THANK YOU FOR
WHAT YOU DID FOR ME AND FOR MY BROTHER.

AND I WANT YOU TO
KNOW I APPRECIATE IT.

SEE YOU SOON.

T-TELL YOUR BROTHER
GOOD-BYE FOR ME.

TELL HIM YOURSELF.
HE'S STANDIN' RIGHT OUT...

MEL?

HE'S GONE AGAIN.

THAT MEAN YOU'RE
FREE FOR DINNER?

[Laughs]