The Fall Guy (1981–1986): Season 1, Episode 11 - Goin' for It! - full transcript
♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE
KIND TO KISS AND TELL ♪
♪ BUT I'VE BEEN
SEEN WITH FARRAH ♪
♪ I'VE NEVER BEEN
WITH ANYTHING LESS ♪
♪ THAN A NINE SO FINE ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN ON FIRE
WITH SALLY FIELD ♪
♪ GONE FAST WITH
A GIRL NAMED BO ♪
♪ BUT SOMEHOW THEY
JUST DON'T END UP AS MINE ♪
♪ IT'S A DEATH-DEFYIN'
LIFE I LEAD ♪
♪ I TAKE MY CHANCES ♪
♪ I DIE FOR A LIVIN' IN
THE MOVIES AND TV ♪
[Siren Wailing]
♪ BUT THE HARDEST
THING I EVER DO ♪
♪ IS WATCH MY LEADING LADIES ♪
♪ KISS SOME OTHER GUY
WHILE I'M BANDAGIN' MY KNEE ♪
♪ I MIGHT FALL FROM
A TALL BUILDIN' ♪
♪ I MIGHT ROLL A BRAND-NEW CAR ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪
♪ THAT MADE
REDFORD SUCH A STAR ♪
♪♪ [Women Vocalizing]
♪ I'VE NEVER SPENT
MUCH TIME IN SCHOOL ♪
♪ BUT I'VE TAUGHT
LADIES PLENTY ♪
♪ IT'S TRUE I HIRE MY
BODY OUT FOR PAY ♪
♪ HEY, HEY ♪
♪ I'VE GOTTEN BURNED
OVER CHERYL TIEGS ♪
♪ BLOWN UP FOR RAQUEL WELCH ♪
♪ BUT WHEN I WIND UP IN
THE HAY, IT'S ONLY HAY ♪
♪ HEY, HEY ♪
♪ I MIGHT JUMP AN
OPEN DRAWBRIDGE ♪
♪ OR TARZAN FROM A VINE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪
♪ THAT MAKES EASTWOOD
LOOK SO FINE ♪♪
[Colt Narrating] THIS IS THE STORY OF
ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT UNSUNG HEROES.
I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN HIM, BUT
YOU NEVER KNEW WHO HE WAS.
YOU'VE CHEERED FOR
HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM,
WOMEN HAVE WANTED
TO DIE FOR HIM.
BUT DID HE EVER GET ANY
CREDIT? OR THE GIRL? NO.
HE WAS WHAT WE CALL A STUNTMAN.
AND THE REASON I'M TALKIN'
SO FONDLY ABOUT HIM IS...
WELL, BECAUSE IT'S
ME, COLT SEAVERS.
ANYWAY, PICTURE WORK ISN'T
WALL-TO-WALL EMPLOYMENT.
SO MAYBE YOU WONDER HOW A
GUY KEEPS HIS HEAD TOGETHER.
WELL, ONE WAY IS TO
WAIT BY THE PHONE...
AND WAIT... AND WAIT.
THE OTHER IS TO TAKE AN OCCASIONAL
JOB FOR THE COURT SYSTEM...
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
WHERE A MAN IS CONSIDERED
INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.
UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE...
GET OUT OF JAIL ON
WHAT WE CALL BAIL.
AND THEY RUN LIKE HELL.
THAT'S WHERE I COME IN. I SOMETIMES
PICK UP RENT MONEY TRYIN' TO FIND THEM...
AND BRING THEM BACK TO JUSTICE.
BUT SOMETIMES I HAVE TO WORK
REAL HARD TO EARN MY KEEP.
[Car Door Closes]
YOU BATES?
YOU SEAVERS?
HE'S IN THE YELLOW HOUSE.
[Colt] YOU SURE HE HASN'T GONE
OUT? WHY WOULD HE GO OUT?
WOMEN AND FOOD KEEP GOING
IN. HE HAS ALL HIS FOOD DELIVERED?
CHINESE FOOD,
FRIED CHICKEN, PIZZA.
PIZZA? PERFECT.
BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR KEEPING
AN EYE ON HIM TILL I COULD GET HERE.
NO PROBLEM. THE SANTA BARBARA POLICE
DEPARTMENT'S ALWAYS HAPPY TO COOPERATE.
YOU ALWAYS CARRY A PIZZA
IN THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK?
NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
GONNA NEED ON THIS JOB.
YOU'RE JUST GONNA GO RIGHT
ON UP AND SLAP THE CUFFS ON HIM?
OH, ARRESTING 'EM
IS THE EASY PART.
FINDING 'EM IS THE HARD PART.
- YOU MIND IF I WATCH?
- SUIT YOURSELF.
♪♪ [Rock On Stereo] [Laughter]
[Doorbell Ringing]
[Man] WHO IS IT?
PIZZA DELIVERY. JUST A SECOND.
I DIDN'T ORDER ANY PIZZA.
I TOLD 'EM YOU
DIDN'T LIKE ANCHOVIES.
[Woman] OH, MY... HEY!
[Women Chattering, Shouting]
[Chattering Continues]
EXCUSE ME.
PARDON ME.
WHAT KIND OF A PIZZA IS THAT?
ONE FOR SOMEBODY WITH A
CAST-IRON STOMACH. WHOA!
CURLY, THIS IS HURTIN'
ME MORE THAN YOU.
[Grunting, Growling]
THAT WAS A NICE PIECE
OF WORK. [Coughing]
LIKE I SAID, THE ARREST
WAS THE EASY PART.
HEY, THAT'S MY TRUCK!
YOU'RE HURTIN' MY TRUCK!
[Engine Starts]
HEY, WHERE YOU GOING? HEY!
HEY! HEY! HEY!
HEY! HEY! WAIT! [Grunting]
YOU GOT A CHOICE, CURLY. YOU CAN
RUN ALONGSIDE ALL THE WAY TO L.A.,
OR YOU CAN RIDE IN THE BACK.
HURT MY TRUCK!
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, LET'S
GET THE STUNT TEAM READY.
NOW, YOU ALWAYS WALK THE
ROAD BEFORE DOIN' A STUNT...
BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT THAT THE
DRIVER KNOW EVERY INCH OF THAT ROAD,
ESPECIALLY WHEN
DOIN' A GAG LIKE THIS.
HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE COLT. HE
SHOULD. WHO DO YOU THINK TAUGHT COLT?
LET'S DO IT. YEAH,
WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
ALL RIGHT, JUST ONE THING TO
REMEMBER, JODY: WATCH YOUR SPEED.
RIGHT. SIXTY-FIVE
RIGHT ON THE NOSE.
AND SUCH A CUTE NOSE AT THAT.
HOLD ON, GANG. WE'LL
RIDE BACK WITH YA.
OKAY. OKAY!
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, GET THE
CAMERA CAR IN POSITION, STEVE.
THANK YOU. [Man #2] ALL
RIGHT. THREE CAMERAS.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK, DOC? WILL IT FLY?
WELL, IF THE LADY
CAN DRIVE, IT'LL WORK.
THEN I DON'T HAVE A
THING TO WORRY ABOUT.
LUCK?
LUCK.
WELL, ONE TAKE,
AND IT'S HAPPY HOUR.
[Man On P.A.] BOTH
CAMERAS ARE READY.
OKAY, THERE YOU GO.
EXCUSE ME, DOC.
OKAY, BOYS, HERE WE GO.
READY? JUST SAY WHEN.
WELL, THEN LET'S GO FOR IT.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT,
CHOPPER. ACTION!
HOLD IT STEADY, JODY.
WHOO!
THE HOOK'S JAMMED!
I CAN'T MAKE THE HOOKUP!
TAKE ME DOWN! HOLD
ON! I'LL SET IT RIGHT DOWN!
I CAN'T MAKE THE HOOKUP! THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CLASP!
CAN'T HOLD ON ANY
LONGER! [Screams]
STEVE!
[Gasps]
STEVE!
THAT'LL HANDLE THAT.
♪♪ [Whistling]
JACK, I GOT HIM. OH, COLT.
I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU. WHAT'S THAT
MATTER? DIDN'T THINK I COULD HANDLE HIM?
NO, IT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.
COLT, I JUST GOT A
CALL FROM HOWIE.
YEAH? WHAT'S THE MATTER?
SOMETHING HAPPENED OUT ON LOCATION.
- DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO JODY?
- NOT JODY. IT'S STEVE KRUGER.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- HE FELL.
- FELL?
- BUT DON'T WORRY. HE'S STILL ALIVE.
[Woman On P.A.]
DR. MOSS, I.C.U. 5-6-7-4-4.
HE'S CRITICAL, BUT STABLE.
IT'S A GOOD THING
HE HIT THE WATER.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
GLORIA. COLT. WHAT
IF HE DOESN'T MAKE IT?
HEY! HE'S GONNA MAKE IT.
NO STUNT'S EVER GONNA GET STEVE.
OH, BUT THIS WAS AWFULLY CLOSE.
CLOSE IS WHAT
STUNTS ARE ALL ABOUT.
BOY, YOU TWO ARE
REALLY SOMETHING. HEY.
CAN I SEE HIM?
HE'S STILL IN A COMA.
HI, SWEETHEART.
UNCLE COLT, IS MY
DADDY GOING TO DIE?
ARE YOU KIDDING? DOES BURT
REYNOLDS EVER DIE IN ANY OF HIS MOVIES?
NO. WELL, NEITHER
DOES HIS STUNTMAN.
YOU HANG IN THERE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
HE COULDN'T MAKE THE
HOOKUP TO THE SAFETY CABLE.
WHY? HE'S DONE THAT STUNT
10 TIMES. WE BOTH HAVE.
- WAS CHUCK FLYING THE CHOPPER?
- YEAH. DOC BROWNER RIGGED THE CAR.
- WHO'S SPECIAL EFFECTS?
- AL DEMATO.
BUT STEVE RIGGED HIS OWN
HARNESS JUST LIKE YOU DO.
YOU TWO LOOK AFTER GLORIA AND WENDY.
I'M GONNA TRY AND FIND DOC BROWNER.
TRY THE MOTEL WHERE THE CREW'S STAYING. I
THINK YOU'LL FIND HIM DRINKING IN THE BAR.
- DOC? HE'S NOT A DRINKER.
- HE IS TONIGHT.
♪♪ [Country On Jukebox]
HEY, I WANT A DRINK. MISS,
ANOTHER ONE OVER HERE.
IT DOESN'T LOOK TO ME LIKE
YOU NEED ANOTHER ONE, DOC.
COLT. COLT SEAVERS! OH!
HEY, DOC, UH, I THINK YOU'D BETTER SIT
BACK DOWN, HUH? COME ON. SIT DOWN.
I-I GUESS MAYBE I BETTER.
HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU, SEAVERS.
OH, COLT, THIS IS PETE THOMAS. HE'S
FURNISHING THE STUNT CARS ON THIS PICTURE.
AND, UH, TAKIN' CARE OF THE WRECKS
WHEN YOU GUYS ARE THROUGH WITH 'EM.
- IT'S A REAL PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU.
- UH, PLEASED TO MEET YOU TOO.
LOOK, PETE, I HOPE YOU
DON'T TAKE THIS WRONG.
THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE IN THE
WORLD ALMOST GOT KILLED TODAY.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE A LONG, PRIVATE
TALK WITH DOC ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
YEAH, SURE.
LOOK, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'D
LIKE TO GET DOC BACK TO HIS ROOM.
PLEASURE MEETING
YOU. OKAY, YEAH.
WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN.
SEE YOU, DOC. YEAH.
COME ON. SEE YOU.
THANKS AGAIN.
DOC, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TO
YOURSELF? YOU DON'T DRINK.
OH, COLT, YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN
THERE. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT.
TOMORROW, I WANNA GO OVER EVERYTHING
THAT STEVE DID BEFORE THE STUNT, OKAY?
WE DID WHAT WE ALWAYS DID.
I TOOK CARE OF THE CAR, AND
STEVE RIGGED THE HARNESS.
ALL RIGHT, WHO RIGGED THE
SAFETY CABLE ON THE CHOPPER?
THE EFFECTS MAN, AL DEMATO,
DID. WHERE CAN I FIND HIM?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
SLEEP. WHERE'S YOUR ROOM?
[Camera Shutter Clicking]
RIGHT UP HERE, 105.
WE GOT A CAR GAG TO DO THE
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
STEVE'S SUPPOSED TO DRIVE.
YEAH, WELL, UH, ALL RIGHT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL DO IT.
ANY IDEA WHO HE IS?
[Man #2] WE SHOULD KNOW BY NOON.
[Phone Ringing]
YEAH? [Man] HE'S STILL ALIVE.
WHAT? HOW COULD HE BE?
HE'S IN A COMA. HE FELL
INTO A CATTLE POND.
[Chuckles] WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
BY THE TIME HE RECOVERS,
WE'RE GONNA BE LONG GONE.
I'M AFRAID WE GOT
ANOTHER PROBLEM.
GOOD. WHAT NOW?
ANOTHER STUNTMAN.
A FRIEND OF KRUGER'S.
COLT SEAVERS. THINK
HE COULD BE TROUBLE?
NO MORE THAN THE OTHER ONE.
[Howie] COLT, WE'RE GETTING
CLOSE. [Colt] YEAH, KID.
COLT, I WANNA THANK YOU
FOR TAKING OVER FOR STEVE.
HEY, LOOK, HE WOULD'VE
DONE IT FOR ME.
BESIDES, I WANNA
KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
WELL, I'M AS UPSET ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED TO STEVE AS ANYBODY,
BUT I'VE STILL GOT
A PICTURE TO MAKE.
HEY, I'M WITH YOU
ALL THE WAY. IN FACT,
MAYBE WE CAN MAKE THIS PICTURE
A SORT OF TRIBUTE TO STEVE.
WELL, YOU BE CAREFUL. I
DON'T WANT THIS PICTURE...
TO END UP A MEMORIAL TO COLT
SEAVERS. HEY, DON'T WORRY.
WELL, WE GOT ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.
NOW, THIS IS GONNA BE A NICE,
EASY LITTLE JUMP OVER A FLATBED.
I KNOW. JUST PUNCH IT AND HANG
ON AND LET THE RAMP DO THE WORK.
YOU GOT IT. WELL,
YOU ABOUT READY?
YOU WAITING ON ME,
YOU'RE BACKING UP.
COLT, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LET ME TRY
ONE OF THESE? WELL, WHY NOT RIGHT NOW?
- YOU MEAN I GET TO DRIVE?
- NO.
BUT THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE TWO
PEOPLE IN THE TRUCK. GET YOUR HELMET.
WELL, THAT BEATS WATCHING.
[Man On P.A.] CREW'S
ALMOST READY.
[Engine Revving]
SOUNDS GOOD,
DOC. YEAH, IT'S FINE.
OH, SAY, COLT.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT...
FORGET IT. IT HAPPENS.
THANKS. YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.
STUNT SEQUENCE COMING UP. HOLD
ALL TRAFFIC ON THE ROADS, PLEASE.
ROLL CAMERAS. BACKGROUND ACTION.
ACTION!
ALL RIGHT, KID. TAKE A
TIGHT HOLD AND A DEEP SEAT.
THAT RAMP COMES UP PRETTY QUICK.
[Man On P.A.] COME AHEAD, BUDDY.
SPEED'S GOOD. HERE
COMES OUR DIESEL.
HEY, LADY, STOP!
[Tires Screeching]
- [Man] SHE'S RIGHT IN THEIR PATH!
- [Horn Honking]
- [Howie] LOOK OUT, COLT!
- WHAT THE...
[Man On P.A.] CUT! CUT!
COLT, YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH. OKAY.
GET HER OFF MY SET!
GET OUT ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. HUH?
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT,
FOLKS, BACK TO WORK. LET'S GO.
- COLT SEAVERS.
- TELL ME THAT WASN'T HER.
THAT LADY INSURANCE
INVESTIGATOR... KAY FAULKNER.
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING, LADY?
YOU COULD'VE GOT SOMEBODY KILLED!
YEAH, LIKE US! DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT
GUY HOLDING TRAFFIC UP BACK THERE?
SO THAT'S WHAT
HE WAS DOING? YES!
NOW STOP IT WITH THAT
QUIRKY LITTLE CHARM OF YOURS.
NOW, YOU ALMOST TURNED
THIS INTO A DISASTER FILM.
FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, IT ALREADY HAS
BEEN, SEAVERS. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
STEVE KRUGER'S ACCIDENT.
MY INSURANCE COMPANY SENT ME OUT
HERE TO INVESTIGATE WHAT HAPPENED.
AND ONE WORD FROM ME, AND THIS
POLICY'S CANCELED. NO INSURANCE, NO MOVIE.
ARE YOU GONNA SHUT US DOWN?
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM, SEAVERS.
IF I FIND OUT THAT SAFETY
PROCEDURES HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWED,
IF I FIND OUT THAT NEGLIGENCE
CAUSED THIS ACCIDENT,
IF I FIND OUT, AS
I SUSPECT I WILL,
THAT THIS MOVIE HAS
BEEN ONE BIG LONG PARTY...
HEY, WHOA, WHOA! SLOW DOWN.
DON'T TELL ME TO "WHOA, WHOA." YOU'RE
NOT ROY ROGERS AND I'M NOT TRIGGER.
YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT OF
A JOB. EVERYBODY KNOWS
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A
MOVIE GOES ON LOCATION.
WHAT HAPPENS, COLT?
YEAH, WHAT DOES HAPPEN?
YOU KNOW... THE CAROUSING AROUND ALL NIGHT,
THE GETTING STONED, THE MUSICAL BEDS.
M... MUSICAL... HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN ON A LOCATION LIKE THAT, COLT?
SHUT UP. HOW COULD ANYBODY WORK THE
HOURS WE DO AND FOOL AROUND ALL NIGHT?
NO ONE CAN. THAT'S
WHY YOU HAVE ACCIDENTS.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME, I HAVE WORK TO DO.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, NEW SETUP.
LET'S GET THE TRUCK ON ITS WHEELS.
THAT WOMAN NEEDS TO BE
TURNED OVER A KNEE AND SPANKED.
PROBABLY JUST WHAT
SHE WANTS. WHAT?
SHE'S A CLASSIC CASE OF A WOMAN
WHO WANTS HER FATHER'S ATTENTION.
PSYCHOANALYTICALLY SPEAKING,
YOU KNOW, SHE'S A FASCINATING CASE.
I STUDIED THIS IN SOME DETAIL
AT THE FREUD INSTITUTE IN VIENNA.
HOWARD!
UM...
WHAT IS IT, COLT?
SKID MARKS FROM A ROLL BAR
VERY SUDDENLY TURNED GOLD.
GOLD PAINT UNDER BLACK.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
EXPENSIVE-LOOKING PRIMER.
WELL, LET'S GET JODY
AND GET SOME LUNCH.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT,
CREW IN THE TRUCK, LET'S GO.
MUNSON WAS HERE WHEN
THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED.
IT FIGURES THAT
HE CALLED SEAVERS.
A STUNTMAN AND A BOUNTY HUNTER.
HE MUST HAVE POLICE CONTACTS.
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
NO, NO, NOT YET. WE'LL
WAIT TILL HE'S ALONE.
WHAT ARE WE LOOKIN' FOR,
COLT? I WISH THE HELL I KNEW.
HEY, DOC. HEY, COLT. HOWIE.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN' HERE? I WAS LOOKIN'
FOR THAT TRUCK I FLIPPED THIS MORNING.
WELL, YOU JUST MISSED
IT. WHERE'D IT GO?
BIG WRECKING YARD UP IN THE SKY.
NO, PETE THOMAS TOOK IT. YOU
MET HIM LAST NIGHT IN THE BAR.
OH, YEAH.
DOES HE BUY ALL THE CARS THAT
GET JUNKED ON THIS PICTURE?
NO, ACTUALLY, THEY'RE
HIS TO BEGIN WITH.
HE'S GOT A USED CAR
LOT UP IN PHOENIX.
AFTER WE WRECK 'EM, HE
SELLS 'EM FOR SCRAP IN MEXICO.
- WHERE'S HIS YARD?
- OH, DOWN THE INTERSTATE.
CLOSE TO THE CITY LIMITS.
HOW COME YOU GUYS ARE SO
INTERESTED IN THAT OLD WRECK?
WELL, I MET THIS
GIRL ON THE SET.
SHE GAVE ME HER TELEPHONE
NUMBER. IT WAS IN MY JACKET.
IT MUST'VE FELL OUT WHEN WE
WERE UPSIDE DOWN THIS MORNING.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED
ABOUT? ANOTHER ONE'LL COME ALONG.
UH, ANOTHER ONE ALREADY DID.
I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT TIME
TO TELL THE FIRST ONE TO SHOW UP.
TWO GIRLS, COLT? TWO?
HOWIE, DIDN'T YOU KNOW?
STUNTMEN NEVER SLEEP... ALONE.
YEAH. COME ON.
[Horn Honks]
AFTERNOON, COLT.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
HI, PETE.
FLIPPED A TRUCK THIS MORNIN'.
DOC SAYS YOU TOOK IT AWAY.
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE
LEFT SOMETHIN' IN IT.
[Chuckles] WELL, YOU'RE
JUST A LITTLE BIT TOO LATE.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOO LATE?
- SORRY.
- CAN'T YOU STOP IT?
- YEAH, CAN'T YOU STOP IT?
IT'LL JUST TAKE A
SECOND TO LOOK INSIDE.
LIKE I SAID, YOU'RE JUST
A LITTLE BIT TOO LATE.
OH, NO.
ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO
FOR YOU? NO, NOT TODAY.
WELL, COME BACK
AND SEE US ANYTIME.
OH, NO.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T, COLT
SEAVERS! I WANNA TALK TO YOU!
NOT NOW. WE GOTTA GET
BACK TO THE SET. GREAT.
EVERY TIME I WANNA TALK
TO YOU, YOU'RE ALWAYS BUSY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT
HERE? HOW DID YOU FIND US?
DOC TOLD ME. GOOD DETECTIVE.
SEAVERS, I TOLD YOU THAT I MEANT
BUSINESS WHEN I CAME DOWN HERE,
AND YOU'RE NOT BEING THE LEAST
BIT COOPERATIVE. THAT'S NOT TRUE.
LOOK, I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME
TO GO CHASING AFTER YOU.
BESIDES, YOU NEVER THOUGHT
MUCH OF MY HUNCHES ANYWAY.
WHAT HUNCHES? WHY ARE YOU
INTERESTED IN THAT CAR YOU FLIPPED?
I DIDN'T FLIP A CAR. YOU DID. IT WAS A
TRUCK. AND I WOULDN'T PARK THERE.
I WILL PARK ANYPLACE
I DARN WELL PLEASE.
I AM HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS.
NOW STOP AVOIDING THE POINT,
AND PLEASE TELL ME, WHY ARE
YOU INTERESTED IN THAT TRUCK?
- KAY, YOU REALLY OUGHTA
MOVE YOUR CAR.
- DON'T DOUBLE-TEAM ME.
WOULD YOU PLEASE... YES, DON'T DOUBLE-TEAM
HER, KID. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOIN'.
SEAVERS, I WANT AN ANSWER!
YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING SENT
TO INVESTIGATE A MOVIE ACCIDENT.
YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE BUSINESS.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
[Kay] OKAY.
- OKAY, MR. KNOW-IT-ALL. I'M
GONNA FIND OUT WHY YOU'RE HERE.
- [Horn Honks]
IF IT TURNS OUT THAT YOU'RE
WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE,
I'LL HAVE THAT DIRECTOR
SEND YOU PACKING.
- YOU WOULDN'T.
- WITH PLEASURE.
YOU KNOW, I DO BELIEVE
YOU HAVE A MEAN STREAK.
[Chuckling]
WHY IS IT THIS MAN...
OH, NO! OH... OH, NO!
WAIT! THAT WAS MY CAR!
[Stammering]
I'M GONNA KILL HIM!
THIS PLACE IS TURNING INTO A REGULAR
CIRCUS AROUND HERE, I GOTTA TELL YA.
WAS THAT SEAVERS? YEP.
- AND HE'S GETTIN' TOO CLOSE.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS GUY'S GOTTA GO.
HE'S IN A DANGEROUS
LINE OF BUSINESS.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, CHECK
THE CAMERAS. TWO MINUTES TO GO.
COLT, ARE YOU SURE THIS
IS THE WAY YOU STARTED?
DON'T WORRY. IT'S JUST LIKE WALKING
OUT OF YOUR OWN FRONT DOOR.
YEAH, WHICH IS ON FIRE.
YOU'LL NEVER NOTICE THE FIRE.
THAT'S FOR SURE, BECAUSE
MY EYES ARE GONNA BE CLOSED.
AW, COME ON, HOWIE.
YOU CAN DO IT. JUST THINK.
YOU'LL BE A REAL STUNTMAN.
YOU CAN EVEN GET YOUR OWN FALL
GUY JACKET. YEAH, MY MIND IS CONVINCED.
IT'S MY LEGS THAT HAVE THE
PROBLEM. YOU GUYS ABOUT READY?
I GUESS SO. JUST RELAX, KID.
I'LL BE IN THERE WITH YOU.
WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER TO PUT
ME OUT IF THERE ARE ANY PROBLEMS?
NO, WITH A LIGHTER TO
MAKE SURE YOU STAY LIT.
THAT HOUSE IS AS DRY AS ONE OF THOSE
COW SKULLS YOU FIND OUT IN THE PASTURE.
- YOU KNOW THAT?
- DOES HE HAVE TO TALK
ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE DEAD?
[Man] WHEN THAT THING
GOES, IT'S GONNA GO BIG.
DON'T FORGET, COLT,
YOU GOT 10 SECONDS...
TO GET OUT THE BACK DOOR
AFTER THEY YELL "ACTION."
SO BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF
THAT HOUSE AS FAST AS YOU CAN...
AND GET AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN.
DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, STUNTMAN,
LET'S GO GET 'EM. COME ON.
READY? YOU SURE
YOU WANNA BE INSIDE?
I USUALLY DO THAT. I THINK HE'D FEEL
BETTER IF HE KNEW I WAS IN THERE WITH HIM.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, GOOD LUCK. COLT
SEAVERS, YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
LOOK, NOT NOW. WE'RE
TRYING TO DO A STUNT.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY
FROM ME THIS TIME. SUIT YOURSELF.
MY RENTED CAR WAS DESTROYED.
YEAH, WELL, I HOPE IT WAS
INSURED. OH, VERY FUNNY.
LISTEN, SEAVERS, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
TAKING THIS INVESTIGATION VERY SERIOUSLY,
BUT I KNOW THAT YOU
ARE JUST AS INTERESTED IN
FINDING OUT WHAT
HAPPENED TO STEVE AS I AM.
AT LEAST IF YOU'VE GOT A BRAIN
IN YOUR HEAD, YOU SHOULD BE.
I DO, AND I AM. YOU GOT A LIGHT?
LISTEN, I WANNA KNOW WHAT
TOOK YOU OUT TO THAT JUNKYARD.
[Man] COLT, WE'LL FIRE THE
PLACE WHEN THEY SAY, "ROLL 'EM."
IT'LL TAKE ABOUT 15 SECONDS TO
GET THE FIRE GOING REAL GOOD.
FINE, FINE.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A THEORY
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE.
OKAY, YOU GUYS BETTER HIT IT.
YOU TOO, LADY. HIT IT WHERE?
BEHIND THE FIRE
LINES. WHAT FIRE LINES?
THE FIRE LINES WE SET UP TO
KEEP ANYBODY FROM GETTING HURT...
WHEN I SET FIRE TO HOWIE AND
WE BLOW THIS HOUSE SKY-HIGH.
[Chuckling] YOU'RE GONNA...
YOU'RE GONNA SET FIRE TO
HOWIE AND BLOW THIS HOUSE SKY...
[Man On P.A.] OKAY, FOLKS, 30
SECONDS AND COUNTING DOWN.
TWENTY-NINE. TWENTY-EIGHT.
YOU GOING?
YOU'RE INSANE.
TWENTY-TWO. TWENTY-ONE.
FIFTEEN SECONDS TO GO.
OKAY, TURN AROUND.
- ROLL CAMERAS.
- OKAY, LIGHT IT UP.
OKAY, COLT, THE CAMERAS ARE
ROLLING. COME OUT THE BACK.
ACTION!
[Man On P.A.] COLT SHOULD BE
OUT THE BACK DOOR BY NOW.
I'M BLOWIN' IT!
CUT. ALL RIGHT. PUT
HIM OUT. LET'S GO.
HOW'D I DO, COLT? WHERE'S COLT?
HE DIDN'T COME OUT!
MEDIC! GET SOME
OXYGEN OVER HERE!
MEDIC! [Man On
P.A.] GET A MEDIC!
GET SOME OXYGEN OVER THERE!
YOU ALL RIGHT? JUST RELAX.
[Woman On P.A.] DR. FREDERICKS,
TWO EAST. 5-6-7-7-2.
OH, COLT! OH, THANK GOD.
WE'VE ALL BEEN SO WORRIED.
WELL, I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED MYSELF
THERE FOR A WHILE. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
I MEAN, YOU PEOPLE
KNOW YOUR JOBS.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
ALL THESE ACCIDENTS.
I DON'T THINK THEY
ARE ACCIDENTS.
A STATEMENT LIKE THAT
NEEDS A LITTLE EXPLAINING.
WELL, I HAVE A THEORY.
WHAT IF SOMEBODY HAD A
GRUDGE AGAINST STUNTMEN?
- SAY THEY WERE
JEALOUS OR SOMETHING.
- JEALOUS OVER WHAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW MOVIE PEOPLE ARE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT LOCATION ROMANCES.
WELL, THE ONLY PERSON
STEVE SLEEPS WITH IS ME.
AND I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO GET
FRIENDLY, LET ALONE GET IN TROUBLE.
ALL RIGHT. IT WAS A THEORY.
I THINK IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN
A THEORY TO STOP THESE ACCIDENTS.
NO, THESE ACCIDENTS ARE GOING
TO STOP, YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT.
WELL, JUST HOW CAN
WE COUNT ON THAT?
BECAUSE I'M READY TO SHUT THIS
PRODUCTION DOWN, PENDING MY INVESTIGATION.
- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- OH, YES, I CAN.
ALL THESE PEOPLE'LL DRIFT APART.
WE'LL NEVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED.
AT LEAST THE
ACCIDENTS WILL STOP.
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THEY WEREN'T ACCIDENTS.
- OH! GOOD.
FINALLY, YOU'RE STARTING TO THINK THAT
MY THEORIES HAVE SOME MERIT. THANK YOU.
- I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.
- YOU CAN GO AS FAR AS
LOS ANGELES FOR ALL I CARE.
YOU'RE OUT OF WORK.
YEAH, WELL, WAIT.
YOU GOT IT. I AM SHUTTING
THIS CATASTROPHE DOWN NOW.
LOOK, LOOK. OKAY, I'M
SORRY. I ADMIT IT, I WAS WRONG.
I, UH... WE, UH...
ALL OF US SHOULD BE LISTENING TO
A LADY OF YOUR VAST EXPERIENCE.
YOU'RE SO FULL OF BULL.
OH, NO, NO, KAY. HE MEANS IT.
IN FACT, HE WAS TELLING ME JUST BEFORE
YOU GOT HERE THAT YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE...
OF FINDING OUT WHO'S
BEHIND THIS SADISTIC
NIGHTMARE THAT COULD COST
YOUR COMPANY A FORTUNE.
AND NOT JUST ON THIS PICTURE,
BUT ON MANY MORE TO COME...
UNLESS WE GIVE YOU THE TIME TO
FIND OUT WHO'S AT THE BOTTOM OF IT.
- MY EXACT WORDS.
- OKAY.
NOW THAT YOU PUT IT
THAT WAY, I SEE YOUR POINT.
BUT ONE MORE ACCIDENT, EVEN A
LITTLE ONE, I'M PULLING THE PLUG.
GOOD WORK.
[Colt] HEY, DOC.
YOU GOT A MINUTE? SURE.
YOU GOT STEVE'S HARNESS, HUH?
YEAH, I WAS CHECKING IT OUT. I-I
CAN'T FIND ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEN
YOU'RE GONNA GO THROUGH WITH IT?
I GAVE MY WORD.
WELL, I CAN'T FIND
ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.
[Sighs] WHAT DO YOU
THINK HAPPENED TO HIM?
I'VE ASKED MYSELF THAT 100 TIMES.
ONLY ONE MAN KNOWS FOR SURE.
WELL, IT'S FOR SURE
HE CAN'T TELL US.
AFTER THE ACCIDENT, WHO
TOOK THIS HARNESS OFF STEVE?
- PARAMEDICS, I GUESS.
- THEY GAVE IT TO HIS WIFE
AT THE HOSPITAL?
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
YOU KNOW, I WAS
JUST WONDERIN', DOC.
THIS LADY DETECTIVE'S
GOT THIS DUMB THEORY...
THAT SOMEBODY JUST MIGHT
BE JEALOUS OF STUNTMEN.
I MEAN, THOSE ACCIDENTS, WELL,
THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY ACCIDENTS.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I'D SAY THAT
SHE'S GOT ONE HELL OF AN IMAGINATION.
YEAH, WELL, I THOUGHT SO TOO.
UH, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A FUNNY THING.
WHEN I WENT TO THE WRECKING YARD
TO GET THAT GIRL'S TELEPHONE NUMBER,
THAT FELLOW THOMAS ALREADY
HAD THAT TRUCK IN THE CRUSHER.
UH-OH.
OH, SAY. HOW'D EVERYTHING
GO WITH THOSE, UH, TWO GIRLS?
OH, UH, WELL, WHAT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE A DOUBLEHEADER...
TURNED INTO A ROUND-ROBIN.
SEE YA ON THE SET.
YEAH, MOBILE OPERATOR.
I NEED 555-6503, PLEASE.
THANK YOU. HELLO.
- HOWIE. UH, GOOD.
- HI, COLT. WHAT'S UP?
FIRST OF ALL, I WANT
YOU TO FIND GLORIA.
ASK HER WHO RETURNED STEVE'S
HARNESS TO HER AFTER THE ACCIDENT.
OKAY. SECOND OF ALL, I
WANT SOMEONE TO MEET ME.
NOW? CAN'T IT WAIT TILL LUNCH
BREAK? WE'RE ABOUT TO DO THE STUNT.
I'M AFRAID NOT. IS KAY STILL
HANGING AROUND ON THE SET?
YEAH, I SAW HER LOOKING
THROUGH THE CAMERA.
NEXT, SHE'LL BE
WANTIN' TO DIRECT.
- TELL HER TO MEET ME
AT THE MOTEL IN 10 MINUTES.
- SHE'S GONNA WANNA KNOW WHY.
JUST TELL HER I WANT TO
GET INTO HER THEORIES.
SHE'LL BE THERE
BEFORE YOU ARE. BYE.
YOU REALLY HAVE YOUR NERVE.
FIRST, YOU DESTROY MY CAR.
THEN YOU TRY AND BLOW ME UP.
AND THEN YOU START SENDING OBSCENE
INVITATIONS THROUGH INTERMEDIARIES.
WHAT'S SO OBSCENE ABOUT ME WANTING
TO RUN BAREFOOT THROUGH YOUR BRAIN?
- YOU HAVE SUCH A WAY
WITH WORDS, SEAVERS.
- WELL, WHAT'S YOUR NEW THEORY?
- I MEAN,
WE MAY NOT HAVE MUCH TIME.
- LOOK. ILLEGAL ALIENS.
- ALIENS?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE NEAR THE BORDER, AND THESE
FILM CREWS USE LOTS OF BIG TRUCKS.
IT COULD BE TRUCKS,
ALL RIGHT. BUT THE ONE I'M
INTERESTED IN IS TOO
SMALL TO BE HAULING PEOPLE.
- DRUGS.
- DRUGS?
OF COURSE. I SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED
HOW YOU HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE ARE.
- WELL, JUST HOW THE HELL ARE WE?
- ABOUT DRUGS!
- LADY, I'M GONNA DECK YOU.
- WOULDN'T YOU JUST LOVE THAT?
- I'VE GOT IT.
- SOMETIMES I THINK YOU HAVE
THE I.Q. OF A HANDBALL.
WHAT'S THAT? THAT'S WHAT
I WANT YOU TO FIND OUT.
WHERE'D YOU GET THIS? SCRAPED IT
OFF THE GROUND AFTER THE CAR GAG.
- SO, IT'S PAINT.
- WELL, WE'LL LET THE POLICE LAB
TELL US THAT, HUH?
THEY'LL BE WAITIN'
FOR YOU. THIS IS NUTS!
IF IT IS, WHY HAVE THE TWO GUYS IN THE
YELLOW STATION WAGON BEEN FOLLOWING ME?
- OR WERE THEY AFTER
YOUR BODY TOO?
- [Forced Chuckle] TOO?
ARE YOU SURE THEY'RE
FOLLOWING YOU?
GIVE ME A BREAK, LADY.
I'VE BEEN TAILED IN MY LIFE.
OKAY. OKAY, COLT.
ALL IS FORGIVEN.
YOU MUST BE ONTO SOMETHING. TELL ME WHERE
TO REACH YOU WHEN I FIND OUT THE RESULTS.
PROBABLY ON THE SET.
I'LL GIVE YOU THE NUMBER.
OKAY. JUST DO ONE
THING, AND BE CAREFUL.
BE CAREFUL. ME, BE
CAREFUL. YOU'RE BEING TAILED.
YEAH, BUT NOT FOR LONG. BYE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK? I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK WE OUGHTA FIND
OUT WHAT HE GAVE THE GIRL.
[Gasps] I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
I LOST MY WALLET IN A MARKET A
COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, AND, UH...
WE'RE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR
MONEY. WE JUST WANT YOUR COMPANY.
THERE WASN'T ANY
MONEY IN IT ANYWAY.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS. NOW LET'S
SLIDE OUT OF THERE NICE AND EASY.
THIS SIDE. COME ON.
TAKE IT EASY! WE'RE COPS.
YEAH, AND I'M MAGIC
JOHNSON. COME ON.
HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH. WE WANT
YOUR HELP. WE'RE FROM THE PHOENIX P.D.
OH, THEN YOU KNOW
THE ROUTINE. SPREAD 'EM.
LET'S GO.
SON OF A GUN. YOU
ARE A COP. I TOLD YA.
WHAT'S TWO COPS FROM PHOENIX
FOLLOWING ME AROUND SAN TOMAS?
IF WE COULD STAND UP, I'LL BE
HAPPY TO TELL YOU. YEAH, SURE.
WE'RE HERE BECAUSE WE HAVE
REASON TO BELIEVE THAT, UH,
THESE TWO MEN ARE IN THE AREA.
- YEAH, SO?
- THEY PULLED A SIX MILLION
DOLLAR GOLD HEIST IN PHOENIX.
- I DIDN'T READ ANYTHING
LIKE THAT IN THE PAPERS.
- IT WASN'T IN THE PAPERS.
IT WAS A GOVERNMENT BULLION TRANSFER,
AND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TOP SECRET.
WE HAVE POSITIVE
I.D.'s ON THOSE TWO.
WE ALSO BELIEVE PETE THOMAS
IS FENCING THE GOLD FOR THEM.
HE'S DONE THIS KIND OF THING
BEFORE. WE'VE BEEN WATCHING HIM.
BUT THE ONLY BUSINESS HE'S BEEN DOING
THESE DAYS IS THE CARS HE'S SOLD TO THE...
TO THIS MOVIE.
WAIT A MINUTE. YOU
THINK THOMAS IS SOMEHOW
USING THIS MOVIE COMPANY
TO FENCE THE GOLD?
WE WERE HOPING YOU COULD
SORT OF BE OUR MAN ON THE INSIDE.
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HE WASN'T FENCING THE
GOLD, HE'S TAKING IT OUT OF THE COUNTRY?
- I'D SAY, "HOW?"
- IN THE CARS THAT
WE'RE USING FOR THE STUNTS.
- BUT YOU'RE WRECKING 'EM.
- YEAH, BUT HE'S SELLING 'EM
IN MEXICO FOR SCRAP.
- ARE YOU SURE?
- I SOON WILL BE.
YES, MOBILE OPERATOR,
COULD YOU CONNECT ME
WITH THE SAN TOMAS
POLICE DEPARTMENT, PLEASE.
YES, CRIME LAB, PLEASE.
HELLO, UH, THIS IS COLT SEAVERS.
COULD I SPEAK TO THE YOUNG LADY THAT I
SENT OVER TO HAVE A SAMPLE ANALYZED?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT THERE?
SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE BY NOW.
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
HEY, WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- TO THE WRECKING YARD.
- COME ON.
STOP! STOP! WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU CAN'T... PLEASE
DON'T DO THIS TO ME!
[Whimpering]
WAIT A MINUTE! YOU CAN'T
DO THIS! YOU CAN'T... OW!
OH, MY...
OH, MY GOD! [Gasps]
SEAVERS!
[Whimpering]
[Panting]
HEY!
OW!
OH! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
WELL, I'M GETTING
OLDER, YOU KNOW. OH.
OOH!
OH, MY HEAVENS. WHO'S THAT?
THAT'S THE CAVALRY.
HEY, THAT'S REED.
GREAT WORK, SEAVERS.
YEAH, WELL, THE OTHER
ONE'S OVER THERE. GET HIM.
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?
- I GOT A STUNT TO DO.
HEY, WAIT! SEAVERS! WAIT FOR ME!
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, CHOPPER'S
HERE. EVERYBODY'S READY.
LET'S GET THE CAMERA
TRUCK IN POSITION.
READY TO GO IN THREE MINUTES.
YOU OKAY, COLT? YEAH, NOTHIN'
TO IT. DID YOU TALK TO GLORIA?
YEAH. SHE DIDN'T GET THE
HARNESS BACK AT THE HOSPITAL.
DOC BROWNER GAVE
IT TO HER THE NEXT DAY.
- THAT'S WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF.
- DOC WAS IN ON IT.
YEAH. HE ALMOST
GOT STEVE KILLED.
- WHERE IS DOC?
- WELL, HE SHOULD BE HERE.
- WELL, DON'T COUNT ON IT.
- COLT, YOU READY TO DO THIS?
YOU BET.
LOOK, YOU FIND DOC. I'LL TAKE
CARE OF HIM AFTER THE STUNT.
- [Man On P.A.] POSITIONS, PLEASE.
- LISTEN. BE CAREFUL, OKAY?
LET'S GO. HOWIE, FIND DOC
AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
[Man On P.A.] CHOPPER'S
READY! CAR'S READY!
ALL CAMERAS READY!
POSITIONS, PLEASE!
POSITIONS!
READY TO ROLL!
ROLL 'EM!
ALL RIGHT. HOLD HER STEADY.
THAT'S DOC BROWNER
IN THAT CAR. FOLLOW HIM!
OKAY! HANG ON! HERE WE GO!
LOWER!
A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT.
[Woman On P.A.] DR. SAUNDERS,
ONE SOUTH. 5-2-1-5-5.
WELL, I JUST CAME FROM THE
EMERGENCY ROOM. DOC'S GONNA BE OKAY.
THAT'S A RELIEF.
WHEN THEY SMUGGLED THE
GOLD OUT OF THE COUNTRY,
HOW COME IT DIDN'T GET MIXED
UP WITH ALL THE OTHER METALS?
WELL, THAT'S SIMPLE. I TOOK A YEAR OF
METALLURGY AT COLORADO SCHOOL OF THE MINES.
YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU HAD.
YOU SEE, WHEN THE SCRAP METAL GETS TO
MEXICO, THEY MELT DOWN THE WHOLE THING.
GOLD HAS A VERY LOW MELTING
POINT, BUT IT'S ALSO VERY HEAVY.
SO AS THE TEMPERATURE
RISES, THE GOLD FLOWS OFF FIRST.
I NEVER REALIZED IT BEFORE, HOWIE,
BUT YOU ARE A VERY INTELLIGENT MAN.
DON'T ENCOURAGE
HIM. OH, I'M SORRY.
HEY, STEVE. LOOKIN' GOOD.
I GUESS YOU KNOW EVERYTHING
THAT HAPPENED, HUH?
YEAH.
LITTLE HARD TO BELIEVE DOC
WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
EVEN IF HE DID FIND OUT
I WAS ONTO HIS SCAM.
YEAH. SURPRISED ME TOO. I
COULDN'T BELIEVE IT TILL THE VERY END.
WELL, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING
YOU DID. I WON'T FORGET IT.
HEY, WHEN YOU GET OUTTA HERE, WE
GOTTA GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING TOGETHER.
YOU GOT A DEAL, PARD.
HOME, JAMES.
THANKS, COLT. GOOD-BYE, GLORIA.
[Woman On P.A.] DR. ASHLEY,
EIGHT EAST. 5-9-7-1-7.
THERE REALLY IS A STRONG BOND
BETWEEN STUNTMEN, ISN'T THERE?
WELL, THERE'S A STRONG BOND
BETWEEN ME AND ANYBODY I CARE ABOUT.
COLT, I'D LIKE TO HAVE A
WORD WITH YOU... ALONE.
SURE. HEY, UH, NICE JACKET, KID.
- YEAH!
- [Chuckles]
I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SOME OF THE
STUPID THINGS THAT I HAVE SAID IN THE PAST.
- I GUESS I LIKE TO PRETEND
THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING.
- THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DO.
WAIT A MINUTE. DON'T GET SMART ON
ME WHEN I AM TRYING TO BE HUMBLE.
- ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME.
- YOU KNOW, SEAVERS,
THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME SO MAD.
YOU SEE, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
YOU NEVER EVEN GIVE A GIRL AN INCH.
I DON'T LIKE TO DO MY
FIGHTING IN HOSPITALS.
CAN'T WE DO THIS OVER,
UH, TACOS AND A COLD BEER?
I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THOUGHT I'D NEVER ASK?
YOU'RE SO LIBERATED,
WHY DIDN'T ASK ME?
WHAT, STEP ON THAT
FRAGILE MALE EGO OF YOURS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MALE EGO?
YOU HEARD ME. THIS MALE EGO.
IT'S SO FRAGILE. I DON'T
HAVE A MALE EGO. COME ON.
KIND TO KISS AND TELL ♪
♪ BUT I'VE BEEN
SEEN WITH FARRAH ♪
♪ I'VE NEVER BEEN
WITH ANYTHING LESS ♪
♪ THAN A NINE SO FINE ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN ON FIRE
WITH SALLY FIELD ♪
♪ GONE FAST WITH
A GIRL NAMED BO ♪
♪ BUT SOMEHOW THEY
JUST DON'T END UP AS MINE ♪
♪ IT'S A DEATH-DEFYIN'
LIFE I LEAD ♪
♪ I TAKE MY CHANCES ♪
♪ I DIE FOR A LIVIN' IN
THE MOVIES AND TV ♪
[Siren Wailing]
♪ BUT THE HARDEST
THING I EVER DO ♪
♪ IS WATCH MY LEADING LADIES ♪
♪ KISS SOME OTHER GUY
WHILE I'M BANDAGIN' MY KNEE ♪
♪ I MIGHT FALL FROM
A TALL BUILDIN' ♪
♪ I MIGHT ROLL A BRAND-NEW CAR ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪
♪ THAT MADE
REDFORD SUCH A STAR ♪
♪♪ [Women Vocalizing]
♪ I'VE NEVER SPENT
MUCH TIME IN SCHOOL ♪
♪ BUT I'VE TAUGHT
LADIES PLENTY ♪
♪ IT'S TRUE I HIRE MY
BODY OUT FOR PAY ♪
♪ HEY, HEY ♪
♪ I'VE GOTTEN BURNED
OVER CHERYL TIEGS ♪
♪ BLOWN UP FOR RAQUEL WELCH ♪
♪ BUT WHEN I WIND UP IN
THE HAY, IT'S ONLY HAY ♪
♪ HEY, HEY ♪
♪ I MIGHT JUMP AN
OPEN DRAWBRIDGE ♪
♪ OR TARZAN FROM A VINE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪
♪ THAT MAKES EASTWOOD
LOOK SO FINE ♪♪
[Colt Narrating] THIS IS THE STORY OF
ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT UNSUNG HEROES.
I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN HIM, BUT
YOU NEVER KNEW WHO HE WAS.
YOU'VE CHEERED FOR
HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM,
WOMEN HAVE WANTED
TO DIE FOR HIM.
BUT DID HE EVER GET ANY
CREDIT? OR THE GIRL? NO.
HE WAS WHAT WE CALL A STUNTMAN.
AND THE REASON I'M TALKIN'
SO FONDLY ABOUT HIM IS...
WELL, BECAUSE IT'S
ME, COLT SEAVERS.
ANYWAY, PICTURE WORK ISN'T
WALL-TO-WALL EMPLOYMENT.
SO MAYBE YOU WONDER HOW A
GUY KEEPS HIS HEAD TOGETHER.
WELL, ONE WAY IS TO
WAIT BY THE PHONE...
AND WAIT... AND WAIT.
THE OTHER IS TO TAKE AN OCCASIONAL
JOB FOR THE COURT SYSTEM...
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
WHERE A MAN IS CONSIDERED
INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.
UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE...
GET OUT OF JAIL ON
WHAT WE CALL BAIL.
AND THEY RUN LIKE HELL.
THAT'S WHERE I COME IN. I SOMETIMES
PICK UP RENT MONEY TRYIN' TO FIND THEM...
AND BRING THEM BACK TO JUSTICE.
BUT SOMETIMES I HAVE TO WORK
REAL HARD TO EARN MY KEEP.
[Car Door Closes]
YOU BATES?
YOU SEAVERS?
HE'S IN THE YELLOW HOUSE.
[Colt] YOU SURE HE HASN'T GONE
OUT? WHY WOULD HE GO OUT?
WOMEN AND FOOD KEEP GOING
IN. HE HAS ALL HIS FOOD DELIVERED?
CHINESE FOOD,
FRIED CHICKEN, PIZZA.
PIZZA? PERFECT.
BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR KEEPING
AN EYE ON HIM TILL I COULD GET HERE.
NO PROBLEM. THE SANTA BARBARA POLICE
DEPARTMENT'S ALWAYS HAPPY TO COOPERATE.
YOU ALWAYS CARRY A PIZZA
IN THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK?
NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
GONNA NEED ON THIS JOB.
YOU'RE JUST GONNA GO RIGHT
ON UP AND SLAP THE CUFFS ON HIM?
OH, ARRESTING 'EM
IS THE EASY PART.
FINDING 'EM IS THE HARD PART.
- YOU MIND IF I WATCH?
- SUIT YOURSELF.
♪♪ [Rock On Stereo] [Laughter]
[Doorbell Ringing]
[Man] WHO IS IT?
PIZZA DELIVERY. JUST A SECOND.
I DIDN'T ORDER ANY PIZZA.
I TOLD 'EM YOU
DIDN'T LIKE ANCHOVIES.
[Woman] OH, MY... HEY!
[Women Chattering, Shouting]
[Chattering Continues]
EXCUSE ME.
PARDON ME.
WHAT KIND OF A PIZZA IS THAT?
ONE FOR SOMEBODY WITH A
CAST-IRON STOMACH. WHOA!
CURLY, THIS IS HURTIN'
ME MORE THAN YOU.
[Grunting, Growling]
THAT WAS A NICE PIECE
OF WORK. [Coughing]
LIKE I SAID, THE ARREST
WAS THE EASY PART.
HEY, THAT'S MY TRUCK!
YOU'RE HURTIN' MY TRUCK!
[Engine Starts]
HEY, WHERE YOU GOING? HEY!
HEY! HEY! HEY!
HEY! HEY! WAIT! [Grunting]
YOU GOT A CHOICE, CURLY. YOU CAN
RUN ALONGSIDE ALL THE WAY TO L.A.,
OR YOU CAN RIDE IN THE BACK.
HURT MY TRUCK!
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, LET'S
GET THE STUNT TEAM READY.
NOW, YOU ALWAYS WALK THE
ROAD BEFORE DOIN' A STUNT...
BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT THAT THE
DRIVER KNOW EVERY INCH OF THAT ROAD,
ESPECIALLY WHEN
DOIN' A GAG LIKE THIS.
HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE COLT. HE
SHOULD. WHO DO YOU THINK TAUGHT COLT?
LET'S DO IT. YEAH,
WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
ALL RIGHT, JUST ONE THING TO
REMEMBER, JODY: WATCH YOUR SPEED.
RIGHT. SIXTY-FIVE
RIGHT ON THE NOSE.
AND SUCH A CUTE NOSE AT THAT.
HOLD ON, GANG. WE'LL
RIDE BACK WITH YA.
OKAY. OKAY!
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, GET THE
CAMERA CAR IN POSITION, STEVE.
THANK YOU. [Man #2] ALL
RIGHT. THREE CAMERAS.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK, DOC? WILL IT FLY?
WELL, IF THE LADY
CAN DRIVE, IT'LL WORK.
THEN I DON'T HAVE A
THING TO WORRY ABOUT.
LUCK?
LUCK.
WELL, ONE TAKE,
AND IT'S HAPPY HOUR.
[Man On P.A.] BOTH
CAMERAS ARE READY.
OKAY, THERE YOU GO.
EXCUSE ME, DOC.
OKAY, BOYS, HERE WE GO.
READY? JUST SAY WHEN.
WELL, THEN LET'S GO FOR IT.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT,
CHOPPER. ACTION!
HOLD IT STEADY, JODY.
WHOO!
THE HOOK'S JAMMED!
I CAN'T MAKE THE HOOKUP!
TAKE ME DOWN! HOLD
ON! I'LL SET IT RIGHT DOWN!
I CAN'T MAKE THE HOOKUP! THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CLASP!
CAN'T HOLD ON ANY
LONGER! [Screams]
STEVE!
[Gasps]
STEVE!
THAT'LL HANDLE THAT.
♪♪ [Whistling]
JACK, I GOT HIM. OH, COLT.
I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU. WHAT'S THAT
MATTER? DIDN'T THINK I COULD HANDLE HIM?
NO, IT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.
COLT, I JUST GOT A
CALL FROM HOWIE.
YEAH? WHAT'S THE MATTER?
SOMETHING HAPPENED OUT ON LOCATION.
- DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO JODY?
- NOT JODY. IT'S STEVE KRUGER.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- HE FELL.
- FELL?
- BUT DON'T WORRY. HE'S STILL ALIVE.
[Woman On P.A.]
DR. MOSS, I.C.U. 5-6-7-4-4.
HE'S CRITICAL, BUT STABLE.
IT'S A GOOD THING
HE HIT THE WATER.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
GLORIA. COLT. WHAT
IF HE DOESN'T MAKE IT?
HEY! HE'S GONNA MAKE IT.
NO STUNT'S EVER GONNA GET STEVE.
OH, BUT THIS WAS AWFULLY CLOSE.
CLOSE IS WHAT
STUNTS ARE ALL ABOUT.
BOY, YOU TWO ARE
REALLY SOMETHING. HEY.
CAN I SEE HIM?
HE'S STILL IN A COMA.
HI, SWEETHEART.
UNCLE COLT, IS MY
DADDY GOING TO DIE?
ARE YOU KIDDING? DOES BURT
REYNOLDS EVER DIE IN ANY OF HIS MOVIES?
NO. WELL, NEITHER
DOES HIS STUNTMAN.
YOU HANG IN THERE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
HE COULDN'T MAKE THE
HOOKUP TO THE SAFETY CABLE.
WHY? HE'S DONE THAT STUNT
10 TIMES. WE BOTH HAVE.
- WAS CHUCK FLYING THE CHOPPER?
- YEAH. DOC BROWNER RIGGED THE CAR.
- WHO'S SPECIAL EFFECTS?
- AL DEMATO.
BUT STEVE RIGGED HIS OWN
HARNESS JUST LIKE YOU DO.
YOU TWO LOOK AFTER GLORIA AND WENDY.
I'M GONNA TRY AND FIND DOC BROWNER.
TRY THE MOTEL WHERE THE CREW'S STAYING. I
THINK YOU'LL FIND HIM DRINKING IN THE BAR.
- DOC? HE'S NOT A DRINKER.
- HE IS TONIGHT.
♪♪ [Country On Jukebox]
HEY, I WANT A DRINK. MISS,
ANOTHER ONE OVER HERE.
IT DOESN'T LOOK TO ME LIKE
YOU NEED ANOTHER ONE, DOC.
COLT. COLT SEAVERS! OH!
HEY, DOC, UH, I THINK YOU'D BETTER SIT
BACK DOWN, HUH? COME ON. SIT DOWN.
I-I GUESS MAYBE I BETTER.
HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU, SEAVERS.
OH, COLT, THIS IS PETE THOMAS. HE'S
FURNISHING THE STUNT CARS ON THIS PICTURE.
AND, UH, TAKIN' CARE OF THE WRECKS
WHEN YOU GUYS ARE THROUGH WITH 'EM.
- IT'S A REAL PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU.
- UH, PLEASED TO MEET YOU TOO.
LOOK, PETE, I HOPE YOU
DON'T TAKE THIS WRONG.
THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE IN THE
WORLD ALMOST GOT KILLED TODAY.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE A LONG, PRIVATE
TALK WITH DOC ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
YEAH, SURE.
LOOK, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'D
LIKE TO GET DOC BACK TO HIS ROOM.
PLEASURE MEETING
YOU. OKAY, YEAH.
WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN.
SEE YOU, DOC. YEAH.
COME ON. SEE YOU.
THANKS AGAIN.
DOC, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TO
YOURSELF? YOU DON'T DRINK.
OH, COLT, YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN
THERE. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT.
TOMORROW, I WANNA GO OVER EVERYTHING
THAT STEVE DID BEFORE THE STUNT, OKAY?
WE DID WHAT WE ALWAYS DID.
I TOOK CARE OF THE CAR, AND
STEVE RIGGED THE HARNESS.
ALL RIGHT, WHO RIGGED THE
SAFETY CABLE ON THE CHOPPER?
THE EFFECTS MAN, AL DEMATO,
DID. WHERE CAN I FIND HIM?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
SLEEP. WHERE'S YOUR ROOM?
[Camera Shutter Clicking]
RIGHT UP HERE, 105.
WE GOT A CAR GAG TO DO THE
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
STEVE'S SUPPOSED TO DRIVE.
YEAH, WELL, UH, ALL RIGHT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL DO IT.
ANY IDEA WHO HE IS?
[Man #2] WE SHOULD KNOW BY NOON.
[Phone Ringing]
YEAH? [Man] HE'S STILL ALIVE.
WHAT? HOW COULD HE BE?
HE'S IN A COMA. HE FELL
INTO A CATTLE POND.
[Chuckles] WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
BY THE TIME HE RECOVERS,
WE'RE GONNA BE LONG GONE.
I'M AFRAID WE GOT
ANOTHER PROBLEM.
GOOD. WHAT NOW?
ANOTHER STUNTMAN.
A FRIEND OF KRUGER'S.
COLT SEAVERS. THINK
HE COULD BE TROUBLE?
NO MORE THAN THE OTHER ONE.
[Howie] COLT, WE'RE GETTING
CLOSE. [Colt] YEAH, KID.
COLT, I WANNA THANK YOU
FOR TAKING OVER FOR STEVE.
HEY, LOOK, HE WOULD'VE
DONE IT FOR ME.
BESIDES, I WANNA
KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
WELL, I'M AS UPSET ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED TO STEVE AS ANYBODY,
BUT I'VE STILL GOT
A PICTURE TO MAKE.
HEY, I'M WITH YOU
ALL THE WAY. IN FACT,
MAYBE WE CAN MAKE THIS PICTURE
A SORT OF TRIBUTE TO STEVE.
WELL, YOU BE CAREFUL. I
DON'T WANT THIS PICTURE...
TO END UP A MEMORIAL TO COLT
SEAVERS. HEY, DON'T WORRY.
WELL, WE GOT ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.
NOW, THIS IS GONNA BE A NICE,
EASY LITTLE JUMP OVER A FLATBED.
I KNOW. JUST PUNCH IT AND HANG
ON AND LET THE RAMP DO THE WORK.
YOU GOT IT. WELL,
YOU ABOUT READY?
YOU WAITING ON ME,
YOU'RE BACKING UP.
COLT, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LET ME TRY
ONE OF THESE? WELL, WHY NOT RIGHT NOW?
- YOU MEAN I GET TO DRIVE?
- NO.
BUT THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE TWO
PEOPLE IN THE TRUCK. GET YOUR HELMET.
WELL, THAT BEATS WATCHING.
[Man On P.A.] CREW'S
ALMOST READY.
[Engine Revving]
SOUNDS GOOD,
DOC. YEAH, IT'S FINE.
OH, SAY, COLT.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT...
FORGET IT. IT HAPPENS.
THANKS. YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.
STUNT SEQUENCE COMING UP. HOLD
ALL TRAFFIC ON THE ROADS, PLEASE.
ROLL CAMERAS. BACKGROUND ACTION.
ACTION!
ALL RIGHT, KID. TAKE A
TIGHT HOLD AND A DEEP SEAT.
THAT RAMP COMES UP PRETTY QUICK.
[Man On P.A.] COME AHEAD, BUDDY.
SPEED'S GOOD. HERE
COMES OUR DIESEL.
HEY, LADY, STOP!
[Tires Screeching]
- [Man] SHE'S RIGHT IN THEIR PATH!
- [Horn Honking]
- [Howie] LOOK OUT, COLT!
- WHAT THE...
[Man On P.A.] CUT! CUT!
COLT, YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH. OKAY.
GET HER OFF MY SET!
GET OUT ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. HUH?
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT,
FOLKS, BACK TO WORK. LET'S GO.
- COLT SEAVERS.
- TELL ME THAT WASN'T HER.
THAT LADY INSURANCE
INVESTIGATOR... KAY FAULKNER.
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING, LADY?
YOU COULD'VE GOT SOMEBODY KILLED!
YEAH, LIKE US! DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT
GUY HOLDING TRAFFIC UP BACK THERE?
SO THAT'S WHAT
HE WAS DOING? YES!
NOW STOP IT WITH THAT
QUIRKY LITTLE CHARM OF YOURS.
NOW, YOU ALMOST TURNED
THIS INTO A DISASTER FILM.
FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, IT ALREADY HAS
BEEN, SEAVERS. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
STEVE KRUGER'S ACCIDENT.
MY INSURANCE COMPANY SENT ME OUT
HERE TO INVESTIGATE WHAT HAPPENED.
AND ONE WORD FROM ME, AND THIS
POLICY'S CANCELED. NO INSURANCE, NO MOVIE.
ARE YOU GONNA SHUT US DOWN?
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM, SEAVERS.
IF I FIND OUT THAT SAFETY
PROCEDURES HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWED,
IF I FIND OUT THAT NEGLIGENCE
CAUSED THIS ACCIDENT,
IF I FIND OUT, AS
I SUSPECT I WILL,
THAT THIS MOVIE HAS
BEEN ONE BIG LONG PARTY...
HEY, WHOA, WHOA! SLOW DOWN.
DON'T TELL ME TO "WHOA, WHOA." YOU'RE
NOT ROY ROGERS AND I'M NOT TRIGGER.
YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT OF
A JOB. EVERYBODY KNOWS
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A
MOVIE GOES ON LOCATION.
WHAT HAPPENS, COLT?
YEAH, WHAT DOES HAPPEN?
YOU KNOW... THE CAROUSING AROUND ALL NIGHT,
THE GETTING STONED, THE MUSICAL BEDS.
M... MUSICAL... HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN ON A LOCATION LIKE THAT, COLT?
SHUT UP. HOW COULD ANYBODY WORK THE
HOURS WE DO AND FOOL AROUND ALL NIGHT?
NO ONE CAN. THAT'S
WHY YOU HAVE ACCIDENTS.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME, I HAVE WORK TO DO.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, NEW SETUP.
LET'S GET THE TRUCK ON ITS WHEELS.
THAT WOMAN NEEDS TO BE
TURNED OVER A KNEE AND SPANKED.
PROBABLY JUST WHAT
SHE WANTS. WHAT?
SHE'S A CLASSIC CASE OF A WOMAN
WHO WANTS HER FATHER'S ATTENTION.
PSYCHOANALYTICALLY SPEAKING,
YOU KNOW, SHE'S A FASCINATING CASE.
I STUDIED THIS IN SOME DETAIL
AT THE FREUD INSTITUTE IN VIENNA.
HOWARD!
UM...
WHAT IS IT, COLT?
SKID MARKS FROM A ROLL BAR
VERY SUDDENLY TURNED GOLD.
GOLD PAINT UNDER BLACK.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
EXPENSIVE-LOOKING PRIMER.
WELL, LET'S GET JODY
AND GET SOME LUNCH.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT,
CREW IN THE TRUCK, LET'S GO.
MUNSON WAS HERE WHEN
THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED.
IT FIGURES THAT
HE CALLED SEAVERS.
A STUNTMAN AND A BOUNTY HUNTER.
HE MUST HAVE POLICE CONTACTS.
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
NO, NO, NOT YET. WE'LL
WAIT TILL HE'S ALONE.
WHAT ARE WE LOOKIN' FOR,
COLT? I WISH THE HELL I KNEW.
HEY, DOC. HEY, COLT. HOWIE.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN' HERE? I WAS LOOKIN'
FOR THAT TRUCK I FLIPPED THIS MORNING.
WELL, YOU JUST MISSED
IT. WHERE'D IT GO?
BIG WRECKING YARD UP IN THE SKY.
NO, PETE THOMAS TOOK IT. YOU
MET HIM LAST NIGHT IN THE BAR.
OH, YEAH.
DOES HE BUY ALL THE CARS THAT
GET JUNKED ON THIS PICTURE?
NO, ACTUALLY, THEY'RE
HIS TO BEGIN WITH.
HE'S GOT A USED CAR
LOT UP IN PHOENIX.
AFTER WE WRECK 'EM, HE
SELLS 'EM FOR SCRAP IN MEXICO.
- WHERE'S HIS YARD?
- OH, DOWN THE INTERSTATE.
CLOSE TO THE CITY LIMITS.
HOW COME YOU GUYS ARE SO
INTERESTED IN THAT OLD WRECK?
WELL, I MET THIS
GIRL ON THE SET.
SHE GAVE ME HER TELEPHONE
NUMBER. IT WAS IN MY JACKET.
IT MUST'VE FELL OUT WHEN WE
WERE UPSIDE DOWN THIS MORNING.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED
ABOUT? ANOTHER ONE'LL COME ALONG.
UH, ANOTHER ONE ALREADY DID.
I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT TIME
TO TELL THE FIRST ONE TO SHOW UP.
TWO GIRLS, COLT? TWO?
HOWIE, DIDN'T YOU KNOW?
STUNTMEN NEVER SLEEP... ALONE.
YEAH. COME ON.
[Horn Honks]
AFTERNOON, COLT.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
HI, PETE.
FLIPPED A TRUCK THIS MORNIN'.
DOC SAYS YOU TOOK IT AWAY.
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE
LEFT SOMETHIN' IN IT.
[Chuckles] WELL, YOU'RE
JUST A LITTLE BIT TOO LATE.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOO LATE?
- SORRY.
- CAN'T YOU STOP IT?
- YEAH, CAN'T YOU STOP IT?
IT'LL JUST TAKE A
SECOND TO LOOK INSIDE.
LIKE I SAID, YOU'RE JUST
A LITTLE BIT TOO LATE.
OH, NO.
ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO
FOR YOU? NO, NOT TODAY.
WELL, COME BACK
AND SEE US ANYTIME.
OH, NO.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T, COLT
SEAVERS! I WANNA TALK TO YOU!
NOT NOW. WE GOTTA GET
BACK TO THE SET. GREAT.
EVERY TIME I WANNA TALK
TO YOU, YOU'RE ALWAYS BUSY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT
HERE? HOW DID YOU FIND US?
DOC TOLD ME. GOOD DETECTIVE.
SEAVERS, I TOLD YOU THAT I MEANT
BUSINESS WHEN I CAME DOWN HERE,
AND YOU'RE NOT BEING THE LEAST
BIT COOPERATIVE. THAT'S NOT TRUE.
LOOK, I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME
TO GO CHASING AFTER YOU.
BESIDES, YOU NEVER THOUGHT
MUCH OF MY HUNCHES ANYWAY.
WHAT HUNCHES? WHY ARE YOU
INTERESTED IN THAT CAR YOU FLIPPED?
I DIDN'T FLIP A CAR. YOU DID. IT WAS A
TRUCK. AND I WOULDN'T PARK THERE.
I WILL PARK ANYPLACE
I DARN WELL PLEASE.
I AM HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS.
NOW STOP AVOIDING THE POINT,
AND PLEASE TELL ME, WHY ARE
YOU INTERESTED IN THAT TRUCK?
- KAY, YOU REALLY OUGHTA
MOVE YOUR CAR.
- DON'T DOUBLE-TEAM ME.
WOULD YOU PLEASE... YES, DON'T DOUBLE-TEAM
HER, KID. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOIN'.
SEAVERS, I WANT AN ANSWER!
YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING SENT
TO INVESTIGATE A MOVIE ACCIDENT.
YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE BUSINESS.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
[Kay] OKAY.
- OKAY, MR. KNOW-IT-ALL. I'M
GONNA FIND OUT WHY YOU'RE HERE.
- [Horn Honks]
IF IT TURNS OUT THAT YOU'RE
WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE,
I'LL HAVE THAT DIRECTOR
SEND YOU PACKING.
- YOU WOULDN'T.
- WITH PLEASURE.
YOU KNOW, I DO BELIEVE
YOU HAVE A MEAN STREAK.
[Chuckling]
WHY IS IT THIS MAN...
OH, NO! OH... OH, NO!
WAIT! THAT WAS MY CAR!
[Stammering]
I'M GONNA KILL HIM!
THIS PLACE IS TURNING INTO A REGULAR
CIRCUS AROUND HERE, I GOTTA TELL YA.
WAS THAT SEAVERS? YEP.
- AND HE'S GETTIN' TOO CLOSE.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS GUY'S GOTTA GO.
HE'S IN A DANGEROUS
LINE OF BUSINESS.
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, CHECK
THE CAMERAS. TWO MINUTES TO GO.
COLT, ARE YOU SURE THIS
IS THE WAY YOU STARTED?
DON'T WORRY. IT'S JUST LIKE WALKING
OUT OF YOUR OWN FRONT DOOR.
YEAH, WHICH IS ON FIRE.
YOU'LL NEVER NOTICE THE FIRE.
THAT'S FOR SURE, BECAUSE
MY EYES ARE GONNA BE CLOSED.
AW, COME ON, HOWIE.
YOU CAN DO IT. JUST THINK.
YOU'LL BE A REAL STUNTMAN.
YOU CAN EVEN GET YOUR OWN FALL
GUY JACKET. YEAH, MY MIND IS CONVINCED.
IT'S MY LEGS THAT HAVE THE
PROBLEM. YOU GUYS ABOUT READY?
I GUESS SO. JUST RELAX, KID.
I'LL BE IN THERE WITH YOU.
WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER TO PUT
ME OUT IF THERE ARE ANY PROBLEMS?
NO, WITH A LIGHTER TO
MAKE SURE YOU STAY LIT.
THAT HOUSE IS AS DRY AS ONE OF THOSE
COW SKULLS YOU FIND OUT IN THE PASTURE.
- YOU KNOW THAT?
- DOES HE HAVE TO TALK
ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE DEAD?
[Man] WHEN THAT THING
GOES, IT'S GONNA GO BIG.
DON'T FORGET, COLT,
YOU GOT 10 SECONDS...
TO GET OUT THE BACK DOOR
AFTER THEY YELL "ACTION."
SO BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF
THAT HOUSE AS FAST AS YOU CAN...
AND GET AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN.
DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, STUNTMAN,
LET'S GO GET 'EM. COME ON.
READY? YOU SURE
YOU WANNA BE INSIDE?
I USUALLY DO THAT. I THINK HE'D FEEL
BETTER IF HE KNEW I WAS IN THERE WITH HIM.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, GOOD LUCK. COLT
SEAVERS, YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
LOOK, NOT NOW. WE'RE
TRYING TO DO A STUNT.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY
FROM ME THIS TIME. SUIT YOURSELF.
MY RENTED CAR WAS DESTROYED.
YEAH, WELL, I HOPE IT WAS
INSURED. OH, VERY FUNNY.
LISTEN, SEAVERS, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
TAKING THIS INVESTIGATION VERY SERIOUSLY,
BUT I KNOW THAT YOU
ARE JUST AS INTERESTED IN
FINDING OUT WHAT
HAPPENED TO STEVE AS I AM.
AT LEAST IF YOU'VE GOT A BRAIN
IN YOUR HEAD, YOU SHOULD BE.
I DO, AND I AM. YOU GOT A LIGHT?
LISTEN, I WANNA KNOW WHAT
TOOK YOU OUT TO THAT JUNKYARD.
[Man] COLT, WE'LL FIRE THE
PLACE WHEN THEY SAY, "ROLL 'EM."
IT'LL TAKE ABOUT 15 SECONDS TO
GET THE FIRE GOING REAL GOOD.
FINE, FINE.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A THEORY
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE.
OKAY, YOU GUYS BETTER HIT IT.
YOU TOO, LADY. HIT IT WHERE?
BEHIND THE FIRE
LINES. WHAT FIRE LINES?
THE FIRE LINES WE SET UP TO
KEEP ANYBODY FROM GETTING HURT...
WHEN I SET FIRE TO HOWIE AND
WE BLOW THIS HOUSE SKY-HIGH.
[Chuckling] YOU'RE GONNA...
YOU'RE GONNA SET FIRE TO
HOWIE AND BLOW THIS HOUSE SKY...
[Man On P.A.] OKAY, FOLKS, 30
SECONDS AND COUNTING DOWN.
TWENTY-NINE. TWENTY-EIGHT.
YOU GOING?
YOU'RE INSANE.
TWENTY-TWO. TWENTY-ONE.
FIFTEEN SECONDS TO GO.
OKAY, TURN AROUND.
- ROLL CAMERAS.
- OKAY, LIGHT IT UP.
OKAY, COLT, THE CAMERAS ARE
ROLLING. COME OUT THE BACK.
ACTION!
[Man On P.A.] COLT SHOULD BE
OUT THE BACK DOOR BY NOW.
I'M BLOWIN' IT!
CUT. ALL RIGHT. PUT
HIM OUT. LET'S GO.
HOW'D I DO, COLT? WHERE'S COLT?
HE DIDN'T COME OUT!
MEDIC! GET SOME
OXYGEN OVER HERE!
MEDIC! [Man On
P.A.] GET A MEDIC!
GET SOME OXYGEN OVER THERE!
YOU ALL RIGHT? JUST RELAX.
[Woman On P.A.] DR. FREDERICKS,
TWO EAST. 5-6-7-7-2.
OH, COLT! OH, THANK GOD.
WE'VE ALL BEEN SO WORRIED.
WELL, I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED MYSELF
THERE FOR A WHILE. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
I MEAN, YOU PEOPLE
KNOW YOUR JOBS.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
ALL THESE ACCIDENTS.
I DON'T THINK THEY
ARE ACCIDENTS.
A STATEMENT LIKE THAT
NEEDS A LITTLE EXPLAINING.
WELL, I HAVE A THEORY.
WHAT IF SOMEBODY HAD A
GRUDGE AGAINST STUNTMEN?
- SAY THEY WERE
JEALOUS OR SOMETHING.
- JEALOUS OVER WHAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW MOVIE PEOPLE ARE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT LOCATION ROMANCES.
WELL, THE ONLY PERSON
STEVE SLEEPS WITH IS ME.
AND I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO GET
FRIENDLY, LET ALONE GET IN TROUBLE.
ALL RIGHT. IT WAS A THEORY.
I THINK IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN
A THEORY TO STOP THESE ACCIDENTS.
NO, THESE ACCIDENTS ARE GOING
TO STOP, YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT.
WELL, JUST HOW CAN
WE COUNT ON THAT?
BECAUSE I'M READY TO SHUT THIS
PRODUCTION DOWN, PENDING MY INVESTIGATION.
- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- OH, YES, I CAN.
ALL THESE PEOPLE'LL DRIFT APART.
WE'LL NEVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED.
AT LEAST THE
ACCIDENTS WILL STOP.
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THEY WEREN'T ACCIDENTS.
- OH! GOOD.
FINALLY, YOU'RE STARTING TO THINK THAT
MY THEORIES HAVE SOME MERIT. THANK YOU.
- I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.
- YOU CAN GO AS FAR AS
LOS ANGELES FOR ALL I CARE.
YOU'RE OUT OF WORK.
YEAH, WELL, WAIT.
YOU GOT IT. I AM SHUTTING
THIS CATASTROPHE DOWN NOW.
LOOK, LOOK. OKAY, I'M
SORRY. I ADMIT IT, I WAS WRONG.
I, UH... WE, UH...
ALL OF US SHOULD BE LISTENING TO
A LADY OF YOUR VAST EXPERIENCE.
YOU'RE SO FULL OF BULL.
OH, NO, NO, KAY. HE MEANS IT.
IN FACT, HE WAS TELLING ME JUST BEFORE
YOU GOT HERE THAT YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE...
OF FINDING OUT WHO'S
BEHIND THIS SADISTIC
NIGHTMARE THAT COULD COST
YOUR COMPANY A FORTUNE.
AND NOT JUST ON THIS PICTURE,
BUT ON MANY MORE TO COME...
UNLESS WE GIVE YOU THE TIME TO
FIND OUT WHO'S AT THE BOTTOM OF IT.
- MY EXACT WORDS.
- OKAY.
NOW THAT YOU PUT IT
THAT WAY, I SEE YOUR POINT.
BUT ONE MORE ACCIDENT, EVEN A
LITTLE ONE, I'M PULLING THE PLUG.
GOOD WORK.
[Colt] HEY, DOC.
YOU GOT A MINUTE? SURE.
YOU GOT STEVE'S HARNESS, HUH?
YEAH, I WAS CHECKING IT OUT. I-I
CAN'T FIND ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEN
YOU'RE GONNA GO THROUGH WITH IT?
I GAVE MY WORD.
WELL, I CAN'T FIND
ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.
[Sighs] WHAT DO YOU
THINK HAPPENED TO HIM?
I'VE ASKED MYSELF THAT 100 TIMES.
ONLY ONE MAN KNOWS FOR SURE.
WELL, IT'S FOR SURE
HE CAN'T TELL US.
AFTER THE ACCIDENT, WHO
TOOK THIS HARNESS OFF STEVE?
- PARAMEDICS, I GUESS.
- THEY GAVE IT TO HIS WIFE
AT THE HOSPITAL?
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
YOU KNOW, I WAS
JUST WONDERIN', DOC.
THIS LADY DETECTIVE'S
GOT THIS DUMB THEORY...
THAT SOMEBODY JUST MIGHT
BE JEALOUS OF STUNTMEN.
I MEAN, THOSE ACCIDENTS, WELL,
THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY ACCIDENTS.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I'D SAY THAT
SHE'S GOT ONE HELL OF AN IMAGINATION.
YEAH, WELL, I THOUGHT SO TOO.
UH, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A FUNNY THING.
WHEN I WENT TO THE WRECKING YARD
TO GET THAT GIRL'S TELEPHONE NUMBER,
THAT FELLOW THOMAS ALREADY
HAD THAT TRUCK IN THE CRUSHER.
UH-OH.
OH, SAY. HOW'D EVERYTHING
GO WITH THOSE, UH, TWO GIRLS?
OH, UH, WELL, WHAT WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE A DOUBLEHEADER...
TURNED INTO A ROUND-ROBIN.
SEE YA ON THE SET.
YEAH, MOBILE OPERATOR.
I NEED 555-6503, PLEASE.
THANK YOU. HELLO.
- HOWIE. UH, GOOD.
- HI, COLT. WHAT'S UP?
FIRST OF ALL, I WANT
YOU TO FIND GLORIA.
ASK HER WHO RETURNED STEVE'S
HARNESS TO HER AFTER THE ACCIDENT.
OKAY. SECOND OF ALL, I
WANT SOMEONE TO MEET ME.
NOW? CAN'T IT WAIT TILL LUNCH
BREAK? WE'RE ABOUT TO DO THE STUNT.
I'M AFRAID NOT. IS KAY STILL
HANGING AROUND ON THE SET?
YEAH, I SAW HER LOOKING
THROUGH THE CAMERA.
NEXT, SHE'LL BE
WANTIN' TO DIRECT.
- TELL HER TO MEET ME
AT THE MOTEL IN 10 MINUTES.
- SHE'S GONNA WANNA KNOW WHY.
JUST TELL HER I WANT TO
GET INTO HER THEORIES.
SHE'LL BE THERE
BEFORE YOU ARE. BYE.
YOU REALLY HAVE YOUR NERVE.
FIRST, YOU DESTROY MY CAR.
THEN YOU TRY AND BLOW ME UP.
AND THEN YOU START SENDING OBSCENE
INVITATIONS THROUGH INTERMEDIARIES.
WHAT'S SO OBSCENE ABOUT ME WANTING
TO RUN BAREFOOT THROUGH YOUR BRAIN?
- YOU HAVE SUCH A WAY
WITH WORDS, SEAVERS.
- WELL, WHAT'S YOUR NEW THEORY?
- I MEAN,
WE MAY NOT HAVE MUCH TIME.
- LOOK. ILLEGAL ALIENS.
- ALIENS?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE NEAR THE BORDER, AND THESE
FILM CREWS USE LOTS OF BIG TRUCKS.
IT COULD BE TRUCKS,
ALL RIGHT. BUT THE ONE I'M
INTERESTED IN IS TOO
SMALL TO BE HAULING PEOPLE.
- DRUGS.
- DRUGS?
OF COURSE. I SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED
HOW YOU HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE ARE.
- WELL, JUST HOW THE HELL ARE WE?
- ABOUT DRUGS!
- LADY, I'M GONNA DECK YOU.
- WOULDN'T YOU JUST LOVE THAT?
- I'VE GOT IT.
- SOMETIMES I THINK YOU HAVE
THE I.Q. OF A HANDBALL.
WHAT'S THAT? THAT'S WHAT
I WANT YOU TO FIND OUT.
WHERE'D YOU GET THIS? SCRAPED IT
OFF THE GROUND AFTER THE CAR GAG.
- SO, IT'S PAINT.
- WELL, WE'LL LET THE POLICE LAB
TELL US THAT, HUH?
THEY'LL BE WAITIN'
FOR YOU. THIS IS NUTS!
IF IT IS, WHY HAVE THE TWO GUYS IN THE
YELLOW STATION WAGON BEEN FOLLOWING ME?
- OR WERE THEY AFTER
YOUR BODY TOO?
- [Forced Chuckle] TOO?
ARE YOU SURE THEY'RE
FOLLOWING YOU?
GIVE ME A BREAK, LADY.
I'VE BEEN TAILED IN MY LIFE.
OKAY. OKAY, COLT.
ALL IS FORGIVEN.
YOU MUST BE ONTO SOMETHING. TELL ME WHERE
TO REACH YOU WHEN I FIND OUT THE RESULTS.
PROBABLY ON THE SET.
I'LL GIVE YOU THE NUMBER.
OKAY. JUST DO ONE
THING, AND BE CAREFUL.
BE CAREFUL. ME, BE
CAREFUL. YOU'RE BEING TAILED.
YEAH, BUT NOT FOR LONG. BYE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK? I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK WE OUGHTA FIND
OUT WHAT HE GAVE THE GIRL.
[Gasps] I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
I LOST MY WALLET IN A MARKET A
COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, AND, UH...
WE'RE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR
MONEY. WE JUST WANT YOUR COMPANY.
THERE WASN'T ANY
MONEY IN IT ANYWAY.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS. NOW LET'S
SLIDE OUT OF THERE NICE AND EASY.
THIS SIDE. COME ON.
TAKE IT EASY! WE'RE COPS.
YEAH, AND I'M MAGIC
JOHNSON. COME ON.
HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH. WE WANT
YOUR HELP. WE'RE FROM THE PHOENIX P.D.
OH, THEN YOU KNOW
THE ROUTINE. SPREAD 'EM.
LET'S GO.
SON OF A GUN. YOU
ARE A COP. I TOLD YA.
WHAT'S TWO COPS FROM PHOENIX
FOLLOWING ME AROUND SAN TOMAS?
IF WE COULD STAND UP, I'LL BE
HAPPY TO TELL YOU. YEAH, SURE.
WE'RE HERE BECAUSE WE HAVE
REASON TO BELIEVE THAT, UH,
THESE TWO MEN ARE IN THE AREA.
- YEAH, SO?
- THEY PULLED A SIX MILLION
DOLLAR GOLD HEIST IN PHOENIX.
- I DIDN'T READ ANYTHING
LIKE THAT IN THE PAPERS.
- IT WASN'T IN THE PAPERS.
IT WAS A GOVERNMENT BULLION TRANSFER,
AND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TOP SECRET.
WE HAVE POSITIVE
I.D.'s ON THOSE TWO.
WE ALSO BELIEVE PETE THOMAS
IS FENCING THE GOLD FOR THEM.
HE'S DONE THIS KIND OF THING
BEFORE. WE'VE BEEN WATCHING HIM.
BUT THE ONLY BUSINESS HE'S BEEN DOING
THESE DAYS IS THE CARS HE'S SOLD TO THE...
TO THIS MOVIE.
WAIT A MINUTE. YOU
THINK THOMAS IS SOMEHOW
USING THIS MOVIE COMPANY
TO FENCE THE GOLD?
WE WERE HOPING YOU COULD
SORT OF BE OUR MAN ON THE INSIDE.
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HE WASN'T FENCING THE
GOLD, HE'S TAKING IT OUT OF THE COUNTRY?
- I'D SAY, "HOW?"
- IN THE CARS THAT
WE'RE USING FOR THE STUNTS.
- BUT YOU'RE WRECKING 'EM.
- YEAH, BUT HE'S SELLING 'EM
IN MEXICO FOR SCRAP.
- ARE YOU SURE?
- I SOON WILL BE.
YES, MOBILE OPERATOR,
COULD YOU CONNECT ME
WITH THE SAN TOMAS
POLICE DEPARTMENT, PLEASE.
YES, CRIME LAB, PLEASE.
HELLO, UH, THIS IS COLT SEAVERS.
COULD I SPEAK TO THE YOUNG LADY THAT I
SENT OVER TO HAVE A SAMPLE ANALYZED?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT THERE?
SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE BY NOW.
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
HEY, WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- TO THE WRECKING YARD.
- COME ON.
STOP! STOP! WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU CAN'T... PLEASE
DON'T DO THIS TO ME!
[Whimpering]
WAIT A MINUTE! YOU CAN'T
DO THIS! YOU CAN'T... OW!
OH, MY...
OH, MY GOD! [Gasps]
SEAVERS!
[Whimpering]
[Panting]
HEY!
OW!
OH! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
WELL, I'M GETTING
OLDER, YOU KNOW. OH.
OOH!
OH, MY HEAVENS. WHO'S THAT?
THAT'S THE CAVALRY.
HEY, THAT'S REED.
GREAT WORK, SEAVERS.
YEAH, WELL, THE OTHER
ONE'S OVER THERE. GET HIM.
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?
- I GOT A STUNT TO DO.
HEY, WAIT! SEAVERS! WAIT FOR ME!
[Man On P.A.] ALL RIGHT, CHOPPER'S
HERE. EVERYBODY'S READY.
LET'S GET THE CAMERA
TRUCK IN POSITION.
READY TO GO IN THREE MINUTES.
YOU OKAY, COLT? YEAH, NOTHIN'
TO IT. DID YOU TALK TO GLORIA?
YEAH. SHE DIDN'T GET THE
HARNESS BACK AT THE HOSPITAL.
DOC BROWNER GAVE
IT TO HER THE NEXT DAY.
- THAT'S WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF.
- DOC WAS IN ON IT.
YEAH. HE ALMOST
GOT STEVE KILLED.
- WHERE IS DOC?
- WELL, HE SHOULD BE HERE.
- WELL, DON'T COUNT ON IT.
- COLT, YOU READY TO DO THIS?
YOU BET.
LOOK, YOU FIND DOC. I'LL TAKE
CARE OF HIM AFTER THE STUNT.
- [Man On P.A.] POSITIONS, PLEASE.
- LISTEN. BE CAREFUL, OKAY?
LET'S GO. HOWIE, FIND DOC
AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
[Man On P.A.] CHOPPER'S
READY! CAR'S READY!
ALL CAMERAS READY!
POSITIONS, PLEASE!
POSITIONS!
READY TO ROLL!
ROLL 'EM!
ALL RIGHT. HOLD HER STEADY.
THAT'S DOC BROWNER
IN THAT CAR. FOLLOW HIM!
OKAY! HANG ON! HERE WE GO!
LOWER!
A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT.
[Woman On P.A.] DR. SAUNDERS,
ONE SOUTH. 5-2-1-5-5.
WELL, I JUST CAME FROM THE
EMERGENCY ROOM. DOC'S GONNA BE OKAY.
THAT'S A RELIEF.
WHEN THEY SMUGGLED THE
GOLD OUT OF THE COUNTRY,
HOW COME IT DIDN'T GET MIXED
UP WITH ALL THE OTHER METALS?
WELL, THAT'S SIMPLE. I TOOK A YEAR OF
METALLURGY AT COLORADO SCHOOL OF THE MINES.
YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU HAD.
YOU SEE, WHEN THE SCRAP METAL GETS TO
MEXICO, THEY MELT DOWN THE WHOLE THING.
GOLD HAS A VERY LOW MELTING
POINT, BUT IT'S ALSO VERY HEAVY.
SO AS THE TEMPERATURE
RISES, THE GOLD FLOWS OFF FIRST.
I NEVER REALIZED IT BEFORE, HOWIE,
BUT YOU ARE A VERY INTELLIGENT MAN.
DON'T ENCOURAGE
HIM. OH, I'M SORRY.
HEY, STEVE. LOOKIN' GOOD.
I GUESS YOU KNOW EVERYTHING
THAT HAPPENED, HUH?
YEAH.
LITTLE HARD TO BELIEVE DOC
WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
EVEN IF HE DID FIND OUT
I WAS ONTO HIS SCAM.
YEAH. SURPRISED ME TOO. I
COULDN'T BELIEVE IT TILL THE VERY END.
WELL, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING
YOU DID. I WON'T FORGET IT.
HEY, WHEN YOU GET OUTTA HERE, WE
GOTTA GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING TOGETHER.
YOU GOT A DEAL, PARD.
HOME, JAMES.
THANKS, COLT. GOOD-BYE, GLORIA.
[Woman On P.A.] DR. ASHLEY,
EIGHT EAST. 5-9-7-1-7.
THERE REALLY IS A STRONG BOND
BETWEEN STUNTMEN, ISN'T THERE?
WELL, THERE'S A STRONG BOND
BETWEEN ME AND ANYBODY I CARE ABOUT.
COLT, I'D LIKE TO HAVE A
WORD WITH YOU... ALONE.
SURE. HEY, UH, NICE JACKET, KID.
- YEAH!
- [Chuckles]
I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SOME OF THE
STUPID THINGS THAT I HAVE SAID IN THE PAST.
- I GUESS I LIKE TO PRETEND
THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING.
- THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DO.
WAIT A MINUTE. DON'T GET SMART ON
ME WHEN I AM TRYING TO BE HUMBLE.
- ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME.
- YOU KNOW, SEAVERS,
THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME SO MAD.
YOU SEE, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
YOU NEVER EVEN GIVE A GIRL AN INCH.
I DON'T LIKE TO DO MY
FIGHTING IN HOSPITALS.
CAN'T WE DO THIS OVER,
UH, TACOS AND A COLD BEER?
I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THOUGHT I'D NEVER ASK?
YOU'RE SO LIBERATED,
WHY DIDN'T ASK ME?
WHAT, STEP ON THAT
FRAGILE MALE EGO OF YOURS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MALE EGO?
YOU HEARD ME. THIS MALE EGO.
IT'S SO FRAGILE. I DON'T
HAVE A MALE EGO. COME ON.