The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 5, Episode 25 - The Way We Were: Part 1 - full transcript
As the girls prepare for their summer vacations, they look back on the past, as seen in clips from previous episodes.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
TOOTIE, WILL YOU GET
MORRIS OUT OF HERE?
I THINK HE ATE AN
IMPORTANT PART.
HE DID NOT, AND YOU
KNOW HIS NAME IS JEFFY
BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND
JEFF GAVE YOU TO ME,
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
I HATE PEOPLE WHO TALK TO CATS.
GIRLS, I TOLD YOU THE
PAINTERS ARE DUE ANY MINUTE.
STRIP YOUR BEDS.
EVERYTHING OFF THE
WALLS. EMPTY THE CLOSETS.
I...
GET THAT CAT AWAY FROM ME.
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
RIGHT AFTER JEFFY'S
HAD HIS LUNCH.
WELL, GET THAT LUNCH TO GO,
AND GET JEFFY TO GO WITH IT.
YOU WANT A THRILL, MRS. GARRETT?
MY BROCHURE CAME TODAY.
OH, TRUMAN CAPOTE'S
CREATIVE WRITING CAMP.
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY HAVE
THE CREDENTIALS FOR IT, NATALIE.
YEAH, 400 BUCKS.
ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO CAMP?
OH, IT'S NOT A CAMP.
THEY JUST CALL IT A CAMP.
WELL, THEY'VE GOT CANOEING.
WE AREN'T JUST PADDLING
AROUND OUT THERE.
WE'RE EXCHANGING CONCEPTS.
THEY'VE GOT ARCHERY.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT, MRS. GARRETT?
WELL, JO, HOW'S THE
REBUILDING JOB COMING?
WELL, IT'S ALMOST FINISHED
EXCEPT FOR THE CARBURETOR,
AND WITH THE MONEY I'LL MAKE,
I'M TAKING MY MOM ON HER
FIRST VACATION IN 2 YEARS.
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PEACH PUMPS?
WELL, UH, IF YOU'D
CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET,
MAYBE YOU'D FIND THEM.
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING
THIS SUMMER, BLAIR?
WHO CAN THINK PAST JUNE?
I'M EITHER BRIDESMAID OR
MAID OF HONOR IN 5 WEDDINGS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
EVERYONE INSISTS ON ME.
WHO ELSE CAN AFFORD
TO BUY 5 DRESSES
THEY'LL NEVER WEAR AGAIN?
OKAY, MY PERSIMMON PUMPS,
MY LIME PUMPS, MY PLUM PUMPS.
THIS IS HORRIBLE!
WHY, ARE THEY STARTING TO ROT?
PLEASE, I CAN'T FIND
MY PEACH PUMPS.
I WON'T MATCH.
AND JOHN DELOREAN
THINKS HE HAS PROBLEMS.
WELL, I GOTTA RUN TO CYCLE CITY.
IF THEY DON'T HAVE THE
RIGHT VALVE LIFTER, I'M DEAD.
AND JOHN DELOREAN
THINKS HE HAS PROBLEMS.
OH, JO, COULD YOU POSSIBLY
DROP BY THE BRIDAL SHOP
ON YOUR WAY HOME AND
PICK UP MY PEACH ORGANZA?
OH... THAT'S A DRESS.
YEAH, I GUESS.
OH, LISTEN, COULD
YOU TAKE MY CAR
INSTEAD OF YOUR BIKE?
I DON'T WANNA GET DEAD
BUGS ALL OVER MY DRESS.
WHAT A KICK!
WILL YOU LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF
THAT'S ACCUMULATED
IN THIS TRUNK?
OH, ONE OF MY
HARVEST QUEEN CROWNS.
ARE MY PEACH PUMPS IN THERE?
UH, NO.
OH, BUT LOOK AT THIS, BLAIR.
MY FIRST PUBLISHED ARTICLE...
AN EIGHTH GRADER GETS ANGRY.
ALL OUR YEARBOOKS AND SOUVENIRS.
REMEMBER THESE?
DO I?
TOOTIE'S FIRST YEAR,
SHE NEVER TOOK THEM OFF.
MRS. GARRETT, COME QUICK!
THE PIG IS LOOSE ON THE BUS!
OH, DON'T GET SO
EXCITED, TOOTIE.
HE CAN'T DRIVE A STICK SHIFT.
♪ TUT-TUT, TOOTIE, GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ TUT-TUT, TOOTIE, DON'T CRY ♪
TOOTIE.
DITTOS ARE NOT SATISFACTORY.
DITTOS DON'T SLICE IT, HUH?
HAVE YOU DECIDED
WHAT YOU WANT TO BE
WHEN YOU GRADUATE FROM
EASTLAND AND GO TO COLLEGE?
OH, I'M NOT GOING TO
COLLEGE, MR. BRADLEY.
RIGHT, NAT? RIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT?
NO. WE'RE BOTH GONNA STUDY
WITH VIDAL SASSOON
TO LEARN ADVANCED SASSOONING.
TOOTIE...
I WANT YOU TO HAVE
THIS TO REMEMBER ME BY.
OH, NAT!
THE WIG YOUR MOM
GAVE US TO PRACTICE ON.
GEE, WHAT A FRIEND.
YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS
WANTED TO KNOW
WHAT IT WAS LIKE
TO BE... A BLONDE.
TOOTIE...
YOU WILL KEEP MY
SECRET, WON'T YOU?
YOU KNOW ME.
I SURE DO.
EVERYTHING I TELL YOU
GOES IN ONE EAR
AND OUT YOUR MOUTH.
BLAIR, DON'T WORRY.
I JUST HOPE I DON'T
TALK IN MY SLEEP.
EXACTLY WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU
SHUT UP IN YOUR SLEEP?
OH, IF I WEREN'T UNDER
SO MUCH PRESSURE.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT PRESSURE?
WELL, I GOTTA MAKE
MY BED EVERY DAY.
OKAY, I'LL MAKE YOUR BED.
AND CLEAN MY ROOM EVERY DAY.
ALL RIGHT.
AND PRESS MY UNI...
ALL RIGHT, TOOTIE,
AND THAT'S IT!
THIS IS TOO MUCH.
HAVING A WHITE MAID.
I WONDER WHAT IT'S
LIKE TO BE IN THE GROUP.
IT'S PROBABLY LIKE WALKING
INTO SOME SNOOTY COUNTRY CLUB.
"HOW ARE YOU, TUMPY?"
"JUST FINE, POOPY."
"DO YOU KNOW BIPPY
AND DIPPY AND SNITZY?"
"OH, YES, THEY'RE FUN PEOPLE."
I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
HIT THE WALL OF PAIN?
MORE LIKE THE WAILING WALL.
SUE ANN... SHE SHOULD BE
ARRESTED FOR VANDALISM.
YEAH, DEFACING A
NATIONAL TREASURE.
MAYBE IF I PUT THIS ON,
NOBODY WOULD NOTICE.
TOOTIE...
THIS COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE
THE LIST OF IQ SCORES, COULD IT?
NO, MRS. GARRETT. NOT POSSIBLY.
DEFINITELY.
TOOTIE, IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU THINK YOU
SHOULD DO ABOUT THIS?
YEAH. MAKE A BREAK FOR IT.
OKAY... LET'S GO TO
MR. BRADLEY'S OFFICE.
ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
I'LL ROLL YOU DOWN
THAT LAST MILE.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
LAUGHING ABOUT?
YOU IN YOUR FIRST
YEAR. REMEMBER?
MY SKATES!
BOY, MY FEET HAVE GROWN.
NATALIE, WOULD YOU PUT
JEFFY IN HIS TRAVEL TOTE?
SURE. THANKS.
OH!
LOOK AT MY FIRST
YEARBOOK PICTURE.
"BLAIR HAS GRACE, BEAUTY,
AND A NATURAL TALENT
FOR LEADERSHIP."
EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT.
THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED.
WHAT HAPPENED?
IS THIS WHERE I'M
SUPPOSED TO CHECK IN?
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU DON'T? I WAS GONNA
ASK HIM TO THE FALL DANCE.
OOH!
HI.
I'M MRS. GARRETT,
THE SCHOOL DIETICIAN.
YOU MUST BE... JO,
THE NEW STUDENT.
RIGHT. HOW'D YOU KNOW?
EASY. I'VE NEVER
SEEN A MOTORCYCLE
PARKED IN MY FLOWERBED BEFORE.
OH, I THOUGHT THEY WERE WEEDS.
I CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE
THE ONE THEY PUT ME WITH.
JOANN PALL-NIA-ZECK.
I HOPE SHE BRINGS
ALONG AN INTERPRETER
TO HELP ME WITH THAT NAME.
IT'S POLNIACZEK.
YOU?
AND I GOT YOUR
INTERPRETER RIGHT HERE.
NOBODY JOKES ABOUT MY NAME.
YOU KNOW, THEY
REALLY DON'T HAVE TO.
THERE'S ENOUGH LAUGHS
IN THE WAY YOU ACT.
WOULD YOU GIRLS CARE
FOR A BOWL OF MEOW MIX?
NATALIE, SHOW JO A BETTER PLACE
TO PARK HER MOTORCYCLE, HUH?
WHY DON'T I JUST PARK
IT ON BLAIR'S FACE?
SHE'S A BREATH OF
FRESH AIR, ISN'T SHE?
SO, I HOPE YOU'RE GONNA STAY.
I'M SURE WE'LL MAKE
GREAT ROOMMATES.
SO GARRETT'S BEEN
WORKING ON YOU, HUH?
OK, MRS. GARRETT DID SAY
A FEW WORDS IN PASSING,
BUT IT WAS ONLY TO REMIND
ME OF THAT EASTLAND SPIRIT.
AND WHAT'S THAT?
SLUMMING BUILDS CHARACTER?
NO, IT'S HONESTY.
LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING
YOU'RE MY IDEA
OF THE PERFECT ROOMMATE.
THAT WOULD BE PRINCE CHARLES.
YEAH?
WELL, YOU DON'T WIN
ANY POPULARITY CONTESTS
WITH ME NEITHER.
GOOD. I SEE WE
AGREE ON SOMETHING.
YEAH, THAT AND I'M
WEARING LAST YEAR'S JEANS.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT REMARK.
I ADMIT I SOMETIMES DO PAY
A BIT TOO MUCH
ATTENTION TO FASHION.
ME NOT ENOUGH.
HOW ABOUT IT?
WANT TO TRY BUNKING
TOGETHER FOR A WHILE?
WELL, IT WOULDN'T KILL ME.
OK.
MY JEANS ARE KIND
OF OLD AND RIPPED.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
MY JORDACHES ARE YOUR JORDACHES.
OH, THANKS!
YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T
MIND ME TAKING THEM IN?
FORTUNATELY FOR YOU,
WE DON'T MOVE IN
THE SAME CIRCLES,
OR I COULD SHOW
YOU WHICH ONE OF US
A REAL MAN WOULD GO FOR.
OH, IT'D BE EASY
TO SHOW HER, BLAIR,
AT THE CHUG-A-LUG
BAR ON THE HIGHWAY.
IT'S JUST LOADED
WITH COLLEGE GUYS.
PERFECT.
THANKS, TOOTIE.
DON'T MENTION IT.
LISTEN, I'D GO IN A MINUTE,
BUT WE CAN'T GET INTO THE BAR.
WE'RE BOTH UNDERAGE,
AND THEY ASK FOR I.D.s.
SO, WE'LL GIVE THEM I.D.s.
YOU'RE NOT 18.
THAT I.D. IS FAKED.
YEAH. I DO BEAUTIFUL
WORK, DON'T I?
AND I ALWAYS CARRY A SPARE.
THAT I CAN FAKE FOR YOU.
ALLS I NEED IS A
PICTURE. IT'S SIMPLE.
SIMPLE FOR YOU, BUT...
MY GOODNESS, WHICH
PICTURE WILL I USE?
THIS ONE'S NICE.
I'M SMILING WITHOUT
BEING TOO TOOTHY.
OH, THIS ONE'S AT THE HEIGHT
OF MY TAN, COCONUT OIL.
NO, NO, NO, THIS
IS IT. THIS IS IT.
I'M WEARING SIZZLING
PINK LIP QUENCHER.
I DON'T KNOW. THIS ONE'S
PRETTY MARVELOUS...
WHO CARES?
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
YOU GOT US INTO THIS.
BLOW IT OUT YOUR GUCCI BAG.
JUST SIT DOWN AND COOL IT, HUH?
THIS IS NO BIG DEAL.
NO BIG DEAL?
WE'RE LOCKED UP LIKE
COMMON CRIMINALS
AND YOU SAY IT'S NO BIG DEAL?
MY LIFE IS RUINED.
THEY'LL NEVER LET ME SET FOOT
IN MARTHA'S VINEYARD AGAIN.
MY MOM'S GONNA
HAVE A HEART ATTACK,
A QUADRUPLE BYPASS.
SHE'LL BE IN INTENSIVE
CARE FOR 12 YEARS.
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA DISOWN ME.
"THAT LITTLE BLACK
KID? NO, SHE AIN'T OURS."
I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
I CAN'T STAND BEING
CLOSED IN LIKE THIS.
LET ME OUT!
BLAIR, WE'VE ONLY BEEN
IN HERE FOR 45 MINUTES.
BOY, JO'S REALLY CHANGED
SINCE THEN, HASN'T SHE?
UH, BLAIR, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEE
WHAT'S UNDER JO'S BED.
WHAT? A DUST BUNNY
THE SIZE OF SCHENECTADY?
DO DUST BUNNIES COME IN PEACH?
MY PUMPS!
OH, OF COURSE!
I PUT THEM UNDER HERE
WHEN I RAN OUT OF SPACE.
WAIT. WAIT.
I GOT IT.
OH...
JO'S BEEN WORKING ON
THAT ENGINE FOR 2 WEEKS.
OH, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL PICK UP THE PIECES.
NOT THE ONES THAT FELL
THROUGH THE HEATING VENT.
THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE.
OK, THIS LITTLE SQUIGGLY THING
GOES RIGHT IN HERE IN
THIS LITTLE RUBBER THING.
AND THIS LITTLE SPRINGY THING
GOES RIGHT OVER HERE
WITH THE OILY THING.
RIGHT?
AH, JO'S NOT GONNA NOTICE
THAT A FEW OF THE PIECES
ARE A TINY BIT MIXED UP.
DREAM ON.
SO, YOU'RE SAYING SHE'LL NOTICE?
YES, AND WHEN SHE DOES,
THERE'LL BE PARTS OF YOU
DOWN THE HEATING VENT.
NOT NECESSARILY.
JO CAN BE VERY REASONABLE.
LIKE WHEN?
NO... TOOTIE'S RIGHT.
THERE'S REALLY
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
UNLESS JO ACTS LIKE
SHE USUALLY DOES.
A RING!
IS THIS AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
STAND BACK. I'M IDENTIFYING.
THAT'S NOT AN ENGAGEMENT RING.
AN ENGAGEMENT RING
HAS A DIAMOND IN IT.
IT'S GOT A DIAMOND IN IT.
MAYBE IT WOULD HELP TO
BRING IT A LITTLE CLOSER.
OF COURSE. NOW I SEE IT.
LOVELY.
UH, JO, WILL YOU GET
THAT BAG FOR ME, PLEASE?
SURE, SURE.
THERE YOU GO.
WELL, I'M NOT AFRAID OF HER.
OW!
HEY, BLAIR, LISTEN.
HEY, I MAY NOT RESPECT
YOU, BUT I RESPECT YOUR TURF.
YOU WANT HIM, YOU GOT
HIM. I WON'T TAKE YOUR GUY.
TAKE MY GUY?
LISTEN, WHEN IT COMES TO MEN,
THE ONLY THING YOU COULD
TAKE FROM ME IS LESSONS.
JUST DON'T START WITH ME.
I SAID I'M NOT GOING.
I'M TRYING TO BE NICE.
SHE IS, BLAIR. SHE REALLY IS.
OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT GOING.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE
OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.
YOU WOULDN'T SUBJECT YOURSELF
TO THAT KIND OF HUMILIATION.
WHAT HUMILIATION?
WHEN YOU DRINK OUT
OF THE FINGER BOWL
AND PUT KETCHUP ON YOUR QUICHE.
YOU'VE GOT NO BUSINESS
AT THAT COTILLION,
AND YOU KNOW IT.
I'VE GOT AS MUCH
BUSINESS THERE AS YOU DO,
AND I GOT MORE... I WAS ASKED.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I AM GOING WITH YOUR FRIEND,
SO EAT YOUR HEART OUT.
AND DON'T FORGET
TO PUT KETCHUP ON IT.
WHAT'S THIS?
NAILS, BOARDS, CHICKEN WIRE?
I'M SETTING A TRAP
TO TAKE CARE OF OUR
FURRY LITTLE FRIEND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "TAKE CARE OF"?
WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN?
JO, YOU CAN'T HURT THAT
CUTE LITTLE SQUIRREL.
DON'T YOU KNOW HE'S ONE OF...
ONE OF GOD'S CREATURES?
BUT HE'S ON MY TURF.
I DON'T GO INTO HIS FOREST.
FACE IT, HE BOUGHT IT
THE MINUTE HE CROSSED
MY WINDOW LEDGE.
ORDER, BLAIR.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
HERE'S A PICTURE OF A HAMBURGER,
AND IT'S GREEN.
CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT
THE REAL THING'S LIKE?
OH, MY WORD.
WHAT?
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHAT?
THERE'S A HAIR IN MY MENU.
NOT ANYMORE. ORDER.
I'LL THANK YOU NOT TO TAKE
THAT TONE WITH MY FRIEND.
SHE'LL TAKE WHATEVER TONE
SHE WANTS WITH YOUR FRIEND.
HOW DéCLASSé.
OH... THAT MEANS "LOW."
IN YOUR EAR.
THAT MEANS "IN YOUR EAR."
LITTLE WORDS FOR LITTLE MINDS.
AND JUST WHOSE MIND
ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE,
MUFFIN HEAD?
HERS. AND DON'T
YOU CALL ME NAMES,
YOU GRUNGY GREASE MONKEY.
I NEED A CLOCK.
MRS. GARRETT, I'M
TAKING YOUR EGG TIMER.
OKAY.
JO, WAIT!
AND A FUSE. I NEED A FUSE.
OH, GOOD, AND I'LL
MIX UP SOME STUFF
IN THE SCIENCE LAB.
WHAT ARE YOU MAKING, A BOMB?
YES! YES! WHAT?!
I'M GONNA ROLL IT
THROUGH THEIR FRONT DOOR
AND THEN POW! BOY, POW!
DEAD KAWASAKIS
ALL OVER THE STREET!
ARE THERE ANY MORE LITTLE
SQUIGGLY THINGS ON THE FLOOR?
TOO LATE, BLAIR.
YOUR CAR'S ALREADY BACK.
THAT MEANS JO'S BACK.
HI!
HI.
YOUR PEACH ORGANZA.
ISN'T IT LOVELY?
WHO CARES? WHERE'S JO?
BLAIR!
HI, GUYS.
HI, JO. HI, JO.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS... OH!
I FOUND MY PEACH PUMPS.
ISN'T THAT GOOD NEWS?
UNFORTUNATELY...
WHILE I WAS GETTING THEM
OUT FROM UNDER YOUR BED,
I, UM... I, UH...
SPIT IT OUT, BLAIR.
WELL... YOUR ENGINE
SORT OF ROLLED OFF,
AND THERE WERE LITTLE
MECHANICAL THINGS
ALL OVER THE FLOOR.
WHAT?
NOW, JO, I'M SURE
BLAIR DIDN'T MEAN IT.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT, MRS. G.
NO BIG DEAL.
JO, DID YOU FIND GOD
ON THE WAY HOME?
NO. IT JUST DOESN'T HELP
THINGS TO GET UPSET.
ONE OTHER LITTLE THING.
A FEW OF THE PIECES
MAY BE A BIT HARD TO FIND...
THE ONES THAT FELL DOWN
INTO THE HEATING VENT.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
OH, WELL, IT'S OK.
WE'LL SIMPLY BUY
YOU A NEW ENGINE.
NO, WE WON'T. YES, WE WILL.
NO, WE WON'T. I INSIST.
NOW, HERE IS A BLANK CHECK.
YOU JUST FILL IN THE AMOUNT.
BAD MOVE, BLAIR.
THAT'S STILL YOUR ANSWER
TO EVERY PROBLEM...
THROW MONEY AT IT.
WELL, DON'T TRY THAT WITH ME.
WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE SO UNGRATEFUL.
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO ACT.
YOU NEVER HAD TO WORK
FOR ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.
YOU CAN'T EVEN BE
GRACIOUS ENOUGH
TO LET ME PAY FOR
MY OWN MISTAKE.
YOU HAVE TO GET
MEAN AND INSULTING.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU
DIDN'T MISS THE POINT.
HERE.
MY DRESS!
IT'S RUINED.
YOU DROPPED IT ON THAT
OILY ENGINE ON PURPOSE!
I DID NOT.
YOU DID TOO.
OK, YOU GOT YOUR REVENGE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
OH, BLAIR, THE
DRESS CAN BE FIXED.
WHAT'S MUCH MORE
IMPORTANT IS YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
WHAT FRIENDSHIP?
I EXPECT MORE OUT OF A FRIEND
THAN A BIG, FAT CHECKBOOK.
AND I EXPECT MORE THAN
AN ILL-MANNERED BULLY.
GREAT.
THEN I WON'T HAVE TO FAKE
BEING FRIENDS NEXT YEAR.
I'M MOVING OUT.
HERE, BLAIR.
YOU'RE A MAID OF HONOR AGAIN.
OH, YOU GOT THE STAIN OUT!
THANKS, MRS. GARRETT. SURE.
WELL...
WELL, WELL, WELL,
WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.
NOW THAT YOUR DRESS IS FIXED
AND JO'S GETTING HER
ENGINE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN
AND, UH... WE'RE ALL RELAXED...
OH, I THINK WE MIGHT
FORGET ANY HARSH WORDS
THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SAID...
NO WAY. FORGET IT.
WE'LL TALK AGAIN SOON.
COME ON, GUYS.
IT CAN'T END THIS WAY.
YEAH, OVER ONE LITTLE SPAT?
ADMIT IT... YOU TWO
LOVE TO MIX IT UP.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
YOUR FINEST HOURS
HAVE BEEN SPENT AT
EACH OTHER'S THROATS.
HEY, TOOTIE, YOU LEFT YOUR
SKETCHBOOK IN THE LIBRARY.
OH, THANKS.
WHAT WERE YOU
DOING IN THE LIBRARY?
READING DUMBO?
I DON'T HAVE TO READ DUMBO.
I BUNK NEXT TO HER.
GUESS WHAT WE JUST DUG UP
OUT OF OUR SOLAR GREENHOUSE.
YOUR FACE?
IT'S A BOK CHOY.
CHINESE CABBAGE.
WELL, E-I-E-I-O.
BOY, HE STUCK TO ME
LIKE FLIES ON A NO-PEST STRIP.
THE ONLY WAY I
COULD GET RID OF HIM
WAS TO SAY I'D GO OUT WITH HIM.
YOU MEAN HARRISON
ASKED YOU OUT ON A...
"DATE," BLAIR. WE
CALL IT A "DATE."
YEAH, THERE'S SOME
WINGDING TOMORROW NIGHT.
COULD THAT BE YOUR
WINGDING, BLAIR?
I DON'T GO TO WINGDINGS.
I GO TO COTILLIONS.
WELL, IF THAT'S A DANCE AT
THE HIGHCREST COUNTRY CLUB,
YOUR COTILLION AND MY
WINGDING ARE THE SAME THING.
REALLY, MRS. GARRETT,
IF I DON'T SPEND
SOME MONEY SOON,
I'LL PULL ALL MY HAIR OUT.
OH, TERRIFIC.
WE CAN FINALLY FIND OUT
WHAT COLOR THE ROOTS ARE.
NAT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
IF YOU LIKE THE GUY,
GRAB HIM AND TELL HIM HE
DRIVES YOU OUT OF YOUR TREE.
YOU'RE SUCH A SIMPLE LIFE FORM.
HEY, JO, WHY DON'T YOU TRY
OUT FOR SOMETHING THIS YEAR?
NO WAY.
I'M NOT GONNA STAND UP HERE
AND MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF.
BUT YOU DO IT SO WELL.
AH! AH!
OH, YOU LOOK FABULOUS!
OH... I JUST LOVE THAT SWEATER.
OH, I WOULD KILL...
WE'RE TALKING MURDER
ONE... FOR THAT HAIR.
I THINK I JUST STUMBLED INTO A
FARRAH FAWCETT CONVENTION.
OH, UH, DINA, THIS IS JO.
SHE'S, UH... A
SCHOOLMATE OF MINE.
IS SHE REALLY?
DINA BECKER.
SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
LIKEWISE.
THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
YOU GOT TO SEE WITH
YOUR OWN EYES TO BELIEVE.
YEAH, DINA AND BLAIR...
THE DIMWITS OF BONWITS.
TRUE.
MY FRIENDS ARE MORE AT
HOME IN STORES THAN IN SEWERS.
YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?
IF THE MANHOLE COVER FITS...
HEY, WE'RE TRYING TO
SETTLE AN ARGUMENT HERE,
NOT START A NEW ONE.
WILL YOU TWO BUG OFF?
NO, WE WON'T.
YOU TWO COULD LEARN A LOT
FROM US TWO, RIGHT, TOOT?
RIGHT, NAT.
WE MAY BE YOUNG,
BUT OUR RELATIONSHIP
HAS ALWAYS BEEN MATURE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TOOTIE, WOULD YOU STOP?
TOOTIE... AAH! OH, MY GOD.
TOOTIE, WAIT. STOP.
OKAY. TOOTIE, WAIT. STOP!
♪ CELEBRATE GOOD
TIMES, COME ON ♪
TOOTIE.
♪ CELEBRATE GOOD
TIMES, COME ON ♪
TOOTIE!
HEY, NATALIE,
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
NO PROBLEM IF MY TEST
WAS ON KOOL & THE GANG.
IF YOU'RE REFERRING
TO MY SINGING,
IT HELPS ME THINK.
♪ CEL... ♪
IF YOU DON'T PUT
THAT THING AWAY,
I'M GONNA SIT ON YOUR NECK.
I HATE THAT HAT.
THIS IS MY EXAM HAT.
I WEAR IT TWICE A
YEAR EVERY YEAR.
YOU KNOW THAT.
I STILL HATE IT.
DO I HAVE TO GO OVER THIS AGAIN?
THESE ARE MY
BRAIN-WAVE CONDUCTORS,
AND WHEN THE
WINDOW IS OPEN, I GET...
DO YOU TWO MIND?
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAY ♪♪
I'M GONNA GET IT FOR SURE.
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAY ♪
♪ SOME ENCHANTED EVENING ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FIND YOUR TRUE LOVE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FEEL HIM CALL
YOU ACROSS A CROWDED ROOM ♪
♪ THEN FLY TO HIS SIDE ♪
♪ AND MAKE HIM YOUR OWN ♪
WHOOPS, THEY DROPPED.
AAH, LIGHTS! TOOTIE, LIGHTS!
WHAT IS IT?
SOMETHING JUST
CRAWLED UP MY LEG.
WISHFUL THINKING.
GO TO SLEEP.
NO, TOOTIE, I SAW IT.
SOMETHING HUGE, LIKE
A RACCOON OR A RAT.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
I SAW IT JUMP OFF MY BED AND
SCAMPER ACROSS THE ROOM.
WE'RE BEING OVERRUN.
IT'S THE DAY OF THE ANIMALS.
TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S PROBABLY JUST A
CUTE LITTLE SQUIRREL.
THEY'RE ALWAYS RUNNING
AROUND THE YARD.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
NATALIE! HEY, RELAX.
IF THERE IS A SQUIRREL IN HERE,
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS
LEAVE THE WINDOW OPEN.
HE'LL FIND HIS WAY OUT AGAIN.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH. MOVE OVER.
WHAT?! THERE'S NO ROOM!
I DON'T WANT A
HIDEOUS CREATURE...
AAH! GOD'S CREATURE.
GREAT. I DON'T WANT
ONE OF GOD'S CREATURES
HIBERNATING IN MY NIGHTIE.
NOW MOVE OVER.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
PASS THIS ALGEBRA TEST
IF I'M PLAYING NANNY ALL NIGHT?
DID YOU CHECK IT TO MAKE SURE
IT'S THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE?
TRUST ME, IT'S FINE.
NO!
YOU HAVE TO TEST
IT ON YOUR WRIST,
OR YOU MIGHT BURN
LITTLE EMILY'S TONGUE.
I'M TALKING ABOUT
BEING PREJUDICED
WITH SOMEONE WHO'S BLACK.
BUT I COULDN'T HAVE
THIS CONVERSATION
WITH ANYBODY BUT YOU.
YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND.
YOU KNOW... I NEVER THINK...
"MY BEST FRIEND IS WHITE."
I JUST KNOW MY BEST
FRIEND IS NATALIE.
SEE, WE'VE SAILED
ROUGH WATERS, TOO,
BUT WE'VE ALWAYS MANAGED
TO STAY AFLOAT, RIGHT, TOOT?
RIGHT. JUST
BOB-BOB-BOBBING ALONG.
I'M GETTING SEASICK.
COME ON, JO.
BLAIR.
DUMB, REALLY DUMB.
NATALIE... JEFFY ISN'T
IN HIS TRAVEL TOTE.
DIDN'T YOU LOCK IT?
I THOUGHT I DID.
HE'S NOT IN THE BATHROOM.
HE'S NOT IN THE CLOSET.
I DON'T SEE HIM
ANYWHERE! JEFFY?! JEFFY?!
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER
ONCE, IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD,
THEY WERE BUILDING THIS THEATER,
AND THERE WAS THIS CAT
THAT KEPT HANGING AROUND,
AND WHEN THEY FINALLY
FINISHED PLASTERING,
WE HEARD MEOWING COMING
FROM INSIDE THE WALLS.
NO.
TOOK WEEKS BEFORE
IT FINALLY STOPPED.
JEFFY'S TRAPPED IN
ONE OF THESE BOXES!
JEFFY?! JEFFY?!
OH, THE GUILT!
WE CALLED IT THE
PUSSYCAT THEATER.
WAIT.
I THINK I HEAR HIM GASPING.
WHO... WHO LET THIS CAT OUT?
WHAT A HORRIBLE MESS.
YEAH. THINK THIS GIANT
CATERPILLAR BELONGS TO YOU.
CAREFUL. THAT'S ANGORA.
IT'S GETTING FUZZ IN MY VALVES.
FORGET YOUR VALVES
AND YOUR SWEATERS.
WE GOTTA REPACK
ALL THIS STUFF FAST.
OH, I JUST KNEW THIS
WAS GONNA HAPPEN!
I ASKED NATALIE TO DO
ME ONE LOUSY FAVOR...
TO PUT JEFFY IN HIS CAGE.
BUT DOES SHE COME
THROUGH FOR ME?
NO!
I DON'T COME THROUGH FOR YOU?
WHAT ABOUT ALL THE TIMES I
FED JEFFY AND DEFLEAED JEFFY
AND LED
SEARCH-AND-DESTROY MISSIONS
THROUGH JEFFY'S KITTY LITTER?
I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE
WITH JEFFY AND HIS OWNER!
STOP IT. STOP IT!
YOU GIRLS AREN'T GONNA
LET THESE PETTY ARGUMENTS
RUIN 5 YEARS OF
WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIP.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST BE HONEST, HUH?
OH, YOU KNOW YOU
WANT TO TELL EACH OTHER,
"I'M SORRY I LOST MY TEMPER,
"AND I... AND I DON'T WANT
TO GO AWAY FOR THE SUMMER
MAD AT MY FRIEND."
SO, GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
SAY IT.
AH, I CAN SEE YOU
WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
AH, BUT THEN... WHO
AM I TO GIVE ADVICE?
IS SHE KIDDING?
LOOK AT ME. I'M A MESS.
CAN I HANG OUT HERE WITH
YOU TILL THE GIRLS GO TO SLEEP?
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO
EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED.
WHAT A JOKE.
YOU KNOW, MRS. GARRETT,
I HAD THIS CRAZY IDEA ABOUT
HOW A COTILLION WOULD BE.
ALL THE GUYS WOULD
ASK ME TO DANCE,
AND EVERYONE
WOULD BE WHISPERING,
"WHO'S THAT CLASSY GIRL?
WHERE'D SHE COME FROM?"
AND I'D BE TREATED
LIKE I BELONGED THERE.
I WANTED TO MAKE
YOU PROUD OF ME.
OH, I AM PROUD OF YOU.
HARRISON PUT YOU IN A
TERRIBLE POSITION TONIGHT.
I MEAN...
WHAT HE DID IS INEXCUSABLE.
AND YOU HANDLED IT WITH
SUCH DIGNITY, GRACE...
CLASS.
OF COURSE, PART OF ME
WISHES YOU'D HAULED OFF
AND HIT HIM WITH SOMETHING.
OH, I DID.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR OTHER SHOE.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
ALL THOSE LETTERS?
I WROTE THEM MYSELF.
YOU MEAN... YOU'RE
HUNKA-HUNKA-HUNKA?
YEAH.
BUT I HAD TO DO IT.
I MEAN, ALL THE OTHER
GIRLS SIT AROUND
TALKING ABOUT THEIR ROMANCES
AND HOW THEIR
INSIDES TURN TO MUSH.
WELL, MY INSIDES AREN'T MUSHY.
I'M NOT EVEN NEAR MUSH.
OH, THAT'S OK.
NO, IT'S NOT.
THE GIRLS THINK I'M GROWN UP.
THEY COULDN'T WAIT TO GET ME
UP TO COOPER'S ROCK WITH ZACK.
AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
COOPER'S ROCK HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH BEING GROWN UP.
THE GIRLS THINK IT DOES.
AND IF THEY KNEW
HOW I REALLY FEEL,
THEY'D TEASE ME
AND CALL ME A KID
AND MAKE JOKES
ABOUT MY HORMONES.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH YOUR HORMONES.
OH, I KNOW THERE ARE
KIDS OUT THERE YOUR AGE
SPLASHING AROUND
IN THE BLUE LAGOON,
BUT I THINK THERE'S
A LOT TO BE SAID
FOR TAKING THINGS SLOWLY
AND LEARNING TO
TREAD WATER FIRST.
BUT I FELT CORNERED.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
TOOTIE, WHAT YOU DO OR DON'T DO
IS NOBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS.
THERE'S NO TIMETABLE
WITH THESE THINGS.
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET ANYONE
BULLY YOU INTO TELLING LIES.
YOU DO WHAT YOU FEEL
IS RIGHT FOR YOU TO DO
AND YOU WON'T GO WRONG.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MRS. GARRETT?
WOW.
NOW, I KNOW YOU MIGHT
THINK IT'S CUT A BIT LOW
AND THE EYE SHADOW A BIT HEAVY,
BUT THIS IS THE
LOOK THAT'S SELLING.
OH, NO, NO, NO. I THINK IT'S
JUST RIGHT FOR YOU, BLAIR.
AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE EXPERT
ON TRICKS TO ATTRACT MEN.
I GUESS SO.
OH, GOLLY, I BET YOU COULD
HAVE ANY MAN YOU WANTED.
YEAH, PROBABLY.
AND I'LL BET YOU HAVE.
WHERE'D YOU HEAR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
OH, NO, IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS
YOU'VE BEEN AROUND.
NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN.
I DON'T DO THOSE KIND OF THINGS.
OH, COME ON, THE WAY
YOU GET YOURSELF UP.
YOU'RE SO
SOPHISTICATED, YOU SMOKE,
AND YOU TALK A GOOD GAME.
THAT'S JUST TALK.
HONEST.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...
"IF YOU'RE ADVERTISING,
YOU MUST BE SELLING."
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL.
YOU CAN ASK ANY GUY I'VE DATED.
I'M A TEASE.
NATALIE, REMEMBER
THE FACULTY SPOOF
AT EASTLAND LAST YEAR?
HOW COULD I FORGET?
I DID YOU.
YOU WERE SO FUNNY IN
THAT APRON AND THE RED WIG,
RUNNING AROUND
THE STAGE YELLING,
"EAT YOUR VEGGIES!
SMELL THE FLOWERS!"
"TALK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS."
YOUR FATHER LED
THE STANDING OVATION.
I REALLY NAILED YOU, DIDN'T I?
YEAH.
WELL...
YOU KNOW...
A FEW WEEKS AFTER
MY FATHER DIED,
SOME FRIENDS TOOK
ME TO THE MOVIES
TO SEE SOME LIKE IT HOT.
I LAUGHED FOR 2 HOURS.
AND THEN I WENT HOME
AND CRIED FOR 2 DAYS.
I MISSED MY DAD SO MUCH.
HOW COULD I HAVE
HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME?
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
BUT THEN I REALIZED
I WASN'T FORGETTING MY DAD
WHEN I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I WAS LETTING GO OF SOME
OF THE PAIN OF LOSING HIM.
NATALIE... IT'S OK.
THAT'S HOW WE GET
ON WITH OUR LIVES.
TONIGHT WE HAVE A
VERY SPECIAL GUEST.
YES. YES.
OH, MRS. GARRETT,
THAT MEANS YOU'LL
HAVE TO MISS THE MOVIE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'LL FIND SOMEONE
ELSE TO TAKE ME.
AND AFTER I FINISH STUDYING,
I'LL COME BACK AND
PLAY WITH EMILY.
WELL, WE'D BETTER GET READY, JO.
WE'RE RUNNING WAY
BEHIND SCHEDULE. COME ON.
FIND YOU A RIDE.
YOO-HOO!
JUST A SECOND.
UH, WHAT EXACTLY WERE YOU GIRLS
PLANNING TO DO ABOUT THE BABY?
DO?
I SAID I'D PLAY WITH HER
WHEN I FINISH STUDYING.
WELL, AS LONG AS
SHE'S IN OUR HOUSE,
SHE'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
ALL OF US.
INDIA HAD GANDHI, WE
HAVE MRS. GARRETT.
ARE YOU TWO STILL GIVING EACH
OTHER THE SILENT TREATMENT?
MRS. GARRETT'S RIGHT.
IT'S TIME TO MAKE UP.
I'VE COMPLETELY FORGIVEN TOOTIE.
THANKS, NATALIE.
LOOK, I'VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH,
BUT NOBODY'S LEAVING THIS ROOM
TILL WE SETTLE
THIS STUPID THING.
YEAH.
COME ON.
♪ HERE'S TO GOOD FRIENDS ♪
♪ TONIGHT IS KIND OF SPECIAL ♪
YOU GUYS ARE FORGETTING
ALL THE GREAT TIMES
WE'VE HAD TOGETHER.
THINK ABOUT 'EM.
♪ LA-LA LA-LA, LA, LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA-LA, LA-LA,
LA-LA, LA, LA ♪
WHAT A GREAT CHRISTMAS
THIS IS GONNA BE.
I GOT MY MOM HER
FIRST SILK BLOUSE.
IT WAS ON SALE FOR $39.95,
ONLY THEY DIDN'T
HAVE IT IN HER SIZE,
SO THEY TOOK THE
ONE OFF THE MANNEQUIN
AND KNOCKED OFF 5 BUCKS.
THAT'S TERRIFIC, JO.
HOPE IT LOOKS AS GOOD ON
HER AS IT DID ON THE DUMMY.
HOW DO I LOOK?
OOH... LIKE A GIANT FURBALL.
MR. ZIMMER WILL
FIX THE THERMOSTAT
AS SOON AS HE GETS THROUGH
BREAKING SOMETHING ELSE.
LOOK, A LITTLE SUFFERING
IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
FORGET IT, NATALIE.
SUFFERING IS A WORD
UNKNOWN TO THE WARNER CLAN.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
HAPPENS TO BE TRUE, BUT
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU, BLAIR.
I'VE SEEN YOU UNDER FIRE.
ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT
ANY GOOD IN A CRISIS?
OH, TO YOU, A CRISIS IS
RUNNING OUT OF OIL OF OLAY.
YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED TO KNOW
I'VE BEEN OBSERVING YOU LATELY.
OH, THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.
I SEE A SMUG,
SELF-RIGHTEOUS KNOW-IT-ALL
WHO WEARS HER HUMBLE BEGINNINGS
LIKE A CROWN.
WELL, AT LEAST THERE'S
SOMETHING HUMBLE ABOUT ME.
THERE ISN'T A HUMBLE
HAIR ON YOUR HEAD.
YOU LEAVE MY HAIR OUT OF THIS.
GLADLY.
I'VE HAD YOUR
HAIR UP TO MY EARS.
CAN WE PLEASE STUDY?
GOSH, TOOTIE AND I BOTH
HAVE BIG TESTS ON MONDAY.
GIVE ME THE BLANKET. SCOOT.
I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT.
DO WHAT?
SIGH.
I DON'T SIGH.
WELL, IF IT WASN'T A SIGH,
YOU GOT A SLOW LEAK.
2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
TO THE SIDE. 1, 2, 3.
COME ON, NAT.
THE OTHER WAY NOW. COME ON.
3, 4. UP, 2, 3, 4.
THANK YOU, JANE FONDA.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS.
WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE AT OUR PEAK,
AND HERE YOU ARE
HUFFING AND PUFFING
FROM A LITTLE EXERCISE
WHILE MRS. GARRETT'S
OUT JOGGING 2 MILES A DAY.
YEAH. SHAME ON YOU.
PEOPLE LIKE MRS. GARRETT
JOG BECAUSE THEY'RE TRYING
DESPERATELY TO STAY YOUNG.
WE ARE YOUNG, SO WHO
NEEDS THIS GARBAGE?
I'M GONNA LET OFF SOME STEAM.
FORGET IT.
A PILLOW FIGHT WOULDN'T
MAKE A DENT IN MY TENSION.
BE SMART, TOOTIE.
THERE GOES SOME STEAM.
TOOTIE!
AND A LITTLE MORE STEAM.
TOOTIE, IF YOU HIT ME WITH THAT,
I'M GONNA LAY YOU OUT.
THAT'S ALL.
I'M SORRY, WHAT
SHOULD I HAVE DONE?
YOU SHOULD... WHAT IS SO FUNNY?
TOOTIE!
WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF?
NOW WE'VE ALREADY LOST 2 HOURS
'CAUSE OF TOOTIE, AND NATALIE...
HA HA HA HA HA!
AND NATALIE WHAT?
NICE HAT.
MY EXAM HAT?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
OH, GOOD, GOOD!
I'M LOSING A BOLT. I'M
WORKING AT HALF WATTAGE.
I'M SORRY.
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
REALLY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I KNOW.
MAY I?
FORGIVE ME.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I KNOW.
OH, BLAIR.
NO HARD FEELINGS.
DON'T WORRY...
IT'S DESIGNER PAINT.
I BETTER WARN YOU,
I'M A FENCING ARTIST.
OH, HOLY... WAIT, NO.
ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M A CON ARTIST.
YOU SNEAK!
HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
HOLD IT!
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
YOU GUYS ARE MAKING A MESS.
SHOW SOME DECORUM.
OKAY, REMEMBER SOMETHING!
TOOTIE... TOOTIE...
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, TOOTIE.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING?
WAS I GOING SOMEWHERE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE
SHOULD DO WITH HER?
OHH.
WELL, THAT'S ABOUT IT.
FINALLY.
LET'S GET THIS STUFF
INTO THE STOREROOM.
THE PAINTERS ARE HERE.
I'VE WARNED YOU
THIS WOULD HAPPEN!
I... I... OH, GOOD,
YOU'RE READY.
COME ON. I'VE GOT
JUST ENOUGH TIME
TO GET JEFFY CHECKED
INTO THE AIRPORT.
THEY INSIST ON TREATING
HIM LIKE BAGGAGE.
WAIT!
WHAT?
WE PACKED SO FAST
EVERYTHING'S MIXED UP.
THIS IS BLAIR'S BOX,
BUT THERE'S SOME
OF JO'S STUFF IN IT.
I KNOW. I SMELL THE PENNZOIL.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
YEAH.
WE'LL STRAIGHTEN IT OUT
WHEN WE COME BACK NEXT FALL.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE
FUN IN MANAGIN' ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR IT
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOT TO DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE
IT THROUGH WITHOUT ♪
♪ THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
TOOTIE, WILL YOU GET
MORRIS OUT OF HERE?
I THINK HE ATE AN
IMPORTANT PART.
HE DID NOT, AND YOU
KNOW HIS NAME IS JEFFY
BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND
JEFF GAVE YOU TO ME,
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
I HATE PEOPLE WHO TALK TO CATS.
GIRLS, I TOLD YOU THE
PAINTERS ARE DUE ANY MINUTE.
STRIP YOUR BEDS.
EVERYTHING OFF THE
WALLS. EMPTY THE CLOSETS.
I...
GET THAT CAT AWAY FROM ME.
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
RIGHT AFTER JEFFY'S
HAD HIS LUNCH.
WELL, GET THAT LUNCH TO GO,
AND GET JEFFY TO GO WITH IT.
YOU WANT A THRILL, MRS. GARRETT?
MY BROCHURE CAME TODAY.
OH, TRUMAN CAPOTE'S
CREATIVE WRITING CAMP.
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY HAVE
THE CREDENTIALS FOR IT, NATALIE.
YEAH, 400 BUCKS.
ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO CAMP?
OH, IT'S NOT A CAMP.
THEY JUST CALL IT A CAMP.
WELL, THEY'VE GOT CANOEING.
WE AREN'T JUST PADDLING
AROUND OUT THERE.
WE'RE EXCHANGING CONCEPTS.
THEY'VE GOT ARCHERY.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT, MRS. GARRETT?
WELL, JO, HOW'S THE
REBUILDING JOB COMING?
WELL, IT'S ALMOST FINISHED
EXCEPT FOR THE CARBURETOR,
AND WITH THE MONEY I'LL MAKE,
I'M TAKING MY MOM ON HER
FIRST VACATION IN 2 YEARS.
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PEACH PUMPS?
WELL, UH, IF YOU'D
CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET,
MAYBE YOU'D FIND THEM.
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING
THIS SUMMER, BLAIR?
WHO CAN THINK PAST JUNE?
I'M EITHER BRIDESMAID OR
MAID OF HONOR IN 5 WEDDINGS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
EVERYONE INSISTS ON ME.
WHO ELSE CAN AFFORD
TO BUY 5 DRESSES
THEY'LL NEVER WEAR AGAIN?
OKAY, MY PERSIMMON PUMPS,
MY LIME PUMPS, MY PLUM PUMPS.
THIS IS HORRIBLE!
WHY, ARE THEY STARTING TO ROT?
PLEASE, I CAN'T FIND
MY PEACH PUMPS.
I WON'T MATCH.
AND JOHN DELOREAN
THINKS HE HAS PROBLEMS.
WELL, I GOTTA RUN TO CYCLE CITY.
IF THEY DON'T HAVE THE
RIGHT VALVE LIFTER, I'M DEAD.
AND JOHN DELOREAN
THINKS HE HAS PROBLEMS.
OH, JO, COULD YOU POSSIBLY
DROP BY THE BRIDAL SHOP
ON YOUR WAY HOME AND
PICK UP MY PEACH ORGANZA?
OH... THAT'S A DRESS.
YEAH, I GUESS.
OH, LISTEN, COULD
YOU TAKE MY CAR
INSTEAD OF YOUR BIKE?
I DON'T WANNA GET DEAD
BUGS ALL OVER MY DRESS.
WHAT A KICK!
WILL YOU LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF
THAT'S ACCUMULATED
IN THIS TRUNK?
OH, ONE OF MY
HARVEST QUEEN CROWNS.
ARE MY PEACH PUMPS IN THERE?
UH, NO.
OH, BUT LOOK AT THIS, BLAIR.
MY FIRST PUBLISHED ARTICLE...
AN EIGHTH GRADER GETS ANGRY.
ALL OUR YEARBOOKS AND SOUVENIRS.
REMEMBER THESE?
DO I?
TOOTIE'S FIRST YEAR,
SHE NEVER TOOK THEM OFF.
MRS. GARRETT, COME QUICK!
THE PIG IS LOOSE ON THE BUS!
OH, DON'T GET SO
EXCITED, TOOTIE.
HE CAN'T DRIVE A STICK SHIFT.
♪ TUT-TUT, TOOTIE, GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ TUT-TUT, TOOTIE, DON'T CRY ♪
TOOTIE.
DITTOS ARE NOT SATISFACTORY.
DITTOS DON'T SLICE IT, HUH?
HAVE YOU DECIDED
WHAT YOU WANT TO BE
WHEN YOU GRADUATE FROM
EASTLAND AND GO TO COLLEGE?
OH, I'M NOT GOING TO
COLLEGE, MR. BRADLEY.
RIGHT, NAT? RIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT?
NO. WE'RE BOTH GONNA STUDY
WITH VIDAL SASSOON
TO LEARN ADVANCED SASSOONING.
TOOTIE...
I WANT YOU TO HAVE
THIS TO REMEMBER ME BY.
OH, NAT!
THE WIG YOUR MOM
GAVE US TO PRACTICE ON.
GEE, WHAT A FRIEND.
YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS
WANTED TO KNOW
WHAT IT WAS LIKE
TO BE... A BLONDE.
TOOTIE...
YOU WILL KEEP MY
SECRET, WON'T YOU?
YOU KNOW ME.
I SURE DO.
EVERYTHING I TELL YOU
GOES IN ONE EAR
AND OUT YOUR MOUTH.
BLAIR, DON'T WORRY.
I JUST HOPE I DON'T
TALK IN MY SLEEP.
EXACTLY WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU
SHUT UP IN YOUR SLEEP?
OH, IF I WEREN'T UNDER
SO MUCH PRESSURE.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT PRESSURE?
WELL, I GOTTA MAKE
MY BED EVERY DAY.
OKAY, I'LL MAKE YOUR BED.
AND CLEAN MY ROOM EVERY DAY.
ALL RIGHT.
AND PRESS MY UNI...
ALL RIGHT, TOOTIE,
AND THAT'S IT!
THIS IS TOO MUCH.
HAVING A WHITE MAID.
I WONDER WHAT IT'S
LIKE TO BE IN THE GROUP.
IT'S PROBABLY LIKE WALKING
INTO SOME SNOOTY COUNTRY CLUB.
"HOW ARE YOU, TUMPY?"
"JUST FINE, POOPY."
"DO YOU KNOW BIPPY
AND DIPPY AND SNITZY?"
"OH, YES, THEY'RE FUN PEOPLE."
I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
HIT THE WALL OF PAIN?
MORE LIKE THE WAILING WALL.
SUE ANN... SHE SHOULD BE
ARRESTED FOR VANDALISM.
YEAH, DEFACING A
NATIONAL TREASURE.
MAYBE IF I PUT THIS ON,
NOBODY WOULD NOTICE.
TOOTIE...
THIS COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE
THE LIST OF IQ SCORES, COULD IT?
NO, MRS. GARRETT. NOT POSSIBLY.
DEFINITELY.
TOOTIE, IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU THINK YOU
SHOULD DO ABOUT THIS?
YEAH. MAKE A BREAK FOR IT.
OKAY... LET'S GO TO
MR. BRADLEY'S OFFICE.
ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
I'LL ROLL YOU DOWN
THAT LAST MILE.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
LAUGHING ABOUT?
YOU IN YOUR FIRST
YEAR. REMEMBER?
MY SKATES!
BOY, MY FEET HAVE GROWN.
NATALIE, WOULD YOU PUT
JEFFY IN HIS TRAVEL TOTE?
SURE. THANKS.
OH!
LOOK AT MY FIRST
YEARBOOK PICTURE.
"BLAIR HAS GRACE, BEAUTY,
AND A NATURAL TALENT
FOR LEADERSHIP."
EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT.
THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED.
WHAT HAPPENED?
IS THIS WHERE I'M
SUPPOSED TO CHECK IN?
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU DON'T? I WAS GONNA
ASK HIM TO THE FALL DANCE.
OOH!
HI.
I'M MRS. GARRETT,
THE SCHOOL DIETICIAN.
YOU MUST BE... JO,
THE NEW STUDENT.
RIGHT. HOW'D YOU KNOW?
EASY. I'VE NEVER
SEEN A MOTORCYCLE
PARKED IN MY FLOWERBED BEFORE.
OH, I THOUGHT THEY WERE WEEDS.
I CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE
THE ONE THEY PUT ME WITH.
JOANN PALL-NIA-ZECK.
I HOPE SHE BRINGS
ALONG AN INTERPRETER
TO HELP ME WITH THAT NAME.
IT'S POLNIACZEK.
YOU?
AND I GOT YOUR
INTERPRETER RIGHT HERE.
NOBODY JOKES ABOUT MY NAME.
YOU KNOW, THEY
REALLY DON'T HAVE TO.
THERE'S ENOUGH LAUGHS
IN THE WAY YOU ACT.
WOULD YOU GIRLS CARE
FOR A BOWL OF MEOW MIX?
NATALIE, SHOW JO A BETTER PLACE
TO PARK HER MOTORCYCLE, HUH?
WHY DON'T I JUST PARK
IT ON BLAIR'S FACE?
SHE'S A BREATH OF
FRESH AIR, ISN'T SHE?
SO, I HOPE YOU'RE GONNA STAY.
I'M SURE WE'LL MAKE
GREAT ROOMMATES.
SO GARRETT'S BEEN
WORKING ON YOU, HUH?
OK, MRS. GARRETT DID SAY
A FEW WORDS IN PASSING,
BUT IT WAS ONLY TO REMIND
ME OF THAT EASTLAND SPIRIT.
AND WHAT'S THAT?
SLUMMING BUILDS CHARACTER?
NO, IT'S HONESTY.
LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING
YOU'RE MY IDEA
OF THE PERFECT ROOMMATE.
THAT WOULD BE PRINCE CHARLES.
YEAH?
WELL, YOU DON'T WIN
ANY POPULARITY CONTESTS
WITH ME NEITHER.
GOOD. I SEE WE
AGREE ON SOMETHING.
YEAH, THAT AND I'M
WEARING LAST YEAR'S JEANS.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT REMARK.
I ADMIT I SOMETIMES DO PAY
A BIT TOO MUCH
ATTENTION TO FASHION.
ME NOT ENOUGH.
HOW ABOUT IT?
WANT TO TRY BUNKING
TOGETHER FOR A WHILE?
WELL, IT WOULDN'T KILL ME.
OK.
MY JEANS ARE KIND
OF OLD AND RIPPED.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
MY JORDACHES ARE YOUR JORDACHES.
OH, THANKS!
YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T
MIND ME TAKING THEM IN?
FORTUNATELY FOR YOU,
WE DON'T MOVE IN
THE SAME CIRCLES,
OR I COULD SHOW
YOU WHICH ONE OF US
A REAL MAN WOULD GO FOR.
OH, IT'D BE EASY
TO SHOW HER, BLAIR,
AT THE CHUG-A-LUG
BAR ON THE HIGHWAY.
IT'S JUST LOADED
WITH COLLEGE GUYS.
PERFECT.
THANKS, TOOTIE.
DON'T MENTION IT.
LISTEN, I'D GO IN A MINUTE,
BUT WE CAN'T GET INTO THE BAR.
WE'RE BOTH UNDERAGE,
AND THEY ASK FOR I.D.s.
SO, WE'LL GIVE THEM I.D.s.
YOU'RE NOT 18.
THAT I.D. IS FAKED.
YEAH. I DO BEAUTIFUL
WORK, DON'T I?
AND I ALWAYS CARRY A SPARE.
THAT I CAN FAKE FOR YOU.
ALLS I NEED IS A
PICTURE. IT'S SIMPLE.
SIMPLE FOR YOU, BUT...
MY GOODNESS, WHICH
PICTURE WILL I USE?
THIS ONE'S NICE.
I'M SMILING WITHOUT
BEING TOO TOOTHY.
OH, THIS ONE'S AT THE HEIGHT
OF MY TAN, COCONUT OIL.
NO, NO, NO, THIS
IS IT. THIS IS IT.
I'M WEARING SIZZLING
PINK LIP QUENCHER.
I DON'T KNOW. THIS ONE'S
PRETTY MARVELOUS...
WHO CARES?
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
YOU GOT US INTO THIS.
BLOW IT OUT YOUR GUCCI BAG.
JUST SIT DOWN AND COOL IT, HUH?
THIS IS NO BIG DEAL.
NO BIG DEAL?
WE'RE LOCKED UP LIKE
COMMON CRIMINALS
AND YOU SAY IT'S NO BIG DEAL?
MY LIFE IS RUINED.
THEY'LL NEVER LET ME SET FOOT
IN MARTHA'S VINEYARD AGAIN.
MY MOM'S GONNA
HAVE A HEART ATTACK,
A QUADRUPLE BYPASS.
SHE'LL BE IN INTENSIVE
CARE FOR 12 YEARS.
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA DISOWN ME.
"THAT LITTLE BLACK
KID? NO, SHE AIN'T OURS."
I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
I CAN'T STAND BEING
CLOSED IN LIKE THIS.
LET ME OUT!
BLAIR, WE'VE ONLY BEEN
IN HERE FOR 45 MINUTES.
BOY, JO'S REALLY CHANGED
SINCE THEN, HASN'T SHE?
UH, BLAIR, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEE
WHAT'S UNDER JO'S BED.
WHAT? A DUST BUNNY
THE SIZE OF SCHENECTADY?
DO DUST BUNNIES COME IN PEACH?
MY PUMPS!
OH, OF COURSE!
I PUT THEM UNDER HERE
WHEN I RAN OUT OF SPACE.
WAIT. WAIT.
I GOT IT.
OH...
JO'S BEEN WORKING ON
THAT ENGINE FOR 2 WEEKS.
OH, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL PICK UP THE PIECES.
NOT THE ONES THAT FELL
THROUGH THE HEATING VENT.
THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE.
OK, THIS LITTLE SQUIGGLY THING
GOES RIGHT IN HERE IN
THIS LITTLE RUBBER THING.
AND THIS LITTLE SPRINGY THING
GOES RIGHT OVER HERE
WITH THE OILY THING.
RIGHT?
AH, JO'S NOT GONNA NOTICE
THAT A FEW OF THE PIECES
ARE A TINY BIT MIXED UP.
DREAM ON.
SO, YOU'RE SAYING SHE'LL NOTICE?
YES, AND WHEN SHE DOES,
THERE'LL BE PARTS OF YOU
DOWN THE HEATING VENT.
NOT NECESSARILY.
JO CAN BE VERY REASONABLE.
LIKE WHEN?
NO... TOOTIE'S RIGHT.
THERE'S REALLY
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
UNLESS JO ACTS LIKE
SHE USUALLY DOES.
A RING!
IS THIS AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
STAND BACK. I'M IDENTIFYING.
THAT'S NOT AN ENGAGEMENT RING.
AN ENGAGEMENT RING
HAS A DIAMOND IN IT.
IT'S GOT A DIAMOND IN IT.
MAYBE IT WOULD HELP TO
BRING IT A LITTLE CLOSER.
OF COURSE. NOW I SEE IT.
LOVELY.
UH, JO, WILL YOU GET
THAT BAG FOR ME, PLEASE?
SURE, SURE.
THERE YOU GO.
WELL, I'M NOT AFRAID OF HER.
OW!
HEY, BLAIR, LISTEN.
HEY, I MAY NOT RESPECT
YOU, BUT I RESPECT YOUR TURF.
YOU WANT HIM, YOU GOT
HIM. I WON'T TAKE YOUR GUY.
TAKE MY GUY?
LISTEN, WHEN IT COMES TO MEN,
THE ONLY THING YOU COULD
TAKE FROM ME IS LESSONS.
JUST DON'T START WITH ME.
I SAID I'M NOT GOING.
I'M TRYING TO BE NICE.
SHE IS, BLAIR. SHE REALLY IS.
OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT GOING.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE
OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.
YOU WOULDN'T SUBJECT YOURSELF
TO THAT KIND OF HUMILIATION.
WHAT HUMILIATION?
WHEN YOU DRINK OUT
OF THE FINGER BOWL
AND PUT KETCHUP ON YOUR QUICHE.
YOU'VE GOT NO BUSINESS
AT THAT COTILLION,
AND YOU KNOW IT.
I'VE GOT AS MUCH
BUSINESS THERE AS YOU DO,
AND I GOT MORE... I WAS ASKED.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I AM GOING WITH YOUR FRIEND,
SO EAT YOUR HEART OUT.
AND DON'T FORGET
TO PUT KETCHUP ON IT.
WHAT'S THIS?
NAILS, BOARDS, CHICKEN WIRE?
I'M SETTING A TRAP
TO TAKE CARE OF OUR
FURRY LITTLE FRIEND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "TAKE CARE OF"?
WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN?
JO, YOU CAN'T HURT THAT
CUTE LITTLE SQUIRREL.
DON'T YOU KNOW HE'S ONE OF...
ONE OF GOD'S CREATURES?
BUT HE'S ON MY TURF.
I DON'T GO INTO HIS FOREST.
FACE IT, HE BOUGHT IT
THE MINUTE HE CROSSED
MY WINDOW LEDGE.
ORDER, BLAIR.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
HERE'S A PICTURE OF A HAMBURGER,
AND IT'S GREEN.
CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT
THE REAL THING'S LIKE?
OH, MY WORD.
WHAT?
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHAT?
THERE'S A HAIR IN MY MENU.
NOT ANYMORE. ORDER.
I'LL THANK YOU NOT TO TAKE
THAT TONE WITH MY FRIEND.
SHE'LL TAKE WHATEVER TONE
SHE WANTS WITH YOUR FRIEND.
HOW DéCLASSé.
OH... THAT MEANS "LOW."
IN YOUR EAR.
THAT MEANS "IN YOUR EAR."
LITTLE WORDS FOR LITTLE MINDS.
AND JUST WHOSE MIND
ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE,
MUFFIN HEAD?
HERS. AND DON'T
YOU CALL ME NAMES,
YOU GRUNGY GREASE MONKEY.
I NEED A CLOCK.
MRS. GARRETT, I'M
TAKING YOUR EGG TIMER.
OKAY.
JO, WAIT!
AND A FUSE. I NEED A FUSE.
OH, GOOD, AND I'LL
MIX UP SOME STUFF
IN THE SCIENCE LAB.
WHAT ARE YOU MAKING, A BOMB?
YES! YES! WHAT?!
I'M GONNA ROLL IT
THROUGH THEIR FRONT DOOR
AND THEN POW! BOY, POW!
DEAD KAWASAKIS
ALL OVER THE STREET!
ARE THERE ANY MORE LITTLE
SQUIGGLY THINGS ON THE FLOOR?
TOO LATE, BLAIR.
YOUR CAR'S ALREADY BACK.
THAT MEANS JO'S BACK.
HI!
HI.
YOUR PEACH ORGANZA.
ISN'T IT LOVELY?
WHO CARES? WHERE'S JO?
BLAIR!
HI, GUYS.
HI, JO. HI, JO.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS... OH!
I FOUND MY PEACH PUMPS.
ISN'T THAT GOOD NEWS?
UNFORTUNATELY...
WHILE I WAS GETTING THEM
OUT FROM UNDER YOUR BED,
I, UM... I, UH...
SPIT IT OUT, BLAIR.
WELL... YOUR ENGINE
SORT OF ROLLED OFF,
AND THERE WERE LITTLE
MECHANICAL THINGS
ALL OVER THE FLOOR.
WHAT?
NOW, JO, I'M SURE
BLAIR DIDN'T MEAN IT.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT, MRS. G.
NO BIG DEAL.
JO, DID YOU FIND GOD
ON THE WAY HOME?
NO. IT JUST DOESN'T HELP
THINGS TO GET UPSET.
ONE OTHER LITTLE THING.
A FEW OF THE PIECES
MAY BE A BIT HARD TO FIND...
THE ONES THAT FELL DOWN
INTO THE HEATING VENT.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
OH, WELL, IT'S OK.
WE'LL SIMPLY BUY
YOU A NEW ENGINE.
NO, WE WON'T. YES, WE WILL.
NO, WE WON'T. I INSIST.
NOW, HERE IS A BLANK CHECK.
YOU JUST FILL IN THE AMOUNT.
BAD MOVE, BLAIR.
THAT'S STILL YOUR ANSWER
TO EVERY PROBLEM...
THROW MONEY AT IT.
WELL, DON'T TRY THAT WITH ME.
WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE SO UNGRATEFUL.
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO ACT.
YOU NEVER HAD TO WORK
FOR ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.
YOU CAN'T EVEN BE
GRACIOUS ENOUGH
TO LET ME PAY FOR
MY OWN MISTAKE.
YOU HAVE TO GET
MEAN AND INSULTING.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU
DIDN'T MISS THE POINT.
HERE.
MY DRESS!
IT'S RUINED.
YOU DROPPED IT ON THAT
OILY ENGINE ON PURPOSE!
I DID NOT.
YOU DID TOO.
OK, YOU GOT YOUR REVENGE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
OH, BLAIR, THE
DRESS CAN BE FIXED.
WHAT'S MUCH MORE
IMPORTANT IS YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
WHAT FRIENDSHIP?
I EXPECT MORE OUT OF A FRIEND
THAN A BIG, FAT CHECKBOOK.
AND I EXPECT MORE THAN
AN ILL-MANNERED BULLY.
GREAT.
THEN I WON'T HAVE TO FAKE
BEING FRIENDS NEXT YEAR.
I'M MOVING OUT.
HERE, BLAIR.
YOU'RE A MAID OF HONOR AGAIN.
OH, YOU GOT THE STAIN OUT!
THANKS, MRS. GARRETT. SURE.
WELL...
WELL, WELL, WELL,
WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.
NOW THAT YOUR DRESS IS FIXED
AND JO'S GETTING HER
ENGINE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN
AND, UH... WE'RE ALL RELAXED...
OH, I THINK WE MIGHT
FORGET ANY HARSH WORDS
THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SAID...
NO WAY. FORGET IT.
WE'LL TALK AGAIN SOON.
COME ON, GUYS.
IT CAN'T END THIS WAY.
YEAH, OVER ONE LITTLE SPAT?
ADMIT IT... YOU TWO
LOVE TO MIX IT UP.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
YOUR FINEST HOURS
HAVE BEEN SPENT AT
EACH OTHER'S THROATS.
HEY, TOOTIE, YOU LEFT YOUR
SKETCHBOOK IN THE LIBRARY.
OH, THANKS.
WHAT WERE YOU
DOING IN THE LIBRARY?
READING DUMBO?
I DON'T HAVE TO READ DUMBO.
I BUNK NEXT TO HER.
GUESS WHAT WE JUST DUG UP
OUT OF OUR SOLAR GREENHOUSE.
YOUR FACE?
IT'S A BOK CHOY.
CHINESE CABBAGE.
WELL, E-I-E-I-O.
BOY, HE STUCK TO ME
LIKE FLIES ON A NO-PEST STRIP.
THE ONLY WAY I
COULD GET RID OF HIM
WAS TO SAY I'D GO OUT WITH HIM.
YOU MEAN HARRISON
ASKED YOU OUT ON A...
"DATE," BLAIR. WE
CALL IT A "DATE."
YEAH, THERE'S SOME
WINGDING TOMORROW NIGHT.
COULD THAT BE YOUR
WINGDING, BLAIR?
I DON'T GO TO WINGDINGS.
I GO TO COTILLIONS.
WELL, IF THAT'S A DANCE AT
THE HIGHCREST COUNTRY CLUB,
YOUR COTILLION AND MY
WINGDING ARE THE SAME THING.
REALLY, MRS. GARRETT,
IF I DON'T SPEND
SOME MONEY SOON,
I'LL PULL ALL MY HAIR OUT.
OH, TERRIFIC.
WE CAN FINALLY FIND OUT
WHAT COLOR THE ROOTS ARE.
NAT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
IF YOU LIKE THE GUY,
GRAB HIM AND TELL HIM HE
DRIVES YOU OUT OF YOUR TREE.
YOU'RE SUCH A SIMPLE LIFE FORM.
HEY, JO, WHY DON'T YOU TRY
OUT FOR SOMETHING THIS YEAR?
NO WAY.
I'M NOT GONNA STAND UP HERE
AND MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF.
BUT YOU DO IT SO WELL.
AH! AH!
OH, YOU LOOK FABULOUS!
OH... I JUST LOVE THAT SWEATER.
OH, I WOULD KILL...
WE'RE TALKING MURDER
ONE... FOR THAT HAIR.
I THINK I JUST STUMBLED INTO A
FARRAH FAWCETT CONVENTION.
OH, UH, DINA, THIS IS JO.
SHE'S, UH... A
SCHOOLMATE OF MINE.
IS SHE REALLY?
DINA BECKER.
SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
LIKEWISE.
THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
YOU GOT TO SEE WITH
YOUR OWN EYES TO BELIEVE.
YEAH, DINA AND BLAIR...
THE DIMWITS OF BONWITS.
TRUE.
MY FRIENDS ARE MORE AT
HOME IN STORES THAN IN SEWERS.
YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?
IF THE MANHOLE COVER FITS...
HEY, WE'RE TRYING TO
SETTLE AN ARGUMENT HERE,
NOT START A NEW ONE.
WILL YOU TWO BUG OFF?
NO, WE WON'T.
YOU TWO COULD LEARN A LOT
FROM US TWO, RIGHT, TOOT?
RIGHT, NAT.
WE MAY BE YOUNG,
BUT OUR RELATIONSHIP
HAS ALWAYS BEEN MATURE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TOOTIE, WOULD YOU STOP?
TOOTIE... AAH! OH, MY GOD.
TOOTIE, WAIT. STOP.
OKAY. TOOTIE, WAIT. STOP!
♪ CELEBRATE GOOD
TIMES, COME ON ♪
TOOTIE.
♪ CELEBRATE GOOD
TIMES, COME ON ♪
TOOTIE!
HEY, NATALIE,
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
NO PROBLEM IF MY TEST
WAS ON KOOL & THE GANG.
IF YOU'RE REFERRING
TO MY SINGING,
IT HELPS ME THINK.
♪ CEL... ♪
IF YOU DON'T PUT
THAT THING AWAY,
I'M GONNA SIT ON YOUR NECK.
I HATE THAT HAT.
THIS IS MY EXAM HAT.
I WEAR IT TWICE A
YEAR EVERY YEAR.
YOU KNOW THAT.
I STILL HATE IT.
DO I HAVE TO GO OVER THIS AGAIN?
THESE ARE MY
BRAIN-WAVE CONDUCTORS,
AND WHEN THE
WINDOW IS OPEN, I GET...
DO YOU TWO MIND?
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAY ♪♪
I'M GONNA GET IT FOR SURE.
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ I'M GONNA WASH THAT
MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR ♪
♪ AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAY ♪
♪ SOME ENCHANTED EVENING ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FIND YOUR TRUE LOVE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FEEL HIM CALL
YOU ACROSS A CROWDED ROOM ♪
♪ THEN FLY TO HIS SIDE ♪
♪ AND MAKE HIM YOUR OWN ♪
WHOOPS, THEY DROPPED.
AAH, LIGHTS! TOOTIE, LIGHTS!
WHAT IS IT?
SOMETHING JUST
CRAWLED UP MY LEG.
WISHFUL THINKING.
GO TO SLEEP.
NO, TOOTIE, I SAW IT.
SOMETHING HUGE, LIKE
A RACCOON OR A RAT.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
I SAW IT JUMP OFF MY BED AND
SCAMPER ACROSS THE ROOM.
WE'RE BEING OVERRUN.
IT'S THE DAY OF THE ANIMALS.
TAKE IT EASY.
IT'S PROBABLY JUST A
CUTE LITTLE SQUIRREL.
THEY'RE ALWAYS RUNNING
AROUND THE YARD.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
NATALIE! HEY, RELAX.
IF THERE IS A SQUIRREL IN HERE,
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS
LEAVE THE WINDOW OPEN.
HE'LL FIND HIS WAY OUT AGAIN.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH. MOVE OVER.
WHAT?! THERE'S NO ROOM!
I DON'T WANT A
HIDEOUS CREATURE...
AAH! GOD'S CREATURE.
GREAT. I DON'T WANT
ONE OF GOD'S CREATURES
HIBERNATING IN MY NIGHTIE.
NOW MOVE OVER.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
PASS THIS ALGEBRA TEST
IF I'M PLAYING NANNY ALL NIGHT?
DID YOU CHECK IT TO MAKE SURE
IT'S THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE?
TRUST ME, IT'S FINE.
NO!
YOU HAVE TO TEST
IT ON YOUR WRIST,
OR YOU MIGHT BURN
LITTLE EMILY'S TONGUE.
I'M TALKING ABOUT
BEING PREJUDICED
WITH SOMEONE WHO'S BLACK.
BUT I COULDN'T HAVE
THIS CONVERSATION
WITH ANYBODY BUT YOU.
YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND.
YOU KNOW... I NEVER THINK...
"MY BEST FRIEND IS WHITE."
I JUST KNOW MY BEST
FRIEND IS NATALIE.
SEE, WE'VE SAILED
ROUGH WATERS, TOO,
BUT WE'VE ALWAYS MANAGED
TO STAY AFLOAT, RIGHT, TOOT?
RIGHT. JUST
BOB-BOB-BOBBING ALONG.
I'M GETTING SEASICK.
COME ON, JO.
BLAIR.
DUMB, REALLY DUMB.
NATALIE... JEFFY ISN'T
IN HIS TRAVEL TOTE.
DIDN'T YOU LOCK IT?
I THOUGHT I DID.
HE'S NOT IN THE BATHROOM.
HE'S NOT IN THE CLOSET.
I DON'T SEE HIM
ANYWHERE! JEFFY?! JEFFY?!
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER
ONCE, IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD,
THEY WERE BUILDING THIS THEATER,
AND THERE WAS THIS CAT
THAT KEPT HANGING AROUND,
AND WHEN THEY FINALLY
FINISHED PLASTERING,
WE HEARD MEOWING COMING
FROM INSIDE THE WALLS.
NO.
TOOK WEEKS BEFORE
IT FINALLY STOPPED.
JEFFY'S TRAPPED IN
ONE OF THESE BOXES!
JEFFY?! JEFFY?!
OH, THE GUILT!
WE CALLED IT THE
PUSSYCAT THEATER.
WAIT.
I THINK I HEAR HIM GASPING.
WHO... WHO LET THIS CAT OUT?
WHAT A HORRIBLE MESS.
YEAH. THINK THIS GIANT
CATERPILLAR BELONGS TO YOU.
CAREFUL. THAT'S ANGORA.
IT'S GETTING FUZZ IN MY VALVES.
FORGET YOUR VALVES
AND YOUR SWEATERS.
WE GOTTA REPACK
ALL THIS STUFF FAST.
OH, I JUST KNEW THIS
WAS GONNA HAPPEN!
I ASKED NATALIE TO DO
ME ONE LOUSY FAVOR...
TO PUT JEFFY IN HIS CAGE.
BUT DOES SHE COME
THROUGH FOR ME?
NO!
I DON'T COME THROUGH FOR YOU?
WHAT ABOUT ALL THE TIMES I
FED JEFFY AND DEFLEAED JEFFY
AND LED
SEARCH-AND-DESTROY MISSIONS
THROUGH JEFFY'S KITTY LITTER?
I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE
WITH JEFFY AND HIS OWNER!
STOP IT. STOP IT!
YOU GIRLS AREN'T GONNA
LET THESE PETTY ARGUMENTS
RUIN 5 YEARS OF
WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIP.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST BE HONEST, HUH?
OH, YOU KNOW YOU
WANT TO TELL EACH OTHER,
"I'M SORRY I LOST MY TEMPER,
"AND I... AND I DON'T WANT
TO GO AWAY FOR THE SUMMER
MAD AT MY FRIEND."
SO, GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
SAY IT.
AH, I CAN SEE YOU
WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
AH, BUT THEN... WHO
AM I TO GIVE ADVICE?
IS SHE KIDDING?
LOOK AT ME. I'M A MESS.
CAN I HANG OUT HERE WITH
YOU TILL THE GIRLS GO TO SLEEP?
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO
EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED.
WHAT A JOKE.
YOU KNOW, MRS. GARRETT,
I HAD THIS CRAZY IDEA ABOUT
HOW A COTILLION WOULD BE.
ALL THE GUYS WOULD
ASK ME TO DANCE,
AND EVERYONE
WOULD BE WHISPERING,
"WHO'S THAT CLASSY GIRL?
WHERE'D SHE COME FROM?"
AND I'D BE TREATED
LIKE I BELONGED THERE.
I WANTED TO MAKE
YOU PROUD OF ME.
OH, I AM PROUD OF YOU.
HARRISON PUT YOU IN A
TERRIBLE POSITION TONIGHT.
I MEAN...
WHAT HE DID IS INEXCUSABLE.
AND YOU HANDLED IT WITH
SUCH DIGNITY, GRACE...
CLASS.
OF COURSE, PART OF ME
WISHES YOU'D HAULED OFF
AND HIT HIM WITH SOMETHING.
OH, I DID.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR OTHER SHOE.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
ALL THOSE LETTERS?
I WROTE THEM MYSELF.
YOU MEAN... YOU'RE
HUNKA-HUNKA-HUNKA?
YEAH.
BUT I HAD TO DO IT.
I MEAN, ALL THE OTHER
GIRLS SIT AROUND
TALKING ABOUT THEIR ROMANCES
AND HOW THEIR
INSIDES TURN TO MUSH.
WELL, MY INSIDES AREN'T MUSHY.
I'M NOT EVEN NEAR MUSH.
OH, THAT'S OK.
NO, IT'S NOT.
THE GIRLS THINK I'M GROWN UP.
THEY COULDN'T WAIT TO GET ME
UP TO COOPER'S ROCK WITH ZACK.
AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
COOPER'S ROCK HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH BEING GROWN UP.
THE GIRLS THINK IT DOES.
AND IF THEY KNEW
HOW I REALLY FEEL,
THEY'D TEASE ME
AND CALL ME A KID
AND MAKE JOKES
ABOUT MY HORMONES.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH YOUR HORMONES.
OH, I KNOW THERE ARE
KIDS OUT THERE YOUR AGE
SPLASHING AROUND
IN THE BLUE LAGOON,
BUT I THINK THERE'S
A LOT TO BE SAID
FOR TAKING THINGS SLOWLY
AND LEARNING TO
TREAD WATER FIRST.
BUT I FELT CORNERED.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
TOOTIE, WHAT YOU DO OR DON'T DO
IS NOBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS.
THERE'S NO TIMETABLE
WITH THESE THINGS.
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET ANYONE
BULLY YOU INTO TELLING LIES.
YOU DO WHAT YOU FEEL
IS RIGHT FOR YOU TO DO
AND YOU WON'T GO WRONG.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MRS. GARRETT?
WOW.
NOW, I KNOW YOU MIGHT
THINK IT'S CUT A BIT LOW
AND THE EYE SHADOW A BIT HEAVY,
BUT THIS IS THE
LOOK THAT'S SELLING.
OH, NO, NO, NO. I THINK IT'S
JUST RIGHT FOR YOU, BLAIR.
AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE EXPERT
ON TRICKS TO ATTRACT MEN.
I GUESS SO.
OH, GOLLY, I BET YOU COULD
HAVE ANY MAN YOU WANTED.
YEAH, PROBABLY.
AND I'LL BET YOU HAVE.
WHERE'D YOU HEAR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
OH, NO, IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS
YOU'VE BEEN AROUND.
NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN.
I DON'T DO THOSE KIND OF THINGS.
OH, COME ON, THE WAY
YOU GET YOURSELF UP.
YOU'RE SO
SOPHISTICATED, YOU SMOKE,
AND YOU TALK A GOOD GAME.
THAT'S JUST TALK.
HONEST.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...
"IF YOU'RE ADVERTISING,
YOU MUST BE SELLING."
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL.
YOU CAN ASK ANY GUY I'VE DATED.
I'M A TEASE.
NATALIE, REMEMBER
THE FACULTY SPOOF
AT EASTLAND LAST YEAR?
HOW COULD I FORGET?
I DID YOU.
YOU WERE SO FUNNY IN
THAT APRON AND THE RED WIG,
RUNNING AROUND
THE STAGE YELLING,
"EAT YOUR VEGGIES!
SMELL THE FLOWERS!"
"TALK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS."
YOUR FATHER LED
THE STANDING OVATION.
I REALLY NAILED YOU, DIDN'T I?
YEAH.
WELL...
YOU KNOW...
A FEW WEEKS AFTER
MY FATHER DIED,
SOME FRIENDS TOOK
ME TO THE MOVIES
TO SEE SOME LIKE IT HOT.
I LAUGHED FOR 2 HOURS.
AND THEN I WENT HOME
AND CRIED FOR 2 DAYS.
I MISSED MY DAD SO MUCH.
HOW COULD I HAVE
HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME?
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
BUT THEN I REALIZED
I WASN'T FORGETTING MY DAD
WHEN I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I WAS LETTING GO OF SOME
OF THE PAIN OF LOSING HIM.
NATALIE... IT'S OK.
THAT'S HOW WE GET
ON WITH OUR LIVES.
TONIGHT WE HAVE A
VERY SPECIAL GUEST.
YES. YES.
OH, MRS. GARRETT,
THAT MEANS YOU'LL
HAVE TO MISS THE MOVIE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'LL FIND SOMEONE
ELSE TO TAKE ME.
AND AFTER I FINISH STUDYING,
I'LL COME BACK AND
PLAY WITH EMILY.
WELL, WE'D BETTER GET READY, JO.
WE'RE RUNNING WAY
BEHIND SCHEDULE. COME ON.
FIND YOU A RIDE.
YOO-HOO!
JUST A SECOND.
UH, WHAT EXACTLY WERE YOU GIRLS
PLANNING TO DO ABOUT THE BABY?
DO?
I SAID I'D PLAY WITH HER
WHEN I FINISH STUDYING.
WELL, AS LONG AS
SHE'S IN OUR HOUSE,
SHE'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
ALL OF US.
INDIA HAD GANDHI, WE
HAVE MRS. GARRETT.
ARE YOU TWO STILL GIVING EACH
OTHER THE SILENT TREATMENT?
MRS. GARRETT'S RIGHT.
IT'S TIME TO MAKE UP.
I'VE COMPLETELY FORGIVEN TOOTIE.
THANKS, NATALIE.
LOOK, I'VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH,
BUT NOBODY'S LEAVING THIS ROOM
TILL WE SETTLE
THIS STUPID THING.
YEAH.
COME ON.
♪ HERE'S TO GOOD FRIENDS ♪
♪ TONIGHT IS KIND OF SPECIAL ♪
YOU GUYS ARE FORGETTING
ALL THE GREAT TIMES
WE'VE HAD TOGETHER.
THINK ABOUT 'EM.
♪ LA-LA LA-LA, LA, LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ LA, LA-LA, LA-LA,
LA-LA, LA, LA ♪
WHAT A GREAT CHRISTMAS
THIS IS GONNA BE.
I GOT MY MOM HER
FIRST SILK BLOUSE.
IT WAS ON SALE FOR $39.95,
ONLY THEY DIDN'T
HAVE IT IN HER SIZE,
SO THEY TOOK THE
ONE OFF THE MANNEQUIN
AND KNOCKED OFF 5 BUCKS.
THAT'S TERRIFIC, JO.
HOPE IT LOOKS AS GOOD ON
HER AS IT DID ON THE DUMMY.
HOW DO I LOOK?
OOH... LIKE A GIANT FURBALL.
MR. ZIMMER WILL
FIX THE THERMOSTAT
AS SOON AS HE GETS THROUGH
BREAKING SOMETHING ELSE.
LOOK, A LITTLE SUFFERING
IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
FORGET IT, NATALIE.
SUFFERING IS A WORD
UNKNOWN TO THE WARNER CLAN.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
HAPPENS TO BE TRUE, BUT
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU, BLAIR.
I'VE SEEN YOU UNDER FIRE.
ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT
ANY GOOD IN A CRISIS?
OH, TO YOU, A CRISIS IS
RUNNING OUT OF OIL OF OLAY.
YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED TO KNOW
I'VE BEEN OBSERVING YOU LATELY.
OH, THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.
I SEE A SMUG,
SELF-RIGHTEOUS KNOW-IT-ALL
WHO WEARS HER HUMBLE BEGINNINGS
LIKE A CROWN.
WELL, AT LEAST THERE'S
SOMETHING HUMBLE ABOUT ME.
THERE ISN'T A HUMBLE
HAIR ON YOUR HEAD.
YOU LEAVE MY HAIR OUT OF THIS.
GLADLY.
I'VE HAD YOUR
HAIR UP TO MY EARS.
CAN WE PLEASE STUDY?
GOSH, TOOTIE AND I BOTH
HAVE BIG TESTS ON MONDAY.
GIVE ME THE BLANKET. SCOOT.
I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT.
DO WHAT?
SIGH.
I DON'T SIGH.
WELL, IF IT WASN'T A SIGH,
YOU GOT A SLOW LEAK.
2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
TO THE SIDE. 1, 2, 3.
COME ON, NAT.
THE OTHER WAY NOW. COME ON.
3, 4. UP, 2, 3, 4.
THANK YOU, JANE FONDA.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS.
WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE AT OUR PEAK,
AND HERE YOU ARE
HUFFING AND PUFFING
FROM A LITTLE EXERCISE
WHILE MRS. GARRETT'S
OUT JOGGING 2 MILES A DAY.
YEAH. SHAME ON YOU.
PEOPLE LIKE MRS. GARRETT
JOG BECAUSE THEY'RE TRYING
DESPERATELY TO STAY YOUNG.
WE ARE YOUNG, SO WHO
NEEDS THIS GARBAGE?
I'M GONNA LET OFF SOME STEAM.
FORGET IT.
A PILLOW FIGHT WOULDN'T
MAKE A DENT IN MY TENSION.
BE SMART, TOOTIE.
THERE GOES SOME STEAM.
TOOTIE!
AND A LITTLE MORE STEAM.
TOOTIE, IF YOU HIT ME WITH THAT,
I'M GONNA LAY YOU OUT.
THAT'S ALL.
I'M SORRY, WHAT
SHOULD I HAVE DONE?
YOU SHOULD... WHAT IS SO FUNNY?
TOOTIE!
WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF?
NOW WE'VE ALREADY LOST 2 HOURS
'CAUSE OF TOOTIE, AND NATALIE...
HA HA HA HA HA!
AND NATALIE WHAT?
NICE HAT.
MY EXAM HAT?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
OH, GOOD, GOOD!
I'M LOSING A BOLT. I'M
WORKING AT HALF WATTAGE.
I'M SORRY.
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
REALLY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I KNOW.
MAY I?
FORGIVE ME.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I KNOW.
OH, BLAIR.
NO HARD FEELINGS.
DON'T WORRY...
IT'S DESIGNER PAINT.
I BETTER WARN YOU,
I'M A FENCING ARTIST.
OH, HOLY... WAIT, NO.
ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M A CON ARTIST.
YOU SNEAK!
HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
HOLD IT!
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
YOU GUYS ARE MAKING A MESS.
SHOW SOME DECORUM.
OKAY, REMEMBER SOMETHING!
TOOTIE... TOOTIE...
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, TOOTIE.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING?
WAS I GOING SOMEWHERE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE
SHOULD DO WITH HER?
OHH.
WELL, THAT'S ABOUT IT.
FINALLY.
LET'S GET THIS STUFF
INTO THE STOREROOM.
THE PAINTERS ARE HERE.
I'VE WARNED YOU
THIS WOULD HAPPEN!
I... I... OH, GOOD,
YOU'RE READY.
COME ON. I'VE GOT
JUST ENOUGH TIME
TO GET JEFFY CHECKED
INTO THE AIRPORT.
THEY INSIST ON TREATING
HIM LIKE BAGGAGE.
WAIT!
WHAT?
WE PACKED SO FAST
EVERYTHING'S MIXED UP.
THIS IS BLAIR'S BOX,
BUT THERE'S SOME
OF JO'S STUFF IN IT.
I KNOW. I SMELL THE PENNZOIL.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
YEAH.
WE'LL STRAIGHTEN IT OUT
WHEN WE COME BACK NEXT FALL.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE
FUN IN MANAGIN' ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR IT
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOT TO DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE
IT THROUGH WITHOUT ♪
♪ THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪