The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 5, Episode 21 - Mother and Daughter - full transcript
Tootie's mother is visiting her in Peekskill and feels compelled to confront her on why she doesn't confide in her about anything.
♪ YOU TAKE THE
GOOD, YOU TAKE THE BAD
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP TO YOUR DREAMS
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT
♪ YOU ♪ YOU
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT
♪ WHEN YOU'RE
LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
HAVE YOU HEARD FROM TOOTIE?
NO, SHE'S STILL AT SCHOOL
SO IF THE PHONE CALL COMES,
I'VE GOT TO TAKE IT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
SHE SUPPOSED TO HEAR FROM
THE PEEKSKILL PLAYHOUSE TODAY.
OOH, I HOPE SHE GETS IT.
ME, TOO, ESPECIALLY
SINCE HER MOM'S HERE.
SHE'S MUST BE SO
PROUD OF HER MOTHER.
I'D BE PROUD OF MY
MOM, TOO, IF SHE WERE
LECTURING ON LAW AT LANGLEY.
OF COURSE, MY MOM WOULDN'T
LECTURE. SHE'D SCOLD.
OH!
HI, DIANE, HOW DID
THE LECTURE GO?
OH, IT WAS A TRIUMPH.
I'LL SAY.
SHE MADE BEING A LAWYER LOOK
LIKE A RESPECTABLE PROFESSION.
HEY, NATALIE, WHERE'S TOOTIE?
SHE'S DUE ANY MINUTE NOW.
OH, SAY, WHY DON'T WE
GO IN THE LIVING ROOM
WHERE WE CAN BE MORE COMFORTABLE
AND NATALIE AND
I WILL FIX A SNACK.
OKAY? GREAT.
COME ON, NAT.
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT IT.
YOU WERE ROBBED.
I ADMIT THE JUDGE'S
SETTLEMENT WASN'T
AS MUCH AS I HOPED, BUT
THE CLIENT WAS HAPPY.
HAPPY? THE GUY FILLED
HIS CAR WITH MAPLE SYRUP.
I WOULDA SETTLED
IT OUT OF COURT.
AH, IT'S A SHAME YOU GOTTA GO
TO LAW SCHOOL TO BE A LAWYER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HMM, SOMEONE'S ALWAYS
TRYING TO LOOK BETTER THAN YOU
YOU GET CHEWED OUT
BY SADISTIC PROFESSORS
THAT'LL MAKING YOU
FEEL LIKE A FOOL.
JO, HAVE YOU BEEN
WATCHING PAPER CHASE AGAIN?
ACTUALLY, JO, I KIND
OF LIKE LAW SCHOOL.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.
I THINK YOU'D MAKE
A GOOD LAWYER.
REALLY?
REALLY?
SURE, SHE HAS QUALITIES
THAT IMPRESS A JUDGE...
SHE'S HONEST, SHE'S TOUGH,
AND SHE'S A GOOD MECHANIC.
JUDGES ARE ALWAYS
HAVING CAR TROUBLE.
HERE YOU GO. EMPTY CALORIES.
NAT, YOU MISSED IT.
JO'S DECIDED TO BECOME
POLNIASZEK FOR THE DEFENSE.
AH, NOT SO FAST. THE LAW
IS PRETTY COMPLICATED.
WELL, NOT REALLY.
JUST LOOK AT IT AS A WAY
OF SETTLING DISPUTES,
GETTING THINGS DONE
WITHOUT USING FORCE.
I DON'T KNOW. YOU GOTTA ADMIT
FORCE HAS ITS GOOD POINTS.
JO HOPING TO ATTEND THE
CHUCK NORRIS SCHOOL OF LAW.
WELL, THERE IS A BETTER WAY.
LET ME SHOW YOU.
LET'S SAY YOU AND
BLAIR HAVE A DISPUTE.
THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL CASE.
NOT IN THIS HOUSE.
NOW, YOU HAVE AN
ARGUMENT OVER THE USE OF,
LET'S SAY THE CAR.
LET'S SAY THE BATHROOM.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SAY YOUR BEEF
IS THAT YOU THINK THAT...
EACH PERSON SHOULD ONLY USE
THE BATHROOM FOR 15 MINUTES.
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BEGIN TO
PUT ON MY FACE IN THAT TIME.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE HIRED
ME AS YOUR ATTORNEY.
GOOD MOVE, JOE. HIRE THE BEST.
THANK YOU, EDNA.
NOW, I'M QUESTIONING BLAIR.
NOW, REMEMBER:
YOU TRYING TO COME
TO AN AGREEMENT,
SO I'M ONLY GOING TO ASK
QUESTIONS THAT I KNOW
YOU'LL AGREE ON.
BLAIR...
WE CAN AGREE, CAN'T WE,
THAT ALL FOUR OF YOU GIRLS
HAVE AN EQUAL RIGHT
TO USE THE BATHROOM?
WELL... YES.
AND WE CAN AGREE
THAT IN THE MORNING,
YOU ALL ONLY HAVE
ABOUT... AN HOUR.
AN HOUR, TO GET
READY FOR SCHOOL.
WELL... YES.
AND I'M SURE WE CAN AGREE
THAT AN HOUR DIVIDED BY FOUR
IS 15 MINUTES.
WELL... CAN'T WE?
YES.
SO DON'T YOU THINK THAT YOU
SHOULD ONLY TAKE 15 MINUTES
IN THE BATHROOM?
I OBJECT!
OVERRULED. NEXT CASE.
MY LAWYER WILL CALL YOUR LAWYER.
IN THE MEANTIME I'VE GOT
TO FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR
TO THIS PUNK COSTUME
PARTY THEY'RE THROWING
AT SIGMA KAI TOMORROW NIGHT.
I NEED SOME OLD,
DISGUSTING CLOTHES.
JO?
WHAT?
WILL YOU LEND ME
SOMETHING AWFUL?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU WANT TO DIP INTO MY CLOSET,
IT'S GONNA COST YOU.
YOU WOULD CHARGE ME MONEY? WHY?
BLAIR, WE CAN AGREE, CAN'T WE,
THAT IF YOU HAD TO GO
OUT AND BUY YOUR COSTUME,
IT WOULD COST YOU,
LET'S SAY, $35, $40?
WELL... YES.
- HI, GUYS. HI, MOM.
- HI TRUDY.
THERE YOU ARE.
HOW DID YOUR LECTURE GO?
GREAT. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
OH, FINE.
SO EVERYTHING OK AT SCHOOL?
YEAH, YOU KNOW SCHOOL.
HEY, NAT, ANY CALLS?
NOT YET.
HONEY, I WAS HOPING YOU'D
GET TO MY LECTURE TODAY.
I TRIED, BUT I JUST
COULDN'T MAKE IT.
HI. I RANG THE DOORBELL
BEFORE I BARGED IN.
THAT SHOWS PROGRESS,
HUH? OH, YEAH.
DID YOU GET THE TOILET PAPER?
BE COOL! I'M
PICKING IT UP LATER.
PLANNING ON ROBBING MR. WHIPPLE?
FUNNY! I'M KELLY ALFENADO.
HI. OH, I'M SORRY.
KELLY, THIS IS MY MOM.
MOM, THIS IS KELLY.
SHE'S A FRIEND OF
OURS FROM PEEKSKILL.
YEAH, I USED TO SHOPLIFT HERE,
BUT NOW I'M REHABILITATED.
WHAT ARE TWO GIRLS UP TO?
NOTHING.
IT'S OKAY. THEY'RE COOL.
WE'RE PLANNING A
LITTLE REVENGE ACTION
AGAINST STONE MILITARY
FOR CREAMING BATES
IN BASKETBALL LAST WEEKEND
OH, SOUNDS LIKE A T.P. PARTY.
BOY, DOES THAT TAKE ME BACK.
ME, TOO.
WHAT IS IT?
WE ARE GONNA WRAP THE
STATUE OF COLONEL STONE
IN TOILET PAPER.
THAT IS JUST A LITTLE
BIODEGRADABLE FUN.
WHERE'S JO? UPSTAIRS. WHY?
WELL, I NEED HER ADVICE
ON WHICH BRAND TO GET.
GENTLY SCENTED
OR SQUEEZABLY SOFT.
SHE'S QUITE A CHARACTER. YEAH.
HEY, LISTEN. DO YOU FEEL
LIKE LOBSTER TONIGHT?
I WAS THINKING WE COULD ALL
GO TO THE HARBOR INN FOR DINNER.
MY TREAT.
OH, THANK YOU! THANK
YOU! I LOVE LOBSTER!
TONIGHT REALLY ISN'T A
GOOD NIGHT FOR ME, MOM.
I'VE GOT TO PROOFREAD
A HISTORY PAPER.
YOU CAN DO THAT
IN A HALF AN HOUR.
15 MINUTES ON A FULL STOMACH.
GO GET IT.
I CAN'T.
WHAT? ALL RIGHT.
ONE MORE RING. WE DON'T
WANT TO SEEM ANXIOUS.
HELLO.
TOOTIE RAMSEY?
LET ME SEE IF SHE'S IN.
THIS IS IT.
HELLO.
YES, THIS IS SHE.
SO FAR SO GOOD.
WHAT IS IT?
THE MAN FROM THE
PEEKSKILL PLAYHOUSE.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THAT'S
VERY FLATTERING.
OH.
OH, I SEE.
OH, NO, IT'S OK.
YEAH, I'LL DO THAT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GOOD-BYE.
OH, TOOTIE...
WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY?
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
I AUDITIONED FOR THEIR
THEATER WORKSHOP.
I DIDN'T MAKE IT.
I'M SORRY.
DON'T WORRY, TOOTIE.
MERYL STREEP WAS CLOSE
TO 30 BEFORE SHE GOT ROLLING.
IT WAS SO CLOSE.
THEY ONLY TAKE A
COUPLE OF KIDS MY AGE.
IT WAS DOWN TO THREE OF US.
OH, TOOTIE, TRY NOT TO
LET IT UPSET YOU SO MUCH.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
IT WAS GONNA BE
MY WHOLE SUMMER...
TWO MONTHS IN A
PROFESSIONAL THEATER.
I KNOW HOW DISAPPOINTED YOU ARE.
AND I KNOW THIS HAS
HAPPENED BEFORE, HASN'T IT?
YEAH. YEAH, AND CHANCES
ARE IT'LL HAPPEN AGAIN.
MAYBE!
I JUST WISH YOU
WOULD TRY FOR THINGS
THAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY.
ACTING DOES MAKE ME HAPPY!
LOOK, LET'S NOT DWELL ON IT NOW.
YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER
AFTER A LOBSTER DINNER.
MOM, PLEASE!
I'M TOO UPSET TO EAT LOBSTER.
YOU MUST BE DEVASTATED.
I'M SORRY, I'M JUST NOT
UP TO DINNER TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW, TOOTIE, IT MIGHT
BE A GOOD IDEA TO GO OUT,
YOU KNOW, GET
YOUR MIND OFF THINGS.
I JUST FEEL LIKE BEING
ALONE, OK, MRS. GARRETT?
OKAY.
OKAY, HONEY, IF
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
I HAVE SOME WORK TO
CATCH UP ON ANYWAY.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HAVE BREAKFAST WITH ME
TOMORROW BEFORE MY SEMINAR?
OKAY.
OH, I'LL GIVE YOU A RAIN
CHECK ON THAT LOBSTER.
CAN I HAVE IT IN WRITING?
SO, I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING?
WE'LL HAVE FUN.
BYE.
BYE, NAT. BYE.
DIANE, BYE-BYE.
YEAH... BREAKFAST
WILL BE LOADS OF FUN.
COME ON, TOOTIE.
YOU'LL TRY A LITTLE HARDER,
AND NEXT YEAR, YOU'LL
KNOCK THEIR SOCKS OFF!
WHY DIDN'T MOM SAY THAT?
SHE NEVER GIVES ME ANY SUPPORT.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
SHE'S GLAD THAT I
FAILED THAT AUDITION.
OH, TOOTIE, YOU'RE WRONG.
IT'S TRUE. SHE DOESN'T
CARE ABOUT WHAT I WANT!
I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO HER.
OF COURSE SHE CARES.
SHE WANTS ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT'S BEST FOR ME.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
A THING ABOUT ME!
TOOTIE, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
YOU HAVE A TERRIFIC MOTHER!
REALLY?
OKAY, YOU LIKE HER SO
MUCH, YOU CAN HAVE HER!
OOH, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
THEY KEEP SENDING ME THIS
MAGAZINE I NEVER ORDERED,
TRAMPOLINE WORLD!
AND NOW I'M
GETTING BILLED FOR IT.
I'D LIKE TO KICK THAT PUBLISHER
IN HIS BOUNCING BEHIND!
ALL RIGHT, SIMMER DOWN.
VIOLENCE IS NOT
WHAT'S CALLED FOR HERE.
WHY NOT?
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, DIANE
GAVE ME THIS GREAT BOOK
ON CIVIL LAW
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE
MEDIATION OF DISPUTES
AND EQUITABLE SETTLEMENTS.
NOW, DID YOU SIGN
ANYTHING SAYING
THAT YOU WANTED THAT MAGAZINE?
OF COURSE NOT!
WELL, THEN, THEY DON'T
HAVE A LEG TO STAND ON.
HUH? LOOK, ALL YOU DO
IS WRITE THEM A LETTER
TELLING THEM ALL ABOUT
YOUR MENTAL ANGUISH
AND ABOUT THE
CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
AND THEN YOU TELL THEM IF
THEY DON'T CEASE AND DESIST,
THAT YOU'LL SUE
'EM TILL IT HURTS.
JO, YOU SURE HAVE LEARNED
A LOT ABOUT LAW IN A HURRY.
THIS IS A GREAT
PROFESSION FOR ME.
I MEAN, WHERE ELSE YOU
GET PAID SO MUCH MONEY
JUST TO THREATEN PEOPLE!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK YOU SHOULD
HAND WASH FROM NOW ON.
JO, PLEASE...
DON'T YOU KNOW A
PERFECTLY PUNK ENSEMBLE
WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
I TOOK THE TAG FROM
MY GIVENCHY BLOUSE
AND SEWED IT RIGHT HERE.
THESE ARE THE BUTTONS
OFF MY DIOR PANTS.
TO TOP IT OFF,
I RIPPED EVERYTHING... TWICE.
AM I PUNK, OR WHAT?
I VOTE FOR "WHAT?"
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO
SHOP FOR YOUR PUNK CLOTHES
AT SECONDHAND ROSE.
WELL, I WAS...
UNTIL I FOUND OUT THEY WERE
ACTUALLY SELLING CLOTHES
THAT OTHER PEOPLE
HAD ALREADY WORN.
ISN'T THAT DISGUSTING?
I SHOP THERE ALL THE TIME.
WELL, MAYBE NOT SO
MUCH DISGUSTING AS...
RESOURCEFUL.
I'LL GET IT.
DIANE!
HI, EDNA. HI, JO.
BLAIR, IT WORKS!
I'M JUST TRYING TO TRACK
DOWN MY DAUGHTER.
WE KINDA MISSED EACH OTHER
THIS MORNING AT BREAKFAST
AND WE'VE BEEN PLAYING
TELEPHONE TAG ALL DAY.
WELL, ACTUALLY SHE CALLED
AND LEFT A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
SHE'S STUDYING
LATE AT THE LIBRARY.
IT'S AFTER 9:00. I'D HAVE
THOUGHT SHE'D BE HOME BY NOW.
DON'T WORRY, DIANE.
SHE'S PROBABLY WITH JEFF
AND THEY STOPPED FOR A
HAMBURGER ON THEIR WAY HOME.
JEFF, IS HE ONE OF
HER BOYFRIENDS?
HE'S THE BOYFRIEND.
THEY'RE GOING STEADY.
LISTEN, JO, YOU WANT TO COME
TO THIS PARTY WITH ME TONIGHT?
WELL, I GUESS.
BUT I AM NOT DRESSING
UP LIKE SOME FREAK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
JUST COME AS YOU ARE.
HI, JOE. BLAIR, YOU'RE GROSS.
OH, THANK YOU!
BOY, DID WE MAKE A SCORE
ON THOSE MILITARY WIMPS!
OH, WAIT LET ME TELL
THEM. WE HAD A BLAST.
THEY HAVE THIS
STATUE OUT IN FRONT.
THIS BIG BRONZE
GUY UP ON A HORSE.
OH, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WE T.P.ed FROM
HIS LEGS TO WAIST.
AND JEFF GOT HIS ARMS
AND TOOTIE... TOOTIE?
MISSED IT ALL. WHAT
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
BUT I'LL FILL HER IN LATER.
MRS. G, IS IT OKAY IF I
SLEEP OVER AT KELLY'S?
THANKS. I KNEW YOU
WOULDN'T MIND. SEE YOU.
NATALIE!
WHY DIDN'T TOOTIE TELL US
SHE WAS GOING WITH YOU?
AM I MY ROOMMATE'S KEEPER?
NO. I GUESS WE'LL JUST
HAVE TO ASK TOOTIE.
GOOD IDEA. GO TO THE SOURCE.
COME ON, KELLY.
NOW, MAYBE SHE TRIED TO CALL
US AND THE LINES WERE TIED UP.
BLAIR SOMETIMES CAMPS ON
THAT PHONE FOR HOURS AND...
THANKS FOR TRYING, EDNA.
BUT TOOTIE DIDN'T
TRY TO CALL ME.
SHE'S BEEN DODGING ME ALL DAY.
NOT THAT IT REALLY MATTERS.
SHE DOESN'T EVEN TALK
TO ME FACE TO FACE.
ALL SHE EVER TELLS
ME IS SHE'S FINE
AND SHE'S BEEN OUT
AND NOTHING'S NEW.
EDNA, I'VE NEVER EVEN
HEARD OF JEFF BEFORE.
TOOTIE NEVER MENTIONED HIM?
NO! SHE NEVER TELLS ME ANYTHING!
AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
I CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH MY
DAUGHTER AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
AND DON'T TELL ME IT'S
BECAUSE I'M A WORKING MOTHER.
BECAUSE THAT'S BALONEY.
IT'S NOT JUST
BALONEY, IT'S BULL.
I WAS AT HOME WHEN MY SON
RAYMOND WAS A TEENAGER.
AND HE'D TELL ME
THINGS WERE FINE
AMD NOTHING WAS NEW.
AND I BELIEVED HIM.
UNTIL ONE TIME I FOUND OUT
HE STOLED ANOTHER KID'S BIKE.
WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT IT.
I LEARNED TO ASK
BETTER QUESTIONS.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER
IS LYING TO ME
AND I WON'T STAND FOR THAT.
GOOD.
HI, MOMMY, HI, MRS.
G. SORRY I'M LATE.
I THINK I'LL PUT ON SOME WATER.
AFTER THE LIBRARY
CLOSED, I GOT TO TALKING
WITH SOME OF THE GIRLS.
REALLY?
OH, BOY, I KNOW THAT "REALLY."
THAT MEANS NATALIE
BEAT ME BACK HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW, TOOTIE, I'M NOT
GONNA MAKE MAKE
A FEDERAL CASE OUT OF THIS,
BUT DON'T YOU THINK
THAT SOME PEOPLE
YESTERDAY, YOU SAID IT
WAS BIODEGRADABLE FUN.
TOOTIE, WE'RE NOT GOING
TO ARGUE ABOUT THIS.
IF YOU'D GOTTEN CAUGHT, YOU'D
HAVE BEEN IN A LOT TROUBLE.
OKAY, MOM. I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
CAN I GO UPSTAIRS AND STUDY?
SURE.
SURE.
THAT WAS FAST.
USUALLY, IT TAKES
ME A LOT LONGER
TO READ HER THE RIOT ACT.
I DIDN'T DO THAT.
WE TALKED ABOUT VANDALISM AND
SHE AGREED THAT IT WAS WRONG.
HM-MMM.
AND WHAT'D SHE SAY
ABOUT LYING TO YOU
AND NOT TELLING YOU ABOUT JEFF?
WE DIDN'T GET TO THAT.
YOU DIDN'T GET TO THAT?
WOW, I WAS EXPECTING
FIREWORKS OVER IT.
WHY DO YOU THINK I
WENT INTO THE KITCHEN!
LOOK, EDNA, I DON'T LIKE TO
ARGUE WITH MY DAUGHTER.
NO ONE LIKE TO
ARGUE WITH ANYONE,
BUT SOMETIMES MAKING
WAVES IS THE ONLY WAY
YOU CAN GET TO THE
BOTTOM OF THINGS.
BUT TOOTIE AND I HAVE
SO LITTLE TIME TOGETHER.
I JUST WANT IT TO
BE QUALITY TIME.
QUALITY TIME.
I HEAR A LOT ABOUT THAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
NEITHER DO I ANYMORE.
I USED TO THINK IT MEANT
LAUGHING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I JUST DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT WITH TOOTIE.
THAT DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING.
DIANE, YOU'RE NOT TRYING
TO SETTLE OUT OF COURT,
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET
TO KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER.
SO GO... TALK TO HER!
IT'S MOM.
COME IN.
NOW, TOOTIE, WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK.
AND IT'S NOT GOING TO
BE ALTOGETHER PLEASANT.
WE'RE GONNA TALK SOME PUNISHMENT
FOR WHAT WENT ON HERE TONIGHT.
TOOTIE, YOU'RE
GROUNDED FOR A WEEK.
NO, TWO WEEKS.
AND WHO IS THIS JEFF?
NOBODY.
WELL, THEN YOU WON'T MIND
NOT SEEING NOBODY ANYMORE.
MOM, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I'M SORRY.
WHY CAN'T I SEE HIM ANYMORE?
BECAUSE MAYBE HE'S THE
REASON YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME
AND AVOIDING ME.
JEFF HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.
TOOTIE, YOU'RE MUCH TOO
YOUNG TO BE THIS SERIOUS ANYWAY.
WE'RE NOT SERIOUS!
OH, I CAN SEE THAT.
MOST OF OUR DATES
ARE JUST STUDY DATES.
JEFF IS TERRIFIC AND
THOUGHTFUL AND...
AND THAT'S WHY I NEVER
TELL YOU ANYTHING!
TOOTIE...
HONEY, PLEASE, IT DOESN'T
DO ANY GOOD TO CRY ABOUT...
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LET'S
TRY AND LOOK AT THIS THING
WITHOUT GETTING EMOTIONAL.
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND JEFF!
OF COURSE I DON'T. YOU
NEVER EVEN MENTIONED HIM!
YOU NEVER MENTION ANYTHING!
I TRY, BUT YOU DON'T LISTEN!
YOU'RE TOO BUSY TALKING
THAT'S WHY I NEVER EVEN BOTHER!
THAT IS A LOUSY THING TO SAY!
WELL, IT'S TRUE!
AND I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T
WANT TO GET EMOTIONAL.
I AM NOT EMOTIONAL. I AM MAD!
I WANT TO KNOW WHY IT IS YOUR
FRIENDS LOVE TO TALK TO ME,
BUT YOU CLAM UP
LIKE A... A CLAM?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T
TREAT ME LIKE THEM.
HOW COME WITH NATALIE AND
KELLY A T.P. PARTY IS FUN AND GAMES
BUT WITH ME, IT'S VANDALISM!
TOOTIE, I AM NOT THEIR MOTHER.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TELL THEM WHAT TO DO.
OH, SO YOU SAVE IT ALL FOR ME.
ALL YOU EVER TELL ME IS
WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP!
YOU CAN'T HELP ME.
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME,
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
WHAT I THINK OR WHAT I FEEL!
I KNOW YOU DON'T
REALLY MEAN THAT.
MOM, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
TO ME IN THIS WORLD IS ACTING.
BUT YOU KEEP PUTTING IT DOWN.
I JUST DON'T WANT
YOU TO GET HURT.
IF BEING AN ACTRESS MEANS
GETTING HURT, I'LL GET HURT!
I DIDN'T KNOW IT MEANT
THAT MUCH TO YOU.
WELL, IT DOES.
THEN, TOOTIE, IF YOU WANT
TO BE IN SHOW BUSINESS,
BE AN ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER.
IT'S JUST AS EXCITING AS
ACTING, AND MUCH MORE STABLE.
SEE, MOM, YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.
WHAT?
YOU'RE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!
WELL, I'M SORRY.
I JUST CAN'T SAY OKAY TO
EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO!
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
I HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY.
IF YOU TELL ME YOU WANT
TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING,
I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY YES?
MOM.
I WANT TO BE AN ACTRESS,
NOT A STUNT WOMAN!
WHAT?
DID WE JUST HAVE AN ARGUMENT?
I THINK SO.
I'M STILL OKAY.
ARE YOU?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S
TIME WE STARTED TO SAY
WHAT'S REALLY ON OUR MIND.
TOOTIE...
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO.
OK.
I WANT YOU TO...
WHAT I WANT IS...
FOR YOU TO LET ME MAKE
SOME OF MY OWN DECISIONS.
OKAY.
BUT BAIL ME OUT WHEN I'M WRONG.
I WILL.
NOW IT'S MY TURN.
I WANT YOU TO PROMISE TO TELL ME
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
EVEN STUFF YOU
DON'T WANT TO HEAR?
ESPECIALLY STUFF I
DON'T WANT TO HEAR.
AND I'M WARNING YOU:
I'M GONNA ASK A
LOT OF QUESTIONS.
I'M GOOD AT THAT.
AND THERE'LL PROBABLY
BE SOME MORE ARGUMENTS.
WELL, I'M GOOD AT THAT.
I LEARNED FROM
NATALIE. SHE'S THE BEST.
MOM...
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME.
WHAT?
I'M NOT PERFECT.
THAT JUST MIGHT
RUN IN THE FAMILY.
HONEY...
I MAY SLIP IN SOME ADVICE
EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE,
BUT I PROMISE I WILL
REALLY LISTEN TO YOU
AND I WILL ASK HOW YOU
THINK AND HOW YOU FEEL.
WHAT? WHAT?
YOU'RE BEGINNING TO
SOUND LIKE MRS. GARRETT.
THANK YOU.
AND YOU'RE BEGINNING
TO SOUND LIKE...
MY DAUGHTER.
OH, TOOTIE.
STUNT WOMAN?
GOOD, YOU TAKE THE BAD
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP TO YOUR DREAMS
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT
♪ YOU ♪ YOU
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT
♪ WHEN YOU'RE
LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE
HAVE YOU HEARD FROM TOOTIE?
NO, SHE'S STILL AT SCHOOL
SO IF THE PHONE CALL COMES,
I'VE GOT TO TAKE IT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
SHE SUPPOSED TO HEAR FROM
THE PEEKSKILL PLAYHOUSE TODAY.
OOH, I HOPE SHE GETS IT.
ME, TOO, ESPECIALLY
SINCE HER MOM'S HERE.
SHE'S MUST BE SO
PROUD OF HER MOTHER.
I'D BE PROUD OF MY
MOM, TOO, IF SHE WERE
LECTURING ON LAW AT LANGLEY.
OF COURSE, MY MOM WOULDN'T
LECTURE. SHE'D SCOLD.
OH!
HI, DIANE, HOW DID
THE LECTURE GO?
OH, IT WAS A TRIUMPH.
I'LL SAY.
SHE MADE BEING A LAWYER LOOK
LIKE A RESPECTABLE PROFESSION.
HEY, NATALIE, WHERE'S TOOTIE?
SHE'S DUE ANY MINUTE NOW.
OH, SAY, WHY DON'T WE
GO IN THE LIVING ROOM
WHERE WE CAN BE MORE COMFORTABLE
AND NATALIE AND
I WILL FIX A SNACK.
OKAY? GREAT.
COME ON, NAT.
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT IT.
YOU WERE ROBBED.
I ADMIT THE JUDGE'S
SETTLEMENT WASN'T
AS MUCH AS I HOPED, BUT
THE CLIENT WAS HAPPY.
HAPPY? THE GUY FILLED
HIS CAR WITH MAPLE SYRUP.
I WOULDA SETTLED
IT OUT OF COURT.
AH, IT'S A SHAME YOU GOTTA GO
TO LAW SCHOOL TO BE A LAWYER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HMM, SOMEONE'S ALWAYS
TRYING TO LOOK BETTER THAN YOU
YOU GET CHEWED OUT
BY SADISTIC PROFESSORS
THAT'LL MAKING YOU
FEEL LIKE A FOOL.
JO, HAVE YOU BEEN
WATCHING PAPER CHASE AGAIN?
ACTUALLY, JO, I KIND
OF LIKE LAW SCHOOL.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.
I THINK YOU'D MAKE
A GOOD LAWYER.
REALLY?
REALLY?
SURE, SHE HAS QUALITIES
THAT IMPRESS A JUDGE...
SHE'S HONEST, SHE'S TOUGH,
AND SHE'S A GOOD MECHANIC.
JUDGES ARE ALWAYS
HAVING CAR TROUBLE.
HERE YOU GO. EMPTY CALORIES.
NAT, YOU MISSED IT.
JO'S DECIDED TO BECOME
POLNIASZEK FOR THE DEFENSE.
AH, NOT SO FAST. THE LAW
IS PRETTY COMPLICATED.
WELL, NOT REALLY.
JUST LOOK AT IT AS A WAY
OF SETTLING DISPUTES,
GETTING THINGS DONE
WITHOUT USING FORCE.
I DON'T KNOW. YOU GOTTA ADMIT
FORCE HAS ITS GOOD POINTS.
JO HOPING TO ATTEND THE
CHUCK NORRIS SCHOOL OF LAW.
WELL, THERE IS A BETTER WAY.
LET ME SHOW YOU.
LET'S SAY YOU AND
BLAIR HAVE A DISPUTE.
THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL CASE.
NOT IN THIS HOUSE.
NOW, YOU HAVE AN
ARGUMENT OVER THE USE OF,
LET'S SAY THE CAR.
LET'S SAY THE BATHROOM.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SAY YOUR BEEF
IS THAT YOU THINK THAT...
EACH PERSON SHOULD ONLY USE
THE BATHROOM FOR 15 MINUTES.
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BEGIN TO
PUT ON MY FACE IN THAT TIME.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE HIRED
ME AS YOUR ATTORNEY.
GOOD MOVE, JOE. HIRE THE BEST.
THANK YOU, EDNA.
NOW, I'M QUESTIONING BLAIR.
NOW, REMEMBER:
YOU TRYING TO COME
TO AN AGREEMENT,
SO I'M ONLY GOING TO ASK
QUESTIONS THAT I KNOW
YOU'LL AGREE ON.
BLAIR...
WE CAN AGREE, CAN'T WE,
THAT ALL FOUR OF YOU GIRLS
HAVE AN EQUAL RIGHT
TO USE THE BATHROOM?
WELL... YES.
AND WE CAN AGREE
THAT IN THE MORNING,
YOU ALL ONLY HAVE
ABOUT... AN HOUR.
AN HOUR, TO GET
READY FOR SCHOOL.
WELL... YES.
AND I'M SURE WE CAN AGREE
THAT AN HOUR DIVIDED BY FOUR
IS 15 MINUTES.
WELL... CAN'T WE?
YES.
SO DON'T YOU THINK THAT YOU
SHOULD ONLY TAKE 15 MINUTES
IN THE BATHROOM?
I OBJECT!
OVERRULED. NEXT CASE.
MY LAWYER WILL CALL YOUR LAWYER.
IN THE MEANTIME I'VE GOT
TO FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR
TO THIS PUNK COSTUME
PARTY THEY'RE THROWING
AT SIGMA KAI TOMORROW NIGHT.
I NEED SOME OLD,
DISGUSTING CLOTHES.
JO?
WHAT?
WILL YOU LEND ME
SOMETHING AWFUL?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU WANT TO DIP INTO MY CLOSET,
IT'S GONNA COST YOU.
YOU WOULD CHARGE ME MONEY? WHY?
BLAIR, WE CAN AGREE, CAN'T WE,
THAT IF YOU HAD TO GO
OUT AND BUY YOUR COSTUME,
IT WOULD COST YOU,
LET'S SAY, $35, $40?
WELL... YES.
- HI, GUYS. HI, MOM.
- HI TRUDY.
THERE YOU ARE.
HOW DID YOUR LECTURE GO?
GREAT. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
OH, FINE.
SO EVERYTHING OK AT SCHOOL?
YEAH, YOU KNOW SCHOOL.
HEY, NAT, ANY CALLS?
NOT YET.
HONEY, I WAS HOPING YOU'D
GET TO MY LECTURE TODAY.
I TRIED, BUT I JUST
COULDN'T MAKE IT.
HI. I RANG THE DOORBELL
BEFORE I BARGED IN.
THAT SHOWS PROGRESS,
HUH? OH, YEAH.
DID YOU GET THE TOILET PAPER?
BE COOL! I'M
PICKING IT UP LATER.
PLANNING ON ROBBING MR. WHIPPLE?
FUNNY! I'M KELLY ALFENADO.
HI. OH, I'M SORRY.
KELLY, THIS IS MY MOM.
MOM, THIS IS KELLY.
SHE'S A FRIEND OF
OURS FROM PEEKSKILL.
YEAH, I USED TO SHOPLIFT HERE,
BUT NOW I'M REHABILITATED.
WHAT ARE TWO GIRLS UP TO?
NOTHING.
IT'S OKAY. THEY'RE COOL.
WE'RE PLANNING A
LITTLE REVENGE ACTION
AGAINST STONE MILITARY
FOR CREAMING BATES
IN BASKETBALL LAST WEEKEND
OH, SOUNDS LIKE A T.P. PARTY.
BOY, DOES THAT TAKE ME BACK.
ME, TOO.
WHAT IS IT?
WE ARE GONNA WRAP THE
STATUE OF COLONEL STONE
IN TOILET PAPER.
THAT IS JUST A LITTLE
BIODEGRADABLE FUN.
WHERE'S JO? UPSTAIRS. WHY?
WELL, I NEED HER ADVICE
ON WHICH BRAND TO GET.
GENTLY SCENTED
OR SQUEEZABLY SOFT.
SHE'S QUITE A CHARACTER. YEAH.
HEY, LISTEN. DO YOU FEEL
LIKE LOBSTER TONIGHT?
I WAS THINKING WE COULD ALL
GO TO THE HARBOR INN FOR DINNER.
MY TREAT.
OH, THANK YOU! THANK
YOU! I LOVE LOBSTER!
TONIGHT REALLY ISN'T A
GOOD NIGHT FOR ME, MOM.
I'VE GOT TO PROOFREAD
A HISTORY PAPER.
YOU CAN DO THAT
IN A HALF AN HOUR.
15 MINUTES ON A FULL STOMACH.
GO GET IT.
I CAN'T.
WHAT? ALL RIGHT.
ONE MORE RING. WE DON'T
WANT TO SEEM ANXIOUS.
HELLO.
TOOTIE RAMSEY?
LET ME SEE IF SHE'S IN.
THIS IS IT.
HELLO.
YES, THIS IS SHE.
SO FAR SO GOOD.
WHAT IS IT?
THE MAN FROM THE
PEEKSKILL PLAYHOUSE.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THAT'S
VERY FLATTERING.
OH.
OH, I SEE.
OH, NO, IT'S OK.
YEAH, I'LL DO THAT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GOOD-BYE.
OH, TOOTIE...
WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY?
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
I AUDITIONED FOR THEIR
THEATER WORKSHOP.
I DIDN'T MAKE IT.
I'M SORRY.
DON'T WORRY, TOOTIE.
MERYL STREEP WAS CLOSE
TO 30 BEFORE SHE GOT ROLLING.
IT WAS SO CLOSE.
THEY ONLY TAKE A
COUPLE OF KIDS MY AGE.
IT WAS DOWN TO THREE OF US.
OH, TOOTIE, TRY NOT TO
LET IT UPSET YOU SO MUCH.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
IT WAS GONNA BE
MY WHOLE SUMMER...
TWO MONTHS IN A
PROFESSIONAL THEATER.
I KNOW HOW DISAPPOINTED YOU ARE.
AND I KNOW THIS HAS
HAPPENED BEFORE, HASN'T IT?
YEAH. YEAH, AND CHANCES
ARE IT'LL HAPPEN AGAIN.
MAYBE!
I JUST WISH YOU
WOULD TRY FOR THINGS
THAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY.
ACTING DOES MAKE ME HAPPY!
LOOK, LET'S NOT DWELL ON IT NOW.
YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER
AFTER A LOBSTER DINNER.
MOM, PLEASE!
I'M TOO UPSET TO EAT LOBSTER.
YOU MUST BE DEVASTATED.
I'M SORRY, I'M JUST NOT
UP TO DINNER TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW, TOOTIE, IT MIGHT
BE A GOOD IDEA TO GO OUT,
YOU KNOW, GET
YOUR MIND OFF THINGS.
I JUST FEEL LIKE BEING
ALONE, OK, MRS. GARRETT?
OKAY.
OKAY, HONEY, IF
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
I HAVE SOME WORK TO
CATCH UP ON ANYWAY.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HAVE BREAKFAST WITH ME
TOMORROW BEFORE MY SEMINAR?
OKAY.
OH, I'LL GIVE YOU A RAIN
CHECK ON THAT LOBSTER.
CAN I HAVE IT IN WRITING?
SO, I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING?
WE'LL HAVE FUN.
BYE.
BYE, NAT. BYE.
DIANE, BYE-BYE.
YEAH... BREAKFAST
WILL BE LOADS OF FUN.
COME ON, TOOTIE.
YOU'LL TRY A LITTLE HARDER,
AND NEXT YEAR, YOU'LL
KNOCK THEIR SOCKS OFF!
WHY DIDN'T MOM SAY THAT?
SHE NEVER GIVES ME ANY SUPPORT.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
SHE'S GLAD THAT I
FAILED THAT AUDITION.
OH, TOOTIE, YOU'RE WRONG.
IT'S TRUE. SHE DOESN'T
CARE ABOUT WHAT I WANT!
I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO HER.
OF COURSE SHE CARES.
SHE WANTS ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT'S BEST FOR ME.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
A THING ABOUT ME!
TOOTIE, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
YOU HAVE A TERRIFIC MOTHER!
REALLY?
OKAY, YOU LIKE HER SO
MUCH, YOU CAN HAVE HER!
OOH, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
THEY KEEP SENDING ME THIS
MAGAZINE I NEVER ORDERED,
TRAMPOLINE WORLD!
AND NOW I'M
GETTING BILLED FOR IT.
I'D LIKE TO KICK THAT PUBLISHER
IN HIS BOUNCING BEHIND!
ALL RIGHT, SIMMER DOWN.
VIOLENCE IS NOT
WHAT'S CALLED FOR HERE.
WHY NOT?
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, DIANE
GAVE ME THIS GREAT BOOK
ON CIVIL LAW
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE
MEDIATION OF DISPUTES
AND EQUITABLE SETTLEMENTS.
NOW, DID YOU SIGN
ANYTHING SAYING
THAT YOU WANTED THAT MAGAZINE?
OF COURSE NOT!
WELL, THEN, THEY DON'T
HAVE A LEG TO STAND ON.
HUH? LOOK, ALL YOU DO
IS WRITE THEM A LETTER
TELLING THEM ALL ABOUT
YOUR MENTAL ANGUISH
AND ABOUT THE
CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
AND THEN YOU TELL THEM IF
THEY DON'T CEASE AND DESIST,
THAT YOU'LL SUE
'EM TILL IT HURTS.
JO, YOU SURE HAVE LEARNED
A LOT ABOUT LAW IN A HURRY.
THIS IS A GREAT
PROFESSION FOR ME.
I MEAN, WHERE ELSE YOU
GET PAID SO MUCH MONEY
JUST TO THREATEN PEOPLE!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK YOU SHOULD
HAND WASH FROM NOW ON.
JO, PLEASE...
DON'T YOU KNOW A
PERFECTLY PUNK ENSEMBLE
WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
I TOOK THE TAG FROM
MY GIVENCHY BLOUSE
AND SEWED IT RIGHT HERE.
THESE ARE THE BUTTONS
OFF MY DIOR PANTS.
TO TOP IT OFF,
I RIPPED EVERYTHING... TWICE.
AM I PUNK, OR WHAT?
I VOTE FOR "WHAT?"
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO
SHOP FOR YOUR PUNK CLOTHES
AT SECONDHAND ROSE.
WELL, I WAS...
UNTIL I FOUND OUT THEY WERE
ACTUALLY SELLING CLOTHES
THAT OTHER PEOPLE
HAD ALREADY WORN.
ISN'T THAT DISGUSTING?
I SHOP THERE ALL THE TIME.
WELL, MAYBE NOT SO
MUCH DISGUSTING AS...
RESOURCEFUL.
I'LL GET IT.
DIANE!
HI, EDNA. HI, JO.
BLAIR, IT WORKS!
I'M JUST TRYING TO TRACK
DOWN MY DAUGHTER.
WE KINDA MISSED EACH OTHER
THIS MORNING AT BREAKFAST
AND WE'VE BEEN PLAYING
TELEPHONE TAG ALL DAY.
WELL, ACTUALLY SHE CALLED
AND LEFT A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
SHE'S STUDYING
LATE AT THE LIBRARY.
IT'S AFTER 9:00. I'D HAVE
THOUGHT SHE'D BE HOME BY NOW.
DON'T WORRY, DIANE.
SHE'S PROBABLY WITH JEFF
AND THEY STOPPED FOR A
HAMBURGER ON THEIR WAY HOME.
JEFF, IS HE ONE OF
HER BOYFRIENDS?
HE'S THE BOYFRIEND.
THEY'RE GOING STEADY.
LISTEN, JO, YOU WANT TO COME
TO THIS PARTY WITH ME TONIGHT?
WELL, I GUESS.
BUT I AM NOT DRESSING
UP LIKE SOME FREAK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
JUST COME AS YOU ARE.
HI, JOE. BLAIR, YOU'RE GROSS.
OH, THANK YOU!
BOY, DID WE MAKE A SCORE
ON THOSE MILITARY WIMPS!
OH, WAIT LET ME TELL
THEM. WE HAD A BLAST.
THEY HAVE THIS
STATUE OUT IN FRONT.
THIS BIG BRONZE
GUY UP ON A HORSE.
OH, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WE T.P.ed FROM
HIS LEGS TO WAIST.
AND JEFF GOT HIS ARMS
AND TOOTIE... TOOTIE?
MISSED IT ALL. WHAT
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
BUT I'LL FILL HER IN LATER.
MRS. G, IS IT OKAY IF I
SLEEP OVER AT KELLY'S?
THANKS. I KNEW YOU
WOULDN'T MIND. SEE YOU.
NATALIE!
WHY DIDN'T TOOTIE TELL US
SHE WAS GOING WITH YOU?
AM I MY ROOMMATE'S KEEPER?
NO. I GUESS WE'LL JUST
HAVE TO ASK TOOTIE.
GOOD IDEA. GO TO THE SOURCE.
COME ON, KELLY.
NOW, MAYBE SHE TRIED TO CALL
US AND THE LINES WERE TIED UP.
BLAIR SOMETIMES CAMPS ON
THAT PHONE FOR HOURS AND...
THANKS FOR TRYING, EDNA.
BUT TOOTIE DIDN'T
TRY TO CALL ME.
SHE'S BEEN DODGING ME ALL DAY.
NOT THAT IT REALLY MATTERS.
SHE DOESN'T EVEN TALK
TO ME FACE TO FACE.
ALL SHE EVER TELLS
ME IS SHE'S FINE
AND SHE'S BEEN OUT
AND NOTHING'S NEW.
EDNA, I'VE NEVER EVEN
HEARD OF JEFF BEFORE.
TOOTIE NEVER MENTIONED HIM?
NO! SHE NEVER TELLS ME ANYTHING!
AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
I CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH MY
DAUGHTER AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
AND DON'T TELL ME IT'S
BECAUSE I'M A WORKING MOTHER.
BECAUSE THAT'S BALONEY.
IT'S NOT JUST
BALONEY, IT'S BULL.
I WAS AT HOME WHEN MY SON
RAYMOND WAS A TEENAGER.
AND HE'D TELL ME
THINGS WERE FINE
AMD NOTHING WAS NEW.
AND I BELIEVED HIM.
UNTIL ONE TIME I FOUND OUT
HE STOLED ANOTHER KID'S BIKE.
WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT IT.
I LEARNED TO ASK
BETTER QUESTIONS.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER
IS LYING TO ME
AND I WON'T STAND FOR THAT.
GOOD.
HI, MOMMY, HI, MRS.
G. SORRY I'M LATE.
I THINK I'LL PUT ON SOME WATER.
AFTER THE LIBRARY
CLOSED, I GOT TO TALKING
WITH SOME OF THE GIRLS.
REALLY?
OH, BOY, I KNOW THAT "REALLY."
THAT MEANS NATALIE
BEAT ME BACK HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW, TOOTIE, I'M NOT
GONNA MAKE MAKE
A FEDERAL CASE OUT OF THIS,
BUT DON'T YOU THINK
THAT SOME PEOPLE
YESTERDAY, YOU SAID IT
WAS BIODEGRADABLE FUN.
TOOTIE, WE'RE NOT GOING
TO ARGUE ABOUT THIS.
IF YOU'D GOTTEN CAUGHT, YOU'D
HAVE BEEN IN A LOT TROUBLE.
OKAY, MOM. I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
CAN I GO UPSTAIRS AND STUDY?
SURE.
SURE.
THAT WAS FAST.
USUALLY, IT TAKES
ME A LOT LONGER
TO READ HER THE RIOT ACT.
I DIDN'T DO THAT.
WE TALKED ABOUT VANDALISM AND
SHE AGREED THAT IT WAS WRONG.
HM-MMM.
AND WHAT'D SHE SAY
ABOUT LYING TO YOU
AND NOT TELLING YOU ABOUT JEFF?
WE DIDN'T GET TO THAT.
YOU DIDN'T GET TO THAT?
WOW, I WAS EXPECTING
FIREWORKS OVER IT.
WHY DO YOU THINK I
WENT INTO THE KITCHEN!
LOOK, EDNA, I DON'T LIKE TO
ARGUE WITH MY DAUGHTER.
NO ONE LIKE TO
ARGUE WITH ANYONE,
BUT SOMETIMES MAKING
WAVES IS THE ONLY WAY
YOU CAN GET TO THE
BOTTOM OF THINGS.
BUT TOOTIE AND I HAVE
SO LITTLE TIME TOGETHER.
I JUST WANT IT TO
BE QUALITY TIME.
QUALITY TIME.
I HEAR A LOT ABOUT THAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
NEITHER DO I ANYMORE.
I USED TO THINK IT MEANT
LAUGHING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I JUST DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT WITH TOOTIE.
THAT DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING.
DIANE, YOU'RE NOT TRYING
TO SETTLE OUT OF COURT,
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET
TO KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER.
SO GO... TALK TO HER!
IT'S MOM.
COME IN.
NOW, TOOTIE, WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK.
AND IT'S NOT GOING TO
BE ALTOGETHER PLEASANT.
WE'RE GONNA TALK SOME PUNISHMENT
FOR WHAT WENT ON HERE TONIGHT.
TOOTIE, YOU'RE
GROUNDED FOR A WEEK.
NO, TWO WEEKS.
AND WHO IS THIS JEFF?
NOBODY.
WELL, THEN YOU WON'T MIND
NOT SEEING NOBODY ANYMORE.
MOM, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I'M SORRY.
WHY CAN'T I SEE HIM ANYMORE?
BECAUSE MAYBE HE'S THE
REASON YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME
AND AVOIDING ME.
JEFF HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.
TOOTIE, YOU'RE MUCH TOO
YOUNG TO BE THIS SERIOUS ANYWAY.
WE'RE NOT SERIOUS!
OH, I CAN SEE THAT.
MOST OF OUR DATES
ARE JUST STUDY DATES.
JEFF IS TERRIFIC AND
THOUGHTFUL AND...
AND THAT'S WHY I NEVER
TELL YOU ANYTHING!
TOOTIE...
HONEY, PLEASE, IT DOESN'T
DO ANY GOOD TO CRY ABOUT...
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LET'S
TRY AND LOOK AT THIS THING
WITHOUT GETTING EMOTIONAL.
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND JEFF!
OF COURSE I DON'T. YOU
NEVER EVEN MENTIONED HIM!
YOU NEVER MENTION ANYTHING!
I TRY, BUT YOU DON'T LISTEN!
YOU'RE TOO BUSY TALKING
THAT'S WHY I NEVER EVEN BOTHER!
THAT IS A LOUSY THING TO SAY!
WELL, IT'S TRUE!
AND I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T
WANT TO GET EMOTIONAL.
I AM NOT EMOTIONAL. I AM MAD!
I WANT TO KNOW WHY IT IS YOUR
FRIENDS LOVE TO TALK TO ME,
BUT YOU CLAM UP
LIKE A... A CLAM?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T
TREAT ME LIKE THEM.
HOW COME WITH NATALIE AND
KELLY A T.P. PARTY IS FUN AND GAMES
BUT WITH ME, IT'S VANDALISM!
TOOTIE, I AM NOT THEIR MOTHER.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TELL THEM WHAT TO DO.
OH, SO YOU SAVE IT ALL FOR ME.
ALL YOU EVER TELL ME IS
WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP!
YOU CAN'T HELP ME.
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME,
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
WHAT I THINK OR WHAT I FEEL!
I KNOW YOU DON'T
REALLY MEAN THAT.
MOM, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
TO ME IN THIS WORLD IS ACTING.
BUT YOU KEEP PUTTING IT DOWN.
I JUST DON'T WANT
YOU TO GET HURT.
IF BEING AN ACTRESS MEANS
GETTING HURT, I'LL GET HURT!
I DIDN'T KNOW IT MEANT
THAT MUCH TO YOU.
WELL, IT DOES.
THEN, TOOTIE, IF YOU WANT
TO BE IN SHOW BUSINESS,
BE AN ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER.
IT'S JUST AS EXCITING AS
ACTING, AND MUCH MORE STABLE.
SEE, MOM, YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.
WHAT?
YOU'RE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!
WELL, I'M SORRY.
I JUST CAN'T SAY OKAY TO
EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO!
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
I HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY.
IF YOU TELL ME YOU WANT
TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING,
I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY YES?
MOM.
I WANT TO BE AN ACTRESS,
NOT A STUNT WOMAN!
WHAT?
DID WE JUST HAVE AN ARGUMENT?
I THINK SO.
I'M STILL OKAY.
ARE YOU?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S
TIME WE STARTED TO SAY
WHAT'S REALLY ON OUR MIND.
TOOTIE...
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO.
OK.
I WANT YOU TO...
WHAT I WANT IS...
FOR YOU TO LET ME MAKE
SOME OF MY OWN DECISIONS.
OKAY.
BUT BAIL ME OUT WHEN I'M WRONG.
I WILL.
NOW IT'S MY TURN.
I WANT YOU TO PROMISE TO TELL ME
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
EVEN STUFF YOU
DON'T WANT TO HEAR?
ESPECIALLY STUFF I
DON'T WANT TO HEAR.
AND I'M WARNING YOU:
I'M GONNA ASK A
LOT OF QUESTIONS.
I'M GOOD AT THAT.
AND THERE'LL PROBABLY
BE SOME MORE ARGUMENTS.
WELL, I'M GOOD AT THAT.
I LEARNED FROM
NATALIE. SHE'S THE BEST.
MOM...
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME.
WHAT?
I'M NOT PERFECT.
THAT JUST MIGHT
RUN IN THE FAMILY.
HONEY...
I MAY SLIP IN SOME ADVICE
EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE,
BUT I PROMISE I WILL
REALLY LISTEN TO YOU
AND I WILL ASK HOW YOU
THINK AND HOW YOU FEEL.
WHAT? WHAT?
YOU'RE BEGINNING TO
SOUND LIKE MRS. GARRETT.
THANK YOU.
AND YOU'RE BEGINNING
TO SOUND LIKE...
MY DAUGHTER.
OH, TOOTIE.
STUNT WOMAN?