The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 5, Episode 18 - Big Fish/Little Fish - full transcript
Blair is confused as to why she isn't as popular at Langley as she was at Eastland and needs Jo's help to turn things around. Natalie has stopped having fun since the death of her father so Tootie and Mrs. Garrett try to help her get over it.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
I GUESS I MADE IT JUST IN TIME
TO HELP YOU CLOSE UP.
SORRY I'M LATE.
OH, CAN I STILL PICK UP
A QUICHE FOR DINNER?
NO PROBLEM.
WHERE'D YOU DISAPPEAR
TO AFTER CLASS?
OH, A BUNCH OF US WENT
OVER TO SAM'S FOR COFFEE.
WHO'S SAM?
IT'S NOT A WHO,
BLAIR. IT'S A WHAT.
IT'S A COFFEE SHOP.
EVERYBODY GOES
THERE AFTER CLASS.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD
HAVE COME ALONG.
WELL, NO ONE ASKED ME.
WELL, NO ONE ASKS ANYONE.
WE JUST GO.
OH, HOW CAREFREE.
SO, WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH
THE MISS EDIBLES CONTEST?
MRS. GARRETT IS
COUNTING THE BALLOTS
EVEN AS WE SPEAK.
YEAH, THE WINNER GETS
TO BE QUEEN OF OUR FLOAT
IN THE FOUNDER'S DAY PARADE.
WELL, I VOTED.
THANK YOU.
IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE
I WAVED TO A CROWD.
NOT SINCE THE HARVEST BALL.
I WAS CROWNED HARVEST
QUEEN THREE YEARS IN A ROW.
OH, HARVEST QUEEN?
OH, WHAT'S THAT?
HARVEST QUEEN
IS... HARVEST QUEEN.
IT'S THE BIGGEST
HONOR AT EASTLAND.
EASTLAND, THAT'S THAT
LITTLE GIRLS' SCHOOL
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF TOWN, ISN'T IT?
IT SEEMS BIGGER WHEN
YOU'RE GOING THERE.
UH, WELL, WE GOT TO GO.
YEAH. REMEMBER, WE'RE GOING
ICE-SKATING TOMORROW NIGHT.
RIGHT.
HEY, JO, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU COULD ICE-SKATE.
I CAN'T, BUT I FALL GREAT.
HEY, YOU'RE GONNA
COME ALONG, AREN'T YOU?
WELL... NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
I'M NOT A VERY GOOD SKATER.
WHO IS?
WE'RE ALL GONNA
BE WALKING AROUND
ON OUR ANKLES LIKE JERRY LEWIS.
I'M AFRAID PEOPLE EXPECT
A LITTLE MORE THAN
THAT FROM BLAIR WARNER.
NO, THEY DON'T.
COME ON, JUST GRAB YOUR SKATES
AND STICK A PILLOW IN YOUR PANTS
LIKE THE REST OF US.
I THINK NOT.
HI, GUYS. HEY.
NAT, I GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
IF WE EAT DINNER REALLY FAST,
WE CAN CATCH THE 6:30
SHOW AT THE MOVIES.
TOOTIE, WE CAN'T EAT THAT FAST.
WE CAN IF WE DON'T CHEW.
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE GOT TO STUDY TONIGHT.
NAT, YOU'VE BEEN
STUDYING ALL AFTERNOON.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR, ALL A's?
NOPE, A-PLUSES.
HAS MOM CALLED YET?
NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
I THINK I'LL GO GIVE HER A CALL.
EVER SINCE HER FATHER DIED,
SHE'S BEEN CALLING HER MOTHER
TWO AND THREE TIMES A DAY.
SHE'S STILL FEELING
A LITTLE LOST.
WELL, I WAS HOPING
AFTER SIX WEEKS,
THINGS WOULD BE BETTER.
WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL,
AND THE RESULTS ARE CERTIFIED
BY THE ACCOUNTING
FIRM OF KELLY AFFINADO.
SOMEBODY HAD TO KEEP HER HONEST.
AND NOW THE MOMENT
YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
THE WINNER IS... JO POLNIACZEK!
JO?
NO KIDDING?
NO KIDDING?
OH, WAIT TILL
NATALIE HEARS THIS.
JO?
THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
WHY NOT?
IT'S A POPULARITY CONTEST.
YOU DON'T WIN THOSE. I DO.
NOT THIS TIME, TOOTS.
LOOK, I'VE GOT IT
ALL FIGURED OUT.
NATALIE GOT THE EGGHEAD VOTE.
TOOTIE GOT THE GIRL SCOUT VOTE.
MRS. GARRETT GOT
THE OVER-50 VOTE.
THE OVER-40 VOTE.
BUT JO GOT THE COLLEGE VOTE,
AND THAT IS WHAT
PUT HER OVER THE TOP.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU SNUCK IN HER EVERY NIGHT
AND STUFFED THE BALLOT BOX.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
I DID NOT. I DIDN'T
EVEN VOTE FOR JO.
YOU DIDN'T?
HEY, YOU DON'T WANT
TO STAND ON THAT FLOAT
IN SOME STUPID PROM DRESS
AND SMILE AND WAVE
TO PEOPLE, DO YOU?
THE KID'S RIGHT.
I MEAN, I WILL DRIVE THE FLOAT,
BUT I AM NOT GETTING UP THERE
IN SOME STUPID DRESS
DOING JERKY STUFF.
THAT'S OKAY.
IN THE EVENT MISS EDIBLES
IS UNABLE TO PERFORM
THE DUTIES OF HER OFFICE,
THOSE DUTIES ARE TO BE
EXECUTED BY THE FIRST RUNNER-UP.
BLAIR... I'M THE
FIRST RUNNER-UP.
WELL, THIS HAS BEEN
EXCITING, BUT I GOT TO GO.
KELLY.
JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
HOW MANY VOTES DID I GET?
YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
OH, JO, LOIS CALLED.
SHE'D LIKE YOU TO COME
TO A LITTLE GET-TOGETHER
SHE'S HAVING FRIDAY NIGHT.
OH, NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT? UH-HUH.
I CAN'T MAKE IT.
I'M ALREADY GOING TO
THE PEN AND QUILL MIXER.
I BETTER GO CALL
HER AND TELL HER.
BLAIR.
OH... I HOPE YOU'RE
NOT TOO UPSET
ABOUT NOT BEING MISS EDIBLES.
MRS. GARRETT, THERE ARE MORE
IMPORTANT THINGS I'M NOT DOING,
LIKE THE PEN AND QUILL
MIXER AND THE PARTIES
AND HAVING COFFEE
WITH THE GANG AT SAM'S.
WHO CARES ABOUT
THAT DINKY CONTEST?
IT'S NOT THAT DINKY.
NATALIE, HAVE I LOST IT?
WHAT?
IT.
MY ESSENCE.
MY AURA.
WHATEVER IT WAS THAT MADE ME ME.
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, I DO.
AND I'VE LOST IT,
AND JO'S GOT IT.
WHEN WE WERE AT EASTLAND,
I WAS A BIG FISH AND
JO WAS A LITTLE GUPPY.
NOW I'M A LITTLE
FISH AND JO IS SHAMU.
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
YOU'RE BABBLING.
OH... OH-OH-OH... MRS. GARRETT!
OOH-OOH-OOH!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
NO!
WE STOOD IN LINE
AT THE BOX OFFICE
FOR 10 HOURS!
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO WITH ME.
OF COURSE I DID.
I COULDN'T LET YOU
STAND ON A STREET CORNER
AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING
WITH A BUNCH OF STRANGERS.
WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING IS WE
GOT THE TICKETS TO THE CONCERT.
THE IMPORTANT
THING IS WE'RE HOME.
WHY DON'T I MAKE YOU A
FIRE AND THAW YOU OUT?
OH, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANKS.
HEY, NATALIE, GUESS WHAT.
I GOT TICKETS TO THE
PAT BENATAR CONCERT.
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
YOU'LL HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
NO!
WE'LL HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
I GOT TWO TICKETS. I WANT
YOU TO COME WITH ME.
TOOTIE, I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.
I DON'T THINK I'LL
BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.
BUT, NATALIE, THE CONCERT
ISN'T FOR TWO WEEKS.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I CAN'T GO, OKAY?
OKAY.
I'M NOT GOING TO THE CONCERT.
WHAT?
NATALIE SAYS SHE'S NOT GOING,
AND IF SHE'S NOT GOING,
THEN I'M NOT GOING.
I'LL JUST GIVE MY TICKETS AWAY.
YOU WILL NOT!
I DID NOT TURN MYSELF
INTO AN ICE SCULPTURE
FOR SOME STRANGER.
YOU'RE GOING TO THAT CONCERT
EVEN IF I HAVE TO
TAKE YOU MYSELF.
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
WRONG WITH NATALIE.
I MEAN, I KNOW, BUT
SHE'S JUST NOT HERSELF.
LOOK, THE CONCERT
IS TWO WEEKS AWAY.
I'M SURE BY THAT TIME,
SHE'LL BE FEELING
A LITTLE BETTER.
I HOPE SO.
OH, HEY, MRS. G.
I GOT A PROBLEM.
I WAS OVER AT MAGGIE
THURSTON'S PARTY THIS AFTERNOON...
YOU WERE INVITED TO
MAGGIE THURSTON'S PARTY?
YEAH, NO BIG DEAL.
ANYWAY, FOUR PEOPLE
CAME UP TO ME AND SAID,
"HEY, YOU GOT A BIG PLACE.
WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A PARTY?"
WELL, WHEN ARE
YOU HAVING A PARTY?
MRS. G, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO THROW PARTIES.
I'VE NEVER THROWN A PARTY.
WELL, THERE'S
ALWAYS A FIRST TIME.
JO, WHEN SOMEONE RECEIVES
AS MANY INVITATIONS AS YOU HAVE,
IT'S ONLY POLITE TO RECIPROCATE.
WHAT, YOU MEAN, ASK PEOPLE OVER,
PLAY MUSIC, AND SERVE BEAN DIP?
UH-HUH.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO MAKE A PARTY.
WELL, YOU ASK PEOPLE
OVER, PLAY MUSIC,
AND SERVE BEAN DIP.
OH, I'M FROZEN SOLID.
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS AND
CHIP OFF MY PANTYHOSE.
WELL, DO YOU REALLY THINK
I COULD PULL THIS
PARTY THING OFF?
OH, OF COURSE YOU CAN, JO.
AND I'M SURE BLAIR
COULD GIVE YOU
A LOT OF HELPFUL HINTS.
ALL RIGHT, BLAIR, HINT.
OH, NO, REALLY. BLAIR.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO INVITE
JUST THE RIGHT MIX OF PEOPLE,
TO HAVE A VARIED
SELECTION OF RECORDS,
AND OFFER A LITTLE MORE
TO EAT THAN BEAN DIP.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK ABOUT NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT?
THE SOONER, THE BETTER. GREAT.
I'LL START TO MAKE
PHONE CALLS, AND THEN...
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, JO.
YOU DON'T WANT TO
MAKE PHONE CALLS.
WHAT YOU SHOULD
DO IS MAIL INVITATIONS.
YOU CAN USE SOME OF MINE.
BLAIR, THIS IS NOT SOME
FANCY DEBUTANTE BALL.
IT'S A LITTLE GET-TOGETHER.
WELL, IT'S YOUR FIRST
LITTLE GET-TOGETHER,
AND YOU SHOULD DO IT RIGHT.
BLAIR, IT'S MY LITTLE
GET-TOGETHER,
AND I'LL DO IT ANY WAY I WANT.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
TACO CHIPS AND BEER?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
I SUPPOSE WE CAN
ALSO LOOK FORWARD
TO AN EVENING OF HEAVY
METAL AND HEARING LOSS.
WELL, IF YOU WANT
TO SCREAM OVER...
BLAIR, IT'S MY PARTY,
AND I'LL SCREAM IF I WANT TO.
AND I'LL INVITE WHO I
WANT THE WAY I WANT.
FINE.
GO AHEAD AND MAKE PHONE CALLS.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU SHOUT
IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS.
GREAT!
THE PARTY IS
SATURDAY NIGHT AT 8:00.
I WON'T BE THERE!
FINE! FINE!
HERE ARE SOME FOLDING CHAIRS
IN CASE YOU NEED THEM.
NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE
ARE GONNA SHOW UP, TOOTIE.
PROBABLY NOBODY'S GONNA SHOW UP.
JO, THEY'LL ALL BE HERE.
THEY SAID THEY'D COME.
THEY PROBABLY LIED.
I TOLD THEM 8:00.
IT'S 8:15, AND NOBODY'S HERE.
MRS. GARRETT, TELL JO
THAT WHEN A PARTY
IS CALLED AT 8:00,
NOBODY WITH ANY TASTE
SHOWS UP BEFORE 8:20.
WELL, BLAIR, WHY
DON'T YOU TELL HER?
NO. I'M OUT OF IT.
DON'T BE SUCH A DONKEY.
WOULD YOU JUST
COME TO THE PARTY?
LOOK, I EVEN GOT YOU
A BOTTLE OF PERRIER.
AND A LIME.
NO. IT'S YOUR NIGHT.
FROM THE LOOKS OF
IT, IT'S YOUR DECADE.
WHAT IF I HAVE ALL
THE WRONG MUSIC?
WHAT IF I PLAY DURAN DURAN
AND THEY WANT TO
HEAR OINGO BOINGO?
WELL, I'M GONNA CUBE
SOME BREAD FOR THE FONDUE.
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
DON'T MAKE THE PIECES TOO BIG
OR THE PEOPLE WILL CHOKE.
NATALIE, I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS.
COME HERE.
YOU KNOW HOW YOU ALWAYS
SAID YOU WANTED A KITTEN?
YEAH.
WELL, THERE'S THIS
LADY AT THE DRUGSTORE
WHO HAS A KITTEN,
AND SHE WANTS TO GET RID OF IT.
TOOTIE, LAST TIME MRS.
GARRETT WAS NEAR A CAT,
HER SKIN BROKE OUT,
HER EYES SWELLED UP,
AND HER NOSE ALMOST FELL OFF.
IT'S ALL IN HER MIND. TRUST ME.
NOW, HERE'S MY PLAN.
SEE, WE SNEAK THE KITTEN IN,
AND WE KEEP IT IN OUR BATHROOM.
THEN AFTER A WEEK,
WHEN MRS. GARRETT
HASN'T SNEEZED,
WE SAY, "SURPRISE!"
TOOTIE, I DON'T
THINK IT'LL WORK.
BUT WE ALWAYS SAID
WE WANTED A PET.
I'M JUST NOT INTO IT.
OKAY, FORGET THE KITTEN.
COULD YOU GET
INTO A TROPICAL FISH?
HOW BIG A FISH?
WHERE YOU GOING?
UPSTAIRS. I'VE GOT
SOME STUFF TO DO.
THIS WHOLE PARTY
THING WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
I DON'T DO PARTIES.
WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT PARTIES?
THIS WHOLE THING IS
GONNA BE A DISASTER.
NOBODY'S GONNA SHOW.
SOMEBODY SHOWED.
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
OPEN THE DOOR.
♪♪
TA-DA! GREAT!
HEY, THERE'S MORE
FONDUE, EVERYBODY.
HEY! OH, GOOD!
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS, JO.
YOUR PARTY'S A HUGE SUCCESS.
I KNEW IT WOULD BE.
SEE? YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO WORRY, MRS. G.
OH, HEY, NAT, YOU
GONNA JOIN THE PARTY?
NO, I'M JUST GONNA GO GET
SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN.
UH, HEY, NAT, LOOK HERE.
THEY GOT YOUR FAVORITE.
MOZZARELLA MELTS.
MOZZARELLA MELTS?
YEAH!
HEY, UH, THINGS ARE GOING
REAL WELL DOWN HERE.
YEAH, I COULD HEAR.
SO, UH, WHY DON'T YOU
STICK AROUND FOR A WHILE?
THANKS BUT I HAVE
SOME STUFF TO DO.
MRS. GARRETT, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER.
WHY COULDN'T SHE
STAY FOR THE PARTY?
OH, HONEY, RIGHT NOW IT'S
STILL HARD FOR HER TO HAVE FUN.
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE FUN.
TONIGHT SHE HAD THE CHANCE
TO DO HER FAVORITE THING...
PUT SOMETHING OVER ON YOU...
AND SHE SAID NO.
REALLY?
MRS. GARRETT,
PLEASE TALK TO HER.
HEY, NATALIE, WHY ARE YOU
SITTING THERE ALL ALONE?
THESE MOZZARELLA
MELTS ARE THE BEST EVER.
YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU EAT OUT THERE
WITH EVERYBODY ELSE?
THAT'S OKAY. I'M FINE HERE.
HEY, I'VE BEEN SO BUSY LATELY.
I MEAN, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO
BESIDES GOING TO SCHOOL,
WORKING IN THE STORE,
AND GOING TO THE LIBRARY?
THAT ABOUT COVERS IT.
BOY, YOU'VE BEEN
HAVING A LOT OF LAUGHS.
I JUST WANT TO DO THE THINGS
THAT WOULD MAKE MY
FATHER PROUD OF ME.
YOUR FATHER WAS
ALWAYS PROUD OF YOU.
YOU'RE BRIGHT AND CARING,
AND YOU LOVE TO
MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.
OH, NATALIE.
NATALIE, REMEMBER
THE FACULTY SPOOF
AT EASTLAND LAST YEAR?
HOW COULD I FORGET? I DID YOU.
YOU WERE SO FUNNY
IN THAT APRON AND THE RED WIG,
RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE
YELLING "EAT YOUR VEGGIES!
SMELL THE FLOWERS!"
"TALK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS!"
YOUR FATHER LED
THE STANDING OVATION.
I REALLY NAILED YOU, DIDN'T I?
YEAH.
WELL...
YOU KNOW...
A FEW WEEKS AFTER
MY FATHER DIED,
SOME FRIENDS TOOK
ME TO THE MOVIES
TO SEE SOME LIKE IT HOT.
I LAUGHED FOR TWO HOURS.
AND THEN I WENT HOME
AND CRIED FOR TWO DAYS.
I MISSED MY DAD SO MUCH.
HOW COULD I HAVE
HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME?
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
BUT THEN I REALIZED
I WASN'T FORGETTING MY DAD
WHEN I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I WAS LETTING GO OF SOME
OF THE PAIN OF LOSING HIM.
NATALIE... IT'S OKAY.
THAT'S HOW WE GET
ON WITH OUR LIVES.
♪♪
THIS IS FOR YOU.
THANK YOU.
IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
NO ONE ELSE IS DRINKING IT.
JO!
WAIT A SECOND.
I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
HOW COME YOU'RE SO
POPULAR AND I'M NOT?
WHAT?
NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME ANYMORE.
NO ONE EVER ASKS ME ANYWHERE.
OH, BLAIR, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I'M NOT AS POPULAR
AS I WAS AT EASTLAND.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S TRUE.
THEY HATE ME AT LANGLEY.
THEY DO NOT.
THEY DON'T KNOW YOU
WELL ENOUGH TO HATE YOU.
OR TO LIKE YOU.
JO...
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME?
TELL ME WHAT I'M DOING WRONG.
OH, COME ON, BLAIR, THAT
WOULD TAKE ME A WEEK.
I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, YOU'RE NOT THE
SAME WITH OTHER PEOPLE
AS YOU ARE WITH US.
AROUND HERE, YOU'RE
YOURSELF... GOOFY.
BUT OUT THERE YOU'RE ALWAYS
BLAIR WARNER, HARVEST QUEEN.
YOU'RE ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE
WHAT TO WEAR AND WHAT TO EAT
AND HOW TO EAT IT.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
THANKS.
YOU KNOW, ANOTHER THING.
YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY
WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU.
SO THEY SEE YOU FALL ON THE ICE.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
YOU'RE... HUMAN.
I UNDERSTAND WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING, JO.
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, ANOTHER THING...
THERE'S MORE? BLAIR!
COME ON, OKAY?
WE'RE OUT IN THE WORLD NOW.
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT.
YOU GOT TO GET DOWN
OFF YOUR PEDESTAL
AND START BEING YOURSELF.
I'M NOT SURE I KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT.
SURE YOU DO.
JUST LOOSEN UP A LITTLE.
COME ON. COME ON
DOWN TO THE PARTY.
I'M UP TO MY
EYEBALLS IN BEAN DIP.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL COME DOWN.
JUST LET ME CHANGE.
I GOT THIS NEW SILK...
BLAIR.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE.
COME ON.
AND YOUR CARD WAS
THE QUEEN OF CLUBS.
NOPE, IT WAS THE
SEVEN OF DIAMONDS.
IT WASN'T THE QUEEN OF CLUBS?
NO, IT WAS THE
SEVEN OF DIAMONDS.
LOOK AGAIN.
THE QUEEN OF CLUBS!
THEN, WHERE...
WELL, THEN, WHERE'S
THE SEVEN OF DIAMONDS?
IS THIS IT?
OH, WOW!
LET'S HERE IT FOR MR. MAGIC!
YEAH! YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
WELCOME TO AMATEUR
NIGHT IN PEEKSKILL.
ALL RIGHT, SO, WHO'S NEXT HERE?
COME ON, SOMEBODY'S GOT
TO HAVE SOME HIDDEN TALENT.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I...
I DO DO SOMETHING.
WHAT?
I'M A...
I'M A VENTRILOQUIST.
YOU'RE A WHAT?
BLAIR WARNER A VENTRILOQUIST?
WELL, WHEN I WAS
KID, I WAS ALONE A LOT,
AND SO I'D SIT IN
FRONT OF THE MIRROR,
MY FAVORITE PLACE...
AND I'D ENTERTAIN MYSELF.
WELL, COME ON. DO IT.
YEAH, LET'S SEE IT. COME ON.
LOOK, I HAVEN'T DONE
THIS IN A LONG TIME.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
JUST KEEP GOING.
I'M GONNA NEED A DUMMY.
JO.
NO.
OH, COME ON, JO!
COME ON, JO. GET UP THERE.
COME ON, JO. LOOSEN UP A LITTLE.
ALL RIGHT, SINCE
YOU PUT IT THAT WAY.
AW... NOW, WHEN I
PULL YOUR PONYTAIL,
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
HI, JO.
HI, BLAIR.
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
LOOK, I NEVER SAID
I WAS ANY GOOD.
KEEP GOING. KEEP GOING.
NICE PARTY.
I THINK SO.
I HOPE EVERYONE'S
HAVING A GOOD TIME.
SO, WHEN'S YOUR NEXT PARTY?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
YES, I DO.
HOW ABOUT TACOS SUNDAY NIGHT?
MY TREAT.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
ALL RIGHT, WHO'S NEXT HERE?
TOOTIE, TOOTIE, YOU SAID...
DON'T BE SHY.
I'M NOT A HARD ACT TO FOLLOW.
WELL, UH...
I DO PLAY THE
BELLS OF ST. MARY'S
ON WATER GLASSES.
OKAY.
SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER TO ME.
RIGHT THIS WAY!
OKAY, HOW MANY
GLASSES DO YOU NEED?
EIGHT, AND I'M GONNA NEED
SOME WATER TO FILL IT UP,
AND I'LL NEED A SPOON.
YOU THROW A GREAT PARTY.
I LEARNED FROM THE BEST.
WHAT... WHAT IS
THIS WITH THE LIME?
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE
FUN OF MANAGIN' ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE
FACTS OF LIFE... ♪
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
I GUESS I MADE IT JUST IN TIME
TO HELP YOU CLOSE UP.
SORRY I'M LATE.
OH, CAN I STILL PICK UP
A QUICHE FOR DINNER?
NO PROBLEM.
WHERE'D YOU DISAPPEAR
TO AFTER CLASS?
OH, A BUNCH OF US WENT
OVER TO SAM'S FOR COFFEE.
WHO'S SAM?
IT'S NOT A WHO,
BLAIR. IT'S A WHAT.
IT'S A COFFEE SHOP.
EVERYBODY GOES
THERE AFTER CLASS.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD
HAVE COME ALONG.
WELL, NO ONE ASKED ME.
WELL, NO ONE ASKS ANYONE.
WE JUST GO.
OH, HOW CAREFREE.
SO, WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH
THE MISS EDIBLES CONTEST?
MRS. GARRETT IS
COUNTING THE BALLOTS
EVEN AS WE SPEAK.
YEAH, THE WINNER GETS
TO BE QUEEN OF OUR FLOAT
IN THE FOUNDER'S DAY PARADE.
WELL, I VOTED.
THANK YOU.
IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE
I WAVED TO A CROWD.
NOT SINCE THE HARVEST BALL.
I WAS CROWNED HARVEST
QUEEN THREE YEARS IN A ROW.
OH, HARVEST QUEEN?
OH, WHAT'S THAT?
HARVEST QUEEN
IS... HARVEST QUEEN.
IT'S THE BIGGEST
HONOR AT EASTLAND.
EASTLAND, THAT'S THAT
LITTLE GIRLS' SCHOOL
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF TOWN, ISN'T IT?
IT SEEMS BIGGER WHEN
YOU'RE GOING THERE.
UH, WELL, WE GOT TO GO.
YEAH. REMEMBER, WE'RE GOING
ICE-SKATING TOMORROW NIGHT.
RIGHT.
HEY, JO, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU COULD ICE-SKATE.
I CAN'T, BUT I FALL GREAT.
HEY, YOU'RE GONNA
COME ALONG, AREN'T YOU?
WELL... NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
I'M NOT A VERY GOOD SKATER.
WHO IS?
WE'RE ALL GONNA
BE WALKING AROUND
ON OUR ANKLES LIKE JERRY LEWIS.
I'M AFRAID PEOPLE EXPECT
A LITTLE MORE THAN
THAT FROM BLAIR WARNER.
NO, THEY DON'T.
COME ON, JUST GRAB YOUR SKATES
AND STICK A PILLOW IN YOUR PANTS
LIKE THE REST OF US.
I THINK NOT.
HI, GUYS. HEY.
NAT, I GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
IF WE EAT DINNER REALLY FAST,
WE CAN CATCH THE 6:30
SHOW AT THE MOVIES.
TOOTIE, WE CAN'T EAT THAT FAST.
WE CAN IF WE DON'T CHEW.
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE GOT TO STUDY TONIGHT.
NAT, YOU'VE BEEN
STUDYING ALL AFTERNOON.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR, ALL A's?
NOPE, A-PLUSES.
HAS MOM CALLED YET?
NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
I THINK I'LL GO GIVE HER A CALL.
EVER SINCE HER FATHER DIED,
SHE'S BEEN CALLING HER MOTHER
TWO AND THREE TIMES A DAY.
SHE'S STILL FEELING
A LITTLE LOST.
WELL, I WAS HOPING
AFTER SIX WEEKS,
THINGS WOULD BE BETTER.
WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL,
AND THE RESULTS ARE CERTIFIED
BY THE ACCOUNTING
FIRM OF KELLY AFFINADO.
SOMEBODY HAD TO KEEP HER HONEST.
AND NOW THE MOMENT
YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
THE WINNER IS... JO POLNIACZEK!
JO?
NO KIDDING?
NO KIDDING?
OH, WAIT TILL
NATALIE HEARS THIS.
JO?
THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
WHY NOT?
IT'S A POPULARITY CONTEST.
YOU DON'T WIN THOSE. I DO.
NOT THIS TIME, TOOTS.
LOOK, I'VE GOT IT
ALL FIGURED OUT.
NATALIE GOT THE EGGHEAD VOTE.
TOOTIE GOT THE GIRL SCOUT VOTE.
MRS. GARRETT GOT
THE OVER-50 VOTE.
THE OVER-40 VOTE.
BUT JO GOT THE COLLEGE VOTE,
AND THAT IS WHAT
PUT HER OVER THE TOP.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU SNUCK IN HER EVERY NIGHT
AND STUFFED THE BALLOT BOX.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
I DID NOT. I DIDN'T
EVEN VOTE FOR JO.
YOU DIDN'T?
HEY, YOU DON'T WANT
TO STAND ON THAT FLOAT
IN SOME STUPID PROM DRESS
AND SMILE AND WAVE
TO PEOPLE, DO YOU?
THE KID'S RIGHT.
I MEAN, I WILL DRIVE THE FLOAT,
BUT I AM NOT GETTING UP THERE
IN SOME STUPID DRESS
DOING JERKY STUFF.
THAT'S OKAY.
IN THE EVENT MISS EDIBLES
IS UNABLE TO PERFORM
THE DUTIES OF HER OFFICE,
THOSE DUTIES ARE TO BE
EXECUTED BY THE FIRST RUNNER-UP.
BLAIR... I'M THE
FIRST RUNNER-UP.
WELL, THIS HAS BEEN
EXCITING, BUT I GOT TO GO.
KELLY.
JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
HOW MANY VOTES DID I GET?
YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
OH, JO, LOIS CALLED.
SHE'D LIKE YOU TO COME
TO A LITTLE GET-TOGETHER
SHE'S HAVING FRIDAY NIGHT.
OH, NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT? UH-HUH.
I CAN'T MAKE IT.
I'M ALREADY GOING TO
THE PEN AND QUILL MIXER.
I BETTER GO CALL
HER AND TELL HER.
BLAIR.
OH... I HOPE YOU'RE
NOT TOO UPSET
ABOUT NOT BEING MISS EDIBLES.
MRS. GARRETT, THERE ARE MORE
IMPORTANT THINGS I'M NOT DOING,
LIKE THE PEN AND QUILL
MIXER AND THE PARTIES
AND HAVING COFFEE
WITH THE GANG AT SAM'S.
WHO CARES ABOUT
THAT DINKY CONTEST?
IT'S NOT THAT DINKY.
NATALIE, HAVE I LOST IT?
WHAT?
IT.
MY ESSENCE.
MY AURA.
WHATEVER IT WAS THAT MADE ME ME.
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, I DO.
AND I'VE LOST IT,
AND JO'S GOT IT.
WHEN WE WERE AT EASTLAND,
I WAS A BIG FISH AND
JO WAS A LITTLE GUPPY.
NOW I'M A LITTLE
FISH AND JO IS SHAMU.
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
YOU'RE BABBLING.
OH... OH-OH-OH... MRS. GARRETT!
OOH-OOH-OOH!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
NO!
WE STOOD IN LINE
AT THE BOX OFFICE
FOR 10 HOURS!
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO WITH ME.
OF COURSE I DID.
I COULDN'T LET YOU
STAND ON A STREET CORNER
AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING
WITH A BUNCH OF STRANGERS.
WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING IS WE
GOT THE TICKETS TO THE CONCERT.
THE IMPORTANT
THING IS WE'RE HOME.
WHY DON'T I MAKE YOU A
FIRE AND THAW YOU OUT?
OH, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANKS.
HEY, NATALIE, GUESS WHAT.
I GOT TICKETS TO THE
PAT BENATAR CONCERT.
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
YOU'LL HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
NO!
WE'LL HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
I GOT TWO TICKETS. I WANT
YOU TO COME WITH ME.
TOOTIE, I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.
I DON'T THINK I'LL
BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.
BUT, NATALIE, THE CONCERT
ISN'T FOR TWO WEEKS.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I CAN'T GO, OKAY?
OKAY.
I'M NOT GOING TO THE CONCERT.
WHAT?
NATALIE SAYS SHE'S NOT GOING,
AND IF SHE'S NOT GOING,
THEN I'M NOT GOING.
I'LL JUST GIVE MY TICKETS AWAY.
YOU WILL NOT!
I DID NOT TURN MYSELF
INTO AN ICE SCULPTURE
FOR SOME STRANGER.
YOU'RE GOING TO THAT CONCERT
EVEN IF I HAVE TO
TAKE YOU MYSELF.
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
WRONG WITH NATALIE.
I MEAN, I KNOW, BUT
SHE'S JUST NOT HERSELF.
LOOK, THE CONCERT
IS TWO WEEKS AWAY.
I'M SURE BY THAT TIME,
SHE'LL BE FEELING
A LITTLE BETTER.
I HOPE SO.
OH, HEY, MRS. G.
I GOT A PROBLEM.
I WAS OVER AT MAGGIE
THURSTON'S PARTY THIS AFTERNOON...
YOU WERE INVITED TO
MAGGIE THURSTON'S PARTY?
YEAH, NO BIG DEAL.
ANYWAY, FOUR PEOPLE
CAME UP TO ME AND SAID,
"HEY, YOU GOT A BIG PLACE.
WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A PARTY?"
WELL, WHEN ARE
YOU HAVING A PARTY?
MRS. G, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO THROW PARTIES.
I'VE NEVER THROWN A PARTY.
WELL, THERE'S
ALWAYS A FIRST TIME.
JO, WHEN SOMEONE RECEIVES
AS MANY INVITATIONS AS YOU HAVE,
IT'S ONLY POLITE TO RECIPROCATE.
WHAT, YOU MEAN, ASK PEOPLE OVER,
PLAY MUSIC, AND SERVE BEAN DIP?
UH-HUH.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO MAKE A PARTY.
WELL, YOU ASK PEOPLE
OVER, PLAY MUSIC,
AND SERVE BEAN DIP.
OH, I'M FROZEN SOLID.
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS AND
CHIP OFF MY PANTYHOSE.
WELL, DO YOU REALLY THINK
I COULD PULL THIS
PARTY THING OFF?
OH, OF COURSE YOU CAN, JO.
AND I'M SURE BLAIR
COULD GIVE YOU
A LOT OF HELPFUL HINTS.
ALL RIGHT, BLAIR, HINT.
OH, NO, REALLY. BLAIR.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO INVITE
JUST THE RIGHT MIX OF PEOPLE,
TO HAVE A VARIED
SELECTION OF RECORDS,
AND OFFER A LITTLE MORE
TO EAT THAN BEAN DIP.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK ABOUT NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT?
THE SOONER, THE BETTER. GREAT.
I'LL START TO MAKE
PHONE CALLS, AND THEN...
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, JO.
YOU DON'T WANT TO
MAKE PHONE CALLS.
WHAT YOU SHOULD
DO IS MAIL INVITATIONS.
YOU CAN USE SOME OF MINE.
BLAIR, THIS IS NOT SOME
FANCY DEBUTANTE BALL.
IT'S A LITTLE GET-TOGETHER.
WELL, IT'S YOUR FIRST
LITTLE GET-TOGETHER,
AND YOU SHOULD DO IT RIGHT.
BLAIR, IT'S MY LITTLE
GET-TOGETHER,
AND I'LL DO IT ANY WAY I WANT.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
TACO CHIPS AND BEER?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
I SUPPOSE WE CAN
ALSO LOOK FORWARD
TO AN EVENING OF HEAVY
METAL AND HEARING LOSS.
WELL, IF YOU WANT
TO SCREAM OVER...
BLAIR, IT'S MY PARTY,
AND I'LL SCREAM IF I WANT TO.
AND I'LL INVITE WHO I
WANT THE WAY I WANT.
FINE.
GO AHEAD AND MAKE PHONE CALLS.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU SHOUT
IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS.
GREAT!
THE PARTY IS
SATURDAY NIGHT AT 8:00.
I WON'T BE THERE!
FINE! FINE!
HERE ARE SOME FOLDING CHAIRS
IN CASE YOU NEED THEM.
NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE
ARE GONNA SHOW UP, TOOTIE.
PROBABLY NOBODY'S GONNA SHOW UP.
JO, THEY'LL ALL BE HERE.
THEY SAID THEY'D COME.
THEY PROBABLY LIED.
I TOLD THEM 8:00.
IT'S 8:15, AND NOBODY'S HERE.
MRS. GARRETT, TELL JO
THAT WHEN A PARTY
IS CALLED AT 8:00,
NOBODY WITH ANY TASTE
SHOWS UP BEFORE 8:20.
WELL, BLAIR, WHY
DON'T YOU TELL HER?
NO. I'M OUT OF IT.
DON'T BE SUCH A DONKEY.
WOULD YOU JUST
COME TO THE PARTY?
LOOK, I EVEN GOT YOU
A BOTTLE OF PERRIER.
AND A LIME.
NO. IT'S YOUR NIGHT.
FROM THE LOOKS OF
IT, IT'S YOUR DECADE.
WHAT IF I HAVE ALL
THE WRONG MUSIC?
WHAT IF I PLAY DURAN DURAN
AND THEY WANT TO
HEAR OINGO BOINGO?
WELL, I'M GONNA CUBE
SOME BREAD FOR THE FONDUE.
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
DON'T MAKE THE PIECES TOO BIG
OR THE PEOPLE WILL CHOKE.
NATALIE, I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS.
COME HERE.
YOU KNOW HOW YOU ALWAYS
SAID YOU WANTED A KITTEN?
YEAH.
WELL, THERE'S THIS
LADY AT THE DRUGSTORE
WHO HAS A KITTEN,
AND SHE WANTS TO GET RID OF IT.
TOOTIE, LAST TIME MRS.
GARRETT WAS NEAR A CAT,
HER SKIN BROKE OUT,
HER EYES SWELLED UP,
AND HER NOSE ALMOST FELL OFF.
IT'S ALL IN HER MIND. TRUST ME.
NOW, HERE'S MY PLAN.
SEE, WE SNEAK THE KITTEN IN,
AND WE KEEP IT IN OUR BATHROOM.
THEN AFTER A WEEK,
WHEN MRS. GARRETT
HASN'T SNEEZED,
WE SAY, "SURPRISE!"
TOOTIE, I DON'T
THINK IT'LL WORK.
BUT WE ALWAYS SAID
WE WANTED A PET.
I'M JUST NOT INTO IT.
OKAY, FORGET THE KITTEN.
COULD YOU GET
INTO A TROPICAL FISH?
HOW BIG A FISH?
WHERE YOU GOING?
UPSTAIRS. I'VE GOT
SOME STUFF TO DO.
THIS WHOLE PARTY
THING WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
I DON'T DO PARTIES.
WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT PARTIES?
THIS WHOLE THING IS
GONNA BE A DISASTER.
NOBODY'S GONNA SHOW.
SOMEBODY SHOWED.
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
OPEN THE DOOR.
♪♪
TA-DA! GREAT!
HEY, THERE'S MORE
FONDUE, EVERYBODY.
HEY! OH, GOOD!
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS, JO.
YOUR PARTY'S A HUGE SUCCESS.
I KNEW IT WOULD BE.
SEE? YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO WORRY, MRS. G.
OH, HEY, NAT, YOU
GONNA JOIN THE PARTY?
NO, I'M JUST GONNA GO GET
SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN.
UH, HEY, NAT, LOOK HERE.
THEY GOT YOUR FAVORITE.
MOZZARELLA MELTS.
MOZZARELLA MELTS?
YEAH!
HEY, UH, THINGS ARE GOING
REAL WELL DOWN HERE.
YEAH, I COULD HEAR.
SO, UH, WHY DON'T YOU
STICK AROUND FOR A WHILE?
THANKS BUT I HAVE
SOME STUFF TO DO.
MRS. GARRETT, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER.
WHY COULDN'T SHE
STAY FOR THE PARTY?
OH, HONEY, RIGHT NOW IT'S
STILL HARD FOR HER TO HAVE FUN.
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE FUN.
TONIGHT SHE HAD THE CHANCE
TO DO HER FAVORITE THING...
PUT SOMETHING OVER ON YOU...
AND SHE SAID NO.
REALLY?
MRS. GARRETT,
PLEASE TALK TO HER.
HEY, NATALIE, WHY ARE YOU
SITTING THERE ALL ALONE?
THESE MOZZARELLA
MELTS ARE THE BEST EVER.
YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU EAT OUT THERE
WITH EVERYBODY ELSE?
THAT'S OKAY. I'M FINE HERE.
HEY, I'VE BEEN SO BUSY LATELY.
I MEAN, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO
BESIDES GOING TO SCHOOL,
WORKING IN THE STORE,
AND GOING TO THE LIBRARY?
THAT ABOUT COVERS IT.
BOY, YOU'VE BEEN
HAVING A LOT OF LAUGHS.
I JUST WANT TO DO THE THINGS
THAT WOULD MAKE MY
FATHER PROUD OF ME.
YOUR FATHER WAS
ALWAYS PROUD OF YOU.
YOU'RE BRIGHT AND CARING,
AND YOU LOVE TO
MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.
OH, NATALIE.
NATALIE, REMEMBER
THE FACULTY SPOOF
AT EASTLAND LAST YEAR?
HOW COULD I FORGET? I DID YOU.
YOU WERE SO FUNNY
IN THAT APRON AND THE RED WIG,
RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE
YELLING "EAT YOUR VEGGIES!
SMELL THE FLOWERS!"
"TALK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS!"
YOUR FATHER LED
THE STANDING OVATION.
I REALLY NAILED YOU, DIDN'T I?
YEAH.
WELL...
YOU KNOW...
A FEW WEEKS AFTER
MY FATHER DIED,
SOME FRIENDS TOOK
ME TO THE MOVIES
TO SEE SOME LIKE IT HOT.
I LAUGHED FOR TWO HOURS.
AND THEN I WENT HOME
AND CRIED FOR TWO DAYS.
I MISSED MY DAD SO MUCH.
HOW COULD I HAVE
HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME?
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
BUT THEN I REALIZED
I WASN'T FORGETTING MY DAD
WHEN I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I WAS LETTING GO OF SOME
OF THE PAIN OF LOSING HIM.
NATALIE... IT'S OKAY.
THAT'S HOW WE GET
ON WITH OUR LIVES.
♪♪
THIS IS FOR YOU.
THANK YOU.
IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
NO ONE ELSE IS DRINKING IT.
JO!
WAIT A SECOND.
I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
HOW COME YOU'RE SO
POPULAR AND I'M NOT?
WHAT?
NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME ANYMORE.
NO ONE EVER ASKS ME ANYWHERE.
OH, BLAIR, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I'M NOT AS POPULAR
AS I WAS AT EASTLAND.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S TRUE.
THEY HATE ME AT LANGLEY.
THEY DO NOT.
THEY DON'T KNOW YOU
WELL ENOUGH TO HATE YOU.
OR TO LIKE YOU.
JO...
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME?
TELL ME WHAT I'M DOING WRONG.
OH, COME ON, BLAIR, THAT
WOULD TAKE ME A WEEK.
I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, YOU'RE NOT THE
SAME WITH OTHER PEOPLE
AS YOU ARE WITH US.
AROUND HERE, YOU'RE
YOURSELF... GOOFY.
BUT OUT THERE YOU'RE ALWAYS
BLAIR WARNER, HARVEST QUEEN.
YOU'RE ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE
WHAT TO WEAR AND WHAT TO EAT
AND HOW TO EAT IT.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
THANKS.
YOU KNOW, ANOTHER THING.
YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY
WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU.
SO THEY SEE YOU FALL ON THE ICE.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
YOU'RE... HUMAN.
I UNDERSTAND WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING, JO.
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, ANOTHER THING...
THERE'S MORE? BLAIR!
COME ON, OKAY?
WE'RE OUT IN THE WORLD NOW.
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT.
YOU GOT TO GET DOWN
OFF YOUR PEDESTAL
AND START BEING YOURSELF.
I'M NOT SURE I KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT.
SURE YOU DO.
JUST LOOSEN UP A LITTLE.
COME ON. COME ON
DOWN TO THE PARTY.
I'M UP TO MY
EYEBALLS IN BEAN DIP.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL COME DOWN.
JUST LET ME CHANGE.
I GOT THIS NEW SILK...
BLAIR.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE.
COME ON.
AND YOUR CARD WAS
THE QUEEN OF CLUBS.
NOPE, IT WAS THE
SEVEN OF DIAMONDS.
IT WASN'T THE QUEEN OF CLUBS?
NO, IT WAS THE
SEVEN OF DIAMONDS.
LOOK AGAIN.
THE QUEEN OF CLUBS!
THEN, WHERE...
WELL, THEN, WHERE'S
THE SEVEN OF DIAMONDS?
IS THIS IT?
OH, WOW!
LET'S HERE IT FOR MR. MAGIC!
YEAH! YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
WELCOME TO AMATEUR
NIGHT IN PEEKSKILL.
ALL RIGHT, SO, WHO'S NEXT HERE?
COME ON, SOMEBODY'S GOT
TO HAVE SOME HIDDEN TALENT.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I...
I DO DO SOMETHING.
WHAT?
I'M A...
I'M A VENTRILOQUIST.
YOU'RE A WHAT?
BLAIR WARNER A VENTRILOQUIST?
WELL, WHEN I WAS
KID, I WAS ALONE A LOT,
AND SO I'D SIT IN
FRONT OF THE MIRROR,
MY FAVORITE PLACE...
AND I'D ENTERTAIN MYSELF.
WELL, COME ON. DO IT.
YEAH, LET'S SEE IT. COME ON.
LOOK, I HAVEN'T DONE
THIS IN A LONG TIME.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
JUST KEEP GOING.
I'M GONNA NEED A DUMMY.
JO.
NO.
OH, COME ON, JO!
COME ON, JO. GET UP THERE.
COME ON, JO. LOOSEN UP A LITTLE.
ALL RIGHT, SINCE
YOU PUT IT THAT WAY.
AW... NOW, WHEN I
PULL YOUR PONYTAIL,
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
HI, JO.
HI, BLAIR.
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
LOOK, I NEVER SAID
I WAS ANY GOOD.
KEEP GOING. KEEP GOING.
NICE PARTY.
I THINK SO.
I HOPE EVERYONE'S
HAVING A GOOD TIME.
SO, WHEN'S YOUR NEXT PARTY?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
YES, I DO.
HOW ABOUT TACOS SUNDAY NIGHT?
MY TREAT.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
ALL RIGHT, WHO'S NEXT HERE?
TOOTIE, TOOTIE, YOU SAID...
DON'T BE SHY.
I'M NOT A HARD ACT TO FOLLOW.
WELL, UH...
I DO PLAY THE
BELLS OF ST. MARY'S
ON WATER GLASSES.
OKAY.
SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER TO ME.
RIGHT THIS WAY!
OKAY, HOW MANY
GLASSES DO YOU NEED?
EIGHT, AND I'M GONNA NEED
SOME WATER TO FILL IT UP,
AND I'LL NEED A SPOON.
YOU THROW A GREAT PARTY.
I LEARNED FROM THE BEST.
WHAT... WHAT IS
THIS WITH THE LIME?
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE
FUN OF MANAGIN' ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE
FACTS OF LIFE... ♪