The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 5, Episode 17 - A Death in the Family - full transcript
Natalie's father dies from a sudden heart attack.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE,
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE,
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
WELL, I THINK I CAN GET
RID OF THIS EYE LINER.
IT'S PRACTICALLY
TURNED INTO TAR.
WAIT A SEC. IF IT'S
BLACK, I'LL TAKE IT.
OK, BUT I THINK A SOFT BROWN
WOULDN'T MAKE YOU LOOK QUITE AS CHEAP.
IT'S FOR MY BOOT, BLAIR.
SEE, I SCUFFED IT OVER HERE,
AND THE POLISH ISN'T WORKING.
LUCKY FOR ME, YOUR
MAKE-UP COVERS EVERYTHING.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
GIRLS, I DID IT!
I JUST SIGNED US
UP TO HAVE A FLOAT
IN THE FOUNDERS DAY PARADE.
ALL RIGHT! GREAT!
UH, HOLD THE PHONE HERE, MRS. G.
I AM NOT MARCHING DOWN
THE STREET WITH SOME TUBA.
WELL, NEITHER AM I.
I'M TALKING ABOUT A FLOAT.
A FLOAT?
THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
I HATE IT. I HATE PARADES.
NO, YOU DON'T.
NOBODY HATES PARADES.
I DO... THEY'RE NOISY, THEY'RE
DIRTY, AND THEY'RE CROWDED.
AND A LOT OF PUBLICITY
FOR EDNA'S EDIBLES.
MRS. G, YOU WANT PUBLICITY?
HIRE THE GOODYEAR BLIMP.
I GOT AN IDEA.
WE'LL MAKE ALL THE FOOD WE SELL
OUT OF FLOWERS. WONDERFUL, TOOTIE.
WE'LL MAKE HUNDREDS OF
CHEESE PUFFS OUT OF MUMS!
YEAH! MRS. G...
UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING
TO HIJACK A FLORIST,
THAT FLOAT IS GONNA
COST YOU A FORTUNE.
FLOWERS DON'T GROW ON TREES.
I GUESS.
OH, THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME WAY
WE CAN WORK THIS THING OUT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF WE CAN'T MAKE CHEESE
PUFFS OUT OF FLOWERS,
LET'S MAKE FLOWERS
OUT OF CHEESE PUFFS.
THAT'S DUMB.
NO, LISTEN TO HER.
ALL OF NATALIE'S GOOD
IDEAS SOUND DUMB.
THANK YOU.
THE STORE IS EDNA'S
EDIBLES, RIGHT? RIGHT.
SO WHY NOT MAKE AN EDIBLE FLOAT?
LIKE, IF YOU WERE TO
MAKE A SUNFLOWER,
YOU WOULD USE
CROISSANTS FOR THE PETALS.
AND QUICHE FOR THE MIDDLE.
OH, NATALIE, YOU'RE A GENIUS!
YEAH, WELL...
HEY, WE CAN MAKE THE
GRASS OUT OF SPINACH PASTA.
AND I CAN BE THE
QUEEN OF THE FLOAT.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL MAKE
YOU OUT OF SOURDOUGH.
WAIT A SECOND. WHY
SHOULD YOU BE QUEEN?
WELL, FOR ONE THING,
I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO
HAS HER OWN TIARA.
I'LL WEAR A BALL GOWN
AND CARRY A SCEPTER
AND WAVE MAJESTICALLY
TO MY LOYAL SUBJECTS.
AND WHAT DO WE DO? STAND BEHIND
YOU GOING, "DOO-WAH, DOO-WAH?"
YOU CAN WAVE, TOO.
IT'S JUST THAT EVERY
FLOAT NEEDS A QUEEN,
AND I DO HAVE THE CREDENTIALS.
AFTER ALL... WE KNOW, BLAIR.
YOU WERE ELECTED
EASTLAND'S HARVEST QUEEN
THREE YEARS IN A ROW!
THREE YEARS IN A ROW!
EACH YEAR BY A LANDSLIDE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
PUT IT TO A VOTE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL THOSE IN FAVOR
OF ME BEING FLOAT QUEEN,
RAISE YOUR HAND.
I DON'T MEAN US, BLAIR.
I MEAN WE'LL HAVE A CONTEST
AND LET THE CUSTOMERS VOTE,
AND THE WINNER WILL BE...
I DON'T KNOW,
UH... MISS EDIBLES!
MRS. GARRETT, YOU'RE A GENIUS!
YEAH, WELL...
LOOK, I HAVE NO OBJECTION
TO GOING THROUGH THE
MOTIONS OF AN ELECTION.
THANK YOU, EVITA.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE
THE STORE DOESN'T GET SUED.
FOR WHAT?
WELL, WHEN YOU HOLD AN ELECTION,
AND YOU ALREADY KNOW
WHO THE WINNER'S GONNA BE,
DOESN'T THAT CONSTITUTE FRAUD?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
NO, ALL THAT
CONSTITUTES IS CONCEIT.
[RINGING]
NOW, WE'LL DISPLAY
ALL OF YOUR PICTURES
RIGHT NEXT TO THE
BALLOT BOX, OK?
HELLO. OH, HI, AUNT BETTY.
YEAH, IT'S ME.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU, MRS. G?
ME? YEAH.
OH, NOTHING MUCH.
WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT
THE FOUNDERS DAY PARADE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A
PETUNIA MADE OUT OF PASTA?
[LAUGHTER]
AUNT BETTY, IS SOMETHING WRONG?
WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT?
WHAT?
I THINK I SHOULD WEAR
TIGHTS INSTEAD OF STOCKINGS.
OR MAYBE I COULD PUT THE
TIGHTS OVER THE STOCKINGS.
THAT WAY, I HAVE AN OPTION.
EITHER ONE'S FINE, TOOTIE.
JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
I HATE THE WAY MY
HAIR CAME OUT TODAY.
TOOTIE, PLEASE. WE CAN'T BE
LATE FOR THIS SORT OF THING.
WHEN I SPOKE WITH MRS. GARRETT,
SHE SAID WE NEEDED TO BE AT
THE FUNERAL PARLOR AT 11:00.
DID SHE SAY HOW
NATALIE WAS DOING?
AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED.
I'M GLAD MRS. G WENT
WITH HER YESTERDAY.
I THINK THIS WHOLE LOOK IS
WRONG. I'M GONNA CHANGE.
TOOTIE, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I DON'T KNOW!
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO
A FUNERAL BEFORE.
NO KIDDING? I'VE
BEEN TO LOTS OF THEM.
ONE OF THE FRINGE BENEFITS
OF BEING A BRONX BARBARIAN.
IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, WE DIDN'T
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO THROW PARTIES,
SO WE GOT TOGETHER WHENEVER
THE SITUATION PRESENTED ITSELF.
JO, A FUNERAL IS NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE A SOCIAL EVENT.
IN MY CIRCLE, IT CAN BE
THE EVENT OF THE SEASON.
MOTHER'S FRIEND BUNNY MET
HER THIRD HUSBAND AT A FUNERAL.
OH, THAT'S TACKY.
I'LL SAY.
SHE WAS BURYING HER
SECOND HUSBAND AT THE TIME.
[LAUGHING]
I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD
HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS.
WHAT AM I GONNA SAY TO NATALIE?
THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN SAY
WHEN SOMEBODY'S FATHER DIES.
BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I MEAN, I WENT HOME
WITH NATALIE LAST MONTH,
AND DR. GREEN PLAYED
MONOPOLY WITH US.
WELL, SOMETIMES IT
HAPPENS THAT WAY, TOOTIE.
REAL FAST.
WHAT'S NATALIE GOING TO DO?
HOW'S SHE GOING TO
FEEL ON FATHER'S DAY?
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, WHEN I
THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE MY MOTHER,
I KEPT THINKING,
"WHO'S GONNA HELP ME
PICK OUT MY WEDDING DRESS?
"WHO'S GONNA GO WITH ME
WHEN I REGISTER AT TIFFANY'S?
WHO'S GOING TO BE
THERE... NO MATTER WHAT?"
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
SOMETIMES, YOU GET
SO MAD AT YOUR FOLKS,
AND YOU SAY, "I NEVER
WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN."
IT'S REAL EASY TO SAY
WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WILL.
BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!
PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED
TO GET OLD... REALLY OLD!
LOOK, TOOTIE, WE'VE GOT TO GO.
I'M ALL SET.
THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE
UNTIL YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.
COME ON, TOOTIE, LET'S GO.
[SUBDUED CHATTER]
ARE YOU OK, GRANDMA?
YES, DARLING. YES.
WHY DON'T YOU LET ME
GET YOU A GLASS OF WATER.
OH, THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.
OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
WOULD YOU WANT TO
PUT IT RIGHT ON THE TABLE?
EVIE, MRS. KRAVITZ WANTS HER NOODLE
PUDDING HEATED UP BEFORE SHE PUTS IT OUT.
FINE. EDNA, YOU'VE
BEEN A GODSEND.
I KNOW YOU CLOSED
THE STORE TO HELP US.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
I'LL STICK AROUND HERE
AS LONG AS YOU NEED ME.
HERE, YOU GO, GRANDMA.
OH, THANK YOU, DARLING.
HI, GIRLS.
HEY, TOOTIE, HOW YOU DOING?
ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER
FUNERAL FOR A LONG TIME.
YEAH.
SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
I'M GONNA OFFER MY
CONDOLENCES TO THE FAMILY.
YOU NEED ANY HELP?
OH, THANKS, THINGS ARE
IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE.
WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME
ONE MINUTE, PLEASE? SURE.
JO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
SAY. WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY?
JUST TELL THEM HOW SORRY
YOU ARE ABOUT EVERYTHING.
BUT I SAID ALL THAT
AT THE FUNERAL.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, TOOTIE.
JUST LISTEN TO THE
GUY IN FRONT OF YOU.
SAY WHAT HE SAYS.
I'M GOING TO MISS THOSE
WEDNESDAY GOLF GAMES.
SY ALWAYS BEAT ME,
BUT HE NEVER GLOATED.
AND HE NEVER LOOKED WHEN I
THREW MY BALL OUT OF THE SAND TRAP.
HE ALWAYS LET ME HAVE AS
MANY MULLIGANS AS I NEEDED.
KING'S RIDGE GOLF CLUB
HAS LOST A GREAT MAN.
UH... DR. GREEN AND I
NEVER PLAYED GOLF.
BUT YOU PLAYED MONOPOLY ONCE,
AND YOU BEAT THE PANTS OFF HIM.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
UH, GRANDMA, YOU
REMEMBER TOOTIE AND JO.
YES, YES, OF COURSE.
THANKS FOR COMING.
SURE. THANK YOU.
MRS. GREEN.
JO, THANK YOU FOR
COMING. YES, THANK YOU.
NAT.
IT WAS A LOVELY
SERVICE, WASN'T IT?
YEAH, IT WAS REAL NICE.
YOU KNOW, THEY SAID IT
WAS SUPPOSED TO RAIN TODAY.
I'M GLAD IT DIDN'T.
YEAH. WE'LL SEE
YOU LATER, ALL RIGHT?
OH, HI. I'M EDNA GARRETT.
WE MET AT THE FUNERAL PARLOR.
OH, YES, I REMEMBER.
CAN I TAKE THIS FOR YOU?
I THOUGHT A LITTLE STUFFED
CABBAGE WOULD HELP.
OH, IT ALWAYS DOES.
YOU KNOW WHAT I
DON'T UNDERSTAND?
HOW COME THERE ARE NO FLOWERS?
I MEAN, WHEN SOMEBODY DIES,
PEOPLE USUALLY SEND FLOWERS.
NOT TO A SHIVA HOUSE.
WHAT'S SHIVA?
SHIVA IS THE JEWISH
PERIOD OF MOURNING,
AND THE FAMILY FOLLOWS
CERTAIN CUSTOMS,
YOU KNOW, LIKE WEARING
THAT BLACK RIBBON.
AND THERE'S NO
MUSIC OR TV ALLOWED.
I WONDER WHAT THAT IS.
IT'S A MIRROR, BUT
IN A SHIVA HOUSE,
ALL THE MIRRORS ARE COVERED.
WHY?
'CAUSE THEY'RE A
SYMBOL OF VANITY, BLAIR,
AND THEY'RE OUT OF PLACE
IN A HOUSE OF MOURNING.
I'M IN A HOUSE WITHOUT MIRRORS?
DON'T WORRY, BLAIR.
YOU CAN SEE
YOURSELF IN THE DISHES.
MMMM! SMELLS GOOD.
HI. IT WAS A LOVELY
FUNERAL, WASN'T IT?
DON'T YOU GUYS WANT
SOMETHING TO EAT?
UH... NOT YET.
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
REALLY TRY THE PATE.
IT MAKES MRS. GARRETT'S
LOOK LIKE CHOPPED LIVER.
IS THE APARTMENT
A LITTLE TOO WARM?
YOU TWO HAVE NEVER BEEN
HERE BEFORE, HAVE YOU?
WELL, DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE TOOTIE
CAN SHOW YOU WHERE THE BATHROOMS ARE.
NATALIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
SURE.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU
SIT IN THIS CHAIR,
YOU CAN SMELL
DAD'S PIPE TOBACCO.
WHENEVER I'D WALK INTO
THE APARTMENT AND SMELL IT,
I'D ALWAYS KNOW HE WAS HOME.
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE A PARTY.
PEOPLE ARE TALKING AND EATING.
IT'S LIKE THE ONLY REASON DAD'S
NOT HERE IS, WE RAN OUT OF ICE,
AND HE WENT TO THE
STORE TO GET MORE.
I FEEL LIKE HE'LL BE WALKING
THROUGH THAT DOOR ANY MINUTE.
WELL, I'M GONNA GO CHECK
THINGS IN THE KITCHEN.
I'M GONNA GO CHECK
THINGS IN THE KITCHEN.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT HER.
SO AM I.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING, MONA?
YOU KNOW, EDNA, THIS
THING ABOUT RAISING SONS...
SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BREAKING.
A CHAIR, A DISH, AN ARM.
OH, YES, I KNOW.
I DON'T THINK, BETWEEN THEM,
MY SONS HAVE ONE BONE
THAT HASN'T BEEN SET.
MY SON, HE SPENT SO MUCH
TIME IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
MAYBE THAT'S WHY
HE BECAME A DOCTOR.
[LAUGHING]
AND FROM WHAT I HEAR,
HE WAS ONE OF THE BEST.
A HEART ATTACK.
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD
LIVE TO SEE THAT DAY.
I KNOW.
IT'S A SIN FOR A PARENT
TO OUTLIVE A CHILD.
IT'S A SIN AGAINST NATURE.
MONA, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO LIE DOWN FOR A WHILE?
I THINK SO, YES.
OH, MORE NOODLE PUDDING?
YEAH, THIS STUFF IS GREAT.
THAT'S MINE, THAT'S HERS.
SHE PUTS HERS UP
FRONT SO IT'LL GO FASTER.
THEY CAN ALWAYS REACH OVER
TO GET YOURS IF THEY WANT IT.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE
GIVE HER A LITTLE OF BOTH?
OH.
GO AHEAD, DEAR. TASTE BOTH.
CAREFUL, DEAR, YOU COULD
LAY BRICKS WITH THAT ONE.
WHY DON'T YOU LET THE
GIRL DECIDE, FLORENCE.
GO AHEAD, TASTE.
WHAT IS THIS... THE
PEPSI CHALLENGE?
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL GO
AND GET MY BLINDFOLD.
WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU, TOOTIE?
NOTHING, I'M FINE.
YOU LOOK A LITTLE HUNGRY.
LET ME FIX YOU A PLATE.
NAT, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WAIT ON ME.
I'M NOT. YES, YOU ARE.
YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF EVERYBODY.
WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU?
TOOTIE... THIS IS SO TERRIBLE.
NAT, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,
BUT I KNOW IT'S TERRIBLE,
AND I'M SORRY, NATALIE.
TOOTIE, WHAT DOES
THIS LOOK LIKE?
A ROLL.
NO, A FLOWER. A BEGONIA.
WHAT?
WE CAN USE THESE ON
OUR FOUNDERS DAY FLOAT.
YOU KNOW, 24 HOURS AGO,
THAT FLOAT WAS THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
AROUND THE APARTMENT.
THERE'S SOME WONDERFUL
ARTWORK IN HERE.
OH, THANKS. YOU KNOW,
FOR THEIR 25th ANNIVERSARY,
DAD BOUGHT MOM A REAL CHAGALL.
YEAH, I SAW IT IN
THE LIVING ROOM.
WHY DON'T WE GO SEE IT AGAIN?
SURE.
COMING, TOOTIE?
UH, I'LL BE IN IN A MINUTE.
BYE. BYE.
BYE. BYE.
YOU KNOW, JO, I
FEEL KIND OF TIRED.
IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY.
IT FEELS LIKE I HAVEN'T
SAT DOWN IN HOURS.
HONEY, DR. PERKINS HAS TO
CATCH A PLANE BACK TO CHICAGO.
GOOD-BYE, NATALIE.
IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU.
I WISH I COULD STAY LONGER,
BUT I'VE GOT TO BE IN SURGERY
TOMORROW MORNING AT 7:00.
OH, I'M SORRY. HAVE YOU TWO MET?
NO. OH, THIS IS MY FRIEND JO.
DR. PERKINS. HI, JO.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
IT'S A PLEASURE.
STEVEN DID HIS RESIDENCY
UNDER MY HUSBAND.
SY TOOK A SPECIAL
INTEREST IN HIM.
YEAH, I USED TO TELL SY
HE WAS LIKE A FATHER TO ME,
AND HE'D GET FURIOUS.
HE SAID HE ONLY LOOKED OLD
ENOUGH TO BE MY BROTHER.
[LAUGHING]
HE WAS SO PROUD OF
YOUR SUCCESS. YEAH.
IT'S HARD TO REALIZE I'M NOT
GOING TO BE ABLE TO PICK UP A PHONE
AND GET HIS ADVICE OR
JUST SHOOT THE BREEZE.
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW
EVERYBODY USED TO TEASE SY
ABOUT CARRYING THAT
BATTERED OLD BRIEFCASE?
PEOPLE WERE ALWAYS
BUYING HIM NEW ONES,
BUT HE NEVER USED THEM.
I KNOW. I SENT HIM
ONE A FEW YEARS BACK.
OH, AND HE REALLY LIKED IT.
OH, SURE. YEAH.
BUT AFTER 25 YEARS, THE
LEATHER ON THE OLD ONE
WAS JUST STARTING
TO GET BROKEN IN.
I FEEL THE SAME WAY
ABOUT MY MOTORCYCLE SEAT.
IT'S JUST STARTING TO FIT MY...
[LAUGHING]
YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN. YEAH, YEAH.
STEVEN, I'D LIKE YOU
TO HAVE THAT BRIEFCASE.
EVIE.
AND I'M SURE SY WOULD
FEEL THE SAME WAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOUR FATHER TAUGHT
ME EVERYTHING I KNOW.
IT'S A TERRIBLE LOSS.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WHAT?
YOU CAN'T GIVE HIM
DAD'S BRIEFCASE.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE IT'S DAD'S BRIEFCASE!
BUT IT WOULD MEAN
SO MUCH TO STEVEN.
I DON'T CARE!
FIRST YOU GIVE
AWAY HIS BRIEFCASE,
THEN HIS BOOKS AND HIS CLOTHES.
AND HIS SHOES AND HIS
PIPES AND HIS COLOGNE.
MOTHER!
AND SOON THE CLOSETS AND
THE DRAWERS WILL BE EMPTY.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
I HAVE TO.
NATALIE, I CAN'T HOLD ONTO
THESE THINGS FOREVER.
WHY NOT? BECAUSE HE'S NOT
COMING BACK TO USE THEM.
STOP THAT! DON'T SAY THAT!
NATALIE! STOP IT!
NO, LISTEN TO ME!
YOUR FATHER IS DEAD.
IT'S A TERRIBLE THING,
BUT IT'S WHAT'S HAPPENED.
HE HAD NO RIGHT! HOW
COULD HE DO THAT?
HOW COULD HE JUST
LEAVE US LIKE THAT?
OH, HONEY, I KNOW, I KNOW.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S GONE.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITHOUT HIM?
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO US?
MOM, I'M SO SCARED.
OH, BABY. OH.
IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
AW, SHH, BABY.
OH, I LOVE YOU.
UM, WE'RE GONNA START
ON BACK, MRS. GARRETT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE STORE.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.
THANKS A LOT, GIRLS, AND
I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW
AND TELL YOU JUST
WHEN I'LL BE COMING HOME.
MRS. G, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH ME? HMM?
I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND
WITH THIS FUNNY FEELING
IN MY STOMACH ALL DAY.
OH, TOOTIE, THIS WHOLE
THING HAS HIT ALL OF US
VERY CLOSE TO HOME,
AND EVERYONE REACTS TO
DEATH A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.
YEAH, LOOK AT ME.
AN ENTIRE FAMILY
COULD LIVE FOR A YEAR
ON WHAT I ATE HERE.
EVERYTHING I DID
TODAY WAS WRONG.
EVERY TIME I OPENED MY MOUTH,
I STUCK MY FOOT IN IT.
I DOUBT THAT, TOOTIE.
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS, YOU WERE HERE.
WELL, EVERYBODY'S GONE...
UNTIL TOMORROW, WHEN
IT STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN.
DOES THAT MEAN THOSE LADIES
ARE GONNA BE BRINGING
MORE NOODLE PUDDING?
NOT IF WE'RE LUCKY.
OH, I JUST REALIZED,
WE HAVEN'T HAD
ANYTHING TO EAT ALL DAY.
WHAT? WELL, COME ON INSIDE.
I'LL FIX YOU SOMETHING.
I'LL BE IN IN A MINUTE.
WELL, UH... WE'RE OFF.
I'M GLAD YOU GUYS COULD
STICK AROUND FOR SO LONG.
UH...
JUST CALL US IF... IF
YOU NEED ANYTHING, OR...
IF YOU JUST WANT TO TALK.
[SIGHING] THANKS.
NAT...
NAT, I WANT YOU TO BE OKAY.
I WANT YOU TO COME BACK
TO SCHOOL, REAL SOON,
SO THAT EVERYTHING
CAN BE LIKE IT WAS.
YOU KNOW, NAT, UH...
YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS
GONNA FEEL THIS BAD.
IT TAKES TIME.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER.
WELL...
FOR NOW, I'LL JUST HAVE TO
TAKE YOUR WORD FOR THAT.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE FUN OF
MANAGING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR THEM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET THEM RIGHT,
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE,
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE,
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
WELL, I THINK I CAN GET
RID OF THIS EYE LINER.
IT'S PRACTICALLY
TURNED INTO TAR.
WAIT A SEC. IF IT'S
BLACK, I'LL TAKE IT.
OK, BUT I THINK A SOFT BROWN
WOULDN'T MAKE YOU LOOK QUITE AS CHEAP.
IT'S FOR MY BOOT, BLAIR.
SEE, I SCUFFED IT OVER HERE,
AND THE POLISH ISN'T WORKING.
LUCKY FOR ME, YOUR
MAKE-UP COVERS EVERYTHING.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
GIRLS, I DID IT!
I JUST SIGNED US
UP TO HAVE A FLOAT
IN THE FOUNDERS DAY PARADE.
ALL RIGHT! GREAT!
UH, HOLD THE PHONE HERE, MRS. G.
I AM NOT MARCHING DOWN
THE STREET WITH SOME TUBA.
WELL, NEITHER AM I.
I'M TALKING ABOUT A FLOAT.
A FLOAT?
THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
I HATE IT. I HATE PARADES.
NO, YOU DON'T.
NOBODY HATES PARADES.
I DO... THEY'RE NOISY, THEY'RE
DIRTY, AND THEY'RE CROWDED.
AND A LOT OF PUBLICITY
FOR EDNA'S EDIBLES.
MRS. G, YOU WANT PUBLICITY?
HIRE THE GOODYEAR BLIMP.
I GOT AN IDEA.
WE'LL MAKE ALL THE FOOD WE SELL
OUT OF FLOWERS. WONDERFUL, TOOTIE.
WE'LL MAKE HUNDREDS OF
CHEESE PUFFS OUT OF MUMS!
YEAH! MRS. G...
UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING
TO HIJACK A FLORIST,
THAT FLOAT IS GONNA
COST YOU A FORTUNE.
FLOWERS DON'T GROW ON TREES.
I GUESS.
OH, THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME WAY
WE CAN WORK THIS THING OUT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF WE CAN'T MAKE CHEESE
PUFFS OUT OF FLOWERS,
LET'S MAKE FLOWERS
OUT OF CHEESE PUFFS.
THAT'S DUMB.
NO, LISTEN TO HER.
ALL OF NATALIE'S GOOD
IDEAS SOUND DUMB.
THANK YOU.
THE STORE IS EDNA'S
EDIBLES, RIGHT? RIGHT.
SO WHY NOT MAKE AN EDIBLE FLOAT?
LIKE, IF YOU WERE TO
MAKE A SUNFLOWER,
YOU WOULD USE
CROISSANTS FOR THE PETALS.
AND QUICHE FOR THE MIDDLE.
OH, NATALIE, YOU'RE A GENIUS!
YEAH, WELL...
HEY, WE CAN MAKE THE
GRASS OUT OF SPINACH PASTA.
AND I CAN BE THE
QUEEN OF THE FLOAT.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL MAKE
YOU OUT OF SOURDOUGH.
WAIT A SECOND. WHY
SHOULD YOU BE QUEEN?
WELL, FOR ONE THING,
I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO
HAS HER OWN TIARA.
I'LL WEAR A BALL GOWN
AND CARRY A SCEPTER
AND WAVE MAJESTICALLY
TO MY LOYAL SUBJECTS.
AND WHAT DO WE DO? STAND BEHIND
YOU GOING, "DOO-WAH, DOO-WAH?"
YOU CAN WAVE, TOO.
IT'S JUST THAT EVERY
FLOAT NEEDS A QUEEN,
AND I DO HAVE THE CREDENTIALS.
AFTER ALL... WE KNOW, BLAIR.
YOU WERE ELECTED
EASTLAND'S HARVEST QUEEN
THREE YEARS IN A ROW!
THREE YEARS IN A ROW!
EACH YEAR BY A LANDSLIDE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
PUT IT TO A VOTE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL THOSE IN FAVOR
OF ME BEING FLOAT QUEEN,
RAISE YOUR HAND.
I DON'T MEAN US, BLAIR.
I MEAN WE'LL HAVE A CONTEST
AND LET THE CUSTOMERS VOTE,
AND THE WINNER WILL BE...
I DON'T KNOW,
UH... MISS EDIBLES!
MRS. GARRETT, YOU'RE A GENIUS!
YEAH, WELL...
LOOK, I HAVE NO OBJECTION
TO GOING THROUGH THE
MOTIONS OF AN ELECTION.
THANK YOU, EVITA.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE
THE STORE DOESN'T GET SUED.
FOR WHAT?
WELL, WHEN YOU HOLD AN ELECTION,
AND YOU ALREADY KNOW
WHO THE WINNER'S GONNA BE,
DOESN'T THAT CONSTITUTE FRAUD?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
NO, ALL THAT
CONSTITUTES IS CONCEIT.
[RINGING]
NOW, WE'LL DISPLAY
ALL OF YOUR PICTURES
RIGHT NEXT TO THE
BALLOT BOX, OK?
HELLO. OH, HI, AUNT BETTY.
YEAH, IT'S ME.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU, MRS. G?
ME? YEAH.
OH, NOTHING MUCH.
WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT
THE FOUNDERS DAY PARADE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A
PETUNIA MADE OUT OF PASTA?
[LAUGHTER]
AUNT BETTY, IS SOMETHING WRONG?
WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT?
WHAT?
I THINK I SHOULD WEAR
TIGHTS INSTEAD OF STOCKINGS.
OR MAYBE I COULD PUT THE
TIGHTS OVER THE STOCKINGS.
THAT WAY, I HAVE AN OPTION.
EITHER ONE'S FINE, TOOTIE.
JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
I HATE THE WAY MY
HAIR CAME OUT TODAY.
TOOTIE, PLEASE. WE CAN'T BE
LATE FOR THIS SORT OF THING.
WHEN I SPOKE WITH MRS. GARRETT,
SHE SAID WE NEEDED TO BE AT
THE FUNERAL PARLOR AT 11:00.
DID SHE SAY HOW
NATALIE WAS DOING?
AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED.
I'M GLAD MRS. G WENT
WITH HER YESTERDAY.
I THINK THIS WHOLE LOOK IS
WRONG. I'M GONNA CHANGE.
TOOTIE, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I DON'T KNOW!
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO
A FUNERAL BEFORE.
NO KIDDING? I'VE
BEEN TO LOTS OF THEM.
ONE OF THE FRINGE BENEFITS
OF BEING A BRONX BARBARIAN.
IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, WE DIDN'T
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO THROW PARTIES,
SO WE GOT TOGETHER WHENEVER
THE SITUATION PRESENTED ITSELF.
JO, A FUNERAL IS NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE A SOCIAL EVENT.
IN MY CIRCLE, IT CAN BE
THE EVENT OF THE SEASON.
MOTHER'S FRIEND BUNNY MET
HER THIRD HUSBAND AT A FUNERAL.
OH, THAT'S TACKY.
I'LL SAY.
SHE WAS BURYING HER
SECOND HUSBAND AT THE TIME.
[LAUGHING]
I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD
HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS.
WHAT AM I GONNA SAY TO NATALIE?
THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN SAY
WHEN SOMEBODY'S FATHER DIES.
BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I MEAN, I WENT HOME
WITH NATALIE LAST MONTH,
AND DR. GREEN PLAYED
MONOPOLY WITH US.
WELL, SOMETIMES IT
HAPPENS THAT WAY, TOOTIE.
REAL FAST.
WHAT'S NATALIE GOING TO DO?
HOW'S SHE GOING TO
FEEL ON FATHER'S DAY?
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, WHEN I
THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE MY MOTHER,
I KEPT THINKING,
"WHO'S GONNA HELP ME
PICK OUT MY WEDDING DRESS?
"WHO'S GONNA GO WITH ME
WHEN I REGISTER AT TIFFANY'S?
WHO'S GOING TO BE
THERE... NO MATTER WHAT?"
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
SOMETIMES, YOU GET
SO MAD AT YOUR FOLKS,
AND YOU SAY, "I NEVER
WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN."
IT'S REAL EASY TO SAY
WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WILL.
BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!
PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED
TO GET OLD... REALLY OLD!
LOOK, TOOTIE, WE'VE GOT TO GO.
I'M ALL SET.
THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE
UNTIL YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.
COME ON, TOOTIE, LET'S GO.
[SUBDUED CHATTER]
ARE YOU OK, GRANDMA?
YES, DARLING. YES.
WHY DON'T YOU LET ME
GET YOU A GLASS OF WATER.
OH, THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.
OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
WOULD YOU WANT TO
PUT IT RIGHT ON THE TABLE?
EVIE, MRS. KRAVITZ WANTS HER NOODLE
PUDDING HEATED UP BEFORE SHE PUTS IT OUT.
FINE. EDNA, YOU'VE
BEEN A GODSEND.
I KNOW YOU CLOSED
THE STORE TO HELP US.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
I'LL STICK AROUND HERE
AS LONG AS YOU NEED ME.
HERE, YOU GO, GRANDMA.
OH, THANK YOU, DARLING.
HI, GIRLS.
HEY, TOOTIE, HOW YOU DOING?
ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER
FUNERAL FOR A LONG TIME.
YEAH.
SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
I'M GONNA OFFER MY
CONDOLENCES TO THE FAMILY.
YOU NEED ANY HELP?
OH, THANKS, THINGS ARE
IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE.
WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME
ONE MINUTE, PLEASE? SURE.
JO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
SAY. WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY?
JUST TELL THEM HOW SORRY
YOU ARE ABOUT EVERYTHING.
BUT I SAID ALL THAT
AT THE FUNERAL.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, TOOTIE.
JUST LISTEN TO THE
GUY IN FRONT OF YOU.
SAY WHAT HE SAYS.
I'M GOING TO MISS THOSE
WEDNESDAY GOLF GAMES.
SY ALWAYS BEAT ME,
BUT HE NEVER GLOATED.
AND HE NEVER LOOKED WHEN I
THREW MY BALL OUT OF THE SAND TRAP.
HE ALWAYS LET ME HAVE AS
MANY MULLIGANS AS I NEEDED.
KING'S RIDGE GOLF CLUB
HAS LOST A GREAT MAN.
UH... DR. GREEN AND I
NEVER PLAYED GOLF.
BUT YOU PLAYED MONOPOLY ONCE,
AND YOU BEAT THE PANTS OFF HIM.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
UH, GRANDMA, YOU
REMEMBER TOOTIE AND JO.
YES, YES, OF COURSE.
THANKS FOR COMING.
SURE. THANK YOU.
MRS. GREEN.
JO, THANK YOU FOR
COMING. YES, THANK YOU.
NAT.
IT WAS A LOVELY
SERVICE, WASN'T IT?
YEAH, IT WAS REAL NICE.
YOU KNOW, THEY SAID IT
WAS SUPPOSED TO RAIN TODAY.
I'M GLAD IT DIDN'T.
YEAH. WE'LL SEE
YOU LATER, ALL RIGHT?
OH, HI. I'M EDNA GARRETT.
WE MET AT THE FUNERAL PARLOR.
OH, YES, I REMEMBER.
CAN I TAKE THIS FOR YOU?
I THOUGHT A LITTLE STUFFED
CABBAGE WOULD HELP.
OH, IT ALWAYS DOES.
YOU KNOW WHAT I
DON'T UNDERSTAND?
HOW COME THERE ARE NO FLOWERS?
I MEAN, WHEN SOMEBODY DIES,
PEOPLE USUALLY SEND FLOWERS.
NOT TO A SHIVA HOUSE.
WHAT'S SHIVA?
SHIVA IS THE JEWISH
PERIOD OF MOURNING,
AND THE FAMILY FOLLOWS
CERTAIN CUSTOMS,
YOU KNOW, LIKE WEARING
THAT BLACK RIBBON.
AND THERE'S NO
MUSIC OR TV ALLOWED.
I WONDER WHAT THAT IS.
IT'S A MIRROR, BUT
IN A SHIVA HOUSE,
ALL THE MIRRORS ARE COVERED.
WHY?
'CAUSE THEY'RE A
SYMBOL OF VANITY, BLAIR,
AND THEY'RE OUT OF PLACE
IN A HOUSE OF MOURNING.
I'M IN A HOUSE WITHOUT MIRRORS?
DON'T WORRY, BLAIR.
YOU CAN SEE
YOURSELF IN THE DISHES.
MMMM! SMELLS GOOD.
HI. IT WAS A LOVELY
FUNERAL, WASN'T IT?
DON'T YOU GUYS WANT
SOMETHING TO EAT?
UH... NOT YET.
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
REALLY TRY THE PATE.
IT MAKES MRS. GARRETT'S
LOOK LIKE CHOPPED LIVER.
IS THE APARTMENT
A LITTLE TOO WARM?
YOU TWO HAVE NEVER BEEN
HERE BEFORE, HAVE YOU?
WELL, DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE TOOTIE
CAN SHOW YOU WHERE THE BATHROOMS ARE.
NATALIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
SURE.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU
SIT IN THIS CHAIR,
YOU CAN SMELL
DAD'S PIPE TOBACCO.
WHENEVER I'D WALK INTO
THE APARTMENT AND SMELL IT,
I'D ALWAYS KNOW HE WAS HOME.
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE A PARTY.
PEOPLE ARE TALKING AND EATING.
IT'S LIKE THE ONLY REASON DAD'S
NOT HERE IS, WE RAN OUT OF ICE,
AND HE WENT TO THE
STORE TO GET MORE.
I FEEL LIKE HE'LL BE WALKING
THROUGH THAT DOOR ANY MINUTE.
WELL, I'M GONNA GO CHECK
THINGS IN THE KITCHEN.
I'M GONNA GO CHECK
THINGS IN THE KITCHEN.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT HER.
SO AM I.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING, MONA?
YOU KNOW, EDNA, THIS
THING ABOUT RAISING SONS...
SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BREAKING.
A CHAIR, A DISH, AN ARM.
OH, YES, I KNOW.
I DON'T THINK, BETWEEN THEM,
MY SONS HAVE ONE BONE
THAT HASN'T BEEN SET.
MY SON, HE SPENT SO MUCH
TIME IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
MAYBE THAT'S WHY
HE BECAME A DOCTOR.
[LAUGHING]
AND FROM WHAT I HEAR,
HE WAS ONE OF THE BEST.
A HEART ATTACK.
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD
LIVE TO SEE THAT DAY.
I KNOW.
IT'S A SIN FOR A PARENT
TO OUTLIVE A CHILD.
IT'S A SIN AGAINST NATURE.
MONA, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO LIE DOWN FOR A WHILE?
I THINK SO, YES.
OH, MORE NOODLE PUDDING?
YEAH, THIS STUFF IS GREAT.
THAT'S MINE, THAT'S HERS.
SHE PUTS HERS UP
FRONT SO IT'LL GO FASTER.
THEY CAN ALWAYS REACH OVER
TO GET YOURS IF THEY WANT IT.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE
GIVE HER A LITTLE OF BOTH?
OH.
GO AHEAD, DEAR. TASTE BOTH.
CAREFUL, DEAR, YOU COULD
LAY BRICKS WITH THAT ONE.
WHY DON'T YOU LET THE
GIRL DECIDE, FLORENCE.
GO AHEAD, TASTE.
WHAT IS THIS... THE
PEPSI CHALLENGE?
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL GO
AND GET MY BLINDFOLD.
WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU, TOOTIE?
NOTHING, I'M FINE.
YOU LOOK A LITTLE HUNGRY.
LET ME FIX YOU A PLATE.
NAT, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WAIT ON ME.
I'M NOT. YES, YOU ARE.
YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF EVERYBODY.
WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU?
TOOTIE... THIS IS SO TERRIBLE.
NAT, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,
BUT I KNOW IT'S TERRIBLE,
AND I'M SORRY, NATALIE.
TOOTIE, WHAT DOES
THIS LOOK LIKE?
A ROLL.
NO, A FLOWER. A BEGONIA.
WHAT?
WE CAN USE THESE ON
OUR FOUNDERS DAY FLOAT.
YOU KNOW, 24 HOURS AGO,
THAT FLOAT WAS THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
AROUND THE APARTMENT.
THERE'S SOME WONDERFUL
ARTWORK IN HERE.
OH, THANKS. YOU KNOW,
FOR THEIR 25th ANNIVERSARY,
DAD BOUGHT MOM A REAL CHAGALL.
YEAH, I SAW IT IN
THE LIVING ROOM.
WHY DON'T WE GO SEE IT AGAIN?
SURE.
COMING, TOOTIE?
UH, I'LL BE IN IN A MINUTE.
BYE. BYE.
BYE. BYE.
YOU KNOW, JO, I
FEEL KIND OF TIRED.
IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY.
IT FEELS LIKE I HAVEN'T
SAT DOWN IN HOURS.
HONEY, DR. PERKINS HAS TO
CATCH A PLANE BACK TO CHICAGO.
GOOD-BYE, NATALIE.
IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU.
I WISH I COULD STAY LONGER,
BUT I'VE GOT TO BE IN SURGERY
TOMORROW MORNING AT 7:00.
OH, I'M SORRY. HAVE YOU TWO MET?
NO. OH, THIS IS MY FRIEND JO.
DR. PERKINS. HI, JO.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
IT'S A PLEASURE.
STEVEN DID HIS RESIDENCY
UNDER MY HUSBAND.
SY TOOK A SPECIAL
INTEREST IN HIM.
YEAH, I USED TO TELL SY
HE WAS LIKE A FATHER TO ME,
AND HE'D GET FURIOUS.
HE SAID HE ONLY LOOKED OLD
ENOUGH TO BE MY BROTHER.
[LAUGHING]
HE WAS SO PROUD OF
YOUR SUCCESS. YEAH.
IT'S HARD TO REALIZE I'M NOT
GOING TO BE ABLE TO PICK UP A PHONE
AND GET HIS ADVICE OR
JUST SHOOT THE BREEZE.
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW
EVERYBODY USED TO TEASE SY
ABOUT CARRYING THAT
BATTERED OLD BRIEFCASE?
PEOPLE WERE ALWAYS
BUYING HIM NEW ONES,
BUT HE NEVER USED THEM.
I KNOW. I SENT HIM
ONE A FEW YEARS BACK.
OH, AND HE REALLY LIKED IT.
OH, SURE. YEAH.
BUT AFTER 25 YEARS, THE
LEATHER ON THE OLD ONE
WAS JUST STARTING
TO GET BROKEN IN.
I FEEL THE SAME WAY
ABOUT MY MOTORCYCLE SEAT.
IT'S JUST STARTING TO FIT MY...
[LAUGHING]
YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN. YEAH, YEAH.
STEVEN, I'D LIKE YOU
TO HAVE THAT BRIEFCASE.
EVIE.
AND I'M SURE SY WOULD
FEEL THE SAME WAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOUR FATHER TAUGHT
ME EVERYTHING I KNOW.
IT'S A TERRIBLE LOSS.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WHAT?
YOU CAN'T GIVE HIM
DAD'S BRIEFCASE.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE IT'S DAD'S BRIEFCASE!
BUT IT WOULD MEAN
SO MUCH TO STEVEN.
I DON'T CARE!
FIRST YOU GIVE
AWAY HIS BRIEFCASE,
THEN HIS BOOKS AND HIS CLOTHES.
AND HIS SHOES AND HIS
PIPES AND HIS COLOGNE.
MOTHER!
AND SOON THE CLOSETS AND
THE DRAWERS WILL BE EMPTY.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
I HAVE TO.
NATALIE, I CAN'T HOLD ONTO
THESE THINGS FOREVER.
WHY NOT? BECAUSE HE'S NOT
COMING BACK TO USE THEM.
STOP THAT! DON'T SAY THAT!
NATALIE! STOP IT!
NO, LISTEN TO ME!
YOUR FATHER IS DEAD.
IT'S A TERRIBLE THING,
BUT IT'S WHAT'S HAPPENED.
HE HAD NO RIGHT! HOW
COULD HE DO THAT?
HOW COULD HE JUST
LEAVE US LIKE THAT?
OH, HONEY, I KNOW, I KNOW.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S GONE.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITHOUT HIM?
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO US?
MOM, I'M SO SCARED.
OH, BABY. OH.
IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
AW, SHH, BABY.
OH, I LOVE YOU.
UM, WE'RE GONNA START
ON BACK, MRS. GARRETT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE STORE.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.
THANKS A LOT, GIRLS, AND
I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW
AND TELL YOU JUST
WHEN I'LL BE COMING HOME.
MRS. G, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH ME? HMM?
I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND
WITH THIS FUNNY FEELING
IN MY STOMACH ALL DAY.
OH, TOOTIE, THIS WHOLE
THING HAS HIT ALL OF US
VERY CLOSE TO HOME,
AND EVERYONE REACTS TO
DEATH A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.
YEAH, LOOK AT ME.
AN ENTIRE FAMILY
COULD LIVE FOR A YEAR
ON WHAT I ATE HERE.
EVERYTHING I DID
TODAY WAS WRONG.
EVERY TIME I OPENED MY MOUTH,
I STUCK MY FOOT IN IT.
I DOUBT THAT, TOOTIE.
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS, YOU WERE HERE.
WELL, EVERYBODY'S GONE...
UNTIL TOMORROW, WHEN
IT STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN.
DOES THAT MEAN THOSE LADIES
ARE GONNA BE BRINGING
MORE NOODLE PUDDING?
NOT IF WE'RE LUCKY.
OH, I JUST REALIZED,
WE HAVEN'T HAD
ANYTHING TO EAT ALL DAY.
WHAT? WELL, COME ON INSIDE.
I'LL FIX YOU SOMETHING.
I'LL BE IN IN A MINUTE.
WELL, UH... WE'RE OFF.
I'M GLAD YOU GUYS COULD
STICK AROUND FOR SO LONG.
UH...
JUST CALL US IF... IF
YOU NEED ANYTHING, OR...
IF YOU JUST WANT TO TALK.
[SIGHING] THANKS.
NAT...
NAT, I WANT YOU TO BE OKAY.
I WANT YOU TO COME BACK
TO SCHOOL, REAL SOON,
SO THAT EVERYTHING
CAN BE LIKE IT WAS.
YOU KNOW, NAT, UH...
YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS
GONNA FEEL THIS BAD.
IT TAKES TIME.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER.
WELL...
FOR NOW, I'LL JUST HAVE TO
TAKE YOUR WORD FOR THAT.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE FUN OF
MANAGING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR THEM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET THEM RIGHT,
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪