The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 5, Episode 14 - Next Door - full transcript
Mrs. Garrett and the girls befriend a little boy whose single mother doesn't have time to take care of him.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
[MUSIC PLAYING NUTCRACKER SUITE]
[BANG BANG BANG]
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT NOISE?
THIS IS RIDIC...
HEY, IT STOPPED.
UNTIL TOMORROW. SAME
TIME, SAME CHANNEL.
IT'S AMAZING, THE BOILER
WAS PERFECTLY QUIET
WHEN WE CHECKED THIS PLACE OUT.
NATALIE, THAT'S THE
FIRST RULE OF REAL ESTATE.
NOTHING GOES WRONG UNTIL
AFTER YOU SIGN THE PAPERS.
I DON'T GET IT.
JO SAID SHE FIXED
THE WATER HEATER YESTERDAY.
SHE SAID SHE FIXED THE
WASHING MACHINE, TOO.
BUT NOW, WE HAVE A
PERPETUAL RINSE CYCLE.
I THINK IT'S TIME TO CALL
A PROFESSIONAL PLUMBER.
I BETTER CALL ONE
BEFORE I REMEMBER
HOW MUCH THEY CHARGE AN HOUR.
I'VE GOT A SURPRISE.
GUESS WHAT?
THE CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL
TEAM IS DYING TO MEET YOU.
WELL, YES, BUT THAT'S
HARDLY A SURPRISE.
THE CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL
TEAM IS DYING TO MEET ME?
WELL, TELL HIM TO FORGET IT.
'CAUSE I WANT BRAINS!
I GUESS YOU DON'T
WANT TO HEAR MY NEWS.
OKAY, WHAT?
YOU AND TOOTIE WANTED TO
SEE BARYSHNIKOV IN "SWAN LAKE?"
I'D GO SEE HIM IN ANY LAKE.
YOU GOT THE TICKETS?
THERE'S STILL MAGIC
IN THE WARNER NAME.
WE GOT SIXTH ROW, ONLY
TWO SEATS OFF THE CENTER.
TWO SEATS OFF?
I WOULDN'T GO.
I COULD HAVE GOTTEN
THE EXACT MIDDLE SEATS,
BUT THE MAYOR HAS THOSE,
I DIDN'T WANNA THROW
HIM OUT, IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY.
YOU'RE ALL HEART.
THOSE TICKETS ARE
IMPOSSIBLE TO GET.
BLAIR, YOU'RE A MIRACLE WORKER!
I KNOW.
AND I EVEN GOT THEM
AT A STUDENT DISCOUNT.
ONLY $40 EACH.
40 BUCKS?
ALL MY CLOTHES PUT
TOGETHER COST LESS THAN THAT.
WE CAN SEE THAT, DEAR.
THERE'S SO MANY
PLUMBERS IN PEEKSKILL.
IT MUST BE A VERY LEAKY TOWN.
WHAT DO YOU NEED A PLUMBER FOR?
YOU MISSED THE
3:15 BOILER CONCERT.
I FIXED THAT THING YESTERDAY.
YOU MAY HAVE TUNED
IT, BUT YOU DIDN'T FIX IT.
I THINK IT'S TIME BRING
IN A MAN OF THE WRENCH.
IT'S JUST AIR IN THE PIPES.
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW PLUMBING.
AFTER ALL, SHE'S BEEN
USING IT ALL HER LIFE.
MRS. GARRETT, CALL
IN A REAL PLUMBER.
OH, COME ON, I CAN DO IT!
LET ME HAVE ONE
MORE CRACK AT IT.
WELL, I... YOU
WON'T REGRET THIS.
I'LL HAVE IT PURRING.
MRS. GARRETT, BLAIR
GOT THE TICKETS.
WE'RE GOING TO GET
TO SEE BARYSHNIKOV.
THE MAN HAS GREAT EXTENSION.
THAT'S LOVELY, NATALIE.
NOW, EXTEND YOURSELF
INTO THE KITCHEN.
OH, AND TOOTIE? WOULD
YOU COVER THE FRONT?
SURE.
[BELL RINGS]
UH, EXCUSE ME,
SIR. CAN I HELP YOU?
LET ME GUESS.
YOU LIKE PASTA AND BEAN SALAD?
I LIKE M&Ms.
WELL, UH, THOSE GO
GREAT WITH PASTA, TOO.
YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN?
TAKE A LOAD OFF YOUR FEET?
NO. I SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
WELL, AT LEAST TRY THE FOOD
BEFORE YOU GET NEGATIVE.
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL GIVE
YOU A SAMPLE OF MY FAVORITE.
I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU HAD SOME CANDY.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY UPSTAIRS.
UPSTAIRS?
I LIVE NEXT DOOR.
IN THE REAL ESTATE OFFICE?
OH, YOU MEAN ABOVE IT!
WELL, I LIVE ABOVE HERE.
YOU MEAN, PEOPLE EAT
THIS STUFF AND LIVE?
I DON'T BLAME YOU.
SPINACH QUICHE IS
AN ACQUIRED TASTE.
YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR.
I BET YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO'S ALWAYS FLASHING
THE MIRROR INTO OUR ROOM.
ARE YOU DOING MORSE CODE?
YEAH!
LONG. SHORT.
LONG, LONG, SHORT.
SHORT, SHORT, SHORT.
Y-E-S.
RIGHT!
HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW MORSE CODE?
WELL, WHEN I WAS A GIRL
SCOUT, I FLUNKED COOKIES
BUT I GOT A BADGE FOR CODE.
COME ON, GIVE ME A TOUGH WORD,
LIKE, UM... DELICATESSEN.
NO, I BETTER GO HOME.
MOM SAYS I HAVE TO BE
HOME RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL.
OH, WELL, YOUR MOM WON'T MIND.
WHEN YOU GET UPSTAIRS,
JUST TELL HER YOU MET
A GREAT GIRL NAMED TOOTIE.
MY MOM ISN'T UPSTAIRS,
SHE'S WORKING.
OKAY, SO TELL YOUR DAD.
MY DAD DOESN'T LIVE
WITH US ANYMORE.
WELL, THEN TELL YOUR BABYSITTER.
I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.
DO I LOOK LIKE A BABY TO YOU?
I COULD TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
SO THEN, YOU'RE ALL ALONE?
SURE, UNTIL MY MOM GETS HOME.
WELL, WHEN'S THAT?
6:30.
TILL 6:30 YOU'RE ALONE?
ALONE-ALONE, LIKE NOBODY
ELSE AROUND, ALONE?
BOY, THAT'S ALONE.
SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO TELL ANYBODY.
OH, WELL, YOU CAN TELL
ME. I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR.
NO, I BETTER GO.
I GOTTA START
SIGNALING FOR SHIPS.
SIGNALING FOR SHIPS?
BOY, THAT MUST BE LONELY WORK.
I DON'T SEE MANY BOATS
COMING DOWN MAIN STREET.
NOT BOAT SHIPS. SPACESHIPS.
SPACESHIPS? OH! THAT
MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE.
HAVE YOU MADE ANY CONTACT YET?
NO, BUT YOU GOTTA
BE PATIENT WITH ALIENS.
WANT A PIECE OF GUM?
UH, I CAN'T... BRACES.
HEY, THAT'S CUTE.
SO I DON'T LOSE MY HOUSE KEY.
KIDS AT SCHOOL
LIKE TO PLAY WITH IT,
BUT SOMETIMES IT LEAVES MARKS.
WELL, BYE.
BYE, UM... IT WAS
NICE TALKING TO YOU.
WHOEVER YOU ARE.
DANNY SLATER.
MISHA, I'LL BE WITH YOU SOON.
AS YOU LEAP TO THE HEAVENS,
AS ONLY YOU CAN,
CAST YOUR EYE
TO ROW "F," SEAT 10,
RIGHT NEXT TO THE MAYOR.
I'LL BE THE ONE BLOWING KISSES.
AND MISHA, THERE IS
LIFE AFTER JESSICA LANGE.
TELL THAT TO KING KONG.
YOU SHOULD SEE
BARYSHNIKOV DANCE SOMETIME.
NATALIE, A GUY IN HIS
UNDERWEAR IS NO THRILL TO ME
UNLESS THERE'S HOWARD
COSELL AND A REFEREE AT RINGSIDE.
JO, BALLET IS A TIMELESS ART.
HOW CAN YOU HATE IT?
WELL, I HAVE TO.
IT COSTS 40 BUCKS A TICKET.
I STOPPED LIKING POPCORN
WHEN IT WENT UP
TO TWO BUCKS A TUB.
OH, HEY, TOOTIE?
MR. MIRROR STRIKES AGAIN.
OH, THANKS. DANNY MUST NEED
SOME HELP WITH HIS HOMEWORK.
TOOTIE, I KNOW IT'S
ONLY MORSE CODE,
BUT, PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO SAY
YOU'RE HUNG UP ON A FLASHER.
WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER JUST
TO CALL HIM ON THE PHONE?
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE SHORT,
I'LL GIVE YOU THE DIME.
DANNY ISN'T ALLOWED
TO ANSWER THE PHONE
UNLESS IT'S HIS MOTHER'S SIGNAL.
WOW, THAT'S SOME HOMEWORK.
NAME A LARGE DINOSAUR.
MARVIN.
UNLESS IT'S A GIRL.
OH, I KNOW. BRONTOSAURUS.
AMAZING! THE KID'S
IN SECOND GRADE
AND WE'RE ON THE SAME CHAPTER.
PICK UP A MIRROR,
MAYBE HE CAN HELP YOU
WITH YOUR MID-TERMS.
SHE'S STILL AT IT?
WOULDN'T IT BE SOMETHING IF
TOOTIE WERE REALLY SENDING
MRS. GARRETT'S SECRET
RECIPES TO THE RUSSIANS?
THEY DESERVE THE ONE
FOR CALIFLOWER SOUP.
[BANG BANG BANG]
WHAT WAS THAT?
I GUESS OUR AFTERNOON
BOILER CONCERT'S
A LITTLE EARLY TODAY.
THAT WAS NOT THE BOILER.
I TOLD YOU I FIXED THAT.
OH! SO WHAT'S IT TRYING
TO DO, SAY "THANK YOU?"
IF IT WASN'T THE
BOILER, WHAT WAS IT?
NAT, IT WAS A TRUCK BACKFIRING.
I'LL BUY THAT.
THAT POOR KID.
I THINK IT'S TERRIBLE
THE WAY HIS MOTHER
LEAVES HIM AT HOME
ALONE LIKE THAT.
LOTS OF KIDS ARE LEFT ALONE.
I'D GO CRAZY.
OH, TOOTIE, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S NOT GONNA
SCAR HIM FOR LIFE.
I MEAN, I WAS A
LATCHKEY KID MYSELF.
THAT POOR CHILD'S
IN DEEP TROUBLE.
[BANG BANG BANG]
I HOPE THAT WAS ANOTHER TRUCK.
EITHER THAT, OR THE
ONION DIP EXPLODED.
NO, THAT WAS THE BOILER.
DON'T WORRY, I OPEN ONE
MORE VALVE AND WE GOT IT.
HI, MRS. G.
HI. GIRLS? WE HAVE TO TALK.
FIRST OF ALL, I WANT
EVERYONE TO STAY CALM.
THERE'S A FIRE! THE BUILDING'S
ON FIRE! WE'RE ALL GONNA...
THERE'S NO FIRE. DON'T PANIC.
MRS. GARRETT, LET ME
PANIC. IT'S WHAT I DO BEST.
THERE'S NO FIRE. WE
MUST REMAIN CALM.
LISTEN TO ME.
A LITTLE WHILE AGO, I
THOUGHT I SMELLED GAS,
AND SO AFTER I HEARD THAT
NOISE I CALLED THE GAS COMPANY.
GAS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
[SNIFFING] AH.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
I SMELL IT, TOO.
I'M BACK TO BEING ON FIRE!
NATALIE, THERE IS NO FIRE!
HOWEVER, IN A FEW MINUTES,
THE BUILDING COULD BLOW UP.
[GIRLS SCREAMING]
HOLD IT!
TAKE ONE VALUABLE,
AND A CHANGE OF UNDERWEAR...
AND MEET ME AT THE
PIZZA PLACE, MY TREAT.
LET'S GO! MOVE! MOVE!
BLAIR, MOVE! MOVE!
MRS. GARRETT SAID
TAKE ONE THING.
I AM TAKING ONE
THING. MY WARDROBE.
YOU HAD A SUITCASE PACKED?
I ALWAYS KNEW SOMEDAY I'D BE
TRAPPED IN A TOWERING INFERNO.
I PACKED FOR IT.
COME ON GIRLS,
LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
MRS. G, YOU GO ON AHEAD.
I'M GONNA STAY HERE. I
KNOW I CAN FIND THE PROBLEM.
JO, THE CAPTAIN
GOES DOWN WITH SHIP,
NOT THE BOILER.
ALL RIGHT, WHO TOOK
MY STILLSON WRENCH?
JO? JO?
ONLY TWICE IN MY LIFE
HAVE I SPOKEN IN AN
ARBITRARY MANNER.
ONCE, WHEN MY EX-HUSBAND
MORTGAGED OUR HOME
TO PAY THE BOOKIE.
AND NOW.
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE
OR I'LL BEAT YOU
WITH MY FRYING PAN!
COME ON, TOOTIE,
LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
I'M COMING.
OH MY GOD! IT'S DANNY!
WHO'S DANNY? THE KID NEXT DOOR.
WE GOTTA GET HIM OUTTA THERE!
WELL, I'M SURE HIS
MOTHER'LL GET HIM OUT.
THE GAS COMPANY IS
CALLING THE ENTIRE BLOCK.
BUT, HIS MOTHER'S
WORKING, HE'S ALONE!
HE WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!
WE GOTTA GET HIM OUTTA THERE!
NOBODY ELSE KNOWS HE'S IN THERE!
OH MY GOD.
OH.
DANNY?
DANNY, ARE YOU IN THERE?
NO.
DANNY, UH, UH, MY
NAME IS EDNA GARRETT,
AND I LIVE NEXT DOOR.
AND, UM... WE'RE
HAVING AN EMERGENCY
AND YOU HAVE TO
LEAVE THE BUILDING NOW.
DANNY?
NOBODY'S HOME.
OH, COME ON, DANNY.
UH, COME ON OUT. I
KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I... I'M SUPERMAN'S SISTER.
I CAN SEE THROUGH WALLS.
WHAT COLOR SHIRT AM I WEARING?
I DON'T KNOW.
RED KRYPTONITE'S
MADE ME COLOR BLIND.
DANNY, DANNY, UH, THERE'S
TROUBLE ON THE BLOCK
AND I THINK YOU BETTER
COME DOWNSTAIRS WITH ME.
MOM SAYS I HAVE TO STAY HERE
UNTIL SHE COMES HOME FROM WORK.
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
NORMALLY, I'D AGREE WITH YOU.
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW IF WE WAIT
TILL YOUR MOTHER COMES HOME,
HERE MIGHT NOT BE HERE ANYMORE.
OPEN UP.
I CAN'T OPEN THE
DOOR FOR STRANGERS.
WELL, I'M NO STRANGER.
YOU KNOW EDNA'S EDIBLES.
I'M EDNA.
[LAUGHING]
OH, COME ON, PLEASE.
PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR.
WE'RE BOTH IN DANGER UP HERE.
IT'S DANGEROUS TO OPEN THE DOOR.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO MEET ME.
YOU'LL SEE, I'M A NICE
AND FRIENDLY LADY.
[LAUGHING]
DON'T I HAVE A FRIENDLY VOICE?
NO.
I'M GONNA FINISH MY
HOMEWORK NOW, GOOD-BYE.
OH, WAIT! WAIT!
I'LL HELP YOU WITH
YOUR HOMEWORK.
WHAT KIND OF HOMEWORK IS IT?
DINOSAURS.
I'M WONDERFUL WITH DINOSAURS.
UM, OPEN THE DOOR
AND I'LL SHOW YOU
HOW DINOSAURS BRUSH THEIR TEETH.
I KNOW HOW.
YOU DO?
THEY ATE WOODY ROOTS AND FIBERS
THAT BOTH BRUSHED AND FLOSSED.
GOOD-BYE.
DON'T! DON'T GO YET.
WAIT! LISTEN TO ME
ONE MORE SECOND.
DAN, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A GAS LEAK IS?
NO.
WELL, WE HAVE ONE,
AND YOU MUST LEAVE NOW!
MRS. GARRETT?
OH, GET BACK OUTSIDE.
CAN'T YOU GET DANNY OUT?
HE WON'T OPEN THE DOOR.
OH, THAT KID WOULD HAVE
BEEN GREAT AT THE ALAMO!
OH, LET ME TRY.
OH, HE WON'T LISTEN.
HE'LL LISTEN TO ME.
DANNY? DANNY, THIS IS TOOTIE.
DANNY, YOU COULD REALLY
GET HURT IF YOU STAYED HERE.
SO, COME ON OUT.
HI, TOOTIE.
I SOFTENED HIM UP FOR YOU.
GRAB AN ARM!
ALL CLEAR!
IT ONLY TOOK THEM
AN HOUR TO FIX IT.
I THINK THEY COULD HAVE
DONE IT IN TEN MINUTES
IF JO HADN'T BEEN HELPING THEM.
STILL NO SIGN OF DANNY'S MOTHER.
I THINK WE SHOULD CALL HER.
UH... WHERE DOES SHE WORK?
IT'S A FACTORY, I HAVE THE
TELEPHONE NUMBER UPSTAIRS.
UH-OH. I DON'T HAVE MY KEY.
I CHANGED MY PANTS AFTER SCHOOL.
I SPILLED MAYONNAISE ON THEM.
ISN'T THAT THE WAY?
THE ONE DAY YOU SPILL MAYONNAISE
THE GAS LINE BREAKS.
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU'LL JUST STAY WITH US
UNTIL YOUR MOM GETS HOME.
IS IT REALLY SAFE TO COME IN?
YES, NATALIE.
THE GAS MAN IS JUST
FINISHING UP DOWNSTAIRS.
I CHEATED DEATH.
FROM NOW ON, I'M LIVING
ON BORROWED TIME.
NATALIE, DON'T BE OVERDRAMATIC.
I PLAYED CHESS WITH THE
GRIM REAPER AND WON.
I PLAYED MARBLES
WITH BILLY NORCOL
AND SCRAPED MY KNEE.
I RENTED THE FARM
WITH AN OPTION TO BUY.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
UH-HUH, COME ON IN.
AH, THE REST OF MY
GOWNS ARE STILL HANGING
AT THE PIZZA PLACE.
I GOTTA GET BACK
THERE BEFORE THEY THINK
IT'S A TWO-FOR-ONE SALE.
THE COLD BLANKET
OF ENDLESS NIGHT
WAFTED THROUGH THE AIR
AND TRIED TO TUCK ME IN.
NATALIE, ENOUGH.
THE FOURTH HORSEMEN
OF THE APOCALYPSE
GALLOPED BY AND
WHIPPED ME WITH HIS TAIL.
WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING,
MRS. GARRETT?
YES, I DID, NATALIE.
SAY, AS LONG AS WE'RE WAITING
FOR DANNY'S MOTHER TO COME HOME,
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HIM
OUT FOR AN ICE-CREAM SODA?
TOOTIE AND I'LL
STRAIGHTEN UP HERE.
SURE! COME ON, DANNY.
ALL DONE, MRS. GARRETT.
OH, WELL, I SURE
APPRECIATE ALL YOUR WORK.
AH, IT WAS NOTHING.
WHILE I WAS DOWN THERE, I FIXED
YOUR WATER HEATER, TOO.
MM, SO IT WAS YOUR FAULT.
HA!
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, BLAIR.
WOULD YOU TELL HER
WHAT YOU TOLD ME?
GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THERE WAS NO CONNECTION
BETWEEN YOUR NOISY
BOILER AND THE GAS LEAK.
GAS CAME FROM THE
MAIN LINE IN THE STREET.
A ROAD CREW DIGGING IN
FRONT OF THE POST OFFICE
ACCIDENTLY BROKE IT.
HA!
ACTUALLY, YOU OWE
THIS YOUNG LADY
YOUR THANKS FOR WHAT SHE DID.
HA... HA!
YOU SEE, IF SHE HAD
FIXED THE BOILER,
IT WOULDN'T HAVE
MADE ANY NOISE TODAY,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ME.
YEAH, WE COULD SAY THAT, UH,
THIS YOUNG LADY'S INCOMPETENCE
SAVED THE DAY.
HA... HA... HA!
EXCUSE ME ALL.
MY GOWNS ARE
GATHERING PIZZA DUST.
YEAH, I HAVE TO RUN ALONG, TOO.
I GOT ANOTHER BOILER TO FIX
DOWN ON COURTNEY STREET.
OH, YOU THINK WE'LL HAVE THE
SAME PROBLEM WITH THAT ONE?
ONLY IF YOU COME ALONG.
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW I'M THERE.
I GOT THE TOOLS!
GOOD-BYE, MR. HANSEN.
I HOPE WE DON'T
HAVE MORE TROUBLE.
YOU WON'T, SHE'S COMING WITH ME.
HEY, KID, I'M DRIVING!
WELL, I THINK I'LL WARM UP
THE LEFTOVER POT ROAST.
I'LL GO LIGHT THE OVEN.
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
LET'S EAT OUT TONIGHT.
WHERE'S MY SON?
THEY TOLD ME HE WAS
IN HERE, WHERE IS HE?
MRS. SLATER? YES?
WHERE'S DANNY, WHAT'S
HAPPENED TO HIM?
HE'S JUST FINE.
BELIEVE ME.
ONE OF MY GIRLS JUST TOOK
HIM OUT FOR AN ICE CREAM.
OH, THANK GOD.
I'M SORRY, IT'S JUST THAT
I... I SAW THE FIRE TRUCKS.
AND THEN THEY SAID
THERE WAS A GAS LEAK.
AND WHEN DANNY WASN'T
IN THE APARTMENT...
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, MRS. SLATER,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SIT DOWN?
ALL RIGHT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
AND I'LL GO GET
DANNY FOR YOU, OKAY?
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE MRS.
SLATER A CUP OF COFFEE?
SURE.
WHEN I RAN INTO THE APARTMENT
AND SAW HE WASN'T THERE,
MY HEART JUST STOPPED.
WELL, UM, WHEN THEY
EVACUATED THE BLOCK,
WE GOT HIM OUT.
WELL, HOW'D THEY
KNOW HE WAS THERE?
WELL, DANNY CAME INTO
THE STORE LAST WEEK
AND WE FOUND OUT
WE WERE NEIGHBORS.
OH, HE DIDN'T TELL
ME HE'D BEEN IN HERE.
GUESS HE THOUGHT I'D
BE MAD, 'CAUSE HE KNOWS
HE'S SUPPOSED TO GO
STRAIGHT HOME FROM SCHOOL.
AND LOCK HIMSELF
IN THE APARTMENT
AND PROBABLY CHAIN
HIMSELF TO THE BED.
WHAT?
WELL, YOU KEEP HIM
HOLED UP IN THAT PLACE
WITH NOBODY TO
TALK TO, NO FRESH AIR,
NOBODY TO PLAY WITH.
IT'S LIKE HE'S IN
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.
WELL, EXCUSE ME,
YOU LEFT OUT THE PART
ABOUT THE BREAD AND
WATER AND THE RATS.
LOOK, I DON'T MISTREAT MY SON.
OF COURSE YOU DON'T,
YOU'RE NOT AROUND ENOUGH!
LISTEN, WHOEVER YOU ARE.
WHEN DANNY GETS OUT OF
SCHOOL, I'M STILL AT WORK.
I'M NOT OUT PLAYING
IN SOME SANDBOX.
BUT DANNY SHOULD BE.
AND A GOOD MOTHER
WOULD BE THERE WITH HIM.
OH, AND I SUPPOSE A GOOD
MOTHER WOULD ALSO BE HOME
WITH HIM PLAYING GAMES
AND BAKING COOKIES,
AND MAKING SHRINKY DINKS.
RIGHT.
YEAH, WELL, IF I
DON'T WORK FULL TIME,
I GO ON WELFARE.
AND I DON'T WANT THAT
FOR MYSELF OR FOR DANNY.
I DON'T THINK THAT
MAKES ME A BAD MOTHER.
DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS
TO LEAVE A LITTLE KID
AT HOME ALONE LIKE THAT?
I KNOW THAT!
THAT'S WHY I TELL HIM TO...
DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS,
DON'T... DON'T OPEN THE DOOR,
DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE UNLESS
YOU HEAR MY SPECIAL SIGNAL.
IF HE HAD DONE THAT TODAY,
HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN
BLOWN SKY-HIGH.
I KNOW THAT, TOO!
EVERY AFTERNOON
AT WORK, I SAY "PLEASE,
JUST LET ME COME HOME
AND FIND HIM IN ONE PIECE,
SITTING IN FRONT OF THE T.V.
WATCHING "THE FLINTSTONES"
WITH MAYONNAISE ON HIS PANTS.
LOOK, I NEVER SAID
YOU WEREN'T WORRIED.
EVERYBODY'S WORRIED
ABOUT LATCHKEY KIDS.
OH, I HATE THAT WORD.
LATCHKEY CHILD, LIKE HE'S
GOT A DISEASE OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT WHERE YOU WORK?
I SAW ON T.V. THAT A LOT OF JOBS
ARE STARTING TO PUT
IN DAYCARE CENTERS.
OH YEAH, I SAW THAT SHOW, TOO.
IT WAS REAL ENTERTAINING.
OUR COMPANY IS, UH,
DISCUSSING THE POSSIBILITY
OF FORMING A COMMITTEE
TO INVESTIGATE THE NEED.
THEN, LEAVE DANNY WITH A FRIEND.
[SIGHS]
WHAT ARE YOU, 14, 15?
[SCOFFS] WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU STARTED OVER AT A NEW TOWN?
IT'S NOT SO EASY MAKING FRIENDS.
WELL, THEN LEAVE
DANNY WITH A NEIGHBOR.
EVERYBODY'S GOT THOSE.
HONEY, YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING
TOO MANY "LEAVE IT
TO BEAVER" RERUNS.
THESE DAYS NOBODY
WANTS TO KNOW YOUR NAME,
LET ALONE BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR A STRANGER'S KID.
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
I'M NOT LIKE THAT!
OH YEAH?
SO, HOW COME WE
NEVER MET BEFORE?
DANNY AND I MOVED NEXT
DOOR TWO MONTHS AGO.
WHEN DID YOU COME BY
WITH THE WELCOME WAGON?
WHEN DID YOU COME BY
TO TELL US YOU MOVED IN?
THERE'S YOUR MOM. MOM!
OH, BABY, I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!
[SNIFFLING] HEY.
YOU CHANGED YOUR PANTS.
[TOGETHER] MAYONNAISE!
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
LEFT THE APARTMENT.
BUT, TOOTIE SAID IF I STAYED,
I WOULD GET HURT.
WHO'S TOOTIE?
HI.
I TRIED.
I NEVER COULD HAVE GOTTEN HIM
OUT OF THE APARTMENT
WITHOUT HER.
THANK YOU, TOOTIE.
WELL... GOOD-BYE.
LISTEN.
UH... I WAS THINKING, UM...
IF YOU WANT, I'D BE GLAD
TO LOOK IN ON DANNY
IN THE AFTENROON.
SEEING AS HOW WE'RE NEIGHBORS.
YEAH.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE
FUN OF MANAGING ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR THEM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR THEM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET THEM RIGHT
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE
WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
[MUSIC PLAYING NUTCRACKER SUITE]
[BANG BANG BANG]
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT NOISE?
THIS IS RIDIC...
HEY, IT STOPPED.
UNTIL TOMORROW. SAME
TIME, SAME CHANNEL.
IT'S AMAZING, THE BOILER
WAS PERFECTLY QUIET
WHEN WE CHECKED THIS PLACE OUT.
NATALIE, THAT'S THE
FIRST RULE OF REAL ESTATE.
NOTHING GOES WRONG UNTIL
AFTER YOU SIGN THE PAPERS.
I DON'T GET IT.
JO SAID SHE FIXED
THE WATER HEATER YESTERDAY.
SHE SAID SHE FIXED THE
WASHING MACHINE, TOO.
BUT NOW, WE HAVE A
PERPETUAL RINSE CYCLE.
I THINK IT'S TIME TO CALL
A PROFESSIONAL PLUMBER.
I BETTER CALL ONE
BEFORE I REMEMBER
HOW MUCH THEY CHARGE AN HOUR.
I'VE GOT A SURPRISE.
GUESS WHAT?
THE CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL
TEAM IS DYING TO MEET YOU.
WELL, YES, BUT THAT'S
HARDLY A SURPRISE.
THE CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL
TEAM IS DYING TO MEET ME?
WELL, TELL HIM TO FORGET IT.
'CAUSE I WANT BRAINS!
I GUESS YOU DON'T
WANT TO HEAR MY NEWS.
OKAY, WHAT?
YOU AND TOOTIE WANTED TO
SEE BARYSHNIKOV IN "SWAN LAKE?"
I'D GO SEE HIM IN ANY LAKE.
YOU GOT THE TICKETS?
THERE'S STILL MAGIC
IN THE WARNER NAME.
WE GOT SIXTH ROW, ONLY
TWO SEATS OFF THE CENTER.
TWO SEATS OFF?
I WOULDN'T GO.
I COULD HAVE GOTTEN
THE EXACT MIDDLE SEATS,
BUT THE MAYOR HAS THOSE,
I DIDN'T WANNA THROW
HIM OUT, IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY.
YOU'RE ALL HEART.
THOSE TICKETS ARE
IMPOSSIBLE TO GET.
BLAIR, YOU'RE A MIRACLE WORKER!
I KNOW.
AND I EVEN GOT THEM
AT A STUDENT DISCOUNT.
ONLY $40 EACH.
40 BUCKS?
ALL MY CLOTHES PUT
TOGETHER COST LESS THAN THAT.
WE CAN SEE THAT, DEAR.
THERE'S SO MANY
PLUMBERS IN PEEKSKILL.
IT MUST BE A VERY LEAKY TOWN.
WHAT DO YOU NEED A PLUMBER FOR?
YOU MISSED THE
3:15 BOILER CONCERT.
I FIXED THAT THING YESTERDAY.
YOU MAY HAVE TUNED
IT, BUT YOU DIDN'T FIX IT.
I THINK IT'S TIME BRING
IN A MAN OF THE WRENCH.
IT'S JUST AIR IN THE PIPES.
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW PLUMBING.
AFTER ALL, SHE'S BEEN
USING IT ALL HER LIFE.
MRS. GARRETT, CALL
IN A REAL PLUMBER.
OH, COME ON, I CAN DO IT!
LET ME HAVE ONE
MORE CRACK AT IT.
WELL, I... YOU
WON'T REGRET THIS.
I'LL HAVE IT PURRING.
MRS. GARRETT, BLAIR
GOT THE TICKETS.
WE'RE GOING TO GET
TO SEE BARYSHNIKOV.
THE MAN HAS GREAT EXTENSION.
THAT'S LOVELY, NATALIE.
NOW, EXTEND YOURSELF
INTO THE KITCHEN.
OH, AND TOOTIE? WOULD
YOU COVER THE FRONT?
SURE.
[BELL RINGS]
UH, EXCUSE ME,
SIR. CAN I HELP YOU?
LET ME GUESS.
YOU LIKE PASTA AND BEAN SALAD?
I LIKE M&Ms.
WELL, UH, THOSE GO
GREAT WITH PASTA, TOO.
YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN?
TAKE A LOAD OFF YOUR FEET?
NO. I SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
WELL, AT LEAST TRY THE FOOD
BEFORE YOU GET NEGATIVE.
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL GIVE
YOU A SAMPLE OF MY FAVORITE.
I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU HAD SOME CANDY.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY UPSTAIRS.
UPSTAIRS?
I LIVE NEXT DOOR.
IN THE REAL ESTATE OFFICE?
OH, YOU MEAN ABOVE IT!
WELL, I LIVE ABOVE HERE.
YOU MEAN, PEOPLE EAT
THIS STUFF AND LIVE?
I DON'T BLAME YOU.
SPINACH QUICHE IS
AN ACQUIRED TASTE.
YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR.
I BET YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO'S ALWAYS FLASHING
THE MIRROR INTO OUR ROOM.
ARE YOU DOING MORSE CODE?
YEAH!
LONG. SHORT.
LONG, LONG, SHORT.
SHORT, SHORT, SHORT.
Y-E-S.
RIGHT!
HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW MORSE CODE?
WELL, WHEN I WAS A GIRL
SCOUT, I FLUNKED COOKIES
BUT I GOT A BADGE FOR CODE.
COME ON, GIVE ME A TOUGH WORD,
LIKE, UM... DELICATESSEN.
NO, I BETTER GO HOME.
MOM SAYS I HAVE TO BE
HOME RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL.
OH, WELL, YOUR MOM WON'T MIND.
WHEN YOU GET UPSTAIRS,
JUST TELL HER YOU MET
A GREAT GIRL NAMED TOOTIE.
MY MOM ISN'T UPSTAIRS,
SHE'S WORKING.
OKAY, SO TELL YOUR DAD.
MY DAD DOESN'T LIVE
WITH US ANYMORE.
WELL, THEN TELL YOUR BABYSITTER.
I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER.
DO I LOOK LIKE A BABY TO YOU?
I COULD TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
SO THEN, YOU'RE ALL ALONE?
SURE, UNTIL MY MOM GETS HOME.
WELL, WHEN'S THAT?
6:30.
TILL 6:30 YOU'RE ALONE?
ALONE-ALONE, LIKE NOBODY
ELSE AROUND, ALONE?
BOY, THAT'S ALONE.
SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO TELL ANYBODY.
OH, WELL, YOU CAN TELL
ME. I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR.
NO, I BETTER GO.
I GOTTA START
SIGNALING FOR SHIPS.
SIGNALING FOR SHIPS?
BOY, THAT MUST BE LONELY WORK.
I DON'T SEE MANY BOATS
COMING DOWN MAIN STREET.
NOT BOAT SHIPS. SPACESHIPS.
SPACESHIPS? OH! THAT
MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE.
HAVE YOU MADE ANY CONTACT YET?
NO, BUT YOU GOTTA
BE PATIENT WITH ALIENS.
WANT A PIECE OF GUM?
UH, I CAN'T... BRACES.
HEY, THAT'S CUTE.
SO I DON'T LOSE MY HOUSE KEY.
KIDS AT SCHOOL
LIKE TO PLAY WITH IT,
BUT SOMETIMES IT LEAVES MARKS.
WELL, BYE.
BYE, UM... IT WAS
NICE TALKING TO YOU.
WHOEVER YOU ARE.
DANNY SLATER.
MISHA, I'LL BE WITH YOU SOON.
AS YOU LEAP TO THE HEAVENS,
AS ONLY YOU CAN,
CAST YOUR EYE
TO ROW "F," SEAT 10,
RIGHT NEXT TO THE MAYOR.
I'LL BE THE ONE BLOWING KISSES.
AND MISHA, THERE IS
LIFE AFTER JESSICA LANGE.
TELL THAT TO KING KONG.
YOU SHOULD SEE
BARYSHNIKOV DANCE SOMETIME.
NATALIE, A GUY IN HIS
UNDERWEAR IS NO THRILL TO ME
UNLESS THERE'S HOWARD
COSELL AND A REFEREE AT RINGSIDE.
JO, BALLET IS A TIMELESS ART.
HOW CAN YOU HATE IT?
WELL, I HAVE TO.
IT COSTS 40 BUCKS A TICKET.
I STOPPED LIKING POPCORN
WHEN IT WENT UP
TO TWO BUCKS A TUB.
OH, HEY, TOOTIE?
MR. MIRROR STRIKES AGAIN.
OH, THANKS. DANNY MUST NEED
SOME HELP WITH HIS HOMEWORK.
TOOTIE, I KNOW IT'S
ONLY MORSE CODE,
BUT, PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO SAY
YOU'RE HUNG UP ON A FLASHER.
WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER JUST
TO CALL HIM ON THE PHONE?
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE SHORT,
I'LL GIVE YOU THE DIME.
DANNY ISN'T ALLOWED
TO ANSWER THE PHONE
UNLESS IT'S HIS MOTHER'S SIGNAL.
WOW, THAT'S SOME HOMEWORK.
NAME A LARGE DINOSAUR.
MARVIN.
UNLESS IT'S A GIRL.
OH, I KNOW. BRONTOSAURUS.
AMAZING! THE KID'S
IN SECOND GRADE
AND WE'RE ON THE SAME CHAPTER.
PICK UP A MIRROR,
MAYBE HE CAN HELP YOU
WITH YOUR MID-TERMS.
SHE'S STILL AT IT?
WOULDN'T IT BE SOMETHING IF
TOOTIE WERE REALLY SENDING
MRS. GARRETT'S SECRET
RECIPES TO THE RUSSIANS?
THEY DESERVE THE ONE
FOR CALIFLOWER SOUP.
[BANG BANG BANG]
WHAT WAS THAT?
I GUESS OUR AFTERNOON
BOILER CONCERT'S
A LITTLE EARLY TODAY.
THAT WAS NOT THE BOILER.
I TOLD YOU I FIXED THAT.
OH! SO WHAT'S IT TRYING
TO DO, SAY "THANK YOU?"
IF IT WASN'T THE
BOILER, WHAT WAS IT?
NAT, IT WAS A TRUCK BACKFIRING.
I'LL BUY THAT.
THAT POOR KID.
I THINK IT'S TERRIBLE
THE WAY HIS MOTHER
LEAVES HIM AT HOME
ALONE LIKE THAT.
LOTS OF KIDS ARE LEFT ALONE.
I'D GO CRAZY.
OH, TOOTIE, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S NOT GONNA
SCAR HIM FOR LIFE.
I MEAN, I WAS A
LATCHKEY KID MYSELF.
THAT POOR CHILD'S
IN DEEP TROUBLE.
[BANG BANG BANG]
I HOPE THAT WAS ANOTHER TRUCK.
EITHER THAT, OR THE
ONION DIP EXPLODED.
NO, THAT WAS THE BOILER.
DON'T WORRY, I OPEN ONE
MORE VALVE AND WE GOT IT.
HI, MRS. G.
HI. GIRLS? WE HAVE TO TALK.
FIRST OF ALL, I WANT
EVERYONE TO STAY CALM.
THERE'S A FIRE! THE BUILDING'S
ON FIRE! WE'RE ALL GONNA...
THERE'S NO FIRE. DON'T PANIC.
MRS. GARRETT, LET ME
PANIC. IT'S WHAT I DO BEST.
THERE'S NO FIRE. WE
MUST REMAIN CALM.
LISTEN TO ME.
A LITTLE WHILE AGO, I
THOUGHT I SMELLED GAS,
AND SO AFTER I HEARD THAT
NOISE I CALLED THE GAS COMPANY.
GAS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
[SNIFFING] AH.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
I SMELL IT, TOO.
I'M BACK TO BEING ON FIRE!
NATALIE, THERE IS NO FIRE!
HOWEVER, IN A FEW MINUTES,
THE BUILDING COULD BLOW UP.
[GIRLS SCREAMING]
HOLD IT!
TAKE ONE VALUABLE,
AND A CHANGE OF UNDERWEAR...
AND MEET ME AT THE
PIZZA PLACE, MY TREAT.
LET'S GO! MOVE! MOVE!
BLAIR, MOVE! MOVE!
MRS. GARRETT SAID
TAKE ONE THING.
I AM TAKING ONE
THING. MY WARDROBE.
YOU HAD A SUITCASE PACKED?
I ALWAYS KNEW SOMEDAY I'D BE
TRAPPED IN A TOWERING INFERNO.
I PACKED FOR IT.
COME ON GIRLS,
LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
MRS. G, YOU GO ON AHEAD.
I'M GONNA STAY HERE. I
KNOW I CAN FIND THE PROBLEM.
JO, THE CAPTAIN
GOES DOWN WITH SHIP,
NOT THE BOILER.
ALL RIGHT, WHO TOOK
MY STILLSON WRENCH?
JO? JO?
ONLY TWICE IN MY LIFE
HAVE I SPOKEN IN AN
ARBITRARY MANNER.
ONCE, WHEN MY EX-HUSBAND
MORTGAGED OUR HOME
TO PAY THE BOOKIE.
AND NOW.
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE
OR I'LL BEAT YOU
WITH MY FRYING PAN!
COME ON, TOOTIE,
LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
I'M COMING.
OH MY GOD! IT'S DANNY!
WHO'S DANNY? THE KID NEXT DOOR.
WE GOTTA GET HIM OUTTA THERE!
WELL, I'M SURE HIS
MOTHER'LL GET HIM OUT.
THE GAS COMPANY IS
CALLING THE ENTIRE BLOCK.
BUT, HIS MOTHER'S
WORKING, HE'S ALONE!
HE WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!
WE GOTTA GET HIM OUTTA THERE!
NOBODY ELSE KNOWS HE'S IN THERE!
OH MY GOD.
OH.
DANNY?
DANNY, ARE YOU IN THERE?
NO.
DANNY, UH, UH, MY
NAME IS EDNA GARRETT,
AND I LIVE NEXT DOOR.
AND, UM... WE'RE
HAVING AN EMERGENCY
AND YOU HAVE TO
LEAVE THE BUILDING NOW.
DANNY?
NOBODY'S HOME.
OH, COME ON, DANNY.
UH, COME ON OUT. I
KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I... I'M SUPERMAN'S SISTER.
I CAN SEE THROUGH WALLS.
WHAT COLOR SHIRT AM I WEARING?
I DON'T KNOW.
RED KRYPTONITE'S
MADE ME COLOR BLIND.
DANNY, DANNY, UH, THERE'S
TROUBLE ON THE BLOCK
AND I THINK YOU BETTER
COME DOWNSTAIRS WITH ME.
MOM SAYS I HAVE TO STAY HERE
UNTIL SHE COMES HOME FROM WORK.
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
NORMALLY, I'D AGREE WITH YOU.
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW IF WE WAIT
TILL YOUR MOTHER COMES HOME,
HERE MIGHT NOT BE HERE ANYMORE.
OPEN UP.
I CAN'T OPEN THE
DOOR FOR STRANGERS.
WELL, I'M NO STRANGER.
YOU KNOW EDNA'S EDIBLES.
I'M EDNA.
[LAUGHING]
OH, COME ON, PLEASE.
PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR.
WE'RE BOTH IN DANGER UP HERE.
IT'S DANGEROUS TO OPEN THE DOOR.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO MEET ME.
YOU'LL SEE, I'M A NICE
AND FRIENDLY LADY.
[LAUGHING]
DON'T I HAVE A FRIENDLY VOICE?
NO.
I'M GONNA FINISH MY
HOMEWORK NOW, GOOD-BYE.
OH, WAIT! WAIT!
I'LL HELP YOU WITH
YOUR HOMEWORK.
WHAT KIND OF HOMEWORK IS IT?
DINOSAURS.
I'M WONDERFUL WITH DINOSAURS.
UM, OPEN THE DOOR
AND I'LL SHOW YOU
HOW DINOSAURS BRUSH THEIR TEETH.
I KNOW HOW.
YOU DO?
THEY ATE WOODY ROOTS AND FIBERS
THAT BOTH BRUSHED AND FLOSSED.
GOOD-BYE.
DON'T! DON'T GO YET.
WAIT! LISTEN TO ME
ONE MORE SECOND.
DAN, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A GAS LEAK IS?
NO.
WELL, WE HAVE ONE,
AND YOU MUST LEAVE NOW!
MRS. GARRETT?
OH, GET BACK OUTSIDE.
CAN'T YOU GET DANNY OUT?
HE WON'T OPEN THE DOOR.
OH, THAT KID WOULD HAVE
BEEN GREAT AT THE ALAMO!
OH, LET ME TRY.
OH, HE WON'T LISTEN.
HE'LL LISTEN TO ME.
DANNY? DANNY, THIS IS TOOTIE.
DANNY, YOU COULD REALLY
GET HURT IF YOU STAYED HERE.
SO, COME ON OUT.
HI, TOOTIE.
I SOFTENED HIM UP FOR YOU.
GRAB AN ARM!
ALL CLEAR!
IT ONLY TOOK THEM
AN HOUR TO FIX IT.
I THINK THEY COULD HAVE
DONE IT IN TEN MINUTES
IF JO HADN'T BEEN HELPING THEM.
STILL NO SIGN OF DANNY'S MOTHER.
I THINK WE SHOULD CALL HER.
UH... WHERE DOES SHE WORK?
IT'S A FACTORY, I HAVE THE
TELEPHONE NUMBER UPSTAIRS.
UH-OH. I DON'T HAVE MY KEY.
I CHANGED MY PANTS AFTER SCHOOL.
I SPILLED MAYONNAISE ON THEM.
ISN'T THAT THE WAY?
THE ONE DAY YOU SPILL MAYONNAISE
THE GAS LINE BREAKS.
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU'LL JUST STAY WITH US
UNTIL YOUR MOM GETS HOME.
IS IT REALLY SAFE TO COME IN?
YES, NATALIE.
THE GAS MAN IS JUST
FINISHING UP DOWNSTAIRS.
I CHEATED DEATH.
FROM NOW ON, I'M LIVING
ON BORROWED TIME.
NATALIE, DON'T BE OVERDRAMATIC.
I PLAYED CHESS WITH THE
GRIM REAPER AND WON.
I PLAYED MARBLES
WITH BILLY NORCOL
AND SCRAPED MY KNEE.
I RENTED THE FARM
WITH AN OPTION TO BUY.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
UH-HUH, COME ON IN.
AH, THE REST OF MY
GOWNS ARE STILL HANGING
AT THE PIZZA PLACE.
I GOTTA GET BACK
THERE BEFORE THEY THINK
IT'S A TWO-FOR-ONE SALE.
THE COLD BLANKET
OF ENDLESS NIGHT
WAFTED THROUGH THE AIR
AND TRIED TO TUCK ME IN.
NATALIE, ENOUGH.
THE FOURTH HORSEMEN
OF THE APOCALYPSE
GALLOPED BY AND
WHIPPED ME WITH HIS TAIL.
WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING,
MRS. GARRETT?
YES, I DID, NATALIE.
SAY, AS LONG AS WE'RE WAITING
FOR DANNY'S MOTHER TO COME HOME,
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HIM
OUT FOR AN ICE-CREAM SODA?
TOOTIE AND I'LL
STRAIGHTEN UP HERE.
SURE! COME ON, DANNY.
ALL DONE, MRS. GARRETT.
OH, WELL, I SURE
APPRECIATE ALL YOUR WORK.
AH, IT WAS NOTHING.
WHILE I WAS DOWN THERE, I FIXED
YOUR WATER HEATER, TOO.
MM, SO IT WAS YOUR FAULT.
HA!
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, BLAIR.
WOULD YOU TELL HER
WHAT YOU TOLD ME?
GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THERE WAS NO CONNECTION
BETWEEN YOUR NOISY
BOILER AND THE GAS LEAK.
GAS CAME FROM THE
MAIN LINE IN THE STREET.
A ROAD CREW DIGGING IN
FRONT OF THE POST OFFICE
ACCIDENTLY BROKE IT.
HA!
ACTUALLY, YOU OWE
THIS YOUNG LADY
YOUR THANKS FOR WHAT SHE DID.
HA... HA!
YOU SEE, IF SHE HAD
FIXED THE BOILER,
IT WOULDN'T HAVE
MADE ANY NOISE TODAY,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ME.
YEAH, WE COULD SAY THAT, UH,
THIS YOUNG LADY'S INCOMPETENCE
SAVED THE DAY.
HA... HA... HA!
EXCUSE ME ALL.
MY GOWNS ARE
GATHERING PIZZA DUST.
YEAH, I HAVE TO RUN ALONG, TOO.
I GOT ANOTHER BOILER TO FIX
DOWN ON COURTNEY STREET.
OH, YOU THINK WE'LL HAVE THE
SAME PROBLEM WITH THAT ONE?
ONLY IF YOU COME ALONG.
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW I'M THERE.
I GOT THE TOOLS!
GOOD-BYE, MR. HANSEN.
I HOPE WE DON'T
HAVE MORE TROUBLE.
YOU WON'T, SHE'S COMING WITH ME.
HEY, KID, I'M DRIVING!
WELL, I THINK I'LL WARM UP
THE LEFTOVER POT ROAST.
I'LL GO LIGHT THE OVEN.
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
LET'S EAT OUT TONIGHT.
WHERE'S MY SON?
THEY TOLD ME HE WAS
IN HERE, WHERE IS HE?
MRS. SLATER? YES?
WHERE'S DANNY, WHAT'S
HAPPENED TO HIM?
HE'S JUST FINE.
BELIEVE ME.
ONE OF MY GIRLS JUST TOOK
HIM OUT FOR AN ICE CREAM.
OH, THANK GOD.
I'M SORRY, IT'S JUST THAT
I... I SAW THE FIRE TRUCKS.
AND THEN THEY SAID
THERE WAS A GAS LEAK.
AND WHEN DANNY WASN'T
IN THE APARTMENT...
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, MRS. SLATER,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SIT DOWN?
ALL RIGHT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
AND I'LL GO GET
DANNY FOR YOU, OKAY?
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE MRS.
SLATER A CUP OF COFFEE?
SURE.
WHEN I RAN INTO THE APARTMENT
AND SAW HE WASN'T THERE,
MY HEART JUST STOPPED.
WELL, UM, WHEN THEY
EVACUATED THE BLOCK,
WE GOT HIM OUT.
WELL, HOW'D THEY
KNOW HE WAS THERE?
WELL, DANNY CAME INTO
THE STORE LAST WEEK
AND WE FOUND OUT
WE WERE NEIGHBORS.
OH, HE DIDN'T TELL
ME HE'D BEEN IN HERE.
GUESS HE THOUGHT I'D
BE MAD, 'CAUSE HE KNOWS
HE'S SUPPOSED TO GO
STRAIGHT HOME FROM SCHOOL.
AND LOCK HIMSELF
IN THE APARTMENT
AND PROBABLY CHAIN
HIMSELF TO THE BED.
WHAT?
WELL, YOU KEEP HIM
HOLED UP IN THAT PLACE
WITH NOBODY TO
TALK TO, NO FRESH AIR,
NOBODY TO PLAY WITH.
IT'S LIKE HE'S IN
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.
WELL, EXCUSE ME,
YOU LEFT OUT THE PART
ABOUT THE BREAD AND
WATER AND THE RATS.
LOOK, I DON'T MISTREAT MY SON.
OF COURSE YOU DON'T,
YOU'RE NOT AROUND ENOUGH!
LISTEN, WHOEVER YOU ARE.
WHEN DANNY GETS OUT OF
SCHOOL, I'M STILL AT WORK.
I'M NOT OUT PLAYING
IN SOME SANDBOX.
BUT DANNY SHOULD BE.
AND A GOOD MOTHER
WOULD BE THERE WITH HIM.
OH, AND I SUPPOSE A GOOD
MOTHER WOULD ALSO BE HOME
WITH HIM PLAYING GAMES
AND BAKING COOKIES,
AND MAKING SHRINKY DINKS.
RIGHT.
YEAH, WELL, IF I
DON'T WORK FULL TIME,
I GO ON WELFARE.
AND I DON'T WANT THAT
FOR MYSELF OR FOR DANNY.
I DON'T THINK THAT
MAKES ME A BAD MOTHER.
DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS
TO LEAVE A LITTLE KID
AT HOME ALONE LIKE THAT?
I KNOW THAT!
THAT'S WHY I TELL HIM TO...
DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS,
DON'T... DON'T OPEN THE DOOR,
DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE UNLESS
YOU HEAR MY SPECIAL SIGNAL.
IF HE HAD DONE THAT TODAY,
HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN
BLOWN SKY-HIGH.
I KNOW THAT, TOO!
EVERY AFTERNOON
AT WORK, I SAY "PLEASE,
JUST LET ME COME HOME
AND FIND HIM IN ONE PIECE,
SITTING IN FRONT OF THE T.V.
WATCHING "THE FLINTSTONES"
WITH MAYONNAISE ON HIS PANTS.
LOOK, I NEVER SAID
YOU WEREN'T WORRIED.
EVERYBODY'S WORRIED
ABOUT LATCHKEY KIDS.
OH, I HATE THAT WORD.
LATCHKEY CHILD, LIKE HE'S
GOT A DISEASE OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT WHERE YOU WORK?
I SAW ON T.V. THAT A LOT OF JOBS
ARE STARTING TO PUT
IN DAYCARE CENTERS.
OH YEAH, I SAW THAT SHOW, TOO.
IT WAS REAL ENTERTAINING.
OUR COMPANY IS, UH,
DISCUSSING THE POSSIBILITY
OF FORMING A COMMITTEE
TO INVESTIGATE THE NEED.
THEN, LEAVE DANNY WITH A FRIEND.
[SIGHS]
WHAT ARE YOU, 14, 15?
[SCOFFS] WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU STARTED OVER AT A NEW TOWN?
IT'S NOT SO EASY MAKING FRIENDS.
WELL, THEN LEAVE
DANNY WITH A NEIGHBOR.
EVERYBODY'S GOT THOSE.
HONEY, YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING
TOO MANY "LEAVE IT
TO BEAVER" RERUNS.
THESE DAYS NOBODY
WANTS TO KNOW YOUR NAME,
LET ALONE BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR A STRANGER'S KID.
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
I'M NOT LIKE THAT!
OH YEAH?
SO, HOW COME WE
NEVER MET BEFORE?
DANNY AND I MOVED NEXT
DOOR TWO MONTHS AGO.
WHEN DID YOU COME BY
WITH THE WELCOME WAGON?
WHEN DID YOU COME BY
TO TELL US YOU MOVED IN?
THERE'S YOUR MOM. MOM!
OH, BABY, I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!
[SNIFFLING] HEY.
YOU CHANGED YOUR PANTS.
[TOGETHER] MAYONNAISE!
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
LEFT THE APARTMENT.
BUT, TOOTIE SAID IF I STAYED,
I WOULD GET HURT.
WHO'S TOOTIE?
HI.
I TRIED.
I NEVER COULD HAVE GOTTEN HIM
OUT OF THE APARTMENT
WITHOUT HER.
THANK YOU, TOOTIE.
WELL... GOOD-BYE.
LISTEN.
UH... I WAS THINKING, UM...
IF YOU WANT, I'D BE GLAD
TO LOOK IN ON DANNY
IN THE AFTENROON.
SEEING AS HOW WE'RE NEIGHBORS.
YEAH.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE
FUN OF MANAGING ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR THEM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR THEM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET THEM RIGHT
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO GET
YOU THROUGH IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE
WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪