The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 4, Episode 9 - The Big Fight - full transcript
Natalie covers a boxing match at Bates Academy, the nearby boys' school, for the school paper.
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---
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
NATALIE?
THIS IS ALFRED WEBSTER.
STONE MILITARY ACADEMY DANCE...
LAST SPRING?
YOU WERE MY DATE, REMEMBER?
OF COURSE. HOW COULD I FORGET?
WE DISCUSSED THE EATING
HABITS OF LIZARDS IN VENEZUELA.
I HAD A BALL, TOO.
I'M TAKING OUR RELATIONSHIP
TO THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP.
WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
I'M IN THIS TOURNAMENT SATURDAY.
YOU WANT TO COME
WATCH ME MIX IT UP?
YOU'RE IN A BAKE-OFF?
NO, A BOXING TOURNAMENT.
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD COME?
LET ME CHECK MY
SCHEDULE, ALFRED.
BE RIGHT BACK.
IS THAT ALFRED
FROM STONE MILITARY?
HE'S INVITED ME TO A
BOXING TOURNAMENT.
I THINK A BOXING
TOURNAMENT'S A GREAT DATE!
YOU WOULD.
NAT, ARE YOU GOING?
OF COURSE SHE'S GOING!
I AM?
NATALIE, THOSE ARE
ROMANTIC ODDS...
300 HANDSOME CADETS...
AND JUST ONE YOU.
YEAH!
HELLO, ALFRED.
SATURDAY'S FINE,
BUT PROMISE YOU WON'T GET HURT.
HURT? ME?
THAT'S A LAUGH.
NATALIE, YOU'RE TALKING
TO A SEASONED GLADIATOR.
TILL SATURDAY THEN. BYE.
[REVEILLE PLAYS]
OOH, I LOVE THESE WAKE-UP CALLS!
WHY BLOW THAT KAZOO IN HERE?
YOU IGNORE ME OUT THERE.
TOUCH ME AND DIE.
EIGHT BALLS, HIT THE GROUND.
INSPECTION, FOLLOWED
BY A CLOSE-ORDER DRILL.
MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
WHY'D THAT JUDGE SEND ME HERE?
HE COULD HAVE PICKED JAIL!
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
RAISING THE OLD FLAG,
PRESENTING ARMS, AND
WATCHING THAT FLAG WAVE.
I'VE GOT YOUR FLAG.
CHIP'S GOT GUNG HO SPIRIT.
WHY DOESN'T THAT RUB OFF ON YOU?
IT DOESN'T RUB OFF.
I COULD BE OFF
POLISHING MY BUGLE.
THEN MOVE IT, MOVE IT!
WHAT A JERK!
ALFRED, WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
JUST DOING SOME READING.
LEARN TO BOX.
YOU?
YEAH, ME!
I ENTERED THE BOXING TOURNAMENT.
YOU DIDN'T.
YEAH, I DID.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I CAN'T DEFEND MYSELF?
YOUR MIGHTY MOUSE NIGHT LIGHT.
YOUR HERO'S ALBERT
EINSTEIN, NOT SUGAR RAY.
DID YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?
THINK ABOUT 32 TINY GRAVES,
AND IN THOSE GRAVES
ARE 32 TINY TEETH.
I ALREADY MADE UP MY MIND.
I ASKED MY GIRL,
NATALIE, TO COME.
YOU AND NATALIE ARE DATING?
GOOD FOR YOU.
DAD'S COMING. YOU'LL LIKE HIM.
HE'S LAID BACK FOR A GENERAL.
ONLY SALUTE IF YOU WANT TO.
YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR YOUR DAD?
HE WAS LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT
CHAMPION AT WEST POINT.
I'LL TAKE MY OLD MAN...
A NICE UNDEMANDING DRUNK.
I'M HAPPY DAD SUGGESTED
THE TOURNAMENT.
MAYBE HE SUGGESTED IT,
BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGHT.
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
WELL, YEAH. I MEAN...
LIKE DAD ALWAYS SAYS,
"WHY HAVE THE HIGHEST I.Q.
IF YOU CAN'T DARE SOMEBODY
TO KNOCK A BATTERY
OFF YOUR SHOULDER?"
IF YOU FIGHT, WE'LL
ALL STAND BEHIND YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT, HANK.
WE GOT TO SUPPORT OUR PAL.
SNEAK A ROLL OF DIMES
INTO YOUR FIST, THEN...
COULD WE HELP WITHOUT
GETTING HIM ARRESTED?
WHAT DO YOU WEIGH?
132.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
LOYALTY, FRIENDSHIP... MONEY!
THE BIG THREE.
AS I SEE IT,
THE GUYS ENTERED
IN YOUR DIVISION
ARE ACKERMAN,
KIBBEE, AND GRUSKY.
EVEN I COULD BEAT THESE GUYS.
GRUSKY CAN
HARDLY LIFT HIS RIFLE.
SMART MONEY SAYS BET ALFRED BIG!
IF MAJOR DORSEY CATCHES
YOU GAMBLING AGAIN,
HE'LL RUN YOUR LUNGS
UP THE FLAGPOLE.
ONE BOOKIE OPERATION
BRANDS YOU FOR LIFE.
OK. WE WHIP THE
CHAMP'S BODY INTO SHAPE.
FIRST, WE DO ROAD WORK.
NEGATIVE. THE KID TRAINS HERE.
WE'LL CONVINCE EVERYBODY
HE'S A CREAM PUFF.
WE WON'T CONVINCE
ANYBODY I'M A CREAM PUFF!
I'M IN GREAT SHAPE. FEEL THAT.
MAKE A MUSCLE.
12... 13...
13 1/2...
GOOD! DON'T LET US INTERRUPT.
I'M ALMOST FINISHED.
79, 80.
THAT IS AMAZING!
THREE DAYS AGO,
HE BARELY DID 13.
I'VE TURNED THIS
PLACE INTO A REAL GYM.
IT SMELLS LIKE ONE!
BOXING IS GREAT FOR SOLDIERS.
DROP YOUR RIFLE,
YOU'RE READY FOR
HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.
I'D DROP MY RIFLE AND RUN.
I'VE HAD BOXING LESSONS.
THE KEY IS UP HERE.
WHAT DO RICH BOYS KNOW?
OUR MANSION WAS IN A
ROUGH NEIGHBORHOOD.
COME HERE, ALFRED.
THE WHOLE POINT IN BODY BUILDING
IS TO TEAR THE MUSCLE DOWN
AND BUILD IT UP AGAIN.
SOUNDS PAINFUL.
IT IS!
CHIP, TAKE IT EASY.
DON'T TEAR DOWN A
GUY'S CONFIDENCE.
ATTITUDE IS HALF THE BATTLE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY ATTITUDE.
FROM HERE UP, I'M GREAT.
THE REST NEEDS HELP.
I DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS DAD.
I'VE GOT A SECRET
WEAPON RIGHT IN THIS BAG.
FOR BRUTE STRENGTH,
YOU EAT THE RIGHT FOODS.
BIG MACS?
AND SPAGHETTI...
FOR CARBOHYDRATES.
HEY, ALFRED.
TEAR THEM DOWN, BUILD THEM UP.
YOU'RE A LION STALKING PREY.
THINK "KING OF THE JUNGLE."
DON'T THINK. EAT!
KING OF THE JUNGLE!
EAT!
FINISH THOSE PHYSICALS?
JUST TRYING TO MAKE
THESE BARBARIC RITES SAFE.
OUR BOXING PROGRAM HAS
PROVEN SAFE FOR 75 YEARS.
NOT ONE CADET IS IN DANGER OF...
ALFRED WEBSTER?
YES, SIR?
WEBSTER, YOU ARE AWARE
THAT THIS IS THE
BOXING TOURNAMENT?
MY FATHER BOXED AT WEST POINT.
IT'S MY TURN.
HE'S COMING TOMORROW.
I'D LIKE TO MEET THE GENERAL.
LIEUTENANT, I HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU SINCE LAST NIGHT.
WHAT?
YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM DREAMING.
ARE YOU BOXING, RYAN?
NAW, IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
THESE ARE BOYS.
I COME FROM A WORLD OF MEN,
OF KILLER INSTINCT,
NAKED POWER, RAW
UNCHAINED FORCE.
BOXING DISGUSTS ME.
I WASN'T PART OF THAT WORLD.
SAW THE MATCH-UPS.
YOUR FIRST FIGHT IS WITH GRUSKY.
OVER THERE.
HEY, GRUSKY!
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, WEBSTER.
I'M DANGEROUS.
I'VE DROPPED THIS TWICE.
YOU NEED SOME HELP?
OH, PLEASE, PLEASE!
THANK YOU.
SO, GRUSKY.
YOU'VE DONE MUCH BOXING?
SURE. I WAS BOX
BOY AT FOOD GIANT.
DON'T GET FRIENDLY
WITH AN OPPONENT.
THIS IS WAR.
WE SIT TOGETHER IN CLASS.
THEN MOVE!
GRUSKY IS VICIOUS,
HE'S DIRTY, HE'S MEAN...
I CAN CHANGE.
NEXT!
MAJOR DORSEY, SIR!
DON'T SALUTE. I'M
NOT IN UNIFORM.
RESPECT IS HARD TO STOP, SIR.
ARE YOU BOXING?
AS CORP BUGLER, I
CAN'T ENDANGER MY LIP.
SIR, I'M COACHING MY FRIEND,
MICHAEL "MONGO" MORAHN.
YES. I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE BOXED.
TWO YEARS IN CHICAGO,
THE GOLDEN GLOVES.
VERY NICE. VERY NICE.
STEP ON THE SCALE, PLEASE.
YOU'VE FINALLY PUT
DOWN YOUR BUTTERFLY NET
AND JOINED A MAN'S SPORT.
ALFRED'S TOUGHER THAN HE LOOKS.
MISS PIGGY IS TOUGHER
THAN HE LOOKS.
WELTERWEIGHT'S THE
ONLY ROUGH DIVISION.
MONGO WILL MOP IT UP.
YOU'RE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION,
BUT I'D SAY MONGO IS A BOZO.
ISN'T IT A SHAME
GAMBLING ISN'T ALLOWED?
MAJOR DORSEY, TELEPHONE CALL.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, WEBSTER.
20 SAYS MONGO WINS.
THE SAME ON ALFRED'S FIGHT.
YOU OWE ME $40.
WE COVER.
WHAT'S THIS "WE"?
GENERAL WEBSTER, ALFRED
ONLY ENTERED TO PLEASE YOU.
I KNOW EMERGENCIES ARISE.
THIS MAKES FOUR IN A ROW.
YES, SIR. I REALIZE OUR
DIFFERENCE IN RANK.
YOU SHOULD TELL ALFRED.
I'LL PUT HIM ON.
WELL, CALL HIM WHEN
YOU HAVE TIME... SIR.
WHY DO THEY HAVE KIDS?
DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT, SIR?
NOT REALLY, GRUSKY, BUT THANKS.
MY PLEASURE.
133, 137... 140?
YOU WERE A LIGHTWEIGHT.
I AM.
NOT ANYMORE. 140 MAKES
YOU A WELTERWEIGHT.
HALLELUJAH!
140! I GAINED 8 POUNDS!
YOU AND YOUR BIG MACS!
THERE'S ONLY ONE
WELTERWEIGHT NOT MATCHED UP.
WEBSTER, YOUR OPPONENT
WILL BE... CADET MORAHN.
MONGO?
138. HE'S STILL A WELTERWEIGHT.
THAT ALL-NIGHT STEAM
BATH DIDN'T WORK.
HOW SOON IS THE FIGHT?
58 MINUTES.
WEIGHT WATCHERS IS OUT.
MONGO HAS GOT TO
HAVE A WEAKNESS.
YEAH. HE'S A LOUSY SPELLER.
HI, GUYS.
HI, ALFRED.
NATALIE.
YOU'RE HERE.
YEAH.
WE'LL LEAVE YOU TWO
TO SAY YOUR HELLOS.
AND YOUR GOOD-BYES.
GOOD-BYES?
OH, NOTHING. NOTHING.
ALFRED... YOU'VE GROWN.
YES. WE'RE SEEING
EYE-TO-EYE NOW.
SO, THIS IS WHERE YOU
GLADIATORS MIX IT UP.
OUR DATE IS AFTER THE FIGHT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH.
NO, I'M INTERESTED.
I'M WRITING AN ARTICLE
FOR OUR SCHOOL PAPER.
I'M CALLING IT GUTS
IN THE AFTERNOON.
CATCHY TITLE.
WOW!
THAT GUY LOOKS TOUGH.
WILL SOMEBODY FIGHT HIM?
YEAH.
ME!
YEAH. REALLY, WHO?
OHHH...
YOU'RE SERIOUS.
DEADLY.
ALFRED, HE LOOKS
VERY UNPLEASANT.
AREN'T YOU SCARED?
AM I SCARED?
YEAH.
I WOULDN'T EXPECT A
LONG FIGHT, NATALIE.
I WON'T EXPECT A VERY LONG LIFE.
WHY DON'T WE START
OUR DATE... NOW!
NO.
I CAN'T.
PLEASE! I'D HATE TO SEE
YOUR FACE REARRANGED.
MY FATHER ISN'T FLYING 300 MILES
TO SEE ME RUN FROM A FIGHT.
YOUR FATHER WANTS
YOU TO DO THIS?
YEAH!
I'M FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS.
I'M SEEING A SIDE OF
YOU I'VE NEVER SEEN.
BRAVE?
CRAZY.
A WOMAN WOULDN'T
UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.
IF IT'S TOO UGLY FOR YOU,
YOU BETTER NOT WATCH ME TRAIN.
FINE.
I'LL JUST GO TAKE
PICTURES OF THE CANNON.
WE CAN'T LET ALFRED FIGHT.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT COSTS ME.
I CARE!
ALFRED'S NOT THINKING CLEARLY.
IT'S UP TO US.
AHA! THERE YOU ARE.
ALFRED, HAVE YOU BEEN
PROPERLY INTRODUCED TO MONGO?
GOLDEN GLOVES, 1980,
THIS IS DEAD MEAT, '82.
MONGO, LET'S SHOW ALFRED
WHAT YOU'RE GOING
TO DO TO HIS BODY.
YEAH.
YOU READY?
UGGHHH!
SORRY.
DON'T BE. JUST
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
ALFRED. ALFRED!
I KNOW YOU'D RATHER DIE
THAN FORFEIT THIS FIGHT,
BUT YOU'RE TOO SICK.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
MEDIC!
LIEUTENANT BARTON,
YOU'LL DO NICELY.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
ALFRED, I MUST TELL HER,
ESPECIALLY AFTER YOUR
NAUSEA AND SHAKES LAST NIGHT.
NAUSEA AND SHAKES? YOU OK?
NO.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
TYPHOID. FLU.
THAT WAS AN EDUCATED GUESS.
HE'S GETTING PALE
AND LOSING FRECKLES.
MAYBE HE'S A BLEEDER.
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
YES, SIR, PLENTY.
THEY'RE SAYING WEBSTER'S
TOO SICK TO FIGHT.
MAYBE IT'S YELLOW FEVER.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I'VE FELT WORSE.
THEN AGAIN, I'VE FELT BETTER.
HE SEEMS A LITTLE SHAKY.
I HAVE TO GET READY.
FATHER'S COMING SOON.
UH, WEBSTER.
WE SHOULD TALK.
HE MEANT TO CALL.
YOU KNOW HOW BUSY GENERALS ARE.
YEAH.
HE WASN'T HERE
FOR THE SCIENCE FAIR.
HE WASN'T HERE FOR
THE CHRISTMAS SHOW.
YOU'D FIGURE HE'D BE HERE
TO SEE MY BRAINS BASHED IN.
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT THE FIGHT.
I'LL GET MY BRAINS BASHED IN.
YOU SURE YOU WANT TO?
I HAVE TO. IF I BACK OUT,
KNIGHT WON'T LET
ME LIVE IT DOWN.
BESIDES, MY GIRL'S OUT THERE.
SHE'S SO IMPRESSED,
SHE CALLED ME "CRAZY."
SHE HAS A POINT.
DON'T FIGHT MONGO TO IMPRESS HER
OR BECAUSE SOME
BLOWHARD CALLED YOU YELLOW.
I SAID I'D FIGHT.
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND.
BUT THAT IS CHICKENING OUT.
IT'S CALLED MAKING YOUR
OWN DECISIONS, ALFRED.
FIGHT IF YOU WANT TO.
DO IT FOR YOURSELF,
OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL.
WHO WON?
I'M BEGGING! DON'T DO THIS!
WE'LL GO FOR A SODA.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT LIZARDS.
OK, CHAMP. YOUR FIGHT IS NEXT.
ALFRED, GET OFF THIS MACHO TRIP.
I LIKE YOU THE WAY
YOU ARE... IN ONE PIECE!
COME ON, CHAMP.
GOOD LUCK, MONGO.
YEAH, PAL.
AREN'T YOU TAKING
RESNICK'S PHYSICS CLASS?
YEAH. WHY?
TOUGH CLASS.
NOBODY GOT HIGHER THAN A
"D" WITHOUT ALFRED'S TUTORING.
WINNER OF THE ALBERT
EINSTEIN THINK-ALIKE CONTEST.
YEAH?
I WOULDN'T RIP HIS HEAD OFF.
I WOULD JUST MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD.
I'D TAKE A DIVE.
GUYS, I ACCEPT VISA
AND MASTERCARD.
NEXT, WELTERWEIGHTS.
MICHAEL "MONGO" MORAHN... YEAAA!
AGAINST ALFRED WEBSTER!
[PLAYING TAPS]
CAN IT, KNIGHT!
I WAS JUST PRACTICING, SIR.
FIGHT THREE TWO-MINUTE ROUNDS.
KEEP YOUR PUNCHES UP.
A KNOCKDOWN TAKES A
STANDING EIGHT COUNT.
GOOD LUCK.
AVOID HIS RIGHT.
AVOID HIS LEFT.
TRY TO GET BEHIND HIM.
[RING]
ALFRED!
MONGO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MONGO, KILL! KILL!
MONGO! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
HIT HIM IN THE FACE!
OH, ALFRED!
THAT'S IT! THE WINNER,
CADET MORAHN!
IT WAS A LUCKY PUNCH.
GREAT FIGHT, ALFRED.
WE'RE BANKRUPT!
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
WE'RE PROUD OF YOU.
HEY, YOU WERE TOUGH.
NO HARD FEELINGS?
NAW.
SEE YOU IN PHYSICS CLASS.
COME ON, CHAMP.
ALFRED?
NATALIE?
HE HIT YOU SO HARD.
YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME.
LEAVE ME ALONE, GUYS.
THANKS.
ALFRED, I STILL
THINK YOU'RE CRAZY.
THANKS.
NICE FIGHT, WEBSTER.
THANK YOU, SIR.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO DO THIS FOR ME.
I DIDN'T DO IT FOR YOU OR THEM,
AND I DIDN'T DO
IT FOR MY FATHER.
THEN WHY?
I DID IT FOR ME.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS
YOU PROVED YOU'RE YOUR OWN MAN.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS
I WILL NEVER HAVE
TO DO THAT AGAIN.
---
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
NATALIE?
THIS IS ALFRED WEBSTER.
STONE MILITARY ACADEMY DANCE...
LAST SPRING?
YOU WERE MY DATE, REMEMBER?
OF COURSE. HOW COULD I FORGET?
WE DISCUSSED THE EATING
HABITS OF LIZARDS IN VENEZUELA.
I HAD A BALL, TOO.
I'M TAKING OUR RELATIONSHIP
TO THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP.
WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
I'M IN THIS TOURNAMENT SATURDAY.
YOU WANT TO COME
WATCH ME MIX IT UP?
YOU'RE IN A BAKE-OFF?
NO, A BOXING TOURNAMENT.
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD COME?
LET ME CHECK MY
SCHEDULE, ALFRED.
BE RIGHT BACK.
IS THAT ALFRED
FROM STONE MILITARY?
HE'S INVITED ME TO A
BOXING TOURNAMENT.
I THINK A BOXING
TOURNAMENT'S A GREAT DATE!
YOU WOULD.
NAT, ARE YOU GOING?
OF COURSE SHE'S GOING!
I AM?
NATALIE, THOSE ARE
ROMANTIC ODDS...
300 HANDSOME CADETS...
AND JUST ONE YOU.
YEAH!
HELLO, ALFRED.
SATURDAY'S FINE,
BUT PROMISE YOU WON'T GET HURT.
HURT? ME?
THAT'S A LAUGH.
NATALIE, YOU'RE TALKING
TO A SEASONED GLADIATOR.
TILL SATURDAY THEN. BYE.
[REVEILLE PLAYS]
OOH, I LOVE THESE WAKE-UP CALLS!
WHY BLOW THAT KAZOO IN HERE?
YOU IGNORE ME OUT THERE.
TOUCH ME AND DIE.
EIGHT BALLS, HIT THE GROUND.
INSPECTION, FOLLOWED
BY A CLOSE-ORDER DRILL.
MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
WHY'D THAT JUDGE SEND ME HERE?
HE COULD HAVE PICKED JAIL!
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
RAISING THE OLD FLAG,
PRESENTING ARMS, AND
WATCHING THAT FLAG WAVE.
I'VE GOT YOUR FLAG.
CHIP'S GOT GUNG HO SPIRIT.
WHY DOESN'T THAT RUB OFF ON YOU?
IT DOESN'T RUB OFF.
I COULD BE OFF
POLISHING MY BUGLE.
THEN MOVE IT, MOVE IT!
WHAT A JERK!
ALFRED, WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
JUST DOING SOME READING.
LEARN TO BOX.
YOU?
YEAH, ME!
I ENTERED THE BOXING TOURNAMENT.
YOU DIDN'T.
YEAH, I DID.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I CAN'T DEFEND MYSELF?
YOUR MIGHTY MOUSE NIGHT LIGHT.
YOUR HERO'S ALBERT
EINSTEIN, NOT SUGAR RAY.
DID YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?
THINK ABOUT 32 TINY GRAVES,
AND IN THOSE GRAVES
ARE 32 TINY TEETH.
I ALREADY MADE UP MY MIND.
I ASKED MY GIRL,
NATALIE, TO COME.
YOU AND NATALIE ARE DATING?
GOOD FOR YOU.
DAD'S COMING. YOU'LL LIKE HIM.
HE'S LAID BACK FOR A GENERAL.
ONLY SALUTE IF YOU WANT TO.
YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR YOUR DAD?
HE WAS LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT
CHAMPION AT WEST POINT.
I'LL TAKE MY OLD MAN...
A NICE UNDEMANDING DRUNK.
I'M HAPPY DAD SUGGESTED
THE TOURNAMENT.
MAYBE HE SUGGESTED IT,
BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGHT.
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
WELL, YEAH. I MEAN...
LIKE DAD ALWAYS SAYS,
"WHY HAVE THE HIGHEST I.Q.
IF YOU CAN'T DARE SOMEBODY
TO KNOCK A BATTERY
OFF YOUR SHOULDER?"
IF YOU FIGHT, WE'LL
ALL STAND BEHIND YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT, HANK.
WE GOT TO SUPPORT OUR PAL.
SNEAK A ROLL OF DIMES
INTO YOUR FIST, THEN...
COULD WE HELP WITHOUT
GETTING HIM ARRESTED?
WHAT DO YOU WEIGH?
132.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
LOYALTY, FRIENDSHIP... MONEY!
THE BIG THREE.
AS I SEE IT,
THE GUYS ENTERED
IN YOUR DIVISION
ARE ACKERMAN,
KIBBEE, AND GRUSKY.
EVEN I COULD BEAT THESE GUYS.
GRUSKY CAN
HARDLY LIFT HIS RIFLE.
SMART MONEY SAYS BET ALFRED BIG!
IF MAJOR DORSEY CATCHES
YOU GAMBLING AGAIN,
HE'LL RUN YOUR LUNGS
UP THE FLAGPOLE.
ONE BOOKIE OPERATION
BRANDS YOU FOR LIFE.
OK. WE WHIP THE
CHAMP'S BODY INTO SHAPE.
FIRST, WE DO ROAD WORK.
NEGATIVE. THE KID TRAINS HERE.
WE'LL CONVINCE EVERYBODY
HE'S A CREAM PUFF.
WE WON'T CONVINCE
ANYBODY I'M A CREAM PUFF!
I'M IN GREAT SHAPE. FEEL THAT.
MAKE A MUSCLE.
12... 13...
13 1/2...
GOOD! DON'T LET US INTERRUPT.
I'M ALMOST FINISHED.
79, 80.
THAT IS AMAZING!
THREE DAYS AGO,
HE BARELY DID 13.
I'VE TURNED THIS
PLACE INTO A REAL GYM.
IT SMELLS LIKE ONE!
BOXING IS GREAT FOR SOLDIERS.
DROP YOUR RIFLE,
YOU'RE READY FOR
HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.
I'D DROP MY RIFLE AND RUN.
I'VE HAD BOXING LESSONS.
THE KEY IS UP HERE.
WHAT DO RICH BOYS KNOW?
OUR MANSION WAS IN A
ROUGH NEIGHBORHOOD.
COME HERE, ALFRED.
THE WHOLE POINT IN BODY BUILDING
IS TO TEAR THE MUSCLE DOWN
AND BUILD IT UP AGAIN.
SOUNDS PAINFUL.
IT IS!
CHIP, TAKE IT EASY.
DON'T TEAR DOWN A
GUY'S CONFIDENCE.
ATTITUDE IS HALF THE BATTLE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY ATTITUDE.
FROM HERE UP, I'M GREAT.
THE REST NEEDS HELP.
I DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS DAD.
I'VE GOT A SECRET
WEAPON RIGHT IN THIS BAG.
FOR BRUTE STRENGTH,
YOU EAT THE RIGHT FOODS.
BIG MACS?
AND SPAGHETTI...
FOR CARBOHYDRATES.
HEY, ALFRED.
TEAR THEM DOWN, BUILD THEM UP.
YOU'RE A LION STALKING PREY.
THINK "KING OF THE JUNGLE."
DON'T THINK. EAT!
KING OF THE JUNGLE!
EAT!
FINISH THOSE PHYSICALS?
JUST TRYING TO MAKE
THESE BARBARIC RITES SAFE.
OUR BOXING PROGRAM HAS
PROVEN SAFE FOR 75 YEARS.
NOT ONE CADET IS IN DANGER OF...
ALFRED WEBSTER?
YES, SIR?
WEBSTER, YOU ARE AWARE
THAT THIS IS THE
BOXING TOURNAMENT?
MY FATHER BOXED AT WEST POINT.
IT'S MY TURN.
HE'S COMING TOMORROW.
I'D LIKE TO MEET THE GENERAL.
LIEUTENANT, I HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU SINCE LAST NIGHT.
WHAT?
YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM DREAMING.
ARE YOU BOXING, RYAN?
NAW, IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
THESE ARE BOYS.
I COME FROM A WORLD OF MEN,
OF KILLER INSTINCT,
NAKED POWER, RAW
UNCHAINED FORCE.
BOXING DISGUSTS ME.
I WASN'T PART OF THAT WORLD.
SAW THE MATCH-UPS.
YOUR FIRST FIGHT IS WITH GRUSKY.
OVER THERE.
HEY, GRUSKY!
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, WEBSTER.
I'M DANGEROUS.
I'VE DROPPED THIS TWICE.
YOU NEED SOME HELP?
OH, PLEASE, PLEASE!
THANK YOU.
SO, GRUSKY.
YOU'VE DONE MUCH BOXING?
SURE. I WAS BOX
BOY AT FOOD GIANT.
DON'T GET FRIENDLY
WITH AN OPPONENT.
THIS IS WAR.
WE SIT TOGETHER IN CLASS.
THEN MOVE!
GRUSKY IS VICIOUS,
HE'S DIRTY, HE'S MEAN...
I CAN CHANGE.
NEXT!
MAJOR DORSEY, SIR!
DON'T SALUTE. I'M
NOT IN UNIFORM.
RESPECT IS HARD TO STOP, SIR.
ARE YOU BOXING?
AS CORP BUGLER, I
CAN'T ENDANGER MY LIP.
SIR, I'M COACHING MY FRIEND,
MICHAEL "MONGO" MORAHN.
YES. I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE BOXED.
TWO YEARS IN CHICAGO,
THE GOLDEN GLOVES.
VERY NICE. VERY NICE.
STEP ON THE SCALE, PLEASE.
YOU'VE FINALLY PUT
DOWN YOUR BUTTERFLY NET
AND JOINED A MAN'S SPORT.
ALFRED'S TOUGHER THAN HE LOOKS.
MISS PIGGY IS TOUGHER
THAN HE LOOKS.
WELTERWEIGHT'S THE
ONLY ROUGH DIVISION.
MONGO WILL MOP IT UP.
YOU'RE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION,
BUT I'D SAY MONGO IS A BOZO.
ISN'T IT A SHAME
GAMBLING ISN'T ALLOWED?
MAJOR DORSEY, TELEPHONE CALL.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, WEBSTER.
20 SAYS MONGO WINS.
THE SAME ON ALFRED'S FIGHT.
YOU OWE ME $40.
WE COVER.
WHAT'S THIS "WE"?
GENERAL WEBSTER, ALFRED
ONLY ENTERED TO PLEASE YOU.
I KNOW EMERGENCIES ARISE.
THIS MAKES FOUR IN A ROW.
YES, SIR. I REALIZE OUR
DIFFERENCE IN RANK.
YOU SHOULD TELL ALFRED.
I'LL PUT HIM ON.
WELL, CALL HIM WHEN
YOU HAVE TIME... SIR.
WHY DO THEY HAVE KIDS?
DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT, SIR?
NOT REALLY, GRUSKY, BUT THANKS.
MY PLEASURE.
133, 137... 140?
YOU WERE A LIGHTWEIGHT.
I AM.
NOT ANYMORE. 140 MAKES
YOU A WELTERWEIGHT.
HALLELUJAH!
140! I GAINED 8 POUNDS!
YOU AND YOUR BIG MACS!
THERE'S ONLY ONE
WELTERWEIGHT NOT MATCHED UP.
WEBSTER, YOUR OPPONENT
WILL BE... CADET MORAHN.
MONGO?
138. HE'S STILL A WELTERWEIGHT.
THAT ALL-NIGHT STEAM
BATH DIDN'T WORK.
HOW SOON IS THE FIGHT?
58 MINUTES.
WEIGHT WATCHERS IS OUT.
MONGO HAS GOT TO
HAVE A WEAKNESS.
YEAH. HE'S A LOUSY SPELLER.
HI, GUYS.
HI, ALFRED.
NATALIE.
YOU'RE HERE.
YEAH.
WE'LL LEAVE YOU TWO
TO SAY YOUR HELLOS.
AND YOUR GOOD-BYES.
GOOD-BYES?
OH, NOTHING. NOTHING.
ALFRED... YOU'VE GROWN.
YES. WE'RE SEEING
EYE-TO-EYE NOW.
SO, THIS IS WHERE YOU
GLADIATORS MIX IT UP.
OUR DATE IS AFTER THE FIGHT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH.
NO, I'M INTERESTED.
I'M WRITING AN ARTICLE
FOR OUR SCHOOL PAPER.
I'M CALLING IT GUTS
IN THE AFTERNOON.
CATCHY TITLE.
WOW!
THAT GUY LOOKS TOUGH.
WILL SOMEBODY FIGHT HIM?
YEAH.
ME!
YEAH. REALLY, WHO?
OHHH...
YOU'RE SERIOUS.
DEADLY.
ALFRED, HE LOOKS
VERY UNPLEASANT.
AREN'T YOU SCARED?
AM I SCARED?
YEAH.
I WOULDN'T EXPECT A
LONG FIGHT, NATALIE.
I WON'T EXPECT A VERY LONG LIFE.
WHY DON'T WE START
OUR DATE... NOW!
NO.
I CAN'T.
PLEASE! I'D HATE TO SEE
YOUR FACE REARRANGED.
MY FATHER ISN'T FLYING 300 MILES
TO SEE ME RUN FROM A FIGHT.
YOUR FATHER WANTS
YOU TO DO THIS?
YEAH!
I'M FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS.
I'M SEEING A SIDE OF
YOU I'VE NEVER SEEN.
BRAVE?
CRAZY.
A WOMAN WOULDN'T
UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.
IF IT'S TOO UGLY FOR YOU,
YOU BETTER NOT WATCH ME TRAIN.
FINE.
I'LL JUST GO TAKE
PICTURES OF THE CANNON.
WE CAN'T LET ALFRED FIGHT.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT COSTS ME.
I CARE!
ALFRED'S NOT THINKING CLEARLY.
IT'S UP TO US.
AHA! THERE YOU ARE.
ALFRED, HAVE YOU BEEN
PROPERLY INTRODUCED TO MONGO?
GOLDEN GLOVES, 1980,
THIS IS DEAD MEAT, '82.
MONGO, LET'S SHOW ALFRED
WHAT YOU'RE GOING
TO DO TO HIS BODY.
YEAH.
YOU READY?
UGGHHH!
SORRY.
DON'T BE. JUST
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
ALFRED. ALFRED!
I KNOW YOU'D RATHER DIE
THAN FORFEIT THIS FIGHT,
BUT YOU'RE TOO SICK.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
MEDIC!
LIEUTENANT BARTON,
YOU'LL DO NICELY.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
ALFRED, I MUST TELL HER,
ESPECIALLY AFTER YOUR
NAUSEA AND SHAKES LAST NIGHT.
NAUSEA AND SHAKES? YOU OK?
NO.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
TYPHOID. FLU.
THAT WAS AN EDUCATED GUESS.
HE'S GETTING PALE
AND LOSING FRECKLES.
MAYBE HE'S A BLEEDER.
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
YES, SIR, PLENTY.
THEY'RE SAYING WEBSTER'S
TOO SICK TO FIGHT.
MAYBE IT'S YELLOW FEVER.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I'VE FELT WORSE.
THEN AGAIN, I'VE FELT BETTER.
HE SEEMS A LITTLE SHAKY.
I HAVE TO GET READY.
FATHER'S COMING SOON.
UH, WEBSTER.
WE SHOULD TALK.
HE MEANT TO CALL.
YOU KNOW HOW BUSY GENERALS ARE.
YEAH.
HE WASN'T HERE
FOR THE SCIENCE FAIR.
HE WASN'T HERE FOR
THE CHRISTMAS SHOW.
YOU'D FIGURE HE'D BE HERE
TO SEE MY BRAINS BASHED IN.
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT THE FIGHT.
I'LL GET MY BRAINS BASHED IN.
YOU SURE YOU WANT TO?
I HAVE TO. IF I BACK OUT,
KNIGHT WON'T LET
ME LIVE IT DOWN.
BESIDES, MY GIRL'S OUT THERE.
SHE'S SO IMPRESSED,
SHE CALLED ME "CRAZY."
SHE HAS A POINT.
DON'T FIGHT MONGO TO IMPRESS HER
OR BECAUSE SOME
BLOWHARD CALLED YOU YELLOW.
I SAID I'D FIGHT.
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND.
BUT THAT IS CHICKENING OUT.
IT'S CALLED MAKING YOUR
OWN DECISIONS, ALFRED.
FIGHT IF YOU WANT TO.
DO IT FOR YOURSELF,
OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL.
WHO WON?
I'M BEGGING! DON'T DO THIS!
WE'LL GO FOR A SODA.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT LIZARDS.
OK, CHAMP. YOUR FIGHT IS NEXT.
ALFRED, GET OFF THIS MACHO TRIP.
I LIKE YOU THE WAY
YOU ARE... IN ONE PIECE!
COME ON, CHAMP.
GOOD LUCK, MONGO.
YEAH, PAL.
AREN'T YOU TAKING
RESNICK'S PHYSICS CLASS?
YEAH. WHY?
TOUGH CLASS.
NOBODY GOT HIGHER THAN A
"D" WITHOUT ALFRED'S TUTORING.
WINNER OF THE ALBERT
EINSTEIN THINK-ALIKE CONTEST.
YEAH?
I WOULDN'T RIP HIS HEAD OFF.
I WOULD JUST MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD.
I'D TAKE A DIVE.
GUYS, I ACCEPT VISA
AND MASTERCARD.
NEXT, WELTERWEIGHTS.
MICHAEL "MONGO" MORAHN... YEAAA!
AGAINST ALFRED WEBSTER!
[PLAYING TAPS]
CAN IT, KNIGHT!
I WAS JUST PRACTICING, SIR.
FIGHT THREE TWO-MINUTE ROUNDS.
KEEP YOUR PUNCHES UP.
A KNOCKDOWN TAKES A
STANDING EIGHT COUNT.
GOOD LUCK.
AVOID HIS RIGHT.
AVOID HIS LEFT.
TRY TO GET BEHIND HIM.
[RING]
ALFRED!
MONGO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MONGO, KILL! KILL!
MONGO! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
HIT HIM IN THE FACE!
OH, ALFRED!
THAT'S IT! THE WINNER,
CADET MORAHN!
IT WAS A LUCKY PUNCH.
GREAT FIGHT, ALFRED.
WE'RE BANKRUPT!
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
WE'RE PROUD OF YOU.
HEY, YOU WERE TOUGH.
NO HARD FEELINGS?
NAW.
SEE YOU IN PHYSICS CLASS.
COME ON, CHAMP.
ALFRED?
NATALIE?
HE HIT YOU SO HARD.
YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME.
LEAVE ME ALONE, GUYS.
THANKS.
ALFRED, I STILL
THINK YOU'RE CRAZY.
THANKS.
NICE FIGHT, WEBSTER.
THANK YOU, SIR.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO DO THIS FOR ME.
I DIDN'T DO IT FOR YOU OR THEM,
AND I DIDN'T DO
IT FOR MY FATHER.
THEN WHY?
I DID IT FOR ME.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS
YOU PROVED YOU'RE YOUR OWN MAN.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS
I WILL NEVER HAVE
TO DO THAT AGAIN.