The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 4, Episode 10 - For the Asking - full transcript
Natalie refuses to go to the Sadie Hawkins Day dance.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
WHAT'S HAPPENING
IN THE CAFETERIA?
NOTHING.
BOYS.
BATES BOYS.
WHY ARE THEY HERE?
THEY'RE HERE. DON'T QUESTION IT.
MRS. GARRETT IS MEETING
WITH SOME DANCE COMMITTEE.
NATALIE'S GOT A CRUSH ON ONE.
I DON'T!
I JUST THINK HE'S SMART...
AND NICE AND FUNNY
AND INTERESTING...
SORRY.
MY MISTAKE.
WELL, THE MEETING'S ADJOURNED.
I WISH THEY'D MOVE THAT
FAST AT CLEAN-UP TIMES.
IF THE BALLOONS GIVE
YOU TROUBLE, TELL ME.
WE'VE GOT ENOUGH
HOT AIR OVER AT BATES.
RIGHT.
BEN'S THE ONE.
THE ONE WHAT?
THE ONE NATALIE
DOESN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON.
WE'LL MEET OUTSIDE.
OK.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
WE'LL GET TOGETHER
AND TALK ABOUT FOOD.
MY FAVORITE SUBJECT.
THIS DANCE WILL BE
THE BEST ONE YET!
WHAT TORTURE HAS THE
COMMITTEE COME UP WITH?
OH, YOU'LL LOVE IT.
IT'S FORMAL.
LONG GOWNS, WHITE
GLOVES, TIARAS...
THAT'S JUST THE GUYS.
ACTUALLY, BEN THOUGHT
OF THIS FABULOUS IDEA.
SATURDAY NIGHT, EASTLAND
AND BATES ARE HOLDING
A SADIE HAWKINS DAY DANCE.
IS SADIE ANOTHER
EASTLAND GRADUATE?
SHE'S A CHARACTER
IN THE LI'L ABNER
COMIC STRIP, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
ANYWAY, THEY NAMED THE DANCE
AFTER OLD SADIE.
OH, LIKE THE TWIST?
WELL, IT HAS A TWIST TO IT.
THE GIRL INVITES THE BOY.
I'M NOT GOING WITH ANY
GUY WEARING A TIARA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THE GIRL ASKS THE GUY?
YES.
IT SOUNDS DEGRADING.
OBVIOUSLY THIS SADIE
PERSON COULDN'T GET A DATE.
SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
I GUESS.
SO... THIS WAS YOUR
BRAINSTORM, HUH?
YEAH. I'VE GOT TO BE GOING.
ABOUT THE FOOD, I GOT
TWO WORDS... CLAM DIP.
GOT IT!
BYE.
TIME TO SET UP!
GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.
I'VE NEVER ASKED A GUY OUT.
IMAGINE CALLING
SOMEBODY UP AND SAYING,
"WANT TO BOOGIE?"
IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING
TO WATCH A GIRL ASK A GUY OUT.
SO DON'T WATCH.
NAT, THIS IS YOUR
CHANCE TO ASK BEN.
BEN? BEN WHO?
BEN... SMART, NICE,
FUNNY, ET CETERA.
WHY WOULD I ASK HIM?
HE DOESN'T LOOK AT ME.
NATALIE, I THINK HE LIKES YOU.
HE DOESN'T KNOW I'M ALIVE.
I'VE SEEN HIM TALK
TO YOU ON CAMPUS.
HE SPOKE AT A PEP RALLY.
I WAS IN THE CROWD.
IT'S TIME TO BREAK THE ICE.
THIS IS JUST ANOTHER FORM
OF MALE CHAUVINIST MANIPULATION.
SILLY ME.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN.
WHY ARE YOU DOWN ON THIS?
THIS DANCE WAS A GUY'S IDEA.
I WON'T ASK A GUY OUT
WHEN HE SAYS IT'S OK.
I WANT TO GO.
NO, YOU DON'T!
YES, I DO.
WELL, NOBODY
ELSE IS GOING TO GO.
YOU'RE NOT GOING, ARE YOU?
OF COURSE NOT.
ASKING A BOY OUT
IS AGAINST NATURE.
IT'S THE MAN'S PLACE TO ASK.
THE WOMAN TRICKS HIM INTO IT.
ARE YOU GOING?
NO WAY!
WHERE AM I NOT GOING?
TO THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.
NO GIRL IN HER RIGHT
MIND WOULD ASK
ONE OF THOSE MINDLESS,
SPINELESS, TWERP FACES.
YOU SEE? I REST MY CASE.
HERE WE HAVE THREE YOUNG WOMEN
WHO ARE TAKING A
STAND HERE ON PRINCIPLE.
ARE YOU WITH US OR AGAINST US?
YOU MAKE IT SEEM LIKE
THE FATE OF THE
WORLD RESTS ON THIS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M GOING.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF.
A GIRL STAYS HOME,
SHE'S A WALLFLOWER.
A GUY STAYS HOME,
HE'S INDEPENDENT.
NATALIE... WE HAVE TO
SHATTER THAT IMAGE.
BUT, NAT, I WANT TO GO.
YOU WANT TO GO?
ARE YOU SAYING YOU'LL SACRIFICE
EVERYTHING WOMEN
HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR?
YOU'LL UNDERMINE
THE INDEPENDENCE
THAT WE, GLORIA,
AND HELEN GURLEY
WORKED SO HARD TO ACHIEVE?
YOU'LL DO ALL THAT
OVER A CRUMMY DANCE?
YEAH.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
I WON'T SEE THAT MOVIE
WITH ANYBODY ELSE.
SEE YOU SUNDAY AT 6:00.
BYE, GUY.
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO WON?
UH-HUH.
WELL, YOU LOST.
THAT'S NICE.
ACTUALLY, I CREAMED YOU.
UH-HUH.
YOU TAKE THE JOY OUT OF WINNING.
DON'T YOU WANT TO
KNOW THE SCORE?
I'M KEEPING MY
SCORE, MRS. GARRETT.
THIS SADIE HAWKINS THING
OPENED UP A NEW WORLD.
I CAN ASK A GUY OUT ANY TIME.
ABSOLUTELY. IT WAS
DECLARED LEGAL YEARS AGO.
IN THE LIBRARY, I CAN
ASK A GUY TO THE MOVIES.
AT THE SUPERMARKET,
I CAN ASK A GUY OUT FOR PIZZA.
ON A STREET CORNER,
IF A GUY WALKS BY...
NO, TOOTIE, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
OH, NO!
I'VE INVITED KEVIN AND
RON TO THE SAME MOVIE.
I'LL SEE IT TWICE.
EVEN WARREN BEATTY TAKES A BREAK
ONCE IN A WHILE.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH SHE'S
GOING TO THE DANCE,
BUT SHE'S GONE CRAZY.
ARE YOU BOOKED UP
THROUGH CHRISTMAS?
NEW YEAR'S.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU'RE BOYCOTTING THE DANCE.
IT'S LIKE COMING
OUT AGAINST E.T.
HE'S THE ONLY GUY
SHE DIDN'T INVITE.
TELL NATALIE SHE'S BEING
STUBBORN AND UNREASONABLE.
EXPLAIN TO TOOTIE ABOUT
STANDING ON YOUR PRINCIPLES.
YOU STAND ON YOUR PRINCIPLES.
I'LL STAND ON MY HEAD.
AND MEDITATE.
YOU THINK YOU'LL HAVE
A GREAT TIME AT THAT DANCE?
YEAH.
WELL, YOU'RE WRONG.
THE REAL FUN WILL BE RIGHT HERE.
BLAIR, JO, AND I WILL STAY HOME,
GET COMFY, AND
EAT LIKE ANIMALS...
WITHOUT ANY GUYS WATCHING.
I'D RATHER EAT LIKE A BIRD
WITH GUYS WATCHING.
IF YOU'RE AFRAID TO CALL BEN,
I'LL CALL HIM FOR YOU.
BEN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!
I'M GLAD I WENT TO THE LIBRARY.
I GOT SOME IMPORTANT
INFORMATION THERE.
LIKE WHAT?
I MUST INVITE A BOY
FOR SATURDAY NIGHT.
TO THE DANCE? WHY?
NATALIE, MY IMAGE IS AT STAKE.
AS IT TURNS OUT,
EVERYBODY'S GOING TO THAT DANCE.
IF I DON'T GO, IT
WOULD LOOK LIKE...
WELL, LIKE... YOU
COULDN'T GET A DATE?
IT EVEN SOUNDS
RIDICULOUS, DOESN'T IT?
IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.
IT WILL GIVE SOME DESERVING
YOUNG FELLOW A THRILL
TO BE ASKED BY ME.
EVERYONE WILL FIND
OUT YOU'RE ASKING A BOY.
I KNOW.
THE WORD WILL
SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE...
"BLAIR WARNER'S ON THE PROWL."
THEN IT STARTS.
A WINK HERE... A SMILE THERE...
ONE BY ONE, THEY'RE DRAWN TO ME
LIKE MOTHS TO A FLAME.
BLOW OUT YOUR CANDLE, BLAIR.
YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE
WHAT HAPPENED.
AT THE ARCADE,
THIS GUY MITCH AND I HIT IT OFF.
HE ASKED YOU OUT?
I ASKED HIM OUT.
HE GOES TO BATES.
WE'RE GOING TO THE DANCE.
YOU MET A BATES
BOY AT THE ARCADE?
YES.
IT'S PART OF THE
OVERALL MORAL DECLINE.
I THINK I HEARD SOME
STRANGE WORDS
MIXED UP IN THE SAME SENTENCE.
LIKE, "JO," "DANCE,"
AND "GOING TO THE."
I'M TAKING MITCH TO THE DANCE.
YOU CAN'T MEAN THAT.
WHY?
YOU SAID BATES BOYS
WERE MINDLESS,
SPINELESS, TWERP FACES.
I WAS WRONG.
JO.
ON BEHALF OF EASTLAND
WOMEN EVERYWHERE,
DON'T GO!
NAT, I WANT TO GO.
IT'S NO BIG THING.
YOU'LL SET US BACK 10 SEMESTERS.
DOESN'T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND
THE WORD "COMMITMENT"?
OBVIOUSLY NOT, BUT THAT'S OK.
I'LL STAND HERE ALONE
WITH MY PRINCIPLES.
GO! GO!
BUT WHEN THEY REFUSE
YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
TO MS. MAGAZINE, DON'T
COME RUNNING TO ME!
TIMES LIKE THESE
SHOW WHO STANDS FIRM FOR CAUSES
AND WHO SELLS OUT AND
GOES TO A STUPID DANCE!
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
ABOUT THE DANCE
IF YOU ASK SOMEONE TO GO.
IT'S PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE.
THAT'S WHAT THOSE BRISTOL
CREAM COMMERCIALS ARE ABOUT.
DON'T TRY TO CONFUSE ME.
HI. ANYBODY CALL?
THE PHONE COMPANY.
THEY THANKED YOU
FOR REACHING OUT
AND TOUCHING EVERYONE.
DON'T BE SUCH A GROUCH.
JUST CALL BEN.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
EVEN IF I DID,
SOMEONE'S PROBABLY
ALREADY ASKED HIM.
MAYBE NOT YET.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU KNOW I'M NOT A BUTTINSKY.
BUT?
AND I CERTAINLY NEVER LISTEN IN
TO OTHER PEOPLE'S CONVERSATIONS.
BUT?
OH, NEVER MIND.
WHAT? WHAT?
AT THE DANCE COMMITTEE
MEETING THIS MORNING,
I GOT THE IMPRESSION
THAT EUNICE WAS GEARING
UP TO ASK BEN TO THE DANCE.
NAT, QUICK!
EUNICE IS CIRCLING!
CALL BEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE.
PICK UP THE PHONE AND ASK!
"PICK UP THE PHONE!"
THAT'S YOUR ANSWER
FOR EVERYTHING.
HOW WILL YOU KNOW
WITHOUT ASKING?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
BESIDES, I CAN HEAR
THE CONVERSATION NOW.
"HI, BEN. IT'S NATALIE."
"NATALIE WHO?"
NATALIE, I'LL BET
THAT WON'T HAPPEN.
I SAW HOW HE LOOKED AT YOU.
HE LOOKED AT MY LOAFERS!
EXACTLY. LISTEN.
WHEN I WAS IN THE SEVENTH GRADE,
THERE WAS THIS GUY
ALL THE GIRLS SAID
WAS CRAZY ABOUT ME.
BUT WHEN WE PASSED IN THE HALL,
HE'D HIT MY HEAD
WITH HIS BOOK BAG.
HARD!
BUT THEY KEPT SAYING,
"HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU."
AND THEY WERE RIGHT.
TWO YEARS LATER, HE
STOPPED HITTING ME...
AND ASKED ME TO GO STEADY.
THAT'S A LOVELY STORY.
BUT BEN DOESN'T EVEN ELBOW ME
WHEN HE WALKS BY.
IT'S FOR YOU.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE IT'S RINGING.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, NAT?
WHEN TOOTIE'S FINISHED,
WHY NOT GIVE BEN A CALL?
WHAT IF HE SAYS NO
OR LAUGHS AT ME?
IT'S AWFUL LEAVING YOURSELF OPEN
TO THAT KIND OF REJECTION.
IT'S TOUGH, BUT GUYS
ALWAYS HAVE TO DO IT.
I'D RATHER STAY HOME SATURDAY
WITH THE JACK OF CLUBS.
I'M NOT GOING TO THE DANCE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
MITCH CAN'T MAKE IT.
HE HAS TO GO OUT OF TOWN.
OH, JO... YOU MUST FEEL AWFUL.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
I'LL STAY HOME AND
BEAT YOU AT GIN.
I'M REALLY NOT CRAZY
ABOUT THIS BOWL.
MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY
AND SOMEONE WILL DROP IT.
MICHAEL WON'T GO WITH ME
BECAUSE I'M DATING HIS ROOMMATE.
GUYS CAN BE SO TOUCHY!
WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?
GO BACK TO YOUR BULLPEN.
IT'S PACKED.
RIGHT! I'LL CALL SOMEBODY ELSE.
I DON'T BELIEVE HER!
I WISH I COULD DO THAT.
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!
WHAT?
I HAD GUYS LINED UP
LIKE DUCKS IN A
SHOOTING GALLERY,
AND I FINALLY PICKED DONALD.
SO WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
HE SAID I WAITED TOO LONG,
AND HE ACCEPTED
ANOTHER INVITATION.
SO ASK SOMEBODY ELSE.
I DID.
I ASKED THEM ALL.
SO... YOU'LL STAY
HOME WITH JO AND ME
AND PLAY HEARTS.
IT'S NO BIGGIE.
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT?
I'LL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN.
NOBODY CAN GO TO
THE DANCE WITH ME!
RONNY HEARD I WAS TAKING MICHAEL
AND BRAD THOUGHT
I WAS TAKING KYLE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO KYLE IS!
THERE IS NO REASON TO DESPAIR.
NOW THAT WE'RE ALL STAYING HOME,
WE CAN PLAY BRIDGE!
JUST THINK HOW
MUCH FUN WE'LL HAVE.
FOUR BRIGHT, FUNNY GIRLS
SPENDING THE EVENING
TALKING AND LAUGHING,
SHARING INTIMATE SECRETS.
I DON'T WANT TO LAUGH.
I'M NOT SHARING SECRETS.
AND I'M NOT PLAYING BRIDGE.
SEE?
WE'RE LOVING IT ALREADY.
GIVE ME SIX.
YOU CAN'T HAVE SIX.
THIS IS FIVE CARD DRAW!
NOTHING MATCHES.
LET'S START OVER.
OH. TOOTIE! OHHH.
I'VE OWED MYSELF THIS
FACIAL FOR A MONTH.
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A MASK
TO FLUSH OUT YOUR PORES.
JUST DON'T FLAKE
INTO THE PRETZELS.
YOU'RE TAKING YOUR FIRST
DATELESS SATURDAY NIGHT
VERY WELL, BLAIR.
IT'S NOT SATURDAY NIGHT.
IT'S THURSDAY NIGHT.
WHAT?
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
SHE CAN HANDLE THIS.
ALL RIGHT, BLAIR.
DEALER'S CHOICE.
WE'LL KEEP THIS SIMPLE.
THREES, SEVENS,
AND TWO-EYED JACKS ARE WILD.
WE MIGHT AS WELL PLAY BRIDGE.
TOOTIE, HOW COULD YOU
ASK ALL THOSE GUYS OUT?
YOU DO THAT SORT OF THING
WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG AND STUPID.
I THOUGHT IT TOOK GUTS.
WELL?
WHOOO! WOW!
YOU LOOK NICE!
PROFESSOR CLAYTON AND
I ARE GOING TO THE DANCE.
HE'S CHAPERONING THE DANCE?
HE'S NOT.
HE'S CHAPERONING MOI.
OH. OH. OH.
GOOD NIGHT. HAVE FUN.
OH, BEN!
AHHH! A MAN!
I COMPLETELY FORGOT
YOU WERE COMING BY.
I CAME FOR THOSE RECORDS.
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
AND THE TABLECLOTHS.
I ASKED BEN TO GET
THEM FOR THE DANCE.
COULDN'T YOU HAVE SHARED
THAT WITH US, MRS. GARRETT?
I'M SORRY. HA HA HA HA.
I JUST FORGOT.
IS THERE SOMEONE UNDER THERE?
HI.
I'M BONNIE WARNER...
BLAIR'S SISTER.
OH. NICE TO MEET YOU.
OH, CUT THE BULL, BLAIR.
HI, BEN.
HI, NATALIE.
HOW YA DOING, BEN?
OH, UH... GIRLS.
GIVE ME A HAND IN THE KITCHEN.
UH, NATALIE.
WHY DON'T YOU HELP
BEN WITH THE RECORDS?
THE RECORDS ARE
IN THE CABINET...
IN THE LOUNGE.
NO RUSH.
I'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME.
THAT'S ALL ANY
OF US HAS... TIME.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO THE DANCE?
NO.
REALLY?
ME, EITHER.
AREN'T YOU GOING WITH EUNICE?
EUNICE ISN'T THE ONE
I WANTED TO GO WITH.
SHE'S NOT?
THE GIRL I WANTED
NEVER ASKED ME.
OH, REALLY?
WE WOULD HAVE HAD A GREAT TIME.
I'M SURE...
WE?
WE, AS IN YOU AND...
BEN, DID YOU ASK ME OUT?
NO.
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
I CAN'T ASK YOU TO THIS DANCE.
YOU HAVE TO ASK ME.
YOU WANT ME TO?
YES!
I WILL!
I ACCEPT!
WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
WE GO.
GREAT! LET'S GO.
I THINK I'D BETTER CHANGE FIRST.
BEN, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
WHY HAVEN'T YOU
ASKED ME OUT BEFORE?
'CAUSE I LIKE YOU.
THAT MAKES SENSE.
WHAT IF YOU SAID NO
OR HAD TO WASH YOUR HAIR?
YOU WERE AFRAID TO ASK ME?
HOW SILLY. I WAS
AFRAID TO ASK YOU.
OH, YOU GOT THE RECORDS.
GOOD.
UH, MRS. GARRETT.
WE'RE GOING TO THE DANCE.
WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC!
NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU SAID A GIRL COULD HAVE FUN
STAYING HOME ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
SHE CAN.
OR SHE CAN HAVE FUN GOING OUT.
WHAT ABOUT SHARING
SECRETS OF THE SOUL?
WE'LL SHARE THEM OVER LUNCH.
WHAT HAPPENED TO PRINCIPLE
AND WOMEN'S RIGHTS?
MALE CHAUVINIST MANIPULATION?
DON'T BE A BORE.
I'M NOT GOING BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
I'M GOING BECAUSE I WANT TO.
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
WHAT'S HAPPENING
IN THE CAFETERIA?
NOTHING.
BOYS.
BATES BOYS.
WHY ARE THEY HERE?
THEY'RE HERE. DON'T QUESTION IT.
MRS. GARRETT IS MEETING
WITH SOME DANCE COMMITTEE.
NATALIE'S GOT A CRUSH ON ONE.
I DON'T!
I JUST THINK HE'S SMART...
AND NICE AND FUNNY
AND INTERESTING...
SORRY.
MY MISTAKE.
WELL, THE MEETING'S ADJOURNED.
I WISH THEY'D MOVE THAT
FAST AT CLEAN-UP TIMES.
IF THE BALLOONS GIVE
YOU TROUBLE, TELL ME.
WE'VE GOT ENOUGH
HOT AIR OVER AT BATES.
RIGHT.
BEN'S THE ONE.
THE ONE WHAT?
THE ONE NATALIE
DOESN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON.
WE'LL MEET OUTSIDE.
OK.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
WE'LL GET TOGETHER
AND TALK ABOUT FOOD.
MY FAVORITE SUBJECT.
THIS DANCE WILL BE
THE BEST ONE YET!
WHAT TORTURE HAS THE
COMMITTEE COME UP WITH?
OH, YOU'LL LOVE IT.
IT'S FORMAL.
LONG GOWNS, WHITE
GLOVES, TIARAS...
THAT'S JUST THE GUYS.
ACTUALLY, BEN THOUGHT
OF THIS FABULOUS IDEA.
SATURDAY NIGHT, EASTLAND
AND BATES ARE HOLDING
A SADIE HAWKINS DAY DANCE.
IS SADIE ANOTHER
EASTLAND GRADUATE?
SHE'S A CHARACTER
IN THE LI'L ABNER
COMIC STRIP, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
ANYWAY, THEY NAMED THE DANCE
AFTER OLD SADIE.
OH, LIKE THE TWIST?
WELL, IT HAS A TWIST TO IT.
THE GIRL INVITES THE BOY.
I'M NOT GOING WITH ANY
GUY WEARING A TIARA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THE GIRL ASKS THE GUY?
YES.
IT SOUNDS DEGRADING.
OBVIOUSLY THIS SADIE
PERSON COULDN'T GET A DATE.
SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
I GUESS.
SO... THIS WAS YOUR
BRAINSTORM, HUH?
YEAH. I'VE GOT TO BE GOING.
ABOUT THE FOOD, I GOT
TWO WORDS... CLAM DIP.
GOT IT!
BYE.
TIME TO SET UP!
GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.
I'VE NEVER ASKED A GUY OUT.
IMAGINE CALLING
SOMEBODY UP AND SAYING,
"WANT TO BOOGIE?"
IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING
TO WATCH A GIRL ASK A GUY OUT.
SO DON'T WATCH.
NAT, THIS IS YOUR
CHANCE TO ASK BEN.
BEN? BEN WHO?
BEN... SMART, NICE,
FUNNY, ET CETERA.
WHY WOULD I ASK HIM?
HE DOESN'T LOOK AT ME.
NATALIE, I THINK HE LIKES YOU.
HE DOESN'T KNOW I'M ALIVE.
I'VE SEEN HIM TALK
TO YOU ON CAMPUS.
HE SPOKE AT A PEP RALLY.
I WAS IN THE CROWD.
IT'S TIME TO BREAK THE ICE.
THIS IS JUST ANOTHER FORM
OF MALE CHAUVINIST MANIPULATION.
SILLY ME.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN.
WHY ARE YOU DOWN ON THIS?
THIS DANCE WAS A GUY'S IDEA.
I WON'T ASK A GUY OUT
WHEN HE SAYS IT'S OK.
I WANT TO GO.
NO, YOU DON'T!
YES, I DO.
WELL, NOBODY
ELSE IS GOING TO GO.
YOU'RE NOT GOING, ARE YOU?
OF COURSE NOT.
ASKING A BOY OUT
IS AGAINST NATURE.
IT'S THE MAN'S PLACE TO ASK.
THE WOMAN TRICKS HIM INTO IT.
ARE YOU GOING?
NO WAY!
WHERE AM I NOT GOING?
TO THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.
NO GIRL IN HER RIGHT
MIND WOULD ASK
ONE OF THOSE MINDLESS,
SPINELESS, TWERP FACES.
YOU SEE? I REST MY CASE.
HERE WE HAVE THREE YOUNG WOMEN
WHO ARE TAKING A
STAND HERE ON PRINCIPLE.
ARE YOU WITH US OR AGAINST US?
YOU MAKE IT SEEM LIKE
THE FATE OF THE
WORLD RESTS ON THIS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M GOING.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF.
A GIRL STAYS HOME,
SHE'S A WALLFLOWER.
A GUY STAYS HOME,
HE'S INDEPENDENT.
NATALIE... WE HAVE TO
SHATTER THAT IMAGE.
BUT, NAT, I WANT TO GO.
YOU WANT TO GO?
ARE YOU SAYING YOU'LL SACRIFICE
EVERYTHING WOMEN
HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR?
YOU'LL UNDERMINE
THE INDEPENDENCE
THAT WE, GLORIA,
AND HELEN GURLEY
WORKED SO HARD TO ACHIEVE?
YOU'LL DO ALL THAT
OVER A CRUMMY DANCE?
YEAH.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
I WON'T SEE THAT MOVIE
WITH ANYBODY ELSE.
SEE YOU SUNDAY AT 6:00.
BYE, GUY.
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO WON?
UH-HUH.
WELL, YOU LOST.
THAT'S NICE.
ACTUALLY, I CREAMED YOU.
UH-HUH.
YOU TAKE THE JOY OUT OF WINNING.
DON'T YOU WANT TO
KNOW THE SCORE?
I'M KEEPING MY
SCORE, MRS. GARRETT.
THIS SADIE HAWKINS THING
OPENED UP A NEW WORLD.
I CAN ASK A GUY OUT ANY TIME.
ABSOLUTELY. IT WAS
DECLARED LEGAL YEARS AGO.
IN THE LIBRARY, I CAN
ASK A GUY TO THE MOVIES.
AT THE SUPERMARKET,
I CAN ASK A GUY OUT FOR PIZZA.
ON A STREET CORNER,
IF A GUY WALKS BY...
NO, TOOTIE, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
OH, NO!
I'VE INVITED KEVIN AND
RON TO THE SAME MOVIE.
I'LL SEE IT TWICE.
EVEN WARREN BEATTY TAKES A BREAK
ONCE IN A WHILE.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH SHE'S
GOING TO THE DANCE,
BUT SHE'S GONE CRAZY.
ARE YOU BOOKED UP
THROUGH CHRISTMAS?
NEW YEAR'S.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU'RE BOYCOTTING THE DANCE.
IT'S LIKE COMING
OUT AGAINST E.T.
HE'S THE ONLY GUY
SHE DIDN'T INVITE.
TELL NATALIE SHE'S BEING
STUBBORN AND UNREASONABLE.
EXPLAIN TO TOOTIE ABOUT
STANDING ON YOUR PRINCIPLES.
YOU STAND ON YOUR PRINCIPLES.
I'LL STAND ON MY HEAD.
AND MEDITATE.
YOU THINK YOU'LL HAVE
A GREAT TIME AT THAT DANCE?
YEAH.
WELL, YOU'RE WRONG.
THE REAL FUN WILL BE RIGHT HERE.
BLAIR, JO, AND I WILL STAY HOME,
GET COMFY, AND
EAT LIKE ANIMALS...
WITHOUT ANY GUYS WATCHING.
I'D RATHER EAT LIKE A BIRD
WITH GUYS WATCHING.
IF YOU'RE AFRAID TO CALL BEN,
I'LL CALL HIM FOR YOU.
BEN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!
I'M GLAD I WENT TO THE LIBRARY.
I GOT SOME IMPORTANT
INFORMATION THERE.
LIKE WHAT?
I MUST INVITE A BOY
FOR SATURDAY NIGHT.
TO THE DANCE? WHY?
NATALIE, MY IMAGE IS AT STAKE.
AS IT TURNS OUT,
EVERYBODY'S GOING TO THAT DANCE.
IF I DON'T GO, IT
WOULD LOOK LIKE...
WELL, LIKE... YOU
COULDN'T GET A DATE?
IT EVEN SOUNDS
RIDICULOUS, DOESN'T IT?
IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.
IT WILL GIVE SOME DESERVING
YOUNG FELLOW A THRILL
TO BE ASKED BY ME.
EVERYONE WILL FIND
OUT YOU'RE ASKING A BOY.
I KNOW.
THE WORD WILL
SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE...
"BLAIR WARNER'S ON THE PROWL."
THEN IT STARTS.
A WINK HERE... A SMILE THERE...
ONE BY ONE, THEY'RE DRAWN TO ME
LIKE MOTHS TO A FLAME.
BLOW OUT YOUR CANDLE, BLAIR.
YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE
WHAT HAPPENED.
AT THE ARCADE,
THIS GUY MITCH AND I HIT IT OFF.
HE ASKED YOU OUT?
I ASKED HIM OUT.
HE GOES TO BATES.
WE'RE GOING TO THE DANCE.
YOU MET A BATES
BOY AT THE ARCADE?
YES.
IT'S PART OF THE
OVERALL MORAL DECLINE.
I THINK I HEARD SOME
STRANGE WORDS
MIXED UP IN THE SAME SENTENCE.
LIKE, "JO," "DANCE,"
AND "GOING TO THE."
I'M TAKING MITCH TO THE DANCE.
YOU CAN'T MEAN THAT.
WHY?
YOU SAID BATES BOYS
WERE MINDLESS,
SPINELESS, TWERP FACES.
I WAS WRONG.
JO.
ON BEHALF OF EASTLAND
WOMEN EVERYWHERE,
DON'T GO!
NAT, I WANT TO GO.
IT'S NO BIG THING.
YOU'LL SET US BACK 10 SEMESTERS.
DOESN'T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND
THE WORD "COMMITMENT"?
OBVIOUSLY NOT, BUT THAT'S OK.
I'LL STAND HERE ALONE
WITH MY PRINCIPLES.
GO! GO!
BUT WHEN THEY REFUSE
YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
TO MS. MAGAZINE, DON'T
COME RUNNING TO ME!
TIMES LIKE THESE
SHOW WHO STANDS FIRM FOR CAUSES
AND WHO SELLS OUT AND
GOES TO A STUPID DANCE!
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
ABOUT THE DANCE
IF YOU ASK SOMEONE TO GO.
IT'S PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE.
THAT'S WHAT THOSE BRISTOL
CREAM COMMERCIALS ARE ABOUT.
DON'T TRY TO CONFUSE ME.
HI. ANYBODY CALL?
THE PHONE COMPANY.
THEY THANKED YOU
FOR REACHING OUT
AND TOUCHING EVERYONE.
DON'T BE SUCH A GROUCH.
JUST CALL BEN.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
EVEN IF I DID,
SOMEONE'S PROBABLY
ALREADY ASKED HIM.
MAYBE NOT YET.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU KNOW I'M NOT A BUTTINSKY.
BUT?
AND I CERTAINLY NEVER LISTEN IN
TO OTHER PEOPLE'S CONVERSATIONS.
BUT?
OH, NEVER MIND.
WHAT? WHAT?
AT THE DANCE COMMITTEE
MEETING THIS MORNING,
I GOT THE IMPRESSION
THAT EUNICE WAS GEARING
UP TO ASK BEN TO THE DANCE.
NAT, QUICK!
EUNICE IS CIRCLING!
CALL BEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE.
PICK UP THE PHONE AND ASK!
"PICK UP THE PHONE!"
THAT'S YOUR ANSWER
FOR EVERYTHING.
HOW WILL YOU KNOW
WITHOUT ASKING?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
BESIDES, I CAN HEAR
THE CONVERSATION NOW.
"HI, BEN. IT'S NATALIE."
"NATALIE WHO?"
NATALIE, I'LL BET
THAT WON'T HAPPEN.
I SAW HOW HE LOOKED AT YOU.
HE LOOKED AT MY LOAFERS!
EXACTLY. LISTEN.
WHEN I WAS IN THE SEVENTH GRADE,
THERE WAS THIS GUY
ALL THE GIRLS SAID
WAS CRAZY ABOUT ME.
BUT WHEN WE PASSED IN THE HALL,
HE'D HIT MY HEAD
WITH HIS BOOK BAG.
HARD!
BUT THEY KEPT SAYING,
"HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU."
AND THEY WERE RIGHT.
TWO YEARS LATER, HE
STOPPED HITTING ME...
AND ASKED ME TO GO STEADY.
THAT'S A LOVELY STORY.
BUT BEN DOESN'T EVEN ELBOW ME
WHEN HE WALKS BY.
IT'S FOR YOU.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE IT'S RINGING.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, NAT?
WHEN TOOTIE'S FINISHED,
WHY NOT GIVE BEN A CALL?
WHAT IF HE SAYS NO
OR LAUGHS AT ME?
IT'S AWFUL LEAVING YOURSELF OPEN
TO THAT KIND OF REJECTION.
IT'S TOUGH, BUT GUYS
ALWAYS HAVE TO DO IT.
I'D RATHER STAY HOME SATURDAY
WITH THE JACK OF CLUBS.
I'M NOT GOING TO THE DANCE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
MITCH CAN'T MAKE IT.
HE HAS TO GO OUT OF TOWN.
OH, JO... YOU MUST FEEL AWFUL.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
I'LL STAY HOME AND
BEAT YOU AT GIN.
I'M REALLY NOT CRAZY
ABOUT THIS BOWL.
MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY
AND SOMEONE WILL DROP IT.
MICHAEL WON'T GO WITH ME
BECAUSE I'M DATING HIS ROOMMATE.
GUYS CAN BE SO TOUCHY!
WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?
GO BACK TO YOUR BULLPEN.
IT'S PACKED.
RIGHT! I'LL CALL SOMEBODY ELSE.
I DON'T BELIEVE HER!
I WISH I COULD DO THAT.
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!
WHAT?
I HAD GUYS LINED UP
LIKE DUCKS IN A
SHOOTING GALLERY,
AND I FINALLY PICKED DONALD.
SO WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
HE SAID I WAITED TOO LONG,
AND HE ACCEPTED
ANOTHER INVITATION.
SO ASK SOMEBODY ELSE.
I DID.
I ASKED THEM ALL.
SO... YOU'LL STAY
HOME WITH JO AND ME
AND PLAY HEARTS.
IT'S NO BIGGIE.
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT?
I'LL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN.
NOBODY CAN GO TO
THE DANCE WITH ME!
RONNY HEARD I WAS TAKING MICHAEL
AND BRAD THOUGHT
I WAS TAKING KYLE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO KYLE IS!
THERE IS NO REASON TO DESPAIR.
NOW THAT WE'RE ALL STAYING HOME,
WE CAN PLAY BRIDGE!
JUST THINK HOW
MUCH FUN WE'LL HAVE.
FOUR BRIGHT, FUNNY GIRLS
SPENDING THE EVENING
TALKING AND LAUGHING,
SHARING INTIMATE SECRETS.
I DON'T WANT TO LAUGH.
I'M NOT SHARING SECRETS.
AND I'M NOT PLAYING BRIDGE.
SEE?
WE'RE LOVING IT ALREADY.
GIVE ME SIX.
YOU CAN'T HAVE SIX.
THIS IS FIVE CARD DRAW!
NOTHING MATCHES.
LET'S START OVER.
OH. TOOTIE! OHHH.
I'VE OWED MYSELF THIS
FACIAL FOR A MONTH.
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A MASK
TO FLUSH OUT YOUR PORES.
JUST DON'T FLAKE
INTO THE PRETZELS.
YOU'RE TAKING YOUR FIRST
DATELESS SATURDAY NIGHT
VERY WELL, BLAIR.
IT'S NOT SATURDAY NIGHT.
IT'S THURSDAY NIGHT.
WHAT?
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
SHE CAN HANDLE THIS.
ALL RIGHT, BLAIR.
DEALER'S CHOICE.
WE'LL KEEP THIS SIMPLE.
THREES, SEVENS,
AND TWO-EYED JACKS ARE WILD.
WE MIGHT AS WELL PLAY BRIDGE.
TOOTIE, HOW COULD YOU
ASK ALL THOSE GUYS OUT?
YOU DO THAT SORT OF THING
WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG AND STUPID.
I THOUGHT IT TOOK GUTS.
WELL?
WHOOO! WOW!
YOU LOOK NICE!
PROFESSOR CLAYTON AND
I ARE GOING TO THE DANCE.
HE'S CHAPERONING THE DANCE?
HE'S NOT.
HE'S CHAPERONING MOI.
OH. OH. OH.
GOOD NIGHT. HAVE FUN.
OH, BEN!
AHHH! A MAN!
I COMPLETELY FORGOT
YOU WERE COMING BY.
I CAME FOR THOSE RECORDS.
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
AND THE TABLECLOTHS.
I ASKED BEN TO GET
THEM FOR THE DANCE.
COULDN'T YOU HAVE SHARED
THAT WITH US, MRS. GARRETT?
I'M SORRY. HA HA HA HA.
I JUST FORGOT.
IS THERE SOMEONE UNDER THERE?
HI.
I'M BONNIE WARNER...
BLAIR'S SISTER.
OH. NICE TO MEET YOU.
OH, CUT THE BULL, BLAIR.
HI, BEN.
HI, NATALIE.
HOW YA DOING, BEN?
OH, UH... GIRLS.
GIVE ME A HAND IN THE KITCHEN.
UH, NATALIE.
WHY DON'T YOU HELP
BEN WITH THE RECORDS?
THE RECORDS ARE
IN THE CABINET...
IN THE LOUNGE.
NO RUSH.
I'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME.
THAT'S ALL ANY
OF US HAS... TIME.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO THE DANCE?
NO.
REALLY?
ME, EITHER.
AREN'T YOU GOING WITH EUNICE?
EUNICE ISN'T THE ONE
I WANTED TO GO WITH.
SHE'S NOT?
THE GIRL I WANTED
NEVER ASKED ME.
OH, REALLY?
WE WOULD HAVE HAD A GREAT TIME.
I'M SURE...
WE?
WE, AS IN YOU AND...
BEN, DID YOU ASK ME OUT?
NO.
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
I CAN'T ASK YOU TO THIS DANCE.
YOU HAVE TO ASK ME.
YOU WANT ME TO?
YES!
I WILL!
I ACCEPT!
WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
WE GO.
GREAT! LET'S GO.
I THINK I'D BETTER CHANGE FIRST.
BEN, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
WHY HAVEN'T YOU
ASKED ME OUT BEFORE?
'CAUSE I LIKE YOU.
THAT MAKES SENSE.
WHAT IF YOU SAID NO
OR HAD TO WASH YOUR HAIR?
YOU WERE AFRAID TO ASK ME?
HOW SILLY. I WAS
AFRAID TO ASK YOU.
OH, YOU GOT THE RECORDS.
GOOD.
UH, MRS. GARRETT.
WE'RE GOING TO THE DANCE.
WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC!
NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU SAID A GIRL COULD HAVE FUN
STAYING HOME ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
SHE CAN.
OR SHE CAN HAVE FUN GOING OUT.
WHAT ABOUT SHARING
SECRETS OF THE SOUL?
WE'LL SHARE THEM OVER LUNCH.
WHAT HAPPENED TO PRINCIPLE
AND WOMEN'S RIGHTS?
MALE CHAUVINIST MANIPULATION?
DON'T BE A BORE.
I'M NOT GOING BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
I'M GOING BECAUSE I WANT TO.