The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 4, Episode 21 - Help from Home - full transcript
Both Blair and Jo are accepted to the prestigious Langley College, however Jo decides she's not going because of the cost and the financial burden it would put on her mother, who is already working multiple jobs just to put Jo through Eastland. Her mother and father, however, are adamant about her attending. Their assertion is that they will somehow come up with the money because Jo's future is their most valuable asset.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
WHAT'S GOING ON?
THE SENIORS STARTED GETTING
ACCEPTANCE AND REJECTION
LETTERS FROM COLLEGE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
EMILY...
I'M DOING A VERY
SENSITIVE INTERVIEW PIECE.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE REJECTED
BY THE COLLEGE OF YOUR CHOICE?
WAAAA!
DON'T FEEL BAD.
I HEAR THE UNIVERSITY OF
ANCHORAGE IS A FUN SCHOOL.
HOW'S IT GOING, NAT?
MOST OF THE ENVELOPES
HAVE BEEN FAT.
FAT?
IF THE ENVELOPE'S FAT,
IT'S AN ACCEPTANCE...
LOADED WITH REGISTRATION
FORMS AND DORM CARDS.
A SKINNY ENVELOPE
MEANS REJECTION.
FOR ONCE, THIN IS NOT IN.
BUT HOW CAN A PRINCESS
RELATE TO REJECTION?
EASY. DADDY GOT
A THIN LETTER ONCE.
"DEAR PRINCE FEDERICO,
"WE DON'T WANT YOU
RULING US ANYMORE.
SIGNED, ITALY."
A WHOLE COUNTRY DUMPED YOU?
THAT'S REJECTION.
DID YOU GET
SOMETHING IN THE MAIL?
YES.
AND IT WASN'T A FAT ENVELOPE?
NO.
OH... BLAIR...
IT WAS THREE FAT ENVELOPES!
WELLESLEY, SMITH, AND LANGLEY.
READ 'EM AND WEEP!
CONGRATULATIONS!
I KNEW YOU'D DO WELL!
ME, TOO.
WHICH ONE WILL YOU CHOOSE?
NO CONTEST. LANGLEY.
IT HAS TERRIBLY HIGH STANDARDS,
A BRILLIANT FACULTY,
AND THE CLINCHER WAS...
DINA BECKER TRIED
LIKE CRAZY TO GET IN,
AND THEY WOULDN'T HAVE HER!
BLAIR!
I'M GOING HOME, MRS. G.
GUESS WHAT. I GOT INTO LANGLEY!
CONGRATULATIONS!
I'LL HAVE TO STOP
CALLING YOU "AIR-BRAIN."
JO, ANY MAIL FROM COLLEGES YET?
NO, NOT YET.
NOT ANYTHING?
GIRLS, COME ON.
WHAT IS THIS PRESSURE
YOU'RE PUTTING ON JO?
THERE'S NO SHAME IN
RECEIVING A THIN ENVELOPE.
IT DOESN'T DIMINISH
YOU AS A PERSON.
WELL, IT DOES TO SOME.
BUT NOT TO CLOSE
FRIENDS... LIKE ME.
I BETTER MAKE ROOM FOR
MY NEW COLLEGE WARDROBE!
NEED ANY HELP?
I GOT DIBS ON HER RED CASHMERE!
ISN'T NATURE TERRIFIC?
EVERY SPRING LIKE CLOCKWORK
BLAIR SHEDS HER OLD WARDROBE.
I THOUGHT ONLY SNAKES DID THAT.
JO... I GOT TO GO.
TRAFFIC'S TOUGH ON FRIDAY.
WAIT, YOU'VE GOT
SOMETHING FAT BACK THERE!
AN ENVELOPE.
OH, THIS?
IT'S FROM CYCLE CITY.
IT'S A FLIER FOR THEIR
CLEARANCE SALE.
OH, SURE. CAN I SEE IT?
WHY?
I MIGHT WANT TO BUY A HOG.
THERE'S NO FOOLING YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU KEEP TRYING.
YOU GOT INTO LANGLEY!
WHOOPEE!
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, JO!
THAT'S MARVELOUS!
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S NOT BIG? IT'S HUMUNGOUS!
AND YOU'RE GETTING A
PARTIAL SCHOLARSHIP.
OH, JO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
'CAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO LANGLEY.
YOU'RE NOT GOING?
NOPE.
THEN WHY DID YOU APPLY THERE?
TO SEE IF I COULD GET IN.
I GOT IN.
YOU'RE PLAYING PAC-MAN
WITH MY NERVOUS SYSTEM.
WHY AREN'T YOU GOING?
LANGLEY COSTS
ALMOST 14,000 A YEAR.
THE SCHOLARSHIP
KNOCKS OFF SEVEN.
EVEN WHEN I WORK PART-TIME,
MY MOM WILL STILL
HAVE TO PAY 6,000.
STILL, YOU SHOULD DISCUSS
THIS WITH YOUR MOTHER.
SHE'S SLAVED AWAY AS A
WAITRESS AT TWO PLACES
TO PUT ME THROUGH EASTLAND.
LANGLEY COSTS TWICE AS MUCH!
I KNOW.
YOUR MOTHER WORKS HARD,
BUT SHE FEELS IT'S WORTH IT.
JUST WAIT TILL SHE SEES
THAT LANGLEY ENVELOPE.
WHAT ENVELOPE?
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND, MRS. G.
I'LL KEEP JO OUT HERE.
MOM.
JO!
HOW YOU DOING?
I RECOGNIZED YOUR BUZZ.
HOW? IT WAS JUST A BUZZ.
A MOTHER KNOWS.
LET'S GO IN.
IN A SECOND. LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
YOU LOOK GOOD.
THANKS.
CAN WE GO IN?
UM... WAIT. YOU
GOT A GUY IN THERE?
OF COURSE NOT.
COME RIGHT IN.
LET ME TRY.
THAT BOZO BALDUCCI STILL
HASN'T FIXED THE DOORKNOB!
JO.
MR. BALDUCCI!
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE, JO! THIS IS FOR YOU!
EVERYBODY, TAKE
THE PARTY INSIDE.
THE PARTY'S FOR YOU, JO.
JO!
♪ DA-DA-DA DAT DA-DAT DA-DA ♪
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
DID MRS. GARRETT CALL?
NO. THE SCHOOL SENT
ME FINANCIAL AID FORMS.
OH, JO. I'M SO PROUD OF Y0U!
JO.
JO!
AUNT EVELYN... MY
NIECE, THE GENIUS!
THE FIRST FAMILY
MEMBER TO GO TO COLLEGE!
PROMISE YOU WON'T
FALL IN WITH PEOPLE
LIKE I SAW IN ANIMAL HOUSE.
I PROMISE.
AND YOU'LL GO TO CHURCH.
MRS. MALONEY'S SON JUST
GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.
NOW HE'S AN ATHEIST.
MA, CAN WE TALK?
LET ME GET THE COFFEE ON FIRST.
JO, I DID THE POSTER.
HE'S PROUD OF IT.
HE DRAWS LIKE HE FIXES TOILETS.
JO, I'M GOING TO FIX YOUR
DOORKNOB RIGHT NOW.
I BROUGHT THE SCREWDRIVER
AND EVERYTHING.
ROSE, I'M BORROWING
YOUR BUTTER KNIFE.
JO! MRS. WALDMAN!
I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE SMART!
EVEN WHEN YOU WERE
A BUM WITH THAT GANG.
THANKS, MRS. WALDMAN.
COULD WE TALK ABOUT
THIS LANGLEY THING?
I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU.
LANGLEY'S THE BEST!
BUT YOU KNOW THAT.
I HAVEN'T DECIDED
TO GO TO LANGLEY.
IN FACT, I DECIDED NOT TO GO.
WHAT?
WE'LL TALK IN MY OFFICE.
KEEP WORKING, MR. BALDUCCI.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT
NOT GOING TO LANGLEY?
IT'S ONLY A PARTIAL SCHOLARSHIP.
IT'LL STILL COST
YOU $6,000 A YEAR!
I KNOW. I CAN HANDLE IT.
BY WORKING THREE
JOBS? FORGET IT!
A CUSTOMER GAVE ME A STOCK TIP.
I TOOK $900 0UT OF THE BANK...
STOCK TIP? MA...
YOUR FATHER WORKS
FOR A STOCKBROKER.
HE BOUGHT IT FOR ME.
IT SPLIT, THEN WENT
UP, THEN SPLIT AGAIN.
IT'S NOW WORTH ALMOST $5,000!
YOU'RE KIDDING!
LANGLEY, HERE SHE COMES!
OH, BABY!
THERE'S MY COLLEGE GIRL! JO!
POP, YOU LOOK GREAT!
HOW ARE YOU?
AND YOU'RE GORGEOUS!
HI, ROSIE. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.
HI, CHARLIE.
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
COME ON IN.
BALDUCCI!
YEAH?
HEY, CHARLIE!
HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S CHARLIE!
CHARLIE, DOES YOUR PAROLE
OFFICER KNOW YOU'RE HERE?
WE HAVEN'T BEEN
IN-LAWS IN FIVE YEARS.
WHY WASTE YOUR POISON?
SHOULD I MAKE MORE PASTRIES
IN CASE THE POLICE
SURROUND THE PLACE?
STOP IT.
ALL RIGHT.
HAVE ONE OF MY ECLAIRS.
THAT ONE.
NO, THANKS.
I'LL TAKE IT.
DON'T TOUCH THAT.
EVELYN, YOU COULD
MAKE A GUY HOMESICK
FOR HIS CELL BLOCK.
I'VE GOT TO RUN, EVERYBODY.
THE FIGHTS ARE ON CABLE.
MY BOSS NEEDS HIS BEST WAITRESS.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
NO PROBLEM, MA.
NOW, DON'T WAIT UP.
GET YOUR FATHER TO TELL
YOU ALL ABOUT THAT STOCK.
EVERYONE, ENJOY YOURSELVES!
GOT TO RUN!
DON'T WORK TOO HARD, ROSE.
BYE, ROSE.
JO.
JO, I KNOW YOU THINK
I'M A WORRYWART.
NO, I DON'T.
GOOD, BECAUSE I'M WORRIED.
HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW
TIRED YOUR MOTHER LOOKS?
SHE LOOKS GREAT.
ONLY BECAUSE SHE'S HAPPY.
SHE WORKS 13 HOURS A DAY
AND FOUR HOURS ON HER DAY OFF.
SHE'S LIKE A SALMON
FIGHTING HER WAY UPSTREAM.
I DON'T WANT TO FIND
HER FLOATING ON HER SIDE.
TIME TO SERVE THE ICE CREAM.
JO?
JO?
YOUR DOORKNOB'S ALL FIXED.
I'LL FIX YOUR
BUTTER KNIFE LATER.
TELL ME ABOUT MA'S
STOCK YOU PICKED UP.
OH, YEAH. I DIDN'T BUY THAT.
WHAT?
SHE COMES TO ME WITH
SOME COCKAMAMIE TIP
ABOUT SOME LONG SHOT
CALLED "TOMATOES R US."
I THOUGHT, "IT'S NOT
EVEN GOOD ENGLISH."
BUT YOU'RE NO EXPERT.
RIGHT. I SAID, "CHARLIE,
YOU'RE NO EXPERT."
A BROKER SAID, "YOU DON'T
BUILD AN INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO
ON LONG SHOTS."
I PUT IT IN A MONEY MARKET FUND.
TODAY, THAT $900 IS WORTH $990.
INSTEAD OF 5,000.
5,000?
BLOW YOUR STACK. GO AHEAD.
MY STACK'S FINE.
IT WON'T BRING THE
MONEY BACK TO BLOW IT.
WE'LL GO TO PLAN
"B"... BEING BROKE.
I'LL FIND SOME WAY FOR
YOU TO GO TO LANGLEY.
FORGET IT, MOM.
WOULD YOU BE REALISTIC?
I CAN'T GO NOW.
EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.
THINGS WILL BE GREAT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M BLOWING MY STACK!
YOU'RE GOING TO LANGLEY COLLEGE!
NO! I'M GETTING A JOB.
I'LL BE HOME.
WE'LL LIVE TOGETHER
LIKE ROOMMATES.
I DON'T NEED A ROOMMATE.
I'M WORKING FOR MY
DAUGHTER'S FUTURE.
YEAH. 13 HOURS A DAY,
FOUR HOURS ON YOUR DAY OFF.
YOU'RE LIKE... A SALMON
FIGHTING YOUR WAY UPSTREAM.
I'LL GET EVELYN FOR THIS.
YOU'RE GOING TO LANGLEY!
I'LL GET THE MONEY.
LIKE THE U.S. CAVALRY,
IT'LL COME IN THE NICK OF TIME.
TELL THAT TO GENERAL CUSTER.
I'M NOT GOING TO
LANGLEY, AND THAT'S THAT!
CASE CLOSED.
GOOD MORNING, MA.
CAN I HELP YOU?
NO, THANK YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M READING THE PAPER.
YOU'RE READING THE WANT ADS.
THERE'S AN OPENING
FOR AVON LADIES!
I'D BE PERFECT FOR THAT.
WHO IS IT?
IT'S ME, YOUR FATHER.
I CAN'T OPEN IT.
BALDUCCI FIXED IT.
WORKS FINE FROM THE OUTSIDE.
I WANT TO TALK.
YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME
ABOUT YOUR CRAZY IDEA.
IT'S NOT CRAZY.
IT MAKES SENSE.
SHE'S NOT THROWING
AWAY ANOTHER FOUR YEARS
FOR MY DUMB DIPLOMA!
IT'S MY LIFE.
THAT'S RIGHT. LET
HER THROW IT AWAY.
JO, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
YOU CAN MESS WITH HER,
BUT YOU'RE NOT STEAMROLLING ME.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
LOOK, I'LL TAKE
CARE OF EVERYTHING.
LIKE YOU TOOK CARE
OF GETTING MY STOCK?
I WAS BEING PRACTICAL.
YOU JUST CROSS YOUR FINGERS.
DON'T START THIS, HUH?
I'LL GET THE MONEY SOMEHOW.
LAST TIME YOU SAID
THAT, YOU WENT TO PRISON!
I WAS WAITING FOR THAT!
SORRY YOU WAITED!
I'D RATHER CROSS MY FINGERS
THAN STEAL A WAREHOUSE
OF TYPEWRITERS!
I DIDN'T STEAL TYPEWRITERS!
I LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED.
I'LL GET MONEY.
BE REALISTIC.
EVERYBODY SAYS THAT!
YOU'RE A DREAMER!
WILL YOU STOP?
I THOUGHT I WAS THROUGH
HEARING YOU GO AT IT.
I'VE GOT SOMEPLACE ELSE TO GO.
JO, WAIT!
JO! JO!
BALDUCCI!
BLAIR GAVE ME A
NICE HAND-ME-DOWN.
I NEED A COWBOY TO GO WITH IT.
HI, JO.
I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T
RETURNING TILL TOMORROW.
PLANS CHANGE. WHERE'S MRS. G.?
SHE AND BLAIR WENT
TO LANGLEY COLLEGE.
THAT'S NICE.
IT'S A GREAT SCHOOL!
SOMEBODY WOULD BE NUTS
TO TURN DOWN A CHANCE TO GO.
ESPECIALLY IF SHE WERE
OFFERED A SCHOLARSHIP.
I KNEW IT.
MRS. G. SQUEALED.
NOBODY HAS TO SQUEAL
WHEN NATALIE GREEN
IS ON THE SCENE.
I FOUND YOUR RIPPED-UP ENVELOPE.
I CALL IT SUPERIOR
INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING.
I CALL IT LOOKING
THROUGH GARBAGE.
ONE MUST DO WHAT ONE MUST DO.
WHY DID YOU TURN
DOWN THAT SCHOLARSHIP?
NOBODY'S EVER DONE THAT.
IT'S A BIGGER STORY
THAN "MAN BITES DOG."
IS IT BIGGER THAN "REPORTER
SWALLOWS MICROPHONE?"
HI, JO.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
GIRLS, LONG TIME, NO SEE.
HI.
THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.
WE'LL BE GOING.
WE'VE GOT A MILLION
THINGS TO DO.
WE'VE NEVER MET.
LATER, ALEX.
YOU WON'T CHANGE MY MIND.
AND I DON'T WANT TO
HEAR MORE SCREAMING.
WE BOTH DISCUSSED THIS
CALMLY AND RATIONALLY...
AFTER BALDUCCI LET US OUT.
WE'LL DISCUSS THIS AS A FAMILY.
SINCE WHEN ARE WE A FAMILY?
WE'RE A FATHER, A MOTHER,
AND A KID WITH A MOUTH.
PLEASE, JO, LET'S TALK.
FIRST, WE'LL POOL OUR RESOURCES.
YOUR MOTHER AND I HAD
A TALK ABOUT HER ASSETS.
A SHORT TALK.
I DON'T HAVE ANY.
I JUST GOT A RAISE.
NO KIDDING.
I'M UP TO 195 A WEEK.
HE'S PAID MORE THAN
THE OTHER RUNNERS.
IT'S NICE TO RUN WITHOUT
SOMEBODY CHASING YOU.
OUR BIGGEST ASSET
IS YOUR EDUCATION.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS WE'LL
FOLLOW THROUGH ON THIS.
STOP TALKING LIKE WE'RE ANALYZING
THE CHRYSLER CORPORATION.
THE GOVERNMENT ISN'T
GOING TO PULL US OUT.
WE'VE HAD OUR FAMILY TALK.
CONCLUSION... I'M NOT
GOING TO COLLEGE.
WE CAN'T AFFORD IT.
WE COULDN'T AFFORD
EASTLAND EITHER,
AND YOU'RE GRADUATING.
YOU'RE LIKE YOUR FATHER.
YOU'RE A BOTTOM LINE PERSON.
WE'RE THE PARENTS,
YOU'RE THE KID.
YOU'RE GOING TO
COLLEGE, WE'RE PAYING.
LOOK, YOU KNOW I
APPRECIATE THIS...
WHERE DO YOU GET THE IDEA
WE'RE DOING IT JUST FOR YOU?
WHEN YOU GRADUATE FROM EASTLAND
AS VALEDICTORIAN OF YOUR CLASS,
WE'LL SIT WITH PARENTS
EARNING 10 TIMES
MORE THAN WE DO.
20.
ISN'T THERE A
PAYOFF THERE FOR US?
YOUR GOING TO COLLEGE
MAKES ALL THREE
OF US BIG WINNERS.
THIS SOUNDS GREAT,
BUT THERE'S A $2,000
DEPOSIT DUE NEXT MONTH.
WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET THAT?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE.
BUT WE'RE GOING TO GET IT.
WE GOT IT.
WHERE?
WE DROVE UP IN IT.
YOUR '66 MUSTANG?
I'LL SELL IT.
YOU LOVE THAT CAR.
YOU'RE THE ORIGINAL OWNER.
NOW I'LL BE THE ORIGINAL SELLER.
YOU HAD THAT UP ON BLOCKS
THE WHOLE TIME YOU WERE IN...
UP THE... YOU KNOW... AWAY.
JO...
I KNEW I WAS SAVING IT
FOR SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
CHARLIE... YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
YOU REALLY ARE.
IT'S ABOUT TIME I STARTED
TO INVEST IN YOUR FUTURE.
THIS COVERS THE DEPOSIT.
WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF
THE YEAR... AND NEXT YEAR?
SHE TAKES AFTER EVELYN.
WE'LL WORRY ABOUT
NEXT YEAR NEXT YEAR.
WE'VE MANAGED SO FAR.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, JO?
THANKS, MA.
POP.
MR. AND MRS. POLNACZEK,
IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU.
HI, MRS. GARRETT.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HAIL THE CONQUERING WARNER.
JO, YOU'RE BACK.
I GUESS I AM.
YOU REMEMBER MY FOLKS.
NICE SEEING YOU.
WELL, I'LL TAKE THIS UPSTAIRS.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, MRS. G.?
JUST SOME STUFF.
I OPENED A CHARGE ACCOUNT
AT THE LANGLEY BOOKSTORE.
LANGLEY? YOU'RE GOING THERE?
IT'S A TERRIFIC SCHOOL.
I HEAR IT'S THE BEST.
THIS IS TRUE.
THEY TAKE ONLY
ONE GIFTED STUDENT
FROM EACH PREP SCHOOL.
THIS YEAR, IT'S MOI.
HAVEN'T THEY EVER TAKEN TWO?
THIS SWEATSHIRT LOOKS
LIKE IT'S JUST MY SIZE.
MIND IF I KEEP IT?
YOU DO HAVE FOUR.
JO, JO, JO.
YOU KNOW I'M
GENEROUS TO A FAULT.
BUT WOULDN'T IT BE
BETTER TO WEAR ONE
FROM YOUR OWN SCHOOL?
DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
LANGLEY IS MY SCHOOL.
SEE YOU AROUND CAMPUS.
THAT'S GREAT!
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
WHAT'S GOING ON?
THE SENIORS STARTED GETTING
ACCEPTANCE AND REJECTION
LETTERS FROM COLLEGE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
EMILY...
I'M DOING A VERY
SENSITIVE INTERVIEW PIECE.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE REJECTED
BY THE COLLEGE OF YOUR CHOICE?
WAAAA!
DON'T FEEL BAD.
I HEAR THE UNIVERSITY OF
ANCHORAGE IS A FUN SCHOOL.
HOW'S IT GOING, NAT?
MOST OF THE ENVELOPES
HAVE BEEN FAT.
FAT?
IF THE ENVELOPE'S FAT,
IT'S AN ACCEPTANCE...
LOADED WITH REGISTRATION
FORMS AND DORM CARDS.
A SKINNY ENVELOPE
MEANS REJECTION.
FOR ONCE, THIN IS NOT IN.
BUT HOW CAN A PRINCESS
RELATE TO REJECTION?
EASY. DADDY GOT
A THIN LETTER ONCE.
"DEAR PRINCE FEDERICO,
"WE DON'T WANT YOU
RULING US ANYMORE.
SIGNED, ITALY."
A WHOLE COUNTRY DUMPED YOU?
THAT'S REJECTION.
DID YOU GET
SOMETHING IN THE MAIL?
YES.
AND IT WASN'T A FAT ENVELOPE?
NO.
OH... BLAIR...
IT WAS THREE FAT ENVELOPES!
WELLESLEY, SMITH, AND LANGLEY.
READ 'EM AND WEEP!
CONGRATULATIONS!
I KNEW YOU'D DO WELL!
ME, TOO.
WHICH ONE WILL YOU CHOOSE?
NO CONTEST. LANGLEY.
IT HAS TERRIBLY HIGH STANDARDS,
A BRILLIANT FACULTY,
AND THE CLINCHER WAS...
DINA BECKER TRIED
LIKE CRAZY TO GET IN,
AND THEY WOULDN'T HAVE HER!
BLAIR!
I'M GOING HOME, MRS. G.
GUESS WHAT. I GOT INTO LANGLEY!
CONGRATULATIONS!
I'LL HAVE TO STOP
CALLING YOU "AIR-BRAIN."
JO, ANY MAIL FROM COLLEGES YET?
NO, NOT YET.
NOT ANYTHING?
GIRLS, COME ON.
WHAT IS THIS PRESSURE
YOU'RE PUTTING ON JO?
THERE'S NO SHAME IN
RECEIVING A THIN ENVELOPE.
IT DOESN'T DIMINISH
YOU AS A PERSON.
WELL, IT DOES TO SOME.
BUT NOT TO CLOSE
FRIENDS... LIKE ME.
I BETTER MAKE ROOM FOR
MY NEW COLLEGE WARDROBE!
NEED ANY HELP?
I GOT DIBS ON HER RED CASHMERE!
ISN'T NATURE TERRIFIC?
EVERY SPRING LIKE CLOCKWORK
BLAIR SHEDS HER OLD WARDROBE.
I THOUGHT ONLY SNAKES DID THAT.
JO... I GOT TO GO.
TRAFFIC'S TOUGH ON FRIDAY.
WAIT, YOU'VE GOT
SOMETHING FAT BACK THERE!
AN ENVELOPE.
OH, THIS?
IT'S FROM CYCLE CITY.
IT'S A FLIER FOR THEIR
CLEARANCE SALE.
OH, SURE. CAN I SEE IT?
WHY?
I MIGHT WANT TO BUY A HOG.
THERE'S NO FOOLING YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU KEEP TRYING.
YOU GOT INTO LANGLEY!
WHOOPEE!
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, JO!
THAT'S MARVELOUS!
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S NOT BIG? IT'S HUMUNGOUS!
AND YOU'RE GETTING A
PARTIAL SCHOLARSHIP.
OH, JO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
'CAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO LANGLEY.
YOU'RE NOT GOING?
NOPE.
THEN WHY DID YOU APPLY THERE?
TO SEE IF I COULD GET IN.
I GOT IN.
YOU'RE PLAYING PAC-MAN
WITH MY NERVOUS SYSTEM.
WHY AREN'T YOU GOING?
LANGLEY COSTS
ALMOST 14,000 A YEAR.
THE SCHOLARSHIP
KNOCKS OFF SEVEN.
EVEN WHEN I WORK PART-TIME,
MY MOM WILL STILL
HAVE TO PAY 6,000.
STILL, YOU SHOULD DISCUSS
THIS WITH YOUR MOTHER.
SHE'S SLAVED AWAY AS A
WAITRESS AT TWO PLACES
TO PUT ME THROUGH EASTLAND.
LANGLEY COSTS TWICE AS MUCH!
I KNOW.
YOUR MOTHER WORKS HARD,
BUT SHE FEELS IT'S WORTH IT.
JUST WAIT TILL SHE SEES
THAT LANGLEY ENVELOPE.
WHAT ENVELOPE?
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND, MRS. G.
I'LL KEEP JO OUT HERE.
MOM.
JO!
HOW YOU DOING?
I RECOGNIZED YOUR BUZZ.
HOW? IT WAS JUST A BUZZ.
A MOTHER KNOWS.
LET'S GO IN.
IN A SECOND. LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
YOU LOOK GOOD.
THANKS.
CAN WE GO IN?
UM... WAIT. YOU
GOT A GUY IN THERE?
OF COURSE NOT.
COME RIGHT IN.
LET ME TRY.
THAT BOZO BALDUCCI STILL
HASN'T FIXED THE DOORKNOB!
JO.
MR. BALDUCCI!
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE, JO! THIS IS FOR YOU!
EVERYBODY, TAKE
THE PARTY INSIDE.
THE PARTY'S FOR YOU, JO.
JO!
♪ DA-DA-DA DAT DA-DAT DA-DA ♪
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
DID MRS. GARRETT CALL?
NO. THE SCHOOL SENT
ME FINANCIAL AID FORMS.
OH, JO. I'M SO PROUD OF Y0U!
JO.
JO!
AUNT EVELYN... MY
NIECE, THE GENIUS!
THE FIRST FAMILY
MEMBER TO GO TO COLLEGE!
PROMISE YOU WON'T
FALL IN WITH PEOPLE
LIKE I SAW IN ANIMAL HOUSE.
I PROMISE.
AND YOU'LL GO TO CHURCH.
MRS. MALONEY'S SON JUST
GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.
NOW HE'S AN ATHEIST.
MA, CAN WE TALK?
LET ME GET THE COFFEE ON FIRST.
JO, I DID THE POSTER.
HE'S PROUD OF IT.
HE DRAWS LIKE HE FIXES TOILETS.
JO, I'M GOING TO FIX YOUR
DOORKNOB RIGHT NOW.
I BROUGHT THE SCREWDRIVER
AND EVERYTHING.
ROSE, I'M BORROWING
YOUR BUTTER KNIFE.
JO! MRS. WALDMAN!
I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE SMART!
EVEN WHEN YOU WERE
A BUM WITH THAT GANG.
THANKS, MRS. WALDMAN.
COULD WE TALK ABOUT
THIS LANGLEY THING?
I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU.
LANGLEY'S THE BEST!
BUT YOU KNOW THAT.
I HAVEN'T DECIDED
TO GO TO LANGLEY.
IN FACT, I DECIDED NOT TO GO.
WHAT?
WE'LL TALK IN MY OFFICE.
KEEP WORKING, MR. BALDUCCI.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT
NOT GOING TO LANGLEY?
IT'S ONLY A PARTIAL SCHOLARSHIP.
IT'LL STILL COST
YOU $6,000 A YEAR!
I KNOW. I CAN HANDLE IT.
BY WORKING THREE
JOBS? FORGET IT!
A CUSTOMER GAVE ME A STOCK TIP.
I TOOK $900 0UT OF THE BANK...
STOCK TIP? MA...
YOUR FATHER WORKS
FOR A STOCKBROKER.
HE BOUGHT IT FOR ME.
IT SPLIT, THEN WENT
UP, THEN SPLIT AGAIN.
IT'S NOW WORTH ALMOST $5,000!
YOU'RE KIDDING!
LANGLEY, HERE SHE COMES!
OH, BABY!
THERE'S MY COLLEGE GIRL! JO!
POP, YOU LOOK GREAT!
HOW ARE YOU?
AND YOU'RE GORGEOUS!
HI, ROSIE. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.
HI, CHARLIE.
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
COME ON IN.
BALDUCCI!
YEAH?
HEY, CHARLIE!
HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S CHARLIE!
CHARLIE, DOES YOUR PAROLE
OFFICER KNOW YOU'RE HERE?
WE HAVEN'T BEEN
IN-LAWS IN FIVE YEARS.
WHY WASTE YOUR POISON?
SHOULD I MAKE MORE PASTRIES
IN CASE THE POLICE
SURROUND THE PLACE?
STOP IT.
ALL RIGHT.
HAVE ONE OF MY ECLAIRS.
THAT ONE.
NO, THANKS.
I'LL TAKE IT.
DON'T TOUCH THAT.
EVELYN, YOU COULD
MAKE A GUY HOMESICK
FOR HIS CELL BLOCK.
I'VE GOT TO RUN, EVERYBODY.
THE FIGHTS ARE ON CABLE.
MY BOSS NEEDS HIS BEST WAITRESS.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
NO PROBLEM, MA.
NOW, DON'T WAIT UP.
GET YOUR FATHER TO TELL
YOU ALL ABOUT THAT STOCK.
EVERYONE, ENJOY YOURSELVES!
GOT TO RUN!
DON'T WORK TOO HARD, ROSE.
BYE, ROSE.
JO.
JO, I KNOW YOU THINK
I'M A WORRYWART.
NO, I DON'T.
GOOD, BECAUSE I'M WORRIED.
HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW
TIRED YOUR MOTHER LOOKS?
SHE LOOKS GREAT.
ONLY BECAUSE SHE'S HAPPY.
SHE WORKS 13 HOURS A DAY
AND FOUR HOURS ON HER DAY OFF.
SHE'S LIKE A SALMON
FIGHTING HER WAY UPSTREAM.
I DON'T WANT TO FIND
HER FLOATING ON HER SIDE.
TIME TO SERVE THE ICE CREAM.
JO?
JO?
YOUR DOORKNOB'S ALL FIXED.
I'LL FIX YOUR
BUTTER KNIFE LATER.
TELL ME ABOUT MA'S
STOCK YOU PICKED UP.
OH, YEAH. I DIDN'T BUY THAT.
WHAT?
SHE COMES TO ME WITH
SOME COCKAMAMIE TIP
ABOUT SOME LONG SHOT
CALLED "TOMATOES R US."
I THOUGHT, "IT'S NOT
EVEN GOOD ENGLISH."
BUT YOU'RE NO EXPERT.
RIGHT. I SAID, "CHARLIE,
YOU'RE NO EXPERT."
A BROKER SAID, "YOU DON'T
BUILD AN INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO
ON LONG SHOTS."
I PUT IT IN A MONEY MARKET FUND.
TODAY, THAT $900 IS WORTH $990.
INSTEAD OF 5,000.
5,000?
BLOW YOUR STACK. GO AHEAD.
MY STACK'S FINE.
IT WON'T BRING THE
MONEY BACK TO BLOW IT.
WE'LL GO TO PLAN
"B"... BEING BROKE.
I'LL FIND SOME WAY FOR
YOU TO GO TO LANGLEY.
FORGET IT, MOM.
WOULD YOU BE REALISTIC?
I CAN'T GO NOW.
EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.
THINGS WILL BE GREAT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M BLOWING MY STACK!
YOU'RE GOING TO LANGLEY COLLEGE!
NO! I'M GETTING A JOB.
I'LL BE HOME.
WE'LL LIVE TOGETHER
LIKE ROOMMATES.
I DON'T NEED A ROOMMATE.
I'M WORKING FOR MY
DAUGHTER'S FUTURE.
YEAH. 13 HOURS A DAY,
FOUR HOURS ON YOUR DAY OFF.
YOU'RE LIKE... A SALMON
FIGHTING YOUR WAY UPSTREAM.
I'LL GET EVELYN FOR THIS.
YOU'RE GOING TO LANGLEY!
I'LL GET THE MONEY.
LIKE THE U.S. CAVALRY,
IT'LL COME IN THE NICK OF TIME.
TELL THAT TO GENERAL CUSTER.
I'M NOT GOING TO
LANGLEY, AND THAT'S THAT!
CASE CLOSED.
GOOD MORNING, MA.
CAN I HELP YOU?
NO, THANK YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M READING THE PAPER.
YOU'RE READING THE WANT ADS.
THERE'S AN OPENING
FOR AVON LADIES!
I'D BE PERFECT FOR THAT.
WHO IS IT?
IT'S ME, YOUR FATHER.
I CAN'T OPEN IT.
BALDUCCI FIXED IT.
WORKS FINE FROM THE OUTSIDE.
I WANT TO TALK.
YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME
ABOUT YOUR CRAZY IDEA.
IT'S NOT CRAZY.
IT MAKES SENSE.
SHE'S NOT THROWING
AWAY ANOTHER FOUR YEARS
FOR MY DUMB DIPLOMA!
IT'S MY LIFE.
THAT'S RIGHT. LET
HER THROW IT AWAY.
JO, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
YOU CAN MESS WITH HER,
BUT YOU'RE NOT STEAMROLLING ME.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
LOOK, I'LL TAKE
CARE OF EVERYTHING.
LIKE YOU TOOK CARE
OF GETTING MY STOCK?
I WAS BEING PRACTICAL.
YOU JUST CROSS YOUR FINGERS.
DON'T START THIS, HUH?
I'LL GET THE MONEY SOMEHOW.
LAST TIME YOU SAID
THAT, YOU WENT TO PRISON!
I WAS WAITING FOR THAT!
SORRY YOU WAITED!
I'D RATHER CROSS MY FINGERS
THAN STEAL A WAREHOUSE
OF TYPEWRITERS!
I DIDN'T STEAL TYPEWRITERS!
I LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED.
I'LL GET MONEY.
BE REALISTIC.
EVERYBODY SAYS THAT!
YOU'RE A DREAMER!
WILL YOU STOP?
I THOUGHT I WAS THROUGH
HEARING YOU GO AT IT.
I'VE GOT SOMEPLACE ELSE TO GO.
JO, WAIT!
JO! JO!
BALDUCCI!
BLAIR GAVE ME A
NICE HAND-ME-DOWN.
I NEED A COWBOY TO GO WITH IT.
HI, JO.
I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T
RETURNING TILL TOMORROW.
PLANS CHANGE. WHERE'S MRS. G.?
SHE AND BLAIR WENT
TO LANGLEY COLLEGE.
THAT'S NICE.
IT'S A GREAT SCHOOL!
SOMEBODY WOULD BE NUTS
TO TURN DOWN A CHANCE TO GO.
ESPECIALLY IF SHE WERE
OFFERED A SCHOLARSHIP.
I KNEW IT.
MRS. G. SQUEALED.
NOBODY HAS TO SQUEAL
WHEN NATALIE GREEN
IS ON THE SCENE.
I FOUND YOUR RIPPED-UP ENVELOPE.
I CALL IT SUPERIOR
INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING.
I CALL IT LOOKING
THROUGH GARBAGE.
ONE MUST DO WHAT ONE MUST DO.
WHY DID YOU TURN
DOWN THAT SCHOLARSHIP?
NOBODY'S EVER DONE THAT.
IT'S A BIGGER STORY
THAN "MAN BITES DOG."
IS IT BIGGER THAN "REPORTER
SWALLOWS MICROPHONE?"
HI, JO.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
GIRLS, LONG TIME, NO SEE.
HI.
THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.
WE'LL BE GOING.
WE'VE GOT A MILLION
THINGS TO DO.
WE'VE NEVER MET.
LATER, ALEX.
YOU WON'T CHANGE MY MIND.
AND I DON'T WANT TO
HEAR MORE SCREAMING.
WE BOTH DISCUSSED THIS
CALMLY AND RATIONALLY...
AFTER BALDUCCI LET US OUT.
WE'LL DISCUSS THIS AS A FAMILY.
SINCE WHEN ARE WE A FAMILY?
WE'RE A FATHER, A MOTHER,
AND A KID WITH A MOUTH.
PLEASE, JO, LET'S TALK.
FIRST, WE'LL POOL OUR RESOURCES.
YOUR MOTHER AND I HAD
A TALK ABOUT HER ASSETS.
A SHORT TALK.
I DON'T HAVE ANY.
I JUST GOT A RAISE.
NO KIDDING.
I'M UP TO 195 A WEEK.
HE'S PAID MORE THAN
THE OTHER RUNNERS.
IT'S NICE TO RUN WITHOUT
SOMEBODY CHASING YOU.
OUR BIGGEST ASSET
IS YOUR EDUCATION.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS WE'LL
FOLLOW THROUGH ON THIS.
STOP TALKING LIKE WE'RE ANALYZING
THE CHRYSLER CORPORATION.
THE GOVERNMENT ISN'T
GOING TO PULL US OUT.
WE'VE HAD OUR FAMILY TALK.
CONCLUSION... I'M NOT
GOING TO COLLEGE.
WE CAN'T AFFORD IT.
WE COULDN'T AFFORD
EASTLAND EITHER,
AND YOU'RE GRADUATING.
YOU'RE LIKE YOUR FATHER.
YOU'RE A BOTTOM LINE PERSON.
WE'RE THE PARENTS,
YOU'RE THE KID.
YOU'RE GOING TO
COLLEGE, WE'RE PAYING.
LOOK, YOU KNOW I
APPRECIATE THIS...
WHERE DO YOU GET THE IDEA
WE'RE DOING IT JUST FOR YOU?
WHEN YOU GRADUATE FROM EASTLAND
AS VALEDICTORIAN OF YOUR CLASS,
WE'LL SIT WITH PARENTS
EARNING 10 TIMES
MORE THAN WE DO.
20.
ISN'T THERE A
PAYOFF THERE FOR US?
YOUR GOING TO COLLEGE
MAKES ALL THREE
OF US BIG WINNERS.
THIS SOUNDS GREAT,
BUT THERE'S A $2,000
DEPOSIT DUE NEXT MONTH.
WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET THAT?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE.
BUT WE'RE GOING TO GET IT.
WE GOT IT.
WHERE?
WE DROVE UP IN IT.
YOUR '66 MUSTANG?
I'LL SELL IT.
YOU LOVE THAT CAR.
YOU'RE THE ORIGINAL OWNER.
NOW I'LL BE THE ORIGINAL SELLER.
YOU HAD THAT UP ON BLOCKS
THE WHOLE TIME YOU WERE IN...
UP THE... YOU KNOW... AWAY.
JO...
I KNEW I WAS SAVING IT
FOR SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
CHARLIE... YOU'RE TERRIFIC.
YOU REALLY ARE.
IT'S ABOUT TIME I STARTED
TO INVEST IN YOUR FUTURE.
THIS COVERS THE DEPOSIT.
WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF
THE YEAR... AND NEXT YEAR?
SHE TAKES AFTER EVELYN.
WE'LL WORRY ABOUT
NEXT YEAR NEXT YEAR.
WE'VE MANAGED SO FAR.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, JO?
THANKS, MA.
POP.
MR. AND MRS. POLNACZEK,
IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU.
HI, MRS. GARRETT.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HAIL THE CONQUERING WARNER.
JO, YOU'RE BACK.
I GUESS I AM.
YOU REMEMBER MY FOLKS.
NICE SEEING YOU.
WELL, I'LL TAKE THIS UPSTAIRS.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, MRS. G.?
JUST SOME STUFF.
I OPENED A CHARGE ACCOUNT
AT THE LANGLEY BOOKSTORE.
LANGLEY? YOU'RE GOING THERE?
IT'S A TERRIFIC SCHOOL.
I HEAR IT'S THE BEST.
THIS IS TRUE.
THEY TAKE ONLY
ONE GIFTED STUDENT
FROM EACH PREP SCHOOL.
THIS YEAR, IT'S MOI.
HAVEN'T THEY EVER TAKEN TWO?
THIS SWEATSHIRT LOOKS
LIKE IT'S JUST MY SIZE.
MIND IF I KEEP IT?
YOU DO HAVE FOUR.
JO, JO, JO.
YOU KNOW I'M
GENEROUS TO A FAULT.
BUT WOULDN'T IT BE
BETTER TO WEAR ONE
FROM YOUR OWN SCHOOL?
DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
LANGLEY IS MY SCHOOL.
SEE YOU AROUND CAMPUS.
THAT'S GREAT!