The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 4, Episode 20 - Who's on First - full transcript
When Natalie starts spending all her free time with a boy she likes, Tootie gets so jealous that when she picks up a call from him about their upcoming study date, she lies to Natalie and tells her that he canceled it.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
HERE'S MY LAST ONE.
WHAT?
COLLEGE APPLICATION.
AREN'T YOU DONE?
I JUST HAVE TO FINISH
THE ESSAY QUESTIONS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
"WHAT INDIVIDUAL HAD THE
BIGGEST INFLUENCE ON YOUR LIFE?"
"CALVIN KLEIN"?
THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
WHAT THEY WANT.
THESE SCHOOLS ARE
DYING TO HAVE ME.
ANYTHING THEY READ
AFTER "BLAIR WARNER"
IS FROSTING ON THE CAKE.
I'M GOING TO DO IT, YOU GUYS.
I'M GOING INTO THE MARKET.
GET ME SOME YOGURT.
STOCK MARKET. I'M
BUYING SOME STOCK.
OH? WHY THIS SUDDEN
URGE TO BUY STOCK?
I LEARNED ALL ABOUT INVESTING.
I'VE BEEN PUTTING MONEY ASIDE.
OH?
ALMOST 30 BUCKS,
JUST GATHERING DUST.
HOW MUCH DUST CAN $30 GATHER?
MY MONEY IS AS GOOD
AS ANYBODY ELSE'S.
OF COURSE IT IS, BUT
YOU JUST BE CAREFUL.
WANT TO GET IN ON THIS?
MY EX-HUSBAND WAS A GAMBLER.
I NEVER THROW MONEY
AWAY... JUST GAMBLERS.
ENTERING THE MARKET
ISN'T THROWING MONEY AWAY.
IF I PUT MONEY IN
AND DON'T RECEIVE EXACT CHANGE,
I'M NOT INTERESTED.
I HOPED YOU'D HELP CHOOSE STOCK.
THANK GOODNESS YOU HAVE ME.
I DON'T WANT YOU.
JO, COME ON. YOU
NEED MY EXPERTISE.
WALL STREET IS HARDLY
YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?
WHAT DO I KNOW?
PLEASE... I'M A WARNER.
WHEN WE TALK, PEOPLE LISTEN.
JO?
HERE YOU GO.
THAT STUFF WASN'T NECESSARY.
THEY PLAY BASKETBALL
INDOORS NOW.
WERE WE INDOORS?
I THOUGHT IT WAS OVERCAST.
WELL, HI THERE.
WON'T YOU INTRODUCE ME?
SURE.
I'LL DO IT.
MRS. GARRETT, GIL HAINEY.
HE DROVE US HOME.
HOW DO YOU DO?
MRS. GARRETT, I'VE
HEARD ABOUT YOU.
OVER AT BATES?
OVER HOT DOGS.
NATALIE TOLD ME ABOUT YOU ALL.
AND YOU CAME OVER ANYWAY?
BRAVE BOY!
THIS IS BLAIR WARNER.
HELLO THERE.
AND JO POLNIACZEK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OIL?
IT'S NOTHING WITHOUT VINEGAR.
AND HE'S FUNNY!
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME HOT CHOCOLATE?
COLD CHOCOLATE?
MILK CHOCOLATE WITH NUTS?
I HAVE TO GET MY
ROOMMATE'S CAR BACK.
HE GETS UPTIGHT
WHEN HE CAN'T FIND IT.
SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
OHHH! OHHH!
HE'S SO SWEET!
HE'S SO FUNNY!
HE'S SO NICE!
HE'S NOT MY TYPE.
OF COURSE HE IS.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE HAS A REPUTATION.
HE GOES THROUGH GIRLS
LIKE JO GOES THROUGH PENNZOIL.
NATALIE, HE'S JUST POPULAR.
I'M NOT. I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID YES.
YOU'RE VERY POPULAR.
YES WHAT?
WHAT YES?
YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!
EXCUSE US.
WE HAVE A DATE.
THAT'S TERRIFIC!
HE ASKED YOU OUT?
YES.
DID HE ASK WHEN I
WENT FOR A SODA?
NO.
WHEN I WENT FOR A PROGRAM?
NO. WHEN YOU WENT FOR STAMPS.
WHO GOES FOR STAMPS
AT A BASKETBALL GAME?
YOU TWO NEEDED A MINUTE ALONE.
BY THE TIME YOU GOT BACK,
I'D FORGOTTEN YOUR NAME.
IT WORKED, DIDN'T IT?
YEAH!
THANKS. YOU SAID
WE'D HIT IT OFF.
I KNOW YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE SAID MY EYES WERE RAVISHING.
I DIDN'T BLINK TILL
SECOND OVERTIME.
SUNDAY, WE WERE
SUPPOSED TO GO BIKING.
THAT'S WHEN WE'RE
GOING OUT. DO YOU MIND?
DON'T BE SILLY.
THIS DATE IS MORE IMPORTANT.
YOU TOOK THE WORDS
RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.
HERE! TRY SOME.
WELL?
WELL WHAT?
HOW'S THE POPCORN?
TOOTIE, IT'S POPCORN.
THERE'S NO TRICKY SAUCE.
I WANT IT TO BE GOOD.
NATALIE PROMISED TO STAY
HOME AND TALK TONIGHT.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER ALL WEEK.
I'M LOCKING US IN
TILL WE CATCH UP.
NATALIE'S GETTING
OUT A LOT LATELY.
OUT WITH GIL.
IT'S OBVIOUSLY LOVE.
THEY'RE STARTING TO WEAR
EACH OTHER'S CLOTHES.
MY MOM SIGNED THE FORMS.
I GOT MY STOCK.
I PAID, BUT DIDN'T
ACTUALLY GET IT.
I THOUGHT YOU TAKE IT HOME.
DID YOU BUY WHAT I TOLD YOU?
YES. I OWN ONE SHARE OF
KRAMER'S COMPACT LIMOS.
COMPACT LIMOS?
BLAIR SAID THE RICH
ARE CUTTING BACK.
COMPACT LIMOS SAVE GAS.
I DID.
SHE SAID IT'S A WINNER.
I DID.
SHE SAID SHE'LL PAY IF IT DROPS.
I DID NOT.
GREAT! YOU'RE HERE!
I'VE GOT TO GO.
WHY?
GIL NEEDS HIS SHIRT
AND MY HELP WITH AN ESSAY.
HE'S SO CUTE!
HE COULDN'T ASK FOR HELP.
HE JUST SAT THERE
LOOKING PITIFUL.
HE'S GOOD AT IT!
I POPPED CORN AND EVERYTHING.
IT'S DELICIOUS. IT'S REAL GOOD!
NO TIME? ALWAYS ON THE GO?
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
A COMPACT LIMO?
NOW, TOOTIE!
I THOUGHT SHE
WAS MY BEST FRIEND!
OH, SHE IS.
SHE'S CANCELED OUT
ON ME FOUR TIMES!
IT'S ALWAYS GIL!
THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE!
WHEN A MAN ENTERS
A WOMAN'S LIFE,
NO ONE ELSE EXISTS.
THAT'S SICK.
FACE IT, TOOTIE.
GIRLFRIENDS JUST HOLD THE CANDLE
TILL THE LIGHTS COME ON.
IT'S LOUSY. YOU SHOULDN'T
TREAT FRIENDS THAT WAY.
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN
TREAT WORMS THAT WAY.
THANKS.
GIL LOVES SANDBURG
AND THINKS THE THREE
STOOGES ARE UNDERRATED.
WHAT A RENAISSANCE MAN.
ANY FLOWERS YET?
A PHILODENDRON.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
A POTTED PLANT. THAT'S SERIOUS.
BUT ROSES ARE MORE SERIOUS.
NOT REALLY. HOW BIG
WAS THE PHILODENDRON?
I JUST HEARD THAT
NEW LIONEL RICHIE SONG!
IT'S TERRIFIC!
YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
ALWAYS RANTING ABOUT.
LOVE IS... IT'S...
IT'S ALL THERE IS!
HE'S CALLING YOU
BETWEEN CLASSES.
EXACTLY. AND HE'S
ALWAYS MAKING ME LAUGH.
WITH HIM, EVEN ORDINARY
THINGS ARE SO MUCH FUN!
SO TRUE! REMEMBER
WE WENT ROLLER-SKATING
AND ENDED UP IN THE DUCK POND?
WHAT A RIOT!
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.
JUST TELL ME, AND
I'LL UNDERSTAND.
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT...
GIL THINKS ABOUT
ME ALL THE TIME.
HE TALKS ABOUT ME,
DREAMS ABOUT ME,
HE EVEN SEES ME IN HIS DISH.
AND HE'S SO ATTENTIVE.
HE'S PROBABLY JUST
LETTING ME DOWN EASY.
MY STOCK IS UP!
MY MOM NEVER HAS
TO WAIT ANOTHER TABLE.
AND SHE'S NEVER
SEEN SWITZERLAND!
IT'S UP 1/4 POINT.
HOLD OFF ON THE
YODELING LESSONS.
BLAIR, HOW CAN I THANK YOU?
YOU'RE A GENIUS!
FINALLY.
SHE'S TALKING SENSE.
THIS STOCK MARKET
THING IS THE GREATEST!
DO PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS?
GIL AND I ARE GOING OUT TO EAT
AND THEN TO STUDY.
TO DO HIS STUDYING, UNDOUBTEDLY.
HUH?
HE ONLY LIKES YOU FOR
YOUR ENGLISH OUTLINES!
WE'RE GOING TO
THAT JAPANESE PLACE
WHERE YOU LEAVE YOUR
SHOES AT THE DOOR.
WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?
YOUR BEST SOCKS.
NO PROBLEM. I'LL GET IT.
YEAH, HELLO.
HI, GIL.
NATURALLY. HANG
ON. I'LL GET HER.
WHAT?
YEAH, I'LL GIVE HER A MESSAGE.
YOU'LL MEET HER AT
THE BOOKSTORE AT 6:30.
NO, I WON'T FORGET!
GOOD-BYE.
NAT, THAT WAS GIL.
GOOD. I WANTED TO CALL HIM.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
HE SAID...
HE'S SORRY, BUT HE
HAS TO CANCEL TONIGHT.
OH, NO.
HOW COME?
HE DIDN'T SAY.
WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?
NOTHING.
HE MUST HAVE SAID SOMETHING.
YEAH. HE CANCELED.
I'LL CALL ANYWAY. HE
WANTED HELP WITH HOMEWORK.
I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
WHY NOT?
I GOT THE FEELING
HE FOUND SOME HELP.
I HEARD SOMEBODY
ELSE IN THE BACKGROUND.
THAT WAS PROBABLY
HIS ROOMMATE ROBERT.
MAYBE.
MAYBE.
ONLY... ONLY WHAT?
DOES ROBERT TALK LIKE THIS?
HE WAS WITH A GIRL?
WELL...
SEE? I TOLD YOU!
HE'S AT IT ALREADY!
DON'T WORRY, NAT.
WE'LL GO TO A MOVIE.
A MOVIE?
WE'LL HAVE BONBONS AND JUJUBES!
IT'LL BE FUN!
YEAH.
IT'LL BE FUN.
AT LEAST I'VE GOT
ONE REAL FRIEND.
YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME.
WHERE WERE YOU?
WHERE WERE YOU?
WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.
NOT WITH ME?
DIDN'T WE HAVE A DATE?
YES.
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD.
WHERE WERE YOU?
AT THE BOOKSTORE!
YOU GOT LOST?
I ASKED YOU TO MEET ME THERE!
WHEN?
WHEN I CALLED!
I DIDN'T SPEAK TO YOU.
I TOLD TOOTIE.
TOOTIE SAID YOU CANCELED.
I NEVER CANCELED!
SHE SAID YOU WERE
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
WHO WAS I WITH?
I THINK TOOTIE WANTS TO TALK.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
'CAUSE I WANT TO TALK!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I MEAN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I GET IT. CALL ME LATER...
IF YOU HAVE A VOICE LEFT.
RIGHT.
I CAN DO THIS MYSELF.
IT DOESN'T HURT TO HELP OUT.
THAT'S VERY CONSIDERATE.
TOOTIE!
ALL RIGHT, SIT DOWN!
NO. YOU... THE SHEET!
I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!
START EXPLAINING!
I WAS COLD?
GIL WAITED FOR HOURS
AT THE BOOKSTORE!
MRS. GARRETT!
YOU SHOULD HEAR THIS!
THAT ISN'T NECESSARY.
THERE'S A LIAR LIVING HERE.
IT'S REALLY NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
STAY. YOU'LL SEE WHY NATALIE
GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED!
IT'S BEST I LEAVE... RIGHT NOW.
ASK HER WHY SHE SAID
GIL CANCELED OUR DATE,
WHEN HE DIDN'T.
YOU SAID THAT? HOW COULD YOU?
NO, I WON'T GET INVOLVED.
I DID IT FOR HER OWN GOOD.
SHE SEES TOO MUCH OF GIL.
HE'LL DUMP HER AFTER
THE ENGLISH FINAL!
HE'S NOT LIKE THAT!
YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT HE'S LIKE!
THAT'S WHAT BEST
FRIENDS ARE FOR!
BEST FRIENDS SHOULD UNDERSTAND.
YOUR PROBLEM IS, YOU'RE
NOT NUMBER ONE ANYMORE.
YOU HAVE TO GO OUT
WITH OTHER GIRLFRIENDS.
RIGHT, MRS. GARRETT?
I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE SIDES!
DON'T TAKE SIDES.
TELL NATALIE SHE'S WRONG.
I AM NOT! MRS. GARRETT?
OOH... ALL RIGHT.
FIRST OF ALL...
FIRST OF ALL, LYING
IS A TERRIBLE THING.
HOWEVER, THERE'S NO FIRST
OR SECOND PLACE IN FRIENDSHIP.
THERE'S ROOM FOR EVERYONE.
THIS IS BETWEEN TOOTIE AND ME.
YOU MEAN SOMEBODY
STILL LIVES HERE?
NATALIE'S ALWAYS OFF WITH GIL,
TOOTIE'S ALWAYS OFF MINGLING,
AND JO JUST DROPS BY
TO READ THE DOW JONES.
GEE...
IT SURE IS NICE TO HAVE
SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
NO.
UH-OH. SHE CAN'T SEE THIS.
I CAN'T LET JO SEE THIS.
SEE WHAT? LET ME SEE IT.
FASHION NEWS.
HALSTON HAS A NEW LINE.
I HOPE IT'S NEWER THAN YOURS.
OH, NO!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IT NOSE-DIVED! A WHOLE POINT!
I'M RUINED.
OH, DEAR.
THIS IS IT... APOCALYPSE NOW.
I WASN'T MEANT TO HAVE MONEY.
NOW, JO... YOU AND
YOUR COMPACT LIMOS!
"A SURE WINNER," YOU SAID.
I DID?
"UNLEADED LUXURY," YOU SAID.
I DID?
"THE STOCK OF THE
EIGHTIES," YOU SAID.
WHY DID YOU LISTEN?
I'M NOT E.F. HUTTON.
IT'S ALL OVER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'VE GOT NOTHING, THANKS TO YOU.
YOU'RE NOT THINKING
OF DOING ANYTHING SILLY?
NO. MURDER IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.
I... HE... GIL... GIL WHAT?
HE... OHHH!
OHHH!
WHERE IS TOOTIE?
SHE'S WITH TERRY AND JENNY.
IT'S A CRISIS! SHE
SHOULD BE HERE!
WAS SHE MEETING YOU HERE?
NO, BUT I NEED TO TALK.
WELL, NOW, NATALIE!
FRIENDS SHOULD BE THERE
WHEN YOU NEED THEM.
NOW, WAIT...
SHE WASN'T HERE
TODAY. SHE'S NEVER HERE!
STOP! DO YOU HEAR
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
WHAT?
YOU'RE SAYING THAT TOOTIE
IS NEVER AROUND FOR YOU.
DID I SAY THAT?
YOU'RE CLAIMING SHE SPENDS
TOO MUCH TIME WITH FRIENDS
WHEN YOU TOLD HER TO
SPEND MORE TIME WITH FRIENDS.
I SAID THAT?
YOU'RE SAYING WHEN YOU
HAVE A FREE MOMENT FROM GIL,
SHE SHOULD BE THERE, WAITING.
IS THAT WHAT I SAID?
I SAID THAT, DIDN'T I?
WHAT A CREEP.
IS SHE IN HERE?
WHO?
JO.
NO.
OH, THANK GOODNESS.
AHHH!
DON'T WORRY. I'M ALL RIGHT NOW.
I DECIDED TO SELL MY STOCK.
OH, GOOD.
I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE.
ME, NEITHER.
IT'S TOO NERVE-RACKING.
WHAT'LL YOU DO WITH YOUR MONEY?
REAL ESTATE.
REAL ESTATE?
YEAH. I'LL BUY A PARKING
SPACE FOR MY BIKE.
THIS WEIRDO COMES UP AND SAYS,
"BABY, I'M A PISCES.
THAT'S THE FISH."
SO TOOTIE SAID, "I'M
TAURUS. THAT'S BULL."
OHHH...
TOOTIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
LET'S SEE A MOVIE.
OHHH... I'D LOVE TO... OHHH!
I'D BETTER STUDY.
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
WE'LL CALL YOU.
OK. BYE.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING.
MAYBE YOU CAN FOOL
OTHER PEOPLE, BUT I CAN TELL.
SOMETHING'S BOTHERING YOU.
I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.
EXCUSE US.
OK. WE'RE ALONE.
SIT DOWN AND TALK.
I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU TALK.
WELL... MY WORLD
IS COMING TO AN END.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I SAW GIL WITH... ANOTHER WOMAN.
WHAT WERE THEY DOING?
THEY WERE... TALKING.
THAT'S ALL?
WHAT ELSE WOULD
THEY DO IN PUBLIC?
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
SO YOU SAW HIM WITH HER.
DID YOU ASK HIM ABOUT IT?
I DIDN'T WANT TO PRY.
SO YOU SAW HIM
WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
DON'T YOU TALK TO OTHER BOYS?
WELL, YEAH.
SEE? IT DOESN'T MEAN A THING.
HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
YOU REALLY THINK SO?
YOU'RE LISTENING TO ME.
YOU SHOULDN'T
BE LISTENING TO ME.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE!
FIRST I TOLD YOU
TO... THEN YOU DID IT.
NOW I'M SORRY I TOLD YOU TO...
WHY SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?
I'M LISTENING. I JUST
CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
I'VE BEEN ROTTEN TO YOU, TOOTIE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
BUT I LIED. I FEEL AWFUL.
YOU SHOULD, BUT
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
I HAVEN'T HAD TIME FOR YOU.
THEN I'M MAD 'CAUSE YOU'RE
NOT HERE WHEN I NEED YOU.
YOU CAN'T STICK ME ON ICE
AND TAKE ME OUT WHEN
YOU'RE DESPERATE.
I'M NOT A CHICKEN POT PIE.
I KNOW THAT, TOOTIE.
FRIENDSHIPS, NO
MATTER WHAT KIND,
TAKE TIME AND CARE AND INPUT.
AND THEY'RE IMPORTANT, TOO.
I MEAN, GIL ISN'T
EVERYTHING... IS HE?
NO. HE'S NOT.
I NEED YOU BOTH.
I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU.
I WANT IT ALL!
FEEL BETTER NOW?
YEAH.
NOW HELP ME. WHAT ABOUT GIL?
I GOT A PLAN.
FIRST, GO DIAL HIS NUMBER.
RIGHT!
HERE.
THEN WHAT?
TALK TO HIM.
NOW, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?
WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?
WE'VE COVERED THAT, NATALIE.
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
HERE'S MY LAST ONE.
WHAT?
COLLEGE APPLICATION.
AREN'T YOU DONE?
I JUST HAVE TO FINISH
THE ESSAY QUESTIONS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
"WHAT INDIVIDUAL HAD THE
BIGGEST INFLUENCE ON YOUR LIFE?"
"CALVIN KLEIN"?
THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
WHAT THEY WANT.
THESE SCHOOLS ARE
DYING TO HAVE ME.
ANYTHING THEY READ
AFTER "BLAIR WARNER"
IS FROSTING ON THE CAKE.
I'M GOING TO DO IT, YOU GUYS.
I'M GOING INTO THE MARKET.
GET ME SOME YOGURT.
STOCK MARKET. I'M
BUYING SOME STOCK.
OH? WHY THIS SUDDEN
URGE TO BUY STOCK?
I LEARNED ALL ABOUT INVESTING.
I'VE BEEN PUTTING MONEY ASIDE.
OH?
ALMOST 30 BUCKS,
JUST GATHERING DUST.
HOW MUCH DUST CAN $30 GATHER?
MY MONEY IS AS GOOD
AS ANYBODY ELSE'S.
OF COURSE IT IS, BUT
YOU JUST BE CAREFUL.
WANT TO GET IN ON THIS?
MY EX-HUSBAND WAS A GAMBLER.
I NEVER THROW MONEY
AWAY... JUST GAMBLERS.
ENTERING THE MARKET
ISN'T THROWING MONEY AWAY.
IF I PUT MONEY IN
AND DON'T RECEIVE EXACT CHANGE,
I'M NOT INTERESTED.
I HOPED YOU'D HELP CHOOSE STOCK.
THANK GOODNESS YOU HAVE ME.
I DON'T WANT YOU.
JO, COME ON. YOU
NEED MY EXPERTISE.
WALL STREET IS HARDLY
YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?
WHAT DO I KNOW?
PLEASE... I'M A WARNER.
WHEN WE TALK, PEOPLE LISTEN.
JO?
HERE YOU GO.
THAT STUFF WASN'T NECESSARY.
THEY PLAY BASKETBALL
INDOORS NOW.
WERE WE INDOORS?
I THOUGHT IT WAS OVERCAST.
WELL, HI THERE.
WON'T YOU INTRODUCE ME?
SURE.
I'LL DO IT.
MRS. GARRETT, GIL HAINEY.
HE DROVE US HOME.
HOW DO YOU DO?
MRS. GARRETT, I'VE
HEARD ABOUT YOU.
OVER AT BATES?
OVER HOT DOGS.
NATALIE TOLD ME ABOUT YOU ALL.
AND YOU CAME OVER ANYWAY?
BRAVE BOY!
THIS IS BLAIR WARNER.
HELLO THERE.
AND JO POLNIACZEK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OIL?
IT'S NOTHING WITHOUT VINEGAR.
AND HE'S FUNNY!
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME HOT CHOCOLATE?
COLD CHOCOLATE?
MILK CHOCOLATE WITH NUTS?
I HAVE TO GET MY
ROOMMATE'S CAR BACK.
HE GETS UPTIGHT
WHEN HE CAN'T FIND IT.
SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
OHHH! OHHH!
HE'S SO SWEET!
HE'S SO FUNNY!
HE'S SO NICE!
HE'S NOT MY TYPE.
OF COURSE HE IS.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE HAS A REPUTATION.
HE GOES THROUGH GIRLS
LIKE JO GOES THROUGH PENNZOIL.
NATALIE, HE'S JUST POPULAR.
I'M NOT. I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID YES.
YOU'RE VERY POPULAR.
YES WHAT?
WHAT YES?
YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!
EXCUSE US.
WE HAVE A DATE.
THAT'S TERRIFIC!
HE ASKED YOU OUT?
YES.
DID HE ASK WHEN I
WENT FOR A SODA?
NO.
WHEN I WENT FOR A PROGRAM?
NO. WHEN YOU WENT FOR STAMPS.
WHO GOES FOR STAMPS
AT A BASKETBALL GAME?
YOU TWO NEEDED A MINUTE ALONE.
BY THE TIME YOU GOT BACK,
I'D FORGOTTEN YOUR NAME.
IT WORKED, DIDN'T IT?
YEAH!
THANKS. YOU SAID
WE'D HIT IT OFF.
I KNOW YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE SAID MY EYES WERE RAVISHING.
I DIDN'T BLINK TILL
SECOND OVERTIME.
SUNDAY, WE WERE
SUPPOSED TO GO BIKING.
THAT'S WHEN WE'RE
GOING OUT. DO YOU MIND?
DON'T BE SILLY.
THIS DATE IS MORE IMPORTANT.
YOU TOOK THE WORDS
RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.
HERE! TRY SOME.
WELL?
WELL WHAT?
HOW'S THE POPCORN?
TOOTIE, IT'S POPCORN.
THERE'S NO TRICKY SAUCE.
I WANT IT TO BE GOOD.
NATALIE PROMISED TO STAY
HOME AND TALK TONIGHT.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER ALL WEEK.
I'M LOCKING US IN
TILL WE CATCH UP.
NATALIE'S GETTING
OUT A LOT LATELY.
OUT WITH GIL.
IT'S OBVIOUSLY LOVE.
THEY'RE STARTING TO WEAR
EACH OTHER'S CLOTHES.
MY MOM SIGNED THE FORMS.
I GOT MY STOCK.
I PAID, BUT DIDN'T
ACTUALLY GET IT.
I THOUGHT YOU TAKE IT HOME.
DID YOU BUY WHAT I TOLD YOU?
YES. I OWN ONE SHARE OF
KRAMER'S COMPACT LIMOS.
COMPACT LIMOS?
BLAIR SAID THE RICH
ARE CUTTING BACK.
COMPACT LIMOS SAVE GAS.
I DID.
SHE SAID IT'S A WINNER.
I DID.
SHE SAID SHE'LL PAY IF IT DROPS.
I DID NOT.
GREAT! YOU'RE HERE!
I'VE GOT TO GO.
WHY?
GIL NEEDS HIS SHIRT
AND MY HELP WITH AN ESSAY.
HE'S SO CUTE!
HE COULDN'T ASK FOR HELP.
HE JUST SAT THERE
LOOKING PITIFUL.
HE'S GOOD AT IT!
I POPPED CORN AND EVERYTHING.
IT'S DELICIOUS. IT'S REAL GOOD!
NO TIME? ALWAYS ON THE GO?
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
A COMPACT LIMO?
NOW, TOOTIE!
I THOUGHT SHE
WAS MY BEST FRIEND!
OH, SHE IS.
SHE'S CANCELED OUT
ON ME FOUR TIMES!
IT'S ALWAYS GIL!
THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE!
WHEN A MAN ENTERS
A WOMAN'S LIFE,
NO ONE ELSE EXISTS.
THAT'S SICK.
FACE IT, TOOTIE.
GIRLFRIENDS JUST HOLD THE CANDLE
TILL THE LIGHTS COME ON.
IT'S LOUSY. YOU SHOULDN'T
TREAT FRIENDS THAT WAY.
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN
TREAT WORMS THAT WAY.
THANKS.
GIL LOVES SANDBURG
AND THINKS THE THREE
STOOGES ARE UNDERRATED.
WHAT A RENAISSANCE MAN.
ANY FLOWERS YET?
A PHILODENDRON.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
A POTTED PLANT. THAT'S SERIOUS.
BUT ROSES ARE MORE SERIOUS.
NOT REALLY. HOW BIG
WAS THE PHILODENDRON?
I JUST HEARD THAT
NEW LIONEL RICHIE SONG!
IT'S TERRIFIC!
YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
ALWAYS RANTING ABOUT.
LOVE IS... IT'S...
IT'S ALL THERE IS!
HE'S CALLING YOU
BETWEEN CLASSES.
EXACTLY. AND HE'S
ALWAYS MAKING ME LAUGH.
WITH HIM, EVEN ORDINARY
THINGS ARE SO MUCH FUN!
SO TRUE! REMEMBER
WE WENT ROLLER-SKATING
AND ENDED UP IN THE DUCK POND?
WHAT A RIOT!
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.
JUST TELL ME, AND
I'LL UNDERSTAND.
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT...
GIL THINKS ABOUT
ME ALL THE TIME.
HE TALKS ABOUT ME,
DREAMS ABOUT ME,
HE EVEN SEES ME IN HIS DISH.
AND HE'S SO ATTENTIVE.
HE'S PROBABLY JUST
LETTING ME DOWN EASY.
MY STOCK IS UP!
MY MOM NEVER HAS
TO WAIT ANOTHER TABLE.
AND SHE'S NEVER
SEEN SWITZERLAND!
IT'S UP 1/4 POINT.
HOLD OFF ON THE
YODELING LESSONS.
BLAIR, HOW CAN I THANK YOU?
YOU'RE A GENIUS!
FINALLY.
SHE'S TALKING SENSE.
THIS STOCK MARKET
THING IS THE GREATEST!
DO PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS?
GIL AND I ARE GOING OUT TO EAT
AND THEN TO STUDY.
TO DO HIS STUDYING, UNDOUBTEDLY.
HUH?
HE ONLY LIKES YOU FOR
YOUR ENGLISH OUTLINES!
WE'RE GOING TO
THAT JAPANESE PLACE
WHERE YOU LEAVE YOUR
SHOES AT THE DOOR.
WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?
YOUR BEST SOCKS.
NO PROBLEM. I'LL GET IT.
YEAH, HELLO.
HI, GIL.
NATURALLY. HANG
ON. I'LL GET HER.
WHAT?
YEAH, I'LL GIVE HER A MESSAGE.
YOU'LL MEET HER AT
THE BOOKSTORE AT 6:30.
NO, I WON'T FORGET!
GOOD-BYE.
NAT, THAT WAS GIL.
GOOD. I WANTED TO CALL HIM.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
HE SAID...
HE'S SORRY, BUT HE
HAS TO CANCEL TONIGHT.
OH, NO.
HOW COME?
HE DIDN'T SAY.
WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?
NOTHING.
HE MUST HAVE SAID SOMETHING.
YEAH. HE CANCELED.
I'LL CALL ANYWAY. HE
WANTED HELP WITH HOMEWORK.
I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
WHY NOT?
I GOT THE FEELING
HE FOUND SOME HELP.
I HEARD SOMEBODY
ELSE IN THE BACKGROUND.
THAT WAS PROBABLY
HIS ROOMMATE ROBERT.
MAYBE.
MAYBE.
ONLY... ONLY WHAT?
DOES ROBERT TALK LIKE THIS?
HE WAS WITH A GIRL?
WELL...
SEE? I TOLD YOU!
HE'S AT IT ALREADY!
DON'T WORRY, NAT.
WE'LL GO TO A MOVIE.
A MOVIE?
WE'LL HAVE BONBONS AND JUJUBES!
IT'LL BE FUN!
YEAH.
IT'LL BE FUN.
AT LEAST I'VE GOT
ONE REAL FRIEND.
YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME.
WHERE WERE YOU?
WHERE WERE YOU?
WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.
NOT WITH ME?
DIDN'T WE HAVE A DATE?
YES.
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD.
WHERE WERE YOU?
AT THE BOOKSTORE!
YOU GOT LOST?
I ASKED YOU TO MEET ME THERE!
WHEN?
WHEN I CALLED!
I DIDN'T SPEAK TO YOU.
I TOLD TOOTIE.
TOOTIE SAID YOU CANCELED.
I NEVER CANCELED!
SHE SAID YOU WERE
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
WHO WAS I WITH?
I THINK TOOTIE WANTS TO TALK.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
'CAUSE I WANT TO TALK!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I MEAN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I GET IT. CALL ME LATER...
IF YOU HAVE A VOICE LEFT.
RIGHT.
I CAN DO THIS MYSELF.
IT DOESN'T HURT TO HELP OUT.
THAT'S VERY CONSIDERATE.
TOOTIE!
ALL RIGHT, SIT DOWN!
NO. YOU... THE SHEET!
I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!
START EXPLAINING!
I WAS COLD?
GIL WAITED FOR HOURS
AT THE BOOKSTORE!
MRS. GARRETT!
YOU SHOULD HEAR THIS!
THAT ISN'T NECESSARY.
THERE'S A LIAR LIVING HERE.
IT'S REALLY NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
STAY. YOU'LL SEE WHY NATALIE
GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED!
IT'S BEST I LEAVE... RIGHT NOW.
ASK HER WHY SHE SAID
GIL CANCELED OUR DATE,
WHEN HE DIDN'T.
YOU SAID THAT? HOW COULD YOU?
NO, I WON'T GET INVOLVED.
I DID IT FOR HER OWN GOOD.
SHE SEES TOO MUCH OF GIL.
HE'LL DUMP HER AFTER
THE ENGLISH FINAL!
HE'S NOT LIKE THAT!
YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT HE'S LIKE!
THAT'S WHAT BEST
FRIENDS ARE FOR!
BEST FRIENDS SHOULD UNDERSTAND.
YOUR PROBLEM IS, YOU'RE
NOT NUMBER ONE ANYMORE.
YOU HAVE TO GO OUT
WITH OTHER GIRLFRIENDS.
RIGHT, MRS. GARRETT?
I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE SIDES!
DON'T TAKE SIDES.
TELL NATALIE SHE'S WRONG.
I AM NOT! MRS. GARRETT?
OOH... ALL RIGHT.
FIRST OF ALL...
FIRST OF ALL, LYING
IS A TERRIBLE THING.
HOWEVER, THERE'S NO FIRST
OR SECOND PLACE IN FRIENDSHIP.
THERE'S ROOM FOR EVERYONE.
THIS IS BETWEEN TOOTIE AND ME.
YOU MEAN SOMEBODY
STILL LIVES HERE?
NATALIE'S ALWAYS OFF WITH GIL,
TOOTIE'S ALWAYS OFF MINGLING,
AND JO JUST DROPS BY
TO READ THE DOW JONES.
GEE...
IT SURE IS NICE TO HAVE
SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
NO.
UH-OH. SHE CAN'T SEE THIS.
I CAN'T LET JO SEE THIS.
SEE WHAT? LET ME SEE IT.
FASHION NEWS.
HALSTON HAS A NEW LINE.
I HOPE IT'S NEWER THAN YOURS.
OH, NO!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IT NOSE-DIVED! A WHOLE POINT!
I'M RUINED.
OH, DEAR.
THIS IS IT... APOCALYPSE NOW.
I WASN'T MEANT TO HAVE MONEY.
NOW, JO... YOU AND
YOUR COMPACT LIMOS!
"A SURE WINNER," YOU SAID.
I DID?
"UNLEADED LUXURY," YOU SAID.
I DID?
"THE STOCK OF THE
EIGHTIES," YOU SAID.
WHY DID YOU LISTEN?
I'M NOT E.F. HUTTON.
IT'S ALL OVER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'VE GOT NOTHING, THANKS TO YOU.
YOU'RE NOT THINKING
OF DOING ANYTHING SILLY?
NO. MURDER IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.
I... HE... GIL... GIL WHAT?
HE... OHHH!
OHHH!
WHERE IS TOOTIE?
SHE'S WITH TERRY AND JENNY.
IT'S A CRISIS! SHE
SHOULD BE HERE!
WAS SHE MEETING YOU HERE?
NO, BUT I NEED TO TALK.
WELL, NOW, NATALIE!
FRIENDS SHOULD BE THERE
WHEN YOU NEED THEM.
NOW, WAIT...
SHE WASN'T HERE
TODAY. SHE'S NEVER HERE!
STOP! DO YOU HEAR
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
WHAT?
YOU'RE SAYING THAT TOOTIE
IS NEVER AROUND FOR YOU.
DID I SAY THAT?
YOU'RE CLAIMING SHE SPENDS
TOO MUCH TIME WITH FRIENDS
WHEN YOU TOLD HER TO
SPEND MORE TIME WITH FRIENDS.
I SAID THAT?
YOU'RE SAYING WHEN YOU
HAVE A FREE MOMENT FROM GIL,
SHE SHOULD BE THERE, WAITING.
IS THAT WHAT I SAID?
I SAID THAT, DIDN'T I?
WHAT A CREEP.
IS SHE IN HERE?
WHO?
JO.
NO.
OH, THANK GOODNESS.
AHHH!
DON'T WORRY. I'M ALL RIGHT NOW.
I DECIDED TO SELL MY STOCK.
OH, GOOD.
I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE.
ME, NEITHER.
IT'S TOO NERVE-RACKING.
WHAT'LL YOU DO WITH YOUR MONEY?
REAL ESTATE.
REAL ESTATE?
YEAH. I'LL BUY A PARKING
SPACE FOR MY BIKE.
THIS WEIRDO COMES UP AND SAYS,
"BABY, I'M A PISCES.
THAT'S THE FISH."
SO TOOTIE SAID, "I'M
TAURUS. THAT'S BULL."
OHHH...
TOOTIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
LET'S SEE A MOVIE.
OHHH... I'D LOVE TO... OHHH!
I'D BETTER STUDY.
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
WE'LL CALL YOU.
OK. BYE.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING.
MAYBE YOU CAN FOOL
OTHER PEOPLE, BUT I CAN TELL.
SOMETHING'S BOTHERING YOU.
I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.
EXCUSE US.
OK. WE'RE ALONE.
SIT DOWN AND TALK.
I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU TALK.
WELL... MY WORLD
IS COMING TO AN END.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I SAW GIL WITH... ANOTHER WOMAN.
WHAT WERE THEY DOING?
THEY WERE... TALKING.
THAT'S ALL?
WHAT ELSE WOULD
THEY DO IN PUBLIC?
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
SO YOU SAW HIM WITH HER.
DID YOU ASK HIM ABOUT IT?
I DIDN'T WANT TO PRY.
SO YOU SAW HIM
WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
DON'T YOU TALK TO OTHER BOYS?
WELL, YEAH.
SEE? IT DOESN'T MEAN A THING.
HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
YOU REALLY THINK SO?
YOU'RE LISTENING TO ME.
YOU SHOULDN'T
BE LISTENING TO ME.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE!
FIRST I TOLD YOU
TO... THEN YOU DID IT.
NOW I'M SORRY I TOLD YOU TO...
WHY SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?
I'M LISTENING. I JUST
CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
I'VE BEEN ROTTEN TO YOU, TOOTIE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
BUT I LIED. I FEEL AWFUL.
YOU SHOULD, BUT
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
I HAVEN'T HAD TIME FOR YOU.
THEN I'M MAD 'CAUSE YOU'RE
NOT HERE WHEN I NEED YOU.
YOU CAN'T STICK ME ON ICE
AND TAKE ME OUT WHEN
YOU'RE DESPERATE.
I'M NOT A CHICKEN POT PIE.
I KNOW THAT, TOOTIE.
FRIENDSHIPS, NO
MATTER WHAT KIND,
TAKE TIME AND CARE AND INPUT.
AND THEY'RE IMPORTANT, TOO.
I MEAN, GIL ISN'T
EVERYTHING... IS HE?
NO. HE'S NOT.
I NEED YOU BOTH.
I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU.
I WANT IT ALL!
FEEL BETTER NOW?
YEAH.
NOW HELP ME. WHAT ABOUT GIL?
I GOT A PLAN.
FIRST, GO DIAL HIS NUMBER.
RIGHT!
HERE.
THEN WHAT?
TALK TO HIM.
NOW, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?
WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?
WE'VE COVERED THAT, NATALIE.