The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 3, Episode 5 - Front Page - full transcript

♪

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take them both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you got to
go and show you're growing ♪

♪ And now you know
about the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪



♪ You ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get them right ♪

♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

In case you're interested, Jo,

we are engaged in
post-breakfast activities.

Clearing the dishes,
wiping the tables.

Sound familiar?

Blair, don't bother her. She's
dangerous when she's engrossed.

Yeah, she types with the
hunt-and-punch system.

Well, I'm not afraid of her.



You chipped my nail!

Mrs. Garrett, look!

Oh, that's very good, Blair.

Mrs. Garrett, Jo struck me.

Yeah, assault with
a deadly semicolon.

Mrs. Garrett, she's been
bugging me all morning

and I gotta finish this story
before journalism class.

Why? All Mr. Gideon wants
today is a subject for the story.

I gotta do something
to impress the guy.

He's been giving
me Cs all semester.

You've been working really
hard, Jo. I'm sure you'll do fine.

It's not that simple, Mrs. G.

See, Gideon and I have a
kind of love-hate relationship.

I love journalism
and he hates me.

Do you realize how lucky
we are to have Mr. Gideon?

He was a reporter,
a correspondent.

He's got leather
patches on his sleeves.

Now, if that's not journalism
I don't know what is.

Big deal.

Jo, Mr. Gideon's the one
who gave the students

editorial control of
the school paper.

So? He's got it in for me.

Nothing I do impresses him.

He gives me the same
kind of look I used to get

when I tried to
cross 149th street

without the Bronx
Barbarian's permission.

"She walks in
beauty like the night."

Take a hike, Roy.

I come bearing gifts,

bread, rolls, prune danish...

I'll go get the order form.

Eh?

Please, Roy, I don't have
time for you right now.

Make time. Blind devotion
doesn't grow on trees.

You're beautiful when you type.

Roy, would you give me a break?

I've got enough
problems with Gideon.

Is some obnoxious creep
giving you a hard time?

Tell him to get lost.

Get lost.

I'm talking about my
journalism teacher.

Well, here you go,
Roy. Bake away.

Let's have dinner sometime.

Lunch? Dare I say breakfast?

No, you daren't.

Goodbye. Goodbye!

All right, all right,
come on, girls,

let's give Jo a little
breathing room, huh?

Good luck, Jo. You're
gonna do it, buddy.

As a journalist, your
key word is "fact."

Fast. Accurate.
Concise. And True.

Don't you ever forget that.

Now, I would like
a progress report

on the stories that
are due next week.

And remember, your fellow
students will be reading them

in the next edition
of the school paper.

And we all know how
vicious they can be.

Okay, who wants to
start the ball rolling?

Blair?

You're going to
love this, Mr. Gideon.

I've decided to write
an in-depth story

defending Nancy Reagan's
purchase of new White House china.

I think that's a point of
view that's worth exploring.

Thank you, Blair.

All right. Next.

Jo? You have a subject?

Well, I got more
than that, 300 words.

It's not due today.

Oh, I know. But see, once
I got started I couldn't stop.

Go ahead. Read me your lead.

"The Eastland School's
Board of Directors

"voted eight to three last week

"to approve funds to
redecorate the faculty lounge.

- "The funds..."
- Hold it, Jo.

Where did you get that?

I have my sources.

I see.

Did your sources tell you that the
teachers themselves met yesterday?

We decided that the funds
should be used elsewhere.

No.

But how was I
supposed to know that?

It's your job to know.

You check, then
you double-check.

Then you check again.

Tell me what those
letters stand for.

Fact. Um, fast...

Fast. Accurate. Concise. True.

Now a good reporter
gets all four of them.

How many did you get?

Look, I've spent
a lot of time...

Jo, Jo, time doesn't count.

Find another story.

Mrs. Garrett, I ought to get
combat pay for working with her.

I'll mangle that
creep. That slime.

That Ivy League sewer rat.

Okay, okay, but what did those
poor dishes ever do to you?

Jo, don't be upset

just because Mr. Gideon
wasn't crazy about your story.

It isn't that.

Jo's mad because he made her
look stupid in front of the whole class.

He should have
done that in private.

He wants me to start from
scratch with a new story.

He's so cute and yet so cruel.

Jo, if you're having a
problem with Mr. Gideon,

go and talk to him about it.

What's the point? He
doesn't listen to me anyway.

Then write that new
story he asked for.

Let that do your
talking for you.

Uh, Mrs. Garrett, there's
a little chip out of this one.

I think we got off cheap.

Jo, learn from this.

For your next story, pick a subject
that you know something about.

That's close to you.

Like mob violence.

Hello, lovelies.

Loveliest.

Do you believe this guy?

Isn't it a little late for one
of your deliveries, Roy?

Oh, I'm not here on business.

This visit is strictly social.

Roy, I am not in a good mood.

I am angry and I am
upset. Do you understand?

It's just that I had some
news that might interest you.

Roy, a half-price
sale on Yamahas

wouldn't interest me right now.

It's about Mr. Gideon.

What about him?

I thought we could
talk about it over pizza.

Loosens my tongue.

And I'm gonna loosen some teeth.

All right.

Your Mr. Gideon was caught
in a raid at a coke party.

And I don't mean the kind of
coke that things go better with.

Cocaine?

I don't believe it.

Roy, you're making this up.

It happened last night.

Look, my brother's a
policeman at Woods Glen.

He told me about it.

Well, your brother is
obviously mistaken.

There's more than one
Mr. Gideon in the whole world.

Robert Michael
Gideon, 33 years old.

Teacher at Eastland?

That narrows it down a little.

I feel sick.

Uh, look, Roy, keep this
information to yourself.

We wouldn't want it to get out.

Secret's safe with me.
Great. Good night, Roy.

What about our pizza? No.

We'll make it deep dish. No.

I feel so used.

That was a very
noble gesture, Jo,

protecting Mr. Gideon like that.

I'm impressed.

I'm stunned.

I'm not going to let
the Peekskill Papers

print a sensational,
scandalous story like that.

Good.

Our paper is going to print it.

We can't do that.

Yes, we can.

We've got editorial control
of the paper, remember?

And Gideon told me to find
a new story. Well, I got one.

And what's a better story than a
teacher being busted for cocaine?

Hey, thanks a lot, Sergeant.
That's all I needed to know.

There's no mistake?

No way.

I still say there is a simple
explanation to this whole thing.

Sure. He did it
and he got caught.

And it's my sacred
duty as a reporter

to make a disgusting
spectacle of him.

This has nothing to do
with being a reporter, Jo.

All you want is revenge.

All right, how does this
sound as a headline?

"Teacher Busted in Cocaine Raid"

Subtle, very subtle.

I'm exhausted.

You know, that exercise class

should be declared
hazardous to your health.

What's going on?

Nothing. Goofing off.

I see.

Actually, Tootie, we're
doing something here.

Fine.

Well, it's kind of private.

Great.

I'll just wander into the
kitchen and fix myself a snack.

Oh, we'd really
appreciate that, Tootie.

Thanks.

Tootie!

All right, all right!

All right, Nat, you're the editor,
give me some feedback on...

Jo, I'm not exactly
sure about this story.

I mean, there may not be room
for it in the paper this month.

Maybe some other month.
Maybe some other year.

Natalie, you don't
have to print it.

Yes, she does.

Remember the First Amendment.

We're talking about
freedom of the press here.

If Jason Robards hadn't
printed Robert Redford's story

in All The President's Men

the course of our country's
history might have been changed.

Think about that, Natalie.

I'm thinking!

You'll be taking your place
among the giants of journalism.

You'll be taking your place
on a bus out of Eastland.

Now I know why
Lou Grant is bald.

Mrs. Garrett, can I talk to
you about an editorial decision?

Well, wouldn't Mr. Gideon be a
better person to ask about that?

Not this time.

Okay.

Shoot.

I've got this real hot story,

and I'd be hurting
someone I respect if I print it.

But if I don't, I'll be compromising
my journalistic principles.

Oh, that is a tough decision.

I remember when I was
working on my school paper...

Great! This is what I want.

A real life
experience I can use.

Go ahead.

Well, I was covering
the annual class bake-off

and my best friend
Sarah Schrank had baked

this beautiful
15-inch apple pie.

Or so I thought.

Just before the judging,

I discovered that she had bought
the pie at Olson's bakeshop in town.

Well, I didn't know what to do.

If I didn't run the story I'd
be deceiving my readers.

And if I did, I'd ruin my
friendship with Sarah.

Well, I'm proud to say

that after further investigation

I learned that Sarah
had baked it herself

and that only the pie plate
had come from Olson's.

That's it?

Well, isn't there anything
in there you can use?

Not unless the apple pie
was laced with cocaine.

Cocaine?

Mr. Gideon was arrested
at a cocaine party.

Oh, Natalie, are
you sure about that?

Yes, yes!

Jo got the whole story from
the police at Woods Glen.

Mr. Gideon was at that
party and he was arrested.

Oh, my.

Then you think I
should go with the story?

Even if it is true, I...

I'm not sure the story is
right for a school newspaper.

Why not?

Well, because I think
you're in over your head.

This is a difficult subject

and it's better left to people
with more experience.

The boat may have
sailed on that, Mrs. Garrett.

I already printed the story.

Oh, Natalie!

The issue came out this morning.

Oh!

Then why did you
bother asking me?

Habit.

Thanks, thanks a lot.

I can't believe how
great this looks.

The headline practically
takes up the whole page.

"Teacher Busted..."

Don't remind me.

Come on! We're a sensation.

The whole school's
reading the paper.

I asked you not to remind me.

Terrific story, Jo.

There's never been anything
like it in the school paper.

Yeah. All in a day's work.

Who would've thought our
Mr. Gideon would be involved in drugs?

And you uncovered it.

Honestly, Jo,
you're a celebrity.

Come on.

Just between us, how did you
ever find out about Mr. Gideon?

I've got my sources.

Even if I had found out,

I'm not sure if I
would have reported it.

I mean, he is a teacher.

That's true, but...

It was a gutsy
call, but I made it.

In the business of news,
there is no room for cowards.

Well, if it isn't Lois Lane
and her crusading editor.

Hi, guys.

Don't "Hi, guys" me.

The biggest news of the year and
I have to read about it in the paper.

Sorry, Tootie, but when
you got an exclusive,

you gotta keep it exclusive.

Do I look like a
security leak to you?

Yes. Yes.

Okay. All I wanted
was an answer.

Well, Jo, I hope you're
satisfied with your hatchet job.

I didn't need a hatchet.

Haven't you ever heard the
pen is mightier than the sword?

Especially when
it's dipped in blood.

Hey, Mrs. G. What's shaking?

The whole campus,
thanks to your story.

That's all anybody
can talk about.

We noticed.

Look, I know I
stepped on some toes

and you probably feel sorry...

I'd feel sorry for anyone who
was unfairly treated by the press.

Did she say unfairly?

Look, Gideon was
arrested and I reported it.

Mr. Gideon was
arrested, that's true.

But he was released
one hour later.

There was no evidence
that he had used cocaine.

I'm getting that
sick feeling again.

The police didn't
even press charges.

But I didn't read
that in your story.

Neither did I.

Look, I talked to the police, and
they didn't say anything about that.

Did you ask?

Did you check with the
city attorney for details?

Did you go to Mr. Gideon
and get his side of it?

Jo, you're dealing with
a man's professional life.

It's not a time to be careless.

Yeah, Jo!

And what about you? You're
the editor. You're in this.

Dragged in, towed
in... Locked in.

As the editor, you
made the final decision.

Where's Robert Redford
when I need him?

No, I bullied her.

It's my story.

It's my responsibility.

If you're busy or
something, I can come back.

No, I said my door
was always open.

I guess you know why I'm here.

A lynching?

I came to apologize.

Mrs. Garrett told
me what happened

about the cops releasing
you and not pressing charges.

Oh, that.

Look, I made a
mistake. I admit it.

I missed some facts.

Okay, some important facts.

What do you want me to say?

I didn't go far enough?
Or maybe I went too far?

Go ahead. Sue me for libel.

Libel?

I'd have to prove you wrote
that story with malicious intent.

That wouldn't be too tough.

Why?

Because you ride
me all the time.

You criticize everything I do.

You know, no one likes
to be told they're a dummy.

Is that what you think I've been
saying to you all these months?

It's pretty obvious.

You rip apart a story
I've been slaving over

and then you go ape when
Blair reports on a hemline change.

To Blair, journalism is the hour

between breakfast
and English Lit.

I know what it means to you.

It's exciting for a teacher to
see real potential in a student.

I ask more from you so that
you'll ask more from yourself.

Are you telling me
you like my stuff?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

Why don't you tell me how we
got on opposite sides of the fence?

I don't know.

When somebody pushes
me, I don't think why.

I just push back.

Look, I'm sorry.

I know my story
embarrassed you...

Embarrassed?

My God, Jo,

a rip in my pants
is embarrassed.

Look, I'm angry with myself.

When I saw what was
going on at that party,

I should've left.

It was my mistake.

What are you doing?

Packing.

Could you hand me those folders?

You moving offices?

I'm leaving school.

Did they fire you? No.

No, they asked me to resign.

It's for the good of the school.

Funny, that's what they
said when they hired me.

But this is crazy!

They can't push
you out of school

because of some
stupid article that I wrote.

You gotta do something.

I am.

Going back to Boston.

Try to get work
on a paper again.

What about teaching?

No, I don't think so.

No, not for a while.

Most schools have
an aversion to hiring

a "Teacher Busted
in Cocaine Raid."

I'll print a follow up story
and it'll explain everything.

And change nothing.

Well, if that is not
enough, we'll get a petition.

Is that my stapler
or the school's?

We'll get 1000
signatures to sign it,

and we'll take it to the school
board and demand that they...

No, Jo,

this isn't something
that you can fix.

Okay?

But it's my fault.

I got to do something.

Then help me pack.

♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪

♪ And enjoy the fun of
managing the facts of life ♪

♪ They shed a lot of light ♪

♪ If you hear them
from your brother ♪

♪ Better clear them
with your mother ♪

♪ Better get them right,
call her late at night ♪

♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪

♪ All you got to do to get
you through is understand ♪

♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪

♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪