The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 3, Episode 4 - A Friend in Deed - full transcript
Blair's mother arrives on a surprise visit and Blair is ecstatic until dire news is revealed about her mother's health.
♪
♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take them both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you got to
go and show you're growing ♪
♪ And now you know
about the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get them right ♪
♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
Jo, you've been scrubbing
the same spot for 15 minutes.
I don't think I've
ever seen it cleaner.
I just had another one
of my brilliant ideas.
If you move your feet while
you're moving that mop,
we just might get out
of here before noon.
Could you tell Cinderella here to
go stick her head in a pumpkin?
Hey, Jo, relax.
I'm relaxed, I'm relaxed.
I'm not relaxed.
You're just a little tense.
Uh, excited about
your job interview.
Are you sure you wanna give
up your Saturday afternoons
to go to work in a
motorcycle shop?
I wouldn't be going to work,
I'd be going to heaven.
Imagine me in a
room full of bikes,
running my hands over them,
watching them gleam in the sun,
trying them on for size.
I feel the same way when I
spend the day at Tiffany's.
Jo, the job is yours. I
checked your horoscope.
Yeah? Great.
Natalie, don't give
her false hope.
Who in their right mind would
buy a motorcycle from this girl?
Oh, I would.
Do they come with
training wheels?
Mrs. Garrett, a salesperson
needs warmth, style, charisma.
All Jo has is bluster
and a good left hook.
I'll get it. I'm sure
that's my mom.
She promised to call as
soon as she got her face-lift.
But how can she talk
through all those bandages?
It sounds awful.
It's like that movie,
The Invisible Man.
What if Mrs. Warner
takes off her bandages
and there's nothing there?
Or she ends up
with the head of a fly.
Girls, Blair's mother is having
a face-lift, not a transplant.
Well, whatever it is,
I think it's fabulous.
I'm saving all my money
for an everything job.
False alarm. It
was for my cousin.
The Moose Lodge wants her
to add 15 minutes to her act
because Norma and Her
Trained Birds cancelled.
I'd better tell her.
Aw, let Geri sleep.
You can give her the news
when she comes down.
Okay.
I'm telling you, Blair,
pretty soon getting a face-lift
will be like going
to McDonald's.
You'd drive up and say,
"I deserve a lift today."
It's all baloney.
They don't call it plastic
surgery for nothing.
You're old, you're
ugly, you live with it.
You are what you are
and that's good enough.
Well, in your
case, it has to be.
Oh, it is too bad I can't
get a personality lift.
Oh, but you can.
They call it a lobotomy.
Look, don't worry
about your interview.
You're perfect for the job.
I don't even know what to wear.
Why don't you ask
Blair for advice?
That was just a suggestion, Jo.
Morning, everybody.
Hey, Geri.
Mrs. Garrett just told me
the bird act was cancelled.
I'm going to need
some more material.
Gosh, I wish I
could do something
besides those old
cerebral palsy jokes tonight.
Hey, I got a joke!
What do you get when you
cross Saudi Arabia and Mexico?
What? What?
Oil of o le.
Well, maybe I can think of
a new cerebral palsy joke.
If I'm interrupting
something, I hope it's a party.
Mother!
What are you doing here?
Oh, girls! You look wonderful!
Isn't she supposed to
look like the mummy?
Hey, Mrs. Warner,
what a surprise!
Mrs. Garrett.
Wow, talk about a fast healer.
Oh, I decided to
postpone my face-lift.
Mother, you were
looking forward to it.
I was looking forward to it.
So was I.
Oh, I know. But when
I got to the hospital
everything was green.
The walls, the gown, the food.
Green is not my best color.
Besides, I just wanted you all to
have one last look at me the way I am.
I suppose you think this
face-lift business is silly.
Oh, not at all.
If it makes you feel better
about yourself, I'm all for it.
I just had another one
of my brilliant ideas.
It's perfect shopping weather.
Oh, Mrs. Garrett,
could I steal Blair
away for this afternoon?
Well, I... I...
Please! Think I can spare her.
Thank you, Mrs. Garrett.
Mother, I have so much
to talk to you about.
How's Randy, the
love of your life?
Randy, who?
Ah, you took my advice.
They sound like girlfriends.
Does your mother
talk to you like that?
Are you kidding?
If the words "math test"
aren't in the first sentence,
my mother doesn't
consider it a conversation.
Right.
Well, I gotta put this
away. I hate ironing!
Is it as dreary as it looks?
Worse.
Well, actually, it's
not the ironing I hate,
it's the folding and the unfolding
of the board that kills me.
Oh, come on, darling,
we have just enough time
for some good
shopping before lunch.
Oh, I'll get my stuff
and be right down.
Uh, Blair, listen, um, I don't
know what to wear to my interview.
Do you think you could...
Um, I mean I could use...
Help?
I'm sorry, I didn't
quite hear that.
No, go ahead, feel free to beg.
You're really busting
my chops, aren't you?
Yeah!
Come on, we'll see if we can
find you something suitable,
or just clean.
Don't be too long, honey.
I won't.
Geri, I hear you are playing
The Moose Lodge tonight.
Uh, last week it was the
Elks, next week, the Lions.
I guess it's a real
jungle out there, huh?
Aunt Monica. Mmm-hmm.
You told Blair that you
were going in the hospital
for a face-lift.
That's right.
My mother told me the truth.
What truth?
About the test.
She had no right to do that.
Boy, my sister could
never keep her mouth shut!
She was worried and
she needed to tell me.
Don't you think you
should tell Blair? No!
But Monica... But nothing, Geri!
It's none of your damn business!
I'm sorry, honey.
I... I... I just can't think
about the test, okay?
I just can't talk
about it right now.
If you didn't want my
advice, why did you ask me?
Temporary insanity.
Please, honey.
I just thought she
might want to go
to her interview
looking like a girl.
My mistake. Come on, Mom.
See you later, Geri.
Bye-bye, darling.
You know, I think it's time
we refurbished your wardrobe.
New underwear, shoes,
maybe a new fur coat?
A new fur coat? Mother!
Wow, you and your
mother bought up a storm!
I'll say. When we finished,
Harrison's Department Store
looked like a cyclone hit it.
I'll get it.
You should have seen what
happened at lunch. Hello?
Two boys from Bates
tried to pick us up.
Oh, yeah, yeah. One second.
Blair, it's for you.
A Dr. Wyman.
Yeah. They just couldn't believe
my mother wasn't my sister.
Hello. Dr. Sid!
Fine. How are you?
I bet you say that to all the
girls you brought into this world.
Yes, Mother's up here.
At the Fireside Inn in town.
No, I had no idea
she'd be coming up.
But I guess after that
ordeal at the hospital,
she needed to get away.
Yes. Yes, I'm still here.
Someone just came in.
Yes.
Yes. Yes, I will.
Dr. Sid?
Nothing. Thank you. Bye.
Blair.
What is it?
He thought I knew.
Knew what?
When I talked
about the hospital,
he thought I knew.
There was never
going to be a face-lift.
Mrs. Garrett...
What is it, Blair?
She was in the hospital.
She had a biopsy.
She has a tumor in her breast.
Blair, shouldn't
you be getting ready
to meet your mother for dinner?
I'm not going.
Blair, you can't avoid her.
You can't pretend you
don't know about the biopsy.
Mrs. Garrett, I can't face her.
I don't know what to say to her.
Well, you two talk about
everything together, don't you?
Yes.
No.
I mean, I thought we
did. But this is so...
Well, it's not something you
just slip in in the small talk
"Did you know, Marcie's
having another affair,
"the Gibsons are
getting divorced,
"and I hear you
may have cancer."
Blair, it may not be
as bad as it seems.
Maybe the lump in
her breast is benign.
But what if it's
not, Mrs. Garrett?
I know what's
important to my mother.
Her face, her clothes,
the way she looks.
The way she looks, Mrs. Garrett!
I can't talk to her about that.
And besides, she lied about it.
She obviously doesn't want...
Blair, are you okay?
Look, I'm sorry I was there
when the doctor called.
And I'm sorry I
know what I know.
But I know and I can't
pretend I don't know.
Yeah, and by now,
so does half the school.
Blair, that's not fair.
I'm not that kind of jerk.
We know that, Tootie.
Thanks, Mrs. Garrett, but
I want to hear it from Blair.
Blair, this isn't gossip.
I know that.
And I won't say a word about it.
To anyone.
I swear it.
On our friendship.
A clock, I need a clock.
Mrs. Garrett, I'm
taking your egg timer.
Okay... Jo, wait!
And a fuse. I need a fuse.
Oh, good. And I'll mix up
some stuff in the science lab.
What are you making? A bomb?
Yes! Yes!
What?
I'm gonna roll it
through their front door
and then, pow! Boy, pow!
Dead Kawasakis
all over the street.
I take it you
didn't get the job.
May I have those
matches, please?
That's right! I did
not get the job!
Did anybody miss
that? I did not get the job!
Go ahead, Blair, hit
me with your best shot.
Go ahead.
Oh, Blair.
You can do better than that.
What's wrong with her?
Who knows?
Maybe she chipped her
nail polish or something.
You know how that depresses her.
Come on, Nat, let's go
get a candy bar. My treat.
Okay.
Keep your eye on the mad bomber.
I don't know what I did wrong.
Maybe Blair was right.
Maybe it is my clothes.
Your shoes and belt
match. What else matters?
You see, Jo? You look just fine.
Well, I feel rotten.
Face it, Blair's right.
I have a personality problem.
I'm pushy and irritating
and definitely
lacking in charisma.
Wrong attitude.
That, too?
Don't you know that when
somebody doesn't want you,
that's their problem.
You really believe that?
Jo, you said it
yourself this morning.
"You are what you are."
And if that's not good
enough, they can just...
Blow it out their crank-case?
Yeah.
Well said.
Yeah, well, I knew that.
But thanks for reminding me.
You know, Blair, you...
You are what you are
and that's good enough for me.
You were wonderful,
what you did for Jo.
What did I do?
You really helped her.
How?
I didn't solve her problem.
And I didn't tell her anything
she didn't already know.
You were there for her.
That's all anyone
needs from a friend.
I guess.
Why can't you do the
same for your mother?
Mrs. Garrett, that's different.
She's my mother.
Yeah, I know.
It's hard to think of your
parents as just people.
I remember the first
time I saw my father cry.
It frightened me so.
But it was the turning point
for both of us.
I think that's when I
really started to grow up.
Hi, honey.
I'm not quite ready.
Just need five minutes, though.
Say, what do you
think about Hawaii?
What?
Why don't you and I run
off to Hawaii together, huh?
Oh, it'd only take
a couple weeks.
You know, you can take
your schoolwork with you.
Oh, well, we'd miss
Bunny's wedding. Ha!
Well, she won't mind
it, I made the other five.
So, what do you say?
What are you doing?
You're not going
to Hawaii, Mother.
You're going back to the city.
Why? Bunny can get
married without me.
Mother, stop it.
Stop what?
You know, Blair, y-you're
just crinkling my crepe.
I can't take this anymore!
The shoes, on the
bottom! The shoes...
Who cares about
your stupid shoes!
You've got to get
back to the city!
You've got to get the
results of your biopsy!
I have the damn results!
Oh...
Who told you?
Not the person who should have.
Did Dr. Sid call you?
What did he say?
Tell me the truth.
He said that he didn't want to
give the results over the telephone.
I said, "Well, I know what that
means, Sid. That's bad news."
They never mind giving you
good news over the telephone.
Oh, God, he
couldn't wait to tell me
when I was pregnant with you.
They never mind giving you
good news over the phone.
It's all right, Mom.
It'll be all right.
No, it won't. It's never
going to be all right again.
What do you have to do now?
Well, I don't know.
Sid wants me to
come in and talk.
"Hey, Monica, calm down,
it's not the end of the world."
Oh, God.
How does he know
where my world ends!
Mother, I wish I could
say some magic word
and make it all...
But you can't run
away from this, Mother.
You've got to find out
how they can help you.
Help me?
It is not going to help me
by cutting off my breast.
They may not
have to do that. Oh!
It's not that automatic anymore.
There are so many other
ways of treating this kind of
cancer.
Oh, Blair, I wanted
to spare you this.
I didn't want you to worry.
You're my baby.
I'm supposed to
take care of you.
You can't take care
of me if you're not here.
I won't let you put
this off, Mother.
I don't want to lose you.
Well, I can't believe this.
What happened
to that little girl
who used to hide in the bathroom
when her hair
didn't curl just right?
Oh, I still do that.
But I don't hide
from everything.
You know, we Warner women are a
lot stronger than people think we are.
Yeah, I'd like to believe that.
I keep asking myself,
"What would Bette Davis do?"
I know what she'd do.
She'd light up a cigarette.
But I quit smoking.
Boy, that's a laugh.
Oh, God!
Oh, honey, I'm so scared.
I know. Me, too.
Maybe we could use
the buddy system.
You know, like in swimming?
When you feel like
you're going under,
hang on to me.
I don't swim.
Chlorine in the water
turns my hair orange.
Hang on to me anyway.
I can be a good
friend, you know.
Even Jo says that,
and she hates my guts.
Honey, we are good friends.
I don't think so, Mom.
I think what we are is
playmates.
I mean, we gossip.
Boy, do we gossip.
And we talk about
clothes and men.
But we don't talk
about things like
life
and death.
Blair, that's not fair.
Face it, Mother,
what we have
is a deep superficial
relationship.
Oh.
God.
Friends, huh?
Well,
how do we start?
After all these years,
why don't you tell me
what I can do for you?
I'll just take more of what
you're doing right now.
I promise you, Mother,
we'll get through
this thing together.
You really are a
beautiful young woman.
'Cause I look like you.
Oh, no, no, no. I wasn't
talking about your face.
I'm glad that you're here.
Will you stay with me awhile?
For as long as you need me.
♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪
♪ And enjoy the fun of
managing the facts of life ♪
♪ They shed a lot of light ♪
♪ If you hear them
from your brother ♪
♪ Better clear them
with your mother ♪
♪ Better get them right,
call her late at night ♪
♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪
♪ All you got to do to get
you through is understand ♪
♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪
♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take them both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you got to
go and show you're growing ♪
♪ And now you know
about the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get them right ♪
♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
Jo, you've been scrubbing
the same spot for 15 minutes.
I don't think I've
ever seen it cleaner.
I just had another one
of my brilliant ideas.
If you move your feet while
you're moving that mop,
we just might get out
of here before noon.
Could you tell Cinderella here to
go stick her head in a pumpkin?
Hey, Jo, relax.
I'm relaxed, I'm relaxed.
I'm not relaxed.
You're just a little tense.
Uh, excited about
your job interview.
Are you sure you wanna give
up your Saturday afternoons
to go to work in a
motorcycle shop?
I wouldn't be going to work,
I'd be going to heaven.
Imagine me in a
room full of bikes,
running my hands over them,
watching them gleam in the sun,
trying them on for size.
I feel the same way when I
spend the day at Tiffany's.
Jo, the job is yours. I
checked your horoscope.
Yeah? Great.
Natalie, don't give
her false hope.
Who in their right mind would
buy a motorcycle from this girl?
Oh, I would.
Do they come with
training wheels?
Mrs. Garrett, a salesperson
needs warmth, style, charisma.
All Jo has is bluster
and a good left hook.
I'll get it. I'm sure
that's my mom.
She promised to call as
soon as she got her face-lift.
But how can she talk
through all those bandages?
It sounds awful.
It's like that movie,
The Invisible Man.
What if Mrs. Warner
takes off her bandages
and there's nothing there?
Or she ends up
with the head of a fly.
Girls, Blair's mother is having
a face-lift, not a transplant.
Well, whatever it is,
I think it's fabulous.
I'm saving all my money
for an everything job.
False alarm. It
was for my cousin.
The Moose Lodge wants her
to add 15 minutes to her act
because Norma and Her
Trained Birds cancelled.
I'd better tell her.
Aw, let Geri sleep.
You can give her the news
when she comes down.
Okay.
I'm telling you, Blair,
pretty soon getting a face-lift
will be like going
to McDonald's.
You'd drive up and say,
"I deserve a lift today."
It's all baloney.
They don't call it plastic
surgery for nothing.
You're old, you're
ugly, you live with it.
You are what you are
and that's good enough.
Well, in your
case, it has to be.
Oh, it is too bad I can't
get a personality lift.
Oh, but you can.
They call it a lobotomy.
Look, don't worry
about your interview.
You're perfect for the job.
I don't even know what to wear.
Why don't you ask
Blair for advice?
That was just a suggestion, Jo.
Morning, everybody.
Hey, Geri.
Mrs. Garrett just told me
the bird act was cancelled.
I'm going to need
some more material.
Gosh, I wish I
could do something
besides those old
cerebral palsy jokes tonight.
Hey, I got a joke!
What do you get when you
cross Saudi Arabia and Mexico?
What? What?
Oil of o le.
Well, maybe I can think of
a new cerebral palsy joke.
If I'm interrupting
something, I hope it's a party.
Mother!
What are you doing here?
Oh, girls! You look wonderful!
Isn't she supposed to
look like the mummy?
Hey, Mrs. Warner,
what a surprise!
Mrs. Garrett.
Wow, talk about a fast healer.
Oh, I decided to
postpone my face-lift.
Mother, you were
looking forward to it.
I was looking forward to it.
So was I.
Oh, I know. But when
I got to the hospital
everything was green.
The walls, the gown, the food.
Green is not my best color.
Besides, I just wanted you all to
have one last look at me the way I am.
I suppose you think this
face-lift business is silly.
Oh, not at all.
If it makes you feel better
about yourself, I'm all for it.
I just had another one
of my brilliant ideas.
It's perfect shopping weather.
Oh, Mrs. Garrett,
could I steal Blair
away for this afternoon?
Well, I... I...
Please! Think I can spare her.
Thank you, Mrs. Garrett.
Mother, I have so much
to talk to you about.
How's Randy, the
love of your life?
Randy, who?
Ah, you took my advice.
They sound like girlfriends.
Does your mother
talk to you like that?
Are you kidding?
If the words "math test"
aren't in the first sentence,
my mother doesn't
consider it a conversation.
Right.
Well, I gotta put this
away. I hate ironing!
Is it as dreary as it looks?
Worse.
Well, actually, it's
not the ironing I hate,
it's the folding and the unfolding
of the board that kills me.
Oh, come on, darling,
we have just enough time
for some good
shopping before lunch.
Oh, I'll get my stuff
and be right down.
Uh, Blair, listen, um, I don't
know what to wear to my interview.
Do you think you could...
Um, I mean I could use...
Help?
I'm sorry, I didn't
quite hear that.
No, go ahead, feel free to beg.
You're really busting
my chops, aren't you?
Yeah!
Come on, we'll see if we can
find you something suitable,
or just clean.
Don't be too long, honey.
I won't.
Geri, I hear you are playing
The Moose Lodge tonight.
Uh, last week it was the
Elks, next week, the Lions.
I guess it's a real
jungle out there, huh?
Aunt Monica. Mmm-hmm.
You told Blair that you
were going in the hospital
for a face-lift.
That's right.
My mother told me the truth.
What truth?
About the test.
She had no right to do that.
Boy, my sister could
never keep her mouth shut!
She was worried and
she needed to tell me.
Don't you think you
should tell Blair? No!
But Monica... But nothing, Geri!
It's none of your damn business!
I'm sorry, honey.
I... I... I just can't think
about the test, okay?
I just can't talk
about it right now.
If you didn't want my
advice, why did you ask me?
Temporary insanity.
Please, honey.
I just thought she
might want to go
to her interview
looking like a girl.
My mistake. Come on, Mom.
See you later, Geri.
Bye-bye, darling.
You know, I think it's time
we refurbished your wardrobe.
New underwear, shoes,
maybe a new fur coat?
A new fur coat? Mother!
Wow, you and your
mother bought up a storm!
I'll say. When we finished,
Harrison's Department Store
looked like a cyclone hit it.
I'll get it.
You should have seen what
happened at lunch. Hello?
Two boys from Bates
tried to pick us up.
Oh, yeah, yeah. One second.
Blair, it's for you.
A Dr. Wyman.
Yeah. They just couldn't believe
my mother wasn't my sister.
Hello. Dr. Sid!
Fine. How are you?
I bet you say that to all the
girls you brought into this world.
Yes, Mother's up here.
At the Fireside Inn in town.
No, I had no idea
she'd be coming up.
But I guess after that
ordeal at the hospital,
she needed to get away.
Yes. Yes, I'm still here.
Someone just came in.
Yes.
Yes. Yes, I will.
Dr. Sid?
Nothing. Thank you. Bye.
Blair.
What is it?
He thought I knew.
Knew what?
When I talked
about the hospital,
he thought I knew.
There was never
going to be a face-lift.
Mrs. Garrett...
What is it, Blair?
She was in the hospital.
She had a biopsy.
She has a tumor in her breast.
Blair, shouldn't
you be getting ready
to meet your mother for dinner?
I'm not going.
Blair, you can't avoid her.
You can't pretend you
don't know about the biopsy.
Mrs. Garrett, I can't face her.
I don't know what to say to her.
Well, you two talk about
everything together, don't you?
Yes.
No.
I mean, I thought we
did. But this is so...
Well, it's not something you
just slip in in the small talk
"Did you know, Marcie's
having another affair,
"the Gibsons are
getting divorced,
"and I hear you
may have cancer."
Blair, it may not be
as bad as it seems.
Maybe the lump in
her breast is benign.
But what if it's
not, Mrs. Garrett?
I know what's
important to my mother.
Her face, her clothes,
the way she looks.
The way she looks, Mrs. Garrett!
I can't talk to her about that.
And besides, she lied about it.
She obviously doesn't want...
Blair, are you okay?
Look, I'm sorry I was there
when the doctor called.
And I'm sorry I
know what I know.
But I know and I can't
pretend I don't know.
Yeah, and by now,
so does half the school.
Blair, that's not fair.
I'm not that kind of jerk.
We know that, Tootie.
Thanks, Mrs. Garrett, but
I want to hear it from Blair.
Blair, this isn't gossip.
I know that.
And I won't say a word about it.
To anyone.
I swear it.
On our friendship.
A clock, I need a clock.
Mrs. Garrett, I'm
taking your egg timer.
Okay... Jo, wait!
And a fuse. I need a fuse.
Oh, good. And I'll mix up
some stuff in the science lab.
What are you making? A bomb?
Yes! Yes!
What?
I'm gonna roll it
through their front door
and then, pow! Boy, pow!
Dead Kawasakis
all over the street.
I take it you
didn't get the job.
May I have those
matches, please?
That's right! I did
not get the job!
Did anybody miss
that? I did not get the job!
Go ahead, Blair, hit
me with your best shot.
Go ahead.
Oh, Blair.
You can do better than that.
What's wrong with her?
Who knows?
Maybe she chipped her
nail polish or something.
You know how that depresses her.
Come on, Nat, let's go
get a candy bar. My treat.
Okay.
Keep your eye on the mad bomber.
I don't know what I did wrong.
Maybe Blair was right.
Maybe it is my clothes.
Your shoes and belt
match. What else matters?
You see, Jo? You look just fine.
Well, I feel rotten.
Face it, Blair's right.
I have a personality problem.
I'm pushy and irritating
and definitely
lacking in charisma.
Wrong attitude.
That, too?
Don't you know that when
somebody doesn't want you,
that's their problem.
You really believe that?
Jo, you said it
yourself this morning.
"You are what you are."
And if that's not good
enough, they can just...
Blow it out their crank-case?
Yeah.
Well said.
Yeah, well, I knew that.
But thanks for reminding me.
You know, Blair, you...
You are what you are
and that's good enough for me.
You were wonderful,
what you did for Jo.
What did I do?
You really helped her.
How?
I didn't solve her problem.
And I didn't tell her anything
she didn't already know.
You were there for her.
That's all anyone
needs from a friend.
I guess.
Why can't you do the
same for your mother?
Mrs. Garrett, that's different.
She's my mother.
Yeah, I know.
It's hard to think of your
parents as just people.
I remember the first
time I saw my father cry.
It frightened me so.
But it was the turning point
for both of us.
I think that's when I
really started to grow up.
Hi, honey.
I'm not quite ready.
Just need five minutes, though.
Say, what do you
think about Hawaii?
What?
Why don't you and I run
off to Hawaii together, huh?
Oh, it'd only take
a couple weeks.
You know, you can take
your schoolwork with you.
Oh, well, we'd miss
Bunny's wedding. Ha!
Well, she won't mind
it, I made the other five.
So, what do you say?
What are you doing?
You're not going
to Hawaii, Mother.
You're going back to the city.
Why? Bunny can get
married without me.
Mother, stop it.
Stop what?
You know, Blair, y-you're
just crinkling my crepe.
I can't take this anymore!
The shoes, on the
bottom! The shoes...
Who cares about
your stupid shoes!
You've got to get
back to the city!
You've got to get the
results of your biopsy!
I have the damn results!
Oh...
Who told you?
Not the person who should have.
Did Dr. Sid call you?
What did he say?
Tell me the truth.
He said that he didn't want to
give the results over the telephone.
I said, "Well, I know what that
means, Sid. That's bad news."
They never mind giving you
good news over the telephone.
Oh, God, he
couldn't wait to tell me
when I was pregnant with you.
They never mind giving you
good news over the phone.
It's all right, Mom.
It'll be all right.
No, it won't. It's never
going to be all right again.
What do you have to do now?
Well, I don't know.
Sid wants me to
come in and talk.
"Hey, Monica, calm down,
it's not the end of the world."
Oh, God.
How does he know
where my world ends!
Mother, I wish I could
say some magic word
and make it all...
But you can't run
away from this, Mother.
You've got to find out
how they can help you.
Help me?
It is not going to help me
by cutting off my breast.
They may not
have to do that. Oh!
It's not that automatic anymore.
There are so many other
ways of treating this kind of
cancer.
Oh, Blair, I wanted
to spare you this.
I didn't want you to worry.
You're my baby.
I'm supposed to
take care of you.
You can't take care
of me if you're not here.
I won't let you put
this off, Mother.
I don't want to lose you.
Well, I can't believe this.
What happened
to that little girl
who used to hide in the bathroom
when her hair
didn't curl just right?
Oh, I still do that.
But I don't hide
from everything.
You know, we Warner women are a
lot stronger than people think we are.
Yeah, I'd like to believe that.
I keep asking myself,
"What would Bette Davis do?"
I know what she'd do.
She'd light up a cigarette.
But I quit smoking.
Boy, that's a laugh.
Oh, God!
Oh, honey, I'm so scared.
I know. Me, too.
Maybe we could use
the buddy system.
You know, like in swimming?
When you feel like
you're going under,
hang on to me.
I don't swim.
Chlorine in the water
turns my hair orange.
Hang on to me anyway.
I can be a good
friend, you know.
Even Jo says that,
and she hates my guts.
Honey, we are good friends.
I don't think so, Mom.
I think what we are is
playmates.
I mean, we gossip.
Boy, do we gossip.
And we talk about
clothes and men.
But we don't talk
about things like
life
and death.
Blair, that's not fair.
Face it, Mother,
what we have
is a deep superficial
relationship.
Oh.
God.
Friends, huh?
Well,
how do we start?
After all these years,
why don't you tell me
what I can do for you?
I'll just take more of what
you're doing right now.
I promise you, Mother,
we'll get through
this thing together.
You really are a
beautiful young woman.
'Cause I look like you.
Oh, no, no, no. I wasn't
talking about your face.
I'm glad that you're here.
Will you stay with me awhile?
For as long as you need me.
♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪
♪ And enjoy the fun of
managing the facts of life ♪
♪ They shed a lot of light ♪
♪ If you hear them
from your brother ♪
♪ Better clear them
with your mother ♪
♪ Better get them right,
call her late at night ♪
♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪
♪ All you got to do to get
you through is understand ♪
♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪
♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪