The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 3, Episode 2 - Fear Strikes Back - full transcript
Natalie withdraws from her life after an attempted sexual assault.
♪
♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take them both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you got to
go and show you're growing ♪
♪ And now you know
about the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get them right ♪
♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
Aren't you going through a lot of
trouble just for a costume party?
I mean, what do you win anyway?
First prize is two tickets to the Bruce
Springsteen concert in New York.
Springsteen!
Good little singer.
I'm telling you,
it's not my fault.
He was just about to ask me,
when you descended on us.
I was riding by.
And besides, the
sidewalk is public property.
You scared him off.
Scared who?
Michael Sampson.
From Bates?
Try heaven.
I know him. He's on the
rugby team. He's so studly.
It's nice to know your
hormones are functioning.
And he was going to be mine for
the party, if it hadn't been for you.
What did I do?
He was up to "Blair, would
you like to go to the..."
when you practically ran
him over him with your hopper.
The word's chopper.
Hopper, chopper,
what's the difference?
I can't help it if he goes
speechless every time he sees me.
Face it, Blair, it's just
some kind of "animal" thing.
Gee, I thought you had
that mange under control.
Well, at least I saved him
from being railroaded into a date.
Hey, what movie stars are
you guys going to the party as?
Only the most dynamic woman
in the world today, Jane Fonda.
Jane Fonda?
Why are you going as Jane Fonda?
Because she's committed, she's
dedicated, and she's liberated,
like me.
Besides, someone was
already going as Bo Derek.
You can't go as Jane Fonda.
Why? Who are you going as?
Peter Fonda.
A brother and sister act.
Look out.
You realize, of course, you'll
have to pick someone else.
Not on your life.
I've already got my
leather jacket, my boots,
and come this Friday
night, I'll be Easy Rider.
You can't go as Peter
Fonda. He's a man.
She was always
a whiz at biology.
It's not Peter Fonda.
It's what he represents.
Bikes, freedom...
Filth.
Mrs. Garrett, will
you tell Jo she simply
can't go to the party
dressed as Peter Fonda.
Girls, I have to talk to you.
What is it, Mrs. G?
Something's happened in town.
You all know Mrs. King.
Sure. The
headmaster's secretary.
Yeah. This evening,
on her way to her car,
a man attacked her.
She was raped.
You know something weird?
We all must've walked down
that same street a hundred times.
It's right in the
middle of town.
Do we have to talk about it?
Can't we just pretend
it didn't happen?
Oh, I don't think
we can do that, Blair.
Face it, Pollyanna, there's
a lot of crime around.
I know that.
I watch Hill Street Blues.
I don't want you girls to
panic about the situation.
The school is taking
every possible precaution.
Yeah. That's why all those
workmen were here this morning.
They're installing alarms.
You're telling me. I didn't realize
those things were so sensitive.
I slammed the refrigerator door
this morning and bells starting ringing,
I thought I'd won
the Secret Square.
But will alarms be enough?
Oh, it's not just alarms, Blair.
They're arranging for closed-circuit
television, electric gates...
I know all about
these precautions.
They may keep a few people out,
but mostly they lock people in.
Okay, everybody. Get ready!
Natalie, you look fabulous.
Yeah. You're gonna
bring that party to its knees.
Well, if there is a party.
If?
They're considering
cancelling the party.
They can't cancel it. We've
been working on it for weeks.
I have personally
blown up 300 balloons.
Let's not get excited. I said they're
considering cancelling the party.
That doesn't make sense.
It's gonna be on campus.
Besides, whoever this guy
is, he's probably long gone.
I'm sure you're right. But I
still want you girls to be careful.
Maybe we should
just stop living.
Have you guys seen the new
notice on the bulletin board?
You mean the one about
National Succotash Week?
I think she means the one
about the women's safety course.
The school is arranging
for a series of classes
and I've offered the
use of the cafeteria.
They're gonna
teach self-defense?
Mei Hua defense is part
of it. Anybody interested?
Not me.
I have this silly aversion to being
hurled over someone's shoulders.
But who knows? Maybe you'll get
a chance to do some of the hurling.
Ah, then count me in.
I like to mix it up a little.
Ah! All right. Sign right here.
How about you, Blair?
I have the perfect
thing to wear.
You know that karate outfit I
bought right after I saw Shogun.
Yeah, yeah, the one with the little
alligator on it committing hara-kiri.
It was so humiliating,
Mrs. Garrett.
Just imagine, 14 Diana
Rosses in the same room.
And two of them were white.
I wish they'd gone ahead and
cancelled the party anyhow.
Well, for someone who had such a
terrible time, you sure stayed long enough.
I would have been
home a lot sooner,
but my dress is so tight it
took me an hour to hop home.
That was absolutely,
without question,
the worst party I
have ever been to.
Did I lie?
What happened, Blair?
Oh, nothing. Just that all my
illusions have been smashed.
I believed, I expected, that
Michael Sampson had a little taste,
a little breeding,
a little sensitivity.
In other words, he dumped her.
Just for the record, he wasn't exactly
beating a path to your door either.
Well, how could he?
Every time he got within 10 feet of me,
you waltzed by and handed him a pamphlet.
I was playing Jane Fonda.
That pamphlet contained
relevant information.
Yeah, "No nukes"
and her phone number.
Yeah, when I left, Mike was
cheek to cheek with Julie Sable.
That jerk.
She came as Sophia Loren.
She won first prize.
All she did was stand around
speaking Italian and acting dumb.
I could never have done that.
No, you would have had
trouble with the Italian.
Oh, I'll bet Natalie
was disappointed.
She was kind of
counting on winning.
Actually, she took it pretty well.
- Yeah?
Yeah, after we pried her hands
from the judge's throat, she was fine.
She must have gotten over it, 'cause
she was having a great time when I left.
Well, this whole evening
has just been too formidable.
I'm going to bed.
Well, what do you say, Diana?
Think it's time to hop upstairs?
Natalie?
What happened?
I was coming home. And I
knew it was late so I was hurrying.
I wasn't far, Mrs. Garrett.
I was almost home.
Natalie, what happened?
A man grabbed me and I tried to
scream, but he covered my mouth.
Oh, my God!
He pushed me down and
he was holding me down,
and all of a sudden I
heard people's voices.
He must have heard them, too, 'cause
he just got up and left and ran away.
Natalie.
Mrs. Garrett, if those
people hadn't passed by...
It's all right, it's all right.
Mrs. Garrett, I was almost home.
Well, Blair, the taco
shells are ready.
Did you finish
grating the cheese?
Uh-huh.
I might have
liked it a little finer.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Garrett.
It's just I can hardly
keep my eyes open.
I've been up almost every
night with Natalie this week.
We've all been up with her. Those
nightmares of hers are getting worse.
Maybe she'll feel better
once the man is caught.
Caught? The chances of
finding that creep are zilch.
Jo, the police are doing
everything they can.
Mrs. Garrett, last night Natalie woke
me up to walk her to the bathroom.
That's just down the hall!
Blair, a dark hallway
can be very threatening
after an experience
like Natalie's.
It's not just the dark she's
afraid of. It's everything.
Natalie just doesn't
seem like Natalie anymore.
She's lost her,
her... Joie de vivre.
Yeah, all the joie's
gone out of her vivre.
Natalie just realized
how vulnerable she is.
Up until now, she thought
she had control over her life,
that nothing could touch her.
But something did.
And now she's afraid.
Well, if it were
me, I'd be angry.
So is Natalie, inside.
You know, when I was a little
kid, my dad said to me, he says,
"There are people in this
world who get shoved around
"and there are people
who do the shovin'."
"Jo," he says,
"you do the shovin'."
Words to live by.
As it happens, I've come up with something
guaranteed to lift Natalie's spirits.
Four tickets to the Bruce
Springsteen concert Saturday night.
That's wonderful.
Hey, how'd you do that?
Ah, no, don't tell
me. "Money talks."
In this case, it screamed.
I figured the concert would
take Natalie's mind off things.
That was very
thoughtful of you, Blair.
Yeah, thoughtful and generous.
I hate it when you're noble.
It almost makes me like you.
Boy, Natalie. The next time you
ask me to walk home with you,
make sure I wear my track shoes.
It was getting dark.
At noon?
You're right.
Uh, you never know when a total
eclipse is just going to sneak up on you.
Sure, you can make jokes.
But I've had my eyes
opened. I know my limitations.
I don't think any of you realize
what it means to be a woman.
You're kidding, of course.
It means that you're weak and helpless
and you don't have a chance out there.
I wonder how much
a sex change costs.
Tootie.
You know, Natalie has a point.
We all bear the burden of
being attractive and feminine.
Well, almost all of us.
Girls, attractiveness is not
what these attacks are about.
Enough of this depressing talk.
Natalie, have I
got news for you.
Four tickets to the Bruce
Springsteen concert Saturday night.
We're all going.
Oh, wow! Get
ready to rock and roll!
Springsteen? That concert's
been sold out for months.
I can't believe I'm
gonna see him in person.
It's all set. We'll take
the train to New York...
Hey, if we get there early
enough, we can walk around
and soak up all the atmosphere.
And I know this Italian
place that has great scungilli.
Hey, we can hang around
Times Square and people watch.
The night, the
lights, the noise.
I'm not going.
You don't have to
have the scungilli.
Natalie, what is it?
I don't want to see
Springsteen if I have to go out.
Well, I don't think
Bruce'll come here.
Look, you can all go to the city
and pretend like nothing's happened,
but I can't. I know
what's out there.
The world's out there,
Natalie. Remember the world?
You used to like it.
I'm not going!
I'm just not going!
I was reading.
Yeah, you've been doing
a lot of reading lately.
Interesting book?
It's Walden, by Thoreau.
Oh, Walden and
I are old friends.
The first time I read that book,
I remember thinking how
much Walden Pond reminded me
of my home in
Appleton, Wisconsin.
You know, the green hillsides.
Let me try to
remember that line.
"Lakes like gossamer
"gleaming against
the pine trees."
Oh, Appleton had
that same peaceful,
uncomplicated life.
I bet everybody in your
town knew everybody else,
and you never even
bothered locking your door.
You're right.
And you were never afraid.
Oh, I was afraid.
Especially of the lightning.
Lightning has nothing to do with a
man coming at you from the bushes.
Of course not, Natalie.
But fear is fear and
has to be overcome.
Natalie, you don't really want to
hide behind a locked door all your life?
I'll play it by ear.
Come with me to the
safety class tonight.
Why should I?
Because you'll be
doing something.
You feel helpless, right?
Then take some
action. Help yourself.
Mrs. Garrett, I just
want to finish my book.
All right.
Of course, I hope you realize
you're shirking your responsibility.
What responsibility?
Oh, this safety class coming to
Eastland is a very important event.
Shouldn't someone be
covering it for the school paper?
Jo can do it.
Oh, no, she's one of the
students in the class tonight.
The way I see it, it's your job.
You're the journalist.
So journal.
Take a look around the room.
Statistics say that about half of you
will be the victim of a serious crime
sometime in your life.
Oh, that's right, giggle.
But it could happen to you.
It doesn't have to though.
Not if you don't go
around like a victim.
Hi.
Hi.
Let me see you walk.
Just walk?
Just walk.
Okay.
So, um, how'd I do?
You were casual, relaxed.
In other words, lousy.
You look like a victim.
What if someone's
checking you out?
You want to look like
you can handle yourself.
Walk with confidence.
Maybe he'll pass you by.
Let me see someone who can
show little toughness, a little grit.
Grit. That's her middle name.
Mmm, I'm scared.
There you go.
I would definitely think
twice before approaching you.
I almost wish some
creep would try something.
I'd like to get in
one clean shot.
Yeah, you, uh...
You know something
about self-defense?
Me? Self-defense? A little.
Okay.
Um, I'm coming towards
you and I want your money.
Now what do you say?
It's in my back pocket.
Don't look for trouble.
You don't want to put him
away. You just want to get away.
Always avoid a confrontation.
Until I finish this course.
Always!
Listen, whenever
anybody jumps you,
you never have the upper
hand, so don't try to play it.
How about another volunteer?
Go ahead. Go get it, Blair.
Blair Warner,
lovely to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Oh, listen, when...
when I leave here,
how do I get to the parking lot?
Oh, just go right out there...
Never let your guard down
when a stranger approaches.
What are you gonna do now?
I don't know.
Well, your legs
are free. Kick me.
I can't.
You've got a free hand.
Hit me. Go for the groin.
I can't!
Oh, what's the matter,
Blair? Too unladylike?
Yes.
You're not going to be dealing
with Prince Charles out there.
No area of the
body is off limits.
You're protecting yourself,
maybe even your life.
So please, anything goes.
Well, Natalie,
what do you think?
Will it make
interesting reading?
Sure, if you like fiction.
I've seen enough.
Back to Walden, huh?
Hey, Mrs. Garrett, you promised
you'd take part. Go ahead.
Why, sure.
Hey, Natalie, stick
around and watch me.
You might want to put
my name in the paper.
Hiya!
Hiya! Hiya!
All right, Mrs.
Garrett, are you ready?
I think so. Okay.
You see me coming.
You sense something's up.
What's the first thing you do?
Pray.
Okay, then what?
Run?
Right. Run like hell. And?
Scream? That's right.
But don't just scream.
Scream "fire". That will
get people's attention.
Fire.
That's right. Again.
Fire.
Louder!
Fire!
Very, very good, Mrs.
Garrett. Very good.
Okay. Now, here are some
things to try if you do get cornered.
Hey, Natalie, what about you?
Me? Oh, no.
Oh, come on, Natalie. How
about it? You look a little skeptical.
No, I think this is all
great. It's very entertaining.
It just doesn't happen this way.
Come on.
The man is an expert.
Well, I'm an expert, too.
And when it happened to me,
none of this would have helped.
There was nothing
I could do to stop it.
How about before it happened?
What do you mean?
Was it night?
Yes.
Did you ask someone
to walk with you?
No.
Did you stick to a
well-lighted path?
No.
You used a shortcut?
Yeah, but I've done it a...
Did you at least listen for footsteps
or check the area for strangers?
No, but... Were you
carrying a purse?
I guess so.
Does anybody have a purse?
Here. It's a mess.
May I?
There are a lot of things in
a purse that can help you.
A good place to
go for is the throat.
Keys.
A pencil.
A hairbrush.
Or, uh, even this.
A lollipop?
You hold it like this and it
becomes a dangerous weapon.
Killer candy.
Listen, when you're
really in trouble,
what you need is
something, anything,
that will give that extra few
seconds so that you can just get away.
Okay, everybody
form a line facing me.
Well, Natalie,
what do you think?
Does any of this make sense?
I guess I should have gone home
from the party with the other girls.
You know, I had that cane
from my Charlie Chaplin costume.
Maybe I could have used that.
Maybe. At least it's an option.
That's what these
classes are giving us.
Okay, I've got options.
But I'm still afraid.
Natalie, everybody's afraid.
These are crazy, crazy times.
But life is still sweet.
Don't let your
fear paralyze you.
Use it, to make you alert,
aware, and smart.
Well, I'm going to
go back there now.
I don't want to miss anything.
Put the flat of your
hand up to his nose,
take it right to his
nose and follow through.
Don't be tentative.
Pull it right through.
Use the leverage,
get low, lean forward.
Okay.
Okay.
All together now.
Hiya!
♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪
♪ And enjoy the fun of
managing the facts of life ♪
♪ They shed a lot of light ♪
♪ If you hear them
from your brother ♪
♪ Better clear them
with your mother ♪
♪ Better get them right,
call her late at night ♪
♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪
♪ All you got to do to get
you through is understand ♪
♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪
♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take them both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you got to
go and show you're growing ♪
♪ And now you know
about the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get them right ♪
♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
Aren't you going through a lot of
trouble just for a costume party?
I mean, what do you win anyway?
First prize is two tickets to the Bruce
Springsteen concert in New York.
Springsteen!
Good little singer.
I'm telling you,
it's not my fault.
He was just about to ask me,
when you descended on us.
I was riding by.
And besides, the
sidewalk is public property.
You scared him off.
Scared who?
Michael Sampson.
From Bates?
Try heaven.
I know him. He's on the
rugby team. He's so studly.
It's nice to know your
hormones are functioning.
And he was going to be mine for
the party, if it hadn't been for you.
What did I do?
He was up to "Blair, would
you like to go to the..."
when you practically ran
him over him with your hopper.
The word's chopper.
Hopper, chopper,
what's the difference?
I can't help it if he goes
speechless every time he sees me.
Face it, Blair, it's just
some kind of "animal" thing.
Gee, I thought you had
that mange under control.
Well, at least I saved him
from being railroaded into a date.
Hey, what movie stars are
you guys going to the party as?
Only the most dynamic woman
in the world today, Jane Fonda.
Jane Fonda?
Why are you going as Jane Fonda?
Because she's committed, she's
dedicated, and she's liberated,
like me.
Besides, someone was
already going as Bo Derek.
You can't go as Jane Fonda.
Why? Who are you going as?
Peter Fonda.
A brother and sister act.
Look out.
You realize, of course, you'll
have to pick someone else.
Not on your life.
I've already got my
leather jacket, my boots,
and come this Friday
night, I'll be Easy Rider.
You can't go as Peter
Fonda. He's a man.
She was always
a whiz at biology.
It's not Peter Fonda.
It's what he represents.
Bikes, freedom...
Filth.
Mrs. Garrett, will
you tell Jo she simply
can't go to the party
dressed as Peter Fonda.
Girls, I have to talk to you.
What is it, Mrs. G?
Something's happened in town.
You all know Mrs. King.
Sure. The
headmaster's secretary.
Yeah. This evening,
on her way to her car,
a man attacked her.
She was raped.
You know something weird?
We all must've walked down
that same street a hundred times.
It's right in the
middle of town.
Do we have to talk about it?
Can't we just pretend
it didn't happen?
Oh, I don't think
we can do that, Blair.
Face it, Pollyanna, there's
a lot of crime around.
I know that.
I watch Hill Street Blues.
I don't want you girls to
panic about the situation.
The school is taking
every possible precaution.
Yeah. That's why all those
workmen were here this morning.
They're installing alarms.
You're telling me. I didn't realize
those things were so sensitive.
I slammed the refrigerator door
this morning and bells starting ringing,
I thought I'd won
the Secret Square.
But will alarms be enough?
Oh, it's not just alarms, Blair.
They're arranging for closed-circuit
television, electric gates...
I know all about
these precautions.
They may keep a few people out,
but mostly they lock people in.
Okay, everybody. Get ready!
Natalie, you look fabulous.
Yeah. You're gonna
bring that party to its knees.
Well, if there is a party.
If?
They're considering
cancelling the party.
They can't cancel it. We've
been working on it for weeks.
I have personally
blown up 300 balloons.
Let's not get excited. I said they're
considering cancelling the party.
That doesn't make sense.
It's gonna be on campus.
Besides, whoever this guy
is, he's probably long gone.
I'm sure you're right. But I
still want you girls to be careful.
Maybe we should
just stop living.
Have you guys seen the new
notice on the bulletin board?
You mean the one about
National Succotash Week?
I think she means the one
about the women's safety course.
The school is arranging
for a series of classes
and I've offered the
use of the cafeteria.
They're gonna
teach self-defense?
Mei Hua defense is part
of it. Anybody interested?
Not me.
I have this silly aversion to being
hurled over someone's shoulders.
But who knows? Maybe you'll get
a chance to do some of the hurling.
Ah, then count me in.
I like to mix it up a little.
Ah! All right. Sign right here.
How about you, Blair?
I have the perfect
thing to wear.
You know that karate outfit I
bought right after I saw Shogun.
Yeah, yeah, the one with the little
alligator on it committing hara-kiri.
It was so humiliating,
Mrs. Garrett.
Just imagine, 14 Diana
Rosses in the same room.
And two of them were white.
I wish they'd gone ahead and
cancelled the party anyhow.
Well, for someone who had such a
terrible time, you sure stayed long enough.
I would have been
home a lot sooner,
but my dress is so tight it
took me an hour to hop home.
That was absolutely,
without question,
the worst party I
have ever been to.
Did I lie?
What happened, Blair?
Oh, nothing. Just that all my
illusions have been smashed.
I believed, I expected, that
Michael Sampson had a little taste,
a little breeding,
a little sensitivity.
In other words, he dumped her.
Just for the record, he wasn't exactly
beating a path to your door either.
Well, how could he?
Every time he got within 10 feet of me,
you waltzed by and handed him a pamphlet.
I was playing Jane Fonda.
That pamphlet contained
relevant information.
Yeah, "No nukes"
and her phone number.
Yeah, when I left, Mike was
cheek to cheek with Julie Sable.
That jerk.
She came as Sophia Loren.
She won first prize.
All she did was stand around
speaking Italian and acting dumb.
I could never have done that.
No, you would have had
trouble with the Italian.
Oh, I'll bet Natalie
was disappointed.
She was kind of
counting on winning.
Actually, she took it pretty well.
- Yeah?
Yeah, after we pried her hands
from the judge's throat, she was fine.
She must have gotten over it, 'cause
she was having a great time when I left.
Well, this whole evening
has just been too formidable.
I'm going to bed.
Well, what do you say, Diana?
Think it's time to hop upstairs?
Natalie?
What happened?
I was coming home. And I
knew it was late so I was hurrying.
I wasn't far, Mrs. Garrett.
I was almost home.
Natalie, what happened?
A man grabbed me and I tried to
scream, but he covered my mouth.
Oh, my God!
He pushed me down and
he was holding me down,
and all of a sudden I
heard people's voices.
He must have heard them, too, 'cause
he just got up and left and ran away.
Natalie.
Mrs. Garrett, if those
people hadn't passed by...
It's all right, it's all right.
Mrs. Garrett, I was almost home.
Well, Blair, the taco
shells are ready.
Did you finish
grating the cheese?
Uh-huh.
I might have
liked it a little finer.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Garrett.
It's just I can hardly
keep my eyes open.
I've been up almost every
night with Natalie this week.
We've all been up with her. Those
nightmares of hers are getting worse.
Maybe she'll feel better
once the man is caught.
Caught? The chances of
finding that creep are zilch.
Jo, the police are doing
everything they can.
Mrs. Garrett, last night Natalie woke
me up to walk her to the bathroom.
That's just down the hall!
Blair, a dark hallway
can be very threatening
after an experience
like Natalie's.
It's not just the dark she's
afraid of. It's everything.
Natalie just doesn't
seem like Natalie anymore.
She's lost her,
her... Joie de vivre.
Yeah, all the joie's
gone out of her vivre.
Natalie just realized
how vulnerable she is.
Up until now, she thought
she had control over her life,
that nothing could touch her.
But something did.
And now she's afraid.
Well, if it were
me, I'd be angry.
So is Natalie, inside.
You know, when I was a little
kid, my dad said to me, he says,
"There are people in this
world who get shoved around
"and there are people
who do the shovin'."
"Jo," he says,
"you do the shovin'."
Words to live by.
As it happens, I've come up with something
guaranteed to lift Natalie's spirits.
Four tickets to the Bruce
Springsteen concert Saturday night.
That's wonderful.
Hey, how'd you do that?
Ah, no, don't tell
me. "Money talks."
In this case, it screamed.
I figured the concert would
take Natalie's mind off things.
That was very
thoughtful of you, Blair.
Yeah, thoughtful and generous.
I hate it when you're noble.
It almost makes me like you.
Boy, Natalie. The next time you
ask me to walk home with you,
make sure I wear my track shoes.
It was getting dark.
At noon?
You're right.
Uh, you never know when a total
eclipse is just going to sneak up on you.
Sure, you can make jokes.
But I've had my eyes
opened. I know my limitations.
I don't think any of you realize
what it means to be a woman.
You're kidding, of course.
It means that you're weak and helpless
and you don't have a chance out there.
I wonder how much
a sex change costs.
Tootie.
You know, Natalie has a point.
We all bear the burden of
being attractive and feminine.
Well, almost all of us.
Girls, attractiveness is not
what these attacks are about.
Enough of this depressing talk.
Natalie, have I
got news for you.
Four tickets to the Bruce
Springsteen concert Saturday night.
We're all going.
Oh, wow! Get
ready to rock and roll!
Springsteen? That concert's
been sold out for months.
I can't believe I'm
gonna see him in person.
It's all set. We'll take
the train to New York...
Hey, if we get there early
enough, we can walk around
and soak up all the atmosphere.
And I know this Italian
place that has great scungilli.
Hey, we can hang around
Times Square and people watch.
The night, the
lights, the noise.
I'm not going.
You don't have to
have the scungilli.
Natalie, what is it?
I don't want to see
Springsteen if I have to go out.
Well, I don't think
Bruce'll come here.
Look, you can all go to the city
and pretend like nothing's happened,
but I can't. I know
what's out there.
The world's out there,
Natalie. Remember the world?
You used to like it.
I'm not going!
I'm just not going!
I was reading.
Yeah, you've been doing
a lot of reading lately.
Interesting book?
It's Walden, by Thoreau.
Oh, Walden and
I are old friends.
The first time I read that book,
I remember thinking how
much Walden Pond reminded me
of my home in
Appleton, Wisconsin.
You know, the green hillsides.
Let me try to
remember that line.
"Lakes like gossamer
"gleaming against
the pine trees."
Oh, Appleton had
that same peaceful,
uncomplicated life.
I bet everybody in your
town knew everybody else,
and you never even
bothered locking your door.
You're right.
And you were never afraid.
Oh, I was afraid.
Especially of the lightning.
Lightning has nothing to do with a
man coming at you from the bushes.
Of course not, Natalie.
But fear is fear and
has to be overcome.
Natalie, you don't really want to
hide behind a locked door all your life?
I'll play it by ear.
Come with me to the
safety class tonight.
Why should I?
Because you'll be
doing something.
You feel helpless, right?
Then take some
action. Help yourself.
Mrs. Garrett, I just
want to finish my book.
All right.
Of course, I hope you realize
you're shirking your responsibility.
What responsibility?
Oh, this safety class coming to
Eastland is a very important event.
Shouldn't someone be
covering it for the school paper?
Jo can do it.
Oh, no, she's one of the
students in the class tonight.
The way I see it, it's your job.
You're the journalist.
So journal.
Take a look around the room.
Statistics say that about half of you
will be the victim of a serious crime
sometime in your life.
Oh, that's right, giggle.
But it could happen to you.
It doesn't have to though.
Not if you don't go
around like a victim.
Hi.
Hi.
Let me see you walk.
Just walk?
Just walk.
Okay.
So, um, how'd I do?
You were casual, relaxed.
In other words, lousy.
You look like a victim.
What if someone's
checking you out?
You want to look like
you can handle yourself.
Walk with confidence.
Maybe he'll pass you by.
Let me see someone who can
show little toughness, a little grit.
Grit. That's her middle name.
Mmm, I'm scared.
There you go.
I would definitely think
twice before approaching you.
I almost wish some
creep would try something.
I'd like to get in
one clean shot.
Yeah, you, uh...
You know something
about self-defense?
Me? Self-defense? A little.
Okay.
Um, I'm coming towards
you and I want your money.
Now what do you say?
It's in my back pocket.
Don't look for trouble.
You don't want to put him
away. You just want to get away.
Always avoid a confrontation.
Until I finish this course.
Always!
Listen, whenever
anybody jumps you,
you never have the upper
hand, so don't try to play it.
How about another volunteer?
Go ahead. Go get it, Blair.
Blair Warner,
lovely to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Oh, listen, when...
when I leave here,
how do I get to the parking lot?
Oh, just go right out there...
Never let your guard down
when a stranger approaches.
What are you gonna do now?
I don't know.
Well, your legs
are free. Kick me.
I can't.
You've got a free hand.
Hit me. Go for the groin.
I can't!
Oh, what's the matter,
Blair? Too unladylike?
Yes.
You're not going to be dealing
with Prince Charles out there.
No area of the
body is off limits.
You're protecting yourself,
maybe even your life.
So please, anything goes.
Well, Natalie,
what do you think?
Will it make
interesting reading?
Sure, if you like fiction.
I've seen enough.
Back to Walden, huh?
Hey, Mrs. Garrett, you promised
you'd take part. Go ahead.
Why, sure.
Hey, Natalie, stick
around and watch me.
You might want to put
my name in the paper.
Hiya!
Hiya! Hiya!
All right, Mrs.
Garrett, are you ready?
I think so. Okay.
You see me coming.
You sense something's up.
What's the first thing you do?
Pray.
Okay, then what?
Run?
Right. Run like hell. And?
Scream? That's right.
But don't just scream.
Scream "fire". That will
get people's attention.
Fire.
That's right. Again.
Fire.
Louder!
Fire!
Very, very good, Mrs.
Garrett. Very good.
Okay. Now, here are some
things to try if you do get cornered.
Hey, Natalie, what about you?
Me? Oh, no.
Oh, come on, Natalie. How
about it? You look a little skeptical.
No, I think this is all
great. It's very entertaining.
It just doesn't happen this way.
Come on.
The man is an expert.
Well, I'm an expert, too.
And when it happened to me,
none of this would have helped.
There was nothing
I could do to stop it.
How about before it happened?
What do you mean?
Was it night?
Yes.
Did you ask someone
to walk with you?
No.
Did you stick to a
well-lighted path?
No.
You used a shortcut?
Yeah, but I've done it a...
Did you at least listen for footsteps
or check the area for strangers?
No, but... Were you
carrying a purse?
I guess so.
Does anybody have a purse?
Here. It's a mess.
May I?
There are a lot of things in
a purse that can help you.
A good place to
go for is the throat.
Keys.
A pencil.
A hairbrush.
Or, uh, even this.
A lollipop?
You hold it like this and it
becomes a dangerous weapon.
Killer candy.
Listen, when you're
really in trouble,
what you need is
something, anything,
that will give that extra few
seconds so that you can just get away.
Okay, everybody
form a line facing me.
Well, Natalie,
what do you think?
Does any of this make sense?
I guess I should have gone home
from the party with the other girls.
You know, I had that cane
from my Charlie Chaplin costume.
Maybe I could have used that.
Maybe. At least it's an option.
That's what these
classes are giving us.
Okay, I've got options.
But I'm still afraid.
Natalie, everybody's afraid.
These are crazy, crazy times.
But life is still sweet.
Don't let your
fear paralyze you.
Use it, to make you alert,
aware, and smart.
Well, I'm going to
go back there now.
I don't want to miss anything.
Put the flat of your
hand up to his nose,
take it right to his
nose and follow through.
Don't be tentative.
Pull it right through.
Use the leverage,
get low, lean forward.
Okay.
Okay.
All together now.
Hiya!
♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪
♪ And enjoy the fun of
managing the facts of life ♪
♪ They shed a lot of light ♪
♪ If you hear them
from your brother ♪
♪ Better clear them
with your mother ♪
♪ Better get them right,
call her late at night ♪
♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪
♪ All you got to do to get
you through is understand ♪
♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪
♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪