The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 6 - Kuz-Cop/How Now Sea Cow? - full transcript

FREEZE!

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO WATCH THIS CARTOON.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO WATCH WITH A FRIEND.

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD
A FRIEND, ONE WILL BE
APPOINTED FOR YOU.

THEME MUSIC!

[MARCH PLAYS]

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR TO-BE ♪



♪ AND HE'S GONNA LEAD ♪

YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

♪ EXACTLY ♪
LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN
HIS ABCs ♪

DON'T TRY TO STOP HIM,
TO TOP HIM!

TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?
UH...

♪ K-U-Z-C-O! ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM READ ♪

♪ THAT THING CALLED BOOKS ♪

♪ HE'S GOING TO
KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GONNA FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪



♪ HIS FRIENDS
ARE LOYAL ♪

♪ IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP HIM
'GAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HA HA!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN.

♪ K-U-Z-C-O! ♪

♪ KUZCO, KUZCO, GO, GO! ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

[EASY LISTENING
MUSIC PLAYING]

Man: DELIVERY FOR
MR. KUZCO.

RIGHT HERE, PAL.

[SLURP]

I'M GONNA HAVE TO
ASK YOU TO MOVE ALONG.

OK. ASK AWAY.

[SLURPING]

THESE CHAIRS
ARE HERE FOR PEOPLE
WHO INTEND TO BUY THEM.

I MIGHT BUY IT.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE
EVERY DAY

FOR THE LAST 4 WEEKS.

[SLURPING]

I'M SORRY,
BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

CAN'T?

WHAT IS THIS WORD "CAN'T"?

ISN'T THAT THE DANCE
THAT FRENCH LADIES DO?

THE CAN-CAN'T?

♪ DUH DAH,
DA DA DA DA, DUH DAH ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA, DUH DAH ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA,
LA LA LA LA LA ♪

[CHUCKLES] EH...

OH. ARE YOU STILL HERE?

LOOK, IF YOU DON'T
STOP HARASSING ME,

I'M GONNA FIND
SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY
TO MAKE YOU STOP.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY
MALL SECURITY AROUND?

I AM MALL SECURITY,

AND I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THIS.

DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S
NOV-EMPEROR 1st TOMORROW?

OF COURSE I DO.

THAT'S THE DAY
WHEN EVERYONE GIVES ME
FANCY-PANTS GIFTS.

WHICH MAKES TODAY
THE BUSIEST SHOPPING DAY
OF THE YEAR, OF COURSE.

SO IF YOU WON'T
OBEY THE RULES,

YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO LEAVE.

HA! YEAH, RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,
TOOTY TOOT YOUR LITTLE
MALL COP WHISTLE

UNTIL I GO?

[TOOTING WHISTLE]

OK! STOP!

I'M LEAVING!
[TOOT]

YOU HAVEN'T HEARD
THE LAST OF ME.

SOMEDAY WHEN YOU
LEAST EXPECT IT,

MAYBE A WEDNESDAY,
I'LL BE BACK.

BY THE WAY, DO YOU
WORK ON WEDNESDAYS?
[TOOT]

I'VE GOT IT!

A BRILLIANT PLAN
TO GET RID OF KUZCO
ONCE AND FOR ALL.

FIRST, WE BUY UP ALL THE UNUSED
LAND AROUND THE EMPIRE.

THEN WE BUILD LUXURY
CONDOMINIUMS WITH DAZZLING
VIEWS OF THE PALACE.

THEN WE--
STOP!

ONE ITTY BITTY PROBLEM.
WHAT? WHAT?

WHAT?!
WE'RE COMPLETELY
BROKE.

BROKE?
BROKE!

NO CASH.
COULDN'T EVEN PAY
FOR YOUR LATTE.

REPLACED IT WITH
DECAFFEINATED DIRT.

DECAFFEINATED?!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WE HAD PLENTY
OF MONEY.

WHERE DID IT ALL GO?

HERE ARE THE 10
SHIATSU TOGA-SIZERS
YOU ORDERED.

ALL 10?
YEP.

GOLD-PLATED?
YEAH.

WELL, SEND THEM
ALL BACK.

NOW I WANT PLATINUM.
IT'S THE NEW GOLD.

REGARDLESS OF WHAT
HAPPENED TO OUR FUNDS,

WE NEED MONEY!

LIKE THE GOLD
IN THE ROYAL
DEPOSITORY.

TOO BAD IT'S LOCKED AWAY
UNTIL KUZCO BECOMES EMPEROR.

AND THE WHOLE POINT IS
TO STOP KUZCO FROM
BECOMING EMPEROR.

CLASSIC CATCH-22,
A PARADOX, LIKE WHICH
CAME FIRST,

THE CHICKEN
OR THE SOUSAPHONE?

ONLY THE CHICKEN KNOWS,
AND CLUCKY AIN'T TALKING.

THERE'S ONLY
ONE SOLUTION.

YOU'RE NOT
TOUCHING CLUCKY.

WE'RE GOING TO ROB
THE ROYAL DEPOSITORY!

I DON'T KNOW.
SEEMS A LITTLE
UNETHICAL.

YOU CAN WEAR
ONE OF THOSE LITTLE
ROBBER MASKS.

WHOO-HOO! I'M GONNA
LOOK LIKE A RACCOON.

THAT'S IT.

OH!

HEY!

SO, WONDERING WHAT
THAT LLAMA

THAT LOOKED LIKE ME
HAD TO DO WITH MY PLAN?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,
BUT I MADE YOU LOOK.

WHA-HA-HA!

[PLAYING BAGPIPES]

[SCREAMING]
AAH!

[SIREN WAILS]

Man: OFFICER
ACHAMARE!

MR. DESALSAVERE!

THE MARKET IS
IN TOTAL CHAOS!

IN TOTAL CHAOS!

YOU'RE FIRED!

TURN IN YOUR BADGE
AND YOUR WHISTLE.

AND YOUR SHOES!

NOT MY UNIFORM SHOES.

I BROUGHT THESE
FROM HOME.

UH-HUH. [SNIFFS]
THEY'RE OURS NOW.

[TOOT, TOOT]

ADVANTAGE: KUZCO.

THAT'LL TEACH HIM
TO MILDLY INCONVENIENCE ME.

Malina: NICE WORK.

ANY OTHER INNOCENT WORKERS

YOU WANT TO GET FIRED?

MAYBE. THAT MOUTHY
WAITRESS IN MUTKA'S

ALWAYS KIND OF
BUGGED ME.

[FEEDBACK]

Man on P.A.: LET
NOV-EMPEROR 1st DAY BEGIN!

WELL, THE JOKE'S ON YOU,
BECAUSE WITH NO SECURITY

ON THE WORST SHOPPING DAY
OF THE YEAR,

THIS PLACE IS GONNA ERUPT.

COME ON!
HOW BAD COULD IT BE?

[SCREAMING]

AAH! AAH!

I BOUGHT THIS!

AAH!

BOY, I'M SURE GLAD
THIS DOESN'T
AFFECT ME.

I COULD WATCH THIS
FOREVER.

IF NO ONE CAN SHOP
FOR NOV-EMPEROR 1st DAY,

YOU DON'T GET
ANY GIFTS.

NO NEW FANCY PANTS?

WHOA! WHERE ARE YOU
GOING?

THE BAHAMAS BEFORE
THIS PLACE IMPLODES.

BUT SOMEONE HAS
TO TAKE CONTROL.

FINE. CONSIDER
YOURSELF DEPUTIZED.

OW! OUCH! [TOOT]

[SIREN]

WELCOME TO KUZCO'S DOODLES,
WHERE I SHOW YOU

HOW I SINGLE-HANDEDLY
TOOK CONTROL OF THE MARKET.

THAT'S ME--LIEUTENANT KUZCO,
MARKET P.D...

BUT WITH BIGGER MUSCLES
AND A CAPE

AND A WACKY SIDEKICK.

YOU'RE OUT OF
CONTROL, SARGE.

YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON.

NAH, I DON'T NEED
A SIDEKICK.

LIEUTENANT KUZCO--

HERE TO CONTROL
THE DUMB AND CLUELESS PEASANTS.

I'M DUMB.
I'M CLUELESS.

SOMEONE TELL US
WHAT TO DO.

TICKETS FOR LOITERING
FOR EACH OF YOU.

BUY YOUR NOV-EMPEROR
1st DAY PRESENTS
AND GET OUT.

OOH, THANK YOU,
OFFICER KUZCO.

IN FACT, TAKE
THESE GIFTS AS
OUR APOLOGY.

OOH, A SAILBOAT
AND A CHURRO

AND SOME NEW FANCY PANTS.

WE ARE NOT WORTHY.
LIEUTENANT KUZCO RULES!

AND THEN MY FRIENDS
DUMPED ME IN THIS STATUE.

THE END.

WELL, MAYBE IT DIDN'T GO
EXACTLY THAT WAY.

♪ HAPPY, HAPPY,
HAPPY ♪

♪ HAPPY, HAPPY ♪

KRONK, I'D GET
OUT OF HERE
IF I WERE YOU.

YEAH, BUT I GOT TO
PICK UP A--NOT
A ROBBER'S MASK.

HA! WHY WOULD I WANT
TO LOOK LIKE A RACCOON?

THEY'RE CRAZED,
LAWLESS.

DOESN'T ANYONE
RESPECT AUTHORITY
ANYMORE?

HEY, HEY, DON'T
SPEAK ABOUT RACCOONS
LIKE THAT.

I'M GONNA BE
GIFTY McGIFTLESS

IF WE CAN'T GET
DESALSAVERE TO HIRE
ACHAMARE BACK.

WELL, IF HE WERE
TO FOIL A ROBBERY

AT THE ROYAL DEPOSITORY
TONIGHT.

IF THAT WERE GONNA HAPPEN,
WHICH IT'S NOT.

KRONK,
THAT'S GENIUS!

THAT'LL SHOW WHAT
A GREAT COP HE IS.

I'LL BRING ACHAMARE
TO THE DEPOSITORY
TONIGHT,

AND HE'LL CATCH YOU
PRETENDING TO ROB
THE PLACE. GENIUS!

WELL, KRONK,
IT'S TIME FOR
THE BIGGEST HEIST

THIS EMPIRE
HAS EVER SEEN.

YEAH, WANT TO GO
PICK UP A NEW TV
INSTEAD?

MOLA GUACA SAYS
THEY'RE PRACTICALLY
GIVING 'EM AWAY.

WE COULD ALWAYS
STEAL THE GOLD
TOMORROW

OR THE NEXT DAY
OR YESTERDAY.

RIGHT NOW,
NOT SO MUCH.

THEN I GUESS SOMEONE
WON'T GET TO WEAR
HIS ROBBER'S MASK.

OH! I'M IN!

[STAMMERS]

WELL, HELLO THERE.
PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP ME.

I'M BUT A SIMPLE TOURIST
IN NEED OF DIRECTIONS.

I'M HOPING A CAPABLE MAN
SUCH AS YOURSELF

CAN GUIDE ME TOWARDS
SOME LOCAL SITES
OF INTEREST.

MEN. HEH.
THEY'RE PUTTY
IN MY HANDS.

HI.

KRONK, YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE RIGHT BEHIND ME.

HOW DID YOU GET
IN HERE?

DRILLING MACHINE.

I DIDN'T KNOW
WE HAD ONE OF THOSE.

JUST GOT IT.

I'M TELLING YOU
THE SALES AT THAT
MARKET ARE RIDICULOUS.

HOW COULD THEY
POSSIBLY STAY
IN BUSINESS?

THEY MAKE IT ALL UP
ON BATTERIES, EXTENDED
WARRANTIES, YOU KNOW.

Achamare: HAVEN'T YOU
DONE ENOUGH TO ME?

NO. I MEAN, YES.
I MEAN, I WANT TO HELP
YOU GET YOUR JOB BACK.

I'M NOT SURE I WANT
MY OLD JOB BACK.

I'M CONSIDERING
OTHER OPTIONS,

LIKE MAKING CARTOONS.

WHAT?

I AM NOT GONNA
LET YOU THROW
YOUR LIFE AWAY.

COME ON!

SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I WAS FEELING A LITTLE--

AHA!
AHA?

AHA WHAT?
I AM BUT A SIMPLE
TOURIST IN NEED OF--

YZMA, YOU WANT ME
TO STEAL ALL OF
COINS OR JUST

THE SHINY NEW ONES?

HEY, KUZCO,
CHECK IT OUT.
I'M A RACCOON.

CHIEF ACHAMARE,
ARREST THOSE THIEVES.

THE JIG'S UP,
KRONK. RUN!

[ALARM BLARING]

WHAT'S THE, UH...
YOU KNOW RADIO--?
ALARM!

CAN'T YOU HIT SNOOZE?

NOT THAT KIND OF ALARM.

WE GOT TO MAKE
A BREAK FOR IT.

Man on bullhorn:
THIS IS THE ROYAL GUARD.

WE HAVE YOU
COMPLETELY SURROUNDED.

STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
WE'RE COMING IN.

COME ON!
I'M NOT GOING
ANYWHERE.

THAT'S THE LAW OUTSIDE,
AND I RESPECT AUTHORITY.

UH, WELL, THEN IF YOU
GOT THAT COVERED,
I'LL CATCH YOU LATER.

HOLD IT!
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

IT SADDENS ME
TO SEE AN OFFICER TURN
TO A LIFE OF CRIME.

AND SINCE I DON'T LIKE
BEING SAD,

I SENTENCE YOU
TO 14 LIFE SENTENCES.

I OBJECT!

HUH?
THE ACCUSED WAS
CAUGHT ROBBING

THE ROYAL DEPOSITORY,
WHICH BELONGS TO KUZCO,

A.K.A. SENOR AWESOME.

SINCE ME DIDN'T
PRESS CHARGES, THE ACCUSED
IS NOT ACCUSED.

I DECLARE MISTRIAL.

WELL, TECHNICALLY,
HE IS RIGHT.

NOW, THIS POOR SOUL
MIGHT LEARN TO RESPECT
AUTHORITY IF HE WERE

APPOINTED TO, SAY, WORK AS
A SECURITY OFFICER AT
THE EMPEROR'S NEW MARKET.

SOUNDS LIKE
A FITTING PUNISHMENT.

I'M LATE FOR
A GOLF GAME ANYWAY.

CASE DISMISSED.

IN HONOR OF YOU GETTING
YOUR OLD JOB BACK,

I'D LIKE TO PRESENT YOU
WITH YOUR OLD SHOES.

[SNIFFING]

I MAY HAVE
STEPPED IN SOMETHING.

OH, AND FROM NOW ON,
I PROMISE TO RESPECT
YOUR AUTHORITY,

BECAUSE ONE--
IF I DON'T, CHAOS REIGNS

AND UFOs TAKE
ALL OUR FREE TVs.

NOT BAD, KUZCO.
I'M IMPRESSED.

AND TWO--BECAUSE TODAY
KICKS OFF THE BI-ANNUAL

KUZCO SHOP-TOBERFEST!

SHOP FOR ME TILL
YOU DROP, BABY!

WELCOME BACK!
[TOOT]

CHOCOLATE,
CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATE!

KRONK, YOU IDIOT,
YOU TUNNELED INTO
KUZCO'S CANDY VAULT.

THEY'RE COMPLETELY
WORTHLESS!

MMM.

THEY'RE WORTHLESSLY
DELICIOUS.

LET'S EAT ALL THE EVIDENCE.

KRONK!

Woman: OH! OH, KUZCO!

YOU SHOULD SIGN UP
FOR THE SCIENCE CLUB.

IT'S JUST LIKE
SCIENCE CLASS,

BUT AFTER SCHOOL
AND FOR NO CREDIT!

SURE. I'LL SIGN UP.
WHEN LLAMAS FLY.

THAT'S OUR NEXT PROJECT.

CLUB CLUB.

IT'S FOR PEOPLE
WHO LIKE CLUBS.

ME THINKY, NO NO.

HEY, KUZCO.

WANT TO JOIN
THE KUZCO FAN CLUB?

SIGN UP TODAY AND YOU GET
A FREE KUZ-COCOA CUP.

SEE, I HAVE THIS RULE
ABOUT NOT JOINING
ANY CLUB

THAT WOULD HAVE
YOU AS A MEMBER.

YOUR RULES RULE!

AHH...

NOW THAT LOOKS
PROMISING.

HEY, MALINA.
I'D LIKE TO JOIN

THE SINCE YOUR PARENTS
ARE OUT OF TOWN
THIS WEEKEND

WHAT TIME SHOULD
I STOP BY FOR
THE RAGING PARTY CLUB.

I'M NOT THROWING
ANY PARTIES.

AND THIS IS
THE MANATEE AWARENESS CLUB.

YOU MEAN SEA COWS?

YEAH, I'M ALREADY
AWARE OF THEM.

AWARE THAT THEY ARE
LAME! [MOO] HA HA!

KUZCO, MANATEES
ARE BEAUTIFUL,
MISUNDERSTOOD CREATURES

THAT ARE ENDANGERED
BECAUSE HUMANS HAVE
POLLUTED THEIR BEACHES.

AND DON'T CALL THEM
SEA COWS.

FINE. STREAM DONKEYS.
LAKE PIGS. WHATEVER.

NOW, ABOUT THIS PARTY.

ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M TAKING YOU DOWN
TO THE MANATEE HABITAT

SO YOU CAN SEE HOW GREAT
THEY REALLY ARE.

AT LEAST THIS COUNTS
AS A DATE, RIGHT?

NO. IT DOESN'T.
OK. IT'S A DATE.

EW! THESE THINGS ARE
FUNNY-LOOKING AND
SMELL LIKE SEAWEED.

[MEWLING]

THAT'S IT! YOU'RE
NOT ALLOWED TO PLAN
OUR DATES ANYMORE.

IT'S NOT A DATE.

Woman: HELLO,
FELLOW MANATEE LOVERS.

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED
IN SIGNING UP FOR OUR
SAVE A MANATEE PROGRAM?

NOPE!
FOR JUST ONE
KUZ-COIN A DAY--

NOPE!
LESS THAN THE PRICE
OF A CUP OF COCOA.

NOPE!
YOU CAN HELP FEED
AND PROTECT

ONE OF THESE
MAGNIFICENT CREATURES.

YEAH, LET ME THINK.

NOPE.

WELL, I'LL SIGN UP.

THANK YOU. YOU'VE HELPED
BRING A DROP OF JOY

INTO THE HEART OF
ONE VERY NEEDY MANATEE.

♪ DAH DAH,
DAH DAH DAH-ER ♪

SO, WHEN'S THE PARTY
STARTING?

[MALINA HUMMING]

I TOLD YOU
NO PARTIES.

BUT I ALREADY DID
THE SLIDE INTO
THE ROOM PARTY THINGY.

FORGET IT, KUZCO.

MY PARENTS TRUSTED ME
WITH THE HOUSE.

ALL I WANT IS A NICE,
QUIET WEEKEND WITH
NO SURPRISES.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[MEWLING]

[FART]

"THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN
THE SAVE A MANATEE PROGRAM.

THIS IS DOYLE.
HE WILL REQUIRE
YOUR CONSTANT CARE."

SO, THIS ISN'T GONNA RUIN
THE PARTY PLANS, IS IT?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS
JUST ONE OF THOSE
PROGRAMS

WHERE YOU SEND AWAY
YOUR KUZ-COIN

AND SOMEONE ELSE DOES
ALL THE WORK.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO
WITH A MANATEE?

JUST GIVE ME A BUCKET
OF SLOP AND LET HIM
LIE IN FILTH.

THAT'S ALL THOSE THINGS
LIKE TO DO ANYWAY.

NO, KUZCO.

THIS MANATEE IS
MY RESPONSIBILITY NOW,

AND I'VE GOT
TO TAKE CARE OF IT

BY DOING A SERIES
OF THINGS

WITH MUSICAL
ACCOMPANIMENT.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

HEY! WHEN DID IT
BECOME MALINA TV?

LET'S GET BACK
TO SOME HIGH QUALITY
KUZCO TV.

[BURPING]

NICE, BUT CHECK
THIS OUT.

[BURPS]

THAT'S THE ONE.
KUZCO, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

HAVING A BELCHING
CONTEST. I'M UP 3-1.

[GROWL]

ALL RIGHT, TECHNICALLY
IT'S 3-2, BUT HE'S CHEATING.

BURPS CAN ONLY COME
FROM THE MOUTH, RIGHT?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
MANATEES WERE FUNNY-
LOOKING AND SMELLY,

THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN
LIKE THEM.

THAT WAS BEFORE
I GOT TO KNOW ONE.

NOW I DIG DOYLE'S
LAID-BACK ATTITUDE.

HE'S REALLY HELPED ME
FORGET ABOUT MY
HIGH-STRESS LIFESTYLE.

WAIT, DID YOU GET
THIS FROM MY DAD'S
SODA CABINET?

MANATEES AREN'T EVEN
SUPPOSED TO DRINK SODA.

AH, HE LIKES IT.

IN FACT, COULD YOU
BE A PAL AND PICK US UP
ANOTHER CASE?

[BURPING]

LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE'S
GOING EXTRA INNINGS.

UHH! YOU GUYS
ARE DISGUSTING.

THANKS.

DON'T BUY DIET.

YOU SEE, DOYLE'S
BECOMING A LITTLE MORE
WORK THAN I THOUGHT.

SO, I WAS WONDERING
ABOUT YOUR RETURN
POLICY.

YOU DON'T LIKE DOYLE?
NO, IT'S NOT THAT.

IT'S JUST THAT
MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF
TOWN THIS WEEKEND,

SO THE TIMING
ISN'T GREAT AND--

NO, NO, THAT'S FINE.
WE'LL TAKE HIM BACK.

OF COURSE, THAT DOES MEAN
WE'LL HAVE TO KICK OUT

ONE OF THE OTHER MANATEES
TO MAKE ROOM,

LIKE LITTLE SALLY HERE.

SHE ONLY HAS ONE FLIPPER,
BUT I'M SURE SHE'LL
SURVIVE ON HER OWN.

HOPEFULLY PREDATORS
WILL TAKE PITY ON HER

AS SHE SWIMS ROUND
IN HER SAD LITTLE CIRCLES.

OK, OK. FORGET IT.

I'LL JUST HAVE TO
FIND SOME OTHER
ARRANGEMENT FOR DOYLE.

AND SALLY?
NO!

Kronk: I'M GLAD
YOU CALLED ME HERE TO MEDIATE.

I'VE GOT 5 JUNIOR
CHIPMUNK MERIT BADGES
IN ANIMAL DIPLOMACY.

NOW, MALINA, TELL ME
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT DOYLE.

THIS IS AN OPEN
ENVIRONMENT.

I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M THE ONLY ONE

PUTTING ANY EFFORT
INTO RELATIONSHIP.

I MEAN, I COOK HIS MEALS,
I WASH HIM EVERY DAY,

AND I GET NOTHING
IN RETURN.

PLUS, HE'S A REALLY BAD
INFLUENCE ON KUZCO.

MUDDY MUD,
MUDDY MUD MUD.

LET ME HAVE
A TALK WITH DOYLE.

GRUNT, WUB,
BELLOW, GRUNT.

[GRUNTS]

BELLOW, BELLOW,
WUB, WUB, GRUNT.

[GRUNT]

ALL RIGHT. WE FINALLY
HAD A BREAKTHROUGH.

DOYLE FEELS BAD
ABOUT BEING SUCH A BURDEN.

SO WE CAME UP
WITH A COMPROMISE.

THANK GOODNESS.

HA! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS COOK ALL OF HIS MEALS,

GIVE HIM TWO BATHS A DAY,
AND READ HIM A BEDTIME STORY.

WAIT! WHAT?! NO!

THAT'S MORE THAN
I WAS DOING BEFORE!

MALINA, HOW COULD YOU
BE SO STUBBORN?

DON'T YOU KNOW
MANATEES ARE ENDANGERED?

[WHIMPERS]

THANKS FOR HELPING ME
OUT, GUACA.

I'VE REALLY GOT
TO GET THIS MANATEE
OUT OF THE HOUSE

AND BACK
TO HIS HABITAT.

NO PROBLEM.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
AN EXCUSE TO WEAR

MY MANATEE COSTUME.

WHY DO YOU EVEN
HAVE ONE OF THOSE?

NEVER YOU MIND.

NOW, COME ON.
ARE WE DOING THIS
OR WHAT?

OK, WHO DO YOU THINK
WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT--

PAJAMA LLAMA
OR A T-REX?

RRAAR.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

T-REX WOULD
EAT HIM WHOLE.

RRAAR.

YOU GOT A POINT THERE.

HEY, DOYLE.

THERE'S A BIG
SURPRISE FOR YOU OUTSIDE.

LOOK, A BEAUTIFUL
FEMALE MANATEE.

DON'T YOU WANT
TO GO OUTSIDE
AND TALK TO HER?

WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?

COME ON, MALINA.
HE'S NOT DESPERATE.

I'VE HAD JUST
ABOUT ENOUGH OF
YOU LAZY MOOCHERS.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT
IF I SAT AROUND ALL DAY

AND DID NOTHING
BUT READ COMIC BOOKS
AND EAT JUNK FOOD

AND HOLD BELCHING
CONTESTS?

ACTUALLY,
THAT'D BE PRETTY COOL.

UGH! I CAN'T TAKE
THIS ANYMORE!

OK, OK. I GET
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

YOU WANT DOYLE
TO LEAVE.

EXACTLY! THANK YOU.

TEMPORARILY.
SO WE CAN PLAY
SPIN THE BOTTLE.

KUZCO!

WELL, I GUESS
HE CAN STAY, BUT THAT
MIGHT GET KINDA WEIRD.

NO, KUZCO.
I AM SICK OF YOU
AND DOYLE

BEING SUCH
DISGUSTING SLOBS.

I MEAN, LOOK
AT THIS PLACE!

IS THAT A TACO
ON THE CEILING?

THAT WAS THERE BEFORE.

DON'T TOY WITH ME.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU GO TAKE A NICE,
LONG, RELAXING WALK,

AND BY THE TIME
YOU GET BACK,

DOYLE AND I WILL HAVE
THIS PLACE CLEANED UP.

REALLY?
EMPEROR'S HONOR.

RRAAR.

THANK YOU.

NOW, THAT'S
ALL I WANTED.

DID I HIT IT?
DID I HIT IT?

[GASP] WHAT IS
GOING ON HERE?

I PUT MY BLINDFOLD ON
FOR ONE MINUTE,

AND YOU MANATEES
TRASH THE PLACE.

KUZCO, HOW COULD
YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?

YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA
CLEAN THIS PLACE UP!

OK, HEAR ME OUT.

WE WERE TOTALLY
GOING TO, BUT WE FIGURED
WE NEEDED SOME HELP.

SO DOYLE INVITED
A FEW OF HIS MANATEE
BUDDIES OVER,

AND WELL, THEN THEY
CALLED A FEW OF THEIR BUDDIES

WHO CALLED SOME OF
THEIR BUDDIES

WHO ENDED UP BRINGING OVER
SOME LADY MANATEES

THEY MET DOWN
AT THE BEACH.

ANYWAY, ONE THING
LED TO ANOTHER,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,

AND NOW WE GOT
MANATEES SLEEPING
IN THE BATHTUB.

BUT, HEY, AT LEAST
YOU GOT THAT RAGING
PARTY YOU WANTED.

I DIDN'T WANT A PARTY.
YOU DID.

OH, YEAH, COOL.

MY PARENTS ARE
GONNA BE FURIOUS.

WHERE'S DOYLE?

[THUD]

THAT'S IT!

I WANT YOU OUT, OUT, OUT!

WHEW!

GO, MANATEE!

RRAAR.

Malina: DOYLE...

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME.

I'M SO SORRY.

YOU SHOULD BE.

AFTER WE WENT
OUT OF OUR WAY
TO THROW YOU A PARTY,

WHICH I CLEANED UP
BEFORE YOUR PARENTS
GOT HOME.

BY THE WAY, DON'T LOOK
IN YOUR HALL CLOSET.

[CAT SCREECHES]

I GUESS I JUST WASN'T
PREPARED TO HANDLE

THIS MUCH
RESPONSIBILITY.

SO I TOOK IT OUT
ON YOU.

BUT, TO MAKE IT UP
TO YOU AND THE OTHER
MANATEES,

I'M GOING TO CLEAN UP
THE LOCAL BEACH

SO YOU ALL HAVE
A NICE PLACE TO LIVE.

WHO'S COMING WITH ME?

AH, FORGET YOU GUYS.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE
GONNA NEED A NEW PLACE
FOR DOYLE TO STAY,

SOMEPLACE NICE
WITH FRIENDS,

A WARM WATER SUPPLY.

ALL RIGHT, I CALL.
WHAT DO YOU GOT?

A ROYAL FLUSH?

DOYLE WINS AGAIN.

[LAUGHING]

Guaca: UM, KUZCO,
CAN I PLEASE TAKE
THE COSTUME OFF NOW?

NO, GUACA, YOU'LL
RUIN THE PARTY.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

YOU HAVE
THOSE ACES, DON'T YOU?

I CAN SEE IT
IN YOUR FACE.

I SHOULD FOLD.

WAIT A MINUTE.
NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU'RE TRYING
TO BLUFF ME.

IN THAT CASE,
I SHOULD RAISE.

WAIT, WAIT.
NOW I SEE IT.

YOU DO HAVE THE ACES.
NO? 3 ACES? 4 ACES?

THAT'S IT, I FOLD.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

GO FISH.

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.