The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 7 - A Fair to Remember/Working Girl - full transcript

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

BOYS AND GIRLS,

LLAMAS AND LLAMETTES,

STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE
THE EIGHTH WONDER
OF THE WORLD--

ME.

THEME MUSIC.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪



♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪

YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!
EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪



♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY--ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

KUZCO!
AAH!

NO HURTING KUZCO!

IT'S COMING!
THE KUZ-CARNIVAL.

THRILLS, CHILLS,
UNIDENTIFIED SPILLS.

MUST TELL EVERYONE!

I GOTTA RIDE THE ONE
THAT GOES, UH,

KA-CHOING! SWOOSH!

YAKITTY,
YAKITTY, YAKITTY!

ZAP, ZAP,
ZAP, ZAP, ZAP!

THAT ONE.

NOTE TO SELF:
CALL LOCKSMITH.

KRONK, WHY DO YOU KEEP
BARGING INTO MY BEDROOM?

UH, THE KUZ-CARNIVAL.

THOUGHT I MADE THAT CLEAR
AT MY FIRST ENTRANCE.

OH, AND YOU WANTED TO LET
YOUR BEST FRIEND KNOW FIRST.

NO, I'M PRETTY MUCH
BARGING IN EVERYWHERE.

WELL, THE ONLY WAY
YOU'D SEE THIS INCREDIBLY
HANDSOME FACE

IN THAT FLEA CIRCUS IS IF--

WAIT, DO THEY
HAVE A TUNNEL OF LOVE?

YEAH, WELL, YEAH,

BUT I'M MORE
OF A ROLLER COASTER
KIND OF GUY.

ME, MALINA,
THE TUNNEL OF LOVE, ME.

IT'S GENIUS!

I'M ASKING MALINA
TO THE CARNIVAL.

YEAH, BUT, UH, MALINA
ALWAYS TURNS YOU DOWN.

NO.
UH, NO.

NO WAY.
NO HOW.

NEVER.

SHE'S BEEN SENDING
MIXED SIGNALS,

BUT THIS TIME I KNOW
SHE'S GONNA SAY--

NO.
UH, I WISH YOU'D STOP

SENDING ME
MIXED SIGNALS.

YEAH, UH, RAMON
ASKED ME 3 DAYS AGO.

RAMON? WHAT,
THE AUSTRALIAN GUY?

HOLA, SEÑOR.

SHALL WE GO, SEÑORITA?

SI! I MEAN, SURE!

I MEAN, I'LL
STOP BABBLING NOW.

[GIGGLES]

COTTON CANDY, SNOW CONE,
CARAMEL POTATO.

NOTHING WILL BE AS SWEET
AS BEING WITH MALINA.

YOU KNOW,
THOSE FUNNEL CAKES
ARE AWFUL GOOD.

THEY MIGHT BE
AS SWEET AS MALINA.

YEAH,
THOSE ARE GOOD.

HEH, NO WORRIES, BUDDY.

I'LL GO TO
THE CARNIVAL WITH YOU.

I WANT TO CHECK OUT
THIS SO-CALLED...

"FUNHOUSE."

OH, I'LL GO, ALL RIGHT,

BUT NOT FOR THE RIDES.

I'M GONNA
SABOTAGE THEIR DATE!

[MUSIC PLAYS]

YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING
TO RIDE THE ZIP SCREAM?

OK, MAYBE
THE ZIP SCREAM.

BUT AFTER THAT,

I'M GONNA
SABOTAGE THEIR DATE!

[MUSIC PLAYS]

OH, MALINA'S GOING
TO LEARN IT'S NO FUN

GOING OUT WITH GUYS
WHO AREN'T ME.

OH, I GET IT.

YOU'RE GONNA
SABOTAGE THEIR DATE!

[MUSIC PLAYS]

HEH. JUST WANTED
TO HEAR THAT MUSIC
ONE MORE TIME.

I'M GOOD.

MIGHT I SAY

YOU LOOK AS LOVELY
TONIGHT AS A YOUNG...

HOW DO YOU SAY?
WHEELBARROW.

UH, THANK I--UH, YOU.

[LAUGHS]

YOU HAVE SUCH
A WAY WITH WORDS.

UGH, THEY ARE
SO WRONG FOR EACH OTHER.

I GUESS IT'S
UP TO ME TO SET 'EM
ON THE RIGHT PATH...

GOING IN
OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.

[LAUGHS]

CHECK US OUT,

HAVING FUN ALREADY,

AND WE HAVEN'T
EVEN GONE INSIDE.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

YOU CAN SEE
THE ENTIRE KINGDOM
FROM HERE,

BUT ALL I WANT TO PUT
MY EYES ON IS YOU.

[THINKING] OH, MY GOSH.

HE IS SO HOT!

DON'T MESS THIS UP.

I WANT THIS DATE
TO BE PERFECT.

DON'T SAY THE WRONG THING.

BETTER SAY NOTHING!

BUT IF I SAY NOTHING,

HE'LL THINK
I DON'T LIKE HIM.

WHAT IS WRONG?
DO YOU NOT LIKE ME?

YES!
YOU DON'T?

NO.
I CAN GO.

YES! I MEAN, NO.

YES. NO. [GIGGLES]

KUZCO IS RIGHT. YOU
DO GIVE MIXED SIGNALS.

TIME TO PUT THIS DATE
OUT OF MY MISERY.

[SNICKERS]

HEY, BUCKY, YOU CUDDLY,
LITTLE TREE RAT,

LOOKEE HERE!

YUM-NUMMY POPCORN.

ECCH!

THERE'S AN ACORN SURPRISE
AT THE BOTTOM.

OHH! [GIGGLES]

GOTCHA!

[LAUGHS]

PSST, HEY, HOW MUCH
FOR THE BALLOONS?

AND THE PARROT COSTUME?

N-N-NO, I MEAN,
NO, I LIKE YOU,

NOT YES,
I DON'T LIKE YOU.

I MEAN--

[SQUAWKS] POLLY WANNA
GIVE YOU FREE POPCORN.

UM, GRACIAS.

CAN WE ALSO GET
A BALLOON, POR FAVOR?

YOU CAN HAVE
POR FA-FIVE. [SQUAWKS]

SQUAWK!

POPPED CORN?

HYAH!

OH, I AM
SO EMBARRASSED.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

[LAUGHS] YOU JOKING?

WHEN IT COMES
TO CARNIVAL FOOD,

THE SQUIRREL
IS THE BEST PART.

FIRST YOU SAY
YOU DO NOT LIKE ME,
AND NOW SQUIRREL.

YOU ARE FUNNY!

[THINKING] SAVED.

THANKS,
FREAKY POPCORN PARROT.

HA HA! CUSHY POPCORN.

THAT DIDN'T EVEN HURT.

THAT DID.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

SO, TO RECAP,

I TRIED TO RAIN ON
THEIR STUPID, STUPID DATE.

[THUNDER]

AND THEY TOOK MY RAIN
AND MADE LEMONADE.

OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT.

SO, I GUESS
THE LESSON IS...

MAKE IT RAIN HARDER
ON THEIR STUPID,

DELICIOUS PITCHER
OF LEMONADE DATE.

I PREDICT A COLD FRONT
MOVING IN SOON.

BUT UNTIL THEN,
SUNNY AND MID 70s

MEANS GREAT BEACH WEATHER
FOR THE WEEKEND,

SO ENJOY!

BACK TO YOU
IN THE STUDIO.

KING CLOWN'S FUN HUT!

DO YOU THINK QUEEN CLOWN
WILL BE AT HOME?

SHOULD I BOW OR CURTSY?

THIS IS
MY FIRST FUN HUT.

YEAH, I COULD TELL
FROM THE HOPPING.

ACTUALLY, I KINDA HAVE
TO USE THE BATHROOM,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE
MY PLACE IN LINE.

HEY, LOOK!

THAT BIG, WOUNDED PARROT
IS GIVING OUT FREE POPCORN!

Kids: POPCORN!
I WANT SOME!

HEH HEH, LIKE GIVING
POPCORN TO A BABY.

Man: SOAK THE KUZCO,
WIN A LLAMA!

SOAK THE RAMON,
WIN A MALINA.

EAT H20, DINGO BOY.

[COUGHING]

OH, NO! YOU'RE ALL--

THE WATER!
DO YOU WANT TO GO TO--

I MEAN,

YOU'RE NOT UPSET?

NO! NOW YOU CAN SEE
MY PERFECTLY DEFINED CHEST.

WHAT A DATE!

WHA--NO, NO,

THAT'S ALL WRONG.

[SQUIRREL CHITTERING]

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT,
YOU MANGY FUR BALL?

[SHOUTING]

OK, NEW LESSON--

QUIT WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD.

BUT I'M NOT AHEAD,
SO, ME NO QUITTY.

HEY, THIS IS JUST LIKE
THE ONE TO YZMA'S LAB.

HOPEFULLY, THIS ONE WON'T
RIP OFF MY STREET CLOTHES.

FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN!

LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT,
LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

WELL, I DON'T HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM ANYMORE.

THERE WAS
A PRONTO POTTY IN THERE.

Announcer: HERE HE IS, FOLKS,
OUR DARING VOLUNTEER!

VOLUNTEER?
WHO VOLUNTEERED ME?

YEAH, MY FRIEND
ASKED ME TO SIGN HIM UP
FOR THE BEAR ATTACK--

UM, WRESTLING.

OH, AND HE PREFERS IT
IF THE BEAR HASN'T EATEN
OR SLEPT IN 48 HOURS,

AND HE ALSO SAID
TO TELL THE BEAR ITS MOTHER
SMELLS LIKE TREE BARK.

[ROARS]

THE SACRIFICES
I MAKE FOR A DATE.

WHAT THE...

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

OH, QUÉ LÁSTIMA.

MY SHIRT
HAS BEEN RIPPED.

I'D BETTER DISCARD IT.

[THINKING]
CHISELED FEATURES,

AND HE CAN ROLL
WITH THE PUNCHES.

JACKPOT!

DON'T MESS
THIS ONE UP, GIRL.

UGH, THIS GUY IS UNREAL.

OH, YOU ENJOYING THIS,

YOU LITTLE
PLAGUE-CARRYING VARMINT?

WHAT, YOU GONNA CHUCK
A NUT AT THE BEAR

SO HE'LL ATTACK ME?

UH-HUH.

[ROARING]

[SCREAMS]

OK, THIS SCENE NOT OK
FOR SENSITIVE VIEWERS

LIKE ME.

TUMMY NO LIKEY.

LET'S SEE
WHAT ELSE IS ON.

OH, DANCE, DANCE UNDERPANTS!

OHH, AH, OH, OH,
OW, AH, OHH, OW, OH, AH.

KUZCO!

WHATEVER YOU DO,
DO NOT GO INTO THE FUN HUT.

IT WAS IN NO WAY FUN.

IT TECHNICALLY
WASN'T EVEN A HUT.

WHO KNEW
KING CLOWN'S FUN HUT

WOULD HAVE CLOWNS IN IT?

EH, NOT A BIG FAN
OF THE CLOWN.

THEN STEER CLEAR
OF THAT UN-FUN,
NON-HUT FUN HUT.

GRACIAS, AMIGO.

THIS GIVES US
THE EXCUSE

TO CHECK OUT
THE TUNNEL OF LOVE.

REALLY?

AFTER ALL
THE PROBLEMS WE'VE HAD,

YOU'RE
STILL UP FOR MORE?

THIS SURE WASN'T
THE PERFECT DATE

THAT I'D HOPED FOR.

WHO CARES
ABOUT PERFECT?

THIS IS MORE FUN THAN
A BARREL FULL OF SNOUTS.

NOTHING COULD
RUIN THIS DATE.

EXCEPT FOR
THOSE CLOWNS. ECCH.

WELL, TIME TO THROW
ANOTHER CLOWN ON THE BARBIE,

EH, MATE?

Ramon: AH, HERE IT IS.

THE TUNNEL OF LOVE.

[CLOWNS SINGING]

♪ YOU'LL LAUGH,
YOU'LL SCREAM,
YOUR SIDES WILL SPLIT ♪

♪ HERE WE BET
YOUR FUNNY BONE ♪

♪ PLAY IT
LIKE A BIG TROMBONE ♪

[CLOWNS LAUGHING]

Ramon: SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

[SCREAMING]

[RAMON PANTING]

I'M SO SORRY, IT'S OK.

COME HERE, I GOT YOU.

HEY, MALINA.

WHERE'S YOUR MR. TOUGH,
BEAR-WRESTLING DATE NOW?

YOU SHOULD DITCH THE HERO,
GET WITH THE ZERO.

WAIT. SWITCH THOSE.

YOU MEAN, LIKE YOU
SWITCHED THE FUN HUT?

HUH?

LIKE I HAVE
NOTHING BETTER TO DO

THAN PULL
SOME CHILDISH...

PRANK.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH
WITH THE THIRD DEGREE.

I'M SORRY.

I KNOW IT WAS WRONG.

I KNOW CLOWNS
ARE NEVER THE ANSWER,

BUT IT'S JUST--

UH, EVERYBODY,

CAN YOU STICK YOUR FINGERS
IN YOUR EARS AND SING?

GO ON.

♪ FRèRE JACQUES,
FRèRE JACQUES... ♪

♪ TWINKLE, TWINKLE,
LITTLE STAR... ♪

LOOK, DON'T
TELL ANYONE THIS,

BUT I
HAVE FEELINGS TOO,

AND--AND...

I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO START GOING OUT

WITH MR. DOWN UNDER
INSTEAD OF ME.

♪ BAA BAA, LLAMA,
HAVE YOU ANY WOOL? ♪

KUZCO, I APPRECIATE
YOUR HONESTY, REALLY,

BUT I'M NOT
GOING OUT WITH ANYONE.

IT'S NOT LIKE
WE'RE A COUPLE.

I MEAN, COME ON,
JUST BECAUSE RAMON

IS SUAVE AND HANDSOME
AND GOOD-LOOKING--

OK, OK, STOP ALREADY.
I GET IT.

COME ON, RAMON,

AND THANKS FOR THE MOST
IMPERFECT, BUT FUN DATE
I'VE EVER HAD.

DE NADA, SEÑORITA.

HEY, HE'S FAKING!

HE'S NOT SCARED
OF CLOWNS.

HOLD ON THERE, BUDDY.

LET HIM GO.

NOW'S NOT THE TIME.

OUR DAY WILL COME.

OUR DAY? WHAT
DO YOU MEAN, OUR DAY?

YOU KNOW, FOR YOU
TO FACE DOWN RAMON,

AND FOR ME...

YEAH?
THE CLOWNS.

THE CLOWN
IS GOING DOWN!

WHOA-AH! HYAH!

HYAH!

Kuzco:
♪ DATE, DATE, D-D-D-DATE ♪

♪ DATE, DATE,
D-D-DATE, DATE ♪

♪ DATE, DATE,
D-D-D-DATE, DATE ♪

♪ DATE, DATE,
D-D-DATE, DATE ♪

KUZCO, I TOLD YOU,

IT'S NOT A DATE.

YOUR WORDS SAY NO,

BUT YOUR BODI AND MUDKA'S
ORIGINAL MEAT HUT EXPRESS
NUMBER 12 SAYS YES.

OK, I WAS COMING HERE
FOR LUNCH, AND
YOU RAN AFTER ME.

HOW EXACTLY
IS THAT A DATE?

YOU WANT VISUAL AIDS?

KUZCO, YOU WERE
DISGUISED AS A BUSH,

WAITING FOR ME
TO WALK PAST.

WAS NOT.

I'M JUST AHEAD OF THE TREND
WITH MY BUSH PANTS.

UGH, I JUST WISH THEY'D
GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER

AND SEAT US SO WE
CAN GET THIS OVER WITH.

MAN, HOW LONG
HAVE THEY BEEN WAITING?

I GOTTA TELL YOU, SO FAR,

NOT SUCH A GREAT DATE.

IT'S NOT A DATE!

MALINA,
PARTY OF ONE!

THAT'S, UH, PARTY OF 2.

WOW, A DATE AND A PARTY.

IT'S NOT A DATE.

WE'RE READY WHEN--

CAN WE ORDER NOW--

A SALAD STEIN AND--

A SIDE OF PICKLED--

[GROWLS]

GUESS YOU'RE NOT
THE ONLY ONE WHO
DOESN'T LISTEN TO ME.

[THINKING]
♪ WHAT DO I WANT TO EAT? ♪

♪ A SALTY PATTY TREAT ♪

YOU KNOW, I WOULD NEVER
GIVE SERVICE LIKE THIS.

OH, SCOOCH, HON,
MY DOGS ARE KILLING ME.

FINALLY.

I WANT
THE MUG OF MEAT AND--

OH, NO, HON,
YOU DON'T WANT THAT.

IT'S FULL OF MEAT.

OOH, SOUNDS MEATY-LICIOUS.

YOU KNOW THAT EVERY
BURGER, EVERY NUGGET

WAS ONCE A BEAUTIFUL
LIVING CREATURE?

WELL, MAYBE
NOT THE NUGGETS.

THOSE ARE ACTUALLY
MADE FROM GLUE, BUT--

ORDER'S UP. 2 SEA SWIMMERS
ON A RAFT WITH A SUNSPOT.

DING!

HOLD THAT THOUGHT, HON.

BUT WE DIDN'T EVEN ORDER.

MAN, I NEVER NOTICED
MUDKA'S WAS SO INEFFICIENT.

I COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER
IF I WORKED HERE.

OOH, IF YOU WORKED HERE...

OPEN UP.
IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT.

KUZCO!

WERE YOU
JUST DREAMING ABOUT ME

IN SOME
HOTTIE WAITRESS OUTFIT?

NO, I WAS DREAMING ABOUT YOU
IN A HOTTIE NURSE'S OUTFIT.

THAT DOESN'T
EVEN MAKE SENSE.

HEY, I LIKE WHAT I LIKE.

WAITRESSING IS NOT
ABOUT BEING A HOTTIE,

IT'S ABOUT BEING
EFFICIENT, LIKE ME.

OH, AND THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT THIS PLACE NEEDS.

WELCOME ABOARD, LINA!

CAN I CALL YOU LINA?

YOU KNOW, MUDKA'S
DOESN'T PAY CHICKEN FEED,

BUT IT'S
A GREAT PLACE TO WORK.

BREAKS WHENEVER YOU WANT,

AND NOW 2 WAITRESSES
MEANS HALF THE WORK.

I GOTTA CATCH UP
ON GUACA'S RASH,

TU'S IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND,

AND--I'M JUST SO EXCITED
YOU'RE WORKING HERE.

WE'RE GOING
TO BE BEST FRIENDS.

I CAN ALWAYS USE
THE EXTRA MONEY,

BUT MY MISSION HERE
IS SIMPLE--

IMPROVE THE SYSTEM,
ENHANCE EFFICIENCY,

IMPOSE ORDER ON CHAOS.

UH, OK...AND CUXI'S
LLAMA HAIR EXTENSIONS.

NOT WHILE
CUSTOMERS ARE WAITING.

OH, YEAH, LINA, TOTALLY.

YOUR MENU.
YOUR WATER. YOUR ORDER?

YEAH, CAN I GET A--

MEAT MUG, HEAVY ON THE MEAT.

WOW, THAT'S EFFICIENT.

SO, WHERE'S
YOUR NURSE'S OUTFIT?
BECAUSE, UH--

CAN'T TALK. GOTTA WORK.

IT'S ABOUT TIME!

AND FOR OUR FAVORITE
DRILL SWEETIE,

ARMADILLO MILK
IN A COCONUT SHELL.

I ORDERED COCONUT MILK
IN AN ARMADILLO SHELL!

GREAT. I MILKED
THAT ARMADILLO FOR NOTHING.

DING.

ORDER UP. HOT PILL BUG HERO.

HEY, GUACA, SWEETIE,

HOW'S THAT RASH?

OH, NEW HAIR GEL, KAVO?

WAIT TILL
I TELL THE GIRLS.

CUXI, DID YOU HEAR
ABOUT GUACA'S RASH?

HERE YOU GO, HON,
COLD PILL BUG HERO.

TAKE YOUR ORDER?

OH, SURE COULD USE
A CUP OF JAVA, HON.

A 1, 3, AND 4 FOR TABLE 2.

A 2 AND A 5 FOR TABLE 3,

AND A 6 FOR YATTA.

WHOA, WHOA, STOP THERE.

YOU DIDN'T USE
THE DINER SLANG.

YOU KNOW, YOU CALL
MEATLOAF AND MILK

"COW IN A PAN
WITH A MOO-MOO CHASER."

AND THEN I COOK IT UP
AND GO, "DING!"

IT'S FUN.

IT'S JUST FASTER
TO SAY NUMBER 3.

BUT NOT AS FUN.

WE HERE TO HAVE FUN
OR SERVE FOOD?

I THOUGHT
WE COULD DO BOTH.

DING.

SO, MALINA,
I WAS THINKING--

YOU WANT TO TALK,
YOU GOTTA KEEP ORDERING.

I'M NOT SURE
I LIKE EFFICIENT.

GREAT, THERE'S SOME
NUMBER 3 IN MY NUMBER 4.

HUH, I DON'T GET IT.

ONE MEATLOAF, HOLD THE MEAT.

BUT THAT'S JUST LOAF.

HOWDY!

SWEET POTATO FRIES,
IT'S MUDKA JUNIOR!

HERE!

I KEEP AN EYE
ON ALL MY LOCATIONS,

FROM THE FINEST
OF THE FINE,

CHEZ MUDKA'S,

TO THE LOWEST OF THE LOW,

LIKE, UH, WELL, THIS PLACE.

WHO IS THAT?

OH, THAT'S MALINA.

SHE'S GOT A LOT OF SPUNK.

STILL WORKING ON
HER DINER SLANG, THOUGH.

DING!

I LIKE HER FORM.

SHE MOVES QUICK,
KEEPS THE FLOW
OF CUSTOMERS MOVING.

EXCUSE ME!

MISS? HELLO?

THEY DIDN'T EVEN THINK
IT WAS A RASH AT FIRST

'CAUSE HE WAS AS BIG
AS A LITTER OF PIGS.

AND WHO'S THAT?

OH, THAT'S YATTA.

SHE'S, UH--YATTA,
A REAL SWEETHEART

WITH THE, UH,
GIFT OF GAB.

[GASPS] LOOK!

IT'S MUDKA JUNIOR!

I JUST LIKE
TO SHOUT!

HELLO, FOLKS!

I AM HERE TO HOST
TONIGHT'S EMPLOYEE
OF THE MONTH-KA

CELEBRATION CELEBRATION

BECAUSE AT MUDKA'S
OUR EMPLOYEES
ARE LIKE FAMILY.

WE FEEL THAT WAY, TOO.

YOU, YOU'RE FIRED!

BUT I--I--

I'VE WORKED HERE
FOR 5 YEARS.

AND I DO APOLOGIZE
FOR NOT HAVING DONE IT
SOONER,

BUT I AM A BUSY MAN.

YOUR APRON, PLEASE.

NOW, THIS HERE IS
AN EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
C-CONTENDER.

NOT SAYING WHO WON YET,

BUT IF THIS
WERE A HORSE RACE,

MY MONEY WOULD BE
ON THIS LITTLE FILLY
RIGHT HERE.

PLUS, THERE
ARE ONLY 2 WAITRESSES
AND ONE JUST GOT FIRED.

[SOBBING]

OH, NO, THIS IS HORRIBLE.

YOU'RE TELLING ME.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN
THAT LAST MEAN BEAN SURPRISE.

[STOMACH RUMBLES]

YATTA, I AM SO SORRY.

IN MY CUSTOMARY
STRIVING FOR PERFECTION

WITH BLINDERS ON,

I NEVER MEANT
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.

THIS WAS MORE
THAN A JOB TO ME,

IT'S IN MY BLOOD.

MY MATTA, MY GRANDMATTA,

MY UNFORTUNATELY NAMED
UNCLE MATTA,

THEY WERE ALL
WAITRESSES AT MUDKA'S.

WOW, SO, WE'RE
TALKING GENERATIONS
OF BAD SERVICE HERE?

KUZCO!

HEY, I'M JUST
TRYING TO HELP.

WHY?

ONE, BECAUSE YOU'RE
A HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.

AND B, BECAUSE IF I EAT
ONE MORE MEAT PARFAIT,

THEY'RE GOING
TO NAME IT AFTER ME.

WAIT, THAT'D BE COOL.

SO, WHAT CAN
WE DO, Y'ALL?

I DON'T KNOW.

I COULD TRY
TO TRAIN YOU,

BUT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO GET YOU AS EFFICIENT
AS I AM IN TIME.

UH, THERE'S MORE
TO WAITRESSING
THAN EFFICIENCY,

LIKE HOSPITALITY.

SHE'S RIGHT.

YOUR TABLE-SIDE MANNER
STINKS LIKE
DAY-OLD MEAT MUGS.

SORRY, YATTA,
I DIDN'T MEAN TO--

HEY, THAT'S IT!

WE SHOW MUDKA JUNIOR
YOUR BAD SIDE,

GET YOU FIRED...

AND I GET
MY JOB BACK!

AND I GET MY DATE BACK.

IT'S NOT A DATE.

AND, OK, KUZCO,
I'LL TRY,

BUT I DON'T KNOW
THE FIRST THING ABOUT
BEING A BAD WAITRESS.

LEAVE THAT TO ME.

I'M GREAT AT EVERYTHING,

INCLUDING BEING AWFUL.

THAT DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT.

NOW LET'S GET WORKING.

BUT FIRST, CAN ONE OF YOU
GET ME A REFILL?

THAT'S THE SPIRIT, MALINA!

♪ AND THAT'S WHY
THEY CALL IT ♪

♪ ANY WAY YOU HAUL IT ♪

♪ THAT'S WHY
THEY CALL IT CHEESE! ♪

YEAH!

CAPTAIN HANDSOME
TO FOXY NURSE,

GOT YOUR EARS ON?

I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,

BUT I TOTALLY
JUST GAVE THAT GUY

A SALAD FORK
INSTEAD OF A DINNER FORK.

AND I ORDERED HIS STEAK
MEDIUM, NOT MEDIUM WELL.

THEY ARE DEFINITELY
GOING TO UNDER-TIP ME.

MALINA, I HATE TO BE
THE ONE TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT YOU ARE A FAILURE
AT BEING A FAILURE.

JUST DO EXACTLY
WHAT I TELL YOU.

LET ME GUESS,
THE PEASANT SPECIAL,
AND YOU HAVE A COUPON?

YOU WANT TO TAKE
THE REST TO GO?

I CAN PUT IT
IN A FEEDBAG FOR YOU.

GET OUT OF HERE,
YOU STUPID PIG!

GO ON, BEAT IT, YOU
UNCLEAN, MUD-LOVING PORKER!

[OINK]

UM, EXCUSE ME, BUT
MY POTATOES ARE COLD.

FEEL FINE TO ME.

YOUR PIE.

KAVO'S SODA'S FLAT.

THERE YOU GO.

EXCUSE ME! THERE IS
A FLY IN HIS SOUP!

WHAT? I SUPPOSE
YOU WANT ONE, TOO?

THAT JOKE
IS OLDER THAN YOU.

FOLKS, FRIENDS, LOYAL,
DEEP-POCKETED CUSTOMERS,

IT IS TIME TO PRESENT

MUDKA'S EMPLOYEE OF
THE MONTH-KA AWARD TO--

I HAVE NEVER
BEEN SO INSULTED.

YOU'LL BE HEARING
FROM MY LAWYER!

I STILL LIKE TO SHOUT!

MALINA, WHAT IN
THE NAME OF MEAT MUGS
IS GOING ON HERE?

OOPSY!
I CAN EXPLAIN.

MALINA, YOU ARE FIRED!

GROOVY, AND THAT MEANS
YOU CAN REHIRE YATTA.

[LAUGHS]

WHY IN TARNATION WOULD
I FIRE ONE GRADE-D EMPLOYEE

JUST TO REHIRE ANOTHER ONE?

'CAUSE I'M HOMEY,

AND THAT'S
WHAT THIS PLACE NEEDS.

SHE'S RIGHT.

WHEN I GET MY BREAKFAST
SERVED BY YATTA,

I START MY DAY KNOWING
IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER.

I LIKE THAT YATTA
WILL STAND AROUND
YAKKING WITH ME

WHEN SHE KNOWS
THAT THERE ARE
ANGRY CUSTOMERS

WAITING FOR THEIR FOOD.

YATTA'S SO FLAWED, SHE MAKES
ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.

AW, AIN'T Y'ALL
JUST THE SWEETEST?

All: WE WANT YATTA!

WE WANT YATTA!

WE WANT YATTA!

WE WANT YATTA!

OH, FINE!
KEEP YOUR JOB!

BUT I AM KEEPING THIS!

[ALL CHEERING]

YAY! A RETURN TO MEDIOCRE,
BUT PREDICTABLE SERVICE.

THANKS, LINA.

OH, WHAT ARE
FRIENDS FOR?

LET'S MOVE IT, KRONK.

GOTTA HUSTLE!

CUSTOMERS ARE WAITING.

LUKEWARM TAP WATER
FOR EVERYONE!

DING!

[APPLAUSE]

GREAT, YATTA'S
GOT HER JOB BACK,

AND WE MIGHT GET SLIGHTLY
MORE EFFICIENT SERVICE.

KUZCO,
YOU REALLY HELPED.

THANKS.

SO, HOW'D YOU
LIKE TO FINALLY

HAVE THAT
DATEY-DATE-DATE TONIGHT?

DINNER? MY TREAT.

I WOULD LOVE TO.

[STOMACH RUMBLES]

BUT I THINK MY STOMACH
HAS OTHER PLANS.

MAKE WAY!

Kronk: WELCOME
TO MUDKA'S MEAT BARREL,

HOME OF THE SALTY PATTY
TREAT. TAKE YOUR ORDER?

YEAH, HI.

CAN I GET A MEAT MUG BUCKET,
SUPER MEATY SIZED,

WITH MEAT FRIES
AND A MEAT SHAKE,

AND A SALAD
WITH MEAT DRESSING.

EH, HOLD THE SALAD.

BUT I STILL WANT
THE DRESSING.

Kronk:
THAT'LL BE 12 KUZCOINS.

PLEASE DRIVE THROUGH.

CALL ME CRAZY,

BUT I DON'T THINK
THIS IS GOING TO CATCH ON.

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