The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 8 - Kuzclone - full transcript

HOLA, TV FRIENDS.

THAT'S RIGHT.
EVERYBODY OUT THERE
IS MY VERY GOOD TV FRIEND.

AREN'T YOU ALL LUCKY?
YOU'RE ALL MY FRIENDS.

OKEYDOKEY. THEME MUSIC.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪

YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪



EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪



♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

WOULD YOU LOOK AT ME?

ANOTHER FINE MESS
I'VE GOTTEN MYSELF INTO.

YOU EVER HEARD THE PHRASE,

"YOU CAN LEAD A LLAMA TO WATER,
BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE IT DRINK"?

WELL, FRANKLY, I HAVE
NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.

HOWEVER,
THERE IS ANOTHER PHRASE.
"YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY."

AND THAT'S TODAY'S
LESSONS, KUZKETEERS.

I'M STUCK HANGING ON THIS WALL
WHILE ANOTHER ME RUINS MY LIFE.

OR HIS LIFE OR OUR LIFE.
IT'S SORT OF HARD TO EXPLAIN.

BUT IT'LL MAKE SENSE
IF YOU JUST GO BACK
TO A LITTLE EARLIER TODAY.

OH. SORRY.
EARLIER TODAY, I WAS
ALREADY HANGING ON THIS WAY.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
EARLIER YESTERDAY
WHEN MR. MOLOGUACO SAID...

FOR TONIGHT'S HOMEWORK,
YOU'RE TO WRITE A PAPER
ON "MY BEST FRIEND."

I DON'T KNOW
YOUR BEST FRIEND.

NOT MY BEST FRIEND,
YOUR BEST FRIEND.

BUT YOU SAID
"MY BEST FRIEND."

RIGHT.

YET YOU MEANT
YOUR BEST FRIEND?

EXACTLY.

ARE YOU FOLLOWING THIS?

NO. BUT I'M TAKING NOTES.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WRITE
A PAPER ENTITLED
"MY BEST FRIEND"

ABOUTYOUR BEST FRIEND.

WHAT ABOUT
MR. MOLOGUACO'S FRIEND?

YEAH, HE STARTED IT.

PLEASE RING.

YEP. IT'S ALREADY TIME
FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE I GET TO WRITE MY
"MY BEST FRIEND" PAPER.

WELL, THAT'S EASY.

MALINA, A.K.A.
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE,

IS MY BEST FRIEND.

OF COURSE SHE'S BEST FRIENDS
WITH CUCSIE, CURIE, AND CUKA.

SO THAT DOESN'T WORK.

THEN I GUESS MY BEST FRIEND
IS DEFINITELY PACHA.

OF COURSE HE LIKES HIS WIFE
AND HIS KIDS AND MISTY.

WHAT'S UP WITH HIM LIKING
THE LLAMA BETTER THAN ME?

THERE'S BUCKY.

UH, NO.

THAT LEAVES KRONK.

HMM. MAYBE HE COULD BE
MY BEST FRIEND

IF I GAVE HIM
LIKE COOLER CLOTHES

AND A MOTORCYCLE
WITH A SIDECAR,

AND HE HAD
ALL THE LATEST STUFF.

OF COURSE YZMA'S
HIS BEST FRIEND.
GO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.

WHO'D WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS
WITH AN OLD DINOSAUR LIKE HER?

RAGGGH!

I'M THE YZMASAURUS REX.

WRINKLIEST DINOSAUR
TO EVER LIVE.

RAGGGH!

HA HA HA! YEAH,
SHE'S PRETTY WRINKLY.

OK, SO, WHO IS
MY BEST FRIEND?

HOW'S IT GOING?
NEED ANY HELP?

YOU'RE WRITING A "BEST
FRIEND" PAPER, ARE YOU?

I BET YOU MIGHT NEED HELP
'CAUSE YOU KEEP WRITING
AND ERASING

AND WRITING AND ERASING
AND WRITING AND ERASING--

I DON'T NEED ANY HELP.

DO EMPERORS
EVEN HAVE BEST FRIENDS?

YES. AND I'M WRITING
AND ERASING AND WRITING
AND ERASING SO MUCH

BECAUSE I CAN'T DECIDE WHICH
OF MY EVER SO MANY BEST FRIENDS
TO WRITE ABOUT.

SO WHICH ONE DID YOU PICK?

HUH? OH.

UH, I PICKED...

BREAD. UH, BRAD.

BRAD WHO?

RIGHT. RIGHT. BRAD WHO?

HMM.

BRAD...

BOW...

LLAMA.

BRAD BOWLLAMA?

I'VE NEVER HEARD
OF A BRAD BOWLLAMA.

YEAH. THAT'S BECAUSE
HE'S ALLERGIC

TO LITTLE GIRLS
WITH SQUEAKY HIGH VOICES.

BUT THAT'S HIS NAME,
AND THAT'S THE TITLE
OF MY PAPER.

"'BRAD BOWLLAMA,

MY SUPER COOL
AND FUNNY BEST FRIEND,'
BY KUZCO."

AHEM. "BRAD BOWLLAMA
IS SUPER COOL AND FUNNY,

"AND HE USED TO BE
AN EMPEROR, AND HE'S FUNNY.

"HE LIKES
EVERYTHING I LIKE,

"AND HE HATES CAULIFLOWER,
WHICH I HATE, TOO.

"HE DOESN'T LIKE
YZMA EITHER.

"HE THINKS MALINA IS
A HOTTIE HOT HOT HOT HOTTIE

"AND SHOULD SPEND
MORE TIME WITH KUZCO.

"AND DID I MENTION HE'S
SUPER COOL AND HE'S FUNNY?
BECAUSE HE IS.

THE END."

ISN'T HE GREAT?

THAT BRAD SOUNDS AWESOME.

I WISH HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND
INSTEAD OF YZMASAURUS.

THERE'S NO SUCH PERSON,
KRONK. HE MADE IT UP.

WHAT DID YOU DO,

LOOK AT A BOWL
AND A LLAMA AND
MAKE UP THAT STUPID NAME?

I'M SURPRISED HIS NAME
ISN'T BRAD BANANA
STAIRCASE HAT.

THAT'S DUMB.

KUZCO,
DID YOU MAKE THIS UP?

UH...

YOU KNOW,
IT'S OK NOT TO HAVE
A BEST FRIEND. I DON'T.

BUT I DO. BRAD, UH...

BOWLLAMA.

RIGHT. SEE?
KRONK EVEN KNOWS HIM.

THEN YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK I'D LIKE

TO MEET THIS SUPER COOL
AND FUNNY BEST FRIEND
OF YOURS.

WELL, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
HE WANTS TO MEET YOU?

I MEAN, WITH THAT ATTITUDE.

BECAUSE I'M SURE
HE WOULDN'T WANT TO LET
HIS BEST FRIEND KUZCO DOWN.

AND IF YOU FAIL
TO PRESENT HIM,

THEN I'LL HAVE NO CHOICE
BUT TO GRADE YOUR PAPER
ACCORDINGLY.

YOU, UH, WANTED TO SEE ME,
PRINCIPAL ANTSY?

GET IN HERE, KRONK.

LOOK, I WASN'T CHEATING.

I WAS STRETCHING
MY NECK MUSCLES.
GOT A PINCHED NERVE.

KRONK, IT'S ME.

WOW. ALL RIGHT,
THEN WHO AM I?

Girl: AAH!

YOU'RE KRONK
IN UNDERWEAR.

AAH!

I FINALLY GOT
THE PERFECT PLAN
TO FAIL KUZCO.

TO THE SECRET LAB.

PULL THE LEVER, KRONK.

YOU MIND?
I'M SORT OF...SHY.

Voice: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE,

WE ASK THAT YOU
OBSERVE ALL SECRET LAB
SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS.

SORRY FOR
THE HOLD-UP, FOLKS.

THERE SEEMS TO BE
A SLOW-MOVING TRAIN
UP AHEAD.

THANK YOU FOR WAITING.

HA-HA! WHEE!

I'VE DONE IT
THIS TIME, KRONK.

JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

AAH.

WHEW.

ONCE YOU SPRAY KUZCO
WITH THIS POTION,

IT WILL CREATE
A KUZCO CLONE.

ANOTHER KUZCO.

THAT SEEMS
TO GO AGAINST THE WHOLE
"GETTING RID OF HIM" THING.

AH. BUT HERE'S THE TWIST.

THE KUZCO CLONE
IS PROGRAMMED TO...

1--TAKE OVER KUZCO'S LIFE,

THEN B--FAIL
ALL HIS CLASSES.

OH, I GET IT.

[TICKING]

[BUZZER]

ACTUALLY, I DON'T GET IT.

YOU SNEAK TO PACHA'S HOUSE

AND SPRAY KUZCO
THROUGH THE WINDOW
WITH THE CLONING POTION.

ONCE THE CLONE IS CREATED,
YOU CLIMB THROUGH THE WINDOW

AND BRING THE REAL
KUZCO BACK HERE
AND LOCK HIM UP,

THUS LEAVING
THE KUZCO CLONE BEHIND.

THEN THE KUZ CLONE,
AS WE'LL CALL HIM,

WILL FOOL EVERYONE
INTO THINKING HE'S KUZCO

AND FLUNK
OUT OF KUZCO ACADEMY.

IT'S BRILLIANT.
BRILLLLIANT.

YEAH, COULD YOU
WRITE THAT DOWN FOR ME?

THE, UH, BULLET POINTS.

JUST GO, KRONK.

AND DON'T MESS THINGS UP.

TIPTOE, TIPTOE, HIDE.

TIPTOE, TIPTOE, HIDE.

TIPTOE, TIPTOE, HIDE.

TIPTOE, TIPTOE, DISGUISE.

IF THERE'S A HAIR
GROWING OUT OF IT,

I'D LEAVE IT ALONE.

CLIMB, CLIMB,
CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB.

CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB,
CLIMB, CLIMB.

SNEAK, SNEAK, SNEAK.

DIVE.

OH, OH, LEAP.

LADDER.

UP, UP, UP, UP, UP.
AND LOOK.

LET'S SEE. I COULD
ASK PACHA TO DRESS UP
AS MY BEST FRIEND.

BUT HE'S NOT SUPER COOL
OR FUNNY OR USED
TO BE AN EMPEROR.

HMM. MAYBE I'LL FIRST MAKE
A LIST OF EVERYONE I KNOW

WHO IS SUPER COOL
AND FUNNY AND AN EMPEROR.

OK. HERE I GO.

THERE'S...

ME.

THAT'S ONE.

AND THERE'S ME. THAT'S TWO.

OK. THIS IS WEIRD.

OK. THIS IS WEIRD.

OK. NOW IT'S WEIRDER.

OK. NOW IT'S WEIRDER.

YOU JUST SAY
EVERYTHING I SAY?

NO.

OK, I'M CONCENTRATING.

FIRST I SPRAY KUZCO
THROUGH THE WINDOW
WITH THE CLONING POTION.

CHECK. NEXT PART
OF THE PLAN.

I CLIMB THROUGH THE WINDOW
AND TAKE THE REAL KUZCO
AND LEAVE THE CLONE.

THROUGH THE WINDOW.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN,
DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.

AAH!

HEY, KRONK.

THE KRONKSTER.

KRONKITY-KRONK-KRONK.

THE BIG K.

SENOR SPINACH PUFF.

YZMA'S NUMBER 1.

KRONK, NICE
OF YOU TO KNOCK.

DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO DO WITH THIS?

I GOT TO GO.

RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY,
RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY.

I DON'T KNOW.

I WAS SITTING THERE
AND THEN...POOF!
THERE'S ANOTHER ME.

AND AT FIRST I'M LIKE,
"THIS TOTALLY CREEPS ME OUT."

BUT THEN I'M LIKE,
"HEY, I TOTALLY GET
ALONG WITH THIS GUY."

KUZCO, HOW DO I KNOW
WHICH ONE'S REALLY YOU?

EASY. I NAMED HIM BRAD.
SAY HELLO, BRAD.

HELLO, BRAD.

THAT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE
IT'S THE KIND OF JOKE
I WOULD MAKE.

WAS KRONK HERE?

I JUST SAW KRONK
RUNNING DOWN THE--

HEY, PACHA. THIS IS
MY NEW BEST FRIEND BRAD.

BUT WHAT'S--

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I DON'T THINK
I CAN HANDLE TWO OF THEM.

UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.

Both: UH-HUH,
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YET HERE HE IS,
MR. DOUBTYMcDOUBTERIN.
IN THE FLESH.

MY BEST FRIEND
BRAD BOWLLAMA.

HOW'S IT GOING, MR. M.?

KUZCO, ISN'T IT A BIT ODD
THAT HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU

AND SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOU
AND ACTS JUST LIKE YOU?

HELLO. THAT'S PART
OF HIS SUPER COOLNESS.

HERE. WATCH OUR SECRET
BEST FRIEND HANDSHAKE
WE MADE UP.

NOT SO SECRET NOW
THAT YOU'VE SHOWN
THE ENTIRE CLASS.

HMM. DON'T YOU THINK
THE NEW GUY LOOKS EXACTLY
LIKE KUZCO? WEIRD.

HOW WOULD I KNOW?
I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

CERTAINLY DOESN'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH YZMA.

I MEAN, I DON'T KEEP TRACK
OF EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES.

HMM. WHERE
IS SHE RIGHT NOW?

WELL, LET'S SEE.
10:00, HAIR. 10:30, NAILS.

11:00, ANTI-WRINKLE TREATMENT.
I MEAN I DON'T KNOW!

HEY. LITTLE MISTAKE.

THIS IS MY LOCKER.

NO, IT'S MY LOCKER.

YEAH, RIGHT.
THEN HOW COME MY NAME...

UH, YOUR NAME
IS ON EVERYTHING?

HEY, DID YOU GUYS
HEAR THE ONE
ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRL

WHOSE LLAMA
TOOK HER DOLLY?

SHE YELLED--
GIVE ME BACK MY DOLLY, LLAMA.

YEAH, I LOVE THAT ONE.

RIGHT. YEAH. WAY TO STEAL
A PUNCH LINE, BRAD.

OK. HOW MANY YZMAS
DOES IT TAKE

TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?

NONE. 'CAUSE SHE
TURNED IT INTO A LLAMA.

THAT'S FUNNY,
'CAUSE IT'S TRUE.

OK.

I SHOT A LLAMA
IN MY PONCHO.

WHAT HE WAS DOING
IN MY PONCHO I'LL NEVER KNOW.

[SHIP'S HORN BLOWS]

THAT'S NOT FUNNY
AT ALL, KUZCO.

INJURING AN INNOCENT LLAMA.
WHERE'S THE HUMOR IN THAT?

PITIFUL.

BUT...BUT...

COME ON. IT'S FUNNY. RIGHT?

HAV-YAY, OOH-YAY,
IN-SAY YOU KNOW WHO-AY

AROUND-AY?

WELL, ACTUALLY--

GOOD. BECAUSE
BRAD'S LIKE--UGH!
HOW CAN I DESCRIBE THIS?

YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE HE'S GOT
A STEERING WHEEL THINGY,

AND HE'S USING IT
TO TAKE ME SOMEWHERE
THAT'S KOOKY AND WACKO-LIKE.

I'M MAKING SENSE?

BRAD'S DRIVING YOU CRAZY.

RIGHT.

TAKING MY LOCKER,
USING MY JOKES.

IT'S LIKE HE'S GOT
SOME EVIL PLAN TO TAKE OVER
MY LIFE AND RUIN IT.

SO, UH, HOW ABOUT
YOU AND ME WALK
BACK TO THE VILLAGE?

I'LL CARRY YOUR BOOKS.

HALFWAY.

HEY, MALINA.
GOT YOUR BOOKS?

YOU READY TO HEAD ON
BACK TO THE VILLAGE?

UM, I THOUGHT
IT WAS YOU.

HEY, BEST FRIEND.
WE NEED TO TALK.

WILL YOU EXCUSE US
FOR A MINUTE? TWO QUESTIONS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING AND--

UH, OK.
JUST ONE QUESTION.

MALINA'S SUCH
A HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE,

I EVEN MADE UP
A SONG ABOUT HER.

YOU WANNA HEAR IT?
NO, NO. NO SINGY.

AND YOU NO THINKY THAT.
ONLY I THINKY HOTTIE.

WE SHARE EVERYTHING, RIGHT?
WE'RE BEST FRIENDS.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
MY BEST FRIEND.

BUT YOU'RE REALLY
JUST A FRIEND STEALER.

SO YOU CAN JUST GO FIND
ANOTHER BEST FRIEND
SOMEWHERE ELSE.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,
THAT OUR FRIENDSHIP'S OVER,
THAT I'M YESTERDAY'S NEWS?

"DON'T CALL ME.
I'LL CALL YOU"? I GOT MORE.

NO, NO. COULDN'T HAVE
SAID IT BETTER MYSELF.

SO GO ON.
GET OUT OF HERE. BYE-BYE.

KUZCO, ARE YOU OK?

I MEAN, LIKE,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT'S THE STORY
WITH THAT BRAD GUY?

I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.

SO WHO'S
CARRYING MY BOOKS?

HEY, YOU COMING IN
FOR DINNER?

IT'S A MYSTERY STEW NIGHT.

NAH. I'M NOT HUNGRY.

YOU KNOW, I RAN
INTO MALINA.

SHE TOLD ME ABOUT BRAD.

YOU GUYS DIDN'T GET
ALONG SO WELL, HUH?

YEAH. SOME BEST FRIEND
HE TURNED OUT TO BE.

WELL, FRIENDS AREN'T MADE
OVER NIGHT, KUZCO,

ESPECIALLY BEST FRIENDS.

WHAT IF I PAID SOMEONE
TO BE MY BEST FRIEND?
WOULD THAT WORK?

KUZCO, YOU EARN
BEST FRIENDS OVER TIME,
THROUGH TRUST.

THEY'RE FRIENDS
YOU CAN COUNT ON

WHO ARE ALWAYS THERE
WHEN YOU NEED 'EM.

WELL, I DON'T NEED ANY FRIENDS,
ESPECIALLY BEST FRIENDS,

'CAUSE I'M EMPEROR AND EMPERORS
DON'T NEED BEST FRIENDS

'CAUSE THEY ALREADY HAVE
EVERYTHING THEY NEED.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT I JUST SAID?
I THINK IT MADE SENSE.

YOU SAID YOU DON'T
NEED A BEST FRIEND.

SO I GUESS THERE'S
NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

EHH.

OOMPAH!

OHH.

HEY, LET ME OUT OF HERE.

AAH. WHO'S THAT?
OH. THAT'S ME.

HI, ME.

UH, HI THERE.

WOW. THAT LAST SCENE DIDN'T
HAVE ANY FUN STUFF AT ALL.

NO FUNNY.
JUST DEPRESSING.

AND THAT WHOLE
"FRIEND" SPEECH

AND THEN ME
GETTING SACK-NAPPED.

BUT YOU GUYS
ARE MY FRIENDS, RIGHT?

SO BEFORE WE GO TO BREAK,

I THOUGHT I'D LIGHTEN THE MOOD
WITH A LITTLE SING-ALONG
KARAOKE THINGY

ABOUT HOW GREAT
A FRIEND I AM.

OK, SO THIS IS CALLED
THE "KUZCO MAMBO."

AND EVERY TIME YOU SEE
THE PICTURE OF ME FLASH
ON THE LITTLE SCREEN LIKE THIS,

I WANT ALL OF YOU
TO SCREAM "KUZCO!"

OK? GOOD.
THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.

SO GO, GO, KUZCO MAMBO!

♪ WHO'S THE BEST FRIEND
YOU KNOW? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪

♪ WHO IS MALINA'S BEAU? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪

♪ WHO HAS GOT
HIS OWN SHOW? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪

♪ THAT'S ME ♪

CHA-CHA-CHA!

OK. NOW THIS SIDE
OF THE TV.

♪ WHO'S THE BEST FRIEND
YOU KNOW? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪
OK, NOW THIS SIDE.

♪ WHO'S MALINA'S BEAU? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪
OK, NOW EVERYBODY.

♪ WHO HAS GOT
HIS OWN SHOW? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪

♪ THAT'S ME ♪

CHA-CHA-CHA!

SO THIS IS
WHERE WE STARTED.

I WAS SACK-NAPPED BY YZMA,

AND NOW I'M
HANGING HERE ON THE WALL
IN HER SECRET LAB

WITH NO BEST FRIEND.

MEANWHILE, BRAD HAS
CONVINCED EVERYONE

THAT HE IS ME,

AND YZMA'S COMMANDED HIM
TO RUIN MY PERFECT
C-MINUS AVERAGE.

Woman: TODAY IN
GYM CLASS...DODGEBALL.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

OH, LOOK AT
THESE PITIFUL GRADES.

THE KUZ CLONE'S
FAILING SO BAD,

HE GOT A G-.

SAY, YZMA,
AREN'T YOU, UH,

SITTING AT
PRINCIPAL ANTSY'S DESK?

KRONK, DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

I AM PRINCIPAL ANTSY.

WOW. THAT'S A GOOD TRICK.
DO ANOTHER ONE.

OH. LIKE WHAT?

CIRCUS CLOWN! CIRCUS CLOWN!

OH-HA-HA!
NOW BE A FUNNY GUARD THING.

HERE'S A HARD ONE.

SEA MONSTER IN A TOP HAT
PLAYING A TUBA.

LADY, YOU ARE GOOD.

YES. BUT HERE'S THE OUTFIT
I'LL SOON BE WEARING.

EMPRESS YZMA!

AH-HA. AH-HA. HMM.

SO...YOU'RE HUNGRY?

NOT REALLY.
I HAD A BIG BREAKFAST.

'CAUSE I WAS THINKING
ABOUT HEADING OVER
TO MUKKER'S.

OH, MUKKER'S IS ALWAYS GOOD.
YOU GO ON. I'LL HOLD DOWN
THE FORT.

THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON,
MR. MOLOGUACO.

EVEN KUZCO ISN'T THIS DUMB.

HMM. YES, HE DID
ANSWER "MAYBE"

TO ALL THE
TRUE-AND-FALSE QUESTIONS.

USUALLY, HE JUST
CHEATS OFF YOU.

AND DID YOU NOTICE
HE APPEARS TO BE SHRINKING?

HEY, YOU. HEY, TWO.

LADIES, KRONK.

AAH! MALINA.

WHAT'S GOING ON, KRONK?

IT'S, UH, MANGO MADNESS
DAY IN THE CAFETERIA?

NO. I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING KUZCO.

I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

FIRST THERE WAS ONE KUZCO.
THEN THERE WERE TWO KUZCOS.

NOW WE'RE BACK TO THE ONE
HIGH-PITCHED MINIATURE KUZCO.

WELL, THAT'S STRANGE.
THE CLONING POTION WAS
ONLY SUPPOSED TO--AAH!

I MEAN, UH--
I DIDN'T MENTION
A CLONING POTION,

A POTION USED
TO CLONE KUZCO.

KUZCO CLONING POTION?

YEAH. THAT POTION.

DO YOU ALSO NOT KNOW
WHERE THE REAL KUZCO IS?

♪ WHO'S THE BEST FRIEND
YOU KNOW? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪

♪ WHO IS MALINA'S BEAU? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪

♪ WHO HAS GOT
HIS OWN SHOW? ♪

♪ KUZCO ♪

♪ THAT'S ME ♪

CHA-CHA-CHA. OHH!

KUZCO.

KUZCO, WHERE ARE YOU?

WHO? WHAT? MALINA?

AND PACHA AND KRONK?
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

WE'RE HERE TO GET YOU
OUT OF THIS MESS.

THAT'S WHAT
FRIENDS DO.

SOMETIMES I HELP YOU
GET IN 'EM,

BUT MALINA MADE ME FEEL
A LITTLE GUILTY,

SO I THOUGHT I'D HELP YOU
GET OUT OF ONE FOR A CHANGE.

YOU MEAN, YOU THREE
CAME TO RESCUE ME?

GOTCHA.

[SIREN BLARING]
NOW WHAT?

OH, WE TRIPPED THE ALARM.

AHH.

LOOKS PRETTY BAD.

EXCEPT WHAT'S UP
WITH THE BUG AND THE MONKEY?

IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT,
LET ME KNOW.

COME ON. LET'S
GET OUT OF HERE.

[WHISTLES]

YZMA'S GONNA MAKE ME
REBUILD ALL THAT.
I KNOW IT.

AND WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?

WELL, ARE YOU
GOING TO ANSWER?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

OH, SORRY.
WE THOUGHT IT WAS MAYBE
A RHETORICAL QUESTION.

YEAH, SHE'S STANDING THERE
LOOKING ALL SCARY AND ALL.

YEAH, IT'S KIND
OF CONFUSING.

WE DIDN'T THINK YOU
WANTED US TO ANSWER, SO...

WELL, WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?

OK, UH, WE'RE GOING...
TO GET A BURGER OVER
AT MUKKER'S MEAT HUT.

YOU WANNA COME WITH?

NAH. I WAS JUST THERE.

MAYBE I'LL CATCH UP
WITH YOU LATER.

OK, SOUNDS GOOD.

WOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU GUYS DID THAT. FOR ME.

HEY, IF YOU'RE
GONNA FAIL,

WE WANT YOU
TO DO IT YOURSELF.

YEAH. WHAT
ARE FRIENDS FOR?

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS,
AREN'T YOU?

YOU WERE THERE
WHEN I NEEDED YOU,

AND I CAN REALLY
COUNT ON YOU.

HEY, YOU'RE
MY BEST FRIENDS.

OH, I'M GONNA
WRITE A NEW PAPER,
AND I'M GONNA CALL IT...

"'MALINA, PACHA,
AND KRONK,

MY REAL SUPER COOL
BEST FRIENDS,' BY KUZCO."

AHEM.

"MALINA, PACHA, AND KRONK

"ARE MY REAL
SUPER COOL BEST FRIENDS.

THE END."

WELL, IT WON'T WIN
ANY LITERARY AWARDS,
BUT IT'S TO THE POINT.

BY THE WAY,

WHAT HAPPENED TO
THAT BOWL...BRADBLLAMA GUY?

AH, I'VE GOT
TO TRY AND PERFECT
THAT CLONING POTION.

WHAT FOR?
I CAN STILL PULL IT OFF.

BOOM-BAM!

IS IT ME OR ARE YOU
GETTING BIGGER?

DO I SOUND FUNNY TO YOU?

"'MY NEW BEST FRIEND,'
BY FLACO MOLOGUACO.

"I USED TO NOT
HAVE A BEST FRIEND
AND THAT WAS OK,

"BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I MET
MR. BANANA STAIRCASE HAT.

"HE'S SMART
AND HE'S A TEACHER,

"AND HE THINKS IT'S OK TO NOT
HAVE A BEST FRIEND, TOO,
JUST LIKE ME.

"WE BOTH LIKE WATCHING
THE END CREDITS.

ALL THOSE NAMES.
ALL THOSE PEOPLE.
WHY DO WE CARE?"

[BELCHES]
I'M SPEAKING.

"ALSO WE THINK THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING BETTER
THAN THE END CREDITS

AND THAT'S THE END LOGOS."