The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 14 - Clash of the Families - full transcript
Everybody expected Kuzco to wriggle out of the annual family day contest, but Mamina motivates him by promising him a dance with the winner. So Kuzco first tries to train with Pacha's family, which they grudgingly let him, only to be deserted when Kuzco can't understand that he just doesn't fit in the canoe. Kuzco sees Kronk's giant family as 'athletically superior', so he deserts to their team. However, Malina says that the contest is all about belonging and family loyalty. During the contest, Kuzco plays in both teams, feeling like a miserable cheat. Still, he gets his share of the prizes and participates in the dancing.
TODAY'S SHOW
IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY.
SO GO GET YOUR FAMILY
AND WATCH IT TOGETHER.
I'LL WAIT.
OK, I CAN'T WAIT. JUST
TELL THEM ABOUT IT LATER.
THEME MUSIC.
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪
♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪
♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪
♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪
YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪
EXACTLY!
LET'S GO!
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪
♪ HIS ABCs ♪
♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪
♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?
UHH...
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!
♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪
♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪
♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪
♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪
♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪
♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪
FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.
HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!
[SQUEAKING]
CAN ANYONE TELL ME
WHAT THIS MEANS?
YOU'RE TRYING
TO CHALK US TO DEATH?
BE AWARE OF THE GIANT
TROPHY FAMILY?
THE ANNUAL CLASH
OF THE FAMILIES
FESTIVAL IS COMING UP.
ALL FINE GUESSES.
BUT AS USUAL,
ONLY MALINA IS RIGHT.
SO PLEASE WELCOME URKON,
THE VILLAGE LEADER.
CLASH OF THE FAMILIES--
A FESTIVAL OF GAMES
PITTING VILLAGE FAMILY
AGAINST VILLAGE FAMILY,
FATHER AGAINST FATHER,
MOTHER AGAINST MOTHER.
COUSINS AGAINST COUSINS.
[THINKING] MAN, THIS GUY'S
LIKE A TALK-ATRON 2000.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
I CAN SUM THIS UP
NICE AND QUICK.
EVERY YEAR
THE VILLAGE FAMILIES
PLAY A BUNCH OF DUMB GAMES--
SEE, DUMB GAME--
TO WIN SOME DUMB PRIZES.
YEP. DUMB PRIZE.
AND AT THE END,
THERE'S A BIG MYSTERY EVENT.
WHAT IS IT?
WE DON'T KNOW.
IT'S A MYSTERY.
AND AS EMPEROR, I ALWAYS
HAD TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
PART OF THE JOB.
JUST SAY I WENT
FOR THE POTATO SALAD
AND STAYED FOR THE--
OK, ACTUALLY,
I DIDN'T STAY.
THAT POTATO SALAD
WAS DIS-GUSTING. UGH!
SO THIS YEAR
I'M NOT GOING AT ALL.
OK, HE'S GOT TO BE
DONE YAPPING BY NOW.
UNCLE AGAINST THIRD
COUSIN TWICE REMOVED.
NIECE-IN-LAW
AGAINST GRAND NEPHEW.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
THIS YEAR'S MYSTERY
EVENT'S GONNA BE?
EASY. DOWNHILL SLED RACE.
BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR.
THAT'S WHY NO ONE
EXPECTS IT BUT ME.
HMM. HOW ABOUT YOU,
KUZCO?
UM, THE WHO-CARES-ATHON?
HA-HA-HA-HA!
COME ON, THIS WHOLE
THING SHOULD BE CALLED
"CLASH OF THE LOSERS."
THAT'S TRUE.
LOSERS WILL BE THERE,
BUT THEY HAVE WINNERS, TOO.
LIKE MY FAMILY.
THEY WIN EVERY YEAR.
KUZCO, LIVING
WITH PACHA'S FAMILY
MEANS YOU GET TO COMPETE
IN CLASH OF THE FAMILIES
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
YEAH, THINK OF THE GOOD
TIME YOU'LL HAVE. HUH?
GOOD TIME.
WE DID IT!
WE WON AGAIN!
[GRUNTS] NO TOUCHY.
ALSO CAN'T BREATHY.
AH, SORRY.
LOOK, THOSE ARE
YOUR GOOD TIMES.
I WASN'T EVEN IN YOUR
LITTLE DREAMY MONTAGE THINGY.
YEAH, BUT YOU
AND PACHA'S FAMILY
CAN GET YOUR OWN GOOD TIMES
IF YOU TRAIN 31 HOURS
A DAY, 8 DAYS A WEEK,
LIKE MY FAMILY DOES.
[BEEPING]
WHOA. I'M LATE
FOR FAMILY PRACTICE.
GOT TO GO.
I CAN DO THAT.
SURE.
I'LL, UH, SEE YOU LATER.
KUZCO, WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
THE WHOLE WALK HOME.
YOU USUALLY WON'T SHUT UP.
YOU'RE NOT AFRAID
OF LOSING, ARE YOU?
FIRST, I'M NOT AFRAID
OF ANYTHING,
EXCEPT TREE FROGS
AND SCORPIONS
AND GHOSTS AND THE DARK,
OOH, AND LIMA BEANS AND--
KUZCO.
SECONDLY,
WHY WOULD I BE AFRAID
IF I'M NOT GOING?
WHY AREN'T YOU GOING?
THE WHOLE CLASH
OF THE WHATEVERS--
THAT'S DUMB.
NOT INTERESTED.
OH-OH-OH. I GET IT.
YOU'RE AFRAID PACHA'S FAMILY
WON'T WANT YOU ON THEIR TEAM.
I TOLD YOU
I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING,
EXCEPT TREE FROGS
AND SCORPIONS--
KUZCO, PACHA AND HIS FAMILY
CARE ABOUT YOU.
AND YOU KNOW, THIS YEAR
MY FAMILY WAS PLANNING
ON GOING TO THE CLASH DANCE
WITH THE WINNING FAMILY.
WHOA. BACKITY UP-UP.
IF ME AND PACHA'S
FAMILY WIN, YOU AND I...
BOOGEY-WOOGEY-BOOGEY?
YEAH, BUT SINCE YOU'RE
NOT INTERESTED...OH, WELL.
WE'D LOVE
TO HAVE YOU ON OUR TEAM.
WE WOULD? OW! OOH!
I MEAN, UH, RIGHT. WE WOULD.
REALLY? THIS IS GREAT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GONNA MAKE THIS YOUR BEST
CLASH OF THE FAMILIES EVER,
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BEAT
KRONK'S FAMILY AND WIN.
AH, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.
OOH, YES, I DO.
NOW, LET'S SEE.
FIRST THING WE NEED
IS A WINNING MOTTO. HMM.
HOW ABOUT
"WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING.
IT'S EVERYTHING"?
PRETTY CATCHY, HUH?
YEAH, EXCEPT WE DON'T
CARE ABOUT WINNING.
WE GO FOR THE FUN
AND FOR THE POTATO SALAD.
REALLY?
YOU LIKE THAT STUFF?
IT'S GOOD. THEY PUT
CAULIFLOWER IN IT.
THEY DO?
YEAH.
NO WONDER I DON'T LIKE IT.
I HATE CAULIFLOWER.
WHO PUTS CAULIFLOWER
IN POTATO SALAD?
ANYWAY, THIS YEAR'S
GONNA BE EXTRA FUN
BECAUSE AS TEAM CAPTAIN,
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE WE WIN.
UH, ACTUALLY,
I'M TEAM CAPTAIN.
YEAH. DAD'S TEAM CAPTAIN
UNTIL SOMETHING GOES WRONG,
THEN MOM'S TEAM CAPTAIN.
LOOK, IF WE WANNA WIN,
YOU GOTTA MAKE CHANGES.
ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF ME
BEING CAPTAIN, SAY "KUZCO."
All: PACHA!
HUH.
WELL, GOOD THING
MY VOTE COUNTS FOR MORE
SINCE I'M TEAM CAPTAIN.
NOW, GET TO BED.
TRAINING STARTS EARLY.
IT'S TIME TO SWEAT ALONG
WITH KUZCO'S DOODLES.
THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE I TURN PACHA'S FAMILY
INTO TEAM KUZCO.
THIS IS THE SUN.
HAPPY SUN.
BUT WE HAD TO GET
AN EARLY START.
SO WE GOT UP WHEN THE MOON
WAS STILL OUT. NEAT, HUH?
FIRST I HAD EVERYBODY
CARRY ME UP, UP, UP
THE STEEPEST MOUNTAIN.
THEN DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.
THEN UP, UP, UP,
THEN DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.
UP, DOWN. UP, DOWN.
UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN.
UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN.
HA-HA! AH.
NEXT WE DID LLAMA LIFTS.
AND 1 AND 2 AND 1 AND 2,
AND LOOK HOW STRONG
I'M MAKING YOU.
FINALLY, WE JUMPED ROPE.
THAT WENT REALLY WELL,
SO I HAD 'EM JUMP 2 ROPES,
THEN 3 ROPES.
NOTE TO KUZCO:
NO JUMPY 3 ROPES.
GOOD BURN, TEAM KUZCO.
YOU GUYS WORK
SO WELL TOGETHER,
YOU'RE NOT JUST A TEAM.
YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A FAMILY.
WEARE A FAMILY.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
OK, I'LL SEE YOU
BRIGHT AND EARLYMAÑANA.
WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?
HE'S PART OF THE FAMILY.
[ROOSTER CROWING]
[BUGLE PLAYING]
OK, OK, ENOUGH
OF THE WAKE-UP SONG
AND HORN MUSIC. THANKS.
I PULLED A FAVOR.
DID YOU LIKE IT?
IT'S REALLY HARD
TO PLAY THAT THING.
OK, WE GOT A REAL
TRAIN-ATHON AHEAD
OF US TODAY, SO...
I WHIPPED UP SOME
KUZCO SUPER SMOOTHIES.
DOZEN EGGS,
FRESH HUNK OF RAW MEAT.
MMM. IT'S LIKE
DRINKING A GOLD MEADOW.
[COUGHING]
IT'S A LITTLE MEATY.
YEAH, WELL, I THINK WE CAN
SKIP THE MEAT SHAKES TODAY.
AND THE TRAINING.
CAN WE GO
CANOEING INSTEAD?
I GET FRONT.
NO, I DO.
NO, I DO.
CANOEING.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S ALL
DRINK OUR MEAT AND EGGS.
THEN WE'LL HEAD OUT.
THOSE ALLIGATORS AREN'T
GONNA WRESTLE THEMSELVES.
ALLIGATORS? NO.
THAT'S IT, KUZCO.
WE'RE GOING CANOEING.
LOOK, PEOPLE,
AS TEAM CAPTAIN,
I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH.
IF YOU WANNA WIN,
YOU GOT TO TRAIN.
OUR LITTLE SECRET
WEAPON THERE
CAN'T DO IT ALL.
NO, NO, EUBIE.
PUT MOMMY DOWN.
KUZCO, WE DON'T HAVE TO WIN.
WE GO TO CLASH OF THE FAMILIES
TO HAVE FUN TOGETHER,
AS A FAMILY.
OK, FINE.
I GUESS CANOEING
IS EXERCISE IN SOME CIRCLES.
AND THERE'S A CHANCE
THERE COULD BE ALLIGATORS.
AH, SCOOCH OVER.
YEAH, UH, KUZCO,
I THINK THE FAMILY CANOE'S
TOO SMALL TO FIT EVERYBODY.
AND BY THAT,
YOU MEAN ME.
WHAT?
NO. I GET IT.
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE
A PART OF YOUR FAMILY,
AND THIS IS YOUR
SNEAKY WAY OF SHOWING ME.
KUZCO, NO. IT'S
JUST A SMALL CANOE--
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND
YOUR CANOE IS TOO SMALL
TO GET RID OF ME.
I CAN TAKE A HINT.
IF YOU WANT ME
OUT OF THE FAMILY,
THEN YOU GOT IT. BYE-BYE.
[THINKING] HUMPH.
THEY DON'T THINK
I BELONG IN THEIR FAMILY,
THEN IT'S THEIR LOSS.
GLAD I GOT RID OF THEM.
WHO NEEDS A LOSER FAMILY?
I NEED A WINNER FAMILY
SO I CAN BOOGEY-WOOGEY-BOOGEY
WITH MALINA. UH-OH.
AND...7,000. WHEW!
HEY, KUZCO.
MALINA. WHAT A SURPRISE.
CAUGHT ME DOING
MY WARM-UP THERE.
7,000 PUSH-UPS. WHEW!
YOU SURE YOU
DIDN'T JUST DO ONE
AND SAY "AND...7000"?
ANYWAY, I HEARD
EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.
I TOLD YOU PACHA'S FAMILY
WANTED YOU ON THEIR TEAM.
GOOD TOUCHY. GOOD TOUCHY.
SO MAYBE I'LL
SEE YOU AT THE DANCE...
IF YOU WIN.
[THINKING] MALINA, ALSO
KNOWN AS HOTTIE-HOT-HOTTIE,
IS GONNA DANCE
WITH THE KUZ-MASTER.
ALL I NEED IS 1, A FAMILY,
AND 2, TO WIN.
SMILE, KRANK. THE JUDGES
WANT PERSONALITY, TOO.
WOW. LOOK AT KRONK'S FAMILY.
IF I HAD BEEN BORN BIGGER,
STRONGER, AND NOT SO BRIGHTER,
I COULD BE ONE OF THEM.
WHOO-HOO-HOO-WHOO-HOO!
[CRASHING]
OH! TOO MUCH PERSONALITY.
I WASN'T SPYING.
I WAS JUST WATCHING
YOUR EVERY MOVE AND MAKING
DETAILED MENTAL NOTES.
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
AAH!
AH! KRANK CAN'T COMPETE
ON THIS ANKLE.
THERE'S A FAMILY TRADITION
AT STAKE HERE, PEOPLE--
WINNING.
AND WE CAN'T WIN
WITH ONLY 3 PEOPLE.
WE NEED ONE MORE.
HOW ABOUT MR. SNAKES?
[GROWLING]
NO, NO. THAT CAT'S
ALL ATTITUDE.
HOW ABOUT KUZCO?
YOU'RE, UH, NOT AS SCRAWNY
AS YOU LOOK, ARE YOU?
YES. I MEAN NO.
I MEAN--ME?
YEAH. WE COULD USE A SCRAPPY
LITTLE FELLOW LIKE YOU.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
[THINKING] THEY WANT ME
TO JOIN THEIR FAMILY,
THEIR WINNING FAMILY.
THIS IS PERFECT.
I GET A FAMILY.
I GET TO WIN.
AND I GET TO DANCE
WITH MALINA.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
HE'S JUST TALKING
TO HIMSELF IN HIS HEAD.
HE DOES THAT SOMETIMES.
OH, NO. THEY'RE
TALKING ABOUT ME.
BETTER SAY SOMETHING
BEFORE I BLOW IT.
TALK TO ME LATER.
YOU GOT YOURSELF
A FAMILY MEMBER.
GREAT! NOW LET'S PUT
SOME MEAT ON THOSE BONES.
WELCOME ABOARD, FAKE BRO.
[DOOR OPENS]
GREAT NEWS,
FOR ME AT LEAST.
KRONK'S FAMILY ASKED ME
TO JOIN THEIR WINNING TEAM.
I'M BUNKING WITH THEM TONIGHT.
DINNER NUMBER 2'S
ABOUT TO BE SERVED.
THEY EAT A LOT
OF MEAT OVER THERE.
YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT
TEAM KUZCO?
YOU GUYS ARE
BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME.
BESIDES, YOU'LL HAVE
WAY MORE FUN AND MORE
POTATO SALAD THIS WAY.HASTA.
OH, BUT I MADE UNIFORMS FOR
EVERYBODY, INCLUDING YOU.
YOU DID?
AND WE TRAINS MORE.
I DID A GAZILLION
JUMPING JACKS.
YOU DID A HUNDRED.
GAZILLION.
HUNDRED.
GAZILLION.
HUNDRED.
GAZILLION.
UH, EVEN I GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
YEAH, I FELT BAD
THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE
ENOUGH ROOM FOR YOU,
SO I MADE IT BIGGER.
ANYWAY, SORRY IF I HURT
YOUR FEELINGS EARLIER.
UH, ME? FEELINGS? HURT?
[CHUCKLES] NO WAY.
SO GOOD LUCK TOMORROW.
KRONK'S FAMILY'S
LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
UM, YEAH. YOU, TOO.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW...
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
OK, I GOT TO GO.
[SNORING]
[RUMBLING]
Urkon: WELCOME, MY FRIENDS,
TO CLASH OF THE FAMILIES,
A GLORIOUS
CELEBRATION OF--
[TRUMPET BLARING]
[TRUMPET STOPS]
AS I WAS SAYING,
A GLORIOUS--
[TRUMPET BLARES]
NOT YET.
[TRUMPET STOPS]
REMEMBER WHAT
WE PRACTICED?
[TRUMPET BLARES]
FORGET IT.
All: 1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
Chicha: IS THIS GREAT
OR WHAT? HUH?
THIS IS WHAT
I CALL A FAMILY.
HEY, IS THAT
POTATO SALAD?
KUZCO,
WHERE'S YOUR FOCUS?
YOUR FOCUS FOR WINNING.
THE WINNING FOCUS.
YEAH. WINNING FOCUS.
Malina:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, HEY, MALINA.
LOOK. I SWITCHED FAMILIES.
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
HUH. GREAT?
ISN'T IT GREAT THAT YOU
ABANDONED PACHA'S FAMILY?
A FAMILY THAT CARES ABOUT YOU
AND TOOK YOU IN WHEN YOU HAD
NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
UH, HOW COME YOU ALWAYS TURN
THINGS AROUND LIKE THAT?
PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T
DO THIS JUST TO WIN.
HA-HA!
OH! MM. NO, NO, NO.
OF COURSE NOT.
NOT AT ALL.
JUST TO WIN? COME ON.
BUT THE "I WIN,
YOU DANCE WITH ME" DEAL
IS STILL A GO, RIGHT?
MOVE IT ALONG,
LITTLE LADY.
YOU'RE TAKING MY BOYS
OUT OF A ZONE.
I GOT TO SAY, KUZCO,
THIS IS A NEW LOW FOR YOU.
OH, YEAH? WELL, IS IT
LOWER THAN THE TIME
I MADE EVERYBODY KNEEL
SO I CAN BE THE KINGDOM'S
TALLEST MAN?
LOWER.
WHAT ABOUT WHEN I PASSED
THE "EVERYBODY WEAR
FUNNY HATS FOR MY OWN
PERSONAL AMUSEMENT" LAW?
KEEP DIGGING.
HOW ABOUT THE TIME
I DRESSED MONKEYS
IN TUXEDOS?
TRUST ME. THIS IS LOW.
YEAH, BUT PACHA'S
FAMILY DIDN'T WANT ME.
PLUS, THEY'RE NOT
MY REAL FAMILY.
SO? THEY TREAT YOU
LIKE FAMILY, DON'T THEY?
THAT'S REAL.
THE POINT IS,
FAMILY STICKS TOGETHER.
NOTHING COMES BEFORE THAT,
ESPECIALLY NOT WINNING.
BUT IF I WIN,
WE DANCE, RIGHT?
EH. SHE'LL GET OVER IT.
[BLARING]
LET THE CLASH
OF THE FAMILIES BEGIN!
OUR FIRST EVENT,
THE STILT SPRINT.
THE FIRST FAMILY MEMBER
TO THE FINISH LINE WINS.
ON YOUR MARKS,
GET SET...
STILT!
YOU KNOW, WIPPY,
THIS EVENT IS
A REAL STICK-IN-THE-MUD.
GET IT?
[CHEERING]
HA-HA-HA-HA!
OOH! THAT HURT.
WE'RE NOT SO GOOD
AT THAT, ARE WE?
NAH, BUT WE LOVE YOU
ANYWAY, HONEY.
OH, WHO CARES?
WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY
WINS THE FIRST EVENT
AND A YEAR'S SUPPLY
OF SWEET POTATOES.
YAY.
NEXT UP...OH, YEAH.
THE CHINCHILLA CHASE.
THE FIRST FAMILY TO CATCH
THEIR CHINCHILLA WINS.
ON YOUR MARKS,
GET SET, CHASE.
CHINCHILLA!
GO! GO!
CATCH HIM!
I GOT IT. OOH! I'VE GOT IT.
OOH! LOOKS LIKE
PACHA REALLY TOOK IT
ON THE CHINCHILLA.
I MADE THAT UP.
UH-OH.
I NABBED HIM!
I NABBED HIM!
[MUMBLING]
WHERE IS HE?
HEY, YOU GUYS, WHERE IS HE?
ON YOUR HEAD, DAD.
YOU KNOW THAT.
AGAIN, PEPIKRANKICKENITZ
FAMILY IS THE WINNER
AND WILL RECEIVE
A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF ROPE.
WHAT'S WRONG, KUZCO?
YOU'RE NOT IN A ZONE.
IS IT THE ROPE?
'CAUSE DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S PLENTY
TO GO AROUND.
GREAT.
THE NEXT EVENT, THE CHILI
PEPPER EATING CONTEST.
THE FAMILY THAT EATS
THE MOST CHILI PEPPERS WINS.
ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET...
BURN!
THE COMPETITION IS REALLY
STARTING TO HEAT UP, FOLKS.
OK. THAT'S IT.
ENOUGH WITH THE PUNS.
[BOTH GASP]
AGAIN, PEPIKRANKICKENITZ
FAMILY IS THE WINNER
AND WILL RECEIVE
A YEAR'S SUPPLY
OF FERTILIZER.
WELL, LOOKS LIKE
YOUR TEAM'S WINNING, HUH?
ARE YOU HAVING FUN?
OH, YEAH. FUN.
YOU?
OH, SURE. LOTS...
OF FUN.
[SOBBING]
I DON'T CARE ABOUT WINNING.
I WANNA BE A LOSER LIKE YOU.
OH, LOSER FACE.
PLEASE TAKE ME BACK.
I'LL DO ANYTHING. PLEASE.
OF COURSE
WE'LL TAKE YOU BACK.
TO BE HONEST,
WE REALLY MISSED YOU.
I MEAN, CHICHA
AND THE KIDS MISSED YOU.
I ONLY DID A LITTLE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT
KRONK'S FAMILY?
DON'T THEY NEED YOU?
NOT IF I FIND THEM
A SUBSTITUTE.
IF YOU ASK ME,
IT'S AN UPGRADE.
THIS YEAR'S GRAND PRIZE
MYSTERY EVENT IS...
THE CANOE GRAND PRIX.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
THE GRAND PRIZE EVENT
IS CANOEING.
HOW LUCKY IS THAT?
YOU GUYS CANOE ALL THE TIME.
YOU'RE LIKE CANOE WARRIORS.
I THINK WE ACTUALLY HAVE
A CHANCE TO WIN.
IT'S A CANOE RACE.
ALL RIGHT. WE GET IT.
GO TEAM KUZCO.
NO. GO TEAM PACHA.
HEY, MALINA, LOOK.
I SWITCHED BACK.
THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
YEAH, BUT WE'RE STILL
GONNA PADDLE CIRCLES
AROUND YOU.
BRING IT ON. THESE GUYS'
LAST NAME IS "CANOE."
SAY, IS "CANOE"
YOUR LAST NAME?
GOOD LUCK, FORMER BRO.
CAN'T TALK NOW.
IN A ZONE.
THE FIR--THE FIRST CANOE
ACROSS THE LAKE WINS.
READY, SET...CANOE!
TOLD YA WE'RE GONNA BEAT YOU.
IS THAT ALL YOU
THINK ABOUT? WINNING?
AND ACTUALLY, WINNING
MIGHT BE FUN FOR A CHANGE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TRY
OUR SECRET WEAPON?
EUBIE, MAKE MOMMY PROUD.
WHOO-HOO! THIS IS FUN!
HA-HA-HA-HA!
OH, WELL. GO TEAM PACHA.
WE'RE GONNA WIN.
WE'RE GONNA WIN.
WE'RE THE KING
OF THE--WHOA!
KUZCO.
WHOA!
THANKS, PACHA.
PACHA?
EUBIE, STOP! MAN OVERBOARD!
[SCREECHING]
HA-HA-HA!
[GROANS]
NO STANDING IN THE CANOE.
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
THEY WERE SO TIPPY?
I'M SORRY, KUZCO.
I GUESS I MADE US LOSE THE RACE.
HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO UPSET.
AH, FORGET ABOUT IT.
THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR.
THAT'S PLENTY OF TIME
FOR ME TO WHIP
YOU LOSERS INTO SHAPE.
I'M KIDDING. JOKEY.
YI-YI.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
THE MYSTERY
GRAND PRIZE GOES
TO PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY.
AN AUTOMATIC
LLAMA SHAVER.
OOH!
OH, IT'S NOT BAD.
I WONDER IF IT WORKS
ON OTHER ANIMALS OR PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW, ALL THAT LOSING
REALLY WORKED UP
MY POTATO SALAD APPETITE.
CAULIFLOWER
IN POTATO SALAD.
I DON'T GET IT.
HEY, YOU KNOW
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO STAND IN CANOES, RIGHT?
YEAH. NEXT TIME LET'S DO
THE BOATING SAFETY TIPS
BEFORE I RUIN IT
FOR EVERYBODY, OK?
SORRY. WOULD A DANCE
MAKE UP FOR IT?
BUT I DIDN'T WIN.
IT'S A PITY DANCE.
HEY, I DON'T DO PITY DANCES.
ALL RIGHT. LATER.
I MEAN, I DO
DO PITY DANCES.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
"PRETTY DANCES."
THOSE I DON'T DO.
WHATEVER. COME ON.
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.
WE HAVE ONE FINAL AWARD.
THE BEST CLASH
OF THE FAMILIES FAMILY
AS VOTED BY
THE OTHER FAMILIES.
THIS FAMILY WILL KEEP
THE TROPHY UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
AND THE WINNING FAMILY IS...
PACHA'S FAMILY!
KUZCO, GET UP HERE.
GO ON, WINNER.
OH, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
THEY'RE LOSERS.
IT, UH, WORKS
BETTER ON LLAMAS.
[MUTTERING]
STILL ANGRY, LITTLE FELLA?
IT'S HEAVIER
THAN IT LOOKS.
AH!
NAMELESS GUARD NUMBER 1
IS READY FOR FUN
IN THIS RASCALLY
HARLEQUIN HAT,
PERFECTLY SUITED FOR JUGGLING
AND BENDING OVER BACKWARDS
TO AMUSE THE EMPEROR.
NEXT.
AARRGH!
YOU'LL LOOK TIP-TOP
ON THE TOP DECK
JUST LIKE NAMELESS
GUARD NUMBER 2,
SPORTING THIS
NAUTICAL CHAPEAU.
THE EMPEROR LIKES. NEXT.
FROM MONTE CARLO
TO ST. TROPEZ,
NAMELESS GUARD NUMBER 3
IS READY TO BOOGIE TILL DAWN
IN THIS STYLISH--
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHO IS THIS CLOWN?
IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY.
SO GO GET YOUR FAMILY
AND WATCH IT TOGETHER.
I'LL WAIT.
OK, I CAN'T WAIT. JUST
TELL THEM ABOUT IT LATER.
THEME MUSIC.
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪
♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪
♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪
♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪
YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪
EXACTLY!
LET'S GO!
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪
♪ HIS ABCs ♪
♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪
♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?
UHH...
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!
♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪
♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪
♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪
♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪
♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪
♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪
FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.
HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!
[SQUEAKING]
CAN ANYONE TELL ME
WHAT THIS MEANS?
YOU'RE TRYING
TO CHALK US TO DEATH?
BE AWARE OF THE GIANT
TROPHY FAMILY?
THE ANNUAL CLASH
OF THE FAMILIES
FESTIVAL IS COMING UP.
ALL FINE GUESSES.
BUT AS USUAL,
ONLY MALINA IS RIGHT.
SO PLEASE WELCOME URKON,
THE VILLAGE LEADER.
CLASH OF THE FAMILIES--
A FESTIVAL OF GAMES
PITTING VILLAGE FAMILY
AGAINST VILLAGE FAMILY,
FATHER AGAINST FATHER,
MOTHER AGAINST MOTHER.
COUSINS AGAINST COUSINS.
[THINKING] MAN, THIS GUY'S
LIKE A TALK-ATRON 2000.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
I CAN SUM THIS UP
NICE AND QUICK.
EVERY YEAR
THE VILLAGE FAMILIES
PLAY A BUNCH OF DUMB GAMES--
SEE, DUMB GAME--
TO WIN SOME DUMB PRIZES.
YEP. DUMB PRIZE.
AND AT THE END,
THERE'S A BIG MYSTERY EVENT.
WHAT IS IT?
WE DON'T KNOW.
IT'S A MYSTERY.
AND AS EMPEROR, I ALWAYS
HAD TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
PART OF THE JOB.
JUST SAY I WENT
FOR THE POTATO SALAD
AND STAYED FOR THE--
OK, ACTUALLY,
I DIDN'T STAY.
THAT POTATO SALAD
WAS DIS-GUSTING. UGH!
SO THIS YEAR
I'M NOT GOING AT ALL.
OK, HE'S GOT TO BE
DONE YAPPING BY NOW.
UNCLE AGAINST THIRD
COUSIN TWICE REMOVED.
NIECE-IN-LAW
AGAINST GRAND NEPHEW.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
THIS YEAR'S MYSTERY
EVENT'S GONNA BE?
EASY. DOWNHILL SLED RACE.
BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR.
THAT'S WHY NO ONE
EXPECTS IT BUT ME.
HMM. HOW ABOUT YOU,
KUZCO?
UM, THE WHO-CARES-ATHON?
HA-HA-HA-HA!
COME ON, THIS WHOLE
THING SHOULD BE CALLED
"CLASH OF THE LOSERS."
THAT'S TRUE.
LOSERS WILL BE THERE,
BUT THEY HAVE WINNERS, TOO.
LIKE MY FAMILY.
THEY WIN EVERY YEAR.
KUZCO, LIVING
WITH PACHA'S FAMILY
MEANS YOU GET TO COMPETE
IN CLASH OF THE FAMILIES
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
YEAH, THINK OF THE GOOD
TIME YOU'LL HAVE. HUH?
GOOD TIME.
WE DID IT!
WE WON AGAIN!
[GRUNTS] NO TOUCHY.
ALSO CAN'T BREATHY.
AH, SORRY.
LOOK, THOSE ARE
YOUR GOOD TIMES.
I WASN'T EVEN IN YOUR
LITTLE DREAMY MONTAGE THINGY.
YEAH, BUT YOU
AND PACHA'S FAMILY
CAN GET YOUR OWN GOOD TIMES
IF YOU TRAIN 31 HOURS
A DAY, 8 DAYS A WEEK,
LIKE MY FAMILY DOES.
[BEEPING]
WHOA. I'M LATE
FOR FAMILY PRACTICE.
GOT TO GO.
I CAN DO THAT.
SURE.
I'LL, UH, SEE YOU LATER.
KUZCO, WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
THE WHOLE WALK HOME.
YOU USUALLY WON'T SHUT UP.
YOU'RE NOT AFRAID
OF LOSING, ARE YOU?
FIRST, I'M NOT AFRAID
OF ANYTHING,
EXCEPT TREE FROGS
AND SCORPIONS
AND GHOSTS AND THE DARK,
OOH, AND LIMA BEANS AND--
KUZCO.
SECONDLY,
WHY WOULD I BE AFRAID
IF I'M NOT GOING?
WHY AREN'T YOU GOING?
THE WHOLE CLASH
OF THE WHATEVERS--
THAT'S DUMB.
NOT INTERESTED.
OH-OH-OH. I GET IT.
YOU'RE AFRAID PACHA'S FAMILY
WON'T WANT YOU ON THEIR TEAM.
I TOLD YOU
I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING,
EXCEPT TREE FROGS
AND SCORPIONS--
KUZCO, PACHA AND HIS FAMILY
CARE ABOUT YOU.
AND YOU KNOW, THIS YEAR
MY FAMILY WAS PLANNING
ON GOING TO THE CLASH DANCE
WITH THE WINNING FAMILY.
WHOA. BACKITY UP-UP.
IF ME AND PACHA'S
FAMILY WIN, YOU AND I...
BOOGEY-WOOGEY-BOOGEY?
YEAH, BUT SINCE YOU'RE
NOT INTERESTED...OH, WELL.
WE'D LOVE
TO HAVE YOU ON OUR TEAM.
WE WOULD? OW! OOH!
I MEAN, UH, RIGHT. WE WOULD.
REALLY? THIS IS GREAT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GONNA MAKE THIS YOUR BEST
CLASH OF THE FAMILIES EVER,
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BEAT
KRONK'S FAMILY AND WIN.
AH, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.
OOH, YES, I DO.
NOW, LET'S SEE.
FIRST THING WE NEED
IS A WINNING MOTTO. HMM.
HOW ABOUT
"WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING.
IT'S EVERYTHING"?
PRETTY CATCHY, HUH?
YEAH, EXCEPT WE DON'T
CARE ABOUT WINNING.
WE GO FOR THE FUN
AND FOR THE POTATO SALAD.
REALLY?
YOU LIKE THAT STUFF?
IT'S GOOD. THEY PUT
CAULIFLOWER IN IT.
THEY DO?
YEAH.
NO WONDER I DON'T LIKE IT.
I HATE CAULIFLOWER.
WHO PUTS CAULIFLOWER
IN POTATO SALAD?
ANYWAY, THIS YEAR'S
GONNA BE EXTRA FUN
BECAUSE AS TEAM CAPTAIN,
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE WE WIN.
UH, ACTUALLY,
I'M TEAM CAPTAIN.
YEAH. DAD'S TEAM CAPTAIN
UNTIL SOMETHING GOES WRONG,
THEN MOM'S TEAM CAPTAIN.
LOOK, IF WE WANNA WIN,
YOU GOTTA MAKE CHANGES.
ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF ME
BEING CAPTAIN, SAY "KUZCO."
All: PACHA!
HUH.
WELL, GOOD THING
MY VOTE COUNTS FOR MORE
SINCE I'M TEAM CAPTAIN.
NOW, GET TO BED.
TRAINING STARTS EARLY.
IT'S TIME TO SWEAT ALONG
WITH KUZCO'S DOODLES.
THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE I TURN PACHA'S FAMILY
INTO TEAM KUZCO.
THIS IS THE SUN.
HAPPY SUN.
BUT WE HAD TO GET
AN EARLY START.
SO WE GOT UP WHEN THE MOON
WAS STILL OUT. NEAT, HUH?
FIRST I HAD EVERYBODY
CARRY ME UP, UP, UP
THE STEEPEST MOUNTAIN.
THEN DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.
THEN UP, UP, UP,
THEN DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.
UP, DOWN. UP, DOWN.
UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN.
UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN.
HA-HA! AH.
NEXT WE DID LLAMA LIFTS.
AND 1 AND 2 AND 1 AND 2,
AND LOOK HOW STRONG
I'M MAKING YOU.
FINALLY, WE JUMPED ROPE.
THAT WENT REALLY WELL,
SO I HAD 'EM JUMP 2 ROPES,
THEN 3 ROPES.
NOTE TO KUZCO:
NO JUMPY 3 ROPES.
GOOD BURN, TEAM KUZCO.
YOU GUYS WORK
SO WELL TOGETHER,
YOU'RE NOT JUST A TEAM.
YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A FAMILY.
WEARE A FAMILY.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
OK, I'LL SEE YOU
BRIGHT AND EARLYMAÑANA.
WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?
HE'S PART OF THE FAMILY.
[ROOSTER CROWING]
[BUGLE PLAYING]
OK, OK, ENOUGH
OF THE WAKE-UP SONG
AND HORN MUSIC. THANKS.
I PULLED A FAVOR.
DID YOU LIKE IT?
IT'S REALLY HARD
TO PLAY THAT THING.
OK, WE GOT A REAL
TRAIN-ATHON AHEAD
OF US TODAY, SO...
I WHIPPED UP SOME
KUZCO SUPER SMOOTHIES.
DOZEN EGGS,
FRESH HUNK OF RAW MEAT.
MMM. IT'S LIKE
DRINKING A GOLD MEADOW.
[COUGHING]
IT'S A LITTLE MEATY.
YEAH, WELL, I THINK WE CAN
SKIP THE MEAT SHAKES TODAY.
AND THE TRAINING.
CAN WE GO
CANOEING INSTEAD?
I GET FRONT.
NO, I DO.
NO, I DO.
CANOEING.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S ALL
DRINK OUR MEAT AND EGGS.
THEN WE'LL HEAD OUT.
THOSE ALLIGATORS AREN'T
GONNA WRESTLE THEMSELVES.
ALLIGATORS? NO.
THAT'S IT, KUZCO.
WE'RE GOING CANOEING.
LOOK, PEOPLE,
AS TEAM CAPTAIN,
I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH.
IF YOU WANNA WIN,
YOU GOT TO TRAIN.
OUR LITTLE SECRET
WEAPON THERE
CAN'T DO IT ALL.
NO, NO, EUBIE.
PUT MOMMY DOWN.
KUZCO, WE DON'T HAVE TO WIN.
WE GO TO CLASH OF THE FAMILIES
TO HAVE FUN TOGETHER,
AS A FAMILY.
OK, FINE.
I GUESS CANOEING
IS EXERCISE IN SOME CIRCLES.
AND THERE'S A CHANCE
THERE COULD BE ALLIGATORS.
AH, SCOOCH OVER.
YEAH, UH, KUZCO,
I THINK THE FAMILY CANOE'S
TOO SMALL TO FIT EVERYBODY.
AND BY THAT,
YOU MEAN ME.
WHAT?
NO. I GET IT.
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE
A PART OF YOUR FAMILY,
AND THIS IS YOUR
SNEAKY WAY OF SHOWING ME.
KUZCO, NO. IT'S
JUST A SMALL CANOE--
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND
YOUR CANOE IS TOO SMALL
TO GET RID OF ME.
I CAN TAKE A HINT.
IF YOU WANT ME
OUT OF THE FAMILY,
THEN YOU GOT IT. BYE-BYE.
[THINKING] HUMPH.
THEY DON'T THINK
I BELONG IN THEIR FAMILY,
THEN IT'S THEIR LOSS.
GLAD I GOT RID OF THEM.
WHO NEEDS A LOSER FAMILY?
I NEED A WINNER FAMILY
SO I CAN BOOGEY-WOOGEY-BOOGEY
WITH MALINA. UH-OH.
AND...7,000. WHEW!
HEY, KUZCO.
MALINA. WHAT A SURPRISE.
CAUGHT ME DOING
MY WARM-UP THERE.
7,000 PUSH-UPS. WHEW!
YOU SURE YOU
DIDN'T JUST DO ONE
AND SAY "AND...7000"?
ANYWAY, I HEARD
EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.
I TOLD YOU PACHA'S FAMILY
WANTED YOU ON THEIR TEAM.
GOOD TOUCHY. GOOD TOUCHY.
SO MAYBE I'LL
SEE YOU AT THE DANCE...
IF YOU WIN.
[THINKING] MALINA, ALSO
KNOWN AS HOTTIE-HOT-HOTTIE,
IS GONNA DANCE
WITH THE KUZ-MASTER.
ALL I NEED IS 1, A FAMILY,
AND 2, TO WIN.
SMILE, KRANK. THE JUDGES
WANT PERSONALITY, TOO.
WOW. LOOK AT KRONK'S FAMILY.
IF I HAD BEEN BORN BIGGER,
STRONGER, AND NOT SO BRIGHTER,
I COULD BE ONE OF THEM.
WHOO-HOO-HOO-WHOO-HOO!
[CRASHING]
OH! TOO MUCH PERSONALITY.
I WASN'T SPYING.
I WAS JUST WATCHING
YOUR EVERY MOVE AND MAKING
DETAILED MENTAL NOTES.
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
AAH!
AH! KRANK CAN'T COMPETE
ON THIS ANKLE.
THERE'S A FAMILY TRADITION
AT STAKE HERE, PEOPLE--
WINNING.
AND WE CAN'T WIN
WITH ONLY 3 PEOPLE.
WE NEED ONE MORE.
HOW ABOUT MR. SNAKES?
[GROWLING]
NO, NO. THAT CAT'S
ALL ATTITUDE.
HOW ABOUT KUZCO?
YOU'RE, UH, NOT AS SCRAWNY
AS YOU LOOK, ARE YOU?
YES. I MEAN NO.
I MEAN--ME?
YEAH. WE COULD USE A SCRAPPY
LITTLE FELLOW LIKE YOU.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
[THINKING] THEY WANT ME
TO JOIN THEIR FAMILY,
THEIR WINNING FAMILY.
THIS IS PERFECT.
I GET A FAMILY.
I GET TO WIN.
AND I GET TO DANCE
WITH MALINA.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
HE'S JUST TALKING
TO HIMSELF IN HIS HEAD.
HE DOES THAT SOMETIMES.
OH, NO. THEY'RE
TALKING ABOUT ME.
BETTER SAY SOMETHING
BEFORE I BLOW IT.
TALK TO ME LATER.
YOU GOT YOURSELF
A FAMILY MEMBER.
GREAT! NOW LET'S PUT
SOME MEAT ON THOSE BONES.
WELCOME ABOARD, FAKE BRO.
[DOOR OPENS]
GREAT NEWS,
FOR ME AT LEAST.
KRONK'S FAMILY ASKED ME
TO JOIN THEIR WINNING TEAM.
I'M BUNKING WITH THEM TONIGHT.
DINNER NUMBER 2'S
ABOUT TO BE SERVED.
THEY EAT A LOT
OF MEAT OVER THERE.
YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT
TEAM KUZCO?
YOU GUYS ARE
BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME.
BESIDES, YOU'LL HAVE
WAY MORE FUN AND MORE
POTATO SALAD THIS WAY.HASTA.
OH, BUT I MADE UNIFORMS FOR
EVERYBODY, INCLUDING YOU.
YOU DID?
AND WE TRAINS MORE.
I DID A GAZILLION
JUMPING JACKS.
YOU DID A HUNDRED.
GAZILLION.
HUNDRED.
GAZILLION.
HUNDRED.
GAZILLION.
UH, EVEN I GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
YEAH, I FELT BAD
THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE
ENOUGH ROOM FOR YOU,
SO I MADE IT BIGGER.
ANYWAY, SORRY IF I HURT
YOUR FEELINGS EARLIER.
UH, ME? FEELINGS? HURT?
[CHUCKLES] NO WAY.
SO GOOD LUCK TOMORROW.
KRONK'S FAMILY'S
LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
UM, YEAH. YOU, TOO.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW...
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
OK, I GOT TO GO.
[SNORING]
[RUMBLING]
Urkon: WELCOME, MY FRIENDS,
TO CLASH OF THE FAMILIES,
A GLORIOUS
CELEBRATION OF--
[TRUMPET BLARING]
[TRUMPET STOPS]
AS I WAS SAYING,
A GLORIOUS--
[TRUMPET BLARES]
NOT YET.
[TRUMPET STOPS]
REMEMBER WHAT
WE PRACTICED?
[TRUMPET BLARES]
FORGET IT.
All: 1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
1, 2, 3, WIN!
Chicha: IS THIS GREAT
OR WHAT? HUH?
THIS IS WHAT
I CALL A FAMILY.
HEY, IS THAT
POTATO SALAD?
KUZCO,
WHERE'S YOUR FOCUS?
YOUR FOCUS FOR WINNING.
THE WINNING FOCUS.
YEAH. WINNING FOCUS.
Malina:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, HEY, MALINA.
LOOK. I SWITCHED FAMILIES.
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
HUH. GREAT?
ISN'T IT GREAT THAT YOU
ABANDONED PACHA'S FAMILY?
A FAMILY THAT CARES ABOUT YOU
AND TOOK YOU IN WHEN YOU HAD
NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
UH, HOW COME YOU ALWAYS TURN
THINGS AROUND LIKE THAT?
PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T
DO THIS JUST TO WIN.
HA-HA!
OH! MM. NO, NO, NO.
OF COURSE NOT.
NOT AT ALL.
JUST TO WIN? COME ON.
BUT THE "I WIN,
YOU DANCE WITH ME" DEAL
IS STILL A GO, RIGHT?
MOVE IT ALONG,
LITTLE LADY.
YOU'RE TAKING MY BOYS
OUT OF A ZONE.
I GOT TO SAY, KUZCO,
THIS IS A NEW LOW FOR YOU.
OH, YEAH? WELL, IS IT
LOWER THAN THE TIME
I MADE EVERYBODY KNEEL
SO I CAN BE THE KINGDOM'S
TALLEST MAN?
LOWER.
WHAT ABOUT WHEN I PASSED
THE "EVERYBODY WEAR
FUNNY HATS FOR MY OWN
PERSONAL AMUSEMENT" LAW?
KEEP DIGGING.
HOW ABOUT THE TIME
I DRESSED MONKEYS
IN TUXEDOS?
TRUST ME. THIS IS LOW.
YEAH, BUT PACHA'S
FAMILY DIDN'T WANT ME.
PLUS, THEY'RE NOT
MY REAL FAMILY.
SO? THEY TREAT YOU
LIKE FAMILY, DON'T THEY?
THAT'S REAL.
THE POINT IS,
FAMILY STICKS TOGETHER.
NOTHING COMES BEFORE THAT,
ESPECIALLY NOT WINNING.
BUT IF I WIN,
WE DANCE, RIGHT?
EH. SHE'LL GET OVER IT.
[BLARING]
LET THE CLASH
OF THE FAMILIES BEGIN!
OUR FIRST EVENT,
THE STILT SPRINT.
THE FIRST FAMILY MEMBER
TO THE FINISH LINE WINS.
ON YOUR MARKS,
GET SET...
STILT!
YOU KNOW, WIPPY,
THIS EVENT IS
A REAL STICK-IN-THE-MUD.
GET IT?
[CHEERING]
HA-HA-HA-HA!
OOH! THAT HURT.
WE'RE NOT SO GOOD
AT THAT, ARE WE?
NAH, BUT WE LOVE YOU
ANYWAY, HONEY.
OH, WHO CARES?
WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY
WINS THE FIRST EVENT
AND A YEAR'S SUPPLY
OF SWEET POTATOES.
YAY.
NEXT UP...OH, YEAH.
THE CHINCHILLA CHASE.
THE FIRST FAMILY TO CATCH
THEIR CHINCHILLA WINS.
ON YOUR MARKS,
GET SET, CHASE.
CHINCHILLA!
GO! GO!
CATCH HIM!
I GOT IT. OOH! I'VE GOT IT.
OOH! LOOKS LIKE
PACHA REALLY TOOK IT
ON THE CHINCHILLA.
I MADE THAT UP.
UH-OH.
I NABBED HIM!
I NABBED HIM!
[MUMBLING]
WHERE IS HE?
HEY, YOU GUYS, WHERE IS HE?
ON YOUR HEAD, DAD.
YOU KNOW THAT.
AGAIN, PEPIKRANKICKENITZ
FAMILY IS THE WINNER
AND WILL RECEIVE
A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF ROPE.
WHAT'S WRONG, KUZCO?
YOU'RE NOT IN A ZONE.
IS IT THE ROPE?
'CAUSE DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S PLENTY
TO GO AROUND.
GREAT.
THE NEXT EVENT, THE CHILI
PEPPER EATING CONTEST.
THE FAMILY THAT EATS
THE MOST CHILI PEPPERS WINS.
ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET...
BURN!
THE COMPETITION IS REALLY
STARTING TO HEAT UP, FOLKS.
OK. THAT'S IT.
ENOUGH WITH THE PUNS.
[BOTH GASP]
AGAIN, PEPIKRANKICKENITZ
FAMILY IS THE WINNER
AND WILL RECEIVE
A YEAR'S SUPPLY
OF FERTILIZER.
WELL, LOOKS LIKE
YOUR TEAM'S WINNING, HUH?
ARE YOU HAVING FUN?
OH, YEAH. FUN.
YOU?
OH, SURE. LOTS...
OF FUN.
[SOBBING]
I DON'T CARE ABOUT WINNING.
I WANNA BE A LOSER LIKE YOU.
OH, LOSER FACE.
PLEASE TAKE ME BACK.
I'LL DO ANYTHING. PLEASE.
OF COURSE
WE'LL TAKE YOU BACK.
TO BE HONEST,
WE REALLY MISSED YOU.
I MEAN, CHICHA
AND THE KIDS MISSED YOU.
I ONLY DID A LITTLE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT
KRONK'S FAMILY?
DON'T THEY NEED YOU?
NOT IF I FIND THEM
A SUBSTITUTE.
IF YOU ASK ME,
IT'S AN UPGRADE.
THIS YEAR'S GRAND PRIZE
MYSTERY EVENT IS...
THE CANOE GRAND PRIX.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
THE GRAND PRIZE EVENT
IS CANOEING.
HOW LUCKY IS THAT?
YOU GUYS CANOE ALL THE TIME.
YOU'RE LIKE CANOE WARRIORS.
I THINK WE ACTUALLY HAVE
A CHANCE TO WIN.
IT'S A CANOE RACE.
ALL RIGHT. WE GET IT.
GO TEAM KUZCO.
NO. GO TEAM PACHA.
HEY, MALINA, LOOK.
I SWITCHED BACK.
THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
YEAH, BUT WE'RE STILL
GONNA PADDLE CIRCLES
AROUND YOU.
BRING IT ON. THESE GUYS'
LAST NAME IS "CANOE."
SAY, IS "CANOE"
YOUR LAST NAME?
GOOD LUCK, FORMER BRO.
CAN'T TALK NOW.
IN A ZONE.
THE FIR--THE FIRST CANOE
ACROSS THE LAKE WINS.
READY, SET...CANOE!
TOLD YA WE'RE GONNA BEAT YOU.
IS THAT ALL YOU
THINK ABOUT? WINNING?
AND ACTUALLY, WINNING
MIGHT BE FUN FOR A CHANGE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TRY
OUR SECRET WEAPON?
EUBIE, MAKE MOMMY PROUD.
WHOO-HOO! THIS IS FUN!
HA-HA-HA-HA!
OH, WELL. GO TEAM PACHA.
WE'RE GONNA WIN.
WE'RE GONNA WIN.
WE'RE THE KING
OF THE--WHOA!
KUZCO.
WHOA!
THANKS, PACHA.
PACHA?
EUBIE, STOP! MAN OVERBOARD!
[SCREECHING]
HA-HA-HA!
[GROANS]
NO STANDING IN THE CANOE.
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
THEY WERE SO TIPPY?
I'M SORRY, KUZCO.
I GUESS I MADE US LOSE THE RACE.
HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO UPSET.
AH, FORGET ABOUT IT.
THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR.
THAT'S PLENTY OF TIME
FOR ME TO WHIP
YOU LOSERS INTO SHAPE.
I'M KIDDING. JOKEY.
YI-YI.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
THE MYSTERY
GRAND PRIZE GOES
TO PEPIKRANKICKENITZ FAMILY.
AN AUTOMATIC
LLAMA SHAVER.
OOH!
OH, IT'S NOT BAD.
I WONDER IF IT WORKS
ON OTHER ANIMALS OR PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW, ALL THAT LOSING
REALLY WORKED UP
MY POTATO SALAD APPETITE.
CAULIFLOWER
IN POTATO SALAD.
I DON'T GET IT.
HEY, YOU KNOW
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO STAND IN CANOES, RIGHT?
YEAH. NEXT TIME LET'S DO
THE BOATING SAFETY TIPS
BEFORE I RUIN IT
FOR EVERYBODY, OK?
SORRY. WOULD A DANCE
MAKE UP FOR IT?
BUT I DIDN'T WIN.
IT'S A PITY DANCE.
HEY, I DON'T DO PITY DANCES.
ALL RIGHT. LATER.
I MEAN, I DO
DO PITY DANCES.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
"PRETTY DANCES."
THOSE I DON'T DO.
WHATEVER. COME ON.
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.
WE HAVE ONE FINAL AWARD.
THE BEST CLASH
OF THE FAMILIES FAMILY
AS VOTED BY
THE OTHER FAMILIES.
THIS FAMILY WILL KEEP
THE TROPHY UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
AND THE WINNING FAMILY IS...
PACHA'S FAMILY!
KUZCO, GET UP HERE.
GO ON, WINNER.
OH, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
THEY'RE LOSERS.
IT, UH, WORKS
BETTER ON LLAMAS.
[MUTTERING]
STILL ANGRY, LITTLE FELLA?
IT'S HEAVIER
THAN IT LOOKS.
AH!
NAMELESS GUARD NUMBER 1
IS READY FOR FUN
IN THIS RASCALLY
HARLEQUIN HAT,
PERFECTLY SUITED FOR JUGGLING
AND BENDING OVER BACKWARDS
TO AMUSE THE EMPEROR.
NEXT.
AARRGH!
YOU'LL LOOK TIP-TOP
ON THE TOP DECK
JUST LIKE NAMELESS
GUARD NUMBER 2,
SPORTING THIS
NAUTICAL CHAPEAU.
THE EMPEROR LIKES. NEXT.
FROM MONTE CARLO
TO ST. TROPEZ,
NAMELESS GUARD NUMBER 3
IS READY TO BOOGIE TILL DAWN
IN THIS STYLISH--
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHO IS THIS CLOWN?