The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 15 - The New Kid/Officer Kronk - full transcript

[I- The New Kid] When new kid Osker arrives in the Kuzco Academy, a super-cool young emperor and yet Kuzco's greatest fan, Kuzco gets viciously suspicious. Supposing that it must by Amzy/Yzma in disguise, he plots against him, but gets another surprise. [II- Officer Kronk] Yzma hopes to have Kuzco expelled by making Kronk truancy officer in charge of enforce the 'three time you're out', but Kuco tricks him into thrice the same himself. New Kronk is blackmailed into enforcing Kuzco's own ludicrous rules, first just fun, then getting everyone incarcerated.

OH, LOOK,
YOU'RE BACK FOR MORE ME.

I UNDERSTAND.
WHO WOULDN'T WANT MORE ME?

INCLUDING ME.

SO, LET'S HEAR
THE ME MUSIC.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪

YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪



EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪



♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

FOR SHOW AND TELL,
I'VE BROUGHT MY ROPE BALL,

HERBIE THE ROPE BALL.

I FIND ROPE,
COLLECT ROPE,

AND ADD IT
TO HERBIE THE ROPE BALL.

IT RELAXES ME.

BY THE WAY,
HIS NAME ISN'T REALLY
HERBIE THE ROPE BALL.

I MADE THAT UP
TO SPICE UP

THE SHOW AND TELL
A LITTLE.

I'M KRONK.
THANK YOU.

HOLA.
SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

JUST WANTED TO KNOW,
WHY ARE WE WATCHING THIS?

THIS HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH ME.

SO, LET'S GET TO SOMETHING
A LITTLE MORE KUZCOCENTRIC,

SHALL WE?

HERBIE THE ROPE BALL...
WHATEVER.

HEY, EVERYBODY.
THERE'S A NEW KID.

NOW WAY.

WHO IS HE?

[FANFARE]

ALL HAIL THE RULER
AND SUPREME SOVEREIGN

OF THE FARAWAY KINGDOM
OF THE SEVEN HILLS,

EMPEROR OZKER.

HIT IT.

♪ NEW KID
IN THE SCHOOL ROOM ♪

♪ COOL DUDE
IN THE COOL ROOM ♪

♪ STYLING IN THE COOLEST,
NEWEST CLOTHES ♪

♪ OZKER ♪

♪ A BRAND-NEW STUDENT ♪

HOTTIE.

♪ HE WILL STEAL
YOUR HOTTIE ♪

♪ HOLA TO THE NEW STAR
OF THE SHOW ♪

♪ OZKER ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT KID? ♪

♪ IT'S OZKER ♪

♪ WHAT'S THAT NAME? ♪

♪ OZKER ♪

♪ HERE HE COMES ♪

♪ KING OZKER ♪

♪ GATHER 'ROUND AND SEE ♪

♪ NEW KID IN THE OLD SCHOOL,
YES! ♪

♪ FROM THE ROYAL GENE POOL ♪

♪ HE'S A ONE MAN
MUSIC VIDEO ♪

♪ OZKER ♪

♪ HOW DID HE GET SO CHIC? ♪

♪ MARVEL AT HIS MYSTIQUE ♪

♪ GATHER, GO, GO,
HE'S MAGNIFICO ♪

♪ OZKER ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT KID? ♪

♪ HIS NAME IS OZKER ♪

♪ WHAT'S THAT NAME? ♪

♪ IT'S OZKER ♪

♪ HERE HE COMES ♪

♪ KING OZKER ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR ♪

♪ OZKER ♪

ZOOM-ZAM.

HELLO,
EMPEROR OZKER.

I'M KRONK,
THE WELCOMING COMMITTEE.

I'LL BE
YOUR ACADEMY BUDDY,

SHOW YOU AROUND
THE CAMPUS AND WHATNOT.

THANKS, KRONK.
WHEN CAN I MEET
EMPEROR KUZCO?

COOL YOUR JETS, PAL.

WE GOT A LOT
OF GROUND TO COVER.

MAYBE LATER,
IF YOU'RE GOOD,

YOU CAN TRY A LITTLE
SOLO CAMPUS WALK,

BUT FOR NOW
STICK WITH ME.

NOW, THIS IS WHAT
WE IN THE KINGDOM CALL

A HALLWAY.

OR A CORRIDOR.

AH...WOW.

KUZCO,
YOU JUST MISSED IT.

THERE'S A NEW KID.
HE'S AN EMPEROR, LIKE YOU.

HIS NAME'S OZKER--
EMPEROR OZKER--

FROM THE FARAWAY KINGDOM
OF THE SEVEN HILLS.

NO ONE TOLD ME
ABOUT A NEW EMPEROR.

THERE WAS
A BIG SONG NUMBER,

KIND OF LIKE YOURS--
IT WAS GREAT.

EW, SINGING?
THIS EARLY?

IT'S NEARLY LUNCHTIME.

STILL, SEEMS TACKY.

HE WAS REAL EXCITED
TO MEET YOU.

TACKY...
YET WITH GREAT TASTE.

VERY WELL.
SHOW ME THIS SO-CALLED
NEW KID.

WOW!
EMPEROR KUZCO, IN PERSON!

CAN I GET AN AUTOGRAPH?
I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN.

EH-HEH...

WELL, OZKER,
IF YOU WERE REALLY A FAN,

YOU'D KNOW...COME HERE.

NO, CLOSER.

NO SITTY IN MY SEATY!

EXCUSE US.
STUDENT CONFERENCE.

WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU?

HE'S NEW
AND RIGHT OFF

YOU SCREAM
IN HIS FACE?

HEY, I DON'T LIKE
THAT WEIRD FAN-BOY THING.

IT'S, YOU KNOW,
LIKE THE WAY A VINE GROWS.

ALL CURLY AND OVER STUFF.

YOU MEAN, CREEPY?

YEAH, CREEPY.

I THINK HE'S UP TO
SOMETHING SINISTER.

LIKE...

OR MAYBE...

OR EVEN...

[JIG PLAYS]

YEAH, UM,
I DON'T GET
THE LAST ONE.

I RAN OUT OF IDEAS.

I GUESS IT MAKES
PERFECT SENSE,
DOESN'T IT?

SOMEONE ACTUALLY
BELIEVES YOU'RE AS COOL

AS YOU THINK YOU ARE,

SO THEY MUST BE
UP TO SOMETHING EVIL.

I DIDN'T SAY EVIL,
I SAID SINISTER.

I'M TELLING YOU,
THAT NEW KID IS
UP TO SOMETHING.

AND I'M GOING
TO FIND OUT WHAT.

WHERE'S HE GOING?

HEY,
THAT'S MY LOCKER.

AND THAT'S MY DESK.

AND WHY IS HE LOOKING
AT MY STATUE OF ME?

WHAT'S HE UP TO? HMM...

OH, NOW IT MAKES SENSE.

AMZY, YZMA...I CAN
PRACTICALLY SEE

HER EVIL PLAN UNFOLDING.

I KNOW.
FIRST, I'LL TURN KUZCO
INTO A KUMQUAT.

THEN, I'LL LET HIM
ROT IN THE HOT SUN

'TIL HE'S COVERED
WITH FLIES.

THEN, I'LL TURN MYSELF
INTO A SPIDER

AND I'LL EAT THE FLIES.

IT'S BRILLIANT!

OR I'LL JUST TURN MYSELF
INTO A NEW STUDENT,

A STUDENT
WHO'S ALREADY AN EMPEROR,

I'LL ASK KUZCO
FOR AN AUTOGRAPH,

THEN I'LL SQUASH HIM
WITH A HAMMER

AND TAKE OVER THE KINGDOM!

HA HA HA!

[COUGHING AND GAGGING]

HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?

WOW...KIND OF GRIM
FOR A FAMILY SHOW.

OK, SO MAYBE THAT'S NOT
WHAT SHE'S UP TO.

BUT OZKER IS DEFINITELY
AMZY IN DISGUISE.

AND WHATEVER
THE SINISTER PLAN IS,

IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

AHA!

KUZCO, MY BOY.

COME IN.

YOUR LITTLE PRETEND-TO-BE
NEW KID SCHEME

IS DOWN THE DRAIN.

I'M ON TO YOU,
YZMA.

I ASSURE YOU,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I'M AMZY,
PRINCIPAL AMZY.

YEAH, AND YOU
JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE

AN ALLIGATOR LIKE YZMA'S?

[SNORING]

NO, I DON'T.

YOUR LITTLE DISGUISES
DON'T FOOL ME.

YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING!

I MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT,

BUT I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING.

[Loudspeaker]
ATTENTION, KUZCO ACADEMY
YEARBOOK PHOTOS

WILL BE TAKEN TODAY

IN THE CAFETERIA.

[CLEARS THROAT]

THAT IS ALL.

AHA! THE FINAL PIECE
OF THE PUZZLE.

YEARBOOK PICTURES.

YOU EVIL GENIUS.

YOU MEAN TO...
DO SOMETHING.

SINISTERY...

TO MY YEARBOOK PICTURE.

YZMA DOESN'T CARE
ABOUT YEARBOOK PHOTOS.

AND EVEN IF SHE DID,

WHY TURN HERSELF
INTO AN OZKER?

TO MESS WITH MY HEAD.

YOUR HEAD'S
MESSED UP ENOUGH.

OZKER'S A NICE KID
WHO THINKS YOU'RE GREAT.

WHY CAN'T YOU
JUST ACCEPT THAT?

WELL, MR. NICE WALKED
RIGHT INTO AMZY'S OFFICE--

OZKER, AMZY,
AMZY, YZMA.

OZKER, AMZY, YZMA.

NEW STUDENT
VISITS PRINCIPAL?

THAT'S NOT SINISTER.

BUT HE NEVER CAME OUT.

CONGRATS ON
YOUR FIRST SOLO WALK
AROUND CAMPUS, OZKER.

FIND EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

YEP. I EVEN STOPPED BY
PRINCIPAL AMZY'S OFFICE.

DID YOU KNOW HER OFFICE
HAS A BACK EXIT?

THERE'S A ROLLERCOASTER

AND A SECRET LAB
OR SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT--

MYSTERY SOLVED.

NO, HE'S YZMA!

I MEAN, SHE'S OZKER.

I MEAN, SHE'S YZMA
AND HE'S OZKER.

THEY'RE BOTH EACH OTHER!

SORRY, KUZCO.

I JUST DON'T SEE IT.

OH, YOU'LL SEE IT,
MALINA.

SOON, ALL OF YOU
WILL SEE IT.

OK, STEP UP
ONE AT A TIME,

SMILE, AND GET OUT.

I HAVE WORK TO DO.

700 LUNCHES
DON'T COOK THEMSELVES.

ALL RIGHT,
ACADEMY BUDDY,
YEARBOOK PICTURE.

LOTS AT STAKE.

DON'T BLINK,
DON'T LET ANYTHING
HANG OUT YOUR NOSE.

ONCE THAT PICTURE
IS SNAPPED,

IT'S THERE
FOR EVERYONE TO SEE...

FOREVER!

UGH...

I KNOW
I'LL REGRET ASKING THIS,

BUT WHAT'S WITH THE ROPE?

OH, JUST PART OF AN
INCREDIBLY CLEVER PLAN

THAT I DON'T WANT TO
SPOIL THE SURPRISE OF.

REALLY CLEVER.

OK.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SPOIL THE SURPRISE.

LOOKY-LOOK.

I DON'T SUPPOSE
THAT'S AN INNOCENT WASHTUB

CHOCK FULL OF FUN CONFETTI.

NO. UH-UH.
IT'S FULL OF A SPECIAL,
EXTRA-LOUSY

BARGAIN-BRAND DETERGENT.

WHEN I PULL THIS ROPE,

IT'LL SPILL OUT
AND DISINTEGRATE

A CERTAIN SOMEONE'S
PHONY NEW-KID DISGUISE.

AND THEN
EVERYONE WILL SEE

THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE
IS REALLY AMZY-YZMA.

OZKER IS NOT AMZY OR YZMA.

SURE, HE IS.

THAT'S WHY
YOU NEVER SEE THEM
AT THE SAME TIME.

I DO.

YEARBOOK PHOTOS, HUH?

ALWAYS ON THE DAY
MY HAIR LOOKS STUPID.

B-B-THEN...

WHO IS OZKER?

LET ME TELL YOU AGAIN,

AND MAYBE THIS TIME
YOU'LL ACTUALLY LISTEN.

OZKER IS THE SINGLE PERSON
ON THE PLANET

WHO THINKS YOU'RE EVEN GREATER
THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE.

WELL, BUT--

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THAT...

AT ALL.

OH, I FEEL
ALL YUCKETY INSIDE.

YEAH, THAT'S CALLED GUILT,
KUZCO.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING AWFUL

TO A TOTALLY INNOCENT PERSON.

HERE.
LET GO OF THE ROPE.

HEY...
YUCKETY FEELING
WENT BYE-BYE.

NOW,
TAKE THE ROPE AGAIN.

OOH, YUCKETY--
NO LIKE YUCKETY.

GOOD.
I AM PROUD OF YOU.

OH, OH! MORE ROPE
FOR HERBIE THE ROPE BALL.

NO, KRONK, DON'T!

TOO LATE.

[PHOTO SNAPS]

HOLA, BOOM-BAM, AND BOO-YA.

FROM ONE EMPEROR TO ANOTHER,
KUZCO.

OH, THANKS!
BUT I'M NOT REALLY
AN EMPEROR.

WHAT?

I'M SORRY!
IT'S A NEW SCHOOL,

AND I WAS SCARED.

YOU'RE AN EMPEROR,

I THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO BE
AN EMPEROR, TOO,

JUST TO FIT IN.

EVERYONE HERE'S SO NICE.

I CAN JUST BE MYSELF.

UH-HUH.

AND YOURSELF WOULD BE?

A FULL VARSITY
DECATHLON CHAMP.

AH!
AH!
AH!

GREAT...

[Kronk]
COME BACK, HERBIE
THE ROPE BALL!

KUZCO ACADEMY--

SCHOOL FOR BOTH PEASANTS
AND EMPERORS ALIKE.

WHERE SCRUMPTIOUS LUNCHES
ARE SERVED

BY A WORLD-CLASS
KITCHEN CREW.

WHERE PLAYTIME
IS FUNTIME IN THE SUNTIME.

KUZCO ACADEMY--
ALSO KNOWN AS KUZCATRAZ.

IT'S LIKE A PRISON.

NO JOKE, THERE ARE RULES
AGAINST EVERYTHING.

NO EATING IN CLASS,

NO MUSIC IN CLASS,

NO HOT TUBS IN CLASS.

I'VE HAD IT!

IF ONE MORE PERSON
TELLS ME

WHAT I CAN'T DO,

I'LL FLIP OUT!

KUZCO,
NO FLIPPING OUT!

THAT'S IT.
THE OFFICIAL RULES
OF KUZCO ACADEMY.

THAT'S HOW
TO GET RID OF KUZCO.

IF A STUDENT VIOLATES
ACADEMY RULE 3 TIMES,

THEY WILL BE EXPELLED.

THIS IS PERFECT,
PERFECT, PERFECT.

AND YOU ARE GOING
TO HELP, KRONK,

BY BECOMING...
A HALL MONITOR!

WOW! ME, HALL MONITOR?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

YZMA WILL BE SO PROUD.

DON'T BREATHE A WORD OF THIS.
I WANT TO SURPRISE HER.

FINE, FINE.
NOW, GO TICKET KUZCO
3 TIMES.

THEN EXPEL HIM!

BUT FIRST...

FIX ME SOME
PAPAYA PIZZA BITES.

GOT YA.

WITH MUSTARD?

HMM...YES,
BUT NOT YELLOW.

THAT OTHER STUFF.

DIJON.
YOU GOT IT.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

WHOA, CITIZEN. HALT!

YOU'RE IN DIRECT VIOLATION
OF A KUZCO ACADEMY RULE.

AHEM.

NO ONE IS ALLOWED
TO STAND, WALK, RUN,

SKIP, SHUFFLE, OR TAP DANCE

ON THE EMPEROR KUZCO
MOSAIC TILE FLOOR.

SORRY, PAL.
GONNA HAVE TO TICKET YOU.

THAT'S ONE.

NICE HAT.

THANKS.
PRINCIPAL AMZY MADE ME
OFFICIAL HALL MONITOR.

NOT BAD, HUH?

THE PONCHO'S
A LITTLE LAST YEAR,

BUT I'M THINKING
MAYBE WEAR IT BELTED,

LITTLE SLIMMER
IN THE HIP AREA.

I WANT A HAT.

NO CAN DO, BUDDY.

IT COMES WITH THE JOB.

ANYBODY BREAKS
AN ACADEMY RULE,

I GOT TO TICKET THEM.

OH, THAT'S WHAT THAT WAS.

EXACTLY.

THEN YOU SHOULD GET
TICKETED, TOO,

FOR STANDING
ON THE EMPEROR KUZCO
MOSAIC TILE FLOOR.

RULES ARE RULES.

WELL, THAT'S ONE FOR ME.

UH, KRONK,
YOU'RE STILL STANDING
ON IT.

UGH...

THAT'S TWO.

UGH!
I'M STILL STANDING ON IT!

THAT'S THREE.

UH-OH...

THREE TICKETS.

AUTOMATIC EXPULSION.

SIMMER DOWN, BIG GUY.

NO ONE SAW YOU
BREAK THE RULES...

EXCEPT FOR ME,

AND I'M NOT
A HALL MONITOR.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO,

BLACKMAIL ME?

MAKE ME YOUR PERSONAL PRIVATE
POLICE PUPPET?

ONLY ENFORCE THE RULES
YOU LIKE?

OR WORSE,
I GOT TO RUN AROUND,

ENFORCING A WHOLE BUNCH
OF WACKY NEW RULES

YOU JUST MAKE UP
OUT OF THIN AIR.

LISTEN UP, PEOPLE.

I'M HALL MONITOR KRONK,

AMD I'VE GOT
SOME NEW RULES.

EATING IN CLASS
IS NO LONGER A NO-NO.

MUSIC ALL DAY LONG
IS NOW A GO-GO.

RULES AGAINST HOT TUBS,
NO MO'.

THESE RULES
ARE LOCO.

KRONK,
BESIDES THE LITTLE
RHYMING THING,

THERE'S SOMETHING FUNNY
ABOUT THESE RULES.

NAW, I'M SURE
THERE'S FUNNIER ONES.

GO AHEAD, READ THEM, KRONK.

[STUDENTS GROAN]

FIRST, NO GROANING.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

NO BADMOUTHING
THE NEW RULES.

BUT--

NO BUTS.

ALSO, NO ITCHING
OR SCRATCHING.

NO SNICKERING, GIGGLING,
LAUGHING, CHUCKLING,

CHORTLING, AND/OR TITTERING.

NO MORE HA HAs,
HEY HEYs, HO HOs,

TEE-HEEs, OR YUCK-YUCKs.

UNLESS KUZCO MAKES A JOKE.

AND FINALLY,
THERE'S THE NEW
NO-TOUCHY RULE

WITH ONE EXCEPTION--

MALINA CAN TOUCH KUZCO
AT ANY TIME.

KRONK, THESE RULES
DON'T SOUND LIKE YOU
AT ALL.

IT'S LIKE THEY WERE
MADE UP OUT OF THIN AIR

BY SOMEONE
WHO'S POMPOUS,
FULL OF THEMSELF,

AND ENLISTING
HIS EMPEROR POWERS.

REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?

YEAH, STARTS WITH K
AND ENDS WITH AN UZCO.

UH-OH...I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S LIKE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS,

WHEN I WAS FULL-ON EMPEROR,

ONLY BETTER,

BECAUSE NOW,
NO ONE KNOWS IT'S ME

MAKING ALL THE RULES.

AND THAT'S BETTER...HOW?

I GET TO BE
A CONTROL FREAK.

BUT EVERYONE
STILL LOVES ME.

BUT NOBODY LOVES ME.

THEY THINK
I'M THE FREAKY CONTROLLER
FREAK THING YOU SAID.

I KNOW.
AREN'T PEOPLE FUNNY?

I GUESS,
BUT NO ONE'S FOLLOWING
YOUR NEW RULES ANYWAY.

WHAT?

I CAUGHT KUKA, KUKZY,
AND KURY SNICKERING,

SO I GAVE THEM
A TICKET,

BUT THEY KEPT ON
SNICKERING...

AT ME!

WHEN I TOLD MR. MOLEGUACO
NO BEING SHORT,

HE THREATENED ME
WITH DETENTION.

WELL, IF YOU CAN'T
ENFORCE MY RULES,

I GUESS OUR DEAL'S OFF.

I'LL JUST HAVE
TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT
YOUR THREE TICKETS.

OH, COME ON.
WHAT MORE CAN I DO?

DUMP THEM ALL
IN THE DUNGEON?

FRANKLY,
THIS IS GETTING
OUT OF CONTROL.

AH, MY OLD FRIENDS,
SOON WE'LL BE TOGETHER.

IN PERSON INPERSAFIGALIA.

KRONK, TELL ME KUZCO
HAS BEEN EXPELLED.

WHAT IS THIS?

YOU GOT A TICKET.

IT'S NOW ILLEGAL TO BE UGLY
BEYOND ALL BELIEF.

ALSO, DINOSAURS ARE NO LONGER
ALLOWED TO ROAM THE EARTH.

I'M NO DINOSAUR.

THAT'S ONE OPINION.

YOU CAN'T
DO THIS TO ME.

BLAME PRINCIPAL AMZY.
SHE MADE ME HALL MONITOR.

BUT, KRONK, I'M--

I KNOW, YOU'RE INNOCENT.
YOU WERE FRAMED.

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE, LADY.
I'M JUST DOING MY JOB.

MY JOB...

OF CONTROL-FREAK,
RULE-OBSESSED MONSTER.

HEY, KRONETY-KRONK-KRONK.

DID YOU ARREST YZMA?

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

SHE ONLY DID TWO THINGS

THAT WERE
AGAINST THE RULES.

KRONK, WE'VE ALREADY
GONE OVER THIS.

THREE IS THE MAGIC NUMBER.

I KNOW.

BUT IF YOU KEEP
HAVING ME DUNGEON PEOPLE,

YOU'LL END UP
EMPEROR OF NOTHING!

JUST LIKE THAT GUY...
IN THAT STORY...

WHO ENDED UP
EMPEROR OF NOTHING.

THANKS FOR THAT.
I'LL LOG THAT ONE AWAY.

NOW GO BACK TO YZMA
AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE
SHE DID WRONG.

LIKE WHAT?

WELL?

IT'S AGAINST THE RULES
TO SAY WELL.

BUT...KRONK!

EXCELLENT WORK, KRONK.

AIN'T RULING A BLAST?

YEAH, A BLAST.

NO BEING
A KINDLY FATHER FIGURE.

NO LLAMA-HERDING.

NO BEING A PEASANT.

NO BEING
A KINDLY MOTHER FIGURE.

NO HOUSEKEEPING.

NO BEING THE WIFE
OF A PEASANT.

NO BEING SMALL,
BEING ENERGETIC,

OR BEING THE KIDS
OF A PEASANT.

NO CHECKER-PLAYING.

NO BAD JOKES.

NO LAUGHING AT
YOUR OWN BAD JOKES.

NO LOOKING
LIKE EACH OTHER.

NO EATING HAY.

NO RECORD-KEEPING.

NO EXERCISE.

NO WIND CHIMES.

NO BEING HOTTIE-HOT-HOTTIE.

BOOM BAM, BABY.

WAIT,
AM I SEEING RIGHT?

DIDN'T THIS PLACE
USED TO BE MORE...

COLORFUL?

YEAH,
BUT YOU MADE ME DUNGEON

THE BACKGROUND PAINTERS,
TOO.

OH, YEAH. BEING
A BEHIND-THE-SCENES
MASTERMIND

IS A LOT OF WORK.

AND THAT MAKES ME

ONE HUNGRY
KING OF THE WORLD.

SO, BE A GOOD KRONK

AND FETCH ME
SOMETHING TO EAT.

CAFETERIA'S CLOSED.

MATA'S IN THE DUNGEON,
REMEMBER?

RIGHT.
FOR MAKING SQUID GOULASH,

FOR TALKING TOO SLOW,

AND FOR USING DINER SLANG

THAT EVEN SHE
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.

GO BOAT TWEENY
UP AND OVER

WITH A SPINNER
FOR THE BEST BOY.

STAT.

TECHNICALLY, I COULD
WHIP SOMETHING UP,

BUT I HAVE NO APPETITE.

EVERYONE THINKS
I'M A MONSTER.

MALINA THINKS I'M A MONSTER.

BUT IT'S REALLY YOU.

YOU'RE THE MONSTER.

HMM...
PIZZA OR BURGER,
BURGER OR PIZZA?

THAT'S IT!
I'M THROUGH!

OOH, I KNOW--
ICE CREAM.

WAIT,
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

YEAH. I QUIT!

HMM...WHO NEEDS HIM?

♪ LA LA LA DEE DEE ♪

♪ I'VE GOT THE PLACE
ALL TO ME ♪

♪ ME ME ME ME ME ♪

♪ YES, I DULY RULE ♪

♪ AND I RUN THE SCHOOL ♪

♪ LA LA LA DEE DEE ♪

♪ I'VE GOT
MORE ROOM FOR... ♪

♪ ME ♪

HEY, WHERE'S
THE BUG AND MONKEY?

OH, RIGHT...DUNGEON.

SEE, JUST LIKE KRONK
SAID WOULD HAPPEN--

YOU'RE THE EMPEROR
OF NOTHING.

WAY TO GO.

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, BOY.
YOU GOT POWER.

THAT'S NOT NOTHING.

POWER OVER WHAT?

HA! AN EMPTY SCHOOL,
AN EMPTY LIFE.

BIG WHOOPITY, SO WHAT?

YOUR BACKGROUNDS
AREN'T EVEN PAINTED.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE A STUPID
FLOATING DOUGHNUT HEAD.

THAT'S A HALO!

HMM...

MAYBE I MADE A MISTAKE.

MAKING UP KOO-KOO
KUZCO RULES--

THAT'S ONE.

BLACKMAILING
THE KRONKMEISTER--
THAT'S TWO.

AND NOT BEING ABLE
TO THINK OF A THIRD ONE--

THAT'S THREE.

BYE-BYE.

KUZCO?

HEY, EVERYBODY.

WOW, THE RULES UP THERE
ARE A LITTLE WEIRD, HUH?

YEAH,
BUT YOU MADE THEM.

LET HIM FINISH.

WELL, WHOEVER
CAME UP WITH THEM

NEEDS TO DO
SOME HARD THINKING

ABOUT WHAT IT TAKES
TO BE AN EMPEROR.

YOU MEAN, YOU.

NO, NO, NO, NO,
NOT ME.

I DON'T WANT TO SOUND
ALL MOLEGUACO ABOUT IT,

BUT I AM GOING
TO BE EMPEROR

AGAIN, EVENTUALLY, SO...

I GUESS IT COULDN'T HURT
TO PUT A LITTLE THOUGHT
IN THAT AREA.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

THOSE NEW RULES
DID SOME GOOD AFTER ALL.

EXCUSE ME, BOYS,

IF YOU'RE DONE WITH
THE HEART-TO-HEART,

WHERE'S THE KEY?

PONCHO POCKET,
LEFT-HAND SIDE.

NO PROBLEMO.
I'LL GET IT.

[STRAINING]

OK, LISTEN UP
TO OLD KRONK HERE.

I'VE GOT ONE
LAST NEW RULE TO ANNOUNCE.

IT'S THE NO MORE
MAKING NEW RULES RULE.

IT'S NAME IS
PRETTY SELF-EXPLANATORY.

NO NEW RULES.

THERE, THAT OUGHT
TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

WAIT A MINUTE.
NO NEW RULES,

BUT THAT'S A NEW RULE.

IT CANCELS ITSELF OUT.

OR DOES IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

MY HEAD HURTS.
I NEED A NAP.

KRONK OUT.

OpenSubtitles recommends using Nord VPN
from 3.49 USD/month ----> osdb.link/vpn