The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 13 - Oops, All Doodles/Chipmunky Business - full transcript

HI THERE. TODAY'S SHOW
IS REALLY FUNNY.

SO YOU'RE PROBABLY SAYING,

"HEY, KUZCO. WHAT'S THE SECRET
TO MAKING A FUNNY SHOW?"

WELL, IT'S SIMPLE.
IT'S A LITTLE THING

WE IN THE COMEDY BUSINESS
LIKE TO CALL "TIMING--

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪



YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!
[CHORUS] LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪
♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪



♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

Yzma: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.

THE INCAN FUNERAL MASK WAS
ONLY ON LOAN FROM THE MUSEUM.

IT CAN'T BE MISSING.

IT WAS HERE YESTERDAY.
NOW IT'S GONE.

THAT MEANS MISSING.

WELL, I KNOW WHO TOOK IT.
KUZCO.

HM. WHICH IS BETTER?

MY RIGHT PROFILE,
OR MY LEFT?

RIGHT, LEFT,
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

EXACTLY.

I'M ALL-AROUND HANDSOME.

DON'T PLAY INNOCENT,
YOU THIEF.

LOOK. I'D LOVE TO BLAME KUZCO,
AND WRAP THIS UP BEFORE LUNCH.

PERFECT.
- BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH FUN
THAT SOUNDS,

WE CAN'T DO IT.
- WHY?

BECAUSE WE NEED THE MASK BACK.

SO...

WHO WAS ON GUARD DUTY
LAST NIGHT?

THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY.

RELAX, MR. M.
I'LL CLEAR THIS ALL UP,

AND WE CAN FINISH
THIS EPISODE EARLY.

WELCOME TO KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S WHERE I
DRAW IT LIKE IT IS.

AND WAS.
CHECK IT OUT.

KUZCOP, REPORTING
FOR GUARD DUTY.

NO. JUST A SEC.

KUZCOP IS MORE
MUSCLE-LY THAN THAT.

YEAH. HEH-HEH.
THAT'S GOOD.

AND KUZCOP HAS ONE OF THOSE
COP-CLUB THINGIES.

OOP! AND DON'T FORGET
KUZCOP'S VICIOUS POLICE DOG.

HIS NAME IS FUZZ.
[LAUGHS] ALRIGHTEE!

MY EAGLE EYES SEE EVERYTHING.

MY RADAR EARS HEAR EVERYTHING.

AND MY LIGHTNING-FAST REFLEXES

CATCH EVERYTHING.

CALL ME SUPER-AWARE MAN!

SO THERE I WAS,
GUARDING THE MASK.

DON'T LET ME SLEEPING FOOL YA.

I ALWAYS SLEEP
WITH ONE EYE OPEN.

BOOM, BAM, BABY!
THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED.

"HE" APPEARED.

"I AMVIRACOCHA. THE CREATOR.
THE GREAT POWER ABOVE."

AND I SAID,
"HEY, YOU'RE THE TOP GUY.

THE MAIN MAN.
THE BIG KAHUNA.

MISTER HOT STUFF.
EL NUMERO UNO."

AND HE SAID,

" YES. I AM ALL THAT."

SO I WAS ALL, "LEMME GUESS.

YOU'RE HERE TO PRAISE ME,
ADMIRE ME,

BASK IN MY GLORIOUS GLORY?"
AND HE WAS ALL,

" NO. I HAVE MANIFESTED MYSELF
FOR ONE REASON,

AND ONE REASON ONLY.

THE MASK!"

AND I SAID,
"HANDS OFF THERE, KOOCHIE-KOO!"

THEN HE DID HIS IMPRESSION
OF A LLAMA,

AND TOLD A FUNNY RIDDLE.

IT WENT, "WHY DID THE GOD OF
CHICKENS CROSS THE ROAD?"

Mr. Moleguaco: STOP, STOP, STOP!
THAT'S YOUR STORY, KUZCO?

SURE, IT'S INTERESTING.

BUT IT'S MISSING SOMETHING.

LIKE, OH...
AN OUNCE OF TRUTH.

SO WHAT WAS THE ANSWER
TO THE CHICKEN RIDDLE?

THE ANSWER IS:
KUZCO'S A LIAR!

I AM NOT.

I DON'T GET IT.

COME ON, KUZCO. YOU'RE ALWAYS
MAKING UP TALL TALES.

MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU TOLD
THE REAL STORY.

OKAY, LOOK.

I KNOW I'VE MADE UP
A FEW TALL TALES IN THE PAST.

LIKE THE TIME I TOLD EVERYONE
I HAD A GIANT BLUE LLAMA

NAMED BABE. BUT I HAD TO.
THAT'S RIGHT.

SEE, I GOTTA KEEP THINGS
FROM GETTING BORING.

BY STRETCHING THE FACTS,

I MAKE THEM MORE INTERESTING.

AND THAT MAKES ME
MORE INTERESTING.

WHICH IS HARD TO DO,

SINCE I'M ALREADY
SO INTERESTING.

BUT THAT'S THE GREAT
KUZCO CURSE.

NOW, NOBODY BELIEVES ME.

WELL, I'M NOT GIVING UP.
'CAUSE...

MY STORY IS TRUE!

WHY ARE WE WASTING OUR TIME?

KUZCO TOOK THE MASK.

I KNOW. LET'S HEAR
KRONK'S SIDE OF THINGS.

I'M SURE HE CAN HELP US
GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

CAN'T YOU, KRONK?
[CACKLES] OH, YES.

GO ON.

TELL THE STORY
WE REHEARSED...

UH, I MEAN...
TELL US WHAT YOU SAW.

GO AHEAD, KRONK.

AND PLEASE DON'T LEAVE OUT
ANY DETAILS.

GOTCHA. MY MIND
IS LIKE A STEEL TRAP.

I REMEMBER EVERYTHING
AS IF IT WAS YESTERDAY.

WHICH IT WAS.
YESTERDAY.

GOT UP AT 6:27 A.M.
SHARP.

THEN I TOOK MY SPONGE BATH.

PLAYED WITH CHUBBY DUCKY.

HE'S A LITTLE FELLA
WHO'S CUTE.

AND HE'S YELLOW.
AND HE'S CHUBBY.

THEN I PICKED OUT MY CLOTHES.

ALWAYS A TOUGH DECISION.

FOR BREAKFAST, I HAD
MANGO JUICE WITH PULP.

A CHEESY FRITTATA,
A LOW-FAT MINI-MUFFIN,

AND A BISCOTTI.

ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL,
I SAID HI TO THE LLAMAS.

BLEETY-BLEET AND BLEET!

I STOPPED TO CHAT
WITH TOBO AND IPI.

"YOU CHECKERIN' UP ON US?"
THEY SAID. [LAUGHS]

THOSE LITTLE JOKESTERS.

"CHECKERIN'".

I SAW A TRI-COLOR BRUSH FINCH.

SEVENTEENTH ONE THIS MONTH.

AT THREE COLORS PER FINCH,
THAT'S 51 COLORS--

Yzma: KRONK!

SPEED IT UP.

MY BRAIN, OR WHAT'S LEFT OF IT,
IS HURTING.

RIIIIIGHT.

NIGHT FELL.

AND MALINA AND I
SHOWED UP FOR GUARD DUTY.

KUZCO WAS SLEEPIN',
MAKING FUNNY NOISES.

SNORTY-SNORT-SNORT
SNOREY-SNORE.

SO MALINA AND I
WATCHED THE MASK.

THEN MALINA WENT OUT
TO HER LOCKER.

AND I FOLLOWED, BECAUSE THAT
MASK WAS CREEPIN' ME OUT.

AND WHEN WE GOT BACK,

THE MASK WAS GONE!

YEAH, THERE WAS
ONE OTHER THING.

SOMETHING ELSE...
IMPORTANT.

CAN'T QUITE PUT
MY FINGER ON IT...

KRONK. THAT WAS
A BRILLIANT PERFORMANCE.

NO ONE WILL SUSPECT
THAT IT WAS YOU WHO TOOK IT.

BUT I REALLY
DIDN'T TAKE IT.

WHAT? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO,
REMEMBER?

STEAL THE MASK.
PLANT IT ON KUZCO.

KUZCO GETS BLAMED. KUZCO
GETS EXPELLED. BRILLIANT.

OH, THAT'S THE OTHER THING
I WAS SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER.

I FORGOT.

WELL...THEN IF YOU
DIDN'T TAKE THE MASK,

WHO DID?

Kuzco: HEY,
DON'T LOOK AT ME.

WHY WOULD I WANT
A FUNERAL MASK?

WHY WOULD I WANT ANY MASK?

AND DENY MY FANS THIS?

YEP. I DEFINITELY LOOK GOOD
BOTH WAYS.

YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT ONE,
PRINCIPAL AMZI.

WOW! WHEN DID WE GET THAT?

YOU TOOK THE MASK.

YOU KNOW YOU DID.

NO ONE BELIEVES
THE TALL TALE YOU MADE UP.

YES, KUZCO MAY HAVE DREAMED UP
THE WHOLEVIRACOCHA STORY,

BUT NOT TO COVER UP A CRIME.

I THINK HE REALLY
DREAMED IT.

HERE'S ME. AND KRONK,
LOOKING GOOD.

AND KUZCO. SO.

WE ALL SHOWED UP
TO GUARD THE MASK.

KUZCO FELL ASLEEP--

Kuzco: WHOA. HOLD ON.
THAT'S NOT HOW I LOOK.

I AM MUCH HANDSOMER.

Malina: KUZCO?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THESE ARE MY DOODLES.

Kuzco: UH, I'VE GOT AN IMAGE
TO KEEP UP?

Malina: I'LL CUT RIGHT
TO THE CHASE.

ONLY A BAD GUY WOULD STEAL

A MASK AS RARE AND AS VALUABLE
AS THIS.

AND IN OUR CASE,
A BAD GIRL. YZMA.

Yzma: IT'S PREPOSTEROUS.

WHY WOULD YZMA STEAL THIS MASK?

THE GIRL IS OBVIOUSLY SIDING
WITH KUZCO AGAINST ME.

UH...I MEAN,
AGAINST YZMA.

WELL, YOU SEE, PRINCIPAL AMZI.
IF YZMA CONVINCED EVERYONE THAT

KUZCO STOLE THE MASK, THEN KUZCO
WOULD BE EXPELLED.

AND YZMA WOULD EQUAL EMPRESS.

WE MUST QUESTION YZMA.

[SNORTS] VERY WELL.

I'LL GET HER.

SO. YOU WANT MY STORY, HUH?

FIRST OFF, THERE WAS NO WAY

I HAD ANYTHING TO DO
WITH THE THEFT OF ANYTHING,

MUCH LESS A MASK.

I WAS IN MY SEWING ROOM,

QUILTING A WONDERFUL BLANKET
FOR MAMA YZMA.

THEN I WORKED IN MY GARDEN.

THE LILIES WERE IN BLOOM.

LATER, I DID
THE SPRING FASHION SHOW.

THE THEME THIS YEAR WAS,
"PURPLE IS THE NEW PURPLE".

AND AFTER A GIG WITH MY BAND,
THE E'S,

I SPENT THE REST OF THE NIGHT

FEEDING THE POOR, HUNGRY
WOODLAND CREATURES,

WHO HAVE NO HOME.

WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE
ANYTHING YOU SAY?

BECAUSE I'M 100% TOTALLY
INNOCENT OF ANY CRIME.

LAST NIGHT.

PEOPLE, THIS ISN'T
GETTING US ANYWHERE.

SOMEONE TOOK THE MASK.

[MAN] AFFIRMATIVE.

[GASPS] A VAMPIRE!

NAME'S CAMERON.
CAM, FOR SHORT.

I WORK SECURITY.
YOU CAN CALL ME...

SECURITY CAM.
[KRONK LAUGHS]

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN HERE?

I WAS INSTALLED
YESTERDAY.

THE MUSEUM NEVER LENDS THE MASK
WITHOUT PROPER SECURITY.

JUST HURRY UP AND TELL US
WHAT YOU SAW.

MY BLOOD SUGAR'S
GETTING LOW.

AFFIRMATIVE.

I SAW...EVERYTHING.

THIS CIRCLE STANDS
FOR KUZCO.

THIS IS MALINA.

AND THIS IS KRONK.

AT APPROXIMATELY 1900 HOURS,

THEY ARRIVED TO GUARD
THE MASK.

THEN KUZCO TRIED
TO KISS MALINA.

AND SHE PUSHED HIM AWAY.

MALINA LEFT THE ROOM.

KRONK SPLIT, TOO.

WHICH LEFT KUZCO
ALONE WITH THE MASK.

THEN HE INSTANTLY TOOK A TRIP
ON THE OLD SNOOZE TRAIN.

THEN HE WOKE UP

WHENVIRACOCHA ARRIVED

AND TOOK THE MASK.

VIRACOCHA WAS THE THIEF?

SO KUZCO REALLY DID
TELL THE TRUTH?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU ALL OWE ME
A BIG FAT APOLOGY.

[SNORTS] YOU CAN'T TRUST
THAT SECURITY CAM.

KUZCO'S LYING!

Man: UH...NO,
HE'S NOT.

VIRACOCHA!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
A MYTH.

DIDN'T SEE A THING.
DIDN'T SEE A THING.

THANKS FOR TOTALLY
RUINING MY DAY.

YO, V-MAN!

I TOLD EVERYONE IT WAS YOU,

BUT THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.

HELLO.

PACHA?
PACHA?

PACHA?
MR. CHECHA?

YES, IT'S ME.

WHAT THE BLAZES
ARE YOU DOING?

HOLA! IT'S TIME FOR
PACHA'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART WHERE I EXPLAIN
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

EVERY YEAR, I GO TO

THE KUZCONIAN EMPIRE'S
ANNUAL RENAISSANCE FAIR

AND LLAMA RACE.

AND EVERY YEAR, ALL MY FRIENDS

HAVE REALLY GREAT COSTUMES.

EXCEPT FOR ME.

BUT WITH THAT MASK,
THIS YEAR,

I'D HAVE THE BEST
OUTFIT OF ALL.

VIRACOCHA.

Kuzco: AW, GEE, THANKS, PACHA!

I WAS ALMOST IN SOME
SERIOUS TROUBLE, HERE.

NOBODY BELIEVED ME,
AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

HEY, IT WASN'T MY
TAKING THE MASK

THAT MADE EVERYONE
NOT BELIEVE YOU.

IT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE ALWAYS SPEWING

THOSE OUTRAGEOUS
TALL TALES.

I DON'T WANNA SOUND MEAN, BUT

REALLY, WHO WOULD EVER
BELIEVE YOU?

OH, YEAH?

WELL, I GUESS SOMETIMES

MY TALL TALES CAN BE
A LITTLE...

UH...TALL.

I GUESS NO ONE OWES ME
AN APOLOGY, AFTER ALL.

THAT'S RIGHT.
WE DON'T.

BUT WE'RE SORRY,
ANYWAY.

AND WE'LL TRY TO BELIEVE YOU
IN THE FUTURE.

GOOD. AND I'LL TRY
TO FORGIVE YOU.

IT'S TIME FOR
KUZCO'S DOODLES.

SEE, HERE'S THE DEAL.

IT TURNS OUT, PACHA
FORGOT TO TELL MR. M

ABOUT USING THE MASK
FOR HIS LITTLE DRESS-UP PARTY.

HE FELT REAL BAD,

SO HE AGREED NOT ONLY
TO PAY THE LATE FEE,

BUT ALSO TO POLISH
THE ENTIRE KUZCO ACADEMY.

UH, PACHA?
YOU MISSED A SPOT.

HA HA! SILLY PACHA.

THE END.

♪ K-U-Z-C-O ♪

♪ KUZCO, KUZCO, GO GO! ♪

Kuzco: KUZCLUB WEEK?

I GOTTA JOIN A CLUB
FOR A WHOLE WEEK,

OR I DON'T GRADUATE?

WHAT LLAMA-BRAIN
CAME UP WITH THAT?

YOU DID.

IT WAS ONE OF YOUR
EMPEROR DECREES.

OH. WELL...

I MUST'VE GONE TEMPORARILY
LLAMA-LOCO,

'CAUSE I DON'T
LIKE CLUBS.

THEY'RE ALL TEAM-WORKY
AND HARD.

WHY NOT TRY
JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS?

KRONK'S PACK LEADER.

MAYBE HE'LL CUT YOU
SOME SLACK.

YAY! SLACK!

I MEAN...WHO SAID
I WANT IT EASY?

I'M A TOUGHITY-TOUGH
TOUGH GUY.

FINE. THERE ARE LOTS
OF CLUBS.

I SUPPOSE YOU WANT
TO HAVE A LITTLE MONTAGE,

WHERE YOU TRY OUT
A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT ONES

BEFORE FINALLY ADMITTING
I'M RIGHT,

AND JOINING JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS.

YAY! MONTAGE!

SO THEN I TRIED A WHOLE BUNCH
OF DIFFERENT CLUBS--

STOP IT! KUZCO, JUST JOIN
JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS.

AND I'M PLEASED TO REPORT
THAT, FOR KUZCLUB WEEK,

I'VE GOT A NEW
JUNIOR CHIPMUNK RECRUIT.

[DEEP BREATH] DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH.
DAH-DAH-DAH-DIT-DEE DAH.

DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH DIT-DAH.

DAH-DAH-DAH-DAHHH!

KUZCO!

KUZCO JOINED JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS?

YEAH. DIDN'T YOU HEAR MY LITTLE
DAH-TI-DAH-TI-DAH-TI-DAH THING?

THIS IS PERFECT.

AS EVERYONE KNOWS,

JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS HAVE TO
EARN PATCHES.

ALL SORTS OF SILLY PATCHES.

AND IF KUZCO DOESN'T
EARN A PATCH,

HE WON'T PASS KUZCLUB WEEK.
AND HE'LL FAIL.

Kronk: HEY, STOP RIGHT THERE.

BUT I DIDN'T GET TO
MY BRILLIANT PLAN YET.

YEAH. SORRY, PRINCIPAL AMZI,

BUT I CAN TELL THAT YOU'RE
NOT QUITE GETTING THE SPIRIT

OF KUZCLUB WEEK.

BUT THAT'S OKAY, KRONK.

FOR, YOU SEE,

I AM YZMA!

NO WAY!

WHAT? YOU JUST DRESS UP
LIKE AMZI,

AND THEN WAIT ALL DAY
FOR A CHANCE

TO DO THE BIG REVEAL?

AH, PRETTY MUCH.

NOW, TO THE
JUNIOR CHIPMUNK CAMP!

WHERE WE WILL...

PREVENT KUZCO FROM
EARNING A PATCH!

NO, NO, NO.
NO WAY, IZ-MAY.

JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS
IS MY TURF.

IT'S ALL ABOUT WORKIN' HARD.
TEAMWORK. SELFLESSNESS.

SO YOU BACK AWAY.
AND I'M NOT KIDDIN', LADY.

YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF.

I GOTTA DRAW THE LINE
SOMEWHERE.

YOU KNOW I HAVE TO.

AND I'M DRAWIN' IT
RIGHT-RIGHT--

UH...YOU GOT ANY PAPER
FOR...THE LINE-DRAW?

THANKS! OKAY.

I'M DRAWIN' THE LINE.
RIGHT...

WHAT ABOUT A PEN?

THERE'S GOTTA BE A PEN
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

LINE AIN'T GONNA
DRAW ITSELF!

[ECHOING] HELLO!
ED?

DON'T WORRY, KRONK.

I WILL KEEP MY HANDS OFF.

ZIM! ZAM! GET IN HERE!

YES, AUNT YZMA.

AH, MY FAVORITE NEPHEWS.

I HAVE A LITTLE
ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU.

[CACKLING]

[LAUGHING]
WELCOME, NEW RECRUITS,

TO THE JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS.

YOU MIGHT THINK
LIFE IN THE 'MUNKS

IS GONNA BE EASY.

NO KIDDING. WE JUST
TALK TO SOME SQUIRRELS,

AND WE'RE HOME BY, WHAT?
NOON? WHAT'S THE POINT?

THE POINT...IS SURVIVAL.

TEAMWORK. BEING UNSELFISH.

Y'ALL GOT A LOT TO LEARN.

AND IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE,
IN THIS:

THE CHIMPUNKUAL.

THAT'S THE WORD "CHIPMUNK",

COMBINED WITH THE WORD "MANUAL".
YOU GET IT?

YEAH, I GET IT.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE
BOOK-THINGS.

MORE THAN THAT.

IT'S A LIST OF
THE OVER 100 PATCHES

YOU WILL ATTEMPT TO EARN
WHILE A MEMBER OF THE 'MUNKS.

BUT, KRONK.
WE'VE ONLY GOT ONE WEEK.

WELL THEN, WHAT ARE WE
WAITING FOR?

LET'S GET STARTED.

YAY! MONTAGE.

Kronk: THE ROPE-MAKING PATCH.

WE ARE NOW TESTING THE STRENGTH
OF THE ROPES YOU HAVE MADE.

SO...ARE YOU TWO,
LIKE, RELATED?

[SCREAMS]

[CRUNCH]
OOF!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]
I'M OKAY.

[GIGGLING]

Kronk: THE STONE-CUTTING PATCH.

THE KEY IS TO PERFECTLY
CUT EACH STONE,

TO FORM-FIT ITS NEIGHBOR.

[GRUNTING, GROANING]

[BOOM]
[PANTING]

WELL, IT'S EASIER THAN IT LOOKS,
HUH, KUZCO?

HA HA HA.
[YIPES]

NOT SO EASY.

[GIGGLING]

Kronk: THE CANOEING PATCH.

[DRILLING]

YAH!

Zim, Zam: [GIGGLING]

Kronk: THE COOKING PATCH.

Zim, Zam: [GIGGLING]

Kronk: THE ARCHERY PATCH.

NO! BELIEVE ME,

YOU DO NOT WANNA
SEE WHAT HAPPENED.

TRUST ME. LET'S JUST
MOVE ALONG.

MOVE ALONG. MOVE ALONG!

WOW, KUZCO.

I'VE NEVER, NEVER SEEN ANYONE
FAIL EVERY PATCH.

THAT'S GOTTA BE SOME KIND
OF RECORD.

GUESS JUNIOR CHIPMUNK'S
NOT SO EASY AFTER ALL.

NOT QUITE GOING THE WAY
I THOUGHT.

BUT I BLAME THOSE TWO.

THE TROUBLEMINT TWINS.

THEY KEEP THROWIN' ME
OFF MY GROOVE.

I'M SORRY, KUZCO. BUT AS PACK
LEADER, I HAVE TO INFORM YOU

THAT IF YOU FAIL TO EARN
A PATCH, YOU [SIGHS]

FAIL KUZCLUB WEEK.

I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU WON'T
GRADUATE,

OR GAIN YOUR FULL
EMPEROR TITLE.

HUH?

WOW. YOUR WHOLE LIFE
JUST WENT DOWN THE TUBES, HUH.

KER-FLUSH.
NO NO NO NO.

THERE'S GOTTA BE AT LEAST ONE
MORE PATCH IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

WELL, I MEAN, THE ONLY ONE LEFT

IS THE ONE PATCH EVEN

I HAVEN'T EARNED.

THE CONDOR PATCH.
♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

WHAT THE HEY?

THAT MUSIC? YEAH.

IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME
YOU SAY "CONDOR PATCH".

♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

OH. COOL.

[CLEARS THROAT]
"CONDOR PATCH."

♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

EARNING THE CONDOR PATCH--

♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

IS NOT GONNA BE EASY, KUZCO.

IT'S NOT GONNA BE...

EASY!
RIGHT.

THE CONDOR PATCH!

♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

HEY. STOP SAYIN' THAT.

CONDOR PATCH? CONDOR PATCH.
CONDOR PATCH. CONDOR PATCH.

CONDOR PATCH! CONDOR PATCH.
CONDOR PATCH...

♪ [MILITARY DRUMS] ♪
HEY!

Kronk: JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS,
FOLLOW ME!

[CHORUS] JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS,
ONE TWO THREE!

Kronk: JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS,
SHOW YOUR SKILL!

[CHORUS] JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS,
CLIMB THAT HILL!

Kronk: JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS,
EVERY TIME!

[CHORUS] JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS,
FORCE THAT LINE!

[CONDOR, SCREECHING]

WELL, THAT WASN'T SO BAD.

OH, NO, NO.
THAT WAS THE EASY PART.

YOU MEAN...
THERE'S MORE?

OH, YOU BETCHA.

WE GOTTA RETRIEVE
A CONDOR FEATHER.

THAT'S HOW YOU'LL EARN
A CONDOR BADGE.

♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

NOT IF WE CAN HELP IT!

WELL, ZAM?
HOW SHALL WE DO IT?

I KNOW!

STEP ONE: TURN KUZCO INTO
A GREAT, STINKY ARMADILLO.

STEP TWO: FEED HIM MILK THAT IS
PAST ITS EXPIRATION DATE.

AND STEP THREE? ARMADILLO KUZCO
GETS A BIG STOMACH ACHE.

IT'S BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT.
BRILLIANT!

UH...HOW EXACTLY
DOES THAT STOP HIM

FROM EARNING
THE CONDOR PATCH?

♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

THEN WE'LL JUST USE

THIS! A-HA HA HA
HA HA!

[CACKLING]

[SIGHS] ISN'T THERE
AN "OUT-OF-BREATH,

I GIVE UP, OKAY I ADMIT IT, THIS
CHIPMUNK THING IS HARD" PATCH?

YOU CAN DO IT, KUZCO!

ALL YOU NEED'S
A DRINK OF WATER.

HERE!
TAKE OURS.

GOOD IDEA. JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS
ALWAYS SHARE.

TO THE JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS.
[GULPS]

[SIZZLES]

IT WORKED!
HE DRANK IT!

LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.

WHAT FOOLS! BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!

[GIGGLING]

HUH. THAT GLOATING AND LAUGHTER
SOUNDED ODDLY FAMILIAR.

UGH. THAT'S
A FUNNY AFTERTASTE.

NOT GOOD.

HA! YOU'RE A STUPID
CHIPMUNK-FACE.

THAT'S FUNNY.

[SCREAMS] I'M A STUPID
CHIPMUNK-FACE!

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

YEAH, YEAH. YOU KNOW
WHAT ELSE ISN'T FUNNY?

CHIPMUNKS ARE A CONDOR'S
FAVORITE FOOD.

[SCREAMS]
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!

[CONDOR'S SCREECH]

[SCREECH]

WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?

OH, LET'S SEE.

WHAT SOMEBODY IS ALWAYS
TURNING ME INTO ANIMALS?

YZMA?
DUH, YEAH!

AND SHE USED ZIM
AND ZAM TO DO IT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE CROSSED THE LINE.

I MEAN, WHAT'S THE POINT
OF A LINE

IF PEOPLE JUST CROSS IT
ANY OLD WHICH WAY?

COURSE, I NEVER DID
FIND A PEN.

WAIT A MINUTE. AREN'T
JUNIOR CHIPMUNKS

ABLE TO YACKITY-YAK WITH
ALL THE WOODLAND CREATURES?

SURE. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

WELL, GO OUT THERE
AND TALK TO THAT CONDOR!

RIIIIIGHT. HEY!
NOW YOU'RE THINKIN'.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE TURNIN' OUT
TO BE A GREAT JUNIOR CHIPMUNK.

THANK YOU.
♪ [MILITARY DRUMS] ♪

Kronk: HEY THERE!
GIANT BIRD PAL!

SQUAWKY-SQUAWK,
SQUAWKIN' SQUAWK!

Condor: SQUAWK!
SQUAWK-SQUAWK SQUAWK!

Kronk: HA HA HA!
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!

SQUAWKIN-DEE SQUAWK
SQUAWKIN' SQUAWK!

Condor: AH HA HA HA HAAA...!

[SCREECHING]

THANKS! YOU'RE THE BEST!

SQUAWKIN' SQUAWKER
SQUAWK SQUAWK.

Condor: SQUAWK!
NO PROBLEM.

WHEW! GLAD THAT POTION
WORE OFF.

I PREFER MY "ME" TO HAVE
MORE ME IN IT.

YEAH. YZMA'S POTIONS ARE A
GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS KIND OF DEAL.

THE GOOD NEWS IS, THEY WORK.

AND THE BAD NEWS IS,
THEY WEAR OFF.

YOU KNOW. OR, IN THIS CASE,
THE, UH, BAD NEWS IS,

THEY WORK. AND THE GOOD NEWS IS,
THEY WEAR OFF.

YEAH, I GUESS IT DEPENDS
ON WHETHER YOU'RE

GIVING THE POTION,
OR TAKING THE POTION.

THE POINT IS, YZMA'S POTIONS

ALWAYS HAVE SOME KIND OF NEWS
ATTACHED.

AND IT'S EITHER GOOD OR BAD,

IN RELATION TO THE SPECIFIC
CIRCUMSTANCES.

THE GOOD NEWS IS,
I DIDN'T WANNA UNDERSTAND

ANYTHING YOU JUST SAID.

AND I DIDN'T.

AND THE BAD NEWS IS,

YOU DIDN'T EVEN
EARN A PATCH.

UH UH UH. BUT I
DID MANAGE TO GET...

THIS!

A CONDOR FEATHER!

IT SORTA JUST
CAME OFF IN MY HAND.

BUT ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW,

ALL THAT STUFF YOU SAID
ABOUT SURVIVAL,

AND TEAMWORK, AND BEING
UNSELFISH?

THAT'S YOU, KRONK.
NOT ME.

YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO DESERVES THIS.

[GASPING] I CAN FINALLY
GET MY CONDOR PATCH.

♪ [ORCHESTRAL SURGE] ♪

OH, KUZCO.

AND YOU DIDN'T DO
SO BAD, YOURSELF!

YEAH, I THINK I SAW A LITTLE
JUNIOR CHIPMUNK SPIRIT IN YOU.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE
A CHIPMUNK SPIRIT IN YOU.

IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH.

ANYWAYS, YOU EARNED THIS.

Kronk: THE "I DIDN'T EARN
A SINGLE PATCH" PATCH.

YAY! WOO-HOO!

WHO'S THE BIG BAD
PATCH-EARNER?

UH, THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S...ME.

ME ME ME-ME-ME.

UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH!

HOO HOO!
[SIGHS]

BUT WHAT ABOUT
ZIM AND ZAM?

AREN'T WE GONNA DO
ANYTHING ABOUT THEM?

UH...REVENGE IS NOT
THE JUNIOR CHIPMUNK WAY.

OHHH...

HOWEVER, IT IS
THE CONDOR WAY.

KUZCO EARNED A PATCH?

OUTRAGEOUS!

WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES?

SORRY, AUNT YZMA.

[CONDOR SCREECH]

PUT THEM DOWN,
YOU OVERSTUFFED PELICAN!

[SCREECH]

Kronk: DUN-DUH-DUH DAHHH!

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR
KRONK'S BONUS DOODLE CREDITS.

THAT'S WHERE I, KRONK, DO SOME
BONUS DOODLES FOR THE CREDITS.

THAT'S THE NAME.

AND NOW, MEET OUR
HARD-WORKING CREW.

BLEETY-BLEET BLEETIN'.

YEAH. ACTUALLY,
IT'S JUST THESE TWO

WHO DO ALL THE HARD WORK.

WHEREAS THIS FELLA...WELL.

HE'S WHAT WE CALL...

THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.

YEAH.