The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 11 - Fortune Cookie Day/Gold Fools - full transcript

HEY, THERE. BET YOU DIDN'T
KNOW I WAS A FORTUNE TELLER.

WATCH.
THE GREAT KUZCO PREDICTS

THERE'S ABOUT TO BE
THEME MUSIC ALL ABOUT...

ME.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪

YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪



EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪



♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

WELCOME TO EXOTIC FOOD
FROM FAR AWAY DAY.

FEATURING
MATA'S FAMOUS
SWEDISH MEATBALLS,

MATA'S FAMOUS
SPANISH RICE,

MATA'S FAMOUS
BOSTON BAKED BEANS,

AND MATA'S FAMOUS...

FORTUNE COOKIES?

I'LL TRY ANYTHING
WITH THE WORD
"FORTUNE" IN IT.

GROSS.

WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT A COOKIE WITH
A CHEWY PAPER CENTER?

THAT, MR. GOURMET,
IS THE FORTUNE.

SEE? "YOU ARE
SMART, BEAUTIFUL

AND WILL CONQUER
ALL OBSTACLES."

MM, SOUNDS LIKE
YOU GOT MINE.

HEY, SOMEBODY,
NEW FORTUNE COOKIE
FOR THE EMPEROR.

GOT YOU COVERED THERE,
BIG GUY.

HERE YOU GO.

OH, THANKS, KRONK.

"YOU WILL BE SWEPT
OFF YOUR FEET

BY A HANDSOME HERO."

ALL RIGHT, CLEARLY,
WE'VE GOT A QUALITY
CONTROL PROBLEM HERE.

DO I LOOK LIKE
A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS?

DON'T ANSWER THAT.

Kronk: WHAT GIRL?

OOF!

AHEM. KRONK,
I WONDER IF I MIGHT
REFRESH YOUR MEMORY

AS TO A CHAT WE'VE HAD
EVERY NOW AND THEN

OVER THE YEARS
REGARDING...

NO TOUCHY!

BUT I SAVED YOUR LIFE.

LOOK.

THAT WAS CLOSE.
YEAH, CLOSE.

GUESS THAT MAKES ME
A HANDSOME HERO

WHO SWEPT YOU
OFF YOUR FEET.

HEY! IT'S ALMOST LIKE
MY FORTUNE CAME TRUE.

TALK ABOUT YOUR
BARELY INTERESTING
COINCIDENCES.

COINCIDENCE?
MAYBE.

OH, BY THE WAY,
HERE ARE SOME MORE COOKIES.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH ALL THESE?

DON'T ASK ME.
ASK THE COOKIES.

UH, I GOTTA GO.

IT'S ALREADY TIME
FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE I TELL YOU

ALL ABOUT MY FORTUNATE
FORTUNE COOKIES.

LIKE I SAID,
I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE

THESE THINGS
COULD TELL THE FUTURE,

BUT IT COULDN'T HURT
TO OPEN A FEW MORE.

THE VERY NEXT FORTUNE
I GOT SAID,

"UNEXPECTED RICHES
WILL COME YOUR WAY."

AND THEN I FOUND
A KUZ-COIN
IN THE LLAMA FOUNTAIN.

MY NEXT FORTUNE SAID,

"GLORY AWAITS YOU
ON THE PLAYING FIELD."

THEN, I SCORED
A GOAL IN GYM...

RIGHT PAST SUPER GOALIE
KRONK.

GOAL!

[BEATBOXING]

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO, KUZCO,
GO, GO!

[IMITATING
CROWD CHEERING]

IT WAS THE LAST FORTUNE
THAT REALLY GOT ME.

IT SAID, "BIG CHANGES
WILL COME WHEN YOU
LEAST EXPECT THEM."

[TEETH CHATTERING]

THE COOKIES TALKED
ABOUT WEALTH, GLORY,
AND BIG CHANGES,

AND IT
ALL CAME TRUE.

THESE FORTUNE COOKIES
REALLY WORK.

UH, YEAH, WEIRD.

HA HA! IT'S PERFECT.

NOW THAT KUZCO
IS HOOKED
ON THE COOKIES,

IT'S TIME TO DELIVER
THE FINAL FORTUNE!

YOU KNOW THE ONE
I MEAN, KRONK.

"A SMILE IS A FROWN
TURNED UPSIDE DOWN."

NOT THAT ONE!

THIS ONE!

"TURN OVER YOUR KINGDOM
TO YZMA."

MMM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"MMM"? WHAT'S WRONG?

WELL, IT'S CLEAR
AND DIRECT.

I LIKE THAT,
BUT, UH...

BUT WHAT?! BUT WHAT?!

WELL, IT JUST
SEEMS LIKE, UH...
LIKE, UH...

YOU NEED TO GIVE
A REASON WHY HE SHOULD
TURN OVER THE KINGDOM.

KRONK, THAT'S WHY
WE'VE BEEN DOING ALL THIS!

THE COOKIES,
THE FORTUNES,

YOU MAKING
THE FORTUNES COME TRUE,

SO THAT KUZCO WILL OBEY
WITHOUT QUESTION!

THIS WAS ALL EXPLAINED
IN MY MEMO.

YOU DIDN'T LOSE MY MEMO,
DID YOU, KRONK?

NO, NO!, I, UH...

I FILED IT UNDER..."M."

BY THE WAY,
THE "M" DRAWER'S
GETTIN' FULL.

HA HA...NOW HERE'S
WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO.

DELIVER
THE FINAL FORTUNE!

[THUNDER]

YOU MIND IF I
MAYBE GET A BITE
TO EAT FIRST?

I HAVEN'T EATEN
ANYTHING TODAY
BUT COOKIES.

OK, A QUICK BITE
TO EAT, THEN...

DELIVER
THE FINAL FORTUNE!

[THUNDER]

♪ OH...BUP BUP BUP BUP ♪

♪ BA DUP BA DUP
BA DUP ♪

♪ BA BA DUP,
BA DEE BA DO BA DEE ♪

♪ BAH! ♪

♪ DEE BA DEE BA DEE
BA DEE BA DEE ♪

Kuzco: AND EVERY SINGLE
FORTUNE CAME TRUE,

LIKE, IMMEDIATELY?

ARE YOU SURE IT'S
NOT SOME KIND OF TRICK?

NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU
CAN BE PRETTY GULLIBLE.

THANKS.

UH...THAT'S
LIKE "LOVABLE," RIGHT?

YEAH, THAT'S
WHAT IT MEANS.

IT'S ADORABLE
THAT OUR EMPEROR

TAKES ORDERS
FROM FORTUNE COOKIES.

NO, NO!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

ALL I SAID WAS
THE FORTUNES WERE
COMING TRUE.

KUZCO DOESN'T TAKE ORDERS
FROM ANYONE, ANYTHING,
OR ANY COOKIE.

[CATAPULT FIRES]

"YOU WILL GO TO BED."

WELL, GOOD NIGHT.

THAT'S
NOT EVEN A FORTUNE.

HEY, LOOKIE!
ANOTHER COOKIE.

"TOMORROW AT 5:00,
YOU WILL TURN INTO
A HAIRLESS SLOTH."

WHAT?!

NO! SAY IT ISN'T SO,
COOKIE!

I DON'T WANT TO BE
A...A...SLOTH-FACE!

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO?

HUH?
OH, THERE'S MORE?

"UNLESS YOU TURN OVER
YOUR KINGDOM TO...
YZMA"?

Malina:
YOUR FORTUNE SAID

YOU'RE GOING TO TURN
INTO A SLOTH AT 5:00

UNLESS YOU TURN OVER
YOUR KINGDOM TO YZMA?

HAIRLESS SLOTH!

AND YOU BELIEVED IT?

UHH,
TALK ABOUT GULLIBLE.

[THINKING] YES!
SHE CALLED ME GULLIBLE.

THANKS.

KUZCO?
HMM?

READ THIS.

"GULLIBLE, ADJECTIVE:
EASILY DECEIVED; FOOLISH."

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T
BELIEVE EVERYTHING
YOU READ, MALINA.

THEN DON'T BELIEVE
THAT FORTUNE.

IT'S SO OBVIOUSLY
A TRICK.

SEE? I KNEW YOU
WERE GONNA SAY THAT

'CAUSE THEN I GOT
THIS FORTUNE.

"IT'S NOT OBVIOUSLY
A TRICK."

KUZCO,
YZMA WROTE THIS.

LOOK.

WHAT? A LOT OF PEOPLE
DOT THEIR Is

WITH A SMILING,
EVIL YZMA DOT.

YOU KNOW,
I'D REALLY, REALLY LOVE
TO BELIEVE YOU, MALINA,

BUT..."DO NOT BELIEVE
MALINA."

YEAH, I'M SORRY.

COOKIES HAVE SPOKEN.

NOW I'VE GOT A 5:00,
AND I CAN'T BE LATE.

HASTA.

AAH!
MALINA?

THAT'S KRONK'S
LOCKER.

NO WAY!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?

SHH! YOU GUYS,
I'M TRYING TO HELP KUZCO.

[GASP] KUZCO
ISIN KRONK'S LOCKER?

NO WAY!

KUZCO'S A LOCKER LURKER?

NO. KUZCO IS NOT
IS NOT IN HERE,

BUT THE PROOF
I NEED MIGHT BE.

HMM...

LLAMA SADDLE,
CHEF'S HAT, BEACH BALL,

TAP SHOES?

BIRD CALLS
OF THE PERUVIAN JUNGLE.

AHA!

[READING TO HERSELF]

I KNEW IT!

WHERE IS KUZCO?

THE FORTUNE TOLD HIM 5:00.

NO RESPECT
FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME.

HEY, YZMA.

GOT YOUR MESSAGE
ABOUT DOIN'
THE HANDOFF UP HERE.

DRAMATIC--
I LIKE IT.

SO, AM I, UH,
TOO LATE?

GUESS NOT, SINCE
I STILL HAVE HAIR,

AND I'M NOT
ALL SLOTHED-OUT.

NEVER MIND THAT.

LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

I'VE GOT A FITTING
FOR EMPRESS ROBES,

AND I'VE ALREADY
RESCHEDULED TWICE!

RIGHT, OK.

YO, LITTLE HAT GUY,
GET IN HERE!

MAKE WITH THE HANDING
OVER THE KINGDOM DEALY,

AND, UH, HURRY,
CHOP CHOP,
WE'RE ON DEADLINE.

BUT--BUT, SIRE,
ARE YOU SURE
THAT YOU WOULD--

WHAT? ARE YOU QUESTIONING
MY DECISION?

I'M STILL TOP DOG,
YOU KNOW?

FOR A COUPLE
OF MORE MINUTES,

THEN SHE'LL BE THE DOG.

UH, YE-YES, SIRE.

KUZCO! THERE'S
STILL ONE LAST COOKIE.

WHAT? HUH?

GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!

WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?

WOW. THIS
IS A BIG ONE.

"MEMO TO KRONK,
FROM YZMA.

RE: EVIL FORTUNE COOKIE
KINGDOM-STEALING
SCHEME."

HMM.

HEY! MY MEMO!

THANKS. WONDERED
WHERE I LEFT THAT.

I MEAN, I FILED THAT
UNDER "M."

I MEAN, I'VE NEVER
SEEN THAT BEFORE.

UGH...

DO YOU NEEDMORE PROOF?

OH, MALINA,
I KNOW YOU'RE
ONLY TRYIN' TO HELP,

BUT STUFFING A COOKIE
WITH A FAKE FORTUNE
TO FRAME KRONK?

COME ON.
YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.

LET'S GET
A MOVE ON, GANG!

SUNDIAL SAYS
ONLY ONE MINUTE

TILL I BECOME AN UGLY
SLOTH-FACED THING.

WAIT!
YOU KEEP SAYING THAT.

MOUNTAIN HARVEST TIME
STARTED THIS MORNING.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
IT DID.

I'VE GOT TO SET
MY SUNDIAL AN HOUR AHEAD.

ME, TOO,
AND IT'S SO ANNOYING!

I KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU GOTTA
DO THE VCR AND THE OVEN--

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

OK, THANKS
FOR THE REMINDER, MALINA

I'LL GET
TO RESETTING MY CLOCKS

RIGHT AFTER
I TURN OVER THE KINGDOM.

NO, KUZCO,
DON'T YOU GET IT?

IT'S NOT ONE MINUTE
TO 5:00.

IT'S ONE MINUTE
TO 6:00!

IT--WHAT?

OH, NO!
I MISSED THE DEADLINE!

I'M ALREADY
A HAIRLESS SLOTH!

AN UGLY, HAIRLESS
SLOTH-FACE.

[SOBBING]

NOW I HAVE TO DO
SLOTH THINGS!

AND I DON'T KNOW
WHAT SLOTHS DO!

EXCEPT
THEY'RE REALLY FAST.

UM, I'M TRYING
TO TELL YOU,

THE DEADLINE PASSED
59 MINUTES AGO,

AND YOU'RE
NOT A HAIRLESS SLOTH.

THOSE FORTUNE COOKIES
ARE PHONY.

THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

I'M NOT--I'M NOT
A HAIRLESS SLOTH!

YAY!

♪ I'M STILL ME ♪

♪ I'M STILL
MY SAME OLD
BEAUTIFUL SELF ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH HUH! ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH,
UH-HUH! ♪

EXACTLY THE SAME
AS ALWAYS! WHOO-HOO!

ONLY NOW I'LL NEVER BE
SO GULLIBLE AGAIN.

AND I KNOW YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.

[TICKING]

STUPID MOUNTAIN
HARVEST TIME!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

Malina:
THIS IS A SHUAKA.

SHUAKA'S
ARE TROLL-LIKE PEOPLE

WHO DWELL IN A VAST
UNDERGROUND CITY.

ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
IF YOU SPOT A SHUAKA,

HE MUST RELINQUISH
HIS GOLD.

[SIGH] HOW LONGIS
THIS SHUKUKA REPORT?

IT'SSHUAKA,

AND I JUST STARTED.

WELL, CAN YOU
MOVE IT ALONG?

I'VE GOT
A CART CYCLE TO BUY.

HEY! I WAS READING THAT!

YES, YOU WERE.

I'M NOT SURE WHY,
THOUGH.

YOU CAN'T AFFORD
TO BUY A CART CYCLE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'M RICH.

UNTIL YOU GRADUATE,
YOU CANNOT ACCESS
ROYAL FUNDS,

WHICH MEANS YOU ARE
CURRENTLY WORTH
LESS THAN I AM.

HA!

HMM. OK,
THEN I JUST NEED A LOAN.

HOW 'BOUT IT MR. M.?

ME, LOAN MONEY TO YOU?

[LAUGHING]

FINE, THEN I'LL
JUST GET IT FROM MALINA.

ME? MONEY?
[LAUGHING]

OK. KRONK?

UH...RIGHT.

[LAUGHING]

[CHICHA LAUGHING]

THEN I'LL ASK CHACA.

KUZCO, CHACA DOESN'T
HAVE ANY MONEY.

BUT YOU CAN EARN MONEY
BY DOING SOME CHORES.

CHORES.

OH, RIGHT.

CHORES.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT CHORES ARE,
DO YOU?

HUH? YEAH, SURE, I DO.

THEY'RE THOSE THINGS
YOU SIT IN.

SO YOU WANT TO
GIVE ME MONEY FOR SITTING?

I CAN DO THAT.

NOT CHAIRS, CHORES.

THINGS LIKE
DOING THE DISHES.

YOU EARN MONEY
IN EXCHANGE FOR WORK.

WORK?

IT'S LIKE
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

I'M KUZCO, REMEMBER?

NO CHORES, NO MONEY,
NO CART CYCLE.

OK, OK... CHORES.

HOW HARD CAN THEY BE?

YOU WANT ME
TO TOUCH THAT...

WITH MY HANDS
ON PURPOSE?

HUH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

THOSE LEAVES
DON'T RAKE THEMSELVES.

Chicha: YOU BROKE
EVERY DISH WE HAVE,

EVEN THE ONES
THAT WEREN'T DIRTY.

DO I GET EXTRA MONEY
FOR THAT?

'CAUSE I THINK I SHOULD.

ACTUALLY, BETWEEN
THE DISHES YOU BROKE

AND THE LLAMAS
YOU LOST...

I TOLD YOU,
I DIDN'T LEAVE
THEIR GATE OPEN.

THEY PICKED THE LOCK.

I'D SAY
YOU OWEME MONEY.

OK, TIME TO STOP
AND PUT ON THE KUZCO
THINKING CROWN.

THERE'S GOTTA BE
AN EASIER WAY
TO MAKE MONEY.

SO, LET'S BACK UP.

HOW DO YOU CLOSE
THIS GATE THING?

EH, FORGET IT.
IT'S TOO MUCH WORK.

YOU STAY IN THERE,
OK, STINKY LLAMAS?

BUH-BYE.

Kuzco: HEH HEH,
NOTHIN' TO SEE THERE.

Malina: ACCORDING
TO LEGEND,

IF YOU SPOT
A SHUAKA,

HE MUST RELINQUISH
HIS GOLD.

Kuzco: JACKPOT!

SO YOU KNOW A GUY
WHO SAW A SHUKUKA?

WELL, ACTUALLY,
I KNOW A GUY
WHO KNOWS A GUY

WHO WORKED WITH A GUY
WHO WAS NEIGHBORS
WITH A GUY

WHO HEARD
ABOUT THIS GUY

WHO SAW A SHUAKA
IN GUYANA...

AT NIGHT.

IT WAS DARK.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN
AN OWL.

[OWL HOOTS]

GOOD ENOUGH.
LET'S GO.

WAIT. SHOULDN'T
WE ASK MALINA TO GO?

I MEAN, SHE KNOWS
MORE ABOUT SHUAKAS
THAN ANYBODY.

KRONK, WE'RE GOING
TO HUNT FOR SHUAKAS.

IT'S GONNA BE
ROUGH OUT THERE.

WE CAN'T BRING MALINA.

UM...WHY?

BECAUSE SHE'S
TOUGHER THAN YOU,

AND SHE'LL
MAKE YOU LOOK BAD?

NO!

IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES SHE GETS
KIND OF WEIRD

ABOUT SUCCESS,
COMPETITION, AND STUFF.

OH, YOU MEAN,
SHE GETS BOSSY AND
OBSESSED WITH WINNING?

YES, BUT KEEP IT DOWN.

IF SHE HEARS,
WE'LL BOTH GET
THE "MALINA STARE" FOR SURE.

OH, YEAH. HATE THAT.

THE STARE.

Kuzco:
OK, WE HAVE A TRAP,

A BACKUP TRAP,

AND A BACKUP TRAP
FOR THE BACKUP TRAP.

AND WE'RE USING
YOUR BEST DESSERTS
AS BAIT.

HOW DO WE KNOW
SHUAKA'S LIKE CAKE
AND PIES AND COOKIES?

UH, WHO DOESN'T
LIKE CAKE AND PIES
AND COOKIES?

RIGHT!

OH, SOMETHIN'S COMIN'.

WAS THAT A SHUAKA?

NO, THAT WAS BUCKY.

[BURP]

HEH HEH. 'SCUSE ME.

WE NEED HELP.

THAT GOES
WITHOUT SAYING.

WE'RE TRYING
TO FIND A SHUKUKA.

SO YOU'RE DRESSED
AS GIANT FOOD?

WELL, BUCKY ATE
ALL OF KRONK'S DESSERTS,

SO...WE THOUGHT, UH...

WHAT WERE WE
THINKIN' AGAIN?

I HAVE NO IDEA,

AND I WANTED TO BE
THE PIZZA.

YOU'D KNOW
ALL ABOUT SHUAKAS

IF YOU'D LISTENED
TO MY REPORT.

LOOK, ARE YOU
GONNA HELP OR NOT?

OK, IT'S GONNA BE
A LOT OF WORK,

SO I GET HALF THE GOLD
WHEN WE FIND A SHUAKA,

AND YOU GUYS GOTTA DO
EVERYTHING I SAY.

YEAH, RIGHT.

THE STARE!

FINE, YOU WIN.

GOOD!
I LOVE WINNING!

AND I KNOW JUST
WHERE TO LOOK FOR SHUAKAS.

Malina: THE SUN GATE
IS THE SECRET ENTRANCE

TO THE SHUAKAS'
UNDERGROUND CITY.

WE HAVE TO WAIT
FOR ONE TO COME OUT.

UH...HOW MUCH LONGER?

AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T
NEED ME TO DRESS UP

AS A GIANT SLICE OF PIZZA

WITH PEPPERONIS
AND BELL PEPPERS
AND PINEAPPLE?

LOOK!

OK,
I'LL GO IN FIRST.

Kuzco: GET HIM!

Kronk: HE'S MINE!
WHO-HOO-HOO!

HE'S MINE!

OW!

HI. I'M MALINA.

I'M GUESSING
YOU'RE A SHUAKA,

AND I READ THAT
IF WE SEE YOU,

YOU HAVE
TO GIVE US GOLD.

SO, HAND IT OVER.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU,
MY DEAR.

MY NAME IS GEEZO.

SO, YOU KNOW
THE LEGEND, DO YOU?

DEE-LIGHTFUL!

I'D BE TICKLED
TO HONOR THE TRADITION

OF SHARING MY GOLD
WITH SURFACE-DWELLERS.

WHAT FUN!

SWEET. ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TAKE THAT

IN COINS, BARS,
AND GOLD ME STATUES.

OH, I'M AFRAID
I CAN'T GIVE YOU GOLD.

OUR GOLD IS GUARDED
BY AN ANCIENT SPIRIT

WHO ONLY GIVES GOLD
TO THE PURE OF HEART.

SORRY.

I GOT 20-20 VISION
AND ONLY A COUPLE
OF CAVITIES.

CLOSE ENOUGH?

NO. I'M AFRAID
YOUR PURITY MUST BE TESTED.

BUT DON'T WORRY.

I'M SURE
YOU'LL DO SPLENDIDLY.

BEHOLD!
THE CHASM OF PURITY.

YOU MUST DESCEND
TO ITS DEEPEST DEPTHS

AND RETRIEVE WATER
FROM THE SPRING
OF PURITY.

YOU KNOW, TAP WATER
ISN'T THAT DIFFERENT
FROM SPRING WATER,

PLUS, IT'S FLUORIDATED.

KUZCO, IF YOU WANT
A CART CYCLE,

WE NEED TO GET
THAT SPRING WATER.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WELL, GOOD LUCK,
YOU TWO.

WHAT? YOU WANT
ME TO GO, TOO?

♪ DA DO DO ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA
DA DA DUH DUH ♪

♪ DA DA DUH DUH! ♪

♪ DO DO DO, DO DO
DA-DA DA DAH! ♪

♪ HA! HYAH! HYAH!
HO! DO DO DO BA-DA
BUM BUM... ♪

Malina: KRONK!

WHAT?

CUT THE THEME MUSIC
AND FOCUS!

THAT GOES DOUBLE
FOR YOU, KUZCO.

KUZCO?

KUZCO?

Kuzco: AAH!

[SPLASH]

IT'S COLD!

THE WATER'S COLD!

NOW THAT YOU HAVE
RETRIEVED THE WATER
OF PURITY,

YOU MUST BUILD...

A GAZEBO OF PURITY!

UH...
WHY IS THAT AGAIN?

TO PROVE
YOU ARE PURE, OF COURSE.

CAN'T ARGUE
WITH THAT.

COME ON. THERE'S
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

YEAH. I THINK I FEEL

A "GET UP AND GO HOME"
COMING ON.

NOT SURE I EVEN WANT
A CART CYCLE ANYMORE.

WELL,
YOU'RE GETTING ONE.

I DON'T QUIT, AND
NEITHER DOES MY TEAM.

NOW STOP JAWING
AND START SAWING.

AND I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GONNA BE BOSSY.

BOY, WAS I WRONG.

Kuzco: IT'S TIME
FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART
OF THE SHOW

WHERE WE BUILD
A GAZEBO.

"WHAT'S A GAZEBO?"
YOU ASK.

SILLY VIEWER.

THIS IS A GAZEBO.

WAIT. THAT'S A GAZELLE.

RIGHT? CAN'T BUILD
AN ANIMAL OUT OF WOOD.

OK, GET THIS.

A GAZEBO'S JUST A PLACE
WHERE OLD PEOPLE

SIT AND DRINK LEMONADE.

HOW BORING IS THAT?

I'D RATHER HAVE BUILT
A WOOD ANIMAL.

BUT NOT MALINA. NO!

SHE'S ALL,
"STOP BUILDING LLAMAS.

START WITH THE NEXT TEST."

GUESS SHE HATES ANIMALS.

NOW FOR THE FINAL TEST.
YOU MUST...

TAKE THE SACKS
IF PURITY,

CONTAINING
THE RELICS OF PURITY

TO THE RELIC HEAP
OF PURITY.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

WHAT ELSE
WOULD IT BE?

YES, WELL, UM...

WHEN YOU ARRIVE,
THE ANCIENT SPIRIT
WILL DECIDE

IF YOU ARE PURE ENOUGH
TO RECEIVE GOLD.

[SNIFF SNIFF]

IS IT ME, OR DOES
SOMETHING SMELL
LIKE DEAD FISH?

NO TIME
FOR SMELLING.
LET'S GO.

[YAWN] HOW ABOUT
A QUICK NAP
OF PURITY FIRST, HUH?

WHO'S WITH ME?

THE STARE!

THAT STARE
DOESN'T SCARE ME.

AS MUCH AS IT USED TO.

HEY! SHE'S
NOT THE BOSS OF US!

Malina: I HEARD THAT.

THIS IS IT?

WHERE'S THE SPIRIT GUY
PERSON THINGY?

[GHOSTLY MOANING]

AHH AHH AHH!

[COUGHING]

[GASP] ANCIENT SPIRIT
OF PURITY!

YES, IT IS--AHEM.

[DEEPER VOICE]
YES, IT IS I,

THE ANCIENT SPIRIT
OF PURITY.

BRING ON
THE GOLD!

YOU KNOW,
YOU KIND OF LOOK

LIKE GEEZO
WEARING A SHEET,
ANCIENT SPIRIT?

MALINA, I THINK
I KNOW A SPIRIT
WHEN I--

GEEZO'S
THE GREAT SPIRIT?

WHY'S HE WEARIN'
A SHEET?

GARBAGE?

THAT'S WHAT SMELLS.

WE'RE NOT HAULIN'
RELICS.

WE'RE TAKIN' OUT
THE TRASH.

IT'S A SCAM!

GEEZO TRICKED US
INTO DOIN' CHORES.

SO WHERE'S OUR GOLD?

IT'S NOT YOUR GOLD!

IT'S MINE!
YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!

CHUAKAS HAVE BEEN
TRICKING YOU ROTTEN
SURFACE-DWELLERS

INTO DOING OUR WORK
FOR CENTURIES.

HA HA HA!

SERVES YOU RIGHT
FOR TRYIN'
TO STEAL OUR GOLD.

YEAH, BUT WE SHOULD
GET SOMETHING.

I MEAN,
WE WORKED ALL DAY.

YOU GOT SOMETHING.

YOU GOT A LESSON
YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING,
YOU GOTTA EARN IT.

Kuzco: NO, YOU'RE
NOT DREAMING.

I'M REALLY
DOING THE DISHES.

I FIGURED,
IF I'M GONNA WORK,

MIGHT AS WELL
BE FOR CHICHA.

AT LEAST SHE PAYS.

NOT LIKE THAT CHEAPSHUKUKA!

THE GOOD NEWS IS,
I DID THE MATH,

AND IF I KEEP DOING
CHORES AROUND HERE,

I'LL BE ABLE TO BUY
A CART CYCLE IN ONLY...

3 YEARS.

[PLATES BREAKING]

OR MAYBE A LITTLE LONGER.

HEY, LOOKIE!
ANOTHER COOKIE!

"AT THE END
OF TODAY'S EPISODE,

YOU WILL BE SEEN
READING THIS FORTUNE."

[THINKING]
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M READING
THIS FORTUNE NOW, BUT...

OH, IT MUST BE
THE END OF THE EPISODE.

THIS GUY'S A GENIUS!

OH, WAIT. THERE'S MORE.

AND THEN YOU WILL
GIVE A GREAT, BIG KISS TO...

YZMA?!