The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 20 - The Free Soul - full transcript

And then their glances met

and they gazed soulfully
into each other's eyes,

and without a word, Tony
Curtis walked across the room,

swept her into his
arms and kissed her.

Please, Mary, not
while I'm eating.

Is this the first time he
saw her in the movie?

Mm-hmm. They haven't
been introduced yet.

One moment
they're total strangers

and then the next
he his kissing her.

Oh, it was so romantic.

And you won't even let me see
Dracula Marries a Batwoman.



Oh, you... you're...
you're so earthbound.

Oh, what's he done now?

It wasn't me. It
was Tony Curtis.

Oh, what did he do?

He kissed Cynthia.

- He did?
- Hmm-hmm.

The cad.

Oh, Daddy, it
was just beautiful.

You see, Tony Curtis
walked into this room

and across the
room he saw Cynthia

and their eyes met
in a soulful gaze,

and without even knowing her,

he walked across the
room and kissed her.

Please, Mary, not
while I'm eating.



Oh, you, men. You're all alike.

Isn't it beautiful, Mother?

Isn't it just the
most delicious...

Oh, boy, that's the way I
want to meet the man in my life.

Mush.

Oh, what do you know?
You're just an infant.

Mary, those things
don't happen in real life.

People don't go around
kissing total strangers.

It's only in the movies.

In real life...

Oh, I'll get it, dear.

Hello. May I help you?

Mrs. Stone?

Yes.

Mrs. Alex Stone?

Yes.

Alex. Alex!

Donna, what...

No, no. It can't be.

- It is. How are you, boy?
- Dan! Dan! You old...

Hey, where have you been?

- Why... good heavens...
- Where have you been?

- Well, let me look at you.
- It's good to see you.

Donna, you remember
the friend of my father's

I always used to talk
about? His closest friend,

practically a member of
the family, Dan Harris?

Dan Harris.

- Oh, it's good to see you, Dan.
- Well, you look great.

Boy. Look at that hat.

Darling, this is Dan Harris.

Dan, this is my wife, Donna.

Oh, we've already
met. Hello again.

I never shake hands
with a pretty woman.

Oh, this is my daughter, Mary.

How do you do?

And my son, Jeff.

Hi.

In the bush country,
when two men meet,

one drops an article of
clothing in front of the other

as an offer of
muamba, friendship.

- The bush country?
- That's right, boy.

Well, sir, if the other one
picks it up and puts it on,

that means he
accepts the friendship.

Muamba.

Muamba.

Dan, it's been 18 years
since I last saw you.

Where have you been?
What have you been doing?

- Well, it's a long— - Now, wait
a minute, have you had lunch?

You know, I was hoping that
somebody would ask me that.

Eighteen years on an
empty stomach is a long time.

Come on, have some food.

We're eating out
here on this patio.

And this fellow
kept talking about oil.

Well, sir, it sounded like
maybe it could be fun.

So, I went off for Saudi Arabia.

Just like that?

You went all the way to Arabia
because it sounded like fun?

Yeah. Why not?

Yeah. Why not?

Well... yeah, why not?

Dan, you haven't changed a bit.

Oh, it's a big wide wonderful
world out there, boy.

What happened in
Saudi Arabia, Uncle Dan?

Well, sir, we hit
the oil fields all right.

Old Gus Nelson and me
and we found a good spot,

and we got three
gushes in five months.

Almost got rich that time.

Oh, why didn't you?

Well, Old Gus and me
sort of got to bickering,

couldn't see eye to eye,
one of us had to walk.

I lost the toss.

You tossed for an oil field.

You had three gushes
going and you took a coin

and head, you
walked away from it?

No.

Oh.

Tails.

Oh, Dan, how could you?

Well, it was better than
losing a friend, wasn't it?

But...

Don't fight it, Dear.

You're up against the
last of the free souls.

Sure.

What's one oil
field more or less?

Then what, Uncle Dan?

Well, sir, this thing about
sheep ranching in Australia.

It sounded like it might
be a few laughs in it.

And who wouldn't go
halfway around the world

for a few laughs?

Gee. Do you have a
sheep ranch in Australia?

No, I couldn't get along
with the sheep either.

Then, I went up to Alaska.

I did some fur
business up there,

and I started to think
about your father,

and wondering about
you and what you're doing,

whether you had a family.

So, I just decided that
I'd drop in and see you.

As long as you were
in the neighborhood.

Oh, you may put it that way.

I wanted to see
you, meet your wife,

count how many kids you have.

You came all the way from Alaska

just to count how
many kids Alex has?

Good a reason as any.

But you could have...

I mean, why didn't you write...

Why am I still surprised?

Now, you're catching on, Dear.

Thank you for a delicious lunch.

Well, you're not going, Dan.

Why, you've hardly had
time to count the children.

I know it seems
like they're only two

but if you wait around long
enough you'll swear there are nine.

You're going to stick
around for a while,

aren't you, Uncle Dan?

Oh, you'll be
seeing plenty of me,

I just want to get down the
train and pick up my bags

and check in to a hotel.

- I'll drive you down.
- Oh, don't bother.

I've got a taxi waiting outside.

You kept a... a taxi
waiting for two hours?

That's nothing.

Once in Montecarlo I kept
one waiting for five days.

But why?

Well, it took me that long to
win enough money to pay for it.

You know, those
bags are pretty heavy.

I could use some help.

Gee. Could I help you,
Uncle Dan, please?

I don't know. It takes
someone with a lot of muscle.

Ah, you'll do. Come on, boy.

It's shorter this
way, Uncle Dan.

- Bye.
- Good bye.

- See you later.
- See you later.

You know, I wouldn't be
surprised if the next word

we heard from Jeff
was from Tanganyika.

Yes, where Dan is
tossing a coin for Jeff.

Alex, was he always like this?

I mean, you know,
giving away oil fields

and running from one
end of the earth to the other

just because he felt like it?

Always, as far back
as I can remember.

I told you he is the
last of the free souls.

Well, I like him. I
think he is fascinating.

Oh, so do I. I think
he is wonderful, but...

But what?

What about responsibility?

Can you ever depend
upon a free soul,

or just when you
need him the most,

does he off in a rocket
ship off to the moon

to see if it's really
made of green cheese?

Probably.

After selling the
house for rocket fare.

Oh, that's what I mean
that they're charming,

and fascinating, and lovable.

Thank heavens,
none of us is like that.

Just because you
felt like it, huh?

Yup.

Boy.

And not because
someone made you?

Nope.

Boy.

What will it be, fellows?

Hotdog and orange for
me. What about you, boy?

I'll have a hotdog.

Two hotdogs and an orange.

Or because you had to?

- Nope.
- Boy.

Hey, mister, make
that a hamburger.

Kill the dog and
make it a hamburger.

Just because you
felt like it, huh?

Uh-hmm.

- So you did it?
- Hmm.

Hey, mister, change
that to a pizza.

Just like that,
you felt like it,

so wham, you did it, huh?

- Uh-hmm.
- Boy.

Now, let me understand.

Hey, you wanted a hotdog,

and you changed
it to a hamburger,

and now you want a pizza. Right?

No.

I want a hotdog and a
hamburger wrapped in a pizza

with some ripe
olives on the side.

Well, sir, there he was

running this rubber
plantation in Malaya.

Jeff, you're going
to be late for school.

Well, I'm going.

Well, sir, what do you
think happened next?

He got bored and traded
it for an old schooner,

went pearl diving
in the South Pacific.

How did you know?

Well, sir, you told
me about it yesterday.

- Oh.
- Twice.

And the day before three times.

Well, sir, did I ever tell
you about the time-...

Well, sir, probably.
Now, please, go to school.

Well, I'm going.

Boy. What an interesting life,

always something happening,
always something exciting.

Never two days are the same.

What's for lunch today,
Mom? Same old junk?

No. Today, I packed you
an elephant steak sandwich,

two hardboiled flamingo eggs,

and for desert, a
genuine caramel-covered

Caribbean papaya.

Now, go to school.

I forgot my hat.

Bye, mom.

And the last three days, all
he's done is talk about you.

I forgot what he looks
like without that hat.

First thing he puts
on in the morning

and the last thing
he takes off at night.

That fine boy, you can
be proud of him, Donna.

Oh, we are from time to time.

Well, I'm so glad you came
by to have coffee with me, Dan.

So am I.

What a day!

Feel that air.

Go ahead feel it.

You know, I was going to try
to get a chess game in the park,

but why don't the two of us go
down to the zoo and say hello.

Oh, Dan, I'd love to but,
well, business before pleasure.

Why?

Well... well, because...

Oh, Dan.

This is no day for the kitchen.

Who knows what wonders
are going on outside?

What have you got inside?

Dishes.

You're determined.

I'm afraid so.

Why don't you run along
and get your chess game

and I'll see you later.

What a shame.

What a shame.

- Donna?
- Yes, Dear.

Where have you been?

You didn't tell me
you were going out.

Well, I...

Why?

Oh, because
Jeff's school called.

Jeff's school? Is he in trouble?

I don't know.

- But why?
- Because he is not there.

Alex, that's impossible.

Donna, with your son,
nothing is impossible.

Well, then, where is he?

That's what I'd like to know,
and incidentally so would they.

He was there this morning but
he didn't come back after lunch.

They called to see
if we were here,

but I had an office
full of patients.

I went to look for you but...

Incidentally, where were you?

Well, I...

Where do you suppose he can be?

I don't have the slightest idea.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

- Jeff, where have you been?
- Donna, please.

Jeff, where have you been?

Just out.

Did you leave school
right after lunch today?

Yep.

I hope you have a good reason.

- Oh, I do, Dad.
- What is it?

Well, sir, I just didn't
feel like staying there.

Well, I guess, Dan isn't
the last of the free souls.

Maybe not

but in a few minutes, he
is going to regain his title.

Alex, wait.

Don't you think it would
be better if we waited

until we calm
down just a little?

- No.
- Alex.

Shouldn't we try to understand?

- No.
- Alex.

Look, Donna, this one
time it's not going to help him

having you as the
attorney for the defense.

Now, what is it to understand?

Why he did it?

Oh, because he is headstrong,
thoughtless and irresponsible.

No, dear.

It was such a lovely
irresistible impulse.

Oh, I know it's wrong
and you can't live that way,

but it's so nice once

to do just what
you feel like doing

when you feel like doing it.

What are you trying to tell me?

That I'm not an
attorney for the defense.

I'm an accomplice.

What?

Well, when I came in just now,
you asked me where I've been.

Yeah.

Well, I got Jeff off to
school this morning

and I started to do the
breakfast dishes and...

well, Dan happened to come
by and we chatted, and... um...

Honey, feel that air.

What?

I did, and it just
felt wonderful.

It made me think of ships
sailing and palm trees

and then I looked at all
those unwashed dishes and...

Well, sir, I left them.

I went for a walk in the park,

and then I fed the
elephants at the zoo.

Why?

Because I felt like it.

Well, at least we know
Jeff comes by it honestly.

Was it fun?

All right. No outraged
fathers scene.

- But, we can't
just let it go fly, can we?
- No. No, dear.

We have to speak
to him about it.

But, I just wanted it done
gently and with understanding.

Yeah.

I guess, under
the circumstances,

we can't blame
him too much for-...

Oh. Hi, Alex. Hi, Donna.

- Hi, Dan.
- Hi, Dan.

Is Jeff home?

I found this voodoo
whistle in my stuff

and I thought I'd bring
it over to him and...

Well, something wrong?

Oh, no. No, no.

It's just that Jeff has been
doing some rather unusual things.

Like leaving school
right after lunch.

Oh, Alex.

Why?

Well, he...

Well, sir, he just felt like it.

Oh, I see.

Oh, don't worry about it, Dan.

I guess he had to
give it a try once.

- Mrs. Stone?
- Yes.

I'm Mrs. Sutton.

Your boy, Jeff, is
a friend of my son's.

Oh, you're Freddie
Sutton's mother.

- Come on in.
- Thank you.

- This is my husband, Dr. Stone.
- How do you do, Mrs. Sutton?

- And our friend, Mr. Harris.
- How do you do?

Could I speak to you
and Dr. Stone, please?

Certainly.

Excuse us, Dan.

Please sit down.

Now, I don't want you to
think that I'm narrow-minded.

I believe that people have
a right to bring up children

their own way, and it's
nobody else's business.

Oh, we certainly agree
with you there, Mrs. Sutton.

You're quite right.

So, please don't
think I'm being critical.

As I say it's entirely
your own business.

What's our business?

I teach my Freddie what's
right and wrong as I see it,

and of course you're quite
free to teach Jeff what you think

is right and wrong.

Well, I doubt if we disagree

on what's right and
wrong, Mrs. Sutton.

Has Jeff done something wrong?

Well, of course, that
would depend entirely on

one's point of view.

Naturally, I cannot permit
Freddie to keep the bicycle.

Well, we seemed to have left
the abstract realm of morality

and arrived at something
concrete like a bicycle.

Mrs. Sutton, we haven't
the vaguest notion

of what you're talking about.

What bicycle?

Your Jeff tossed a
coin for his bicycle

against my Freddie's BB gun.

And Jeff lost the
toss and the bicycle.

Looks like the free
soul had struck again.

Excuse me, uh...

Certainly, Dan.

You can have Jeff come
over and get the bicycle.

It's in the garage.

As I say, it's entirely
your own business

how you raise your children,

but I can assure you
that Freddie will hear

plenty about this
from his father.

Well, Jeff will hear about
it from his father too.

Thank you so much for coming by

to tell us about
it, Mrs. Sutton.

Well, that's quite all right.

The way people bring
up their children is their-...

Is their own business.

Thank you very
much, Mrs. Sutton.

Not at all. Good
bye, Mrs. Stone.

- Good bye.
- Good bye, Mrs. Sutton.

Well, what does the attorney
for the defense have to say now?

I suppose I could
plead temporary insanity.

We better do something about
it before it becomes permanent.

Or, did you toss somebody
for something, too,

like the car maybe or the house?

- Alex, this is no joke.
- I'm not joking.

This has gone deeper
than we thought.

Walking out of school,

tossing a coin for
his new bicycle.

How much freer
can a free soul get?

Mom, Dad, come quick.

Jeff, what is it?
What's happened?

It's Uncle Dan. He's
leaving for Africa.

Oh. Well, Dan.

We're going to miss you.

And he asked me to go with him!

What?

Well, sir, the way I figure it,
when a man walks out of school,

he is cut out for
my kind of life,

and when he tosses
a coin for his new bike,

- oh, he is ready
for the big bull.
- Yeah.

Alex.

Well, Jeff, if that's
what you want to do.

- But Alex.
- Darling, the way I figure it is

what's the use of talking
about Saudi Arabia.

It's much more fun to go there.

Yeah, Pop.

- Where's your bag?
- Under the bed.

- All right, boy, start packing.
- Yippee.

- We'll leave in 20 minutes.
- Yay, boy.

Twenty minutes?

Yeah. Why is that too long?

Too long?

No, of course not.

Where are your socks?
You'll need socks.

In the drawers.

Um, it's just that Mary won't
be home for another hour yet.

What's that got to do with it?

Nothing.

Oh, sure, I can write her
a note to say goodbye.

Oh, as long as you won't
be going to see her again.

We'll be back in
a couple of years.

A couple of years?

You mean, I won't see Mom
and Dad for a couple of years?

Well, you can
write letters to them.

We'll mail letters to
them every few months

when we like some place.

You see, boy,
in our kind of life,

we can't have too
many attachments

because attachments
tie you down.

You get to like someone,
first thing, you know,

you feel responsibility
towards them.

You can't be responsible
and free soul at the same time.

It's one of the rules, boy.

We don't care about anyone
and nobody cares about us.

Right?

Yeah.

- Yeah, I guess so.
- Right.

I'll get the rest of your stuff.

Mom?

I'll see if you have any
clothes in the laundry.

Dad?

I'll get your toothbrush.

Jeff, it's going to be
lonely without you.

Certainly, it will be.

- Oh, but Dad...
- Good bye, Jeff.

- Mom?
- Good bye, Jeff.

Is that all?

Oh, we don't want
to tie you down, son.

As Dan says if you're
going to be a free soul,

you have to be free.

Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Well, let's not drag
out any goodbyes.

Just holding the man back,
keep you from getting going.

Don't worry, Jeff.

We'll say goodbye
to Zach for you,

and we'll explain about
you not being able to help

with the tomatoes.

Thanks, Mom.

What's that about tomatoes?

Oh, it's Zach's
project in science.

I promised him I'd help
plant some tomatoes,

but now, I guess not.

You promised, Zach?

Yeah.

Why?

Boy, don't you know
that a man's promise

is more sacred than
anything in the world?

It is?

It's even more important than
doing what you feel like doing?

I should say it is.

Well, uh, then if
I promise Zach-...

Boy, that's your
first obligation.

You must keep your word to Zach.

Well, that means I
can't go with you?

I'm afraid not, boy.

Gee. I'm awfully
sorry, Uncle Dan.

I was really looking
forward to that trip to Africa.

I'll go unpack, Mom.

Gee. Thanks, Uncle Dan.

- Muamba.
- Muamba.

Jeff.

Good bye, Uncle Dan.

I sure hope you have a
wonderful time in Africa.

Oh, thanks, boy.

Alex.

Thanks, Dan. Thanks very much.

Donna.

I never shake hands
with a wonderful man.

Well, sirs.

Good bye, Dan.

- Good bye, Uncle Dan.
- Good bye, Uncle Dan.

Good bye, Dan. Good luck.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bye.

Well Jeff, are you sorry
you're not going with him?

No.

Boy, I was sure while it lasted.

Yeah, boy, wasn't it?

Yeah, boy.

Oh, I have a little
confession to make.

Remember yesterday, that
medical association meeting I had?

Yes.

Wait until you see Tony
Curtis walk across that room

and kiss that girl.