The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 1, Episode 12 - The Beaded Bag - full transcript

- Hello, Miss Winters.
- Hello, Mrs. Stone.

I've got something
here for you to fix.

The clasp keeps slipping open.

I'll give you a repair
check, Mrs. Stone.

It'll be ready by tomorrow.
There won't be any charge.

Oh, thank you, Miss Winters.

Why don't you
buy it, Mrs. Stone?

You admire it every
time you come in.

It is lovely.

But $65?

It's been slashed from $89.50.



Well, two or three more
slashes, and I'll be ready.

Why don't you let your
husband get it for you?

We're both in the
same financial bracket.

Send him in. I'll be subtle.

He'll never know what hit him.

I always thought gifts

were supposed to be
sentimental offerings.

They are.

If he brings home
the bag, you can cry.

It's all right. Go ahead.

May I help you, sir?

Oh, yes, I'd like
a gift for my wife...

Some little remembrance.

Oh, we have some lovely
things that just came in.



They're very nice
and just $1.95.

Mm-hmm, they are nice.

I believe my wife shops in
here occasionally... Mrs. Morgan.

Oh, Mrs. Morgan, yes, yes.

I think she may like
this one, don't you?

It'll clash with her color.

But can't you just visualize

how this will bring out the
mauve glint in her eyes?

Well...

It's been slashed from $135.

Well, it is very pretty.

If Mrs. Morgan doesn't
like it, could she...

Of course. I'll
have it gift wrapped.

Cash or charge?

Oh, charge it if you will,

and send it to my
office in the morning.

Certainly.

Thank you so much, Mr. Morgan.

Well, thank you
for being so helpful.

That was subtle.

When was his
wife in to pick it out?

This morning.

It was merciful. He
never knew what hit him.

Donna darling.

Oh, hello, Patsy.

- How are you, Miss Winters?
- Nice to see you, Mrs. Cole.

Happy birthday, Donna,
and let's drop the subject.

It depresses me.

Oh, well, cheer up. It's
not for a couple days.

Picking out the gift Alex is
going to surprise you with?

No, dear, I was
just admiring it.

Mrs. Stone's a sentimentalist.

She loves this bag, but
she thinks it's too expensive.

You don't know Mrs. Stone.

She accomplishes more with
a smile than I do with a sword.

If you're going to
send Dr. Stone in,

I can put the bag away.

Well, dear?

No, I don't think so. Thank
you anyway, Miss Winters.

I've got to run
along, Patsy. Bye.

Goodbye, Donna.

Put it away, Miss
Winters. He'll be in.

Hi, Mary. How's
my favorite sister?

Jeff, you can't have any money.

You old miser. Come
on, I'll pay it back.

I got to get Mom
a birthday present.

Jeff, you've been
borrowing money for years,

and you never pay me back.

You already owe me $3.60.

Jeff, stop it.

If I had any money
and you came to me,

I'd say, "Sis, how
much do you want?"

That's the kind of fella I am.

The kind of fella that
lives on others, Jeff.

Oh, yeah? Well, how
about the kid at school

who doesn't have
any money for milk,

and I give it to him every day?

I've heard that
corny story before.

What's his name?

Are you questioning my honor?

Well, you keep your honor,
and I'll keep my money.

Go ahead and keep
stuffing that money box.

Pretty soon, it will be filled,

but will you have
any real happiness?

Oh, rave on, darling brother.
You're not getting a dime.

I hope you enjoy the
look on Mother's face

when I tell her I've
got nothing to give her

because you were sitting
on your money box like a hen.

Why don't you tell her the
truth, that you were too selfish

to sacrifice a movie or
an ice-cream cone for her?

I like my story better.

- Hi, kids.
- Hi, Mom!

Come try these on.

Do you like them?

Mother, this is beautiful!

Thanks, Mom. But
what's the occasion?

Well, does there have
to be an occasion?

Now, aren't you
ashamed of yourself?

Mom, if two people were
living on a desert island

and one person
had all the coconuts,

shouldn't she share
them with the other guy?

Of course, unless the
other guy could get his own

by climbing a tree.

Yeah, go climb a tree, Jeff.

Oh, Mother, Sharon
has a birthday next week.

Do you think she'd
like a housecoat?

A housecoat?

Oh, yes, dear, that
would be very nice.

Oh, Mother, you're
going to love this one.

It's blue and it has a little
Peter Pan collar and it's...

Honey, I'm sure that Sharon
will love anything you give her.

You know, it's the spirit
of giving that counts.

Oh, that's great,
'cause I'm full of spirit.

Especially when you
can't borrow any coconuts.

Jeff, not that you deserve it,

but I want Mother to
have a nice birthday,

so I'm going to
loan you a dollar.

Now, that makes $4.60.

Well, thanks, sis.

I knew that beneath
that rough exterior,

there beats a heart of gold.

But you'll have to promise
that whenever I'm late for school,

you'll make my bed for me

and whenever I ask you
to do something for me,

you'll do it sweetly.

Look, I got pride.

I'll do it, but not sweetly.

All right, but when Daddy
and I give Mother her presents,

you can stand there
holding your pride.

Oh, I give up.

Sweetly.

Well, splitting the loot?

I just sold myself into slavery.

Daddy, what are you giving
Mother for her birthday?

Gosh, honey, I don't know.

You know, every year about
this time, your mother says,

"I really don't want anything."

Oh, Daddy, don't be
naive. She's a woman.

Yes, that's true.

Give her something
exciting and feminine.

How about a bicycle...
An English racer?

That's exciting and feminine.

Last year, he wanted me
to give her a hockey stick.

He's about as
sentimental as a rock.

Jeff, gifts are symbols
that say "I love you."

I love you, I love
you, I love you,

and that takes care of
your next three birthdays.

Jeff Stone, you're such a clod.

I'm sorry I can't stay for
this intellectual discussion.

I'll see you at dinner, kids.

- Hi, darling.
- Hello, dear.

Yeah, Mary was right. You are.

Are you going to
finish that sentence

or just leave me dangling?

Oh, Mary has a theory
that you're a woman.

Oh, well, I've been trying
to tell you that for years.

Why don't you start telling me

what you'd like
for your birthday?

Oh, nothing, really.

Here we go again.

Darling, I'm a husband
who abides by the rules.

Well, then, just get
me some token bauble.

Oh, how about a
string of emeralds?

Didn't you get me
emeralds last year?

Well, you can wear the new ones

while the old ones
are in the laundry.

That's good thinking.

What shall I wear to
the Schaeffers' tonight?

Well, what about
your green dress?

Didn't I wear
that the last time?

Why don't you call
them up and ask them?

Darling, I know you
don't want anything,

but couldn't you give me
a little clue to what it is?

Well, Alex, if I told you
I didn't like presents,

I wouldn't be honest,

but gifts shouldn't be
troublesome obligations.

Whatever you give
me, I'll love and adore.

All right, I'll get you
a bag of popcorn.

Popcorn will be wonderful.

Just have it strung.

I just dropped in to say you've
done wonders with his appetite.

Now if you can just do
something about his manners,

I'll testify you're the
greatest doctor in town.

Bobby!

You better not.
I'll raise my rates.

I ran into Donna downtown.

We had an interesting little
chat... brief but interesting.

Yes, I've always found
her quite stimulating.

Ah, you're doing fine,
Bobby, up 3 pounds.

Now, you just stick to the diet.

Yeah, I know, plenty of milk
and don't forget the vitamins.

- Can I go out and see Jeff?
- Bobby.

Sure, sure, go ahead.

Bobby, say, "Thank
you, Dr. Stone."

For what? You
pay him, don't you?

Just like his
father... Hopeless.

He's normal in every respect.

Nice seeing you, Patsy.

By the way, what are you
getting Donna for her birthday?

Nothing, really.

What?

That's Donna's annual reply
when I ask her what she'd like.

These occasions aren't
very important to her.

Isn't that marvelous?

Here you are, a
trained scientist,

dealing with people and their
motives, and you believe that?

Did it ever occur to you
that Donna's a woman?

As a matter of fact,

that was brought to my
attention just this afternoon.

Now, I'm just
trying to be helpful.

I saw Donna today at Carter's.

There's a beaded bag
she's simply mad about,

but she says it's too expensive.

That's what I always tell
Henry. It works like a charm.

What I wonder is,

how does she let you know
about it without being obvious?

Are you telling me

I'm the object of some
Machiavellian scheme?

Of course not.

But somehow she'll get you
to Carter's. Mark my words.

Oh, Patsy, you're a
sweet, loyal friend,

but Donna's not
the scheming type.

I admire your blind faith,
but Donna is a woman.

Yes, we've pretty
well covered that.

What did you get her last year?

Last year? A bracelet.

- Where?
- At Carter's.

Really? Well, well.

Yeah, we were
walking past Carter's,

we looked in the window,
she admired a bracelet,

I said, "Would
you like to have it?"

and she said...

"No, no, it's too expensive."

And then what?

Next day, I went
in and bought it.

I see.

- Goodbye, Alex.
- Goodbye, Patsy.

Give Donna my love.

Just remember, she is a woman.

Alex, you acted very
strange this evening.

Is something bothering you?

No, not a thing.

Well, every time I looked at
you, you were staring at me.

Don't you like my dress?

Sure, I'm crazy about it.

Well, something's bothering you.

Is it a patient?

Yeah, in a way.

Do you want to tell me about it?

No, I'm afraid not. I'd
be violating a confidence.

Well, I hope everything
turns out all right.

Yeah, me too.

Darling?

About your birthday...

isn't there something
I can get you...

Something you may
have seen and liked?

Well, there's a
chinchilla coat downtown

just crying, "Take me home."

I mean something you
may have your heart set on.

I told you, the chinchilla
coat. I can't stand to see it cry.

Well, if there is, why
don't you tell me?

I mean, wouldn't it be better

than just getting
something you don't want?

Honey, I told you,
anything you get me,

even if it's nothing,
will make me happy.

Don't you know that?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, sure, I do.

Honey, I'm going to
be downtown tomorrow.

If there's anything
you need downtown...

Not a thing.

Yeah, well, I just thought,
if you did need something,

I could save you a trip.

I can't think of
anything. Thanks, honey.

Well, I just happened
to remember.

Are you going to be
around First Street?

Yeah, about a block
from there. What is it?

My bracelet.

I left it to have
the clasp fixed.

Here's the ticket.

- Where'd you leave it?
- Carter's.

May I help you, sir?

Oh, yes, my wife left a
bracelet to be repaired.

Is it ready yet?

Oh, you're Dr. Stone.

Yes.

Well, I see the wives so often

that I'm always curious about
what the husbands look like.

Oh, that's a natural curiosity.

I think you'll
find this will hold.

There won't be any charge.

- Oh, well, thank you.
- Thank you, Dr. Stone.

Oh, I thought maybe I'd
better look around a little.

Tomorrow is Mrs.
Stone's birthday.

Oh, really?

May I see those, please?

- They look very nice.
- They are.

Of course, anything would
look nice on Mrs. Stone.

Yeah, she has a dress
that this might go well with.

The wrong one?

Frankly, Doctor,
it's a little garish.

Well, of course I want
to get her something

she'll really like.

Any suggestions?

We have some lovely things here.

Did you have something in mind?

Isn't there something special
that she may have admired?

Did she mention anything to you?

No.

Well, I think, instead of
just buying her anything,

I'll send flowers.

Well, if you can't find
exactly what you want,

flowers are always nice.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Just a minute, Dr. Stone.

I just remembered something

that would be such a
perfect gift for Mrs. Stone.

It's simple but
very distinctive,

and I'm sure that she'll
love it the minute she sees it.

What is it?

A beaded bag.

Isn't it elegant?

It's handfitted, and
the lining is pure silk.

And knowing the exquisite
taste of Mrs. Stone,

I just have a feeling that
when she opens this gift,

she'll be simply enchanted.

- Happy birthday, Mother.
- Morning, Mom.

Oh, what a lovely alarm clock.

I've been up for
hours, making beds.

You're both angels, but
let's not wake up Daddy.

Why not? Where's my breakfast?

It's Mother's birthday, Daddy,

but we brought you
a cup of coffee, too.

Oh, thank you.

Here you are.

Happy birthday, Mother.

Oh, thank you, honey.

Oh, my goodness.

What have we got here?

Oh, Mary, it's a housecoat.

It's just what I needed.
How did you know?

Well, I asked Miss
Robinson at Carter's.

She said that you had
looked at it one day.

It's a very cooperative
store, that Carter's.

No charge for the bracelet.

- Happy birthday, Mom.
- Oh, Jeff.

Oh, now, what do we...

Handkerchiefs.

Oh, they're beautiful!

Do you like them?

Oh, I love them,
honey. Thank you.

Oh, it's nothing.

I just signed away
three months of my life.

Nice coffee.

- Happy birthday, darling.
- Oh, thank you, dear.

Mother, what did Daddy
get you for your birthday?

Oh, I don't know.

Anyway, honey, I had a
new coat two weeks ago,

so I could consider
that my birthday present.

No, Dad's always
hiding his presents.

Excuse me a moment.
Check under the beds, Mary.

Now, stop it.

Stop. Will you come back?

Jeff, come here.

Now, I've told you that
presents are very nice,

but for the immediate family,

sometimes just
saying "happy birthday"

will convey what you feel.

And I made a
deal with the devil.

Well, enjoying your breakfast?

- Yes, it's delicious.
- Good, good, good.

I can hardly wait for my
birthday to roll around.

Why don't you two get dressed?

And if Daddy finishes
early at the hospital,

we'll all go out to lunch.

Is that all right, dear?

It's your day, darling.
Anything goes.

The sky is the limit.

Okay, come on, Jeff.

Come on, Jeff.

Yes, master.

Anything wrong, dear?

No, of course not. Why?

You know what?

I bet you think I
didn't get you anything.

Oh, Alex, stop it. I know you.

You've got something
hidden somewhere.

I give up.

Here I thought I was putting
something over on you.

Well, I guess I'm just
one of those simple,

transparent husbands
any wife can see through.

Thank you, dear.

I bet you can even
guess what's in it.

Oh, Alex, what are
you talking about?

How could I possibly guess?

Well, after all, you're a woman,

so, naturally, you have that
feminine intuitive knowledge

of what husband is going to do.

You like it?

Oh, well, it's beautiful.

Now, wait, wait. If you don't,
you can always take it back.

It's a very cooperative store.

No, no, it's lovely.

You have wonderful taste.

Thank you, thank you,

but you're giving the
credit to the wrong person.

Alex, when you
went into Carter's,

what did Miss Winters say?

Oh, have no fear. She
was the soul of discretion.

Of course, she practically
had it wrapped and ready.

Alex, you think I
sent you into Carter's

so she could sell you this?

Well, she was most helpful.

And as we all know, the
simple, transparent husband

needs all the help he can get.

On second thought, I'm
not so sure I like this bag.

Now, darling, you
wanted the bag,

I bought it for you, happy
birthday, and that's that.

Only, next year, tell me
what you want, hmm?

Alex, you think I conspired
with Miss Winters.

Well, let's say it was
written in the stars

that I would go into Carter's
and walk out with a beaded bag.

It was fated.

Alex...

Mother, do you think
you could shorten...

Oh, Mother, this is beautiful!

Daddy, where did
you have it hidden?

Oh, we grown-ups
are very tricky.

Oh, it's gorgeous.

It must have cost at
least a zillion dollars.

Well, whatever it cost,
Daddy shouldn't have done it.

Come on, dear.

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Stone.

Good morning, Miss Winters.

I hope it's been a
very happy birthday.

I'm returning the bag.

Oh, you should
see how cleverly I...

Returning it?

You did a wonderful
job, Miss Winters.

Thank you very much.
Please send me the credit slip.

Mother, I thought we were
going out to lunch today.

Well, there's been a
slight change in plans.

- Here, get some milk, honey.
- Okay.

- Hi, Donna.
- Oh, hi, Patsy.

Many happy returns in
every sense of the word.

Thank you, dear.

I was at my sister-in-law's
looking at her new drapes.

Simply atrocious.

So I thought I'd drop in
and check on your loot.

I did very well.

Mary and Jeff served
me breakfast in bed.

And Alex gave you
that beaded bag.

- How did you know?
- Just instinct.

When you see Alex,

will you tell him that Bobby
had a revoltingly huge breakfast?

I was in yesterday to
see about his appetite.

Did the subject of birthday
presents come up by any chance?

Just casually.

Casually?

Oh, Donna, I know
you'd do the same for me,

so I mentioned there
was a bag at Carter's

you were simply mad about.

So, you're the
one I have to thank.

Oh, Donna, I'm
so grateful to you.

Your method is so effective
that I'm using it on Henry.

This morning, he asked me
what I wanted for our anniversary.

And with the innocence of a
Mona Lisa, I said, "Nothing, really."

I returned the bag this morning.

You what?

Donna, that's
absolutely brilliant.

Now Alex will be convinced
you really meant it,

and he'll race off and buy you

something
outrageously expensive.

Well, I must be running along.

I'm going to spend the
day browsing in a fur store.

Happy happy!

Bye, Patsy.

Mother, why did you
return Daddy's present?

Well, honey, I...

Mary, were you eavesdropping?

I wasn't eavesdropping,
Mother. I just overheard you.

A fine distinction we'll
discuss some other time.

Mary, you see, I didn't
want Daddy to think that I...

You didn't want Daddy to think

that you used a feminine
trick to get him to buy it for you.

Well, where did you
learn about feminine tricks?

Well, I'm grown up, Mother.

Oh, well, I'm glad you told me.

Well, Mother, I don't know what
happened between you and Daddy,

but, well, gifts are symbols
that say "I love you."

You returned Daddy's
love to a department store.

You are growing up, dear.

Oh, Miss Winters,
I want that bag,

and don't bother to wrap it.

Where is it?

I'm sorry. It's sold.

Oh, no, you couldn't.

When?

Alex, what are you doing here?

Well, you wanted this bag,
and you're going to have it.

Oh, Alex, but I don't
want it on those terms.

Well, why did you
come back for it, then?

Well, I had a talk with
a wise, young woman,

and she said that

even though you thought I
played a feminine trick on you,

I shouldn't return your
love to a department store.

How did you know I returned it?

Oh, the same wise person
called me at the hospital.

She said if I just
stop and think,

I'd realize that though
you're a woman,

you're not that kind of a woman.

- May I see those pins, please?
- Oh, of course, Doctor.

But I must tell you, I don't
think they'll blend very nicely

with Mrs. Stone's coloring.

Yes, yes, I know.
I'll take this one.

- Then you're returning the bag?
- Oh, no, no, no.

As a husband, I have
to abide by the rules.

That's why I bought
you the purse.

But as a man who wants
to express his love freely

and without influence,

I'm buying you this.

I wish it could be a
string of emeralds.

I'd be just as happy
with a bag of popcorn.

Charge it, please.