The Dessert (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Sisters, Sitcoms & Dinosaurs - full transcript
Jumpman. Grandpa's Basement. Office Seinfeld. Comedy Party. Sister Bully. High School Basketball Game. Dinosaur Expert.
Don't get me wrong,
we all love the Nike logo,
but you're Michael Jordan.
You need your own logo.
So for your upcoming
shoe release,
we went ahead and made you one.
And I don't want
to sound too cocky,
but we think it's
gonna make this
look like ET's crooked wang.
I like that.
Now imagine you could have
any round object in your hand.
What would it be?
But it has to be
a sports object.
Easy, a basketball.
-I thought so, but what
would you do with it?
Dunk it!
Yes! See, that.
Now imagine you're
going for this dunk.
Are you gonna use two hands like
all those small-handed players
that nobody respects?
Hell no, I'm gonna one-hand
the shit out of it!
I wanna talk about
your legs for a second.
How would you want
them positioned
for this amazing
one-handed dunk?
Close, tight.
I wanna be straight
like a pencil.
Okay, but then
people might think
you don't have much going
on between the legs, Mike.
Just saying. People talk.
Yeah, you're right.
Spread it then, like an eagle.
Yes! And what
are eagles known for?
- Eating their prey.
- Yes, yes, but other than that.
They eat birdseed?
Maybe at a zoo, but let's
move on from what they eat.
Start thinking
about what they do.
They hop?
No, I'm just playin'.
Those things soar.
Weird joke, but you're right.
They soar through the...?
Air. Wait...
What if we called
the new shoes...
Air Jordans?
Oh my God, why didn't
we think of that?
Oh, wait... we did.
Now, keep in mind,
it's just a rough.
It tested
through the roof.
We call it the Jump Man.
We're gonna be rich!
Jordan.
Eww.
-Oh my God, this is so creepy.
-Holy shit, check these out.
See, I told you
Grandpa was a hoarder.
I just feel like we
should put him in a home.
-Wait, can you put that
down and help me look?
I swear I've seen
moonshine down here before.
Oh my God, no way.
-Eww! Grandpa's such a perv!
I guess that's where
Uncle Frank gets it from.
- That's my dad.
- You're right, sorry.
-Who do you think
was his favourite?
-Ooh, let's guess!
- Her maybe?
- Maybe her.
That's a great bathing suit.
Same with that one, too.
That's so weird. Why
is there a guy in here?
I don't know.
Hey, there's one
on this page, too.
- Wait, is that Grandpa?
- Oh my God, it is!
- Why is he making that face?
- This is so bizarre.
Hey, girls. What's
taking so long?
Grandma's baking your
favourite... oh...
Oh, no.
Oh my dear lord, no.
I thought I'd
destroyed them all.
I can't show my face anymore.
Where did you find that?
Oh, just on the shelf here.
-Okay, I admit it.
That's me, your grandpa.
You must remember,
back in the day,
it was highly unusual
for a man to appear
in an all-women's sexy
car wash calendar.
Oh, well...
I guess you look pretty good.
I was in excruciating pain.
Really, why?
See the water? Scalding hot.
Why did they make it hot?
The photographer wanted a
real raw expression from me,
sexual and primal.
We tried to shock the world,
but the world wasn't ready.
Sales plummeted after
opening weekend.
I mean... the cover
is pretty misleading.
First rule in life, always
check the fine print.
-"With women and men"?
Second rule, if you're
gonna integrate men
into a women's
car wash calendar,
an 80 to 20 ratio of men to
women is too much, too soon.
I tried to tell them to use
equal parts men and women,
but they called me a Commie.
You girls have no idea
how good you have it.
So anyways, I guess I
always wanted to get caught.
Grandpa, honestly, it's fine.
Well, it's out there now.
And I guess that's...
Girls, look!
It's Eugene Levy!
Uh... what?
Jim's dad from American
Pie, that's him!
Grandpa... are you okay?
That's Eugene Levy standing
right there behind you!
Okay, Grandpa, I think
you're just upset
that we found your calendar.
Forget the stupid
fucking calendar.
I'm your grandfather.
I love you and would never li,
Eugene Levy is
standing right there!
I can see him!
- Okay, fine.
Grandpa... we see
you under the carpet.
This
carpet is home now.
What did he just say?
I think he said
"carpet is home now."
- Oh, man...
No, no, no, I'm the
office Seinfeld,
Phil is Kramer, and
Megan, you're Elaine.
End of story!
- Wait, so I'm George?!
- Mm-hm!
No way. No, no, no!
- No soup for you!
Sorry, what show is this?
Uh... Seinfeld?
The biggest show of the '90s.
I don't know, I'm only 23.
Oh, Jesus, right, I always
forget you're such a baby.
Okay, here's
a real brainteaser.
The four of us as the "C.
I know what you're gonna say,
and yes, I'm a total Del!
Oh, in your
dreams, Brian!
- I'm not wearing a diaper!
- What?
- Brian said I'm a baby.
I'm not one.
And I don't have a binky.
I go to the bathroom the
same as the rest of you...
Pants down, take a
seat, let it all go.
And it all lands in the
bowl every single time.
Okay... I think we're gett.
- Uh, yeah.
- Maybe we can move on.
Did you guys know that
Brian buys beer for kids?
- Ha-ha.
- What?
Hey, could I talk to you
outside for a second, please?
Sure.
- What are you doing?
- You.
Now they think I have jaundice!
Phil is a total Annie.
You know what?
Fine, if I'm Annie,
then you are Miss
Caroline Duffy herself.
Megan, no one thinks that, okay?
All we're trying to say is
we're old, you're young, okay?
I'm sorry if that offends you.
You're just as capable
as everyone else
and just as good, okay?
Fine.
And we're back.
You two okay?
Oh, yeah, Brian was just asking
if I had any friends my age
who wouldn't mind getting
gross with an old fuck.
- Oh my God.
- Ohh...
Now, why would I
say that about myself?
Okay, we've heard about enough
out of you, you old pervert!
- Phil!
- I can't even be here anymore.
- Come on!
- Me neither.
- How could you?
- Jane, you know better!
- Bye!
- She's lying... obviously.
You know, you really shouldn't
have said anything, Brian.
Now everyone at work is gonna
think you're an old fuck.
Yeah, and a pervert. I
get it, Megan, thank you.
Why are you even still here?
I don't have my license.
You have to drive
me home, remember?
- 'Cause I'm a widdle baby!
Wah!
Waaah!
This party is gonna be so funny.
Hilarious.
Why do you two keep saying that?
It's all the people
that we met at that...
- Introduction to improv class.
- Improv class!
Oh no...
This is a comedy party.
-Uh, yeah!
All the funniest people in
the city in the same place.
It's gonna be a riot!
- Look around.
Do you see anyone laughing?
That's hilarious.
I mean, everybody knows
that comedy comes in threes,
but I presuppose it
could come in twos...?
Let's get outta here.
Okay, relax. It's
not that bad.
You don't get it.
Any minute from now,
some guy's gonna show
up that everyone here
is trying to impress
because he sold a show
and they all want
writing jobs from him.
- And then...
So, so then I turn to
McKay and I'm like,
"That's not what I meant
by bottomless mimosas!"
Blitzo's here!
Blitzo's here. Woo! Let's go!
One lap and we're out.
- You're being dramatic.
- No, I'm not!
Now, if anyone asks you to
watch their skit, just say no!
It's actually
called a sketch.
Skits are something
you do at camp.
- Where's Bella?
Just leave her.
She's already gone.
Trust me, he doesn't want notes.
Bella!
Through here, through here!
Over here...
We're watching Kyle
Mooney's cut for time
SNL sketches on YouTube.
They're way funnier than
the ones that get on air.
Jill, let...
So subverted...
I guess you just don't get it.
Whatever. It's
already finished.
Why would you ask me for notes
if you didn't want any changes?
Oh, yes!
Oh! Oh, great pratfall, man!
- Fuck...
- Great pratfall!
Blitzo?
- Big fan.
- Yeah!
Look, man, are you a comedian?
'Cause I'm actually looking
for writers for my new show.
-Big time.
I've been working
on a skit... sketch.
It's called "Dr. Fartstein."
- I'm listening.
- Okay.
It starts with a fart, you know?
- But it gets better.
- Yeah.
He's really farting...
Well...
I hurt someone yesterday.
Again?
Ah...
- Aah, help!
Oh my God!
I've been beaten,
tortured! I need your help!
Who did this to you?
My sister. She's
a fucking maniac.
- Your sister did this?
- I got video.
I got the whole goddamn
thing. You gotta see.
Yeah...
Thank you...
Oh, she's coming!
What the
fuck are you doing?
Sit down!
- Ow, fuck!
My knee! I need those!
Uh, what's with
the sound effects?
She must have gotten to
it. Hacked the mainframe!
Just watch! Look
what she's done!
What are
those? What are those?
Ow, ow!
- Please, this is serious!
Sorry.
Do you want the brick?
No, I don't. Unless
you hand it to me maybe?
Okay, I'll
hand you the brick.
Pick it up!
- Pick it up.
- Okay, okay!
Hey, Mary, um...
you gotta see this.
See what?
I'm not gonna
hit you again, I promise.
See?
Don't you see what she's
doing? She's a maniac!
My mom won't do
anything, either!
Your mom?
Aren't you, like, 40?
Do
you have an Advil?
Stop! I'm in so much pain!
- Just watch!
Watch!
- Well, this isn't funny at all.
- It's not supposed to be funny.
It's illegal!
Just no
more ball stuff, maybe?
Okay!
Hey, hey! What's
the commotion out here?
Oww!
Time out, purple!
I think it's broke, Coach!
Oh, no... Not now!
Sorry, Coach,
you need five to play.
You find someone
else or you forfeit.
Damn it!
You.
You wanna play for me?
Me?
But I'm not in high school.
Not you, idiot! Him!
Roger? My dog?
He's perfect!
I'm a genius.
Come on down!
Okay. Let's go, Roger.
No, no, no!
What the heck's going on here?
Ain't no rule says a dog
can't play basketball.
You sure?
- You don't seem sure.
- Yeah.
Oh, that mutt's gonna play.
And damn it...
He's gonna win!
Come on, Roger.
You can do it, boy!
The dog!
Give it to the dog!
Shoot! Shoot it!
Roger,
Roger, Roger, Roger!
Must have OD'ed
around 4 or 5 am.
Party just got the best of him.
Bad dog. Very bad dog!
Come on, get that piece
of shit outta here!
Morning, class.
My name's Dr. Rosato,
and I want to extend a huge
thank you to your teacher
for letting me
swing by to tell you
a few things about
my favourite subject:
dinosaurs.
Can someone grab
the lights, please?
Thank you.
Oh, what do we have here?
The Ornithomimus.
Many experts believe it
was a distant relative
of the modern ostrich.
It was a fast and
fierce creature.
But don't worry...
I could still take him.
Ah... my old friend,
the Parasaurolophus.
Despite the fact
that they could s
in size, I could still grab
him by that heady thing
and bring him down that way.
- Yes... Stegosaurus.
Famous for its
protective backplates.
But don't let these
sharp spikes fool you,
I could still smash him to
smithereens pretty handily!
And to be honest, it wouldn't
even be all that hard.
Brontosaurus, I'd beat
the heck out of him.
Big turtle guy, put
him in the hospital.
- The Velociraptor...
Oh, come on.
There's no way you can
beat up a dinosaur.
Really?
Yeah, it's like impossible.
- Oh, is that a fact?
- He'd just eat you!
Could I have a word with
you both in the hallway
for a moment, please?
Ooh...
Don't worry, class.
We'll be right back.
So, neither of you think
I can beat any of those
damned things' asses?
Uh-huh.
Let's find out about
that, shall we?
Here we go again.
You comin'?
Whoa!
Oh my gosh!
Now, let's see
what we have here.
- So, what grade are you guys in?
- Nine.
Oh, cool. I love Grade 9.
Brontosaurus.
She's big, but she's slow.
Are you gonna fight it?
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
I don't hit chicks. Let's go.
Either of you have a girlfriend?
- No.
- Oh.
Me, either.
Never settle, boys!
Never settle.
There's someone out there
for all of us, trust me.
Now we're talkin'.
Hey, you Jurassic fuck!
- Come get your ass beat!
Watch this.
Let's dance.
He's just toying with him!
- Clever boy...
Ohh!
- Just stay down, Mister!
- No!
I said I'd beat his ass.
Don't worry about
that, just stay down!
Who's the guest
speaker, me or you?
- You.
- Exactly.
Watch and learn.
- You really are a Jurassic fuck.
Now it's time for you to get...
Nuh-uh, I can't do it!
I can't beat his
ass, it turns out!
Hey, Mister... I think
you might need this.
A grenade? Where'd
you guys get this?
Heh, wouldn't you like to know.
Yeah, I would, but...
no, I gotta use my bare hands.
Beat him... and end him.
You kids are fuckin' crazy.
Alright, I'll be back.
Ha!
Kick the shit out of him!
- Ha!
You got him. You got him!
Woo!
- Hi-yah!
End that fucking dinosaur!
Gotcha!
I guess he always did
want to give me head.
- Right, kids?
- What?
Nothing.
Hey, what's that?
Well...
It's either the end
or the beginning
of an ass-beating.
Come and get some!
we all love the Nike logo,
but you're Michael Jordan.
You need your own logo.
So for your upcoming
shoe release,
we went ahead and made you one.
And I don't want
to sound too cocky,
but we think it's
gonna make this
look like ET's crooked wang.
I like that.
Now imagine you could have
any round object in your hand.
What would it be?
But it has to be
a sports object.
Easy, a basketball.
-I thought so, but what
would you do with it?
Dunk it!
Yes! See, that.
Now imagine you're
going for this dunk.
Are you gonna use two hands like
all those small-handed players
that nobody respects?
Hell no, I'm gonna one-hand
the shit out of it!
I wanna talk about
your legs for a second.
How would you want
them positioned
for this amazing
one-handed dunk?
Close, tight.
I wanna be straight
like a pencil.
Okay, but then
people might think
you don't have much going
on between the legs, Mike.
Just saying. People talk.
Yeah, you're right.
Spread it then, like an eagle.
Yes! And what
are eagles known for?
- Eating their prey.
- Yes, yes, but other than that.
They eat birdseed?
Maybe at a zoo, but let's
move on from what they eat.
Start thinking
about what they do.
They hop?
No, I'm just playin'.
Those things soar.
Weird joke, but you're right.
They soar through the...?
Air. Wait...
What if we called
the new shoes...
Air Jordans?
Oh my God, why didn't
we think of that?
Oh, wait... we did.
Now, keep in mind,
it's just a rough.
It tested
through the roof.
We call it the Jump Man.
We're gonna be rich!
Jordan.
Eww.
-Oh my God, this is so creepy.
-Holy shit, check these out.
See, I told you
Grandpa was a hoarder.
I just feel like we
should put him in a home.
-Wait, can you put that
down and help me look?
I swear I've seen
moonshine down here before.
Oh my God, no way.
-Eww! Grandpa's such a perv!
I guess that's where
Uncle Frank gets it from.
- That's my dad.
- You're right, sorry.
-Who do you think
was his favourite?
-Ooh, let's guess!
- Her maybe?
- Maybe her.
That's a great bathing suit.
Same with that one, too.
That's so weird. Why
is there a guy in here?
I don't know.
Hey, there's one
on this page, too.
- Wait, is that Grandpa?
- Oh my God, it is!
- Why is he making that face?
- This is so bizarre.
Hey, girls. What's
taking so long?
Grandma's baking your
favourite... oh...
Oh, no.
Oh my dear lord, no.
I thought I'd
destroyed them all.
I can't show my face anymore.
Where did you find that?
Oh, just on the shelf here.
-Okay, I admit it.
That's me, your grandpa.
You must remember,
back in the day,
it was highly unusual
for a man to appear
in an all-women's sexy
car wash calendar.
Oh, well...
I guess you look pretty good.
I was in excruciating pain.
Really, why?
See the water? Scalding hot.
Why did they make it hot?
The photographer wanted a
real raw expression from me,
sexual and primal.
We tried to shock the world,
but the world wasn't ready.
Sales plummeted after
opening weekend.
I mean... the cover
is pretty misleading.
First rule in life, always
check the fine print.
-"With women and men"?
Second rule, if you're
gonna integrate men
into a women's
car wash calendar,
an 80 to 20 ratio of men to
women is too much, too soon.
I tried to tell them to use
equal parts men and women,
but they called me a Commie.
You girls have no idea
how good you have it.
So anyways, I guess I
always wanted to get caught.
Grandpa, honestly, it's fine.
Well, it's out there now.
And I guess that's...
Girls, look!
It's Eugene Levy!
Uh... what?
Jim's dad from American
Pie, that's him!
Grandpa... are you okay?
That's Eugene Levy standing
right there behind you!
Okay, Grandpa, I think
you're just upset
that we found your calendar.
Forget the stupid
fucking calendar.
I'm your grandfather.
I love you and would never li,
Eugene Levy is
standing right there!
I can see him!
- Okay, fine.
Grandpa... we see
you under the carpet.
This
carpet is home now.
What did he just say?
I think he said
"carpet is home now."
- Oh, man...
No, no, no, I'm the
office Seinfeld,
Phil is Kramer, and
Megan, you're Elaine.
End of story!
- Wait, so I'm George?!
- Mm-hm!
No way. No, no, no!
- No soup for you!
Sorry, what show is this?
Uh... Seinfeld?
The biggest show of the '90s.
I don't know, I'm only 23.
Oh, Jesus, right, I always
forget you're such a baby.
Okay, here's
a real brainteaser.
The four of us as the "C.
I know what you're gonna say,
and yes, I'm a total Del!
Oh, in your
dreams, Brian!
- I'm not wearing a diaper!
- What?
- Brian said I'm a baby.
I'm not one.
And I don't have a binky.
I go to the bathroom the
same as the rest of you...
Pants down, take a
seat, let it all go.
And it all lands in the
bowl every single time.
Okay... I think we're gett.
- Uh, yeah.
- Maybe we can move on.
Did you guys know that
Brian buys beer for kids?
- Ha-ha.
- What?
Hey, could I talk to you
outside for a second, please?
Sure.
- What are you doing?
- You.
Now they think I have jaundice!
Phil is a total Annie.
You know what?
Fine, if I'm Annie,
then you are Miss
Caroline Duffy herself.
Megan, no one thinks that, okay?
All we're trying to say is
we're old, you're young, okay?
I'm sorry if that offends you.
You're just as capable
as everyone else
and just as good, okay?
Fine.
And we're back.
You two okay?
Oh, yeah, Brian was just asking
if I had any friends my age
who wouldn't mind getting
gross with an old fuck.
- Oh my God.
- Ohh...
Now, why would I
say that about myself?
Okay, we've heard about enough
out of you, you old pervert!
- Phil!
- I can't even be here anymore.
- Come on!
- Me neither.
- How could you?
- Jane, you know better!
- Bye!
- She's lying... obviously.
You know, you really shouldn't
have said anything, Brian.
Now everyone at work is gonna
think you're an old fuck.
Yeah, and a pervert. I
get it, Megan, thank you.
Why are you even still here?
I don't have my license.
You have to drive
me home, remember?
- 'Cause I'm a widdle baby!
Wah!
Waaah!
This party is gonna be so funny.
Hilarious.
Why do you two keep saying that?
It's all the people
that we met at that...
- Introduction to improv class.
- Improv class!
Oh no...
This is a comedy party.
-Uh, yeah!
All the funniest people in
the city in the same place.
It's gonna be a riot!
- Look around.
Do you see anyone laughing?
That's hilarious.
I mean, everybody knows
that comedy comes in threes,
but I presuppose it
could come in twos...?
Let's get outta here.
Okay, relax. It's
not that bad.
You don't get it.
Any minute from now,
some guy's gonna show
up that everyone here
is trying to impress
because he sold a show
and they all want
writing jobs from him.
- And then...
So, so then I turn to
McKay and I'm like,
"That's not what I meant
by bottomless mimosas!"
Blitzo's here!
Blitzo's here. Woo! Let's go!
One lap and we're out.
- You're being dramatic.
- No, I'm not!
Now, if anyone asks you to
watch their skit, just say no!
It's actually
called a sketch.
Skits are something
you do at camp.
- Where's Bella?
Just leave her.
She's already gone.
Trust me, he doesn't want notes.
Bella!
Through here, through here!
Over here...
We're watching Kyle
Mooney's cut for time
SNL sketches on YouTube.
They're way funnier than
the ones that get on air.
Jill, let...
So subverted...
I guess you just don't get it.
Whatever. It's
already finished.
Why would you ask me for notes
if you didn't want any changes?
Oh, yes!
Oh! Oh, great pratfall, man!
- Fuck...
- Great pratfall!
Blitzo?
- Big fan.
- Yeah!
Look, man, are you a comedian?
'Cause I'm actually looking
for writers for my new show.
-Big time.
I've been working
on a skit... sketch.
It's called "Dr. Fartstein."
- I'm listening.
- Okay.
It starts with a fart, you know?
- But it gets better.
- Yeah.
He's really farting...
Well...
I hurt someone yesterday.
Again?
Ah...
- Aah, help!
Oh my God!
I've been beaten,
tortured! I need your help!
Who did this to you?
My sister. She's
a fucking maniac.
- Your sister did this?
- I got video.
I got the whole goddamn
thing. You gotta see.
Yeah...
Thank you...
Oh, she's coming!
What the
fuck are you doing?
Sit down!
- Ow, fuck!
My knee! I need those!
Uh, what's with
the sound effects?
She must have gotten to
it. Hacked the mainframe!
Just watch! Look
what she's done!
What are
those? What are those?
Ow, ow!
- Please, this is serious!
Sorry.
Do you want the brick?
No, I don't. Unless
you hand it to me maybe?
Okay, I'll
hand you the brick.
Pick it up!
- Pick it up.
- Okay, okay!
Hey, Mary, um...
you gotta see this.
See what?
I'm not gonna
hit you again, I promise.
See?
Don't you see what she's
doing? She's a maniac!
My mom won't do
anything, either!
Your mom?
Aren't you, like, 40?
Do
you have an Advil?
Stop! I'm in so much pain!
- Just watch!
Watch!
- Well, this isn't funny at all.
- It's not supposed to be funny.
It's illegal!
Just no
more ball stuff, maybe?
Okay!
Hey, hey! What's
the commotion out here?
Oww!
Time out, purple!
I think it's broke, Coach!
Oh, no... Not now!
Sorry, Coach,
you need five to play.
You find someone
else or you forfeit.
Damn it!
You.
You wanna play for me?
Me?
But I'm not in high school.
Not you, idiot! Him!
Roger? My dog?
He's perfect!
I'm a genius.
Come on down!
Okay. Let's go, Roger.
No, no, no!
What the heck's going on here?
Ain't no rule says a dog
can't play basketball.
You sure?
- You don't seem sure.
- Yeah.
Oh, that mutt's gonna play.
And damn it...
He's gonna win!
Come on, Roger.
You can do it, boy!
The dog!
Give it to the dog!
Shoot! Shoot it!
Roger,
Roger, Roger, Roger!
Must have OD'ed
around 4 or 5 am.
Party just got the best of him.
Bad dog. Very bad dog!
Come on, get that piece
of shit outta here!
Morning, class.
My name's Dr. Rosato,
and I want to extend a huge
thank you to your teacher
for letting me
swing by to tell you
a few things about
my favourite subject:
dinosaurs.
Can someone grab
the lights, please?
Thank you.
Oh, what do we have here?
The Ornithomimus.
Many experts believe it
was a distant relative
of the modern ostrich.
It was a fast and
fierce creature.
But don't worry...
I could still take him.
Ah... my old friend,
the Parasaurolophus.
Despite the fact
that they could s
in size, I could still grab
him by that heady thing
and bring him down that way.
- Yes... Stegosaurus.
Famous for its
protective backplates.
But don't let these
sharp spikes fool you,
I could still smash him to
smithereens pretty handily!
And to be honest, it wouldn't
even be all that hard.
Brontosaurus, I'd beat
the heck out of him.
Big turtle guy, put
him in the hospital.
- The Velociraptor...
Oh, come on.
There's no way you can
beat up a dinosaur.
Really?
Yeah, it's like impossible.
- Oh, is that a fact?
- He'd just eat you!
Could I have a word with
you both in the hallway
for a moment, please?
Ooh...
Don't worry, class.
We'll be right back.
So, neither of you think
I can beat any of those
damned things' asses?
Uh-huh.
Let's find out about
that, shall we?
Here we go again.
You comin'?
Whoa!
Oh my gosh!
Now, let's see
what we have here.
- So, what grade are you guys in?
- Nine.
Oh, cool. I love Grade 9.
Brontosaurus.
She's big, but she's slow.
Are you gonna fight it?
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
I don't hit chicks. Let's go.
Either of you have a girlfriend?
- No.
- Oh.
Me, either.
Never settle, boys!
Never settle.
There's someone out there
for all of us, trust me.
Now we're talkin'.
Hey, you Jurassic fuck!
- Come get your ass beat!
Watch this.
Let's dance.
He's just toying with him!
- Clever boy...
Ohh!
- Just stay down, Mister!
- No!
I said I'd beat his ass.
Don't worry about
that, just stay down!
Who's the guest
speaker, me or you?
- You.
- Exactly.
Watch and learn.
- You really are a Jurassic fuck.
Now it's time for you to get...
Nuh-uh, I can't do it!
I can't beat his
ass, it turns out!
Hey, Mister... I think
you might need this.
A grenade? Where'd
you guys get this?
Heh, wouldn't you like to know.
Yeah, I would, but...
no, I gotta use my bare hands.
Beat him... and end him.
You kids are fuckin' crazy.
Alright, I'll be back.
Ha!
Kick the shit out of him!
- Ha!
You got him. You got him!
Woo!
- Hi-yah!
End that fucking dinosaur!
Gotcha!
I guess he always did
want to give me head.
- Right, kids?
- What?
Nothing.
Hey, what's that?
Well...
It's either the end
or the beginning
of an ass-beating.
Come and get some!