The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 8, Episode 3 - Particles in Motion - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

Dave, I think you need
some more slack on that wire.

Dr. Huxtable, I
got plenty of slack.

You know, what I need is room.

Excuse me.

No wait! Where are you going?

I'm gonna go get a wire
nut. It's out on my truck.

No, no. I don't want you to go.

Oh, it'll only take a minute.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You say that, and
then you'll be gone,



and I won't see you
until tomorrow, Dave.

Now come on.

That's because if
it isn't on my truck,

I have to go all the way
over to the shop to get it.

Now, Dave, listen to me.

You do fine work.

It takes a long time.

Look, you're a nice fellow.

I like you. Understand?

But in my mind, this
is the way I see it.

You're over at the store,

and then in the
morning, you say,

"Well, I gotta go
over to the Huxtables',

"and I have to put
some wire nuts in.



"So let's see.

"Don't put any wire
nuts on the truck.

"Don't put any wire clippers.

"As a matter of fact,

don't put any wire
on the truck at all."

And then you come here,

and you say you don't have it,

then you go away,
and then I don't see you

until the next morning, Dave.

So let the man go, Cliff.

Let him go where?

Thank you, Mrs. Huxtable.

I will always do work for you.

Yeah, because she's the
only one who will hire you!

See? You're at it again.

You're bothering people.

Yes, you.

You pestered Andre
from the time he dug a hole

to the time he put that wall up,

and now you're worrying Dave
about electrical and plumbing.

The one job that
you are in charge of

is still not finished.

The doorbell.

First of all, the doorbell
and Andre have an attitude.

[car door slams]

[car driving away]

We won't see him until
tomorrow sometime.

Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.

How you doing?
How are you doing?

Fine.

Good. Hey, Dad. Hey.

Hey, where's the food?

Somebody stole it.

Dad, where's the food, really?

The food is gone, Theo.

If we get hungry,
we go for take-out.

Hey, here's your book.

The book you asked
for: Behavioral Science.

Thanks, Dad. You're welcome.

Where's the food?

There's no food, man.
We don't have any food.

All right, be like that.

That's all right.

How are you?

[sighs] Well, I'm living.

I got my first
parent-counselor night

at the center this Friday.

[Cliff] Oh, yeah?

I gotta admit, I'm
kind of nervous.

You got any leftovers?

Theo, there is no food.
Why are you nervous?

Well, because I have one-on-one
meetings with the parents

and some of the kids
aren't doing too well.

I'm not experienced at
handling a parent's reactions.

I can understand.

So you don't want him
to shoot the messenger.

There you go.

You want to practice?

On you?

Yeah, I'll be a parent.

Okay.

Okay, I'll be Mr. Jamison.

All right, now, Mr. Jamison,

No, no, my name is Jameson.

See, people make
that mistake all the time.

They say Jamison.
My name is Jameson.

Okay, Mr. Jameson... Mm-hmm.

Your son, Jamie...
Right, Jamie, Jr.

See, I'm Jamie, Sr.

The second.

Okay, Mr. Jameson,
your son, Jamie, Jr...

Yeah.

He's a nice boy.

Thank you. Thank you.

But he refuses to
participate in group activities.

So... So what?

My son is an individual.

He thinks like an individual,

which is the same
way that I think.

Now you have a
problem with that?

No, sir, not at all.

How old are you, boy?

I hope none of the parents
are like Mr. Jameson, Dad.

You can't hope.

You can't hope, because
when it shows up,

hope will leave you.

Every parent is different, see?

Like Mr. Jameson's
real different.

So you have to be flexible.

Okay. Well, why
don't you be a parent?

Uh-oh.

Okay, you'll be Mrs. Jackson.

Be careful.

Mrs. Jackson, your
daughter, Joella,

has a concentration problem.

¿Qué, que?

No entiendo.

Pero creo que Usted
es un hombre muy...

Naw, naw.

No, Ma, Mrs. Jackson.

I said your last
name is Mrs. Jackson.

Sí. Sí, es correcto.
Soy Señora Jackson, sí.

Deal with it! Deal with it now!

Hablo un poquito de español.

Necesitamos un interprete.

My man dealt with it.

Cliff, look at this.

Theo has outdone himself.

Okay, are we ready?

Look, do me a favor.

Here, here are
the keys to the car.

Why don't you drive yourself
where you want to go?

And then you come
back and get us.

Daddy.

All right, then behave yourself.

[Theo] Hey!

Hey!

Thanks for coming down.

Impressive.

How are your one-on-one
conferences going?

All positive so far.

No Mr. Jamesons?

None yet.

Well, he's coming.

Thank you.

Look, Rudy.

String art. Cool!

Thanks.

Olivia, come on,
we really have to g...

Hi.

Hi.

Nice boat.

Thanks. It's a ship.

Oh.

Good use of string.

It's hard to make
waves without water.

But if you move your
head from side to side,

you get the feel of it.

Oh, yeah, I'm there.

Rudy, we're ready to go.

Mm, Mom, I'm not ready yet.

Haven't seen all the exhibits.

Is, uh, he the exhibit?

Dad.

I'm sorry. Hi. I'm Stanley.

Hello. How are you?

Mrs. Huxtable, Dr. Huxtable.

And I'm Rudy Huxtable.

And I'm ready to go!

Are you all related
to Theo Huxtable?

Yes, we are.

Theo knows how to
get in touch with you.

Yeah, uh, yeah.

It was very nice to
have met you, Stanley.

Bye. Bye.

I think I got my
first Mr. Jameson.

All right, well take care of it.

Good luck!

We're going over
to the video store

and rent Father of the Bride.

Mr. Huxtable?

Hi, I'm Lisa Hairston.

Ah, Ms. Hairston, hi!

Come on in. Have a seat, please.

Thank you.

You know, I never realized

what a full program
you have here.

I'm impressed.

Well, thank you on
behalf of all of us here.

So, how's my Ivy doing?

Well, Ms. Hairston,

what I'm about to say to you

is not something
we can't deal with,

and I don't want you
to take it personally.

I don't want Ivy to
take it personally.

I don't want any of Ivy's
friends to take it personally.

Mr. Huxtable,
come on out with it.

I can handle it.

You sure? Well, watch me.

Well, as you know, I confer
with all my kids' teachers,

and Ivy's teacher
has informed me

that she's not
doing her homework.

My Ivy?

Now, this is nothing
to get upset about.

Mr. Huxtable, there is
no need to sugar coat this.

Well, okay.

Ivy's been telling me that she
doesn't do her homework here

because she does
it with you at home.

Oh, that's interesting

because it's impossible for
Ivy to do it with me at home.

I'm in school four
nights a week.

Now, she tells me that she
does it all here at the center.

Okay, well, it appears to me
we've got two problems here:

ethics and commitment.

I agree.

She's lying, and she's lazy.

Okay, if you want to
put it in those terms.

Mr. Huxtable, those
are the terms they're in.

You see, I'm
raising my daughter,

and I love her.

She loves me.

We're good friends.

But we had an understanding.

Now with her support,
I've returned to school.

Something I had
postponed earlier in life,

and now she's choosing
to disregard our agreement.

Well, Ms. Hairston,
I really just think

she's just choosing to be 13,

but it's nothing
we can't manage.

I hope so.

I really don't want
to quit school.

You don't have to
worry about that.

Look, if it was up to me,

children would
be like elevators.

The doors would never
open on the 13th floor.

Right? I think I was worse
than Ivy when I was 13.

Well, for me it was 14.

See, I'm just glad that...

Uh, well, getting back.

You see...

My suggestion is that
we set up a check system

between Ivy's teacher,
yourself and me.

That way, you'll
know her assignment,

what she's finished each
day when she leaves here.

Yeah, okay, I'm for it.

Okay, well, let's
try for next week.

If you want to check in
with me say next Saturday,

I'm here until 4:00.

Well, I'll make it a point
to be here before 4:00.

Good.

Thank you.

Well, thank you for coming in.

Mmm-hm, thank you.

You know, if you'd like
to meet before Saturday,

have some coffee...

Thank you, but I do think
Saturday is a good idea.

Okay, thank you.

It's been a pleasure
meeting you, Mr. Huxtable.

Same here, Ms. Hairston.

It's Lisa.

Ms. Hairston's my mother.

The transaction doubled the
size of the U.S. at that time.

Man, Louisiana
Purchase is boring.

I agree.

Let's get this paper over with

so we can go to
the record store.

Yeah.

Let's not fool around. No.

Let's focus.

Let's concentrate.

You got any snacks?

[phone rings]

I'll get it.

Hello, Huxtable residence.

Speaking.

Oh, hi, Stanley.

Um, you got my number from Theo?

No, I'm not doing anything.

Excuse me.

Kenny, why don't you
go get us some snacks.

I'm not hungry.

I'm in a work mode.

Sorry, Stanley.

I just have an old friend over.

Next Saturday?

At 5:00?

Yeah, I'll be here.

All right. I'll see you then.

Bye.

Well, old friend...

can we get to work?

Yeah... yeah, sure.

Louisiana Purchase
was one of the largest

land acquisitions
in U.S. history.

Well, how's everything going?

Just fine, sir.

Just trying to get some
work done around here.

Glad to hear it.

At ease.

Ah, Ms. Hairston.

Hi, Mr. Huxtable.

Good to see you again.

Likewise, likewise.

Have a seat.

Look, before we
get started with this,

I have an apology to make.

You do? Mm-hmm.

In regard to that coffee
invitation last Friday?

Look, don't even worry about it.

Mr. Huxtable, my
grandmother used to say to me,

"Lisa, we all have an open
window to our personal lives,

"but, honey, we have
got to control the shade."

Now, last Friday...

I had my shade down,

and I tugged on
it a little too hard,

and it snapped all the way up.

And for that, I apologize.

Apology accepted.

Look, whatever your
attraction for me is,

we can keep it on
a professional level.

Mr. Huxtable, isn't
there anything else

you'd like to say?

I appreciate your honesty.

[scoffs]

You appreciate my honesty?

[Theo] Yeah.

Mr. Huxtable, when we
were talking last Friday,

was it me or did I detect
a rise in your shade?

Look, Ms. Hairston,

I would really hate
for you to confuse

my counseling techniques
with emotional involvement.

Oh, so when you smiled
at me with your eyes,

that was strictly counseling?

Friendly counseling.

Yes, yes, indeed. Mm-hmm.

Okay, it was very
friendly counseling.

But I really don't think
we should see each other.

Right. No coffee.

No coffee.

No coffee?

Not even decaf.

Our focus is on Ivy.

Right. Ivy.

Deal? Mm-hmm. Deal.

Deal. We got a deal. Yes.

Ms. Hairston.

Mr. Huxtable. So
nice to see you again.

Yes. Please have a seat.

Sitting.

So what would you have
had with your coffee?

Sweet potato pie. Nice choice.

Now, about Ivy.

Okay, well, Mr. Thompson says
he's pleased with her progress.

[doorbell rings]

[fading]

Oh, my God, that's
so embarrassing.

Kenny, what are you doing here?

This is the Huxtable
residence, isn't it?

You didn't move, did you?

Kenny, I'm expecting company.

Oh, really?

Well, I just came here to see
my dear old friend Dr. Huxtable.

[door slams closed]

Are you going to
wear those shoes?

What... What's wrong with them?

Oh, nothing. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to bring it up.

[whispering] Oh, God!

Good afternoon.

Stanley, isn't it?

Yeah, is Rudy home?

Yeah. She expecting you?

Yeah.

Are you Rudy's brother?

You could say that.

Okay, you're Rudy's brother.

Come in.

Sit down.

Let's chat.

So, Stan, you got big
plans for the evening?

Maybe we do, maybe we don't.

You got a problem with that?

You know, it's
awfully close to dinner

to be calling on Rudy.

Hey, I don't know what time
you guys eat around here.

Well, maybe you
should check next time.

I don't smell nothing cooking.

It's frozen.

Kenny, you're still here!

Hi, Stanley.

Hi.

Your brother and I were
just talking about you.

Brother?

He said it. I just
didn't correct him.

Well, then who are you?

I'm a close friend
of her father's.

As we know, all
men are brothers.

Well, brother, you and
I are not finished yet.

Any time, brother.

Um, Kenny, my
father is upstairs.

I'll see him when I'm ready.

Hey, Ken.

Ah, Dr. Huxtable.

Ah, the string designer.

How you doing? How's everything?

All right. Heh heh heh.

So, Dr. Huxtable, how's
the baby business?

Well, it's still going on, Ken.

How's Mrs. Huxtable?

Last time we talked,

she said. "Kenny, I
need your prayers,

"I've got a big case coming up."

She's just fine, Kenny.

More importantly, how are you?

Holding my own, sir.

[chuckling]

Rudy, why don't we get
together another time.

We will get together
another time.

No, Stanley, why don't you stay?

You heard the man.

If he wants to go, let him go.

Rudy, you mind
walking me to the corner?

Gladly.

Stanley, don't make
yourself a stranger.

Yeah, don't be a
stranger, Stanley.

We'll always be here.

How did the conference
with Ivy's mother go?

Well, it couldn't have
been better, actually.

It looks like we're getting
Ivy back on the right track.

What about that other little
situation with Ivy's mother?

Come on, Mom, can we
focus on the big picture here?

Okay, okay, the big picture.

Sounds like it went well.

It did.

You know, it's funny.

When you're in the
position to help people,

a lot of emotions
can get mixed up.

I know.

No, I'm talking about people
can become attracted to you.

I know.

[laughing]

No, Mom, what I'm saying is,

romantically, people can
become attracted to you.

I know.

You?

Mom?

Yes, I know.

Attorneys help
people in distress, too.

I know, but you?

Mom?

You think when I go to work,

people look at me and
say "That's Theo's mother"?

Honey, that's not my name.

My name is not Theo's mother.

People don't look at me

and say that's a
married, dull person.

Are you kidding?

Wake up and smell the flowers.

Do you know how
many invitations I get

to candlelight
dinners after work?

[laughing]

Do you know how many times
I've been asked to Broadway plays

with a little
cha-cha afterwards?

Have you any idea of
the number of plane tickets

that are left on my desk

to Sri Lanka and Rio for lunch?

You're talking about a
little invitation to coffee?

Please!

♪♪ [theme]

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