The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 8, Episode 16 - Eat, Drink and Be Wary - full transcript
Clair goes away for the weekend and tells Cliff he has to behave and not eat a lot of food that is not on his diet. No one believes he will stick to his diet. Rudy and her friends want to take the subway to a dance.
♪♪ [theme]
Theo!
Here's your mom's bags!
Well, Cliff, I'm off.
All right, honey, now take care.
Mm. Don't you wanna
stay a little while?
Do you have to leave? Hmm?
Well, no. Well, good.
But I better. [laughs]
I better leave right now.
Yeah, I better go now.
Well, Washington's
gain is our loss.
I want you to behave yourself
while you're... In this dress?
Hey. I don't want you going out
there, running down the hallways,
knocking on strange men's doors
and streaking past the White House.
Well, what can I do, then?
'Cause I know
what you'll be doing.
What will I be doing? Tell me.
No, you're supposed to be
going this way. No, no no.
Tell me to behave
myself, see. Yes.
And you've got an unsupervised
weekend ahead of you?
I don't need any
supervision. Yes, you need...
Don't go up under there, dear.
How did you know I was
going up under there?
You only gonna get soot.
That's all... Now, see...
I'm telling you, soot.
Soot.
There is cholesterol
in this kitchen.
No, there's not...
I need to find it.
There's nothing up
there. I know you.
There are cookies and
chips hidden... I haven't...
No, there's no chips.
Ha! Nothing, I'm telling you.
That's what we're eating. See?
That's what I'm eating.
Look at the greens
on top. Please.
Please, please don't demonstrate
those sad little uncut
vegetables to me.
I know you. As soon
as I walk out of the door,
you're taking them
back to the market,
you're gonna trade 'em in
for some sad lunch meat.
Oh, this is... this
is pitiful. I'm hurt.
I am hurt. What's in there?
It's seven-grain
bread. Yeah, right.
Would've been 11, but I
got to the bakery too late.
So, that's it.
Now go on and go to Washington,
D.C. You've worn out your welcome.
[laughs] Go ahead.
The table, there's
nothing there.
I'm gonna drag it out... [Theo]
Mom, you're gonna be late!
Oh, that's my car. See,
your son's calling. Bye-bye.
All right, honey.
Take care. You
be good now. Okay.
I will. All right.
And... Go ahead, here we go.
I'll call you as soon
as I get there. Please.
I miss you. Bye.
Especially in the dark.
Aha!
Why don't you dry up?
Aha what?
Aha this? Haha yourself.
I'm slicing these
things, I'm cooking, I'm...
I've turned over a new
leaf now, I'm telling you.
You never know when
I'm gonna show up.
I'll be ready for you.
Okay. What do you think
about this skirt and this top?
No way. Not at all.
What's the matter with it?
It doesn't make a
statement. At all.
Hey, you're wearing daisies. What
kind of statement does that make?
Now, look what I'm wearing.
What do these say to you?
Susan, those are so elegant!
Three pairs for a dollar
at the Accessory Hut.
Do you know how Sharon Williams
and her two so-called friends,
Mary and Joanne, are
getting to the dance?
Isn't their mom dropping
them off? That's what I heard.
Nope. Their mother's
giving them money for a cab.
No, no way, I don't
believe it. A cab?
She's probably just
making that up. Yeah.
No, it's true. Oh,
you know them.
We're gonna hear
about this forever.
I know how we could
make a statement
and show Sharon who's
really hot and independent.
[Both] What?
Forget about the cab.
We could take the
subway to the dance.
Subway? Into
Manhattan? At night?
What is more hot and independent
than an adventuresome woman?
Rudy, you are so right.
Can you imagine the look on
Sharon and her friends' faces
when we tell them how
we got to the dance? Yeah.
Yeah. Wait.
What about our
parents? What about 'em?
Yeah. Do you think
they'll let us go?
As long as we tell
them we're responsible
and know what we're doing,
I don't see why they wouldn't.
Yeah.
By the way, how do we get there?
Hey, Rudy, are you finished
with my gold hoop earrings?
Pam, Charmaine, come on in!
If you were gonna take
the subway tonight...
Into Manhattan.
Near LaGuardia Hall.
How would you get
there? Via the subway.
[Charmaine] That's
easy, girlfriend.
You just go to the
Clark Street station,
take the number 2 or
3 either to 241st Street
in the Bronx or 148th
Street in Harlem,
make sure you stay in
the middle of the cars,
transfer Fulton Street
station, go up the stairs,
and this is also the
Broadway-Nassau Street station.
Then you just take the "A" to
Washington Heights, the "C" to the Bronx,
and just get off at West 4th
Street, Washington Square.
Thank you, Charmaine.
Now, why would
we want to go there?
We don't. We're
going to the movies.
Talking about them,
Charmaine. Oh.
Rudy. There's gonna
be a dance there tonight.
And you think your dad's gonna let
you take the subway there at night?
Well, how old were you when
you first took the subway at night?
I was ten. And I was nine.
I was just tall for my age.
Wow. If our parents
would let us do that,
we'd be really mature by now.
I know, instead of being
dropped off like a bunch of kids.
Listen to that, they don't
want to be driven places.
Imagine that. I mean,
if my family had a car
and they had time
to drive me around,
honey, I would call people to come
out their house to come watch me leave.
Well, we want to
take the subway.
Instead of people
saying, "Who are they?"
they'd be saying,
"There they are!"
And we have to show them
that we know what we're doing.
So could you go over those
directions again, please?
Sure. You take the number 2 or
3 to 241st Street in the Bronx...
Hold on, wait, wait, wait.
Let me get a pencil and
pad so I won't miss a thing.
They gonna get lost.
[door closes] [Sondra] Hello!
Hello!
Hello! Hello!
How you doing,
honey? Good, good.
Whoa. No, no, no. Dr. Huxtable.
You remember...
Long, long, long time!
You're looking good,
Dr. Huxtable! Thank you very much.
Well, Tracy just
got into town today,
so we're going out
to dinner at Abbott's.
Oh, my goodness. Well,
bless you. Bless you.
We thought we'd stop
by here first and say hi.
Where's Mom? I wanted to return
this law book that I borrowed from her.
Mom is away at
Washington, D.C., pardon me,
lawyers' convention,
you see. But you know
you guys can join us. Come on.
Oh, no, no. We're celebrating.
Tracy just drove in from Oregon.
You're kidding. How
long did it take you?
Six weeks.
Six weeks? Well, you know,
they've upped the speed limit.
No, Dr. Huxtable, I
stopped to take photographs.
Yeah, Tracy's going
to be publishing a book.
Really? What's it about?
Well, I'm driving
cross-country... Yeah.
But I'm taking the back
roads, not the main highways,
photographing my impressions
of small-town America.
Photography. Was that
your major at Princeton?
Uh, no. It was architecture.
But, you see, one day I realized that
I was not enjoying what I was doing.
So I picked up my camera and I told
my parents that this is what I wanna do.
Are your parents...
How do they feel
about this career change
after they spent $140,000?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Dad, Tracy takes
very good photographs.
Yeah? All right,
well, good luck.
Good luck. Oh, Dad. Broccoli?
Steamed.
And chicken. Boiled.
Brown rice? Brown rice,
the only way you can do it.
Yes, indeed. Well, Dad, where's
the stuff that you're going to eat?
Hehehehe. That's it.
Tracy, every time my
mother goes out of town,
my dad gorges
himself on junk food.
I'm telling you, I
turned over a new leaf.
Well, Dad, you know, you turned
over a new leaf a couple times before,
but the problem was that the old leaf was
always right under there waiting for you.
Well, go ahead, sing something.
Oh, okay. The attire.
For going out. You
got it all together?
Yep, we're all ready.
Okay. And your
mother is going to pick
the three of you up here
and take you to the dance?
I'm asking you a question.
Yeah.
Okay. And your
mother is gonna pick
the three of you up at the dance
and drop Rudy off here.
That's the plan.
Or maybe we'll take the subway.
[tapping]
[continues tapping]
Nice try.
Nice try.
I have to give a lecture.
I know none of
you like lectures.
But Rudy is our last child.
And I knew from experience...
The other four... that when
the three of you came down,
in a line, there was
something tricky going on.
So then, you walk
off and you say,
"Or we'll take the subway."
See? Like, hoping
that maybe my brain
fell into one of
those steam pots.
Well, it didn't.
I heard subway.
Not car. I heard,
"Well, maybe we'll
take the subway."
Now, all I want to
know is... subway.
I mean, how are
you going to do that?
Oh, we'll buy some tokens.
And you, too, have humor.
I am asking how you
are going to knock me out,
tie me up, throw me
down in the cellar,
and the three of you take off on
the subway to go to this dance.
We'll be in high school
in only two years.
This changes the
subject, doesn't it?
We've gone to the subway
to now when you're graduating
and gonna be in high school.
What's that have to do
with tonight's subway?
See, all we have to do is take the
2 to the Bronx or the 3 to Harlem.
Then transfer to the "C" or "A"
to Bronx or Washington Heights.
And then get off at Washington
Square, West 4th Street.
Good. So you'll
keep that in mind
two years from now,
when you're in high school.
Okay? But, Dad...
But... No, no, no. Please
don't "But, Dad" me.
I've got three young ladies
supposed to have
somebody pick 'em up
and take 'em to... And now you all
are changing this thing around on me.
I need two parents, a volunteer
to ride the subway
train with you.
But, Dad, if a parent goes along,
it's the same thing as driving us there.
Could you clarify that?
Well, the point is we
want to go by ourselves.
Ah. Ah. Then the
answer's easy. No.
But...
Thank you very
much. ♪♪ [humming]
And that doesn't help either.
Get me in trouble.
Say, "Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead,"
right, and I'll be
popular with the kids,
and then the parents call up,
"Have you seen our children?
They're on the 11:00
news, you know?"
Here it is, salad,
spinach, mushrooms,
with a vinaigrette sauce and I've
mixed it all 'round. Go ahead, hit it.
[All] Salad?
Yes. The crunchy, green
stuff. You've all eaten it before.
Good for you. Nutrition.
Oh, okay, I get it. The
nutrients before the feast.
Right. All right.
So what's the second
course, Cousin Cliff?
Cookies!
No.
Chicken! Ooh.
Boiled. With the skin taken off.
Oh.
Well, I also have...
steamed broccoli.
You sure are serving a lot
of green food, Cousin Cliff.
To balance it out, I
have a carbohydrate.
French fries? Wrong.
Cookies! Wrong again.
Brown rice. Ta-da.
All right, hit it.
Come on, let's go.
[children chatter]
So, Cousin Pam, cousin
best friend Charmaine,
what are you doing tonight?
We're going to the movies.
On the subway?
Yes.
On the subway.
So, Cousin Pam, cousin
best friend Charmaine,
where is this movie theatre
that you are going to?
Well, I understand it's
right across the street
from the dance
that you're going to.
Um, what time does
this movie start?
7:30.
Isn't that a coincidence?
Our dance starts at 7:30.
And what time will this
movie be letting out?
9:30.
9:30, the same
time our dance ends.
Well, you know Dad won't let
us ride the subway alone at night.
We need a chaperone.
Since we're going the same
way, do you think that we could...
Ride with you there?
And bring you back later?
[All three] Yeah.
You're gonna have...
I already did.
She says it's okay.
And I guess... I did, too.
Go ahead.
[All] Yes!
Oh, Dr. Huxtable.
Hey. What are you doing?
Reading the paper,
catching up on the news.
Oh. Mm-hmm.
Can I read the newspaper, too?
Okay, I'll give you the funnies.
No, no, no. I want to
catch up on the news.
Okay. I'll give
you the front page.
That's the front
part of the paper.
That'll give you all the news.
Great. All right?
Perfect, thank you.
You're welcome.
Ahh. Boy, oh, boy.
What's the world coming to?
I never thought I'd
live to see the day.
You never thought you'd
live to see the day what, dear?
You have to wait
until I'm finished.
Boy, oh, boy.
Gimme this.
Boy, oh, boy, huh? Mm-hmm.
What... Boy, oh, boy!
Says here that Olivia Kendall
has to wash the dishes
and clean the stove
and do the kitchen floor.
Boy, oh, boy!
What?
Yes. Right... Gimme that paper.
It said right here
that Dr. Huxtable
has to give Olivia
600 puppies, plus...
800 bowls of ice
cream at 8:30 tonight.
Now, where am I gonna be
able to get all that by 8:30 tonight?
I don't know.
Look in your paper.
It has all the big news.
Ahh.
[TV Announcer] Coming up next, the
main event: the Freeman-Price bout.
Hey, Dad.
Oh, hi. Hi, honey.
How are you? Good. Great.
Okay. How was
dinner? It was great.
I had Tracy drop me off here.
You did? Mm-hmm.
Oh. Oh, good.
Yeah, so...
dinner was fine, and all
the children are gone now.
Olivia's upstairs, got
her all bedded down.
And, um, I'm thinking
about turning in myself.
So, um, you planning
on staying? Mm-hmm.
[doorbell rings]
Hi. Dr. Huxtable, here you go.
Um, buffalo wings,
extra sauce on the side.
One pizza and one
pint of coffee ice cream.
Mrs. Huxtable
must be out of town.
Looks like it's gonna
be a good fight tonight.
Olivia! This food
you ordered is here!
Thank you. Thank you.
Enjoy the fight, doctor.
Yeah, thank you.
They're not allowed
up here, you know,
and you are the first.
And so I want you to enjoy
this to the fullest, because...
[rings] I'm going to
enjoy you. Heh heh.
Hello?
Hi, sweetheart.
Ah ha ha.
And how are you? I'm fine.
Good. I owe you an apology.
This morning I doubted your commitment
to your diet, and that was wrong.
Yeah, well, listen, honey. Don't...
Don't make a big thing out of it,
don't wear yourself
out, you know? It's...
Just let bygones be bygones.
So how was your dinner?
Dinner? Yeah.
Oh, it was fantastic.
Just enjoyed it. You
know, the broccoli florettes,
they were like little brooms
sweeping out the arteries.
Aw. I'm glad you feel better.
You must be very,
very exhausted by now,
so get yourself some rest.
Well, I am... I am tired,
but I attended a most
interesting seminar today
on partnership assessment.
And do you know what
the most important element
in a successful partnership is?
Trust?
I love you. Good night.
Yes, I love you too, honey.
Good... Good night.
Okay.
Dirty, dirty,
dirty. Dirty, dirty.
Dirty, dirty, low-down,
no-good wife.
Dirty!
Able to look through
the telephone.
Ah, you're a
no-good, dirty, dirty...
See? Even God doesn't
want me to have it.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
Theo!
Here's your mom's bags!
Well, Cliff, I'm off.
All right, honey, now take care.
Mm. Don't you wanna
stay a little while?
Do you have to leave? Hmm?
Well, no. Well, good.
But I better. [laughs]
I better leave right now.
Yeah, I better go now.
Well, Washington's
gain is our loss.
I want you to behave yourself
while you're... In this dress?
Hey. I don't want you going out
there, running down the hallways,
knocking on strange men's doors
and streaking past the White House.
Well, what can I do, then?
'Cause I know
what you'll be doing.
What will I be doing? Tell me.
No, you're supposed to be
going this way. No, no no.
Tell me to behave
myself, see. Yes.
And you've got an unsupervised
weekend ahead of you?
I don't need any
supervision. Yes, you need...
Don't go up under there, dear.
How did you know I was
going up under there?
You only gonna get soot.
That's all... Now, see...
I'm telling you, soot.
Soot.
There is cholesterol
in this kitchen.
No, there's not...
I need to find it.
There's nothing up
there. I know you.
There are cookies and
chips hidden... I haven't...
No, there's no chips.
Ha! Nothing, I'm telling you.
That's what we're eating. See?
That's what I'm eating.
Look at the greens
on top. Please.
Please, please don't demonstrate
those sad little uncut
vegetables to me.
I know you. As soon
as I walk out of the door,
you're taking them
back to the market,
you're gonna trade 'em in
for some sad lunch meat.
Oh, this is... this
is pitiful. I'm hurt.
I am hurt. What's in there?
It's seven-grain
bread. Yeah, right.
Would've been 11, but I
got to the bakery too late.
So, that's it.
Now go on and go to Washington,
D.C. You've worn out your welcome.
[laughs] Go ahead.
The table, there's
nothing there.
I'm gonna drag it out... [Theo]
Mom, you're gonna be late!
Oh, that's my car. See,
your son's calling. Bye-bye.
All right, honey.
Take care. You
be good now. Okay.
I will. All right.
And... Go ahead, here we go.
I'll call you as soon
as I get there. Please.
I miss you. Bye.
Especially in the dark.
Aha!
Why don't you dry up?
Aha what?
Aha this? Haha yourself.
I'm slicing these
things, I'm cooking, I'm...
I've turned over a new
leaf now, I'm telling you.
You never know when
I'm gonna show up.
I'll be ready for you.
Okay. What do you think
about this skirt and this top?
No way. Not at all.
What's the matter with it?
It doesn't make a
statement. At all.
Hey, you're wearing daisies. What
kind of statement does that make?
Now, look what I'm wearing.
What do these say to you?
Susan, those are so elegant!
Three pairs for a dollar
at the Accessory Hut.
Do you know how Sharon Williams
and her two so-called friends,
Mary and Joanne, are
getting to the dance?
Isn't their mom dropping
them off? That's what I heard.
Nope. Their mother's
giving them money for a cab.
No, no way, I don't
believe it. A cab?
She's probably just
making that up. Yeah.
No, it's true. Oh,
you know them.
We're gonna hear
about this forever.
I know how we could
make a statement
and show Sharon who's
really hot and independent.
[Both] What?
Forget about the cab.
We could take the
subway to the dance.
Subway? Into
Manhattan? At night?
What is more hot and independent
than an adventuresome woman?
Rudy, you are so right.
Can you imagine the look on
Sharon and her friends' faces
when we tell them how
we got to the dance? Yeah.
Yeah. Wait.
What about our
parents? What about 'em?
Yeah. Do you think
they'll let us go?
As long as we tell
them we're responsible
and know what we're doing,
I don't see why they wouldn't.
Yeah.
By the way, how do we get there?
Hey, Rudy, are you finished
with my gold hoop earrings?
Pam, Charmaine, come on in!
If you were gonna take
the subway tonight...
Into Manhattan.
Near LaGuardia Hall.
How would you get
there? Via the subway.
[Charmaine] That's
easy, girlfriend.
You just go to the
Clark Street station,
take the number 2 or
3 either to 241st Street
in the Bronx or 148th
Street in Harlem,
make sure you stay in
the middle of the cars,
transfer Fulton Street
station, go up the stairs,
and this is also the
Broadway-Nassau Street station.
Then you just take the "A" to
Washington Heights, the "C" to the Bronx,
and just get off at West 4th
Street, Washington Square.
Thank you, Charmaine.
Now, why would
we want to go there?
We don't. We're
going to the movies.
Talking about them,
Charmaine. Oh.
Rudy. There's gonna
be a dance there tonight.
And you think your dad's gonna let
you take the subway there at night?
Well, how old were you when
you first took the subway at night?
I was ten. And I was nine.
I was just tall for my age.
Wow. If our parents
would let us do that,
we'd be really mature by now.
I know, instead of being
dropped off like a bunch of kids.
Listen to that, they don't
want to be driven places.
Imagine that. I mean,
if my family had a car
and they had time
to drive me around,
honey, I would call people to come
out their house to come watch me leave.
Well, we want to
take the subway.
Instead of people
saying, "Who are they?"
they'd be saying,
"There they are!"
And we have to show them
that we know what we're doing.
So could you go over those
directions again, please?
Sure. You take the number 2 or
3 to 241st Street in the Bronx...
Hold on, wait, wait, wait.
Let me get a pencil and
pad so I won't miss a thing.
They gonna get lost.
[door closes] [Sondra] Hello!
Hello!
Hello! Hello!
How you doing,
honey? Good, good.
Whoa. No, no, no. Dr. Huxtable.
You remember...
Long, long, long time!
You're looking good,
Dr. Huxtable! Thank you very much.
Well, Tracy just
got into town today,
so we're going out
to dinner at Abbott's.
Oh, my goodness. Well,
bless you. Bless you.
We thought we'd stop
by here first and say hi.
Where's Mom? I wanted to return
this law book that I borrowed from her.
Mom is away at
Washington, D.C., pardon me,
lawyers' convention,
you see. But you know
you guys can join us. Come on.
Oh, no, no. We're celebrating.
Tracy just drove in from Oregon.
You're kidding. How
long did it take you?
Six weeks.
Six weeks? Well, you know,
they've upped the speed limit.
No, Dr. Huxtable, I
stopped to take photographs.
Yeah, Tracy's going
to be publishing a book.
Really? What's it about?
Well, I'm driving
cross-country... Yeah.
But I'm taking the back
roads, not the main highways,
photographing my impressions
of small-town America.
Photography. Was that
your major at Princeton?
Uh, no. It was architecture.
But, you see, one day I realized that
I was not enjoying what I was doing.
So I picked up my camera and I told
my parents that this is what I wanna do.
Are your parents...
How do they feel
about this career change
after they spent $140,000?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Dad, Tracy takes
very good photographs.
Yeah? All right,
well, good luck.
Good luck. Oh, Dad. Broccoli?
Steamed.
And chicken. Boiled.
Brown rice? Brown rice,
the only way you can do it.
Yes, indeed. Well, Dad, where's
the stuff that you're going to eat?
Hehehehe. That's it.
Tracy, every time my
mother goes out of town,
my dad gorges
himself on junk food.
I'm telling you, I
turned over a new leaf.
Well, Dad, you know, you turned
over a new leaf a couple times before,
but the problem was that the old leaf was
always right under there waiting for you.
Well, go ahead, sing something.
Oh, okay. The attire.
For going out. You
got it all together?
Yep, we're all ready.
Okay. And your
mother is going to pick
the three of you up here
and take you to the dance?
I'm asking you a question.
Yeah.
Okay. And your
mother is gonna pick
the three of you up at the dance
and drop Rudy off here.
That's the plan.
Or maybe we'll take the subway.
[tapping]
[continues tapping]
Nice try.
Nice try.
I have to give a lecture.
I know none of
you like lectures.
But Rudy is our last child.
And I knew from experience...
The other four... that when
the three of you came down,
in a line, there was
something tricky going on.
So then, you walk
off and you say,
"Or we'll take the subway."
See? Like, hoping
that maybe my brain
fell into one of
those steam pots.
Well, it didn't.
I heard subway.
Not car. I heard,
"Well, maybe we'll
take the subway."
Now, all I want to
know is... subway.
I mean, how are
you going to do that?
Oh, we'll buy some tokens.
And you, too, have humor.
I am asking how you
are going to knock me out,
tie me up, throw me
down in the cellar,
and the three of you take off on
the subway to go to this dance.
We'll be in high school
in only two years.
This changes the
subject, doesn't it?
We've gone to the subway
to now when you're graduating
and gonna be in high school.
What's that have to do
with tonight's subway?
See, all we have to do is take the
2 to the Bronx or the 3 to Harlem.
Then transfer to the "C" or "A"
to Bronx or Washington Heights.
And then get off at Washington
Square, West 4th Street.
Good. So you'll
keep that in mind
two years from now,
when you're in high school.
Okay? But, Dad...
But... No, no, no. Please
don't "But, Dad" me.
I've got three young ladies
supposed to have
somebody pick 'em up
and take 'em to... And now you all
are changing this thing around on me.
I need two parents, a volunteer
to ride the subway
train with you.
But, Dad, if a parent goes along,
it's the same thing as driving us there.
Could you clarify that?
Well, the point is we
want to go by ourselves.
Ah. Ah. Then the
answer's easy. No.
But...
Thank you very
much. ♪♪ [humming]
And that doesn't help either.
Get me in trouble.
Say, "Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead,"
right, and I'll be
popular with the kids,
and then the parents call up,
"Have you seen our children?
They're on the 11:00
news, you know?"
Here it is, salad,
spinach, mushrooms,
with a vinaigrette sauce and I've
mixed it all 'round. Go ahead, hit it.
[All] Salad?
Yes. The crunchy, green
stuff. You've all eaten it before.
Good for you. Nutrition.
Oh, okay, I get it. The
nutrients before the feast.
Right. All right.
So what's the second
course, Cousin Cliff?
Cookies!
No.
Chicken! Ooh.
Boiled. With the skin taken off.
Oh.
Well, I also have...
steamed broccoli.
You sure are serving a lot
of green food, Cousin Cliff.
To balance it out, I
have a carbohydrate.
French fries? Wrong.
Cookies! Wrong again.
Brown rice. Ta-da.
All right, hit it.
Come on, let's go.
[children chatter]
So, Cousin Pam, cousin
best friend Charmaine,
what are you doing tonight?
We're going to the movies.
On the subway?
Yes.
On the subway.
So, Cousin Pam, cousin
best friend Charmaine,
where is this movie theatre
that you are going to?
Well, I understand it's
right across the street
from the dance
that you're going to.
Um, what time does
this movie start?
7:30.
Isn't that a coincidence?
Our dance starts at 7:30.
And what time will this
movie be letting out?
9:30.
9:30, the same
time our dance ends.
Well, you know Dad won't let
us ride the subway alone at night.
We need a chaperone.
Since we're going the same
way, do you think that we could...
Ride with you there?
And bring you back later?
[All three] Yeah.
You're gonna have...
I already did.
She says it's okay.
And I guess... I did, too.
Go ahead.
[All] Yes!
Oh, Dr. Huxtable.
Hey. What are you doing?
Reading the paper,
catching up on the news.
Oh. Mm-hmm.
Can I read the newspaper, too?
Okay, I'll give you the funnies.
No, no, no. I want to
catch up on the news.
Okay. I'll give
you the front page.
That's the front
part of the paper.
That'll give you all the news.
Great. All right?
Perfect, thank you.
You're welcome.
Ahh. Boy, oh, boy.
What's the world coming to?
I never thought I'd
live to see the day.
You never thought you'd
live to see the day what, dear?
You have to wait
until I'm finished.
Boy, oh, boy.
Gimme this.
Boy, oh, boy, huh? Mm-hmm.
What... Boy, oh, boy!
Says here that Olivia Kendall
has to wash the dishes
and clean the stove
and do the kitchen floor.
Boy, oh, boy!
What?
Yes. Right... Gimme that paper.
It said right here
that Dr. Huxtable
has to give Olivia
600 puppies, plus...
800 bowls of ice
cream at 8:30 tonight.
Now, where am I gonna be
able to get all that by 8:30 tonight?
I don't know.
Look in your paper.
It has all the big news.
Ahh.
[TV Announcer] Coming up next, the
main event: the Freeman-Price bout.
Hey, Dad.
Oh, hi. Hi, honey.
How are you? Good. Great.
Okay. How was
dinner? It was great.
I had Tracy drop me off here.
You did? Mm-hmm.
Oh. Oh, good.
Yeah, so...
dinner was fine, and all
the children are gone now.
Olivia's upstairs, got
her all bedded down.
And, um, I'm thinking
about turning in myself.
So, um, you planning
on staying? Mm-hmm.
[doorbell rings]
Hi. Dr. Huxtable, here you go.
Um, buffalo wings,
extra sauce on the side.
One pizza and one
pint of coffee ice cream.
Mrs. Huxtable
must be out of town.
Looks like it's gonna
be a good fight tonight.
Olivia! This food
you ordered is here!
Thank you. Thank you.
Enjoy the fight, doctor.
Yeah, thank you.
They're not allowed
up here, you know,
and you are the first.
And so I want you to enjoy
this to the fullest, because...
[rings] I'm going to
enjoy you. Heh heh.
Hello?
Hi, sweetheart.
Ah ha ha.
And how are you? I'm fine.
Good. I owe you an apology.
This morning I doubted your commitment
to your diet, and that was wrong.
Yeah, well, listen, honey. Don't...
Don't make a big thing out of it,
don't wear yourself
out, you know? It's...
Just let bygones be bygones.
So how was your dinner?
Dinner? Yeah.
Oh, it was fantastic.
Just enjoyed it. You
know, the broccoli florettes,
they were like little brooms
sweeping out the arteries.
Aw. I'm glad you feel better.
You must be very,
very exhausted by now,
so get yourself some rest.
Well, I am... I am tired,
but I attended a most
interesting seminar today
on partnership assessment.
And do you know what
the most important element
in a successful partnership is?
Trust?
I love you. Good night.
Yes, I love you too, honey.
Good... Good night.
Okay.
Dirty, dirty,
dirty. Dirty, dirty.
Dirty, dirty, low-down,
no-good wife.
Dirty!
Able to look through
the telephone.
Ah, you're a
no-good, dirty, dirty...
See? Even God doesn't
want me to have it.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA