The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 7, Episode 1 - Same Time Next Year - full transcript
Cliff ships Vanessa to Lincoln University in Pennsylvania; Rudy has a "developmental" issue that keeps her from going to school.
[knock on door]
Come in.
Now, cut that out.
♪♪ [theme]
[cheering]
Fresh-squeezed
orange juice for my lady.
Thank you.
To celebrate
the most important
day of the year.
[together] The
first day of school.
Mmm...
We have survived yet
another summer. Yes.
Yes.
No more friends of our children
running through our house,
going into our
refrigerator, like locusts,
leaving nothing
for you or for me,
except a box of Arm and Hammer.
No more little children
hiding in fireplaces
breaking things and
then saying "I'm sorry.
I have no money."
No more, I tell you.
Pretty soon, this
will all be behind us.
Because they're getting out!
Yes. You and I
will be here to smell
our own house.
[all talking at once]
Yes!
Here they come!
Look at that!
And once again our children
are forced to leave the house,
whether they want to or not!
Everybody goes!
And look at this one here!
So enthused! So excited!
Who went to summer
school to graduate early
so she could go to
Lincoln University!
Yes! Get the rest
of the stuff. Hurry!
Everybody goes!
Ah, look at the
pace of this one!
The slower one,
but still has to go!
[both laughing]
Rudy, I hope you packed
your summer clothes
away last night.
Mom, I have enough on my mind.
I'm starting sixth grade.
Well, now, what
is wrong with her?
There's nothing wrong, Clair!
They... They've got a union.
They say, "We look like
this opening day of school,
"Maybe the parents will
go down to the schools
"and cancel the school out,
and we won't have to
go to school anymore!"
But we know that
we're tired of 'em!
Well, I'm ready.
Yes! Our daughter,
off to Lincoln University!
♪ Ta da, get it off, get it up ♪
♪ There ya go, Vanessa ♪
♪ There ya go, bam, bam ♪
♪ There ya go, Vanessa ♪
Mom, I just got
finished saying good-bye
to Rudy, and Denise, and Olivia.
Isn't this sad, me going away?
Yeah!
Dad! All the way
to Pennsylvania.
She's afraid she's
going to be lonely, Cliff.
We gave you a list
of relatives this long.
You can call people
and just say "I'm lonely.
Please cook me something."
Your cousin Thorne
Hill loves to cook!
We sent him a wok for Christmas.
You love Chinese food!
He's got a wok. He loves
to cook Chinese food.
Call him up, say
"Cousin Thorne Hill!
"Get out the wok!"
[car horn]
That's Beth.
Yes! We're coming with the bags!
Mom, I didn't even get a chance
to say good-bye to Theo.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Theo was supposed to
get back from Europe today.
I know he's gonna call you
as soon as he gets a chance.
Listen, I know you're a little
nervous about leaving home,
but you're gonna do
just fine at Lincoln.
You think so?
Honey! I know it.
I'm gonna miss you, Mom.
I'm gonna miss you, too.
Hey! College girl,
I can't believe it.
Have a good time. Thank you.
Here we go. Listen. The
car's running out of gas.
All right! I'm going!
Yeah. Now, do you
need any money?
No.
All right, take
this just in case.
Take that just in case.
All right. Here we go. Bye!
Bye, Vanessa.
[door closes]
All right... Hey! You!
Number 2! Next college person!
Medgar Evers! Out the door!
Yes! Absolutely. I'm
looking forward to it.
No! You're not looking
forward anymore!
We're walking forward!
Dad.
I've been doing some thinking.
Oh, please don't think, dear.
I don't think I can get
to Medgar Evers today.
Why not?
Oh, it's Olivia.
Olivia.
Today is her first day
of preschool, you know?
I mean, remember my
first day? Mom? Dad?
You guys were with
me the whole day.
I've given this
a lot of thought,
and I know that
if I drop her off,
she's gonna cry from
the moment I leave
until I come back and get her.
I mean, this...
This could scar her
for the rest of her life.
Denise?
Just point me in the
direction of that school,
and I am out of here!
Excuse me, Miss I'm-Out-Of-Here.
Do you think you have
time for some breakfast?
Can I have breakfast
at my school?
No. We still have ten minutes.
You're gonna eat in the kitchen.
Okay, but let's get a move-on.
Okay, so I was wrong. Mm-hmm.
So she doesn't need me.
She could probably go out
and get a job and an apartment.
Well, next time, tell
her to take you with her.
Ah ha ha.
[Cliff] All right!
Let's move it, Mopey!
Dad, can you please
give me a chance
to get my stuff
together? Please?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I lost my head.
She's acting awfully
funny this morning.
Oh, well, she's
starting sixth grade.
She's just nervous.
Right. All ready
for preschool, huh?
Yeah! Why are you so
excited about preschool?
Well, you read, and you write,
and you get smart!
But you also have some fun.
You play games. Huh?
Sometimes. But not
little kids' games anymore.
Big people's games.
Like what?
Poker!
You play poker in preschool?
Yeah, that's right.
[laughing]
And you must think
that this is a lot of fun.
It is, except for one thing.
What's that? Naps.
Naps? What's wrong with naps?
Naps are for old people.
I'm young, and I'm up.
You have to understand.
Naps are good
and... and... and
healthy for you.
Not if you're not sleepy.
You see, Dr. Huxtable,
they say close your
eyes and go to sleep.
Right.
I close my eyes,
and I lay there,
and nothing happens.
Or when I finally
do fall asleep,
they wake me up again.
I see.
Dad? Yeah.
Rudy says she's
not going to school.
Something about her glands.
She doesn't need
glands to go to school.
She needs books.
Hurry up and finish your cereal.
Okay. Here we go.
Dad, I don't feel
so good. Really?
I don't think I can
go to school today.
Yeah, what's the
matter? My glands.
Well, your glands
don't feel swollen, hon.
That's the problem. Yeah? Why?
I think they shrunk. Right.
Just say ah. Ah.
I mean, it looks okay, okay?
I knew it.
They shrunk so much
now, they're gone.
You know what's good
for shrunken, gone glands?
Get up and go to school.
Come on. Dad, there's
nothing wrong with my glands.
I have an even bigger problem.
Well, you want to talk about it?
This is woman stuff. I think
I need Mom for this one.
I'm a gynocologist. You
wanna talk to a lawyer.
Look. Sometimes, you know,
if there's something difficult
that a person
can't really get out,
if they whisper it,
um, they feel a little better.
So if we just keep it
between the two of us,
nobody else is gonna know.
All right. Yeah.
All right. Now
tell me what it is.
Oh, honey, don't
worry about that.
Some girls develop
them later than others.
But what if I don't
develop them at all?
But y... But you will!
When? Uh, when?
Well, I don't... I don't know.
But, Dad, I waited
all summer for them.
Yeah, well...
You see, some... some... some
people don't get summer ones.
They... They get, uh...
They get the ones, uh...
And... and I have heard
that the fall ones
are much better.
But, Dad, look at me. Uh-huh.
I'm a sixth grader in
a fifth grader's body.
Look, there's something
that perhaps the
two of us can share.
There was a boy in our class...
Sixth grade, had a mustache.
And man, I just
admired that so much.
I wanted a mustache.
And my little bald upper lip
was just shining out there.
And this guy had a
comb. He would comb it.
And then sometimes
he would trim it
till it was real thin, you know?
Them sometimes, he'd let it go,
and he'd drink milk, and it
was still around his mouth.
My milk fell all down in
my mouth sometimes.
Then I developed something
that this guy with the
mustache didn't have
and all the others didn't have.
What?
One day, I did an imitation
of our vice-principal,
Mrs. Mars.
And all the girls loved it.
And it was something that that
guy couldn't do with the mustache.
Yeah. I bet... Mrs.
Mars, she talked like this:
[deep growl] "Huxtable."
"Huxtable... [giggling]
"I want you to put
on your thinking cap."
Dad, you're funny.
Yeah! Well, thank you!
So you see, the two of us,
we have something in common.
But, Dad, I don't
want a mustache.
Somehow, you missed the point.
No, my point is it doesn't
make any difference.
You see, what it is
is your personality.
Now, I tell you... and not
because I'm your father...
But when you smile,
I mean, you can light up a room.
You have a great
brain, great smile.
Look! The smile makes me smile.
I was depressed
until you smiled.
See? And you go
outside, and you smile,
and the bus goes by,
I bet you the bus will smile.
[imitates engine]
Yeah, look at you.
[as Mrs. Mars]
Come on. Let's go.
[as Mrs. Mars] Yes, sir.
There you go. Here we go.
All right. Here we go.
Get your stuff. Okay.
And tell it like it is.
Tell it like it is. All right.
All right. Yeah. Out the door.
Hut 1, 2, 3, 4.
[Cliff and Rudy muttering,
still as Mrs. Mars]
Ah, what are you doing?
Ah, what are you doing?
I want you to get
your homework done.
I want you to get
your homework done.
Ah, tell it like it
is. Tell it like it is.
Now, what is the matter, Rudy?
Well, she's 11 going on 12,
hoping for 12 right now,
if you know what I mean.
Oh... [doorbell rings]
All right! Hit it!
Hut now! Score that! Hey!
Hi, Margie. Hi, Rudy.
Did you have a good summer?
Uh, sorry, Margie.
I don't think I'm gonna
be going to school today.
Uh, my glands are bothering me.
Well, what are we going to do?
Sweetheart, we've
been through this before
with Sondra, Denise and Vanessa.
So what did we do?
That was so long ago, I forgot.
Well, dear, you ought to
write these things down
so you know what to do.
[doorbell rings]
Amy, hello! Hi, Mrs. Huxtable.
Listen, sweetheart. Rudy is
upstairs in her room, but I...
Rudy called. There's an
emergency. She's expecting me.
Okay.
[door opens]
Amy, did you bring
it? Here. This is it.
One of the great medical
discoveries of the 20th Century.
"Lady Rondelle's Cream
for Bust Enhancement.
Guaranteed results in 48
hours or your money back."
You know it works when they say
they'll give you
your money back.
And here's proof.
Before and after.
Whoa!
You probably won't
look like that in two days.
How long have you been using it?
I got it in the mail yesterday.
It's only been 24 hours, but I
can feel it kicking in already.
What do you think
they're doing up there?
Well, I would like to think
that Amy is convincing
Rudy to go to school.
Bye, Dr. and Mrs. Huxtable.
The emergency's over.
Well, Amy, thank you so much for
stopping by on your way to school.
You're welcome.
Mom, Dad, can I
ask you guys a favor?
Yeah, Rudy. What is it?
Do you mind if I
don't go to school
for 48 hours?
Rudy, you have to go
to school today... now.
Please, Mom!
Just till Wednesday.
What is so important
about Wednesday?
On Wednesday, all
my troubles will be over.
[sigh] All right, young
lady. Sit down here.
Come on. Now,
what is this about?
Promise you won't laugh?
We are not going
to laugh. What is it?
This.
"Lady Rondelle's Cream
for Bust Enhancement"?
In 48 hours, I'll be a woman.
Rudy, that is not
possible, honey.
Development is a
natural biological process.
I knew you wouldn't
want me to use it.
Maybe I shouldn't
have done that.
It might make my nose grow.
You stop.
I... I'm a doctor, honey.
Trust me, there's
nothing in here
that is going to
enhance anything.
You could get the same results
putting mayonnaise
on your chest.
You're just saying that
because you want me
to be a little girl forever.
But I'm not a
little girl anymore.
And I don't want to go to
school until Wednesday!
Rudy?
Yes?
Rudy.
Honey, nothing is gonna
change about you in two days.
You get what you're
gonna get when you get it.
Mom, can't we just wait and see?
Aw, baby, I know what
you're going through.
How could you?
You got them already.
But I wasn't born with them.
I went through the same
thing, and so did your sisters.
You should see some of the stuff
that has come
through this house.
There was Blossom's
Bust Booster.
Sondra brought that one.
Uh, Denise showed up
with Dr. Jim's Growth Capsules.
And Vanessa had
the best of all...
Bailey's Bust-o-matic.
The thing looked like two
plungers on a power cord.
And do you know that
that fool was getting ready
to plug it into the wall
and shock her chest?
But, Mom, the stuff
in the jar really works,
or they'll give you
your money back.
You better get your
money back right away
because you heard what
your father said. It's junk.
But I can't go to
school looking like this.
All the boys will laugh at me.
They're gonna laugh
at you if you get up.
They're gonna laugh at you if
you don't, and you know why?
Because that's how
boys are at this age, baby.
They're just dumb.
And that's not your
problem. It's theirs.
It is? Yes.
So now, what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna... Are
you gonna go to school,
or do I have to write a
note to your principal saying,
"Please excuse Rudith Lillian
Huxtable from school today.
She's waiting for
her breasts to arrive"?
[laughing] Well?
I guess this is what they mean
when they say
growing up's tough.
I guess.
[Clair] Cliff! Yo!
Ta-da!
Hasn't this been a nice day?
Oh, ever since Rudy left
for school this morning,
it's been heavenly.
And aren't you happy
you decided to
work at home today?
Thank you very
much. Yes, indeed.
It's official. Mm-hmm.
We have taken the house back.
Mmm, yes.
Mmm, would you like some tea?
You know I don't want any tea.
[both] Mmm.
That's the first
time in a long time
I've heard you go "Mmm."
[chuckling]
[chuckling]
[both] Mmm.
Mom! Dad!
Oh, it's so good to be home!
Hey.
Hey. How you doing?
Oh, you guys, I just
saw all of Europe
in 17 days.
Everything was a blur.
Well, what did you see?
We saw...
Ah. We saw Westminster Abbey,
we saw the Louvre, we saw
the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
The bus let us off for that one.
Everybody got out and
said "Oh, it really leans."
And the tour guide said,
"Okay, time to get back
on the bus, and we're off."
We drove through Rome.
I saw the Colosseum.
It was on the left of us.
I missed what was on the right.
We drove through
Germany that night.
I saw the world's
largest cuckoo clock.
Everybody said,
"Wow, that's a big clock."
Then the tour guide said,
"Okay, it's time to
get back on the bus."
[sigh] Oh, but I
got you guys a gift.
Oh, really?
Here you go. Oh, thank you.
Matching wristwatches.
Thank you.
Now, those have
genuine Swiss movement.
Really?
Well, son, they're
kind of light.
That's because the
parts aren't inside.
The guy I bought
those from is smart.
They can't charge
duty for just the case,
so what he does is mail
the insides a little bit later.
Well, that's, um...
That's very
thoughtful of you, son.
You look tired. And confused.
Well, I am, but I'm also hungry.
And after all those
heavy, rich sauces,
I just want some
plain American food.
Jersey corn, Wisconsin cheese,
Idaho potatoes, Florida oranges.
God bless America.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Rudy, how was your
first day at school?
Fine. Wait.
Come back here, please.
How was your
first day of school?
[hi-pitched voice] "Fine."
Fine? That's all
you can say is fine?
Yeah. You know,
teachers, students,
first day of school, books.
This morning, we
weren't going to school
because there was a disaster.
What happened?
It's like what Mom said.
You get what you
get when you get it,
and a lot of us
haven't got 'em yet.
♪♪ [theme]
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
Come in.
Now, cut that out.
♪♪ [theme]
[cheering]
Fresh-squeezed
orange juice for my lady.
Thank you.
To celebrate
the most important
day of the year.
[together] The
first day of school.
Mmm...
We have survived yet
another summer. Yes.
Yes.
No more friends of our children
running through our house,
going into our
refrigerator, like locusts,
leaving nothing
for you or for me,
except a box of Arm and Hammer.
No more little children
hiding in fireplaces
breaking things and
then saying "I'm sorry.
I have no money."
No more, I tell you.
Pretty soon, this
will all be behind us.
Because they're getting out!
Yes. You and I
will be here to smell
our own house.
[all talking at once]
Yes!
Here they come!
Look at that!
And once again our children
are forced to leave the house,
whether they want to or not!
Everybody goes!
And look at this one here!
So enthused! So excited!
Who went to summer
school to graduate early
so she could go to
Lincoln University!
Yes! Get the rest
of the stuff. Hurry!
Everybody goes!
Ah, look at the
pace of this one!
The slower one,
but still has to go!
[both laughing]
Rudy, I hope you packed
your summer clothes
away last night.
Mom, I have enough on my mind.
I'm starting sixth grade.
Well, now, what
is wrong with her?
There's nothing wrong, Clair!
They... They've got a union.
They say, "We look like
this opening day of school,
"Maybe the parents will
go down to the schools
"and cancel the school out,
and we won't have to
go to school anymore!"
But we know that
we're tired of 'em!
Well, I'm ready.
Yes! Our daughter,
off to Lincoln University!
♪ Ta da, get it off, get it up ♪
♪ There ya go, Vanessa ♪
♪ There ya go, bam, bam ♪
♪ There ya go, Vanessa ♪
Mom, I just got
finished saying good-bye
to Rudy, and Denise, and Olivia.
Isn't this sad, me going away?
Yeah!
Dad! All the way
to Pennsylvania.
She's afraid she's
going to be lonely, Cliff.
We gave you a list
of relatives this long.
You can call people
and just say "I'm lonely.
Please cook me something."
Your cousin Thorne
Hill loves to cook!
We sent him a wok for Christmas.
You love Chinese food!
He's got a wok. He loves
to cook Chinese food.
Call him up, say
"Cousin Thorne Hill!
"Get out the wok!"
[car horn]
That's Beth.
Yes! We're coming with the bags!
Mom, I didn't even get a chance
to say good-bye to Theo.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Theo was supposed to
get back from Europe today.
I know he's gonna call you
as soon as he gets a chance.
Listen, I know you're a little
nervous about leaving home,
but you're gonna do
just fine at Lincoln.
You think so?
Honey! I know it.
I'm gonna miss you, Mom.
I'm gonna miss you, too.
Hey! College girl,
I can't believe it.
Have a good time. Thank you.
Here we go. Listen. The
car's running out of gas.
All right! I'm going!
Yeah. Now, do you
need any money?
No.
All right, take
this just in case.
Take that just in case.
All right. Here we go. Bye!
Bye, Vanessa.
[door closes]
All right... Hey! You!
Number 2! Next college person!
Medgar Evers! Out the door!
Yes! Absolutely. I'm
looking forward to it.
No! You're not looking
forward anymore!
We're walking forward!
Dad.
I've been doing some thinking.
Oh, please don't think, dear.
I don't think I can get
to Medgar Evers today.
Why not?
Oh, it's Olivia.
Olivia.
Today is her first day
of preschool, you know?
I mean, remember my
first day? Mom? Dad?
You guys were with
me the whole day.
I've given this
a lot of thought,
and I know that
if I drop her off,
she's gonna cry from
the moment I leave
until I come back and get her.
I mean, this...
This could scar her
for the rest of her life.
Denise?
Just point me in the
direction of that school,
and I am out of here!
Excuse me, Miss I'm-Out-Of-Here.
Do you think you have
time for some breakfast?
Can I have breakfast
at my school?
No. We still have ten minutes.
You're gonna eat in the kitchen.
Okay, but let's get a move-on.
Okay, so I was wrong. Mm-hmm.
So she doesn't need me.
She could probably go out
and get a job and an apartment.
Well, next time, tell
her to take you with her.
Ah ha ha.
[Cliff] All right!
Let's move it, Mopey!
Dad, can you please
give me a chance
to get my stuff
together? Please?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I lost my head.
She's acting awfully
funny this morning.
Oh, well, she's
starting sixth grade.
She's just nervous.
Right. All ready
for preschool, huh?
Yeah! Why are you so
excited about preschool?
Well, you read, and you write,
and you get smart!
But you also have some fun.
You play games. Huh?
Sometimes. But not
little kids' games anymore.
Big people's games.
Like what?
Poker!
You play poker in preschool?
Yeah, that's right.
[laughing]
And you must think
that this is a lot of fun.
It is, except for one thing.
What's that? Naps.
Naps? What's wrong with naps?
Naps are for old people.
I'm young, and I'm up.
You have to understand.
Naps are good
and... and... and
healthy for you.
Not if you're not sleepy.
You see, Dr. Huxtable,
they say close your
eyes and go to sleep.
Right.
I close my eyes,
and I lay there,
and nothing happens.
Or when I finally
do fall asleep,
they wake me up again.
I see.
Dad? Yeah.
Rudy says she's
not going to school.
Something about her glands.
She doesn't need
glands to go to school.
She needs books.
Hurry up and finish your cereal.
Okay. Here we go.
Dad, I don't feel
so good. Really?
I don't think I can
go to school today.
Yeah, what's the
matter? My glands.
Well, your glands
don't feel swollen, hon.
That's the problem. Yeah? Why?
I think they shrunk. Right.
Just say ah. Ah.
I mean, it looks okay, okay?
I knew it.
They shrunk so much
now, they're gone.
You know what's good
for shrunken, gone glands?
Get up and go to school.
Come on. Dad, there's
nothing wrong with my glands.
I have an even bigger problem.
Well, you want to talk about it?
This is woman stuff. I think
I need Mom for this one.
I'm a gynocologist. You
wanna talk to a lawyer.
Look. Sometimes, you know,
if there's something difficult
that a person
can't really get out,
if they whisper it,
um, they feel a little better.
So if we just keep it
between the two of us,
nobody else is gonna know.
All right. Yeah.
All right. Now
tell me what it is.
Oh, honey, don't
worry about that.
Some girls develop
them later than others.
But what if I don't
develop them at all?
But y... But you will!
When? Uh, when?
Well, I don't... I don't know.
But, Dad, I waited
all summer for them.
Yeah, well...
You see, some... some... some
people don't get summer ones.
They... They get, uh...
They get the ones, uh...
And... and I have heard
that the fall ones
are much better.
But, Dad, look at me. Uh-huh.
I'm a sixth grader in
a fifth grader's body.
Look, there's something
that perhaps the
two of us can share.
There was a boy in our class...
Sixth grade, had a mustache.
And man, I just
admired that so much.
I wanted a mustache.
And my little bald upper lip
was just shining out there.
And this guy had a
comb. He would comb it.
And then sometimes
he would trim it
till it was real thin, you know?
Them sometimes, he'd let it go,
and he'd drink milk, and it
was still around his mouth.
My milk fell all down in
my mouth sometimes.
Then I developed something
that this guy with the
mustache didn't have
and all the others didn't have.
What?
One day, I did an imitation
of our vice-principal,
Mrs. Mars.
And all the girls loved it.
And it was something that that
guy couldn't do with the mustache.
Yeah. I bet... Mrs.
Mars, she talked like this:
[deep growl] "Huxtable."
"Huxtable... [giggling]
"I want you to put
on your thinking cap."
Dad, you're funny.
Yeah! Well, thank you!
So you see, the two of us,
we have something in common.
But, Dad, I don't
want a mustache.
Somehow, you missed the point.
No, my point is it doesn't
make any difference.
You see, what it is
is your personality.
Now, I tell you... and not
because I'm your father...
But when you smile,
I mean, you can light up a room.
You have a great
brain, great smile.
Look! The smile makes me smile.
I was depressed
until you smiled.
See? And you go
outside, and you smile,
and the bus goes by,
I bet you the bus will smile.
[imitates engine]
Yeah, look at you.
[as Mrs. Mars]
Come on. Let's go.
[as Mrs. Mars] Yes, sir.
There you go. Here we go.
All right. Here we go.
Get your stuff. Okay.
And tell it like it is.
Tell it like it is. All right.
All right. Yeah. Out the door.
Hut 1, 2, 3, 4.
[Cliff and Rudy muttering,
still as Mrs. Mars]
Ah, what are you doing?
Ah, what are you doing?
I want you to get
your homework done.
I want you to get
your homework done.
Ah, tell it like it
is. Tell it like it is.
Now, what is the matter, Rudy?
Well, she's 11 going on 12,
hoping for 12 right now,
if you know what I mean.
Oh... [doorbell rings]
All right! Hit it!
Hut now! Score that! Hey!
Hi, Margie. Hi, Rudy.
Did you have a good summer?
Uh, sorry, Margie.
I don't think I'm gonna
be going to school today.
Uh, my glands are bothering me.
Well, what are we going to do?
Sweetheart, we've
been through this before
with Sondra, Denise and Vanessa.
So what did we do?
That was so long ago, I forgot.
Well, dear, you ought to
write these things down
so you know what to do.
[doorbell rings]
Amy, hello! Hi, Mrs. Huxtable.
Listen, sweetheart. Rudy is
upstairs in her room, but I...
Rudy called. There's an
emergency. She's expecting me.
Okay.
[door opens]
Amy, did you bring
it? Here. This is it.
One of the great medical
discoveries of the 20th Century.
"Lady Rondelle's Cream
for Bust Enhancement.
Guaranteed results in 48
hours or your money back."
You know it works when they say
they'll give you
your money back.
And here's proof.
Before and after.
Whoa!
You probably won't
look like that in two days.
How long have you been using it?
I got it in the mail yesterday.
It's only been 24 hours, but I
can feel it kicking in already.
What do you think
they're doing up there?
Well, I would like to think
that Amy is convincing
Rudy to go to school.
Bye, Dr. and Mrs. Huxtable.
The emergency's over.
Well, Amy, thank you so much for
stopping by on your way to school.
You're welcome.
Mom, Dad, can I
ask you guys a favor?
Yeah, Rudy. What is it?
Do you mind if I
don't go to school
for 48 hours?
Rudy, you have to go
to school today... now.
Please, Mom!
Just till Wednesday.
What is so important
about Wednesday?
On Wednesday, all
my troubles will be over.
[sigh] All right, young
lady. Sit down here.
Come on. Now,
what is this about?
Promise you won't laugh?
We are not going
to laugh. What is it?
This.
"Lady Rondelle's Cream
for Bust Enhancement"?
In 48 hours, I'll be a woman.
Rudy, that is not
possible, honey.
Development is a
natural biological process.
I knew you wouldn't
want me to use it.
Maybe I shouldn't
have done that.
It might make my nose grow.
You stop.
I... I'm a doctor, honey.
Trust me, there's
nothing in here
that is going to
enhance anything.
You could get the same results
putting mayonnaise
on your chest.
You're just saying that
because you want me
to be a little girl forever.
But I'm not a
little girl anymore.
And I don't want to go to
school until Wednesday!
Rudy?
Yes?
Rudy.
Honey, nothing is gonna
change about you in two days.
You get what you're
gonna get when you get it.
Mom, can't we just wait and see?
Aw, baby, I know what
you're going through.
How could you?
You got them already.
But I wasn't born with them.
I went through the same
thing, and so did your sisters.
You should see some of the stuff
that has come
through this house.
There was Blossom's
Bust Booster.
Sondra brought that one.
Uh, Denise showed up
with Dr. Jim's Growth Capsules.
And Vanessa had
the best of all...
Bailey's Bust-o-matic.
The thing looked like two
plungers on a power cord.
And do you know that
that fool was getting ready
to plug it into the wall
and shock her chest?
But, Mom, the stuff
in the jar really works,
or they'll give you
your money back.
You better get your
money back right away
because you heard what
your father said. It's junk.
But I can't go to
school looking like this.
All the boys will laugh at me.
They're gonna laugh
at you if you get up.
They're gonna laugh at you if
you don't, and you know why?
Because that's how
boys are at this age, baby.
They're just dumb.
And that's not your
problem. It's theirs.
It is? Yes.
So now, what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna... Are
you gonna go to school,
or do I have to write a
note to your principal saying,
"Please excuse Rudith Lillian
Huxtable from school today.
She's waiting for
her breasts to arrive"?
[laughing] Well?
I guess this is what they mean
when they say
growing up's tough.
I guess.
[Clair] Cliff! Yo!
Ta-da!
Hasn't this been a nice day?
Oh, ever since Rudy left
for school this morning,
it's been heavenly.
And aren't you happy
you decided to
work at home today?
Thank you very
much. Yes, indeed.
It's official. Mm-hmm.
We have taken the house back.
Mmm, yes.
Mmm, would you like some tea?
You know I don't want any tea.
[both] Mmm.
That's the first
time in a long time
I've heard you go "Mmm."
[chuckling]
[chuckling]
[both] Mmm.
Mom! Dad!
Oh, it's so good to be home!
Hey.
Hey. How you doing?
Oh, you guys, I just
saw all of Europe
in 17 days.
Everything was a blur.
Well, what did you see?
We saw...
Ah. We saw Westminster Abbey,
we saw the Louvre, we saw
the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
The bus let us off for that one.
Everybody got out and
said "Oh, it really leans."
And the tour guide said,
"Okay, time to get back
on the bus, and we're off."
We drove through Rome.
I saw the Colosseum.
It was on the left of us.
I missed what was on the right.
We drove through
Germany that night.
I saw the world's
largest cuckoo clock.
Everybody said,
"Wow, that's a big clock."
Then the tour guide said,
"Okay, it's time to
get back on the bus."
[sigh] Oh, but I
got you guys a gift.
Oh, really?
Here you go. Oh, thank you.
Matching wristwatches.
Thank you.
Now, those have
genuine Swiss movement.
Really?
Well, son, they're
kind of light.
That's because the
parts aren't inside.
The guy I bought
those from is smart.
They can't charge
duty for just the case,
so what he does is mail
the insides a little bit later.
Well, that's, um...
That's very
thoughtful of you, son.
You look tired. And confused.
Well, I am, but I'm also hungry.
And after all those
heavy, rich sauces,
I just want some
plain American food.
Jersey corn, Wisconsin cheese,
Idaho potatoes, Florida oranges.
God bless America.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Rudy, how was your
first day at school?
Fine. Wait.
Come back here, please.
How was your
first day of school?
[hi-pitched voice] "Fine."
Fine? That's all
you can say is fine?
Yeah. You know,
teachers, students,
first day of school, books.
This morning, we
weren't going to school
because there was a disaster.
What happened?
It's like what Mom said.
You get what you
get when you get it,
and a lot of us
haven't got 'em yet.
♪♪ [theme]
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA