The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 6, Episode 22 - What It's All About - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

This is the best elevator
music I've ever heard.

- Denise, is Mom home yet?
- No.

Well, the minute she
gets in, let me know,

because I have something
really important to ask her.

Well, Vanessa, I don't think you
should bother her when she gets home.

She's had hardly any sleep the last
few nights getting ready for that trial.

I know, Denise, but it's really
important that I talk to her.

Well, it's more
important that I talk to her.

I need her to read this
essay that I've written

for my application to the
University of Rhode Island.



This affects my life
very deeply, Vanessa.

Well, what I have to ask Mom
affects my life just as deeply.

What do you have to ask Mom?

I want to know if
I can borrow $10,

so I can buy some new earrings.

That affects your
life very deeply?

Yes.

I want to wear them to
a party tomorrow night,

and Donny Pearson's
going to be there.

Come on, Denise,
if he notices me,

he could fall in love with me,

we could get married and live
together for the next 50 years.

You're only going to be in
college for the next three years,

and you're probably
going to drop out anyway.



Vanessa, thanks a lot.

How selfish can you be? Come on.

This affects my
whole family's life.

All right.

You can talk to Mom first.

But I'm asking her about the
$10 as soon as you're finished.

Fine. Go ahead.

Mom!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Can you please read my essay I
wrote for the University of Rhode Island?

Honey, I have been on my feet in
a courtroom for the past ten hours,

I have not slept in days,

I'm really not in any condition
to read a thing right now.

Oh, well, how about
I read it to you?

What if you read it to your dad?

Oh, Mom, I can't on this one.

This is about how women's roles
have changed in the past 20 years.

I don't know, I just feel I haven't
captured what it is I want to say.

Can you read it, please?

It's really important.

Okay.

Thanks.

The other way, Mom.

Honey, I'm sorry.

Words are swimming
all over the page.

Bring it to me tomorrow.

All right, first thing
in the morning?

First thing.

Right now I just need
some peace and quiet, okay?

Okay, peace and quiet.

Denise, are you finished?

No, I didn't ask her, she
wants to be left alone.

I know, but I
need to talk to her.

Well, you're not going
to do it now, Vanessa.

You can't tell me what to do.

What are you, Mom's guardian?

Wait, Vanessa. Look at her.

She is a wreck, she
needs to be left alone.

You can't tell me
to leave Mom alone.

Only Mom can tell me to
leave Mom alone. Mom?

Leave me alone!

Child, I'm working on the
hardest case of my career.

Now I just asked for 30
minutes of peace and quiet.

I'll accept 20, and if you've
understood, please nod.

Thank you.

Now you can leave.

Silently!

I told you. You're so selfish.

The stupid essay...

I'm tired of
everybody telling me...

Mom!

[door slamming]

I'm so glad you're home.

Check it out.

I found this great
apartment in the city.

It's cheap, it's in
a great location,

and guess what?

It's already furnished.

Now all you have to
do is sign the lease.

Here you go.

Does it ever occur
to anyone around here

that I might have
needs of my own?

All I get is a barrage of demands
from some useless children,

who couldn't care less
about what's happening to me.

I can't even get a "Hello,
Mom, how are you today?

"How did your day go?"

No, all I get is, "Mom, I want.

"Mom, I found.

Mom, all you have to do is."

There are days like today when
the selfishness is just too much!

Do you understand?

Yes, Mom.

But they want you to
sign right down here.

I'll sign it tomorrow.

No, see, you don't
understand, Mom.

I've got to give this to the
landlord by 10:00 in the morning.

That means I'd have
to get up at 8:00,

come all the way over
here on the subway,

get you to sign and then
take it back to school.

Come on, that's two hours
that's wasted out of my day,

when you could just sign
it here in four seconds.

Theo, you're not supposed to
sign a lease without reading it.

Mom, I read it,
it's okay, it's cool.

Give me that pen.

Give me this thing
just to get you away,

and leave me be.

Aw, thanks.

I'm going to get something
to eat, but don't get up.

You need your rest.

I'm just grateful
you signed this.

Theo?

Theo!

What did I sign?

Theo!

Theo, what did I sign?

The lease to my apartment.

Thanks.

Theo, I'm not just
your mother, honey,

I'm an attorney.

I signed a lease, I
didn't even read it.

Mom, don't worry about it.

I read it. It's cool.

Give me this thing.

You look awful, are
you sure you can do this?

Boy!

I read these things in my sleep.

But you don't have to.

The landlord said it's almost
like a standard agreement.

Almost like a
standard agreement?

Yeah.

Did you see clause #13
printed here on the back?

They print on the back, too?

Yes, they do.

It says here that if tenant
does not maintain furniture

in an acceptable condition,

he will forfeit the
$2,000 security deposit,

and pay a penalty equal
to the security deposit.

No problem.

I'll take care of the furniture.

That brings me to
clause six on the front,

which you obviously missed, too,

which says, "On Election Day,

"the landlord may remove all
furniture from the tenant's apartment

"and place it in the lobby,

which will be turned
into a polling place."

People who are voting are
going to be using my furniture?

Hundreds of them.

And if they get one
little scratch on it,

you are going to forfeit
a $2,000 security deposit.

Excuse me.

You're going to forfeit my
$2,000 security deposit,

and you are not giving the
landlord this until I talk to him.

But, Mom, you're going to get the landlord
angry by grilling him with questions.

I could lose this apartment.

This is a nice apartment.

It's the only apartment I found
with an automatic dishwasher.

Use paper plates!

Mom.

Hi, Rudy.

You look awful.

Yeah, I know.

You know that field trip I'm
supposed to go on in three weeks?

Yes.

I need you to fill this out.

Here.

Sweetheart, let's deal
with that tomorrow, okay?

But I need you to
fill it out right away.

The field trip is three
weeks away, Rudy.

Why do I have to
deal with this today?

Because if I hand it in early,

I can pick who I want
to sit next to on the bus.

Well I am certainly not
going to inconvenience myself,

just so you can sit next to one
of your little raggedy friends.

Mom, are you in a bad mood?

Yes, I'm in a bad mood.

What of it?

Am I not supposed to be
in a bad mood sometime,

just because I'm a parent?

You children have a bad
mood anytime you think about it.

I have a bad mood one day,

everybody's going to
throw that in my face?

I'll come back later.

You most certainly will not

come back later being
selfish all over again.

Take that thing to your father
and have him fill it out for you.

I did.

He told me to come to you.

Oh, he did, did he?

Well, he sure did
steer you wrong.

I'm not filling that thing out
until I get good and ready.

Cliff!

Can you come in here, please?

Okay.

I wish someone would tell
me the right person to go to.

I don't know if I'm
coming or going.

My wife is here!

I'm a happy man.

Ha ha!

There you go!

Well, you don't look so good.

Why did you send Rudy to me

with that form to fill out?

You could have done that.

Why didn't you take
care of that yourself?

I think when our third
child was going to school,

I was told by you not to sign any
form that a child brings into this house.

Now that is a low trick.

You take something I
said and use it against me.

Did you lose the case, dear?

Oh, I wish I had lost it.

At least the thing
would be over with.

At the end of the
day, the judge decides,

he needs to hear more
testimony and see more evidence.

That means more work for me.

Well, you'll get to
rest this weekend.

Not in this house.

Ask people for some
peace and quiet,

all you get is
aggravation and noise.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Ah, hi, Sondra.

Yeah, she's here...
What do you want?

No, I don't think so, honey.

I think this is a bad...

Sweetie, I'll talk to Sondra.

Just remember what I said.

Hi, Sondra.

Oh, honey, thank you
for asking me how I am.

You are?

You and Elvin are
going to go see that play?

Oh, yeah, that's a
good one. I read about it.

Yeah, but... What?

Now look!

I've been in the
courtroom all day,

and I've not slept for nights,

and the last thing I need is to
baby-sit two little yelling twins!

No, I will not
baby-sit those twins!

When they ask how you're
doing, they don't mean it.

I told you it was
not a good time.

Even if they ask
you how you doing,

they got something
up their sleeves.

They're not sincere people.

Yes, I'm going to have
a bad day all week.

Mess with me, I'm going
to have a bad day all year.

You fools up there
better get out of my way,

because I'm coming.

It's been like this...

I just came in and
she jumped at me.

I gotta go around and
count some of the children,

see if they all have heads.

What's Mom doing now?

She's sitting up in the bed.

Well, that's good.

What's happening?

We're worried about Mom.

Okay, well, I'll take care
of it from here. All right?

Okay.

Tell me something.

How often do you all
look through this keyhole?

Hardly ever.

Later on, we're gonna talk about
some of the things you've seen.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

All right.

How you feeling?

Tired.

Want to talk about it?

I'm too tired to talk about it.

Okay.

So, Cliff, this is
what's going on.

I, um...

I don't think I have
anything left to give.

All day long, I give
to clients at the office,

and when I come here,

everybody around here expects
me to give for another six hours.

[sighs]

I love the work and I love the kids,
but, honey, after all these years,

I just think I don't have
anything left to give.

What can I give?

Nothing.

But what can
anybody give, honey?

This is just life.

Oh, I just probably need to be
alone and have some peace and quiet.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Now listen to me.

There's a surgeon at
the hospital, Dr. Zach.

This man is always talking about a
place that he goes to in the Adirondacks,

that there's a central building,

and a bunch of log cabins

around the lake, dear.

You could go there now.

Sounds lovely.

It is lovely.

Now what I'll
do, is I'll call him,

he knows about
trains and everything.

I'll put you dead on it.

You're on your way.

Adirondacks. Log cabin.

Overlooking the lake.

Bingo! Come back refreshed.

But I'm not so sure
I need to go that far.

I mean, if I just spent
a day here in bed,

I'd probably be fine.

You can't just spend
time in bed here.

These people... [knocking]

[Vanessa] Mom? Are you okay now?

I have something very
important to ask you.

Dad, is Mom in there?

You ought to know, you're looking
through the keyhole, aren't you?

[Vanessa] No, I'm
not. Is she all right?

No, you ruined her life.

[Vanessa] Okay,
I'll come back later.

Cliff. Mm-hmm?

Call him.

I'm on the horn.

♪ Go, Mom, go, Mom ♪

♪ Go, Mom, go Mom, go Mom ♪

♪ Go, Mom, go, Mom ♪

♪ Go, Mom, go, Mom, go Mom ♪

♪ Go, Mom, go, Mom ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go, Mom ♪

♪ Go, mom, go, Mom ♪

[end-of-movie orchestral score]

That was a good movie.

Dad, that movie
was so much better

than those old black and
white things you make us watch.

It was a black and white thing.

They colorized it.

Why do you think the Dalmatian
was pink with brown spots?

Hey, I wonder if Mom
got up to the lodge okay.

Yeah, I would imagine so.

Well, let's call
her and find out.

Okay, we're going to call her.

But let me tell you this.

This will be the
one and only call,

because your
mother's on vacation.

Okay.

Hold it back just
a little bit more.

Thank you.

We just want to call up, tell
her how much we love her,

and how much we
miss her, and good night.

[phone ringing]

[Man] Good evening.

Pine Ridge Lodge.
Mr. Bingham speaking.

Ah, yes, Mr. Bingham.

You have a guest there

by the name of
Mrs. Clair Huxtable.

May I speak to her please?

Uh, Huxtable... huh huh.

Let me see what we've got here.

Oh, yes, here we are.

Huxtable... yes.

She signed in on the
register at 10:17 PM.

This evening at... Oh,
lovely penmanship.

I'm afraid I can't
let you speak to her.

Lodge policy.

We don't call the cabins
after 10:30 at night.

You can call back after 6:00 AM.

Would you please tell her

that her children
and her husband said,

"Good night," please?

Well, I won't be able to tell
her that until after 6:00 AM.

Wouldn't make
much sense to tell her

good night tomorrow
morning, would it?

[Bingham] Good night.

Hello.

Pine Ridge Lodge, here,

Mr. Bingham speaking.

Mr. Bingham, this
is Clair Huxtable.

I'm a guest here in the lodge.

Oh, yes, you're up
there in Cabin 17.

I want to talk to you about
this Cabin 17 business.

There is no heat in this room!

Oh, yes.

Pipes blew this morning.

Yeah, well, the
window blew, too.

Got a lot of fresh air
coming in, have you?

Could you send somebody
over here to fix this place?

That would be Charlie.

Charlie... fine.

Where is he?

Well, he hasn't come
back yet from deer hunting.

[gun firing]

That's Charlie now.

Sounds like he's
close to the property.

I'd stay away from
those windows.

Do you think Mom's up by now?

Boy, are you kidding?

Out there your mom is probably

so invigorated, man.

All the nature, she's
probably up walking around...

[phone ringing]

Good morning, Pine
Ridge Lodge, here.

Mr. Bingham speaking.

Yes, this is Dr. Huxtable.

I would like to speak
to my wife please?

All right.

I'll hook you up.

We got a phone in
every cabin, you know?

Matter of fact, it was
my brother-in-law

that installed these
phones back in 1940.

Got them secondhand,
just before the war.

You know, during the war, it
was very hard to get phones.

Well, I'm sure it was. My I
speak to my wife, please?

I'm calling from New York City.

You live in New
York City, do you?

Yes, sir. The Big Apple.

The Big Apple, huh huh.

You haven't seen a big apple

until you've seen the
kind we grow up here.

Yes, sir.

I'm really anxious
to talk to my wife, sir.

All right.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Sweetheart.

♪ I love you and how are you? ♪

Cliff, I want to talk to you
about this place you sent me to.

Yes, and I know
you are loving it.

No, I'm not.

I want to come home,
and I want out of here, now!

Well, why don't
you just take a train.

Do you know where...
when one leaves?

Not until 8:00 tomorrow morning.

Okay, bye-bye, honey.

[Bingham] Good-bye.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Well, I see someone's
ready for bed.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure, you can.

Thank you.

Why did Mrs.
Huxtable have to leave,

just because she ate too much?

Who said she ate too much?

Rudy.

She said Mrs. Huxtable had to
leave just because she was fed up.

No, uh, fed up means
that if you're irritated

about some things,
you've had enough.

Oh, I've been there.

You've been there?

Yes.

When people tell me to do
things that I don't want to do,

that's when I get fed up.

You do?

Yes.

But I know how
to take care of it.

How?

Well, I go up in my room,

put my face against the window,

and blow until it gets foggy.

Well, I'll tell Mrs.
Huxtable about that.

Listen, I was wondering
if you could help me,

because I get caught in
traffic when I'm driving,

and I get fed up.

I come here and I'm
just tight, and I'm fed up.

Now, what would
you do about that?

Let me think about it.

Okay.

[Olivia] Ah ha!

Go out in the back yard.

Dig a hole.

Take the dirt from the hole.

Pour water on it.

That makes mud,

and you know what
to do with that mud?

What?

Squish your hands in it.

If that doesn't
make you feel better,

take your shoes
off and step in it.

You'll feel like a new man.

[door opening]

Hello.

Hey... now.

Look who's here.

Mmm.

Hi, Mrs. Huxtable.

Hi, Olivia.

You look awful.

[laughing]

I know.

You need to step in some mud.

I already did.

Good night.

Good night.

What are you doing here?

I thought the train didn't
leave until tomorrow.

Cliff, let me just say...

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I will always think fondly of
my little log cabin in the woods.

And as much as I hated to
leave my little wooded paradise,

I convinced Mrs. Bingham to
drive me to the nearest bus station,

which was three towns away.

Well, listen, you're home now.

Your husband is
going to go upstairs,

run a hot bath for you.

Get some oil

and rub-a-dub-dub those muscles.

All right, thank you.

Yes, indeed. Come on!
Take care of you now!

Hi, Mom. You still look awful.

Oh, really?

Tell that to your father.

What is this?

It's a history
paper I'm writing.

Yeah, but you're not
going to fool with this at all.

Do you understand? In the
tub, for your rub. That's it.

Well, now wait a minute. I've been
away from this child for a whole day.

- Are there any problems?
- Yeah, but I can't tell you.

Dad said I couldn't
bother you for a week.

Well, you were not even
supposed to say that to her now.

Move! Bye-bye.

Give me this paper,
don't listen to your father.

There you go again. Now
you're not supposed to do that.

Just stop it.

- Give it back to the child.
- It's all right, honey.

I want to do this.

Oh, I want to do it?

Yes.

Just not long ago,
you were up there,

"I have nothing to give, Cliff.

"Cliff, I have nothing to give.

It's all this life here."

[muttering]

"I don't want to
have nothing to give."

Well, go ahead
and give it up, sister!

♪♪ [theme]

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