The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 6, Episode 17 - Not Everybody Loves the Blues - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

This is the best elevator
music I've ever heard.

- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?

- Sorry I'm late.
- That's all right.

Justine's out of town and
she called me long distance.

I hadn't talked to her
in a couple of days.

Ah. Tailpipe Willie should
be coming on any minute now.

Theo, are you ready for this?

Because you are going to hear
some authentic blues music tonight.

I don't think I'm gonna be able
to enjoy much of anything tonight.

Why not?



Justine just told me she
decided to go to graduate school.

- Yeah? That's great.
- Don't you get it?

She'll probably want to
go away to graduate school.

I could lose her, man.

Elvin, when you
started dating my sister,

how did you know she was
the one you were gonna marry?

I knew she was the one the
first time I laid eyes on her.

I feel the same
way about Justine!

Yeah? Congratulations.

But I also feel a lot of other
things. Like I'm too young to go.

Elvin, there are tons of women
out there that I have yet to meet.

Ah! But there's
only one Justine.

And if she's really
the one for you,

then you won't care about
those tons of other women.



All right? Hi.

What are you gentlemen having?

Decaf cappuccino for me. Theo?

Uh, I'll have the same.

Thanks.

- You see her?
- No.

Now, I should be
allowed to ask her out.

I'm 19 years old.

I'm too young to be
tied down to one woman.

I don't want to look
in the mirror one day

and see an old married
man who's wrinkled and bald.

Hey, what does getting married
have to do with being bald?

I'm married, and I'm not bald.

Not yet.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I
have your attention, please?

Due to circumstances
beyond our control,

Tailpipe Willie will not
be appearing this evening.

What? You're kidding me!

You're kidding me!
I can't believe this!

Elvin, shh. No Tailpipe Willie?

But we came here
to see Tailpipe Willie!

We want Tailpipe Willie!

We will give you
your money back...

[Elvin] Oh, yeah?

If you don't find his
replacement acceptable.

[sighs] Oh, man.

You are about to hear
the king of the blues.

Mr. Riley Jackson!

- [cheers and applause]
- [band playing]

Riley Jackson?
I can't believe it!

Whoo! All right!

[Woman] All right, Riley!

[cheers and applause]

♪♪ ["Never Make
Your Move Too Soon"]

♪ Three days of
snow in Birmingham ♪

♪ Thought you'd want
to know just where I am ♪

♪ Rang my number
all night long ♪

♪ There's no comfort
on the telephone ♪

♪ Went out and caught
me a midnight flight ♪

♪ Thought a little love would
make everything all right ♪

♪ But the landlord said
you'd moved away ♪

♪ Left me with all
your bills to pay ♪

♪ It's too bad, baby ♪

[cheers]

♪ I think you might have
made your move too soon ♪

Isn't he great?

Great? He's been
reading my mail!

♪♪ [song ends]
[cheers and applause]

- Mom? Dad?
- Yo!

- Hi.
- I'm glad you guys are home.

Money, food, or laundry?

Food. But I brought a gift.

Come in, sit down. I
want you to hear this.

I know you guys are into
the blues as it is, but...

I heard some blues singing last
night at this club... unbelievable.

Who?

He's gotta be the
greatest blues singer ever.

- Who?
- Riley Jackson.

Riley?

[Riley] Yo!

I'm buggin'.

I'm buggin'.

Riley, I want you to
meet our son Theo.

Riley Jackson's in
my house. I'm buggin'.

You certainly are buggin'
'cause this is not your house.

Mr. Jackson, I saw you at
the Steel Dog Cafe last night.

You were fantastic!

How come you guys didn't
tell me you knew Riley Jackson?

Riley is an old friend
of your granddad's, son.

They used to play in
the same clubs together.

They've got a long-standing
agreement that whenever he's in town,

he calls Anna and Russell,
goes over for a hot meal.

But since they're out
of town, he called us.

Well, you see, a hot meal
is a beautiful thing to me

because I've been on
the road for three months,

playing stadiums,
small clubs, state fairs.

In fact, I've been everyplace
from Tokyo to Tennessee.

Well, being in college, I can appreciate
missing a good home-cooked meal, too.

Neither one of you
looks like you're starving.

If you want a good seat tonight,
you'd better be nice to me.

Okay. Okay.

You guys are going to
see Riley Jackson tonight.

- Can I come?
- Of course you can.

We're gonna take the whole family
down there to see Mr. Jackson.

And everybody will go
down and have a good time

and listen to Mr. Jackson sing
about hard times and heartbreak.

I know about heartbreak
because when I was in the service,

I made up some of my own songs.

That's how heartbroken I was.

- I was singing the blues, too.
- Were you really?

I was singing, "What am I to
do surrounded by all these men?

My sailor man is at sea.
Now... what's his name again?"

See, now, a woman singing the
blues like that will give you the blues.

And speaking of singing, sir, I
think that we fed you very, very well,

and it might be nice if
you repaid us with a song.

I don't think I can
help you there, Cliff.

I think you can
"help me there, Cliff."

I think I saw you carry
your guitar in, didn't I?

Yes, because I didn't
want to leave it in the car.

My amplifier's down at the club.

I got an old amp that belongs
to him that's up in the attic.

Well, I'll go
upstairs and get it.

All right. If it
works, so will I.

- Hey!
- I'll get the rest of the family.

I thought you'd
never say anything.

Hey, listen, Riley's gonna sing
for us. Come into the living room.

Oh, all right! The
blues! I'm ready.

All right, little one, it's time
to get you ready for bed.

I can't stay down here?

No.

Oh, man. Now I'm
getting the blues.

Come on.

Vanessa, aren't you coming?

No, Mom, not in the mood.

Aw, what's wrong?

Mom, my personal
life is in shambles.

- Again?
- Yes.

I don't understand it, Mom.

Last week, four
guys were after me.

One guy kept following me down
the hall and another guy kept calling.

And, Mom, one guy met me at my
locker every day with fresh flowers.

That sounds pretty good.

I know. But then it
all stopped, suddenly.

I haven't even gotten
a phone call this week.

Oh, Vanessa, I'm sorry
you're down and out, honey,

but that's another reason why you
really should come into the living room.

The blues, honey... the blues
can cleanse you of these feelings.

Mom, how is listening to some whiny
music gonna make me feel better?

Whiny music?

My man left me!
My woman left me!

My dog left me!

I have no money, no job, and
now all I can do is whine the blues!

Come on, Mom.

Every time I hear a
song like that, I feel

like yelling, "Get a
grip! Snap out of it!"

All right, Vanessa, you stay here in
the kitchen and feel sorry for yourself.

Oh, I will.

It's just that I don't get it.

Why are boys like this?

I mean, am I asking
too much out of life?

- Just one lousy boyfriend.
- Vanessa, you have got it, honey.

You have got the blues.

You are in this kitchen
crying the blues.

Mom, you're not listening.

[sings blues riff]

♪ Mom, you're not listening ♪

I don't deserve this.

♪ I don't deserve this ♪

All I want is a boyfriend.

♪ All I want is a boyfriend ♪

I'm going upstairs.

♪ I'm going upstairs ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't take no more ♪

♪ Of this whiny-child blues ♪

[all laughing]

This thing is older than me.

Not quite.

Dad didn't want to spend
the money for a new one.

He figured I wouldn't
stick with the guitar.

Well, let's see what she'll do.

[plays blues licks]

So when did you start playing
and singing, Mr. Jackson?

In church when I was a
small boy back in Mississippi.

We used to play
hymns in the church.

Something like this.

♪ I'm working on a building ♪

♪ True foundation ♪

♪ I'm lifting up a
blood-stained ♪

♪ Banner for the Lord ♪

♪ When I get through working ♪

♪ On this old building ♪

♪ I'm going up to heaven ♪

♪ Get my reward ♪

Then after church, we'd sneak
over to Muddy Waters' house.

We used to play tunes like this.

♪ You act like you
don't want to listen ♪

♪ When I'm talkin' to you ♪

♪ You think you
ought to do, baby ♪

♪ Anything you wanna do ♪

♪ Gotta be crazy, baby ♪

♪ Just gotta be
out of your mind ♪

♪ Long as I'm payin' the bills ♪

♪ I'm paying the
cost to be the boss ♪

[laughs]

What other blues
singers influenced you?

I'd say T-Bone Walker.

You knew T-Bone Walker?

Not really... but I
knew all of his songs.

When I first started out, I
used to play all of his tunes.

I used to play this little place

about the size of this table.

Yeah, I know exactly
what you're talking about.

And one night, in
walked T-Bone Walker.

My big chance to show
him some of my tunes.

Guess what happened.

I fainted.

- No!
- Yes, I did.

And what happened
when you came to?

T-Bone Walker was
playing my song.

What was he playing?

♪ Nobody loved
me but my mother ♪

♪ And she could be jivin', too ♪

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be Kenny.

He didn't believe me when I told
him Mr. Riley Jackson was over here.

Hey, Kenny.

- Hey, Kenny.
- Yo, what's up, man?

- Hello, Kenny.
- Come on in.

Kenny, this is
Mr. Riley Jackson.

Mr. Riley Jackson,
this is Kenny.

Hi. Hello, Mr. Jackson!

My brother says guitars
make you lucky with women.

Does he play guitar?

No, and he doesn't
have any women either.

Mr. Jackson, I was
born to sing the blues.

Yeah?

[plays blues licks]

♪ I gave you a brand-new car ♪

♪ But you said you
want a Cadillac ♪

[chuckling]

♪ I bought you a $10 dinner ♪

♪ And she said,
"Thanks for the snack" ♪

♪ I let you live in
my penthouse ♪

♪ And you said it was a shack ♪

♪ 'Cause I gave
you seven children ♪

♪ Now you wanna give 'em back ♪

♪ I've been downhearted, baby ♪

♪ Ever since the day we met ♪

Go ahead! Whoo!

♪ Our love is nothin'
but the blues ♪

♪ Baby, how blue can you get? ♪

Uh, here you go, Mr. Jackson.

Thank you. My
pipes are a little dry.

Can I ask you a
question? Fire away.

Are you married?

Forty-four years to
the same beautiful lady.

That's a long time.

That's what my wife
keeps telling me.

When did you know that she was
the one you were gonna marry?

The very first moment
I laid eyes on her.

- You, too?
- Mm-hmm.

My brother-in-law Elvin said he knew
the first time he saw my sister Sondra.

My dad said he knew the
first time he saw my mom.

Martin said he knew the
first time he saw Denise.

I've been with my girlfriend Justine
for two years, and I still don't know.

All I know is the first time I saw her, I
knew that I wanted to see her again.

Well, Cupid has a lot of arrows,

and he dips 'em in
a lot of different stuff.

One arrow will hit you,
and knock you right over.

The others are delayed.

Something like a cold capsule.

You mean, like
they're time-released.

They're in me, but they
don't happen till later.

That's it. They hit you
when you don't expect it.

I think I know what you mean.

Say I'll see a beautiful
woman, and I say to myself,

"Ooh, I'd love to
go out with her."

But my mind takes
me back to Justine,

and I keep thinking
she's the only one for me.

Then I end up all mixed up, I
don't know which way to turn.

I'm kinda like a pig in a trap.

[laughs]

"Pig in a trap," that sounds
like a good blues song.

♪ Baby, I'm caught
like a pig in a trap ♪

♪ My heart is filled with
a time-release cold cap ♪

♪ I got a good woman
that fills me with pride ♪

♪ And that's why I know ♪

♪ I can't have that
bacon on the side ♪

♪♪ [blues]

♪♪ [song ends]

[cheers]

[yelling, indistinct]

Play it again! Whoo!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Baby, you done lost
your good thing now ♪

[screams] Yes!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Baby, you done lost
your good thing now ♪

♪ The way I used
to love you, baby ♪

♪ Baby, that's the
way I hate you now ♪

[screams] Yes! Yes!

[no audible dialogue]

♪ You used to say
that you loved me ♪

♪ But now I believe
you've changed your mind ♪

♪ Hey, you used to say
that you loved me, baby, ♪

♪ But now I believe
you've changed your mind ♪

♪ But I don't blame you, baby ♪

♪ Because you ain't
what you used to be ♪

[screaming]

Oh!

♪♪ [song ends]

Thank you!

Hey, Justine and I
don't want any ice cream.

It's getting late. I gotta
get her back to the dorm.

Well, good. There'll
be more for us. Ha ha!

You will be getting
the same amount.

Oh ho.

Did Riley cook tonight or what?

And did you cook and have
big fun when Justine showed up.

[teasing] Justine! Justine!

[laughs] See you guys later.

All right, home.

Guys, you might as well know.

I'm experiencing some
emotional torment over Justine.

See, on one hand, I'm
really in love with her.

But on the other hand,
I'm just too young to go.

- Go where?
- Down the aisle.

Who is going down the aisle?

Well, I'm sure Justine wants to.

What makes you think
Justine wants to get married?

And what makes you think
she wants to marry you?

Well...

Justine gets very jealous whenever
she sees me with another girl.

And you know what?

Whenever we're
away from each other,

she calls me and tells me
how much she misses me.

[both chuckle]

What's so funny?

Theo, did Justine tell you
that she wants to be your wife?

No.

Has Justine said that she
wants to have children with you

and live together, married?

Well, no.

Has Justine even said that
she wants to be engaged?

No.

Well, then, son...

[whispering] what
makes you think

Justine wants to get married?

[Clair] I'll tell you
what this is all about.

Theo is afraid.

Afraid, I say, that what
he thinks Justine thinks

is what he really wants.

Oh, no way. Uh-uh.

- Ahhhh.
- I don't want to get married.

Whoa.

- Justine?
- Yes?

- Justine?
- What?

Never mind.

[door closes]

♪ I'm going down
for the last time ♪

[laughs]

♪ And I don't know why ♪

Well?

♪ Said I'm going
down for the last time ♪

♪ And I don't know why ♪

♪ Well ♪

♪ I gave you seven children ♪

♪ And now you
wanna give 'em back ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪

♪♪ [theme]

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