The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 6, Episode 16 - The Birthday Party - full transcript

It's Olivia's birthday and all she wants is a brand new tricycle, which she has all her friends help her search the entire house for when Cliff, who's supposed to be babysitting her guests, falls asleep.

[♪♪ theme]

This is the best elevator
music I've ever heard.

Oh! Look who's here.

Wow! Look at all these decorations
for such a beautiful birthday!

How does it feel
to hit the big 0-4?

I asked Denise and
Daddy for a tricycle.

It's the one in this picture.

Well, that's beautiful.

So this is what you want
for your birthday, huh?

Yes, but I haven't seen
it. Have you seen it?

No, but I did hear Denise and
your dad talking about... a sickle.



You mean... this tricycle?

Yeah, I heard 'em, and they
said something about, um...

they hid it somewhere.

Where?

They hid it... in... uh...

I got a hangnail here.

Have you ever had
one of these things?

Yes. You were saying?

I was saying
that they hid it in...

What time is it?

Aren't your friends supposed
to be coming here soon?

Dr. Huxtable, forget the time.

Pay attention. My
present. Where is it?

Yeah. Well, I'm just
afraid that if I told you,



that maybe Denise and your
dad would be upset about it.

But you know what?

If I gave you a hint, you
would know exactly where it is.

Tell me.

A pelican... that is wet...

walks with a gaited limp.

But a dry fish... swims alone.

Oh, boy! Now, this is
going to be some party!

Absolutely! Hey.

You know what I'm
completely proud of? What?

Everything is totally organic.

There's no salt, no sugar,
no butter in any of this.

See these cookies? Uh-huh.

These cookies are made with rice
syrup, barley malt, and fruit essences.

[laughs]

What? What are you laughing at?

You think the children
are gonna eat this?

Yes. These happen to
be good. Here, try one.

No! I don't want it! Taste it!

And that's the only way you're
gonna get the kids to eat it

is to shove it down 'em.

Dad, these happen to be good.

Barley stuff!

Now this, this looks all right.

Mmm, yes! This is
carob poppy-seed cake.

And I made it with
unbleached flour,

blended soy milk, pureed
tofu, and this is carob topping.

It used to look good.

[laughs]

All right, Dad, you're not
gonna get a piece of this then.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.

I really appreciate it.

You hurt my feelings.

Hi. Oh, Denise!
You baked a cake?

Mm-hmm. I didn't smell anything.

Yeah.

Tell your... tell your
mother what's in that.

I want Olivia and her friends to
have a healthful birthday party.

So I baked this delicious
cake with unbleached flour,

blended soy milk, pureed
tofu, and this is a carob icing.

[laughs]

This looks interesting. Yes.

What is this? Hmm.

Promise you're not
gonna laugh? Yeah.

I'm making meatless hamburgers.

[Cliff laughs]

What?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Um, I want you to know
that I'm not laughing

because you're trying
to fix healthful food.

But children, you see...

Your other activities
better be good.

All right, you guys, you
know what you can do?

You go out and you get, the sweetest,
gooiest chocolate cake that you can find.

We'll put your cake out,
we'll put my cake out.

We'll give the kids a piece
of yours, a piece of mine.

We'll see whose cake is left.

[Cliff laughs]

No, I just want
you to take this...

and go up to a child and
say, "Have some of this."

This isn't cooked yet.

And the kid is going to say, "It's
already been in my brother's diapers."

Hi. Are you here for the party?

Yes.

Is everyone else
in the living room?

No.

Did my husband
come pick everyone up?

Yes.

Oh, okay. So, where is everyone?

Running down the street.

Where's my husband?

Chasing them.
He's not very fast.

Let's go find them, okay?

[children laughing]

[Martin] Hey, hey, hey, hey!

No, no, no, don't do that!

Don't pull up those bushes!
Come on, everybody!

Put the dog down!

Treats for everyone
who comes in now!

[children] Yay!

[groans] Brilliant, Denise.

I don't know why
I didn't think of it.

Okay. Everyone, let's sit
down in a nice, orderly fashion.

[blows whistle]

This is Mr. Whistle. Whenever
you hear him, we're gonna stop,

and whoever stops,
gets a prize, okay?

[yelling]

Mr. Whistle is not working.

I think you need
Mr. Air Raid Siren.

I know! That video
tape that Olivia wanted.

Mr. Birthday Bunny
Party? Ah, yes! Will do!

Okay, great. I'll go
finish cooking. Okay!

Oh, no! Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Everybody... No! No! Don't play!

Don't play! No!

Everybody, we're gonna...

No. Listen to Mister Bunny!

The Mister Bunny
video! Everybody!

Everybody sit down!

Hey. Hey How's the party going?

Oh, it's going great.
The kids just got here.

They're a little
overactive, but, uh...

Martin's putting in a video
tape, and they'll be fine.

Denise, where's that
video? I can't find it.

What? Martin, I thought you
picked it up at the video store.

I thought you picked it up.

Well, Martin, you're going to
have to go down there and get it,

because Olivia made a special
request for Birthday Bunny Party.

Okay, okay. Now, can you
handle the children and the food?

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

Okay. I'll be back
as soon as I can.

How you doing, Dr. Huxtable?

Pretty good.

[laughs]

Oh, boy!

Look, if you want me to, I'll
go in and look after the kids.

Dad, no. I made a promise.

You're not gonna lift a finger,
and I'm gonna stick to that, okay?

Okay. Okay.

Everything's under control.

[children laughing]

[Denise] Get down!

- Uh, Denise?
- Huh?

There's a pot
boiling over in here.

Oh! Oh!

But you told me
not to lift a finger.

Dad, can you just
watch them for a second?

You don't have to entertain
them. Just... just... just watch them.

Hi, everybody.

[children yelling]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

No, no. Don't play
with those, dear, please.

Those are not toys.
Please, put 'em back.

Don't crack 'em, all right?

Sorry. That's all right.

Go ahead. That's all right.

Have you tasted these cookies?

Uh, no.

They're flat! I thought this
was supposed to be a party!

I'm sorry.

I've had matzo that
taste better than this!

Dr. Huxtable? Uh-huh?

I have an idea for a
game that we can all play.

- What?
- Let's play "Find My Tricycle."

[laughs] No!

Dr. Huxtable. Huh?

I think somebody's
talking on your telephone.

Somebody's talking
on my telephone?

Hey. No, no, no, ma'am.
Please, don't talk...

No, don't. Who did you call?

I don't know.

Hello? Who is this?

Ian?

Where-where are you?

In London?

Everybody sit on the sofa.

Sit on the sofa.
Sit on the sofa.

Everybody sit on the sofa.

Hey, hey! Come on, come on.

Sit on the sofa.
Sit on the sofa.

Sit on the sofa. Come on.

You have to sit... Sit
on... sit on the sofa.

Sit down. Here. Sit down.

Sit down. Sit on
the sofa. Sit down.

And you...

Sit on the sofa.

Sit on the sofa. Here we go.

Okay, now... here we go.

Hey! Sit on the
sofa! Sit on the...

Is there anyone here who can
do something that's entertaining?

- We can!
- Who?

- Miss Mary Mac.
- Okay, let's see it.

Now this thing is a... [mumbles]

No! What's it called?

Miss Mary Mac!

Would you come
around here, please?

Come here. I wanna
see you a second.

Now, here's what I wanna say.

Sit down!

Okay, go ahead.

[both] ♪ Miss Mary
Mac, Mac, Mac ♪

♪ All dressed in
black, black, black ♪

♪ With silver buttons,
buttons, buttons ♪

♪ All down her back ♪

Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

She's got silver
buttons down her back?

Yes!

- Why?
- So she can buy a new dress.

Go ahead.

- Mr. Huxtable?
- Yes?

Could you just listen to the song,
and if you have something to tell us,

could you tell us
after the song?

♪ Miss Mary Mac, Mac, Mac ♪

♪ All dressed in
black, black, black ♪

♪ With silver buttons,
buttons, buttons, ♪

♪ All down her
back, back, back ♪

♪ She asked her
mother, mother, mother ♪

♪ For 50 cents, cents, cents ♪

♪ To see the elephants,
elephants, elephants ♪

♪ Jump over the
fence, fence, fence ♪

♪ They jumped so
high, high, high ♪

♪ They reached
the sky, sky, sky ♪

♪ They never came
back, back, back ♪

♪ On the fourth
of July, ly, ly ♪

Okay, what do you have to say?

Anybody else can entertain here?

[giggles]

Come on.

What?

You gonna entertain?

Here, what I want you to
do is you stand right here.

What is your name?

Kentaro. Kentaro.

All right. Now, I'm gonna
make the music, and you...

dance.

Here we go.

[imitates band]

[laughs]

Ladies and gentlemen!
The wonderful...

What's your name, son?

Jonathan.

- Jonathan is going to...
- Sing!

Sing... while Kentaro
eats the table.

Okay.

Here we go.

♪ Risin' up ♪

♪ Back on the street ♪

♪ Did my time, took my chances ♪

♪ Went the distance,
now I'm back on my feet ♪

♪ Just a man and
his will to survive ♪

♪ So many times,
it happens too fast ♪

♪ You trade your
passion for glory ♪

♪ Don't lose your grip on
the dreams of the past ♪

♪ You must fight just
to keep them alive ♪

♪ It's the eye of the tiger,
it's the thrill of the fight ♪

♪ Risin' up to the
challenge of our rival ♪

♪ And the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night ♪

♪ And he's watchin'
us all with the eye ♪

♪ Of the tiger ♪

[low-pitched voice]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[children laugh]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Cliff] Stay on!

Here we go. Are you ready?

[imitating marching band]

Oh! We lost one!

Okay, that's it for the
parade. I'm tired. Sit down.

Sit down, everybody.
The robot is tired.

Whoo!

All right!

Who's ready for
Bunny Birthday Party?

[all] Yay!

I'm so happy you're here!
Thank you very much!

I'm going upstairs.
I'm going to take a nap.

Please don't bother me at all.

Okay, now, I can't start the tape
until everybody yells "Roll 'em."

So on the count of three, okay?

1, 2, 3!

[all] Roll 'em!

♪♪ [cartoon-type music]

Olivia, did Denise
serve lunch yet?

No, it's not ready.

Okay, I'm gonna
go help her, okay?

Good. We're starving!

Yeah.

Hey, I saw this already!

Me, too! Let's do
something else!

- I know what we can do.
- What?

We can find my tricycle.

Where is it?

I don't know. They hid it.

Let's go around the
house and look for it.

Be quiet.

Follow me.

[whispering] He's asleep.

Where should we look?

I don't know. Look everywhere.

Everybody down!

It's not here. Let's go!

Let's get out of here.

Shh!

♪♪ [cartoon-type
music continues on TV]

[Denise] Olivia, how is
everything going out there?

Fine! Quick! Sit down!

Hey, the food's gonna be ready
soon. Hope you brought your appetites.

Okay, ten minutes, all right?

Hey, let's look down
in the basement!

Yeah!

Follow me!

But you have to be quiet.

My tricycle must be
down here somewhere.

Look everywhere.

We found something!

- My tricycle?
- No, a cake!

My birthday cake!

I'm not eating
anything in this house.

It smells like real sugar!

Now this is cake!

Let's eat it!

We have no forks.

Who needs forks!

[all laughing]

All right, here you go, Denise.

[gasps]

I spray-painted it, oiled it.

This thing hasn't looked this good
since Rudy and Vanessa were riding it.

Theo, it's great.

I can't believe it.
Look at the streamers!

Oh, she's gonna go
wild when she sees this.

- How's the party going?
- Get this, right?

Mom and Dad didn't think the kids
were gonna like my cake that I made them,

so they went and brought
another chocolate cake,

kids found it in the basement...

stuffed their faces with it.

I had to find them, stop them.

Brought them upstairs, I gave
them my food... they loved it.

I couldn't believe it.
They loved it even more.

Where are they now?

Follow me.

They got a little too active.

They just fell asleep
about five minutes ago.

Welcome to our slumber party.

Oh, honey, wake Olivia up.

Her birthday
present's in the kitchen.

Hey, Miss Birthday Girl.

Huh?

You gotta come in the
kitchen and get your present.

My tricycle?

Oh, I don't know.
You have to come see.

I'll stay with the kids.

Okay, don't take your eyes
off of them for a second.

They're dangerous
even in their sleep.

Okay. Get ready.

Close your eyes.

Ta-da!

There it is!

It's not the one in the picture.

Well, it's not the
one in the picture,

but it's still a
really nice tricycle.

It's not the one in the picture.

You got this neat
chrome bell. [rings bell]

And you got these
great colorful ribbons.

And look at this
great seat here.

It looks old!

Well... well, it is old.

Uh, you know who
used to ride this?

Vanessa used to
ride this, and Rudy.

They did?

Mm-hmm.

And you know why
we're giving it to you?

'Cause you're part
of this family now, too.

Go help her. There you go.

Varoom.

I like it!

Yeah?

All right! Thank you,
Daddy! Thank you, Denise!

And you know, this bike
is better than any new bike.

'Cause this bike's
got a lot of miles on it.

It's been there and back,
and it's gonna be there again.

Can I ride in the living room?

All right, but don't run
over any of your friends.

I won't.

[groans]

I have so much to clean up.

I'll help you with that later.

I want you to sit
down. Come here.

Oh, gosh. What a long
day. I am so exhausted.

Well, you really
pulled this off, Denise.

You made this day
so special for Olivia.

Aw. Thanks.

She is never ever
gonna forget this birthday.

You spent so long
all week working on it.

And you know...

it really touches me to see
how much you care for her.

I know I don't have
to tell you this, but...

Olivia feels so close to you.

You do such
incredible things for her.

She and I are very lucky
to have you in our lives.

Never in my wildest dreams could I
imagine that it would be this wonderful.

I love you very much.

I love you, too.

♪♪ [theme]

[Announcer] The Cosby Show
was taped before a studio audience.

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