The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 6, Episode 1 - Denise: The Saga Continues - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

This is the best elevator
music I've ever heard.

Cliff, what are you doing?

Ah, there you go.

Door is scraping
when it comes through,

so I'm rehanging it.

Well, don't you think you
should call a carpenter for that?

Why is it that every time I
fix something in this house,

I hear the voice of
doom from Clair...

who says, "Don't you think
you should call the carpenter?

"Don't you think you
should call the electrician?



Don't you think you
should call the plumber?"

Don't you realize,

if it had not been
for the effort...

My effort... all these years,

this house would
have fallen apart?

And I think that I
deserve some credit:

a pat on the back,
if you don't mind.

Okay.

So, Denise, do they
know that I'm in the Navy

at sea for weeks at a time?

Uh, well, no, but
don't worry about that.

Dad's an old Navy man. He'll
probably eat that one right up.

So, babe, are you nervous?

[chuckles] Yes.



It's not every day the man gets to meet
the parents of the woman he married.

Oh, well, that's true. But don't
worry, I'm sure they'll love you.

Of course, no one can love
you as much as I love you.

Oh, all right. [chuckles]

- Well.
- Well?

- Let's go.
- Ooh!

Um, Martin, hold it.

There's something else my
parents don't know about you.

You didn't tell
them I'm divorced.

Right. Right.

Honey, don't worry.

They'll either accept
it, or they won't.

Oh, that's a good attitude.

I know. Come on, let's go!

Um, baby?

Um...

there's one more thing that
they sort of don't know about you.

What? You.

They don't know about you.

I beg your pardon?

I don't know, I just sort of
forgot to tell them I got married.

Denise, I know that you don't think
I have much of a sense of humor,

but you're testing
me on this, right?

No, but you have to admit,
this is pretty funny, right?

[laughing]

You were gonna let me go in here

and meet two people
who don't even know I exist,

and then say, "By the way,
I'm married to this guy"?

Yeah, something like that.

There you go.

Now, all it needed
was a little fine tuning.

Let's close it up and
watch it swing through.

[door clatters]

You just have to wait until
the humidity goes down,

because this is...
This is all swollen, see?

It's gonna be fine.

Now, look, if you
have a problem,

just remember,
you just do like this.

Denise! My baby!

[squeals] [chuckling]

How are you doing? Fine.

Oh! Oh! I missed you so much.

- Gosh, it's so good to see you!
- Yeah.

How was Africa? Did
you bring pictures?

Let me get a look at
you. Girl, you are skinny.

Oh, please. I gotta feed you.

Look at you! Oh!

[Denise] Hey!

Hey!

Hey! What... What
are you doing home?

We didn't expect you back
from Africa for another week.

Yeah, I know.

But, uh, a friend got me
on this flight, so I took it.

Why didn't you call? We could
have picked you up from the airport.

It's no problem.
He dropped me off.

Where's your luggage?

My luggage... Yeah, I...

I wanted to talk to
you guys about that.

The airline lost the luggage.

No.

Was it stolen?

No, uh, someone's watching it.

You didn't leave your
luggage with a stranger?

Of course not.

Um, I know this
person... really well.

So anyway, where's, uh,
Rudy? Where's Vanessa?

They went to the
mall. Oh, that's too bad.

Where's Theo? Moved out.

Praise the Lord!

[Cliff chuckling]

He found an
apartment in the Village

with a couple of other
students from NYU.

Now, pud, where...
Where's the luggage?

That was expensive luggage.

Dad! No, where is it?

The luggage is fine.

Denise, come here and sit down.
Your father and I need to talk to you.

Yes! Yes! Yes! We
want to talk to you,

because the whole
time that you were gone,

we were thinking and
thinking and thinking about you,

and we just want you
to please hear us out.

Okay? [Denise chuckles]

First of all, we wanna tell you
that we are really proud of you

for sticking it out in
the rain forests of Africa.

That must have been
quite an experience

And I'm sure that you
have grown a lot from that.

And you're probably thinking about
what you're gonna do next with your life.

As a matter of fact, I wanna
talk to you guys about that.

Yes! And I talked to
the president of Hillman,

and she said you can
come back anytime you want.

Mom, Dad, I'd
like to talk to you

about the guy who's
watching my luggage.

Come on. No, no, no.
We're talking about...

No. Dad? Yes.

He's wonderful. Good. Good.

His name is Martin. Fine.

And, um...

Dad, he graduated
from Annapolis.

And, uh... ahem...

He's a lieutenant in the Navy.

Oh, boy. Navy man.
Can't go wrong with that.

You have to bring him
by the house sometime.

Yeah, yeah. I'd love to.

Soon, I hope. Sure. Okay. Yeah.

Gosh, you two sound serious.

Yeah, we are. Yeah.

Uh, we got married.

So, I'm talking about... What...

you need to do... is...

- Now, even if you
don't want - Cliff, stop!

To go to college,
see... Stop, Cliff!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

I'm talking to her
about going to college.

This child has just
said that she is married.

Who said that? [Denise chuckles]

Yeah, man. I got married.

You know, tied the knot.

[Wedding March] Da-dun-da-dah...

Da-dun-da-dah?

Denise, you got married
without telling us?

Yeah, you guys, I'm married.

Aren't you happy for me?

Da-dun-da-dah?

Cliff, I need to speak
to you in the kitchen.

Denise is married, and I
don't even know her last name.

Mrs. Stupid.

When we let this
child go to Africa,

she was supposed to come back
here more mature, more responsible.

How could she
pull a stunt like this?

She didn't call us. She didn't
write us a letter. Nothing.

She just shows up at
the door. "Hi! I'm married."

We're supposed to
be happy about that?

I have got a nerve
to walk in there

and grab that child by
her arms and shake her!

Aren't you gonna say something?

Come on, Cliff. Come on.

Hello.

Here we are...
Mr. and Mrs. Kendall.

Dr. Huxtable.

Mrs. Huxtable,

it's a pleasure
to meet you both.

Denise has told me
so much about you.

I'm sorry we can't say
the same about you.

Dad.

Martin, please, sit down.

Yes, ma'am.

So... say something.

Isn't he beautiful? Huh?

I realize this is
a bit awkward...

especially when
you've just heard things

about me that you
might find troubling.

What troubling things?

Well, I'm sure you were concerned
when you heard I was divorced.

You're divorced?

You didn't tell them.

I was just getting to that.

Mom, Dad, it's just one of
those crazy things that happen,

you know?

Martin's ex-wife wasn't
mature or focused.

She didn't know what
she wanted out of her life.

Her head was all over the place.

And so he married you.

That's right.

I suppose I also have
to tell them about Olivia?

Is that another wife?

That's my 3-year-old daughter.

It's my new stepdaughter.

Well, where is
she, in the luggage?

No, sir.

She's with my parents now.

We can't wait for
you to meet her.

Isn't this fantastic?

Mom, I'm a mom.

Kitchen.

Well, forget college.

Forget everything.

"Mom, I'm a mom"?
She is not prepared.

What is she thinking?
What is going on in her mind?

How is she going to support a
child? Where are they going to live?

Not here.

You know, you two are
spending a lot of time in here.

You're being sort of rude to your
guest. He's your new son-in-law.

Denise, sit down.

Now, your father and I did not
see your life unfolding in this way.

You... We... Look at him.

You have turned this
man into an invalid.

Yes, you.

When you came back from Africa,

you were supposed
to go back to college,

get a degree, start a career,

then get married
and have a family.

Just 'cause that way worked out for
you doesn't mean it's the right way for me.

Oh, child, please. Nobody's
saying your way is wrong.

[whispering] Wrong.

Wrong.

No, no, no. It's wrong.

No, no, no. Yes, it is wrong.

It's not wrong. [muttering]

Mom, Dad, I know the
path that I may have chosen

is gonna be difficult.

But... I don't care. I
know it's gonna be okay.

You know why?

I fell in love.

Love.

There's so much love
between Martin and me

and Olivia and me...

I know whatever
problems come up...

our love will see us through.

That's how strong our love is.

Could we please stop all this
love talk for just one minute?

Now, where is this child's mother?
And where are you going to live?

Not here.

Olivia's mom...

realized that she wasn't
mature enough to raise a child,

so she gave custody to Martin.

And we're on a
waiting list for housing

at Martin's naval
base in Rhode Island.

And how long is
this waiting list?

They say we should have
a place to live in a year.

Dad, no, we don't
want to live here.

I mean, it would help us out if we
could stay here just for a little while

until we get an apartment.

That way you guys can get to
know Martin before he ships out.

He's shipping out?

Yeah, he's leaving next
week for three months.

And you have not
yet found an apartment

for you or your stepchild,
whom you will be raising alone.

Mom, it's gonna be okay. I
know I could raise this child.

You know, I...

Maybe I'll go back to college.

I don't know.

Maybe I'll join the Navy with
Martin. Anything is possible.

You know why?

Because you found love.

Come on in, Olivia.

Olivia, honey, this is the
house where Denise grew up.

Yeah, I used to come downstairs
and play with all my dolls down here.

Bathroom? Yeah,
there's one down the hall.

- Do you have to go?
- No. I wanna know just in case.

Okay.

Mom? Dad? The Kendalls are home.

I have someone here
I'd like you to meet.

[Clair] Oh, Martin,
she's adorable.

Isn't she, Cliff?

She's too short.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You must be Olivia.

Uh-huh. I'm 3 and a half.

I'll be 4 next month.

Well, I hope I get to
come to the birthday party.

You're invited.

Olivia, this is Denise's father.
His name is Dr. Huxtable.

Hi. And how are you?

I'm fine. Good.

- Do you have a job?
- No.

Then I guess I can't get
any money out of you.

I have money.

You do? How much?

I have a lot of it. You can
have some if you want.

I know this is not
one of my children.

And you can stay
for dinner if you like.

Thank you. All right.

But... Yes?

I don't eat red meat.

Do you eat ice cream? Yes.

Well, I have bad news for you.

Because there is
red meat in ice cream.

No way, José!

Olivia, I bet I could
find you a nice bowl

of meatless vanilla ice cream.

And I could probably fix a batch of
chocolate chip cookies to go with it.

Would you like that?

Yes! Daddy, is that okay?

Sure, honey.

Come on.

Come on, we'll
help in the kitchen.

Clair! Yes.

May I see you for
a minute, please?

[door closes]

Now, see, this is
what I'm talking...

See, you're starting to weaken.

Cliff, the child is adorable.

I'm not talking about whether
somebody is adorable.

You have forgotten
the master plan,

and that is we are supposed to get
all of the children out of the house,

not let them come back in,
bringing other people with them.

Here.

I have something you could
play with whenever you want.

Thanks.

This is my favorite.

A teddy bear?

Not just any teddy
bear. It's Bobo.

Bobo teddy bear.

Whenever you have a problem,
tell Bobo. He understands.

Okay, I will.

You're gonna like it here.

It's a fun place to live
if you know what to do.

How will I know what to do?

I'll tell you.

For instance,

if you want something
from my mom,

never do any whining.

What's whining?

You know, when you do this:

Please! Please!

Give me more of that! Please!

That's whining. Don't do it.

Okay. What else you got?

Now, my dad, he can be tough.

Never wake him up
when he's taking a nap.

Whenever he's around,
start reading a book.

He loves that.

I don't know how to read.

Fake it. You'll score big.

Okay.

Now, Vanessa just turned 16.

She's getting weird. Avoid her.

Okay.

Any questions?

What should I know about you?

Just do whatever I tell
you, and we'll get along fine.

Okay.

[chattering]

So, after I finished taking
pictures with Elizabeth,

of the pygmies,

I went to Kinshasa to unwind.

And I was in a
public marketplace,

and I just bought
some guava juice.

Then I turned around,
bumped into Martin,

and I spilled it all over him.

I had just polished these shoes.

Yeah, that sounds
like my sister.

We're back!

Hey! Hey, Miss Bugaboo.

You have a good time?

Yes, but hide-and-seek
makes me hungry.

You want a peanut
butter sandwich?

Yes, please. Okay.

[chattering]

- Uh, Denise?
- Yes?

I'll have mine on toast, with
lettuce, bananas, and jam.

Kenny, this is not your house.

If you want a peanut butter sandwich,
you're gonna have to make it yourself.

Yeah, tell him, Sis. Uh!

I'll just have it
with peanut butter.

You're it!

Hey, Theo! You're here again?

Yeah, I came by to visit
Denise and the family.

You came by to eat our food.

Well, yeah, that, too.

[chuckling]

Give me these. I'll
put them in the kitchen.

Oh, Cliff, you're
such a good husband.

Well, thank you very much.

Mm-mmm. [muttering]

[groaning] [laughing]

Peanut butter! I need turkey!

Hey, Dad!

[all screaming]

[Theo] Chill! Chill!

[loud chattering]

Go look in the kitchen, please.

[loud chattering]

Now, what do you think?

I think we need a
bigger refrigerator.

Come on, I'll buy you dinner.

Are we gonna back home?

Yes, after Rudy's
graduated from college.

Aha.

Vanessa was in here. Oh, really?

Oh, yeah. Came in to complain
there's too many people in the house,

and then demanded
to use our bathroom.

Did you tell her to get a job?

Thank you.

Is Denise in bed yet?

Yeah, I think so.

I hope everything is all right.

You're worried?

Yes, I am worried.

The child is in a
room across the hall

with a man and a baby,
and she's a baby herself.

Denise doesn't know
what she's doing, Cliff.

Did you see her at the table?

Did you see her cut
that broccoli for Olivia?

Those pieces were way too big.

And when she wasn't looking,
I cut that broccoli myself.

I hope she put enough cover
on Olivia. It's chilly tonight.

Okay. Let's go
on over, all right?

Thank you.

Uh, yeah.

Now, you're
going to knock first.

Anybody give me any rent money?

"And so it was that
a long time ago,

"Nasha agreed to be married.

"The king's mother and sisters
took Nasha to their house,

"and the wedding
preparations began.

"The best weavers in the
land laid out their finest cloth

for her wedding garments."

"And villagers from all around
were invited to the celebration,

"and a great feast was held.

"And Nasha prepared the
bread for the wedding feast

"from millet that had been
brought from her village.

"And Ofar proclaimed
to all who would hear him

"that he was the happiest
father in all the land,

"for he was blessed with two
beautiful and worthy daughters:

"Nasha the Queen," and Manata,

the servant in the
queen's household."

♪♪ [theme]

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