The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 5, Episode 8 - How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall? - full transcript
Vanessa forms the "Lipsticks" singing group; Cliff's dad gets an envelope saying "You are a winner", instead of "You might be a winner".
♪♪
♪♪
Hey, Dad, I'm back.
Hey, did you pick up
Grandma and Grandpa's mail?
Yup.
All right, because they'll be
back tomorrow from Florida.
Put it in the basket.
All right, Dad, but here's
something I think you should see.
Grandma and Grandpa
won the sweepstakes.
This is just one of those come-on letters
from the magazine subscription services.
They say you won $18
trillion and you get nothing.
Dad, look at this.
No, this does not say,
"You may be a winner."
It says, "You are a winner."
Look at that.
Yes, it does, it says,
"Open immediately", too.
What's going on?
Grandma and Grandpa
might be multimillionaires.
They won a sweepstakes.
Hate to burst your bubble, Theo, we
received an envelope just like this today.
I'll show you.
Sorry, son.
See?
Wait a minute.
This is different.
This one says, "You
may be a winner."
This one says,
"You are a winner."
- Let's open it.
- Yeah.
You can't do that.
Yes, you can.
This is not addressed to you.
But it says, "Open immediately."
It says, "Russell Huxtable,
open immediately."
I am the man's son.
I give you
permission to open it.
Do you let Theo open your mail?
She has a point, Dad.
Hey, man, I'm
not talking to you.
You understand?
That is my father, and he
won't be in until tomorrow.
If we open it now, he
may not blow the prize.
Dad's got a point, Mom.
There you go. Thank you, son.
I hardly think that one day will
result in your father's losing any prize.
Look, my father
is up there in age.
If he opens that and finds
out that he's won $3 trillion,
something may
happen up in his chest.
Now if we open it and
I see the ten trillion,
then I can call him and
break it to him calmly.
He won't have
pains in his chest.
You understand?
So let's open it.
I don't think that's
a good point.
Who's asking what you think?
Open!
I think the two of
you should know
that opening another
person's mail constitutes
petty theft and you
can do time for that,
so this letter is
going into this basket,
and it's going to stay here
until your father comes back.
Well, okay, Miss
Play By The Book.
I know one thing, if my
father wins some money,
I'm going to tell my father that he and I
will split it and you will get... nothing.
I'm going to study.
Mom, Dad, you
have to see this video.
It's the debut of the Lipsticks.
Who are the Lipsticks?
Well, they weren't
anyone until 12:30 today.
That's when we were walking
by Latham's Department Store
and we were really
shopping for eye shadows,
when we saw the sign in the window
that said make your own video tapes.
We asked ourselves,
"Okay, what's more important?
Videos or eye shadows?"
We said it was videos.
Well, Janet thought
it was eye shadows,
but there were two of us and only
one of her and we overruled her.
That's how we came up
with the name Lipsticks.
See we were gonna call
ourselves the Eye Shadows.
We decided that Lipsticks
sounded a lot better.
Well, Vanessa thought Eye
Shadow sounded a lot better,
but she changed her mind and
we all like the name Lipsticks.
And that's who we
are. We're the Lipsticks!
Thank you.
Vanessa?
We made this video tape
of ourselves singing a song.
The store provided
the background music,
we provided the vocals,
and they videotaped it for us.
Well, let's see it.
Okay.
♪♪
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ I know you're gonna like it
if you give it a chance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ My little baby sister
can do it with ease ♪
♪ It's easier than
learning your ABC's ♪
♪ So, come on, come on, and
do the locomotion with me ♪
♪ You got to swing
your hips now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
jump up, jump back ♪
♪ Well, I think
you got the knack ♪
Channel 37 is having a contest
for the best amateur music video.
What we're going to do
is put together new outfits
and then redo the video
and send it into the contest.
The winner gets an
audition for a record contract.
Wouldn't that be fabulous
if we actually won?
I mean, who knows?
One of our songs
might even become a hit
and then we can go on
tour and become real famous
and cut our own album.
We won't have to worry
about going to school
because we'll be taking our own classes
on our plane with teachers that we hire.
Do you think we could win?
Well, I think that what I've
seen is you all have the moves...
Now the singing, uh...
I'd say... you have raw talent.
That's what the lady said
when we did the video.
She said we're like a
diamond in the rough.
There you go,
diamond in the rough.
She said if we had some voice
lessons, we could be really good.
She gave us a name and
number of a singing teacher.
She's supposed to be really
good and she sings professionally.
How many lessons
do you think we'll need?
Probably just one.
♪♪
♪ We're moving ♪
♪ Moving ♪
♪ Moving on ♪
All right, guys.
That's all for today.
Thank you very much.
Miss Woods?
Hi, I'm Vanessa Huxtable. I
called about the singing lessons.
Oh, you must be the Lipsticks.
In person.
Young persons, too.
Well, Miss Woods, we
know we have the moves.
We just want to sound better.
Well, let me see what you got.
Okay, let's do the first
verse of "Locomotion."
Oh, do you want us to stand up
on the stage and get the full effect?
Oh, no, no, no. That's
okay. Right there.
Five, six, seven, eight...
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ I know you're going to like
it if you give it a chance now ♪
♪ Come, on baby,
do the locomotion ♪
So what do you think?
It's nice.
Girls, you've got to
learn how to breathe.
We already know how to breathe.
Not like a singer.
First, you've got
to take a big breath,
and then you let it out
slowly through your teeth,
like air leaking from a tire.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Okay, girls, I think we can
move on to groolah croolah.
♪ Groolah croolah ♪
♪ Groolah croolah,
groolah croolah ♪
Miss Woods, we only have
five minutes left in the lesson.
Could we sing our song just to
see if we've gotten any better?
Okay, let's see what you got.
All right!
Ready?
Five, six, seven, eight!
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Breathe from your diaphragm,
but let the tones
come from your head.
Lift! Lift! Again.
♪ Everybody's doing ♪
Ladies, ladies.
The first word again, please?
♪ Everybody ♪
That's great. That's
all for today, ladies.
♪ One thing I know you can do ♪
♪ You can do it to
me all night long ♪
♪ Uh-huh, yeah, baby,
do it to me all night long ♪
♪ 'Cause you do it just
right, so do it all night ♪
Hey, why did you do that?
What are you listening to?
The radio.
That song is
playing on the radio?
Yeah, it's called "Do It
To Me All Night Long."
Would you tell me
what does "it" mean?
Daddy, you know what "it" means.
Yes, I do.
But I want to know if
you know what "it" means.
"It" means... holding
hands and kissing.
Holding hands and kissing?
Yes, but that's not
all that "it" means.
What else does "it" mean?
It means... uh...
Do homework. "It" is homework.
Baby, do my
homework all night long.
Okay.
Okay.
♪ Baby, do my
homework all night long ♪
There you go. Can do.
Oh, sounds like
you're making tea.
Yes, would you
like a cup of tea?
No, but I figured if I showed
you this sweepstakes envelope,
you might know what you
could do with that teapot there.
Are you suggesting
that I place that envelope
near the steam so
it might open up?
I'm merely bringing
it up as a possibility.
Well, I think that as a son,
you have hit an all-time low.
You're right, Dad.
I'll just put this back.
Now, because I don't
trust you, my boy,
I am going to keep this
envelope away from you,
because I don't
trust anything you do.
How dare you suggest
that I do something like this?
Do you understand
what I'm saying to you?
Don't ever try it again.
You know, you two are
pathetic, pitiful, and predictable.
You see, you got me
in a whole lot of trouble.
♪♪
Listen, I apologize for
acting like a sleaze, okay?
Think nothing of it.
Good, I'm going to
sit over here with you.
Do a little light reading.
Oh, what should I read?
What should I read?
I say, I'll close my
eyes and let's get a...
What is this I'm touching?
You were spying on me.
Yes, you were spying.
No, I wasn't, dear,
but I think you could go to jail
for hiding people's mail, you know?
Hey!
Hey, how you doing?
There they are, the Rollipops.
How did it go?
Mom, we learned one thing today.
We don't need singing
lessons from Miss Woods.
Yeah, she didn't
even let us sing.
All we did was go bee bee
bee bee bo bo bo bo bo.
Zinga zinga zee,
zinga zinga zay.
I mean, I don't
want to sing like that.
Well, now wait a minute now.
I don't think you're being fair to Miss
Woods and what she's trying to do.
Let me give you an example.
I understand that you all
want to get right to the song,
but she took you
through some exercise,
probably some breathing
things, am I correct?
Same thing happened to
me. I wanted to be a drummer.
I had my own set, taught
myself up in the room.
Then I heard Art Blakey play.
I bought his records, tried
to copy what he was doing.
I couldn't get it. I
didn't know what it was.
So I went down to a teacher.
I said, "Now, what
I want to learn,
"is how he does with the
left hand, dih dih dih dih dih,
while the right hand's,
ding ding ding?"
So the man said, "I know
exactly what you're talking about."
He said, "Here we
go." Put the set aside.
He pulled out a little block,
and he took the sticks and
he said, "Now you do like this."
Whack... whack.
Whack... whack.
I said, "But I don't want to
go whack, whack, whack.
I want to go ziggety-ziggety
ziggety-ziggety."
He says, "In order to get
to ziggety-ziggety-ziggety,
you got to go whack,
whack, whack."
Well, Dad, that's a great story,
but it doesn't have
anything to do with us.
We don't play drums, we sing.
Yeah!
But you don't sing well.
Yet!
- We don't have to sing well.
- You don't?
No, see, there's this
new group called W4.
And?
They can't sing.
But when they're in
the recording studio,
they have a recording
engineer that fixes their voices.
So that's what we're gonna do.
Wait until you see
what we look like.
We bought new
outfits and everything.
Why don't you wait down here?
We'll go put on the outfits
and we'll show you our routine.
All right, we'll be here.
Motion! Motion!
Mom, Dad, we're ready!
Okay.
Okay, so where are they?
They have to
make their entrance.
Oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting
live in the Huxtable living room,
the new, the
improved, Lipsticks!
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ I know you're gonna like
it if you give it a try now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ My little baby sister
can do it with ease ♪
♪ It's easier than
learning your ABC's ♪
♪ So, come on, come on, and
do the locomotion with me ♪
♪ You gotta swing
your hips now ♪
Mom, why did you do that?
Yeah, Mrs. Huxtable,
we're not finished yet.
Yes, you are.
I thought they were hot.
Maybe you should go up
to your room and cool off.
Aw, man.
Mrs. Huxtable, is
there something wrong?
I don't know who
you think you are,
but you are not the people who just
came down here in my living room,
half-dressed, flinging parts
from one end to the other.
Are my eyes deceiving me?
Aren't you all swollen in areas
where you weren't swollen before?
Thank you.
Because I definitely
detect some growth!
Mom!
That's part of our outfits.
The only part of your
clothing that you will be allowed
to stuff things into
will be your pockets.
Now you take this and go
upstairs and put some clothes on!
Now I'm not your mother, but I feel safe
in saying that I speak for them when I say,
"Go cover yourselves
immediately!"
Come on, guys.
Yes, Mrs. Huxtable.
You know, I finally thought they
were open enough to understand
I'm not a child anymore.
Don't put those
tissues back in the box!
Did you see Miss Cara with
that bra on top of her leotard?
Tell me!
Did I see it, I... We
have made a mistake.
We have planted roses, but
we keep getting these weeds.
See now what...
Sonya's in the wilderness,
Denise is in the jungle,
and she's on the locomotion?
You better take that
war paint off of your faces
before their mothers
come in here and see me.
They'll be blaming me!
Yeah, now let's...
Running around here
dressed in nothing.
Jumping around like they
just hopped off the hot seat.
Suppose some fool comes around
and sees that, takes them seriously?
Vanessa could end up on a stage
somewhere across the country, Cliff,
in a smoke-filled cafe, singing
and dancing and gyrating like that.
I won't be around to
take the tissues out then.
No, no. See...
What do they know?
What do they know?
Easy as doing your ABC's.
Miss 1400 on the S.A.T.'s!
I got your locomotion down
here in the living room...
With a science book!
- Right.
- And take that makeup off!
That's right.
I can see it now, sitting in
a Hollywood swimming pool
with a remote phone in
her hand, calling me up.
"Hi, Mom, babe. Let's do lunch."
I'll not have it!
And that goes for me, too!
Vanessa, Clair, the show
starts at 8:30. We got five!
- Hey!
- Hey!
All right! How you doing?
Here's your mail right here.
Bang! There it is! All right!
I dropped your
mother off on the way.
Uh-huh.
Now did I tell you about
the fishing I did in Florida?
Yeah, okay, open this
up, will you please?
I think I'll wait and open
it in front of your mother.
No, don't wait...
In front of her...
You can do that...
Now wait a minute,
Cliff, calm down.
Have you been eating
some sugar products?
No, sir.
No, I haven't, Dad, but
just come on, open this up.
We'll tell Mom later.
All right, I'll open it, son.
There you go. All right.
There you go.
If you don't mind.
Uh-oh.
What?
Now this is truly unbelievable.
I have never won anything
in my life, and now this.
What? What?
Son, I am the winner of
a stainless steel toaster.
Makes up to eight slices.
I'm so lucky! I'll
see you later, son.
But listen, stop over any
time you want some toast.
♪♪
I like this club, Cliff.
Yes, you have to bring
me here again sometime.
This club doesn't fit
many people, does it?
No.
When we become famous, we
are going to fill football stadiums.
Well, except when we're in London,
because then we'll play in soccer stadiums.
In Spain, we're gonna
play in the bull rings.
God, I hope there
aren't any bulls in there.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Count's proudly presents
Miss Amanda Woods.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
♪ To have his love ♪
♪ Is all that a
girl could want ♪
♪ To hold him close is heaven ♪
♪ To watch the sun
come up each day ♪
♪ With joy, I took a chance ♪
♪ And there he was ♪
♪ With me ♪
♪ Look what I got ♪
♪ To kiss every night now ♪
♪ Look what I got now ♪
♪ To hold hands
in the park with ♪
♪ I got a man ♪
♪ I got a brand new dance ♪
♪ Motion ♪
♪ Motion ♪
♪ Look what I got ♪
♪ I got love, I got love ♪
♪ I got love ♪
♪♪
The Cosby Show is taped
before a studio audience.
Subtitled By J.R. Media
Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪♪
Hey, Dad, I'm back.
Hey, did you pick up
Grandma and Grandpa's mail?
Yup.
All right, because they'll be
back tomorrow from Florida.
Put it in the basket.
All right, Dad, but here's
something I think you should see.
Grandma and Grandpa
won the sweepstakes.
This is just one of those come-on letters
from the magazine subscription services.
They say you won $18
trillion and you get nothing.
Dad, look at this.
No, this does not say,
"You may be a winner."
It says, "You are a winner."
Look at that.
Yes, it does, it says,
"Open immediately", too.
What's going on?
Grandma and Grandpa
might be multimillionaires.
They won a sweepstakes.
Hate to burst your bubble, Theo, we
received an envelope just like this today.
I'll show you.
Sorry, son.
See?
Wait a minute.
This is different.
This one says, "You
may be a winner."
This one says,
"You are a winner."
- Let's open it.
- Yeah.
You can't do that.
Yes, you can.
This is not addressed to you.
But it says, "Open immediately."
It says, "Russell Huxtable,
open immediately."
I am the man's son.
I give you
permission to open it.
Do you let Theo open your mail?
She has a point, Dad.
Hey, man, I'm
not talking to you.
You understand?
That is my father, and he
won't be in until tomorrow.
If we open it now, he
may not blow the prize.
Dad's got a point, Mom.
There you go. Thank you, son.
I hardly think that one day will
result in your father's losing any prize.
Look, my father
is up there in age.
If he opens that and finds
out that he's won $3 trillion,
something may
happen up in his chest.
Now if we open it and
I see the ten trillion,
then I can call him and
break it to him calmly.
He won't have
pains in his chest.
You understand?
So let's open it.
I don't think that's
a good point.
Who's asking what you think?
Open!
I think the two of
you should know
that opening another
person's mail constitutes
petty theft and you
can do time for that,
so this letter is
going into this basket,
and it's going to stay here
until your father comes back.
Well, okay, Miss
Play By The Book.
I know one thing, if my
father wins some money,
I'm going to tell my father that he and I
will split it and you will get... nothing.
I'm going to study.
Mom, Dad, you
have to see this video.
It's the debut of the Lipsticks.
Who are the Lipsticks?
Well, they weren't
anyone until 12:30 today.
That's when we were walking
by Latham's Department Store
and we were really
shopping for eye shadows,
when we saw the sign in the window
that said make your own video tapes.
We asked ourselves,
"Okay, what's more important?
Videos or eye shadows?"
We said it was videos.
Well, Janet thought
it was eye shadows,
but there were two of us and only
one of her and we overruled her.
That's how we came up
with the name Lipsticks.
See we were gonna call
ourselves the Eye Shadows.
We decided that Lipsticks
sounded a lot better.
Well, Vanessa thought Eye
Shadow sounded a lot better,
but she changed her mind and
we all like the name Lipsticks.
And that's who we
are. We're the Lipsticks!
Thank you.
Vanessa?
We made this video tape
of ourselves singing a song.
The store provided
the background music,
we provided the vocals,
and they videotaped it for us.
Well, let's see it.
Okay.
♪♪
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ I know you're gonna like it
if you give it a chance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ My little baby sister
can do it with ease ♪
♪ It's easier than
learning your ABC's ♪
♪ So, come on, come on, and
do the locomotion with me ♪
♪ You got to swing
your hips now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
jump up, jump back ♪
♪ Well, I think
you got the knack ♪
Channel 37 is having a contest
for the best amateur music video.
What we're going to do
is put together new outfits
and then redo the video
and send it into the contest.
The winner gets an
audition for a record contract.
Wouldn't that be fabulous
if we actually won?
I mean, who knows?
One of our songs
might even become a hit
and then we can go on
tour and become real famous
and cut our own album.
We won't have to worry
about going to school
because we'll be taking our own classes
on our plane with teachers that we hire.
Do you think we could win?
Well, I think that what I've
seen is you all have the moves...
Now the singing, uh...
I'd say... you have raw talent.
That's what the lady said
when we did the video.
She said we're like a
diamond in the rough.
There you go,
diamond in the rough.
She said if we had some voice
lessons, we could be really good.
She gave us a name and
number of a singing teacher.
She's supposed to be really
good and she sings professionally.
How many lessons
do you think we'll need?
Probably just one.
♪♪
♪ We're moving ♪
♪ Moving ♪
♪ Moving on ♪
All right, guys.
That's all for today.
Thank you very much.
Miss Woods?
Hi, I'm Vanessa Huxtable. I
called about the singing lessons.
Oh, you must be the Lipsticks.
In person.
Young persons, too.
Well, Miss Woods, we
know we have the moves.
We just want to sound better.
Well, let me see what you got.
Okay, let's do the first
verse of "Locomotion."
Oh, do you want us to stand up
on the stage and get the full effect?
Oh, no, no, no. That's
okay. Right there.
Five, six, seven, eight...
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ I know you're going to like
it if you give it a chance now ♪
♪ Come, on baby,
do the locomotion ♪
So what do you think?
It's nice.
Girls, you've got to
learn how to breathe.
We already know how to breathe.
Not like a singer.
First, you've got
to take a big breath,
and then you let it out
slowly through your teeth,
like air leaking from a tire.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Okay, girls, I think we can
move on to groolah croolah.
♪ Groolah croolah ♪
♪ Groolah croolah,
groolah croolah ♪
Miss Woods, we only have
five minutes left in the lesson.
Could we sing our song just to
see if we've gotten any better?
Okay, let's see what you got.
All right!
Ready?
Five, six, seven, eight!
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Breathe from your diaphragm,
but let the tones
come from your head.
Lift! Lift! Again.
♪ Everybody's doing ♪
Ladies, ladies.
The first word again, please?
♪ Everybody ♪
That's great. That's
all for today, ladies.
♪ One thing I know you can do ♪
♪ You can do it to
me all night long ♪
♪ Uh-huh, yeah, baby,
do it to me all night long ♪
♪ 'Cause you do it just
right, so do it all night ♪
Hey, why did you do that?
What are you listening to?
The radio.
That song is
playing on the radio?
Yeah, it's called "Do It
To Me All Night Long."
Would you tell me
what does "it" mean?
Daddy, you know what "it" means.
Yes, I do.
But I want to know if
you know what "it" means.
"It" means... holding
hands and kissing.
Holding hands and kissing?
Yes, but that's not
all that "it" means.
What else does "it" mean?
It means... uh...
Do homework. "It" is homework.
Baby, do my
homework all night long.
Okay.
Okay.
♪ Baby, do my
homework all night long ♪
There you go. Can do.
Oh, sounds like
you're making tea.
Yes, would you
like a cup of tea?
No, but I figured if I showed
you this sweepstakes envelope,
you might know what you
could do with that teapot there.
Are you suggesting
that I place that envelope
near the steam so
it might open up?
I'm merely bringing
it up as a possibility.
Well, I think that as a son,
you have hit an all-time low.
You're right, Dad.
I'll just put this back.
Now, because I don't
trust you, my boy,
I am going to keep this
envelope away from you,
because I don't
trust anything you do.
How dare you suggest
that I do something like this?
Do you understand
what I'm saying to you?
Don't ever try it again.
You know, you two are
pathetic, pitiful, and predictable.
You see, you got me
in a whole lot of trouble.
♪♪
Listen, I apologize for
acting like a sleaze, okay?
Think nothing of it.
Good, I'm going to
sit over here with you.
Do a little light reading.
Oh, what should I read?
What should I read?
I say, I'll close my
eyes and let's get a...
What is this I'm touching?
You were spying on me.
Yes, you were spying.
No, I wasn't, dear,
but I think you could go to jail
for hiding people's mail, you know?
Hey!
Hey, how you doing?
There they are, the Rollipops.
How did it go?
Mom, we learned one thing today.
We don't need singing
lessons from Miss Woods.
Yeah, she didn't
even let us sing.
All we did was go bee bee
bee bee bo bo bo bo bo.
Zinga zinga zee,
zinga zinga zay.
I mean, I don't
want to sing like that.
Well, now wait a minute now.
I don't think you're being fair to Miss
Woods and what she's trying to do.
Let me give you an example.
I understand that you all
want to get right to the song,
but she took you
through some exercise,
probably some breathing
things, am I correct?
Same thing happened to
me. I wanted to be a drummer.
I had my own set, taught
myself up in the room.
Then I heard Art Blakey play.
I bought his records, tried
to copy what he was doing.
I couldn't get it. I
didn't know what it was.
So I went down to a teacher.
I said, "Now, what
I want to learn,
"is how he does with the
left hand, dih dih dih dih dih,
while the right hand's,
ding ding ding?"
So the man said, "I know
exactly what you're talking about."
He said, "Here we
go." Put the set aside.
He pulled out a little block,
and he took the sticks and
he said, "Now you do like this."
Whack... whack.
Whack... whack.
I said, "But I don't want to
go whack, whack, whack.
I want to go ziggety-ziggety
ziggety-ziggety."
He says, "In order to get
to ziggety-ziggety-ziggety,
you got to go whack,
whack, whack."
Well, Dad, that's a great story,
but it doesn't have
anything to do with us.
We don't play drums, we sing.
Yeah!
But you don't sing well.
Yet!
- We don't have to sing well.
- You don't?
No, see, there's this
new group called W4.
And?
They can't sing.
But when they're in
the recording studio,
they have a recording
engineer that fixes their voices.
So that's what we're gonna do.
Wait until you see
what we look like.
We bought new
outfits and everything.
Why don't you wait down here?
We'll go put on the outfits
and we'll show you our routine.
All right, we'll be here.
Motion! Motion!
Mom, Dad, we're ready!
Okay.
Okay, so where are they?
They have to
make their entrance.
Oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting
live in the Huxtable living room,
the new, the
improved, Lipsticks!
♪ Everybody's doing a
brand new dance now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ I know you're gonna like
it if you give it a try now ♪
♪ Come on, baby,
do the locomotion ♪
♪ My little baby sister
can do it with ease ♪
♪ It's easier than
learning your ABC's ♪
♪ So, come on, come on, and
do the locomotion with me ♪
♪ You gotta swing
your hips now ♪
Mom, why did you do that?
Yeah, Mrs. Huxtable,
we're not finished yet.
Yes, you are.
I thought they were hot.
Maybe you should go up
to your room and cool off.
Aw, man.
Mrs. Huxtable, is
there something wrong?
I don't know who
you think you are,
but you are not the people who just
came down here in my living room,
half-dressed, flinging parts
from one end to the other.
Are my eyes deceiving me?
Aren't you all swollen in areas
where you weren't swollen before?
Thank you.
Because I definitely
detect some growth!
Mom!
That's part of our outfits.
The only part of your
clothing that you will be allowed
to stuff things into
will be your pockets.
Now you take this and go
upstairs and put some clothes on!
Now I'm not your mother, but I feel safe
in saying that I speak for them when I say,
"Go cover yourselves
immediately!"
Come on, guys.
Yes, Mrs. Huxtable.
You know, I finally thought they
were open enough to understand
I'm not a child anymore.
Don't put those
tissues back in the box!
Did you see Miss Cara with
that bra on top of her leotard?
Tell me!
Did I see it, I... We
have made a mistake.
We have planted roses, but
we keep getting these weeds.
See now what...
Sonya's in the wilderness,
Denise is in the jungle,
and she's on the locomotion?
You better take that
war paint off of your faces
before their mothers
come in here and see me.
They'll be blaming me!
Yeah, now let's...
Running around here
dressed in nothing.
Jumping around like they
just hopped off the hot seat.
Suppose some fool comes around
and sees that, takes them seriously?
Vanessa could end up on a stage
somewhere across the country, Cliff,
in a smoke-filled cafe, singing
and dancing and gyrating like that.
I won't be around to
take the tissues out then.
No, no. See...
What do they know?
What do they know?
Easy as doing your ABC's.
Miss 1400 on the S.A.T.'s!
I got your locomotion down
here in the living room...
With a science book!
- Right.
- And take that makeup off!
That's right.
I can see it now, sitting in
a Hollywood swimming pool
with a remote phone in
her hand, calling me up.
"Hi, Mom, babe. Let's do lunch."
I'll not have it!
And that goes for me, too!
Vanessa, Clair, the show
starts at 8:30. We got five!
- Hey!
- Hey!
All right! How you doing?
Here's your mail right here.
Bang! There it is! All right!
I dropped your
mother off on the way.
Uh-huh.
Now did I tell you about
the fishing I did in Florida?
Yeah, okay, open this
up, will you please?
I think I'll wait and open
it in front of your mother.
No, don't wait...
In front of her...
You can do that...
Now wait a minute,
Cliff, calm down.
Have you been eating
some sugar products?
No, sir.
No, I haven't, Dad, but
just come on, open this up.
We'll tell Mom later.
All right, I'll open it, son.
There you go. All right.
There you go.
If you don't mind.
Uh-oh.
What?
Now this is truly unbelievable.
I have never won anything
in my life, and now this.
What? What?
Son, I am the winner of
a stainless steel toaster.
Makes up to eight slices.
I'm so lucky! I'll
see you later, son.
But listen, stop over any
time you want some toast.
♪♪
I like this club, Cliff.
Yes, you have to bring
me here again sometime.
This club doesn't fit
many people, does it?
No.
When we become famous, we
are going to fill football stadiums.
Well, except when we're in London,
because then we'll play in soccer stadiums.
In Spain, we're gonna
play in the bull rings.
God, I hope there
aren't any bulls in there.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Count's proudly presents
Miss Amanda Woods.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
♪ To have his love ♪
♪ Is all that a
girl could want ♪
♪ To hold him close is heaven ♪
♪ To watch the sun
come up each day ♪
♪ With joy, I took a chance ♪
♪ And there he was ♪
♪ With me ♪
♪ Look what I got ♪
♪ To kiss every night now ♪
♪ Look what I got now ♪
♪ To hold hands
in the park with ♪
♪ I got a man ♪
♪ I got a brand new dance ♪
♪ Motion ♪
♪ Motion ♪
♪ Look what I got ♪
♪ I got love, I got love ♪
♪ I got love ♪
♪♪
The Cosby Show is taped
before a studio audience.
Subtitled By J.R. Media
Services, Inc. Burbank, CA