The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 5, Episode 5 - Out of Brooklyn - full transcript

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Mom. Did I get any phone calls?

Uh... Janet called.
And then Kara called.

I think it was Kara. She talks
so fast, I can never understand.

Yeah, that's Kara.
And anyone else?

No, honey. That's it.

Nobody else? Are you sure?

Well, if you're talking
about Roy, he didn't call.

- Roy?
- Yeah, Roy. You remember him.

The boy you talk to on the
phone every time I turn around.



Oh, yeah. Well, I'm tired of him
pestering me and calling here every day.

I don't wanna hear from him.

Dad? Did anyone call
for me at your office?

Call for you at my
office? On my phone?

Why would somebody want to
call on my phone, and ask for you?

Did you give my number out?

No!

I'm glad nobody called! I
don't want any phone calls.

Dumbest things ever invented.
Alexander Graham Bell was stupid!

What's that all about?
She got a pimple?

No, I think we're having
a little trouble with Roy.

Roy? Well, that's what it is.

We got another one turning 15.

And the boys are
starting to ruin their lives.



- And ours.
- Mom? Dad? Are you home?

I have something
I want to tell you!

Oh, Lord.

Might be good.

How long have you lived here?

Come on.

Oh, God...

- Hey.
- Oh, good!

I'm glad you're home. Sit down.

So, what do you have to tell us?

Well... I quit my job.

Where are you going?

There's more?

I haven't even got
to the good part yet!

Sit.

Okay, so things didn't work out
for you at the pizza parlor, huh?

Dad, I quit my job at the pizza
parlor about two weeks ago.

I've had two jobs since then.

Denise, you never told us you
quit the job at the pizza parlor.

But, Mom, it was a nowhere job.

I mean, the next step up was me

flipping the dough in
the air and catching it.

All right. What job
did you take after that?

The job that you quit to take
the job you're quitting now.

Well, that one I got fired from.

Now, see, I was working
as a messenger for...

Ellio, the fashion designer.

His real name's Elliott, but he
makes everyone call him Ellio.

Anyways, I was having
lunch at a coffee shop,

and I sort of
forgot his sketches,

on the counter for
his entire spring line.

And... when I went back,
someone had stolen them.

That's when Ellio fired you.

Yeah. I did insist that he pay me for
the three hours I worked for him, though.

Did you ask him about
your Christmas bonus?

I'm really happy with
the job I have now,

which is a receptionist
at the Pyramid gallery.

But this is the job
you're quitting?

Well, Dad, you'd quit, too, if you had
the chance to get the job that I might get!

- What's the job?
- It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

What is the job?

I don't think I could
explain it as well

as the woman that I'd be
working for, so I invited her over.

She can explain everything
that you need to know about me...

Going to Africa.

Africa.

The pygmies live in Africa, and I
sort of need to be near them for this job.

When did they ask for you?

Elizabeth, the woman
who's coming over here,

is a photographer,
and I want to go with her

to take pictures of
the pygmies in Africa.

She wants me to
be her assistant.

Denise, you have never expressed
interest in pygmies or Africa.

Well, that's because I've never
known anything about them

until I saw Elizabeth's
photographs at the gallery.

I mean, they're incredible.

And then she described
what it's like there.

So fascinating.

The pygmies believe that
they are one with nature.

They live in complete harmony.

And because there's
no competition,

they don't spend
their whole lives

trying to climb the
ladder of success.

Now I understand.

'Cause you'll
fit right in there.

You'll fit right in.
As a matter of fact,

you won't even
have to take an exam.

They'll just... you'll go right
straight to Honorary Pygmy.

- Hey, Vanessa.
- Hi.

What's the matter with you?

Are you having
problems with Roy?

I don't wanna talk about Roy.

He doesn't mean anything to me.

That's not what you
were saying two days ago.

You were saying,
"Roy! My love! My all!

My only reason to live."

Rudy, stop it!

You know how else I know
you're having boy problems?

How?

Knocked over your
orange juice at breakfast.

Whenever you're
having boy problems,

you knock things over.

- I do?
- Yes.

What are you writing?

- A poem.
- Can I read it?

Sure. Why not?

Thank you.

Nice penmanship.

"I am alone in a field.

"It's over.

"The sun has set, but no
one has said good night.

"It's over."

"I step on a cricket.

"He makes no sound.

He's over."

You've got it bad.

What do you know
about love, anyway?

I know plenty!

I know that I'm gonna have
love the way I want it, or not at all.

You can't control
the way love happens!

Yes, I can.

If a boy ever tells me he
doesn't love me anymore,

I'm gonna tell him,
"You're wrong, Sporty.

You're gonna love me until I
tell you not to love me anymore!"

Look, Rudy, you're too young.

You don't understand love.
It doesn't work that way.

Well, it sure doesn't
work your way.

How many centimeters is she?

Dumb pencils. Can't they make
them so they stay where you put them?

- Oof!
- Are you finished?

Dad, I'm sorry.

I just needed a pencil
because Kara and Janet

are coming over to
do homework with me.

Janet and Kara.

Kara, the one that talks so fast

I don't understand a
single word she's saying?

Really? I understand
every word she says.

Oh, there they are now.

Janet and Turbo-Tongue.

Dad? Be nice.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Is it true that things can really
happen? Because I think it is.

I think we're the ones that
dreams are gonna come true for.

You better ask why, 'cause I know,
and I have to tell you, like, right now!

Kara, don't make her wait!

Tell her what's going on!

This is exactly what's going on!

We're getting you, me, and Janet

three tickets to look,
listen, and drool at...

Are you listening? 'Cause
I hope you're listening.

'Cause if you are,
you are gonna die!

Tom E. Tame and
the New Tame Gang!

- Wow!
- Can you believe it?

And I'm told those tickets are
for backstage, because they are!

Right backstage! We
all know what that means.

I mean, Tommy could walk right by us
after the concert, and he probably will!

Then he might actually touch
us, then ask us to go out to dinner

- with the band after the concert!
- Right!

I bet he will!

And I bet he'll bring the band along,
because they're probably starved,

I'm sure they're too nervous to eat
before the concert, and during the concert,

well, I'm sure they
just work up a really

huge appetite when
they tour their brains out!

- Oh, you know it!
- You could bring Roy!

Roy? I wouldn't invite him
to a dog fight. He's stupid.

Vanessa, are you having
problems with Roy?

We'll talk about it in my room.

I knew that boy was no good
the minute I set eyes on him.

He carries his backpack
on one shoulder, and

he thinks he's so cool.
And he can't dance!

You need to dance with someone who
can dance just as well as you can dance.

And you dance really well!

Okay. What happened?

Greg Zinzer told me that
Freddie Timmons told him

that Roy is going around school
telling people that he broke up with me!

No!

Yes!

And so I went up to Roy in the
hall and I said, "What's going on?"

What did he say?

He said, "I can't talk now. I
have to go to Chemistry class."

Did he expect
you to believe that?

He gets Cs in Chemistry!

He doesn't even
care about Chemistry!

I know! He's just trying
to avoid facing me.

Vanessa, if it's over
between you and Roy,

maybe you should
just accept that it's over.

Hey, it's not over
until I say it's over.

Ooh! I never heard
you talk like this.

Where did you get that?

Rudy.

These are photographs
of the pygmy women

of the Ituri rain
forest in Zaire.

It's very striking.

See, Mom? Didn't I tell you
these photographs were exciting?

- You do beautiful work.
- Thank you.

I'm working on a book
of my photographs.

It's a three-year project,

and I hope to get the
photographs I need

for the third section of
my book with this trip.

I'd like to hear about your
living conditions on this trip.

This is very basic living.

We're gonna be
staying in small huts,

and we're gonna sleep on mats.

And does Denise know that
there is no cable television?

Dad, of course I know that.

It's completely natural, the
way life was meant to be.

- What will you eat?
- The pygmies are hunter/gatherers.

So their main diet is
boiled roots and wild leaves.

Yum-yum.

They also eat meat,
such as antelope.

And they'll eat snails, and
termites, and grubs, and beetles.

Denise is going to eat bugs?

Mom, bugs are a very
good source of protein.

I see. Well, how do you
like yours? Raw, or al dente?

- Actually, they cook the beetles.
- Mm-hm.

They throw them on hot
coals. They peel back the wings.

They pull off the legs and the
belly plate, and they pop 'em in.

Mm-mm! My father said, "Never
throw away a good belly plate."

No... we'd put 'em with a hamhock,
and add some water to that boy.

You could... we'd sit there...

all night long, we'd
crunch away. You know?

I hope I'm not discouraging you

from letting
Denise take this job.

One question. Why...
would you hire...

Denise?

Denise told me about all
the jobs she's had lately.

And frankly, she sounds
just exactly like me at that age,

when I was trying
to find myself.

Okay. so you know
Denise's track record.

Let me ask you this.
What are you going to do

when one day, in the
middle of the rain forest,

Miss Denise comes up to
you and says, "I am tired..."

- Mm-hm...
- "of sleeping on this mat,

"now, and eating these
boiled leaves and these bugs.

I wanna go home."

Mom, I'm not gonna say that.

Let's just say that
you do say that.

The pygmies are very protective.

And one of them would
guide her out of the forest,

to the nearest dirt road.

That's about a
20 or 30 mile hike.

From there, she would
hitch a ride on a supply truck,

another hundred miles,
to the nearest field station.

When a plane
becomes available...

Be... becomes available?

Yes, she'll be picked
up in a clearing.

Then she'll fly
another thousand miles

to the nearest city
with a major airport.

And if it's not
the rainy season,

I'd say the whole trip shouldn't
take any more than two weeks.

You know, I just feel
stupid using a travel agent.

Yes, Sheri.

That was an incredible
good night kiss.

It was like the sun
had entered my body,

and was radiating energy

out to my fingers and toes.

Then, I floated out of my body,

and just hovered over us.

And then you joined me,

and we floated, hand in hand,

into the cosmos.

Mom?

What are you doing on the line?

Uh... how long have
you been listening?

No, Sheri, no! Don't hang up...

Mom, look what you did.

No, no... come on.
Don't make fun of me.

Sheri likes it when
I talk to her like that.

Yeah, I'm sure. All I did
was kiss her good night.

Okay. Bye.

Theo.

Did anybody call for me?

I wouldn't know. I
was on the phone.

You are always on the phone!

You know, there are
other people in this house!

You must be expecting a
phone call from Roy, huh?

- I might be.
- I thought he dumped you.

How could you say
that, you insensitive jerk?

You're not supposed to say
things like that! You're my brother!

Oh, this is all so stupid...

Hey! Vanessa! I just
made this popcorn!

I'm sorry, Theo! I
didn't see the bowl!

Just lashing out at everyone...

You don't wanna eat
this any more, do you?

I'll go in the kitchen! I'll
make you a whole new thing...

Oh! Wait, Vanessa!

This is my Econ book.

This thing cost me $29.

Theo, I'm sorry! I'll
clean it up for you...

No, no. Don't touch it.

I'll go into the kitchen, and
I'll get some paper towels.

Dad, you've gotta do
something about Vanessa.

She blew up at me for no reason,

she knocked my
popcorn all over the floor,

and she spilled milk
all over my Econ book.

The book I paid $29 for?

Yeah, Dad. She's losin' it.
You gotta straighten her out.

What seems to be the problem?

I don't know. Something
about the phone, Roy...

The babe is freaked out.

Oh, no, no. You
gotta understand, man.

She's 15 years old. You
just have to have patience.

Give me... gimme this.
Just... just cool out, all right?

Hi.

Dad, I'm sorry.

I spilled milk all
over the place,

and I spilled some popcorn.

Okay. Here. Come
on. Just sit down.

Sit down. Sit down.

O... over here, hon.

All right now, my love.
Now what's the problem?

- What's happening? Come on. Talk to me.
- About what?

Talk to me about
what's bothering you.

- What your problem is. Huh?
- Dad, nothing's bothering me!

- I'm fine.
- Okay. You're fine.

Now why don't you
tell me about Roy, then?

All right, Dad.

My friends are telling me that
Roy is going around telling people

that he broke up with me,
but he hasn't called to tell me!

But that's not
what's upsetting me.

It's the fact that he
hasn't called to tell me!

You want me to go over to Roy's
house and tell him to call you?

Dad, he has to
call me on his own.

I can't call him!

If the guy's gonna
break up with me,

I'd at least think he'd have
the decency to call me.

Really?

You think that guys are the
only people who don't call back?

Women and girls
don't call, either,

I will have you know.

When I was young, I
met this girl named Marie.

And she didn't call me.

You mean there was
somebody before Mom?

Of course there was
someone before your mother.

It's... I met this
girl named Marie.

She was gorgeous. So I
went up to her, and I said,

"You know, I really like
you very, very much."

And she said, "I think
that you are wonderful too."

I said, "Well, I think that we
would make a wonderful couple."

So I said, "Here's
my phone number.

Please call me. I will
wait by the phone."

I went home. I
waited by the phone.

I sat on the phone. My mother
and father wanted to use the phone.

I said, "Please
don't use the phone.

Whatever you have to do,
go to town, talk to the people."

But she did not
call, I'm telling you.

Finally, I got a call.

- Was it Marie?
- No. It was your mother.

Dad, was this a story just
to make me feel better?

Of course it was.

- Thank you, Daddy.
- All right, dear.

What is taking them so long?

They've talked to Elizabeth.
They've talked to Elizabeth's parents.

They've talked to each other.

Can't they just say yes or no?

Well, I hope you get to go.

And I'm not just saying that
because I'll get my room back.

What'd they say?

I had my ear right to the door.

And all I heard was,

"Denise", "quitter",
and "dropout."

- That's all you heard?
- No.

But then I heard Daddy say,

"Rudy, get away from the door."

That's it. I'm not going.
The chance of a lifetime.

It'll never happen to me again.

Hello.

- Hi.
- First of all, I want you to understand

that I didn't appreciate
your sending a spy.

And on top of that,
you sent a lousy spy.

I'm sorry. I was
just a little anxious.

Well, your father and I
have reached a decision.

- Denise...
- Uh...

Before you tell
Denise your decision,

I'd like to say that I think
Denise should go to Africa.

Remember two years ago, you sent
me on the Outward Bound program?

I was in the wilderness for
two weeks, and I learned a lot.

You learned that you didn't
want to go Outward Bound again.

Forget it, Theo. Just let
them give me the bad news.

Your father and I have debated
every aspect of this question,

and the decision that we've
reached has not been an easy one.

I knew it. I'm not
going. I knew it.

- May I finish, please?
- Yes.

We've decided that, as far as
this trip to Africa is concerned,

the answer's yes.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute now.

We still have a few
questions to ask Elizabeth.

I'm sure she'll be happy to
answer anything you need to know.

Oh, I am so excited. You guys, don't
worry about me. I'm gonna be fine.

I know where I'm going is
gonna be difficult and rugged.

But the most difficult part is
gonna be being away from you guys.

I really enjoyed being back
here. It's been really nice.

And I hope you
think of me a little bit,

'cause I'm gonna be thinking
about you while I'm away, every day.

You lie.

At least once a week.

- That's better. Thank you.
- Gonna miss you.

- Yeah. Me, too, sis.
- Me, too.

- It is not gonna be the
same here without you.

Yes! I got my room back!

I love life!

I'll get it!

Hello. Huxtable residence.

Well, well, well.

We've been expecting
to hear from you.

- Vanessa! It's Roy.
- Roy?

Let him have it!
Show him no mercy!

I'm gonna take this
in the other room.

Rudy, come with me. I
might need some help.

I got it!

Roy, I wanna talk to you.

Yeah, Vanessa. I
wanna talk to you, too.

Well, you're gonna
listen to me first.

Do you know what
you put me through?

- I'm sorry.
- Well, you should be sorry!

How come I have to
hear from other people

that you broke up with me?

I never said that I
broke up with you!

- You didn't?
- No!

Then how come you
didn't call me back?

And how come you didn't
talk to me in the hallway?

Greg Zinzer told Freddy Timmons

that you told people
that you were mad at me.

Wait a minute. Those
are the same guys

who said that you said
that we were breaking up.

I never said that!

I said, "I hope we
never break up."

- You really said that?
- Yeah.

So I guess this means we're
getting back together, huh?

We never broke up.

Okay, let's meet
at the mall tonight.

Okay. Bye bye.

How come you
didn't let him have it?

Roy is a gentleman, Rudy.

And he was trying
to protect my feelings.

Oh, man. Love's a joke.

No, it's not! Not if you
have a guy like Roy.

Yes! Thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you!

In two days, she'll be writing
about dead crickets again.

♪♪

The Cosby Show is taped
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