The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 5, Episode 18 - The Boys of Winter - full transcript

♪♪ [orchestra tunes up]

♪♪ [theme]

That's right!

They've been teaching him
something at medical school.

Loser's ball, loser's ball.

All right, Howard, cut left.

Cut right.

Low post.

High post. Got him?

Foul, foul, foul!

Foul? Man, you
ran into the wall.



That's not a foul,
that's stupidity.

That's a foul! Get out of here.

Wait, any blood? Any
blood? Blood? Blood?

No. No blood no foul.

- Fellas, can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.

I want you guys to
meet a living legend here.

Cliff, don't do that
to me. [laughs]

This is Coach Bill
Barry from Philadelphia.

When I played in the city
league this was my coach.

Mr. Barry, it's
nice to meet you.

My dad's been talking
about you for years.

Seen some pretty
impressive moves out here.

You guys pay attention
to what he says

because he's helped a lot
of hoodlums like yourselves.



My dad use to be on
Coach Barry's team.

When they won the championship,
my dad scored the winning basket.

Your father told you that?

- Yeah.
- Well, he did play in the game.

But as I recall...

when the winning shot was made,
he was sitting next to me on the bench.

I made the shot from the bench?

Hey, Dr. Huxtable, do
you want to play with us?

You can show your old
coach some of your moves.

Come on, Dad, play.

No, I didn't bring Coach Barry down
here to watch me play basketball.

You guys go ahead.
I'd love to see you play.

Oh, why not? You
know you want to do it.

We'll take it easy
on you. Real easy.

Yeah, pop, come on.

Grandpop.

Fellas, you'll never
get him to play.

Aw, why not?

Because he played in a game recently
that kind of soured him on basketball.

What could have possibly
soured you on basketball?

Well, nothing.

It's just that, you
know, it's cold out.

Come on, I'll buy
you a cup of tea.

Well, Dad, I'll tell the fellas
when you guys go inside.

You'll tell them nothing.

Our ball, it's our ball.

That's it. All
right, there you go.

Now wait a minute, Coach.

I thought that it was me who
scored the winning basket

in the championship game.

Cliff, we were behind by one
point with ten seconds to go.

I would never put you in the
game in a situation like that.

Well, why is it that I remember
making the winning basket?

- You did.
- I did?

But before I sat you on the
bench, you had gotten the rebound

and fell on your face hard.

Zoom!

The ball hit the floor, bounced up,
and went into the other team's basket.

The other team came
over and shook your hand.

Now how could you be so
old and remember all that?

Whoo!

Oh, these young guys,
can't keep up with them.

[Cliff laughs] Oh!

Yeah. Please, I don't
even want to hear about it.

You're 24 years old. What
do you mean "young guys"?

But, you know, I'm
playing with 18-year-olds.

This is rough.

Let me tell you
something, an 18-year-old

and a 24-year-old, the same age.

Your lungs are pink,
your arteries are pumping,

heart is pumping, and you
have an abundance of saliva.

I need to sit down.

You know, Dad, I feel
bad that those guys were

ribbing you like that
outside, I really do,

but what exactly was it that
soured you on basketball?

You can tell me.

It won't go any
further than this room.

Zip the lip.

Nothing soured me,
per se, on basketball.

I just don't want
to play it anymore.

Dad, don't you think it
would be a good idea

to share it with someone
who could understand?

Nothing happened!

Now get out of here!

Go play some basketball
until you get my age.

I'm going, I'm going.

Just, you know, if you want
to talk, you know where I am.

I'm out there. Anytime, Dad.

Now that he's gone, what
did sour you on basketball?

Your face.

Hey.

Dad, this book is great!

It has pictures of you in it
playing ball when you were young.

How come you never
showed this to us?

[mockingly] How come I
never showed it to you?

This book... I've had this
book out about a hundred times.

I've said to every child in the
house, "Look. Come, look at Dad.

Here's some old pictures of Dad
playing basketball and football."

"Oh, we got to go." Pyung,
pyung, pyung, pyung, pyung!

I had it on the table there.

You know what you guys
did? Put your drinks on top of it.

Sorry, Dad.

Ooh, is this you, Dad? Number 7?

Yeah. [laughs]

You were pretty
good-looking back then.

You had big ears.

[Vanessa giggling]

It was the haircut, dear.

No, it's not the haircut.
You just had big ears.

Did your ears get
smaller as you got older?

Take your hands
off my ears, will you?

Well, I guess your
head got bigger.

Ooh, I like this
picture of number 10.

He has fine legs.

Nice ears, too.

I'd play in a game
with him anytime.

Yeah. [giggling]

Vanessa, this man
is 52 years old now.

Turn the page.

Hey, I like this
picture even better.

Well, see, this is your father
and we're playing street football.

We're playing in
front of the house.

How come you don't
let us play in the street?

Uh... I'm waiting.

This is in the '50s, see?

1950 something or other.

And there were
no cars at that time.

In the 1950s there were cars.

And as a matter of fact, there was
a Russian satellite named Sputnik.

That is absolutely correct.
And you know what?

The Sputnik, uh, came down.

And they said, well, what if
Sputnik came down and exploded?

There would be pieces
of it all over the place

and would probably hurt
little boys playing football,

so they took all the children
off the street from that point on.

There you go.

Clair, you have a lovely home.

Well, thank you, Mrs. Barry.

Bill, honey. Yeah?

Clair has a videotape of a game
that Cliff played in just last month.

Is that right?

Oh, I don't think Dad wants
anyone to see that tape.

He was really out of shape.

It's all right, I don't
mind rolling the tape.

It's just that
dinner is so close

so we ought to go in there
and have something to eat now.

We have time.

Come on, show the tape, Cliff. I
want to see the Hammer in action.

Yes, "the Hammer,"
that's what they used to

call your father back
in the good old days.

Because when he fouled
someone, they stayed fouled.

I think your father's nickname
should have been "the Stomach."

My husband Bill used
to bring all the boys over

after the game and
I had food ready.

Cliff out-ate the entire team.

That's why we never
had children of our own,

because after Cliff, we
couldn't afford to feed them.

No, no, let me tell you
something on your husband, see.

First of all, after every
game, we were showering,

he would come and he'd say,
"Now fellas, please don't forget

"to get in the car with me
because I need you guys.

If you guys don't come home,
my wife doesn't cook for me."

I think all that talk about
food has made me hungry.

I'm ready. You're not hungry.

You just don't want
us to see this tape.

What tape is it?

See, a group of doctors
at the hospital got together

and challenged a group of lab
technicians to a game of basketball.

The doctors were Cliff's age, the lab
technicians were 20 years younger...

and all women.

You played women?

I happen to have it right
here. I could just put the...

I don't think it's necessary
to play that, dear.

Dad? Huh?

Take it like a man.

Why don't you go
outside, play with Sputnik.

Listen, I'm not going
to run this whole thing,

because we're going
to have to have dinner.

So I'll just fast forward...

Thank you, I'll
take care of this.

Don't worry, I'll be fair.

Who made the tape?

The audio/visual
department at the hospital.

Cliff offered them
$100 to burn the tape.

Okay, here we have
the men warming up.

[Vanessa] Yeah, all right, Dad.

[Bill] Looking pretty
good there, Cliff.

You can tell it's the old
Hammer moves coming back.

Now, I don't know
what Cliff is doing here.

Maybe you can tell me, Coach.

[Bill] That's a passing drill.

You're doing it just
the way I taught you.

Thank you.

See, whenever the first team was

practicing, I'd have
your dad do this drill.

He never missed the wall once.

[Clair] Now here
comes the other team.

[Girls] Oh!

All right! All women.

Now, I want you to look at the men's
faces when they see the other team,

knowing that they have
already won the game.

But the doctors had their
shining moments, look.

[Cliff] Wall practice.

Zap, bap, boom,
zonk, to... All right!

All right! All right!
[everyone cheering]

Nice teamwork there, Cliff.

No, I never touched the ball.

There you go.

They used you just like I did.

Take a look at this.

Hey, Wally.

- Check it out.
- Yeah, go, Dad!

There you go. And... all right!

Dad, you missed the shot.

That wasn't a shot.

See, you don't know
anything about basketball.

That was a pass. See how...

Oh, Cliff, please.
No, back the thing up.

Please back it up. Back it up.

All right, here I am.
Now run it forward.

I'm running in, I
see the man cut,

I make the pass on
the backboard follow-up.

There, bam!

Looks like a shot to me.

Let's look at some of your
dad's great moments here.

Thank you.

[Cliff] Yes. There I am.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Yeah!
- There you go.

- Zom! Aw.
- [whistle blows]

Look, why... Let's go to dinner.

No, no, I'm going to fast forward
to another bright moment in the sun.

[Clair] All right...

now this is a good
moment for Cliff.

Watch this.

[Cliff] Watch. Check it out.

There... Oh, he should have
gone in, but he gave it back to me.

Now... See?

No. She fouled me.

She fouled me and the
ref didn't call anything.

[Rudy] Yes!

Yay!

Now that was
great. [girls yelling]

Now do me a favor, now don't...
Aren't there any good moments?

I thought that was one.

Here, let's try this. Right.

[Cliff] All right. Check me out.

[Clair] I don't know
where we are, but...

Check me out, I still have it.

Oh yeah, this is
good. Now this is good.

There you go.

[Girls] Yeah!

Now... showboat, showboat.

[Bill] That's okay.

Whenever Cliff got a
basket, we all celebrated.

He had some great moments.
They didn't last very long.

Come on.

[Cliff] Now watch the pass.

Yeah. Watch the pass, Coach.

Look at that. Didn't
have to slow down.

Right in there. Great pass.

- See, the passing drill paid off.
- Thank you.

Yeah!

- All right, moving ahead here.
- Please.

All right.

Rebound, going down.

Here he comes. There you go!

[Girls] Yes, yes.

[Vanessa] Yeah, Dad!

Mm-hmm. [whistle blows]

No, somebody moved
the basket on me.

Moved the basket.

So after that shot, the
team decided to put Cliff

where they thought
he'd be most useful.

[all laughing]

I'm taking a rest.

[Clair] Oh, come on, now.

Can we go to dinner, please?

Would you wait a minute,
now? The best is yet to come.

Yes, the women are fierce.

Yes. Yes, they are... Wow!

[Vanessa] Ooh!

Spectacular play.

Now this is the kind of
team I'd like to coach.

You know, you can go home now.

Sometimes it looked like Cliff
was playing for the women.

[Bill] Uh-oh.

[Vanessa] All right, all right.

- Yes, just give her the ball.
- Well, she was...

[Clair laughing]
I couldn't see it.

Now wait a minute, how tall was she
that you couldn't have blocked that shot?

Well, 4' 1" or something.
I was trying to guard my...

Now I want to show you what happens at
the sound of the buzzer in the first half.

Watch carefully.

[applause]

[Mrs. Barry] Cliff!

She was in my way.

She wasn't in your way.

Clair, show me that
again in slow motion.

- Yes, ma'am.
- No, no, you don't have to...

[Mrs. Barry] See?
You pushed that child.

Yeah, but you should have heard
the nasty things she said about my wife.

[Mrs. Barry] Oh, go on.

Now... [laughing]

we will move ahead.

Please.

[Clair, Bill laughing]

[Cliff] Look at me.

- Check it out.
- Go ahead, go ahead.

All right, up with the jump.

[whistle blows]

[laughter]

That was your dying
duck shot. Yeah.

Okay, now look at this.

[Clair] Starting to get pitiful.

[all laughing]

Boom. Oh!

[Vanessa] Great fake!

[Rudy] Yeah!

Yeah, but she made the
lay-up with the wrong hand.

Please.

I am going to mercifully push
forward to the fourth quarter.

I want you to see what kind
of shape the men were in.

Now can you tell
me... [laughing]

is the man playing
offense, defense,

or is he on a five-minute break?

Or does he... Or does he care?

All right, the audio/visual department
has strung some shots together

so we can see what the last
three minutes of the game were like.

I would like to string dinner.

[Clair giggling]

[Vanessa] Ooh! Yes!

[Rudy] Wipe out!

[Cliff] See, this
isn't even fair.

[Clair] You're right.

They're making it
look like we never shot.

You didn't. [Bill laughing]

[girls giggling]

The men are frustrated,
especially the Hammer.

[Cliff] All right.

[whistle blows] All right.

Hey! [blows whistle]

[girls laughing]

[Mrs. Barry] You
deserved that, Cliff.

I'll spare you the final
score. Let's go to dinner.

Yes!

Yes!

Yay!

Cliff, I really
enjoyed that tape.

You should be proud of yourself.

As usual, you gave
110% of yourself.

Well, thank you, Coach.

Because I owe it all to you.

All I did was try to work
with what God gave you,

and God wanted
you to be a doctor.

[sighs]

Ah, well, goodnight, dear.

Goodnight?

Yeah. I'm not tired.

Well, why don't you get
a paper or something?

Getting the paper was
not what I had in mind.

I'm just still thinking about
how bad I looked in that tape.

Honey, don't be depressed
because some women beat you

at a game of basketball.

It isn't losing to
women. It's just that I...

To think about myself at age 16

running up and down the court.

And then to see myself at 51

not running up
and down the court.

But thinking back to
that 16-year-old boy,

he was a heck of a boy.

Yes, he was. I saw you at 16.

You were something to behold.

I'm telling you...

I had set everything in my mind,

at age 51, that I
wasn't going to jump...

And you saw when I made
that lay-up, I was only this high,

But I made a mistake.

After I made the basket
and I ran downcourt real fast,

and I was pumping, doing like this,
and when I got down the other end,

and I stopped...

I mean, my body, my lungs,
my legs, everything said,

"What do you
think you're doing?"

I stood there and the
woman stole the ball from me.

Now ordinarily, if you would
steal a ball from the Hammer,

the Hammer would chase
you all the way down.

And even if you were
ahead and you were going up,

the Hammer would catch
you and foul you in a way

that you would never...

Even if you took the ball from the
Hammer, you would give it back to him.

That's right.

And that woman took
that ball away from me

and I was so tired...

I stood there and I just
watched her dribble down.

She made the basket.

And you know what
I said to justify it?

It ain't nothing but two points.

I tell you, you saw
me when I was 16.

You know what that 16-year-old
boy was like, the Hammer.

You were the Hammer.

- Yes.
- And you were great.

You know my favorite
game that I ever saw you play

was against the
Mt. Airy Badgers.

Yeah, yeah.

You remember that? Sure do.

- Bonky Rose and all the guys.
- Bonky Rose.

Bonky Rose stole the
ball from T. Parham.

Sonny Hill stole it from him.

You stole it from Sonny Hill, and
Claude Grossman stole it from you.

Anyway, you got up and you were
mad, so you walked over and took the ball

from Philip Howell, who
was just standing there.

To this day we do not know what
Philip was doing standing there.

Well, he was known to
sleep a lot just standing up.

- And you started to dribble.
- Look out.

- Down the court.
- Down the court.

And standing there
in front of the basket...

Hello.

Was Bozo "the Wall" Walker.

That's right, that's right.

Six feet, ten inches,
239 pounds of arms.

And the coach would put
him in front of the basket

and say, "Now, Bozo, anybody
that comes up to you, eat them."

I stopped my
dribble at the foul line.

And I knew he was
there. I knew he was there.

And I took off in the air,
had the ball in this hand,

went around my back twice,

still in the air,

and came with the
right hand and shot.

And... that's all I remember.

You made the basket.

I did?

The reason you don't remember,
honey, is because you got knocked out.

You won the game by one point.

That must be the game I keep talking
about that the coach doesn't remember.

Boy, we use to have
some times, yeah.

That's what it's all
about, isn't it? Memories.

Which is why you ought to come over
here right now so we can make a memory.

You know...

I think you're
absolutely correct,

because what it's all about
is what you do now, isn't it?

- Yes.
- No matter how old you are?

Yes.

You could be 72 and make
a memory for tomorrow.

- You see?
- Or even two minutes from now.

You see? Whoo.

And... And if we're careful,

we could have a good time right
now, and that will be a memory, won't it?

Mm-hmm.

Oh... [giggling]

I'm going to turn out the light.

Please do that.

Because memories are
ofttimes much better in the dark.

Now don't hurt yourself.

♪♪ [theme]

[Announcer] The Cosby Show
is taped before a studio audience.

Subtitled By J.R. Media
Services, Inc. Burbank, CA