The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 5, Episode 1 - Together Again and Again - full transcript

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Denise!

Yeah?

- Are you finished packing?
- Almost.

What time is Jennifer
coming to take you to Hillman?

Oh, uh, I'm not sure.

And, Theo, how about you?
Any more bags to bring down?

Just one more.
I'm almost finished.

Let's move it along here.

Your father's bringing
the car around front.



That's three kids
out of the house

and two more to go.

Hey, the car's out front!

Bring down the latest
Huxtable college student!

Hurry up!

He'll be right down.

Ooh, dear, do you realize

that we've almost reached our
goal of zero children in the house?

That room upstairs
that used to be his

- is gonna be mine.
- Speak on.

I'm turning Theo's
room into my office.

All right, I'm ready.

There he is! My
son. Off to college.

Boy, I'm proud of
you. Oh, my goodness.



- All right, let's hit it.
- Thanks, Dad.

Let me take out
some of these bags.

This trunk is heavy.
Let me help you.

Don't worry, honey, no problem.

I got lots of energy today.

Strong woman. Strong
woman. All right...

I get the feeling

that you and Mom can't wait
to get me out of the house.

Aren't you the
least bit emotional?

Oh, yes, man. We're gonna
miss you. Now get your bag.

Do you have the address of the
dorm you're gonna be staying in?

Because I don't want to
drive all around campus.

I thought someone would tell us
where my dorm is when we got there.

They didn't give you a
dorm assignment in the mail?

That's the way
they usually do it.

I guess they messed it up.

Come on. Jump on the phone.

Call the dorm
housing department.

Tell them your name.
Tell them you're in a hurry.

We're on our way down.

What is your dorm
number, please?

Hi. This is Theodore
A. Huxtable.

I'm a freshman
who's arriving today.

You failed to send me
my dorm assignment.

There you go. College student.
Use the word "failed." All right.

Could you give it to me, please?

Yeah, it's Huxtable:
H-U-X... T-A...

That's impossible.

I sent a check months ago.

You don't have any record of it?

Uh, are you sure?

Okay, uh, thanks.

I don't have a dorm room.

I made out the check
and handed it to you.

Did you mail it?

Of course I did. How
could I not have mailed it?

You had on a
brown leather jacket.

I gave you the envelope.

You took it, and you put it

in the left-hand pocket
of the leather jacket.

I said to you, "Son,
don't forget to mail this,"

and you said...

"No problem," and I went
right out and mailed it.

I'm almost positive.

Dad.

It was nice having Denise
home for the summer,

but I'm glad we're getting
our own rooms back.

You're not kidding.

We were roommates a whole
summer, and we got along.

We didn't have one
fight the whole time.

Rudy, now that you're 9, you're
showing a lot more maturity.

Now that you're 15,
you're not bad yourself.

Thank you.

You know, I'm beginning to feel
like we're friends, not just sisters.

Me, too.

And now that we're
becoming friends,

I feel there's
something I can tell you.

What?

Now, I want you to take
this as constructive criticism.

I will.

You leave your socks
laying everywhere.

Now, it wouldn't be so bad

if they weren't so dirty,
disgusting, and smelly.

No offense intended.

None taken. Now may I
say something to help you?

Of course.

When you're asleep, you drool
out of the side of your mouth.

I do not.

Yes, you do. It's slimy and
oozes all over your pillow.

You're just saying
that to get even.

My socks are not smelly.

Ugh!

They smell just fine.

Your nose is gonna fall off.

- Smell 'em!
- No!

- Smell it!
- Come on, Rudy.

Smell it!

Theo, I can't believe that
you couldn't find a dorm room

anywhere on campus.

I tried. I even pleaded
with the Director of Housing.

There's absolutely
no space anywhere.

Denise, smell my sock.

Ew. Rudy, later.

This is the stupidest thing
that you've ever done, Theo.

Ooh, it sounds like
trouble. Let's go scope it out.

Yeah.

Leave this thing out here. Ugh!

Just back off, Denise.

This is my problem,
so I'll deal with it.

Theo, this doesn't
just affect you, okay?

This is just gonna
ruin things for me.

What are you worried about?
You're going back to Hillman.

No, I'm not.

Yeah. Get serious.

I am. I'm dropping
out of school.

What?

Yes, I'm dropping out.

- No way.
- I am.

Whoa. Big trouble.

Why didn't you say
anything about this?

I was gonna say
something earlier,

but then Theo pulled
this stupid stunt.

I don't get it. If you weren't
going back to school,

why'd you pack all your bags?

As soon as I tell Mom
and Dad what I'm doing,

Dad's gonna throw
me out of the house.

Good. That means
I'll get my room back.

So will I.

Guys, I'm about to face
a really difficult situation.

All you can think
about is yourselves?

Who else are we
supposed to think about?

Yeah.

Denise, what you're about to
go through with Mom and Dad

is gonna be tough,
and I really feel for you.

But look on the bright side.

Once Mom and
Dad hear about this,

they'll totally forget
about what I did.

Well, thank you for
your time, Judge Rivera.

Yes, and if you
can think of any way

we could get Theo into a dorm,

please give us a call.

Good-bye.

Ohh!

And another one bites the dust.

Hi. Uh, do you
guys have a minute?

Sweetie, it's getting late.

What time is Jennifer
coming to take you to Hillman?

Uh, Jennifer left yesterday.

But you told us she was
taking you down to Hillman.

Yeah. No, I told her to
go ahead without me.

How are you supposed
to get down there?

Before we get into that,

can I just say something here?

Ahem.

I feel really bad
about what Theo did,

and... but I think you guys
handled it very, very well.

You're calm, firm, yet loving.

This isn't why you
came down here, is it?

No.

Um...

I want you to know that I've
given this a lot of thought,

and the decision that I've
come to is very difficult.

I've decided to discontinue
my college education.

Come again, young lady?

Uh, I'm not going
back to Hillman.

Want to bet?

Being in college has
taught me one thing.

I just don't belong there.

Want to bet?

Daddy, I'm only telling
you what I feel in my heart,

so just hear me out, okay?

This whole thing about
college and competition,

it's just not what I'm about.

I mean, getting straight A's
and making the Dean's List

and trying to impress
your professor.

I mean, is a person
who makes an A

better than a
person who gets a C?

No.

Oh. Okay.

I was sure you
were gonna say yes.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Here's
what I'm trying to say.

Um... Okay, society, all right?

Always puts the A's...

"Hey, you're A's? Oh,
wow, you're up here.

Oh, you're the C's? Oh,
well, then you're down here."

I say why can't we just
be one... happy alphabet?

Uh, that's what I think.

Yep. Ahem.

I really do.

And, well...

I feel I don't have to be
better than everyone else.

I'm happy being me.

And who am I?

Well, who I am is a very
industrious young woman

who just wants to examine
life without... pressure.

And how much does that pay?

You guy... I would not
just drop out of college

without some sort of game plan.

I happen to have
some very definite ideas

on some careers that
happen to pay very well.

Oh? What are you going to do?

I'm going to be a fashion
designer or a record producer.

Well, Denise, college can
help you prepare for that.

Why would I want to
spend four years in college,

you know, when I could
learn the same things on job?

Calvin Klein didn't go
to college for four years.

Barry Gordy started Motown,
didn't have a college degree.

Need I go on?

Yes.

Well, these are the
only examples I have.

Okay, and I'm not that
sure about Calvin Klein.

My point is still the same.

I don't want to
go back to school,

and I hope you'll accept that
because I don't know what else to say.

If you didn't want
to go back to school,

why did you go through the
charade of packing your bags?

Because I knew, as soon
as you guys found out,

Dad was gonna throw
me out of the house.

When did I ever say to you

that if you didn't go back to school
I would throw you out of the house?

Never.

Then don't sit over there

and tell me that I said

I'm gonna throw
her out of the house.

You don't tell me when I'm going
to throw you out of the house,

and I don't see how you can
tell me when you go... what I said

when you don't even
have a college degree.

I have a college degree.

You're gonna tell me something

about when I'm going to throw
somebody out of the house, you know...

Wait a minute...

When I throw somebody out of
the house, they're gonna go out.

I don't tell people...
Denise, I just...

You'd just be up
in the air, boom,

out there in the
middle of the street.

Tell me that somebody was gonna
throw somebody out of the house.

Denise, I have one question.

You have been
here for three months.

Why haven't you
taken any of this time

to look for that job?

Mom, it's my summer vacation.

Cliff, I think you and I
need to go into the kitchen

and talk for a little while.

Yo.

Tell me... Someone's
gonna tell me

when I'm gonna throw
somebody out of the house.

Tell me I'm gonna throw
somebody out of the house.

When did I say I was
gonna throw somebody...

I never said I was gonna throw
somebody out of the house.

And in the first place,

if the child had said
something to me,

she would have had
to wait for me to tell her

that I'm gonna throw
her out of the house.

I never said I was gonna
throw her out of the house.

We're getting ready to eat soon,

and you're gonna
wreck your appetite.

But I need that
after listening...

You are not going to eat this.

But when did I ever tell
some child in this house

I would throw them
out of the house?

- Never - Never.

Honey, I know you're
upset, and I'm upset, too,

but we have to be
realistic about this thing.

Denise does not
want to go to college,

and you and I both know if the
girl doesn't want to go to college,

she doesn't belong there.

I have no problem with the fact
that she does not belong in college.

I accept that.
What I don't accept

is somebody taking for
granted to put words in my mouth

that I'm gonna throw
them out of the house.

I will not threaten
people about throwing...

To tell me that they're afraid I was
gonna throw them out of the house.

And you know, another thing,

every time... every time a
child does something like that,

see, it reflects on us

because they'll go out
and tell somebody else,

and the next thing you know,

the whole neighborhood
will be looking at us

and saying, "Well,
you know Dr. Huxtable.

He threw his child out with
no money, nothing like that."

In the first place... Let
me tell you something.

See, I think...

Can... Do you agree
with me on that?

Let me smell your breath.

And if I smell anything
that smells like a potato,

I'm gonna throw
you out of the house.

Huxtable residence.

Yeah. Uh, Vanessa...
Yeah, who's calling?

Mark? Yeah, uh,
Mark, how old are you?

15? Listen, do you have
any friends or relatives

who are going to NYU now?

NYU.

It's a university.

Well, just... just a minute.

Vanessa!

Yeah?

Stupid Mark is on the phone.

Hello. Hi, Grandpa.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Look at you.

- Grandma.
- Not yet, Elvin.

It's gonna be two months
before "grandma" is laid on me.

Come over here, and
you just sit down, my dear.

How are you feeling?

I'm fine.

- Do you need a back rub?
- No.

Do you need a tummy rub?

No.

Do you need a foot rub?

- No, I'm fine.
- Everything is all right?

Daddy, you always
make such a fuss over me.

You better believe it.
Gonna make me a granddad.

Hot dog.

Well, Vanessa called. We
heard all about Denise and Theo.

Yeah. We think we
might have a solution.

Sandra and I talked it over,

and we'd like to offer Denise
a job at the Wilderness Store.

Denise!

What?

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey.

- How you doing?
- Fine.

Denise, Denise, we have
a proposition to make.

We know you're looking
for employment now,

and we thought we'd let you know

that there's an opening
at the Wilderness Store.

Wilderness Store.

Yes. We'd like to make
you our salesperson

in charge of camping equipment.

Isn't that great?

Yeah. Uh, how much does it pay?

Well, we start you
at minimum wage,

but, uh, let's say you'll be
working a normal work week,

you'd take home $168.

All right.

Oh. Wow. I don't
know what to say.

I'm really touched that you
guys would even think of me.

But, you know, I don't
really want to take anything

that isn't associated
with music or fashion.

Well, let's see,
what you could do

is work in the tent division,

and you could
sing inside the tent.

- Good one, Dad.
- Thank you.

I'm gonna go finish
dinner in the kitchen.

Well, we appreciate
what you tried to do, Elvin.

Would you like
to stay for dinner?

- Yes.
- Well, the least we can do is help.

Come on, Elvin.

Thank you.

Tell me that I'm dreaming.

Tell me that you're
gonna wake me up

and that my daughter
is not that way.

Tell me, please.

Tell me that this child does
not have a penny to her name,

she's borrowing
everything from us,

and was offered a job
paying some money

and turned it down.

Tell me.

Tell me, I said.

Mom, Dad, I've got
sensational news.

I need it, man.

Now, I was walking in the
neighborhood around NYU,

trying to figure
out a place to live,

and I saw this.

"SoHo Towers."

It's a brand-new condominium
complex three blocks from NYU.

Cliff... wake up.

"Fabulous views, all marble
floors, gourmet eat-in kitchen,

video rooms, a health club, and a
seven-day-a-week maid service."

Now isn't that a
fabulous place to live?

"One-bedroom apartments
start at $485,000."

Don't you guys see?

This is a golden
opportunity for all of us.

Now, for me, it solves my
short-term living situation.

You buy the place, I live
there during my college years.

After four years, this apartment
will be worth $600,000.

Now, that's over
$100,000 in profits,

which I'm not even
gonna ask to share.

I'm willing to live in
it and take care of it

at no charge to you.

And who knows?

Maybe some weekends,

you and Dad want to get away?

You call me,
and hey, I'll split.

Theo, get away.

You guys may need some
time to think about this,

but don't take too long.
We got to act quick.

I figured it out now.

I got it all figured out.

See, for 23 years, we've
had children in this house,

and for 23 years,

you and I have had constant
battles with these people.

And the question has always
been "What were we fighting about?"

And now I know.

It's about the house.

They want the house.

It is believable

that this boy deliberately
did not mail that envelope

so that when he went
down there were no rooms

and he would have to
come back here and live.

It is believable

that Denise does not want
to go to college anymore

because she wants to live here.

It is believable

that this young
man and this woman,

living in a condemned
place on purpose,

have this baby to make
us feel sorry for them

so they can come back here.

Now, the other two haven't
started their game yet

because legally, they're
supposed to stay here.

Now, you and I have been beaten
every time we've gone to battle,

and I'm telling
you now, darling...

I'm old.

And you're old, too, Clair.

And I think that you and I should
just get on up and get out of here,

get in the car,
and... and just go.

Let them have the house, honey.

And unlike General
MacArthur, we shall not return.

Cliff, honey, is that you?

Just got in from the hospital.

What time is it?

3 A.M.

Oh.

You have missed 21
hours of children updates.

I don't have to
listen to it, do I?

Well, I had to listen to it.

Who is it?

I was too excited to sleep,

and I heard Dad come
in. I have to tell him.

Looks like you get to hear
this one in person. Come in!

You didn't tell him
anything, did you?

No.

Good. Ta-da! You're looking
at an employed person!

You got a job?

Yes! I'm a record producer.

Well, not exactly,

but I do have a wonderful
entry-level position

at Blue Wave Records.

Doing what?

I'm the assistant to
the executive associate.

And tell him that the assistant
to the executive associate does.

Well, basically, I take care of the needs
of the various artists and their guests,

plus I operate the intercommunication
system throughout the office.

You get coffee and
answer the phone.

Tell him how much you're making.

$25.

- An hour?
- No.

- A day.
- A week.

Why so much?

I swear, Dad, you'll
be proud of me.

I certainly hope so.

Good night.

Good night. Get some
sleep. You look tired.

♪ I'm in the record
business, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Clair.

Good night.

And I love you. You know why?

Because...

all we've got is each other.

♪♪

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