The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 4, Episode 18 - Once Upon a Time - full transcript
Rudy reads a story she wrote to Cliff and Clair about a happy land where the residents are taken prisoner by the evil king and his men, as acted out in a fantasy sequence by all the characters.
♪♪
♪♪
Woo. What a day. What a day.
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hmm.
Mmm.
Mom?
Yes, sweetheart?
Can I borrow your stapler?
Why? What do you need it for?
Because I want to staple
these pages together.
- I just wrote a story.
- Okay.
Do you want me
to read it to you?
Sure, precious. I'm
always up to a good story.
Okay.
Come on.
Hmmm?
Where are we going?
Okay.
Now, you have to pay attention.
Right.
And don't say anything until
I'm finished with my story.
You got it. We
won't say a thing.
Now you can... Hmm?
You can hold that.
All right. I'm holding it.
No, wrong side. Sorry.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Thank you.
Okay.
The title is "A Story
By Rudy Huxtable."
Mm-hmm.
"Once upon a time,
there was a happy land.
"It was a very beautiful place,
with many beautiful things to look at.
Everybody who lived..."
- Hi.
- Hi.
Go ahead, I'm listening.
You're supposed to be awake.
I am. I'm awake. I heard
everything you said.
- What did I say?
- You said, "Once upon a time,
"there was a frog, and
he kissed a princess.
"And she turned into an ape.
And they lived
happily ever after."
You weren't listening.
Read on. Start from
the top. Here we go.
"Once upon a time...
Once upon a time.
"there was a happy land.
Happy.
"It was a very beautiful place,
with many beautiful things to look at.
"Everybody who lived in this
land was happy all day long.
"The leader was a wise
man, named Mr. Mayor.
Oh, what a lovely day.
But then it's always a
lovely day in this happy land.
"There was also a farm.
"It belonged to
Mr. and Mrs. Farmer.
"They grew special food
that everyone loved to eat.
"It was called Flubaru.
My, what a great
flubaru harvest we've had.
Yes, there are flubarus
as far as the eye can see.
Honey, we've been
working very hard all day,
I think we deserve
a flubaru break.
You're right.
Mmmm, delicious.
"There was also a man
who told people all the news,
"and the news was always happy.
♪ Now listen all you
people to what's goin' down ♪
♪ Things could not be much
better in this good news town ♪
♪ So come on party
people and check it out ♪
♪ to find out what the
good news is all about ♪
♪ Is all about ♪
♪ Is all about ♪
"Everyone in the land
liked to sing songs.
"And the song leader
was a beautiful maiden.
"Oh, I forgot.
"There was a sweet
and pretty flower girl.
"She liked to grow flowers
and give them to everyone.
"Every day there was a parade.
"And the parade was led
by the town's band leader.
"It was a small parade, but
everyone liked it just the same.
"In this land, there were
lots of toys for everyone.
"And each day, Mr. Mayor handed
them out so all the people could play.
"And school was never inside.
"It was always outside.
"There was no homework, and
between lessons, everybody sang.
All right, all right, everyone.
Today we're going to sing
the official song of our land.
And five, six, five,
six, seven, eight.
♪ It's a beautiful day
♪ And we're happy to say
♪ Everyone in this place
has a smile on his face ♪
♪♪
♪ We love living here
♪ And we're sorry you're there
♪ 'Cause if you were with us
we know you'd be happy too ♪
♪ Be happy too ♪
"The people in this land
liked each other very much.
"But there were other people
in a different land not far away,
"who didn't like them.
"They didn't like
much of anything.
♪♪
♪♪
Announce me, or you're fired.
Hear ye!
Hear ye!
Announcing His Royal King that's
the most feared man in the land,
and a man you don't
want to mess with.
That's better.
♪♪
Hear ye, hear ye!
Announcing another
rotten person,
the Duke of Doom.
You got it.
And what mean things have you
planned for us today, your ugliness?
I want to boss some
more people around.
Let's go to war.
Yeah, war. Now you're talking.
And what people should we
war against, your meanness?
I can't know everything.
Bring in the wizard.
Wizard, cometh forth.
Cometh forth, Wizard.
Here comes the wizard.
Greetings, your majesty.
So tell me...
What would you have
me conjure for you today?
I want to go to war, and I want
you to find somebody to fight.
Well, let me look
in my crystal ball.
Don't tell me less,
don't tell me more.
Just tell me who we
should fight in war.
Wait a second.
It's kind of fuzzy in here.
This ball must have been
on the radiator too long.
I can't see anything.
Off with her head!
Wait! Wait! I... I
see something.
I see a land near here
where everyone is happy.
I hate happy people.
They think they're hot stuff.
Well, happy people
are not too bad.
Some of my best
friends are happy people.
Off with his head!
Well, happy people
stink, actually.
I think we should waste them.
Tell me more, Wizard.
Their land is across the
ocean and past the desert.
They have toys for
everyone, and they like to sing.
They sound like wimps.
That does it.
I hereby declare war.
War it is, your highness and your
most horrendous attackedness.
First, let's sing our song.
♪ We don't like the day ♪
♪ We can't stand the night ♪
♪ We really hate to play ♪
♪ We only like to fight ♪
♪ And we'll do it in your face ♪
♪ Crummy day ♪
♪ We can't stand the night ♪
♪ We really hate to play ♪
♪ We only like to fight ♪
♪ And we'll do it in your face ♪
"And so they sent the Duke
of Doom with a message.
Look, in the
distance, a stranger.
Let's make him welcome.
I'll give him a flower.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Hello.
Who goes there?
I am the Duke of Doom.
And don't you forget it.
Would you like a flubaru?
No.
Well, how nice to see you.
Why have you come?
Because you're in big trouble.
Read this.
What does it say?
It says, "We declare war on you.
"We will be attacking
at noon tomorrow.
Signed, the King of Nasty."
Well, isn't that nice.
They want to have war with us.
What is war?
I don't know.
Mr. Mayor, you're
the wisest of us all.
Do you know what a war is?
Well, I know what a door
is and what a store is,
but I can't say I
know what a war is.
Oh, well, that's all right.
We'll just look it
up in the dictionary.
Okay.
"War.
Open armed conflict
between two parties."
Hmmm.
Open-armed parties?
All right, party
down, open arms.
How do you do that?
You do like this.
You open your arms
and you par-tay. Ha!
That looks like lots of fun.
Well, let's all do it.
Yeah.
This is gonna be a great war.
Halt.
Wizard, do some magic
to protect us in battle.
No problem, your majesty.
Oh, before we fight
on this battlefield,
protect us all with
an invisible shield.
Kazam!
It is done.
I don't see anything.
That's because it's invisible.
But trust me, we
are totally protected.
Nothing can touch us.
Oh! That star hurt.
Oh, I'm sorry.
We were supposed
to have a shield.
You've been doing magic all day,
and nothing's been working!
Pick on those happy people.
Hi there, neighbors.
You ready for war?
We've been looking
forward to it all day.
Let's go to war.
All right, war.
I've never seen a war like
this one, your highness.
What should we do?
Draw your swords.
What do you do with those?
We chop you into
little bits and pieces.
I'm out of here.
Chop us into little
bits and pieces?
These are advanced weapons
that you people don't know about.
I don't think we want to fight with
you if you're going to use those.
Then in the name of His
Royal Horrendousness,
we declare this land conquered.
Ha, this land is ours.
"And so, the nasty
people took over the land,
"and soon everything was lousy.
"After the war ended,
"things got bad right away.
Okay, listen up.
There's gonna be some
change around here,
and I'm your new king.
Your majesty, why don't you
let me change them all into frogs.
You can't even change a dollar.
Your majesty, should I read
them the new rules now?
Yes.
"Having lost the war, you are
henceforth subject to our rules.
"They are as follows.
"Rule number one: All
your toys are now our toys,
"and you can't play
with them ever again.
That's not fair.
"Rule number two: From now on, the farmers
will only be allowed to grow broccoli.
What about our flubarus?
We'll be eating those.
"Rule number three:
Whenever you pass one of us
"you must stop and say,
'You are a fabulous guy.'
"Rule number four: There will be no
parties in town, unless we have them.
"Rule number five: None of
you are invited to our parties.
Now, I was with
you up until that one.
Silence.
"Rule number six:
You now work for us
for no money and no benefits,
and you still have to pay taxes.
"Rule number seven: All taxes
will be doubled, starting now.
I will not stand for this.
As mayor of this land, I must
protest the treatment of my people.
"Rule number eight: Anyone
who protests is going to get it.
Your majesty,
why don't you let me
imprison him in my crystal ball.
Excellent.
Very nasty idea.
Oh, this mayor
who has such gall,
it is time for him to fall
now, in front of one and all.
Put him in my crystal ball.
What happened?
Who took our mayor?
Oh, no, where's our mayor?
Whoa.
Oh, no!
I said ball, not wall!
You're pitiful.
Even if I am trapped
inside this wall,
I will not give up until
you're driven from our land!
You have a long wait.
Read 'em the last rule.
"Rule number nine:
"You will only sing our songs.
You cannot sing songs
of your own anymore."
But we're a singing people.
We must sing our songs.
But perhaps you and I
could sing a few duets.
I could arrange that,
if you get my drift.
Henchman, silence!
I beg your pardon,
your interruptedness.
And so, let us sing our song.
♪ We don't like the day ♪
♪ And we can't stand the night ♪
♪ We really hate to play ♪
♪ We only like to fight ♪
♪ And we'll do it in your face ♪
"And so, the people had
to live under the new laws,
"and nobody was happy.
Well, here's some more broccoli.
I wish we could eat
one of our flubarus.
Well, honey...
there is something
I've been hiding for us.
A flubaru!
Shhh.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Tonight we'll have flubaru soup, and
flubaru stew, and flubaru casserole.
Yes, and for
dessert, flubaru floats.
Never!
Okay, these are
all the toys I own.
Thank you for
such a lovely gift.
Gift? You're making me give
'em to you, and I think it stinks.
Hey, hey, hey!
You watch your mouth, sporty.
Now let me ask you
a question, all right?
You took all our toys.
Now what is everybody in
town supposed to play with?
Oh, you want to play
with something, right?
- Yeah.
- Play with those rocks.
A wonderful idea,
your grooviness.
You guys are disgusting.
- You forgot something.
- What?
Rule number three.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
You're a fabulous guy.
Thank you.
You're a fabulous guy.
Another one.
All right, your highness.
What are you doing?
Picking flowers.
You're not allowed
to pick flowers.
Yes, I can. There's no
rule against picking flowers.
Now there is.
Rule number 12:
No picking flowers.
Hey, aren't you
forgetting something?
What?
Rule number three.
You're supposed to tell
me I'm a fabulous guy.
Okay, you're a fabulous guy.
Bud.
Uh, these toys are heavy.
Well, Song Leader,
it's a very beautiful
dress you have on.
Your notes are
looking mighty sharp.
I wish that I could say
"Good morning" back to you,
but I don't speak to
people who conquer us
and make up terrible rules.
Oh, I don't make up the rules.
These are the king's rules.
If I didn't follow
them, I'd lose my job.
But you don't
have to follow them.
Well, if I don't, he'll fire me,
and who's gonna
pay for my condo?
So you mean that you're
in this just for the money?
Well, no, of course
there are other benefits.
I have a wonderful
health and dental plan.
And then there's two
weeks out of the year
that I get to go on vacation
and cruise and pillage.
If you played your cards right,
you could come along
and pillage with me.
I'd rather sit on
a cactus plant.
We could do that,
too, if you'd like.
"So the people had
to live by the new rules.
"They really didn't like it,
"but the people who took
over the land liked it a lot.
"They had a party every day.
Now, how do you like that?
We do all the work around
here, and all they do is party.
Yeah, it's not fair.
Well, you know, it looks
like a stupid party anyway.
I wouldn't go in if you paid me.
Whoa, check her out.
Don't even look at her.
She's one of them.
Hey, I think she likes me.
Don't pay any attention to her.
Ha, ha! Catch you later.
Wait a minute! You
can't dance with them.
They're the enemy.
With enemies like
that, who needs friends?
I can remember when that
rainbow had a lot of colors.
It'll have colors in it soon.
I don't think so.
I don't think we'll ever get
to sing our songs again.
We will.
No, we won't.
We'll probably have to eat
broccoli for the rest of our lives.
Oh, what a tragedy.
This is awful.
I can't imagine a
worse thing happening.
What is it?
The town crier has
gone over to the enemy.
He's there now, dancing.
This is the end.
Don't say that.
But there's no hope for us now.
We can't fight them.
Their weapons
are too much for us.
I guess I'll be in
this wall forever.
We'll just have to get
used to the way things are.
"The flower girl hated to
see how sad everybody was.
"She wanted things to be
the way they used to be.
So she decided to
do something about it."
Stop!
What?
I said stop!
And?
And what?
And what happened next?
That's it. The end.
No, no, honey.
What happened after
the flower girl said "stop?"
Everyone stopped.
They stopped what?
They stopped dancing?
No, stopped everything.
Stopped their rules
and stopped being mean.
Well, what about
the Duke of Doom?
Stopped.
And what happened
to the evil king?
Stopped. And the henchman?
Stopped. And the
wizard stopped, too.
But, Rudy, I don't understand.
Why did everyone stop?
Because the flower
girl told them to.
Now that is a very
interesting story you've written.
And I love what the
flower girl does in the end.
I'm going to do that, too,
when I become president.
You're going to
become president?
Yes. President of the world.
I'm going to get
on the bullhorn,
and then I'm going to tell
all the bad people to stop it.
Really?
And then I'm going to tell them to throw
all their bombs and guns in the ocean,
so there'll be no more fighting.
Stop it. Stop it.
Ten people were
wounded in the attack.
That's the fourth terrorist action
to take place in the last two weeks.
The military government has announced
that it will use any force necessary
to combat these subvers...
Eight Separist rebels
and one soldier were killed
during a one-hour gun battle
outside the embassy at noon today.
Security at the embassy has
been increased in response to...
The helicopter
was striking a village
when it was shot down
by a heat-seeking missile.
Tape of the crash was taken
by our field correspondent.
Hey, Rudy, you better hurry up
and become president of the world,
'cause we need you right now.
Please.
In other news, the world's first
150-megaton nuclear warhead
was tested successfully at
an underground site yesterday.
The bomb is said to have the capability
to destroy a 2000-square-mile area...
The Cosby Show was taped
before a studio audience.
Subtitled By J.R. Media
Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪♪
Woo. What a day. What a day.
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hmm.
Mmm.
Mom?
Yes, sweetheart?
Can I borrow your stapler?
Why? What do you need it for?
Because I want to staple
these pages together.
- I just wrote a story.
- Okay.
Do you want me
to read it to you?
Sure, precious. I'm
always up to a good story.
Okay.
Come on.
Hmmm?
Where are we going?
Okay.
Now, you have to pay attention.
Right.
And don't say anything until
I'm finished with my story.
You got it. We
won't say a thing.
Now you can... Hmm?
You can hold that.
All right. I'm holding it.
No, wrong side. Sorry.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Thank you.
Okay.
The title is "A Story
By Rudy Huxtable."
Mm-hmm.
"Once upon a time,
there was a happy land.
"It was a very beautiful place,
with many beautiful things to look at.
Everybody who lived..."
- Hi.
- Hi.
Go ahead, I'm listening.
You're supposed to be awake.
I am. I'm awake. I heard
everything you said.
- What did I say?
- You said, "Once upon a time,
"there was a frog, and
he kissed a princess.
"And she turned into an ape.
And they lived
happily ever after."
You weren't listening.
Read on. Start from
the top. Here we go.
"Once upon a time...
Once upon a time.
"there was a happy land.
Happy.
"It was a very beautiful place,
with many beautiful things to look at.
"Everybody who lived in this
land was happy all day long.
"The leader was a wise
man, named Mr. Mayor.
Oh, what a lovely day.
But then it's always a
lovely day in this happy land.
"There was also a farm.
"It belonged to
Mr. and Mrs. Farmer.
"They grew special food
that everyone loved to eat.
"It was called Flubaru.
My, what a great
flubaru harvest we've had.
Yes, there are flubarus
as far as the eye can see.
Honey, we've been
working very hard all day,
I think we deserve
a flubaru break.
You're right.
Mmmm, delicious.
"There was also a man
who told people all the news,
"and the news was always happy.
♪ Now listen all you
people to what's goin' down ♪
♪ Things could not be much
better in this good news town ♪
♪ So come on party
people and check it out ♪
♪ to find out what the
good news is all about ♪
♪ Is all about ♪
♪ Is all about ♪
"Everyone in the land
liked to sing songs.
"And the song leader
was a beautiful maiden.
"Oh, I forgot.
"There was a sweet
and pretty flower girl.
"She liked to grow flowers
and give them to everyone.
"Every day there was a parade.
"And the parade was led
by the town's band leader.
"It was a small parade, but
everyone liked it just the same.
"In this land, there were
lots of toys for everyone.
"And each day, Mr. Mayor handed
them out so all the people could play.
"And school was never inside.
"It was always outside.
"There was no homework, and
between lessons, everybody sang.
All right, all right, everyone.
Today we're going to sing
the official song of our land.
And five, six, five,
six, seven, eight.
♪ It's a beautiful day
♪ And we're happy to say
♪ Everyone in this place
has a smile on his face ♪
♪♪
♪ We love living here
♪ And we're sorry you're there
♪ 'Cause if you were with us
we know you'd be happy too ♪
♪ Be happy too ♪
"The people in this land
liked each other very much.
"But there were other people
in a different land not far away,
"who didn't like them.
"They didn't like
much of anything.
♪♪
♪♪
Announce me, or you're fired.
Hear ye!
Hear ye!
Announcing His Royal King that's
the most feared man in the land,
and a man you don't
want to mess with.
That's better.
♪♪
Hear ye, hear ye!
Announcing another
rotten person,
the Duke of Doom.
You got it.
And what mean things have you
planned for us today, your ugliness?
I want to boss some
more people around.
Let's go to war.
Yeah, war. Now you're talking.
And what people should we
war against, your meanness?
I can't know everything.
Bring in the wizard.
Wizard, cometh forth.
Cometh forth, Wizard.
Here comes the wizard.
Greetings, your majesty.
So tell me...
What would you have
me conjure for you today?
I want to go to war, and I want
you to find somebody to fight.
Well, let me look
in my crystal ball.
Don't tell me less,
don't tell me more.
Just tell me who we
should fight in war.
Wait a second.
It's kind of fuzzy in here.
This ball must have been
on the radiator too long.
I can't see anything.
Off with her head!
Wait! Wait! I... I
see something.
I see a land near here
where everyone is happy.
I hate happy people.
They think they're hot stuff.
Well, happy people
are not too bad.
Some of my best
friends are happy people.
Off with his head!
Well, happy people
stink, actually.
I think we should waste them.
Tell me more, Wizard.
Their land is across the
ocean and past the desert.
They have toys for
everyone, and they like to sing.
They sound like wimps.
That does it.
I hereby declare war.
War it is, your highness and your
most horrendous attackedness.
First, let's sing our song.
♪ We don't like the day ♪
♪ We can't stand the night ♪
♪ We really hate to play ♪
♪ We only like to fight ♪
♪ And we'll do it in your face ♪
♪ Crummy day ♪
♪ We can't stand the night ♪
♪ We really hate to play ♪
♪ We only like to fight ♪
♪ And we'll do it in your face ♪
"And so they sent the Duke
of Doom with a message.
Look, in the
distance, a stranger.
Let's make him welcome.
I'll give him a flower.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Hello.
Who goes there?
I am the Duke of Doom.
And don't you forget it.
Would you like a flubaru?
No.
Well, how nice to see you.
Why have you come?
Because you're in big trouble.
Read this.
What does it say?
It says, "We declare war on you.
"We will be attacking
at noon tomorrow.
Signed, the King of Nasty."
Well, isn't that nice.
They want to have war with us.
What is war?
I don't know.
Mr. Mayor, you're
the wisest of us all.
Do you know what a war is?
Well, I know what a door
is and what a store is,
but I can't say I
know what a war is.
Oh, well, that's all right.
We'll just look it
up in the dictionary.
Okay.
"War.
Open armed conflict
between two parties."
Hmmm.
Open-armed parties?
All right, party
down, open arms.
How do you do that?
You do like this.
You open your arms
and you par-tay. Ha!
That looks like lots of fun.
Well, let's all do it.
Yeah.
This is gonna be a great war.
Halt.
Wizard, do some magic
to protect us in battle.
No problem, your majesty.
Oh, before we fight
on this battlefield,
protect us all with
an invisible shield.
Kazam!
It is done.
I don't see anything.
That's because it's invisible.
But trust me, we
are totally protected.
Nothing can touch us.
Oh! That star hurt.
Oh, I'm sorry.
We were supposed
to have a shield.
You've been doing magic all day,
and nothing's been working!
Pick on those happy people.
Hi there, neighbors.
You ready for war?
We've been looking
forward to it all day.
Let's go to war.
All right, war.
I've never seen a war like
this one, your highness.
What should we do?
Draw your swords.
What do you do with those?
We chop you into
little bits and pieces.
I'm out of here.
Chop us into little
bits and pieces?
These are advanced weapons
that you people don't know about.
I don't think we want to fight with
you if you're going to use those.
Then in the name of His
Royal Horrendousness,
we declare this land conquered.
Ha, this land is ours.
"And so, the nasty
people took over the land,
"and soon everything was lousy.
"After the war ended,
"things got bad right away.
Okay, listen up.
There's gonna be some
change around here,
and I'm your new king.
Your majesty, why don't you
let me change them all into frogs.
You can't even change a dollar.
Your majesty, should I read
them the new rules now?
Yes.
"Having lost the war, you are
henceforth subject to our rules.
"They are as follows.
"Rule number one: All
your toys are now our toys,
"and you can't play
with them ever again.
That's not fair.
"Rule number two: From now on, the farmers
will only be allowed to grow broccoli.
What about our flubarus?
We'll be eating those.
"Rule number three:
Whenever you pass one of us
"you must stop and say,
'You are a fabulous guy.'
"Rule number four: There will be no
parties in town, unless we have them.
"Rule number five: None of
you are invited to our parties.
Now, I was with
you up until that one.
Silence.
"Rule number six:
You now work for us
for no money and no benefits,
and you still have to pay taxes.
"Rule number seven: All taxes
will be doubled, starting now.
I will not stand for this.
As mayor of this land, I must
protest the treatment of my people.
"Rule number eight: Anyone
who protests is going to get it.
Your majesty,
why don't you let me
imprison him in my crystal ball.
Excellent.
Very nasty idea.
Oh, this mayor
who has such gall,
it is time for him to fall
now, in front of one and all.
Put him in my crystal ball.
What happened?
Who took our mayor?
Oh, no, where's our mayor?
Whoa.
Oh, no!
I said ball, not wall!
You're pitiful.
Even if I am trapped
inside this wall,
I will not give up until
you're driven from our land!
You have a long wait.
Read 'em the last rule.
"Rule number nine:
"You will only sing our songs.
You cannot sing songs
of your own anymore."
But we're a singing people.
We must sing our songs.
But perhaps you and I
could sing a few duets.
I could arrange that,
if you get my drift.
Henchman, silence!
I beg your pardon,
your interruptedness.
And so, let us sing our song.
♪ We don't like the day ♪
♪ And we can't stand the night ♪
♪ We really hate to play ♪
♪ We only like to fight ♪
♪ And we'll do it in your face ♪
"And so, the people had
to live under the new laws,
"and nobody was happy.
Well, here's some more broccoli.
I wish we could eat
one of our flubarus.
Well, honey...
there is something
I've been hiding for us.
A flubaru!
Shhh.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Tonight we'll have flubaru soup, and
flubaru stew, and flubaru casserole.
Yes, and for
dessert, flubaru floats.
Never!
Okay, these are
all the toys I own.
Thank you for
such a lovely gift.
Gift? You're making me give
'em to you, and I think it stinks.
Hey, hey, hey!
You watch your mouth, sporty.
Now let me ask you
a question, all right?
You took all our toys.
Now what is everybody in
town supposed to play with?
Oh, you want to play
with something, right?
- Yeah.
- Play with those rocks.
A wonderful idea,
your grooviness.
You guys are disgusting.
- You forgot something.
- What?
Rule number three.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
You're a fabulous guy.
Thank you.
You're a fabulous guy.
Another one.
All right, your highness.
What are you doing?
Picking flowers.
You're not allowed
to pick flowers.
Yes, I can. There's no
rule against picking flowers.
Now there is.
Rule number 12:
No picking flowers.
Hey, aren't you
forgetting something?
What?
Rule number three.
You're supposed to tell
me I'm a fabulous guy.
Okay, you're a fabulous guy.
Bud.
Uh, these toys are heavy.
Well, Song Leader,
it's a very beautiful
dress you have on.
Your notes are
looking mighty sharp.
I wish that I could say
"Good morning" back to you,
but I don't speak to
people who conquer us
and make up terrible rules.
Oh, I don't make up the rules.
These are the king's rules.
If I didn't follow
them, I'd lose my job.
But you don't
have to follow them.
Well, if I don't, he'll fire me,
and who's gonna
pay for my condo?
So you mean that you're
in this just for the money?
Well, no, of course
there are other benefits.
I have a wonderful
health and dental plan.
And then there's two
weeks out of the year
that I get to go on vacation
and cruise and pillage.
If you played your cards right,
you could come along
and pillage with me.
I'd rather sit on
a cactus plant.
We could do that,
too, if you'd like.
"So the people had
to live by the new rules.
"They really didn't like it,
"but the people who took
over the land liked it a lot.
"They had a party every day.
Now, how do you like that?
We do all the work around
here, and all they do is party.
Yeah, it's not fair.
Well, you know, it looks
like a stupid party anyway.
I wouldn't go in if you paid me.
Whoa, check her out.
Don't even look at her.
She's one of them.
Hey, I think she likes me.
Don't pay any attention to her.
Ha, ha! Catch you later.
Wait a minute! You
can't dance with them.
They're the enemy.
With enemies like
that, who needs friends?
I can remember when that
rainbow had a lot of colors.
It'll have colors in it soon.
I don't think so.
I don't think we'll ever get
to sing our songs again.
We will.
No, we won't.
We'll probably have to eat
broccoli for the rest of our lives.
Oh, what a tragedy.
This is awful.
I can't imagine a
worse thing happening.
What is it?
The town crier has
gone over to the enemy.
He's there now, dancing.
This is the end.
Don't say that.
But there's no hope for us now.
We can't fight them.
Their weapons
are too much for us.
I guess I'll be in
this wall forever.
We'll just have to get
used to the way things are.
"The flower girl hated to
see how sad everybody was.
"She wanted things to be
the way they used to be.
So she decided to
do something about it."
Stop!
What?
I said stop!
And?
And what?
And what happened next?
That's it. The end.
No, no, honey.
What happened after
the flower girl said "stop?"
Everyone stopped.
They stopped what?
They stopped dancing?
No, stopped everything.
Stopped their rules
and stopped being mean.
Well, what about
the Duke of Doom?
Stopped.
And what happened
to the evil king?
Stopped. And the henchman?
Stopped. And the
wizard stopped, too.
But, Rudy, I don't understand.
Why did everyone stop?
Because the flower
girl told them to.
Now that is a very
interesting story you've written.
And I love what the
flower girl does in the end.
I'm going to do that, too,
when I become president.
You're going to
become president?
Yes. President of the world.
I'm going to get
on the bullhorn,
and then I'm going to tell
all the bad people to stop it.
Really?
And then I'm going to tell them to throw
all their bombs and guns in the ocean,
so there'll be no more fighting.
Stop it. Stop it.
Ten people were
wounded in the attack.
That's the fourth terrorist action
to take place in the last two weeks.
The military government has announced
that it will use any force necessary
to combat these subvers...
Eight Separist rebels
and one soldier were killed
during a one-hour gun battle
outside the embassy at noon today.
Security at the embassy has
been increased in response to...
The helicopter
was striking a village
when it was shot down
by a heat-seeking missile.
Tape of the crash was taken
by our field correspondent.
Hey, Rudy, you better hurry up
and become president of the world,
'cause we need you right now.
Please.
In other news, the world's first
150-megaton nuclear warhead
was tested successfully at
an underground site yesterday.
The bomb is said to have the capability
to destroy a 2000-square-mile area...
The Cosby Show was taped
before a studio audience.
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