The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 2, Episode 7 - Rudy Suits Up - full transcript

Woman:
I DON'T
BELIEVE IT.

MOM, I'M NOT THRILLED
ABOUT THIS EITHER.

BUT CLAIR, FOOTBALL?

SHE WENT TO SOME GAMES

AND DECIDED SHE WANTS
TO TRY IT.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SEE THE DAY.

HI, MOM.

HI, GRANDMA.

OH, RUDY,
COME HERE.

LET GRANDMA TAKE THAT THINGOFF

AND GIVE YOU
A KISS.



CLIFF.

HI, MOM.

MOM, SHE'S AMAZING!

SHE WAS OKAY.

OKAY?

THE COACH PUT HER IN
THE STARTING LINEUP.

SHE'S OKAY.

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.

WANT TO SEE
ME PLAY?

RUDY, DO YOU WANT
TO PLAY AGAIN?

YEAH.

MOM, RUDY HAS
SO MUCH PADDING

SHE'D NEVER
GET HURT.



BESIDES, SHE'S SO QUICK,
NO ONE WOULD GET HER.

SHE'S OKAY.

RUDY, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE A BATH.

OKAY.

COME ON, KIDDO.

I'LL HELP YOU
WITH YOUR PADS.

SO RUDY
DID WELL?

SHE'S OKAY.

WHY DON'T YOU LET IT OUT?

LET IT WHAT-IT OUT-IT?

YOU KNOW YOU ARE
DYING TO TELL US

HOW GREAT RUDY WAS TODAY.

NAW.

PLEASE, CLIFF.

IF YOU DON'T,
YOU'RE GOING TO EXPLODE.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.

MAYBE EVERY 500 YEARS OR SO...

AN ATHLETE COMES ALONG.

AND THIS TIME THIS
ATHLETE HAS COME

IN A DIFFERENT-LOOKING PACKAGE.

THIS ATHLETE
HAS THE SPEED,
THE MOVES

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...

THE HEART.

YOU COULD SEE THAT
AFTER ONE PRACTICE?

THE COACH AND I ARE
VERY, VERY SORRY

THAT SHE DECIDED SO LATE
TO GO OUT FOR THE TEAM

BECAUSE SHE WAS OUT
AT PRACTICE FIVE MINUTES

TOOK THE BALL TWICE,
SCORED TWO TOUCHDOWNS.

AND THAT
IS WHY

I HAVE GIVEN HER THE NICKNAME,
"THE GRAY GHOST."

THE GRAY GHOST.

NAMED AFTER ANOTHER HUXTABLE,
NAMELY HER FATHER.

WELL, CLIFF, RUDY
IS VERY LUCKY

TO HAVE A FATHER WHO
IS SO ENTHUSIASTIC

ABOUT HER
ACTIVITIES.

THANK YOU,
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

CLAIR, I ALWAYS
LIKED YOUR HUSBAND

BUT I THINK
HE'S STRANGE.

HEY, DAD.

HEY.

( changes TV station )

( changes station )

TV narrator:
It's experimental
for me.

I hope it will be
experimental for you.

There's always been
a mystery about the drum.

The drum is the father
of the percussion section.

( changes station )

First, we take
the snare drum.

( snare drum )

Next, we go to
the bass drum.

HI, DAD,
HI, THEO.

HEY.

HEY, SONDRA.

From the bass drum,
we go to the tom-tom.

( tom-tom )

And from the tom-tom,
we go to the cymbal.

( cymbal )

WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS?

IT'S EDUCATIONAL, DEAR.

WHAT ELSE IS ON?

NOTHING.

( Cliff turns
off the TV)

DAD!

YOU JUST SAID THERE
WAS NOTHING ON.

WHAT WILL WE DO?

TALK.

TALK?

YEAH.

SONDRA, HOW'S SCHOOL?

GREAT.

THEO...

DON'T ASK.

REALLY?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

MISS WESTLAKE, MY MATH TEACHER.

MISS WESTLAKE IS TOUGH.

I KNOW YOU THINK
SHE'S GREAT

BUT THIS WILL
CHANGE YOUR MIND.

WHAT?

SHE CALLED ME

UP TO THE CHALKBOARD

TO DO MATH PROBLEMS.

SHE TOLD ME TO STAY
TILL I DID IT.

AND?

SHE HAD THE NERVE
TO TURN HER BACK ON ME

AND TEACH THE CLASS.

SHE LEFT YOU UP THERE
DOING WORK

WHILE SHE TAUGHT THE CLASS.

HELLO!

SHE DIDN'T WAIT
FOR YOU TO FINISH?

NO.

HOW LONG DID IT TAKE?

I WAS UP THERE THE WHOLE PERIOD.

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

IF YOU'D TOLD HER THAT YOU
COULDN'T DO THE PROBLEM?

SHE'D LET ME SIT DOWN.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER THAT?

I COULDN'T DO THAT.

SHE'D THINK I DIDN'T
KNOW THE ANSWER.

DID YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

DOES SHE CALL ON YOU A LOT?

YES.

DOES SHE MAKE YOU NERVOUS?

I GET NERVOUS JUST
THINKING ABOUT HER.

I THINK I KNOW WHY.

WHY?

IT SOUNDS LIKE

YOU'RE SUFFERING

FROM PERFORMANCE ANXIETY.

THAT'S AN INTERESTING
DIAGNOSIS.

WHAT IS IT?

YOU HAVE TROUBLE PERFORMING
BECAUSE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED.

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S WHAT I HAVE.

YOU CAN DEAL WITH
YOUR PROBLEM

WITH "POSITIVE
VISUALIZATION."

I'LL TRY ANYTHING.

HERE'S WHAT
YOU DO.

YOU VISUALIZE YOURSELF STANDING
IN FRONT OF THE CHALKBOARD

WORKING THE PROBLEM CORRECTLY.

THEN VISUALIZE
MISS WESTLAKE SMILING

READY TO EMBRACE YOU.

OH, SONDRA, STOP!

I THINK THAT VISUALIZING
MISS WESTLAKE

IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

I THINK THAT WHEN YOU'RE
STANDING UP AT THE BOARD

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

WHAT THEO NEEDS TO DO

IS VISUALIZE HIMSELF
UP IN HIS BEDROOM

DOING HIS HOMEWORK.

HAVE YOU EVER OPENED UP
ONE OF HIS BOOKS?

Sandra:
NO.

YOU CAN HEAR THE BOOK OPEN.

I THINK YOU OUGHT TO
COME ALONG WITH ME.

I WANT YOU TO
VISUALIZE YOURSELF

DOING YOUR HOMEWORK

AND VISUALIZE THE FACT
THAT YOU ARE REALLY DOING IT.

AND, THEN, VISUALIZE
YOUR FATHER

DRIVING YOU TO
A COLLEGE CAMPUS.

I WANT YOU TO VISUALIZE
GOOD-LOOKING WOMEN

WHO WANT TO DATE BOYS
WHO VISUALIZE THEMSELVES

WITH GOOD GRADES.

I CAN VISUALIZE THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

I CAN ALSO

VISUALIZE MYSELF

IN A NICE SPORTS CAR.

GOOD.

I WANT YOU TO VISUALIZE
YOURSELF PAYING FOR IT.

All:
GO! GO! GO! GO!

OKAY, OKAY.

RUDY, WHEN YOU SCORE
YOUR FIRST TOUCHDOWN

HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

Denise:
THEO!

HI, RUDY.

Cliff:
YOUR BLOCKING
BACK IS HERE.

WHERE'S MOM?

IN THE
KITCHEN.

EVERYBODY GET
IN THE CAR.

EVERYBODY'S IN THE CAR.

COME ON.

I'D RATHER STAY HERE.

BUT TODAY IS YOUR DAUGHTER'S
FOOTBALL DEBUT.

TODAY WE'RE GOING TO WATCH
THE GRAY GHOST GALLOP.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS.

YOU SAID WHEN OUR SON
WAS PLAYING:

"CLIFF, IT'S IMPORTANT

THAT THE FATHER BE THERE
TO WATCH THE BOY."

I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT

THAT THE MOTHER
WATCH THE DAUGHTER.

ALL RIGHT.

BUT IF ANYBODY TRIES
TO HURT MY BABY

I'M GOING TO GO OUT THERE
AND STOP THEM.

THIS IS GOING
TO BE WONDERFUL.

SEE A MOTHER RUNNING
OUT ON THE FIELD.

All:
SIX...

SEVEN...

EIGHT...

NINE...

Coach:
GET THEM UP, GET THEM UP!

HIGHER, HIGHER.

( cheering )

( whistle )

( cheering )

Cliff:
RUN, RUDY!

( screaming, cheering )

DID YOU SEE THAT?!

THAT'S MY DAUGHTER!

THAT'S MY CHILD!

THAT'S MY
DAUGHTER, TOO.

MY DAUGHTER.

( whistle )

( clapping, cheering )

GRAY GHOST!

THAT'S SWEET FEET!

Clair and Cliff:
SWEET FEET! SWEET FEET!

Crowd chanting:
SWEET FEET, SWEET FEET!

( cheering, clapping )

Chanting:
SWEET FEET! OKAY! YAY!!

ALL RIGHT!

WE'LL GET READY FOR
THE VICTORY BANQUET!

All:
YAY!!

AND WHOEVER MADE
FOUR TOUCHDOWNS

GETS TO DECIDE
WHAT WE'LL EAT.

HOT DOGS!

ALL RIGHT!

EVERYBODY GO UPSTAIRS
AND WASH.

RUDY, GREAT GAME.

WAY TO
GO, RUDY.

HOW YOU DOING?

FINE.

IS ANYTHING HURT?

I HAVE A BUMP
RIGHT HERE.

LET ME SEE.

OH... OH, SHE
GOT A BOOBOO.

DID YOU GET THAT DIVING
INTO THE END ZONE?

I'LL MAKE IT
FEEL BETTER.

OKAY?

OKAY.

WHY DON'T YOU

GO TAKE A BATH?

OKAY.

SWEET FEET.

SWEET FEET.

SWEET FEET.

YOU ARE PITIFUL.

IS THIS THE SAME WOMAN,
A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO:

"I DON'T WANT MY CHILD
ON A FOOTBALL FIELD

...KILL SOMEBODY..."

I WAS CONCERNED.

BUT CLIFF, FOUR TOUCHDOWNS?

RUDY IS FIERCE.

I LOVED IT... ESPECIALLY--

THAT MOVE WHERE SHE
FAKED THEM ALL OUT!

MY BABY RAN TO THE LEFT

RAN TO THE RIGHT, DOWN
THE FIELD TO THE GOAL!

SWEET FEET, YES!

YES!!

THAT'S MY CHILD OUT THERE
HAVING FUN.

I THINK THE MOTHER HAD
MORE FUN THAN THE CHILD.

I DON'T RECALL EVER ENJOYING
A FOOTBALL GAME THAT MUCH.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

OH, WELL THAT'S EXCEPT
FOR YOUR GAMES.

I ENJOYED YOUR GAMES,
BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.

YOU WERE ENTERTAINING.

YOU GAVE THE CROWDS
THRILLS-- AND LAUGHTER.

WHERE DID THE
LAUGHTER COME IN?

THERE WAS THE
WESTFIELD GAME.

IN THE WESTFIELD GAME
I SCORED TWO TOUCHDOWNS.

THAT'S RIGHT, AND THEY
SCORED THREE OFF YOUR FUMBLES.

IT WAS RAINING AND
THE BALL WAS SLIPPERY.

I SEE... WELL, THEN THERE
WAS THE HARRISON GAME.

THE HARRISON GAME.

STARTING KICKOFF, THE
BALL LANDED ON YOUR HEAD.

THE BALL DID NOT
LAND ON MY HEAD.

IT BOUNCED OFF OF MY HELMET

BECAUSE THE SUN WAS
DIRECTLY IN MY EYES.

OH, I SEE, SO YOU HAD TROUBLE
ON RAINY AND SUNNY DAYS.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE
GROVERTON GAME?

IN THE SNOW.

AND I WAS GOOD IN THE SNOW.

NO, CLIFF,
IN THE SNOW

EVERYBODY LOOKED
AS BAD AS YOU.

DON'T EVER KISS ME AGAIN.

( disco music )

♪ BABY, BABY,
WHEN I LOOK AT YOU

I FEEL... ♪

( music stops )

HI, DAD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ROBERT DOESN'T
HAVE THIS ALBUM.

I'VE SEEN THE PHONE
USED FOR MANY THINGS

BUT NEVER AS A RADIO STATION.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO SING THE
NATIONAL ANTHEM TO ROBERT

AND TELL HIM YOUR BROADCASTING
FOR THE DAY IS FINISHED.

I'LL CALL YOU
BACK, OKAY?

NO, NO,
NO, NO.

YOU'RE NOT CALLING HIM BACK.

JUST A SECOND.

HI, ROBERT? THIS IS
DR. HUXTABLE, HOW ARE YOU?

LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY:

THE VANESSA
BROADCASTING COMPANY

HAS NOW CONCLUDED ITS
BROADCASTING FOR TODAY.

PICK HER UP TOMORROW
AT EIGHT O'CLOCK

TO WALK HER TO SCHOOL,
ALL RIGHT?

( sings
"The Star-spangled Banner" )

AH, BOY.

HEY NOW, FOOTBALL GAME.

YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH
FOOTBALL WITH ME?

YEAH.

WHO'S PLAYING?

THE BEARS AGAINST
THE GIANTS.

THIS IS GOING TO BE
A GREAT GAME.

HOW DO YOU KNOW

THIS IS GOING TO BE
A GREAT GAME?

THEY LOOK LIKE THEY
KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

WHO'S GOT
THE BALL?

THE BEARS, DEAR.

AND WHO IS PLAYING
RUDY'S POSITION?

NUMBER 34, HIS NAME
IS WALTER PEYTON.

..!! ...!!!
YEAH! GET IT!

NINE YARDS,
THAT WAS MEAN.

NINE YARDS? AND
HE GOT TACKLED?

YES.

RUDY'S BETTER THAN HIM.

WHY IS THAT MAN MOVING?

THAT'S "MAN IN MOTION"--
IT CONFUSES THE DEFENSE.

I KNOW RUDY'S TEAM
COULD USE THIS

AGAINST THE COUGARS
ON SATURDAY.

THE COUGARS ARE TOUGH.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

PETER'S MOTHER.

LAST YEAR THEY
WERE THE CHAMPIONS.

THEY EVEN HAVE
CHEERLEADERS.

YES, BUT THEY DON'T
HAVE SWEET FEET.

HEY, A BALL GAME,
WHO'S PLAYING?

BEARS, GIANTS.

OH, I HEARD OF THEM.

SEE THAT GUY?

THE COACH PUT HIM
IN MOTION

TO CONFUSE
THE DEFENSE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
COACH RUDY'S TEAM.

MAYBE NEXT YEAR.

WHICH ONE IS
RUDY'S POSITION?

OH, WALTER SOMEBODY, HONEY,
BUT HE GOT TACKLED.

HE IS NOT AS
GOOD AS RUDY.

I DON'T LIKE
THOSE COSTUMES.

THE BLUE CLASHES
WITH THE GREEN.

YEAH, BUT THAT BLACK
DOES MAKE THEM LOOK THIN.

I LIKE
THE PANTS!

YEAH?

NOW, DENISE, YOU SEE
THAT ONE RIGHT THERE?

NUMBER 16?

YEAH? HE'S CUTE.

YES, HE IS CUTE.

HOW ARE MY
FIRST-STRINGERS?

FINE!!

OKAY, LET'S GO-- WE GOT
A BALL GAME TODAY.

CHECK IT OUT, MOM.

Clair:
"YOU CAN'T BEAT
SWEET FEET--"

I LOVE IT.

THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

WE'RE WAITING
FOR VANESSA--

VANESSA, HONEY,
LET'S MOVE IT.

WE ARE GOING TO
A FOOTBALL GAME.

ROBERT MIGHT
DROP BY.

COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, LET'S GO!

Chanting:
LET'S GO, LET'S GO!

PARDON ME--

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO PLAY FOOTBALL?

YEAH!!!

WELL, LET'S GO,
HERE WE GO, COME ON.

HIT IT!

HIT IT!

HIT IT!

HIT IT!

HOW YOU FEELING?

FINE.

ROUGH OUT THERE, HUH?

I KNOW-- WE'LL GET
THEM NEXT TIME.

BUT TODAY WAS THE LAST
GAME OF THE SEASON.

OH... CAN I TAKE
MY BATH NOW?

SURE.

Vanessa:
I'LL HELP
YOU CHANGE.

Denise:
I'LL GIVE YOU
A RUBDOWN.

MAN, THOSE COUGARS HAD
THEIR ACT TOGETHER.

YEAH.

IT'S A MIRACLE WE
ONLY LOST... 47 TO SIX.

SOMETIMES THE CLOCK
IS MERCIFUL.

WHEREVER SHE WENT
THEY WAITED FOR HER.

I THINK THEY NEED
TO MAKE A NEW RULE

THAT ONLY ONE PERSON
CAN TACKLE AT A TIME.

DID YOU SEE THE WAY
THEY PILED UP ON MY BABY?

AND NUMBER 36--
FROG-EYED THING--

THE WAY HE THREW HER DOWN!

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO
SMACK THAT CHILD.

DEAR, THAT'S THE
WAY THEY TACKLE.

THE BOY WAS ONLY
DOING HIS JOB.

UH-UH-- THIS GAME IS ALL
ABOUT WHO YOU CAN KILL.

IT IS ANIMALISTIC.

THE GAME IS NOT
ANIMALISTIC.

AND DON'T EAT
ANY MORE COOKIES!

THOSE COUGARS WERE NOT OUT
THERE TO HAVE FUN TODAY, CLIFF.

THEY ONLY CARED
ABOUT ONE THING:

THEY CARED ABOUT WINNING.

THAT'S ALL THEY
CARED ABOUT.

THEY CARED A LOT.

THERE'S TOO MUCH EMPHASIS
ON SPORTS.

THE MONEY FROM ONE WEEKEND
OF SPORTS ATTENDANCE

COULD FUND A GOOD BALLET
COMPANY FOR TEN YEARS.

Cliff:
THIS IS NOT
ABOUT FOOTBALL.

IT'S ABOUT US.

WHEN THIS CHILD FIRST
WENT OUT FOR FOOTBALL

WE ALL SAID, "THIS
IS A LITTLE GIRL

SHE'S GOING TO GET HURT,
IT'S A DANGEROUS SPORT."

THEN SHE BEGGED US
AND WE LET HER GO OUT.

SHE BECAME GREAT AND THEN
EVERYBODY SAID

"YEAH, SWEET FEET,
SWEET FEET!"

THEN WE CAME UP
TO THIS GAME

AND THE COUGARS,
GOD BLESS THEM

THEY CAUGHT OUR DAUGHTER

AND THEY THREW HER
UP IN THE AIR

AND NOW MY WIFE IS SAYING

"SOMEBODY'S GOT TO
SMACK THESE PEOPLE"

AND MY DAUGHTER WANTS ALL
OF THE MONEY FROM FOOTBALL

TO BE GIVEN TO BALLET.

THAT'S NOT
WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

WE'RE THE PEOPLE WHO
CHANGED OUR MIND.

AND I THINK WE ALL SHOULD
APOLOGIZE TO RUDY.

APOLOGIZE? FOR WHAT?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

CLIFF, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

I THINK I'M GOING TO
HAVE THESE BRONZED

BECAUSE SHE'S NOT
GOING TO PLAY ANYMORE.

AND SHE CAN ONE DAY PUT
THESE UP ON HER MANTELPIECE

AND TELL-- WHOEVER--
WHAT SHE DID.

IN A WEEK SHE MIGHT BE
INTERESTED IN BALLET.

DEAR, YOU CAN STILL
GET HURT IN BALLET.

YOU COULD PULL A MUSCLE,
OR WHEN YOU DO THE...

WHAT DO THEY
CALL THEM?

WHEN THEY JUMP UP--

AND THE MAN COULD
FORGET TO CATCH YOU.

( knocking )

Clair and Cliff:
WHO IS IT?

Rudy:
ME!

COME IN, ME!

I CAN'T SLEEP,
VANESSA'S SNORING.

SO?

CAN I SLEEP HERE?

SURE.
NO.

RUDY?

YEAH?

YOU LIKE FOOTBALL.

YEAH.

WELL, YOU'RE
GETTING

A 15-YARD PENALTY
FOR INTERFERENCE.

GOOD NIGHT, RUDY.

GOOD NIGHT, MOMMY.

GOOD NIGHT, CLIFF.

THIS IS A COLD-BLOODED
FAMILY, BOY.